Category Archives: Dating Advice

Let’s Talk About Sex – The Taboo Subject That Couples Should Be Talking About

I just realized that this is the first time that I am blogging about this subject matter but I suppose it is because it is considered to be a rather taboo subject: SEX. Yes, I said it and honestly, this is a topic of discussion that should not be so taboo, especially within a serious relationship. However, I find that most couples don’t feel comfortable talking about it. When people are getting to know someone or perhaps have been in a serious relationship with someone for quite some time, it is common to be talking about things such as their professions, aspirations in life, goals within the relationship, their past, financial situation, etc. Yet, you never really hear people say that they talk about sex which still should be considered to be an important topic of discussion within any relationship. Why? I hate to say this but the truth of the matter is, not everyone is sexually compatible with their partner and/or might have totally different perspectives when it comes to sex. That is why it is ESSENTIAL to talk about these things when you are trying to get close to someone whom you genuinely care about. While it might be awkward, it does not have to be. It can be discussed once there has been a foundation of trust built or when you personally find the time is right. There is nothing wrong with talking about it and it could actually bring two people closer together.

Here are a few sexual topics to consider bringing up…

– How important is sex to you within a relationship? (Aka is it a necessity or you don’t really need much of it to be in a happy relationship?)
– What are your sexual preferences (aka what feels good to you most)?
– What are your sexual boundaries (aka what are things that you are not willing to perform)?
– What were your worst sexual experiences if any?
– How often do you enjoy sex in order to be in a sexually satisfied relationship?

– Do you have any sexual fantasies, if so, what are they?

I just listed a few things that I could come up with although I am sure the list can go on and on just depending on your curiosity level and your desire to connect with your partner. As I mentioned previously, everyone’s sexual perspectives and preferences can vary–and can vary significantly. You cannot assume that everyone has the same sexual expectations and desires as you or anyone who you knew previously because sex is a personal and private thing depending on the individual. I can share from personal experience (without giving away too many details) that I had previous relationships that I broke up because the sexual component of the relationship was NOT in alignment with what I was looking for. While most people assume that sex is always a great thing that is meant to bond two people, I do not believe this is always the case and it can actually have the opposite effect where you find yourself less attracted to the person over time.

If you are in a situation where you do not feel the sexual connection is bringing you closer to the person, it is worth considering moving on. I suppose this just depends on how much you prioritize sex within a relationship but generally speaking, you should NOT be settling on a relationship that is not providing you with what you define as a sexually satisfying relationship because trust me, there is always a better suited match out there and you probably just haven’t found your soulmate just yet but don’t give up–the Universe has got you. 😉

Don’t Let a Scarcity Mindset Ruin Your Dating Life

There are many factors that can hinder people from having a successful dating life and one of the biggest that I see are those who possess a scarcity mindset. What is a scarcity mindset and how does it apply to dating? A scarcity mindset stems from the thought that there are limited options and that there are not enough resources to go around. So as a result, a person with a scarcity mindset believes that they must hold onto dear life everything that they have because something else might not come their way. I can assure you that this is extremely far from the truth! Let’s not forget that we live in an abundant world with lots of opportunities which means that you should never settle upon anything and this is especially true when it comes to dating!

Here are the most common things that I hear people say and I am here to tell you that this is NOT the way to think because it is coming from a place of scarcity when you should train your brain to live ABUNDANTLY.

“I am not happy with my current relationship but I do not think that I could ever find someone again.” – This is a horrible way to think! This essentially is saying that it is okay to settle for unhappiness because there is no hope in finding someone who could be a better suited match. I do believe that two people can find a healthy way to make things work within a relationship but at the same time, if in your heart you know that this is not the one, it is not wise to keep the relationship going just because you do not think you could find someone better. You won’t know unless you break off the relationship, put yourself out there, and explore other dating opportunities.

