Category Archives: Extrovert

How to Know If An Extrovert Likes You (It’s Not What You Think)

I was thinking the other day, how often times extroverts can be misinterpreted simply due to their natural friendliness and outgoing nature. They can walk into a room with ease and approach just about anyone–which is one of their many gifts. However, as a result, I think people make false assumptions that if a person is extra chatty and personable, then this person must like you. If the person is an extrovert, keep in mind that they act this way towards just about everyone because they are most energized from their social interactions. They thrive on being at social gatherings, meeting new people, and having extended conversations. Since this is their natural personality, one should not assume that their social engagement and focused attention towards someone is a form of flirtation or as a way to show a heightened interest–they are probably just being friendly (not flirty). As an extrovert myself, I never want people to mistake my social warmth as anything more than that. This is just who I am at the core and I believe other extroverts can relate that they genuinely like to connect with all types of people.

So one might wonder, “Well if extroverts are pretty much nice to everyone who they encounter, then how are you supposed to know when an extrovert actually likes you in particular?” That is a great question and I agree, it can be extra tricky to decipher their intentions when they can talk to anyone. One has to realize, that people tend to act differently around those who they desire. Usually it is not even a conscious choice, it is subconscious. Personally, if I encounter someone I like, I am actually at a loss for words. I might not have too much to say at the moment of the encounter or just become a little more withdrawn. So in other words, my personality will shift to the opposite of who I truly am and in this case, I become a little more shy. Even though normally I am very talkative, I tend to become more quiet. Again, I am not doing this intentionally, this is just my natural reaction. That is not to say I will stay mute, I will probably warm up to the other person but it might take me a little more extra time than usual.

As I pointed out above, no matter if a person is an extrovert or not, an observation to really look for is if the person’s behavior is true to who they are or if it is different. Chances are, if it is different then there is a higher chance there is some level of interest. The reason being that often times attraction and love are not rational as they stem heavily from your emotions as opposed to your head. When people say that “love is blind,” it is because it is often an irrational choice. Another example of this is, why do you think people play hard to get? It doesn’t make any sense on a rational level–why would you ignore someone who you like? In addition, people tend to also throw all their rules out the window when they like someone or in this case, react rather differently than their normal self when presented with someone who is of interest. Again, rationality and love don’t always go hand in hand. It is for this reason that you should pay closer attention when you notice a pattern is broken or there is a change in behavior. These factors can easily be overlooked but are important to look for when you are trying to figure out if someone likes you or not. The signs are often there but beneath the surface in which you just need to dig a little deeper in order to find them.

Why I Only Date Introverts and The Hidden Benefits Behind Dating Them

I shouldn’t say I “only” date introverts because of course I have been open minded throughout my dating life and have dated various personalities. However, if I were to look at the majority of the people I have dated, then yes, I date “mostly” introverts and yes, I am naturally most attracted to them.

For starters, I am an extrovert which means that I get the most energy from when I am surrounded by people. I think often times people get confused between whether or not they are an extrovert or an introvert because many people feel as though they can be both depending on the situation. Do I enjoy being by myself and my alone time? Of course I do like most people but when you look at the bigger picture, the truth of the matter is that I am a true extrovert at heart. To exemplify this: I love meeting new people, I have no problem going to a place where I don’t know anyone, I love going to social gatherings (weddings, parties, concerts, you name it), and I can chat to pretty much anyone in any given situation. A prior boss once told me that I missed my calling in life in which I should have become a journalist–he would compare me to Barbara Walters.

When it comes to dating, I genuinely believe that the contrast between an extrovert and an introvert is the most ideal dating scenario because they truly compliment each other and their dynamic just seems to balance each other out in the long run. If you know you are an introvert, you might not find this article as beneficial as I would tell you reasons why you should go date an extrovert; however, if you want to keep reading this so you know why you are awesome and why people should date you, then without further ado, you can keep reading. 😉

You are probably wondering what is wrong with two extroverts dating or two introverts dating. Of course there is nothing wrong with that dating situation and it could very well work out because they can relate to each other but it just comes down to a matter of your personal preference. As an extrovert, I find dating my own kind to be somewhat of an annoyance. We both want to talk all the time, we both have too many social functions to go to that conflict with one another, and we both possess a little too much social energy. Two introverts will have the opposite issues where they might not have much to say to each other with some awkward moments of silence or they simply will just never get together to begin with.

What attracts me most about introverts:

  • Introverts are exceptionally great listeners. For someone who has a lot to say all the time, it is rather refreshing to be with someone who listens but actually soaks in everything I am saying. They tend to remember better than I do things that I told them and can recall anything I have once said. There is never a need to repeat anything because they were fully engaged and listening the first time.
  • It might be a little bit more of a challenge to get to know one at first as they can be a more guarded and appear shy but this aura of mystique makes them rather attractive. For me personally, I believe it is this quality that on a subconscious level that gets me more intrigued and provokes me to start the process of getting to know them. I have always joked that if I am in a classroom setting, I am always drawn to that quiet kid in the corner. The one who doesn’t say too much yet typically possesses that cool confidence. This quietness in itself spikes my curiosity and grabs my attention (often times, less is more, isn’t it?) to want to know more.
  • Typically an introvert will have a much smaller social circle than an extrovert so if an introvert gets to know you and chooses you to be a part of their social circle, it truly means something and as a result, they are exceptionally loyal to you. This is not to say that an extrovert is not loyal or that just because they have a bigger social circle, they are incapable of prioritizing their significant other, it is just that introverts seem to be more selective with the people they allow to be a part of their lives. I value this quality because I like to feel as though I was personally selected to be their partner. I equate this to not only mean that I’m special to them but that I must add a high value to their life.
  • I find most introverts to be some of the most emotionally balanced and relaxed people out there. They tend to adapt and go with the flow pretty easily and handle any situation in the most calm way possible. This is such an underrated quality within dating but one that should be recognized and not be left unnoticed.
  • Introverts are usually very committed to their relationships and are truly there for you when you need them. I find when you ask them for something, whatever it is, they will make the effort to follow through–unless it is making them go to a social function they don’t want to go to, then that might be a struggle and a time they are more resistant but other than that, they are happy to do pretty much anything for you and I love that about them.
  • Since introverts legitimately enjoy their alone time, they will totally respect your space and your needs for your own personal time for self. I don’t think I can ever think of a time that I dated an introvert that was clingy or demanded too much of my time. Although I am an extrovert, I still very much value my independence and doing certain things without my significant other. Introverts seem to be very much okay with that as I think they mutually expect the same in return and do not like to feel smothered in any way.

Honestly, I cannot say enough good things about introverts. This is why I’ll always gravitate towards them and want to be with one. Even though I already know that when an introvert chooses to be with me, it is genuine and I am hand selected to be with them, I can honestly say in return that I would not want it any other way either. 🙂