When it comes to expectations, I find that people tend to either set them too high or too low. It is definitely good to set expectations in general as opposed to not setting them at all but there is such a thing as setting expectations that are too high. When it comes to personal relationships, it is important to make a conscious effort in finding a healthy balance with your expectations. It is natural to place high expectations on a new relationship or when you meet someone new whom you really like. While you might have a mental checklist of exactly what you are looking for in a mate, the reality is, no one is perfect and no one is going to fit every single item on your checklist. That is why I emphasize that the key is BALANCE when navigating your expectations or otherwise you are always going to be left unhappy–no matter who you’re with.
I recommend taking the time to develop a realistic list of expectations of what matters to you most but to also keep your mind open to other people’s differences. While it is great being able to find a person with many similarities, sometimes contrasting traits will enhance the relationship and still ensure that there is compatibility because they will compliment each other. A common example of this is if someone is more extroverted, this person will tend to connect better with someone who is more introverted. When developing any healthy relationship, it is essential to have the capacity of adapting to others while also being flexible. As I mentioned previously, being too rigid and/or setting your expectations too high will typically result in major disappointment and unhappiness which all could have been avoided.
If you do find that you are dating someone who doesn’t meet any of your expectations–in other words, this person has more negative qualities than positive qualities, then you have every right to want to cut your losses and move on. There is no point in settling with being someone who does not live up to any of your expectations and mislead the other person into thinking that you are invested in the relationship when you already know ultimately that you are not interested due to unmet expectations.