Tag Archives: Self Help

Changing Others – Is It Worth a Try or Are You Wasting Your Time?

It is very common to see people try to change others, whether it be a significant other, a family member, or friend. The truth of the matter is, the person is never going to change if they do not want to change. Sometimes people might go through the motions of trying to change to make the other person happy but usually those changes are temporary and are not authentic to the individual which is why the changes are not permanent. It is for this reason why I do not believe that you can change others but at the very least, you can positively impact others as an alternative. By that, I mean that you can try to be a good influence on someone and over time, the other person might be motivated to change–for themselves and not because you pressured them to.

I find the best way to influence others is to practice what you preach and to lead by example. If you have good habits, it is natural for the other person to want to emulate you which is a good thing. It could take time and as I mentioned, it is ultimately up to the other person to want to change at the end of the day. It is important to understand that even with your very best efforts to promote change and your unlimited support, the other person might never change. If this is the reality, then it is up to you to accept the person as is or depending on the situation, it might be best to reject the person altogether–as harsh as that sounds.

If you find that the other person has qualities that you desperately want to change and these changes are simply not feasible, it is okay to remove this person from your life. I say that because it is not worth spending time with someone who has many qualities that you find undesirable. As they say, “birds of a feather flock together” which is why it is best to surround yourself around others who are like minded like yourself in which you would not find a need to change the other person to begin with.

My Earliest Stages as a Writer and The Purpose of This Blog

When thinking about an introduction post to kick off the launch of my new writing project and self help blog, I thought it would be beneficial for my readers to learn a little bit more about my writing background and purpose behind, Make Up the Life You Love.

For me personally, writing is a form of creation and a means of self expression. I have always gravitated towards the art of writing because it allows me to capture my inner most thoughts and feelings. Writing is also a very powerful tool as a way to communicate with others, especially in today’s modern world where people communicate mostly via emails and texts.

As a child, my earliest memories of writing and putting it into practice outside the typical school setting was through my hobby of writing to pen pals from all over the world. This was during a time that the internet did not exist yet (hard to believe, I know), so I was hand writing letters to my pen pals. Another writing related hobby from my childhood and a rather unique one at that was creating magazines for my best friend. Yes, she was my one and only subscriber as we both created our own personalized magazines just for each other. We would design the coolest looking magazines and write the funniest content.

As a youngster, I started to keep a personal journal/diary and had one from as early as 5th grade. I was not consistently writing back then but by the time I reached high school, I decided to keep a journal of my entire high school experience which I took the time to update a few times a week. By the time I graduated, I had completed five full journals.

Throughout my entire lifetime, I have fallen in and out of writing a personal journal but have made it a permanent practice since 2014. I decided I wanted to get into the habit of keeping one because I like reflecting on what is going on in my life and capturing what is happening at that present moment. It is kind of like when you take a photograph, you are capturing that moment in time and writing a journal entry is another form of capturing time but in a more thought provoking kind of way.

By the time I went to college, I started my very first blog. It is actually still publicly on the internet, I remember the links and go back to it from time to time if I want to read about what my life was like back then. I started a blog because my high school friends and I all decided that we should keep a blog to write about what our lives were like in college in case we were too busy and didn’t have a chance to keep in touch as often. It was a way for all of us to stay connected since we couldn’t see each other and for us to read about how college life was treating us. As the years went by, we all slowly started to detach from our blogs but I saw the value of this writing experience as it allowed me to share my life in a public and digital platform which I had never done before.

In school, English (better known as Language Arts today) and Math were always my best subjects. This might be surprising as they seem like opposites but I look at them both as fundamental subject matters, essentially life skills so this is why I view them as being quite similar. I was never really into reading but enjoyed English because it gave me the opportunity to write. I will never forget any of my English teachers from high school (Mrs. Heuner, Ms. McCarroll, Ms. Miers, and Mr. Van Antwerp) who all had a positive impact on me at that age to continue my affinity for writing.

My parents both shaped me to become a stronger writer as this was a skill they both equally valued. Oddly enough, they were not the type of parents to care too much about my report cards or the grades I received from school. They knew I always put my best effort and was overall a good student. However, when it came to writing an essay, they were all over it. My dad has reminded me that there was at least one time he can remember editing an essay and it was not up to his standard so he had me completely start over. He says to this day, he will never forget the transformation from the before to the after. He was simply amazed how I had the capacity to turn something that he thought was awful into something extraordinary. I can vividly remember how both my parents would edit my work so meticulously which forced me to have to become a fairly decent writer. I am incredibly thankful to have parents who provided that educational support at home and cared that much to invest their time in helping me sharpen my writing skills.

So where does that bring us today? I created, Make Up the Life You Love because through my writing, I want to inspire others to live better lives and deliver content that can emotionally save your soul. In more simpler terms, I want to help and connect with people. I know that this is one of my many purposes in this lifetime and I want to thank you for giving me that opportunity and thank you for being here. Whether you take the time to read a single post, become a loyal follower, or find a way to connect with me (don’t be shy), just know that you are very much appreciated and you are welcome at any time. 🙂