Author Archives: Make Up the Life You Love

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About Make Up the Life You Love

Hi, my name is Meli and I am the creator of Make Up the Life You Love!

The Best Things to Do When Someone Doesn’t Want to Be With You

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When someone is distancing themselves from you or pulling away, it is natural to want to chase more or to try harder to earn back their validation. It is also common to see someone chase after someone they care about once the other person breaks up with them. People tend to hold onto false hope and optimism that by sticking around or by chasing the other person, this person will eventually change their mind and want to be together again or maybe build attraction again. The truth of the matter is, this typically has the OPPOSITE effect and is the wrong psychology. The reason why this is not effective is that if the other person has made up their mind already that they do not want to be with you or continue a relationship, then giving more of your attention is going to actually repel the other person and probably turn them off even more. The only way that there is a chance that things could potentially work out later is to remove your attention in its entirety and to provide them the space that they asked for. This gives the person the freedom and the time to think about what they want and the potential opportunity to miss you. That is why the quote, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” exists is because sometimes time apart is needed in order to rekindle a connection or to realize how much this person was important to them. Keep in mind that there is no guarantee that the other person will miss you but at the very least, giving ample space allows for there to be a chance for this to happen.

Aside from giving the person space, you should also invest your energy into bettering yourself and moving on completely. It is a waste of time to go after someone who doesn’t see your value or want to be with you–bottom line. You are always better off leaving the person alone which also makes it easier for you to get over the person because you took your focus away from them. Also remember that there is no greater investment than investing in yourself and that you can do this in various ways. You can pick up a new hobby, spend quality time with friends, expand your career, etc. Your time is valuable so it is best to invest your time in self than investing it in someone who does not mutually feel the way same way about you. As I have mentioned previously, you naturally become more attractive to others when you possess self love and become your very best version of self but remember that regardless, you are doing this because YOU want to and not for anyone else.

3 Reasons Why Daily Exercise is Essential

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While many would agree that staying healthy is a priority, not everyone puts the right practices into place to ensure that they maintain their health. I would say that there are many factors that contribute to living a healthy lifestyle that include implementing a nutritious diet, getting enough rest each day, keeping stress levels low, and daily exercise. While I know many people live very busy lives between their careers and personal lives, I do not think that should be an excuse or a free pass to ignore exercising a few days a week. Why? I believe that daily exercise is not only important for your health but that it is essential for your well being.

Exercise Boosts Your Mood – For me personally, I am in such a better mood for the day after I exercise. Whereas when I do not fit in the time for a workout, I notice a difference in my mood where I might not feel as happy and upbeat. Studies do show that exercise very well does not only uplift your mood but it also helps as a stress reliever. For many including myself, exercise also builds my mental strength which is just as important as your physical strength and perhaps even more so.

Exercise Helps With Weight Management – While some might not feel that they are in need of losing weight or building muscle, it is still a good habit to exercise to maintain your weight throughout your lifetime. As people age, it is natural to put on excess weight little by little due to the metabolism slowing down over time. I do believe that focusing on a healthy diet is more effective than exercise given the choice; however, if you eat well AND exercise daily, that is the golden combo in helping you stay physically fit and obtaining a desirable physique.

Exercise Prevents Potential Health Problems – I look at it like this, we only have one body that is going to carry us throughout life. It is for this reason that we should treat our bodies with care and in order to do so, we have to feed our bodies with the right nutrients and fuel while also keeping the body moving in order for it to operate as efficiently and effectively as possible. By taking the time to exercise daily, it helps in preventing future health problems to occur and also can add many extra years to your life. Remember that every little bit of exercise helps and it is never too late to start!

Reflecting on Pandemic Life – 2 Years Ago From Today and Moving Forward

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I don’t think many people would have ever predicted that they would be living through a pandemic within their lifetime. I know for me personally, it was something that never crossed my mind and now it is a life experience that we can all agree is unforgettable and one that we will remember looking back on for years to come. When I reflect about where I was exactly two years ago on March 15th, 2020–it is a day that I can reflect upon quite vividly. I was on an airplane flying from Arizona back to New Jersey. No one was really wearing masks yet and I was not so concerned about catching the virus but was more nervous about whether I would be able to fly back safely without being in a situation where we would have to be quarantined. Covid-19 was labeled a global pandemic just a few days prior and everything was beginning to shut down. I remember thinking to myself on that plane ride that I cannot get back home to New Jersey fast enough. A few days before my flight, people were encouraging me to cancel my trip altogether but I knew then that it was now or never. I am glad that I followed my instincts because I have not been on an airplane since that date and things progressively had gotten worse as time went on.