“I do not think that I will ever find someone this good so I will do whatever it takes to keep them in my life, even if that means that I have to make personal sacrifices that I am not happy about.” – This to me not only conveys that this person has a scarcity mindset but it also shows that this person holds onto many insecurities. I say this because a secure person would not feel they have to bend over backwards just to keep someone around and would want an equal partnership. Someone who is very insecure might feel they have to do a lot in order to compensate for what they are lacking inside and feel that they will only be loved if they go above and beyond for the other person even if that means that the other person is not reciprocating and treats them as a doormat.

“I am never going to find anyone so what is the point of even looking?” – Wow, I do not think it could get much worse than this! This is such a depressing way to think and goes to show that a person that thinks this way is not thinking with an abundant mind. A person with an abundance mindset would know that there is someone for everyone and that they will eventually find their match because there are plenty of people they could connect with and potentially date.

Good Dating Rule to Follow: No Effort? – No Interest

I read this recently — “no effort, no interest” and thought that this concept was not only concise but brilliant. If people took the time to follow this basic principle, they would save themselves from a lot of heartache and wasted time. If someone is not showing interest, while the natural instinct might be to chase more or to ask where you stand or to do more for the other person in order to feel validated, the BEST thing you could do is not engage anymore and to move on. Why stay interested in someone who is not putting in any effort or that gives you a feeling of uncertainty? I understand how hard it is to fight human nature but if you can make a conscious effort to move forward and not waste your time, you would be in a much better spiritual place.

When you are dating someone new, usually the signs are clear from the beginning whether or not the person is showing enough interest or not. Sometimes you will notice someone put in a lot of effort in the very beginning but as time goes on, the person might slowly drift away. Again, rather than trying very hard to hold onto this existing connection, it is best to let it go as soon as you notice the person is starting to put in less effort. If the person wants to keep you in their lives, then this person will find a way to do so without you having to put in all the work all the time. It is also important to remind yourself that we live in a very abundant world so for every door that closes, there is not only another one but a better one ready to be opened. People often forget about this when they are in the dating world and just want to hold onto the one person that is not giving them the level of interest that is desired because they do not realize that there is a much better connection out there for them. As soon as you notice a person is not putting in any effort or showing enough interest, then you should no longer be interested! Just cut your losses and keep it moving–bottom line.

Remember that this rule should apply to everyone! For example, if you are trying to win back an ex and they are showing zero interest in keeping you in your life, why bother trying anymore? Just cut the cord and this person out of your life altogether! Remember that this person is labeled an “ex” for a reason. I know that it is easily said than done but the sooner you can move on from this person, the sooner you can progress by working on yourself or getting yourself in a place where you are ready to start a new relationship. So the next time you are in a situation where someone is putting in little to no effort into their relationship with you, that is your cue to back off and lose interest because this person is not meeting your standards and/or ultimately giving you the validation that you are deserving of.

What to Do When Someone Is Pulling Away And How to Prevent This From Happening In the First Place

When you form a positive connection with someone, it is natural to want to spend as much of your time with this person to further establish a stronger bond. While this is a good feeling to have from the get go–it is still important to consciously PACE the relationship and to fight the urge of wanting to give all your attention to this person. Why? For starters, by giving all your attention too soon, it shows a high level of emotional dependency when you do not even know the person all too well yet. This for some is not only overwhelming but also could turn someone off altogether if they sense that the other person is too clingy too soon. As a result, the connection can end as fast as it seemingly progressed at the beginning or you can find that the other person is drifting away from you altogether.