In addition to my flight home, I also had a wake to attend later that same afternoon. Everything was normal at that time as a normal wake would be but if it had occurred even a week or two later, I do not know if there would have been a public wake service at all because there was a point where wake and funeral services had to be put on hold or just not occur at all.

Although I had arrived back home safely on March 15th, just two days later on March 17th was when everything had officially shut down in the USA which meant schools, gyms, restaurants, and so much more. It is crazy to think back at that time where everyone was asked to quarantine and stay at home for so many months. It felt like there was a pause button placed on our lives yet we were witnessing on the news day in and day out how many people were suffering throughout the entire world. It was a time of such uncertainty in our lives and impacted every single individual one way or another.

Fast forwarding a full two years to where we are now on March 15th, 2022, I would say that although the pandemic is not officially over, we are finally at a good place where cases are going down and it appears that the virus has become much milder since the initial variant. It is the first time in a really long time that I feel as though we are moving towards a more “normal” life again although it might take many years to ever live a life that was close to our pre-pandemic lives. While the pandemic brought upon us many challenges and misfortunes, I do believe with that comes many life lessons. It was also a time to appreciate some of the simplest joys and to embrace those moments of solitude which might have made people feel lonely at times (myself included). As the pandemic begins to fade away, I look forward to seeing the people that I haven’t seen in a long time and I cannot wait to travel again, even if that means domestically at the present moment. Little by little, things are bound to get better again and we just have to keep looking forward with a positive state of mind.

Is It Okay to Date Multiple People at the Same Time?

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When people are dating, it is possible to be in situations where you are dating more than one person at the same time. If you are not in a committed relationship, you have more dating opportunities along with more freedom in terms of your dating choices. Sometimes it is good to casually date different people to get a better sense of what you are looking for when you are ready to find a serious relationship or life partner; however, the majority of the time, I would not suggest dating multiple people at the same time.

For one, it is possible to form emotional attachments to more than one person if you are setting yourself up in a position to do so. If you only focused your time and energy into getting to know one person, then you do not run the risk of liking a few people at the same time. While that might not seem like a big deal, it can become problematic because you have to remember that these same people are also forming emotional attachments towards you and it is not fair to lead someone on if your intent is to spend time with more than one person. It is possible that they are doing the same thing as you are where they are dating a few people at once but unless you have that open conversation with someone, you never truly know for sure and one can always choose to conceal this information if they are a private and/or dishonest individual.

Aside from other people developing feelings for you, remember that it can go both ways where you can start to like more than one person. The issue with this is that when you are left with a few options, eventually you are going to have to make a choice and it is not sustainable to live your life dating multiple people simultaneously. It can create a high level of cognitive dissonance and internal conflicts because it does not feel right inside to develop feelings for more than one person at a time. From a moral standpoint, you might recognize that this is wrong and that this lifestyle cannot carry on forever. It is important to do the right thing by being open and honest with everyone who you are involved with. This will sometimes give you better clarity as to whether or not these relationships are temporary or have the potential to lead to something more serious in the future.

At the end of the day, it is your personal choice if you decide to date multiple people at the same time; however, always keep in mind how your actions can affect others including yourself. In order to prevent potential problems down the road, it is important to be transparent and make sure that people are aware of the situation and are accepting of it before moving forward. This is the best way to prevent misleading someone or hurting another person’s feelings. It is necessary that people are on the same page at all times which is why proceeding with honesty and caution is always the right approach within any dating scenario.

Happy International Women’s Day

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Today is March 8th which happens to be International Women’s Day. I was not too familiar with this being an actual day for women to acknowledge but I have received some emails today in regards to it. What does International Women’s Day mean to me?

As much as we try to make both genders as equal as possible, I don’t think that it is realistic for everything to be equal at all times, especially depending on what part of the world you live in where women’s rights and freedoms are still limited. However, it is important to note that as women, we have come a very long way and have progressed significantly in terms of things that we can do that were not opportunities given to us previously such as getting an education, pursing a career, voting, and so much more. It is empowering growing up at a time where I feel that as a woman, I can accomplish many great things in my lifetime. I also do not feel I am in a position where I have to rely on a man to have the things that I want and that I am capable of earning things myself while also being an equal contributing partner within a marriage.

Today and everyday, let’s continue to celebrate women and all the amazing strides and accomplishments that we have made so far. At the same time, I also believe that we are ALL capable of doing anything that we put our minds to. Remember that the sky’s the limit and to always shoot for the moon! 😉

Why Delayed Gratification is More Gratifying

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We live in a society that thrives on instant gratification. People tend to want immediate results and everything to be an easy process. For example, if someone is looking to get in a shape, even though one knows that consistently putting in the time to work out effectively and cleaning up their diet would give them those results over time, this person might give up pretty easily on getting fit because it is not an overnight process. What people need to realize is that most big successes or anything that is worth having do very well take a good amount of time. It can take months, years, or perhaps decades! It is crucial to always stay focused on the end goal and to put in the work that is needed day by day. Even if that means that you have to go through long periods of time not seeing results, that is not a reason to give up on what you want. This might even be a time to reflect on a new approach, to work a little harder, or maybe take a short break if it is needed to prevent burnout–which is totally okay.

Although delayed gratification might not feel as enjoyable as receiving something instantly, you actually hold a higher value on something that you have to work harder towards. I always like to point out that is often why people perceive expensive items as higher value because it takes up more time to save up to purchase these goods. Whether or not the quality is actually worth its price is up to the individual to determine but people tend to gravitate towards desiring the things that are more out of their reach as opposed to something that was given to them or was easier to obtain. It can be an incredibly rewarding feeling once you finally receive something that you desired most and that you had to work hard towards which is why it is actually more gratifying than instant gratification because you earned it yourself.

Although the process might feel like a never ending one, delayed gratification is not a bad thing because it adds many positive attributes to one’s character such as patience, motivation, and discipline while also building one’s work ethic. If someone was to receive everything that they wanted very easily without any effort, this person would never feel challenged in life and probably would remain a very lazy individual. It is for this reason that it is also good to set the bar high and want to strive for bigger and better things. People should always find ways to challenge themselves for the greater good of their self development and for a brighter future. Everything is within reach, no matter how long it takes to get there. Don’t forget to enjoy the journey as you are experiencing it and remember that all your efforts are worth it to achieve and receive everything that you want to manifest most in your lifetime.

How to Be Happy in Any Relationship

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I have written many blogs on the subject of being single and happy along with how it can very well be a good thing; however, I have not really taken the time to write about ways to be remain happy when you are in a relationship. So I will take a moment to reflect and delve into that subject matter because it is just as important to find happiness while you are in a relationship (whether it be a casual relationship or a permanent one) as it is to be happy when you are single.

Find the Right Partner – This is the most essential component of finding happiness in any relationship is to actually find a partner whom you are compatible with and that you overall get along with. The more similar you are with your partner and the more you both see eye-to-eye on most important areas in life, the less likely that there are going to be arguments or any built up tension between each other.

Establish Respect and Healthy Boundaries – It is extremely important with any relationship, that there is mutual respect for one another along with healthy boundaries to be in place which should be established at the very early stages of any relationship to ensure that both people are on the same page. This is not only the foundation of a happy relationship but also a very healthy one.

Work Together – It is very easy in a relationship to attack your partner or to take a single minded approach whenever a problem arrives. Nothing really gets accomplished when two people work against each other which is why you need to make it a point to understand each other’s point of view and to always work together. Keep in mind that it is expected that compromises and sacrifices are going to be needed for promoting togetherness and the greater good of the relationship. Two people will feel better knowing that the end goal is to work towards coming together as one as opposed to fighting with each other which causes separation, resentment, and typically no real solution.

Focus on the Positive Without Expecting Perfection – Realistically, there is no such thing as a “perfect” partner in which you will love every single quality about the person; however, I do very much believe that you can find what you define as your perfect match where your partner possesses many desirable qualities that you are attracted to. That is why you always should fixate on the positive qualities of the person you choose to be with. If you focus on their best qualities, then there is a higher chance that you will naturally feel happier being with this person. If you find that their bad qualities outweigh the good, then this might be a good time to break off the relationship and consider finding a new partner altogether.