The best way to prevent someone from ghosting or pulling away as I mentioned above is to remember to always PACE the speed in which your relationship develops. In other words, don’t invest yourself entirely and take your time in getting to know someone. Even if it appears that the other person is moving fast, it is up to you to be in control of the situation and continue to pace the relationship. For example, if the person is in the habit of calling you everyday, you are not obligated to pick up the call 100% of the time because you are entitled to be busy and live your life away from your this person. You should not be consistently waiting by the phone and you should also be able to resist from time to time. You can always call the person back at a time that works for you. If you find that you are already developing an emotional dependency, this is where you need to examine deep from within and figure out ways to consciously break this pattern. This not only is an unhealthy way to form any relationship but it definitely creates a LACK OF ATTRACTION over time. Why? When you are too giving of yourself, the other person tends to take you for granted and not find you as interesting because they already know everything about you without having to put in too much of their own effort. Women in particular tend to treat men like boyfriends when they haven’t even established there is a committed relationship by doing things such as cooking for them, doing their chores, and essentially become their doormat. This is NEVER attractive to either gender might I add. No one wants to be with a doormat because deep down, these people tend to have lower standards, low self worth, and are exceptionally clingy. Unless you have two people who are equally clingy by nature, then there is a shot but the average person tends to get sick of being with someone who is too clingy. Maybe the overly kind gestures and demonstrations of love are APPRECIATED but appreciation and love and two different things in my opinion. You can appreciate someone very much but never fall in love with the person. As I point out all the time, you cannot love someone into falling in love with you. That’s just not how the process works! Maybe in fairytales and romance novels but not in real life.

If you notice someone is starting to pull away, it is natural to want to chase or approach the person to find out what’s wrong but you should always fight this inclination. You should pull away as well and/or do nothing about it. It is better to mirror their behavior and back off as well because by doing so, their behavior will be very telling. If the person goes out of their way to stay in contact by keeping the connection going, then this person most likely still has an interest. If you notice the person continues to create space by pulling away from you, then it is obvious that this person is not all too interested in which you have your answer and can begin to move on as well. While oftentimes, I feel that talking things out is best for gaining clarity, sometimes the signs are in front of your face and it is just a matter of picking up the signs as they come along with examining the other person’s actions.

Is It Worth Emotionally Investing In Someone Who Has Trust Issues?

Sometimes you will encounter someone who flat out expresses that they have trust issues or you will notice that the person is very guarded where it is hard to really connect with them. It is important to keep in mind that some people will use this as an excuse or a way to further deter developing a connection from moving forward with you rather than expressing there is a lack of interest. If a person legitimately has trust issues, the important thing to do first is to examine the cause of this–if possible. Topics can include discussing the person’s childhood or if they have previously been in relationships where there was a lack of trust and/or they were betrayed. This will not only give you a better understanding but also give you more clarity in regards to whether or not you can further develop a serious relationship with this person over time.

Another thing to consider is that if someone has a lot of trust issues, this could be a sign that they cannot be trusted either. For example, if you meet someone who constantly is accusing you of cheating when there is no rational reason behind it, it could be because this person has a history of this (or on the other hand, as I mentioned previously, that they have experienced being cheated on and now are extra paranoid it could happen again). If this is the case where their trust issues stem from the fact that they are guilty of doing things that are distrustful, then it is clear that this is not the type of person you should emotionally invest in.

Some people are also naturally more guarded than others where they just do not trust people immediately and need to take extra time in getting to know someone in order to feel close and to build trust. In these types of scenarios, this is okay and just requires extra patience on your part. If you feel that there is both a genuine and mutual connection between the two of you–where progress is being made as you continue to spend more quality time together, then it is worth sticking around to see where things go and to continue to emotional invest. It is important to sense that there is movement in a relationship where it is going places as opposed to staying stagnant. If you feel that the other person still has their guard up and it has been challenging for them to open up with you, it might be best to move on and pursue a healthy relationship where you can both build trust together.