Love Yourself Above Anything Else – This might come across as an oxymoron and you might be thinking, “So you’re telling me to love myself above anything else in order to be happy in a relationship? How do I do both at the same time?” What I really am pointing out is the importance of SELF LOVE. If this is something that you recognize that you need to work on, it is wise to work on increasing self love before getting into a serious relationship. Remember that when you love yourself, you will always find happiness from within regardless of your relationship status. Self love can also serve as a spiritual tool that can help you make your very best dating decisions in your life and guide you towards finding your true match. Think about it, when you love yourself above anything else, it is much easier to weed out the toxic people who only bring your life down and as a result, only pursue a relationship that is going to bring you unlimited happiness throughout your lifetime.

Changing Others – Is It Worth a Try or Are You Wasting Your Time?

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It is very common to see people try to change others, whether it be a significant other, a family member, or friend. The truth of the matter is, the person is never going to change if they do not want to change. Sometimes people might go through the motions of trying to change to make the other person happy but usually those changes are temporary and are not authentic to the individual which is why the changes are not permanent. It is for this reason why I do not believe that you can change others but at the very least, you can positively impact others as an alternative. By that, I mean that you can try to be a good influence on someone and over time, the other person might be motivated to change–for themselves and not because you pressured them to.

I find the best way to influence others is to practice what you preach and to lead by example. If you have good habits, it is natural for the other person to want to emulate you which is a good thing. It could take time and as I mentioned, it is ultimately up to the other person to want to change at the end of the day. It is important to understand that even with your very best efforts to promote change and your unlimited support, the other person might never change. If this is the reality, then it is up to you to accept the person as is or depending on the situation, it might be best to reject the person altogether–as harsh as that sounds.

If you find that the other person has qualities that you desperately want to change and these changes are simply not feasible, it is okay to remove this person from your life. I say that because it is not worth spending time with someone who has many qualities that you find undesirable. As they say, “birds of a feather flock together” which is why it is best to surround yourself around others who are like minded like yourself in which you would not find a need to change the other person to begin with.

Happy 2/22/22!!! :) – Are Certain Dates Luckier Than Others?

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Happy 2/22/22! How cool is it that today’s date is all consecutive numbers? This rarely happens and it is worth pointing out as I would label it a lucky day. It also is somewhat ironic that it’s a Tuesday or “twos day.” For me personally, 22 has always been a lucky number and so it feels especially lucky that today is February 22, 2022.

So are certain dates luckier than others?

Whether or not you have “lucky” numbers or positive associations to certain numbers, I think that if you do, then those dates will consciously feel luckier to you–regardless of what the day brings. It is more so for fun to have lucky numbers. By that, I mean that you can generate your own luck on a daily basis and that you do not need to rely on specific days to be lucky in order to experience any luck or abundance of joy.

Regardless of your personal views on whether or not some numbers are luckier than others, I hope that 2/22/22 is a great day for you! I am going to keep this post short and sweet and enjoy this day as it feels special to me! 🙂

Why You Need to Approach Dating With Self Love and Confidence

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I can tell a lot about a person’s self confidence level based on their dating choices. When someone tells me that they are with someone who neglects, cheats, and/or shares with me instances of any other extreme form of disrespect–this illustrates to me that this person does not have enough self love or thinks very highly of self. Why? When people possess a high level of self confidence and loves self, then you will find that they are not in these unhealthy relationships or bad situations to begin with. They are able to put themselves FIRST and foremost before their significant other with ease and will opt to find their very best match as opposed to dating someone who doesn’t meet their standards. They also do not have a tolerance for bad behavior or any signs of mistreatment and are ready to walk away altogether whenever they see any reoccurring red flag in a relationship.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are unhappy with your partner, it is important to dig deep and determine the reasons why you feel that way while also taking the time to look from within and examine your own level of self love. If you feel down about yourself, it might not be the best time in your life to be in a relationship. The reason being that you need to love self and be your best self before pursuing dating on a serious level. If you can work on yourself, not only are you benefiting your very best asset (that’s you) but you are also setting yourself up for attracting a desirable partner whom you can offer your best while also receiving the best in return. It is a win/win situation on both sides and the foundation of a fulfilling and rewarding relationship when you have two people who equally feel confident about themselves along with the overall success of their relationship.