The Smart Way for Women to Determine Their Relationship Status Without Having to Ask – (It’s Not What You Think)

In the dating world, I would say women often find themselves in situations where they are casually dating a man who they really like and while he may be giving all the signs that he is interested, there is one crucial gray area that is left uncertain–Are you both exclusively dating aka in a committed relationship? When a woman finds herself uncertain, it is natural that after a certain amount of time, she has “the talk” with the guy to see if they are on the same page and whether or not this “relationship” (in quotes because it is not confirmed just yet if it is a real relationship or not) has a future. While there is nothing wrong with wondering and wanting to have this conversation with a man, more often than not, if you are left in total confusion despite the so-called positive signs, there is a huge chance that the answer is NO. Reason being, when you are with the right person, things naturally progress as time goes on and there should not be any uncertainty in terms of where you stand in a man’s life. If you are dating a man who puts you in a mental state where you actually have to confront him and ask, then this is probably NOT the man for you. If you still believe that there is a chance and it is worth pursuing “the talk,” just be prepared that the outcome could go either way. If you are okay with potentially setting yourself up for total rejection, then by all means ask–even though it is already pretty predictable that the answer is probably going to be a no already. So instead of ASKING for clarification, there are much better ways to go about getting answers without coming off as needy and emotionally dependent on the man to validate that this very well is a serious relationship. The question is, how?

You need to put yourself in a dating situation where the MAN has to ask YOU what the status is and he is left to wonder, “Does this girl like me and want to pursue a relationship with me?” Your perception is everything so if you believe that a man should be asking you these questions instead of you being the one to have to ask, then you need to take the right actions in order to essentially FLIP THE TABLE on the guy where he is pursuing you while also being left wondering if you will commit to him. There are actually many things you can proactively do in order to create this dating scenario.

Date Multiple People at the Same Time – When a woman meets someone new and who she really likes, she tends to put all her eggs in one basket and dates this guy exclusively by giving him girlfriend privileges without establishing that she is even in a relationship with this guy. As far as I am concerned, if you are casually dating and there are no labels or discussions about a future, consider yourself SINGLE. Seriously. It is better to NOT assume that you are in a committed relationship with this guy, despite how much you like him and to go about your daily life which could include meeting up with other men. This is not cheating if you are only dating casually because for all you know, he could be doing the same thing too. There is nothing wrong with keeping your options OPEN ladies! It is best to date around which gives you the upper hand in your dating life and to also see who really is left standing at the end. The right person is going to want to commit to you at the end of the day and remember that this could take time so just be patient with the process and create an abundant dating life for yourself for the time being. This way, you are not left dwelling on the one man who might not even be so serious about you to begin with.

Don’t Be So Available – I see it all the time where women give so much of their time and literally jump through hoops for a man’s attention. For example, just because a guy calls you at a certain time everyday does not mean you are obligated to take the call 100% of the time. This is a huge mistake in my opinion. I understand that it is good to keep the connection going but by always being by the phone signals to the man that you are always ready to take his calls at the drop of a hat and you might not have much of a life which is not all too attractive. Generally speaking, being TOO giving, especially in the very beginning oftentimes has the OPPOSITE effect in the long run. Why? It conveys emotional neediness, dependency issues, and potentially a lack of self love. I say that because there should be a relatively equal give and take within a relationship as opposed to someone giving up all their time and energy so easily and so soon. A woman who lacks self love will often make a ton of sacrifices even if that means sacrificing their own best interests just to keep the man in the picture. This is not a good habit and something to be mindful of! If you are busy, it is okay to express that because the guy should be understanding of your time and know that you will eventually get back to him when you are available again. This also establishes healthy boundaries from the start which is a good thing.

Less is Always MoreThe less you do, the more you gain! Ladies, please trust me on this basic principle even if it sounds counterintuintive! Let me give you an example. Have you ever noticed that the men whom you have very little interest in or perhaps a pesky ex who does not get the hint that it is over will chase you constantly when you are not even responding or doing a thing to show that you are interested? They keep persisting even though in many cases, you want nothing to do with them? There is a reason for this. By ignoring them, it is creating a motivating force from within to pursue you even more and to work even harder to gain any ounce of your time and validation. It is for this reason that you should apply this same principle to the actual people who you DO like. I am not saying to outright ignore the guy at all times but what I am saying is to not go out of your way to be the first one to text how his day is going or to form a connection. Again, you need to leave HIM wondering what you are up to. Don’t be scared that if there are long gaps of space between your interactions, then he will forget about you–quite the contrary. If he is interested, he will be thinking about you even more and will probably go out of his way to keep the connection going–which is a good sign. If you notice that he continues to reduce his level of contact as time goes on, then you have your answer and can happily move on. Remember that when someone is genuinely interested, providing space is not going to deter the person from pursuing, it will actually do the opposite by keeping the attraction up and propelling the person to take action in order to fill the gaps.

5 Tips for Choosing the Best Photos For an Online Dating Profile

When it comes to online dating, there is no denying that people are going to scroll through your photos and base their decision on whether or not you appear to be a good match simply just by looking at your photos. Some people won’t even take the time to read your content so that is why you should put some effort in choosing the best photos that not only highlight your best features but also convey what you are like in real life. It can be hard to determine which photos are best but here are some helpful tips to help you put your best face forward so to speak if you decide to pursue online dating.

Make Sure Your Photos are Current – I personally believe that people should only post photos of themselves from the past six months. When I used to have a dating profile, I made sure everything fell within the six month mark because the best representation of yourself is your current self. How often have you or have you met someone that said that they went on a date with someone who looked nothing like their photos or that their photos looked like they were taken as far as a decade ago? I understand most people tend to look their best in their younger years but it is always best to display images that are recent so that if you ever do end up meeting in person, you are still recognizable from the photos that you shared.

Feature a Mix of Face and Full Body Photos – Although it might go without saying, many people often fail to showcase photos of themselves that include both their face and their full body. I think it is important to show both to convey transparency and so that people have a better sense of how you look if you were to meet up in person. If you are not in as good shape as you used to be, it is still better to show what you look like now than before so that the other person does not feel that you falsely advertised what you look like.

Choose Photos that Convey Your Interests – It is a good idea to post photos with backgrounds to show your interests and passions in life. For example, if you love to ski, then think about posting some photos of yourself during your last ski trip. If you love music, it doesn’t hurt to post photos of yourself from a concert that you went to. Chances are, someone with the same interests will be more intrigued in getting to know you better just based upon some of your shared interests.

Avoid Overly Revealing Photos – It is common to see people post revealing photos which can give off the wrong impression along with sending the wrong message to anyone who is looking at them. It can convey that a person is attention seeking or just looking for a cheap hook up. Even if that’s not the case, unfortunately, that’s how it can be interpreted. To avoid sending mixed messages or giving off a negative first impression, it is much wiser to shy away from posting those types of photos in its entirety.

When in Doubt, Ask For a Second Opinion – If you are unsure if the photos that you are posting are good enough to post, it does not hurt to ask a friend or someone who you are close to for their honest feedback. A photo that you might find flattering, someone might point out that you can post an even better photo which is why it never hurts to ask for a second opinion.

Dating Advice for Men – Build Intimacy and Invest Emotionally at the Same Time

Last week, I wrote an article for women with some dating advice and decided to follow up this week with a dating advice blog for men. While certain advice applies to both genders, there is certain advice that is gender specific. I wrote previously about how women are motivated by relationships that lead to marriage; however, with men–it is safe to say that most men are motivated to connect with women on a physical level. There is nothing wrong with that but what creates a divide is when men rush that phase of the process and/or fail to focus on the emotional connection as well. Most women do not want to be objectified by men or feel as though that men are only looking to hook up with them. Many men make the mistake of coming on too strong physically whether that is with their actions or their words. This can easily turn off a woman in its entirety or she will just come to the conclusion that the guy is not a serious guy along with labeling him as a waste of her time and moving on to a better catch.

This leads to a very important question: How do men avoid this from happening and become the ultimate catch in the eyes of the woman of their interest? First and foremost, as I want to point out from the start, it is essential to actually BE A CATCH! From there, men can work on certain skills to improve their dating lives because as we all know–good looks, success, money, assets, etc. are never enough if a man does not know how to treat a woman. Men need to learn to also be patient with the process like women but for different reasons. They need to build intimacy slowly (in other words, do not rush the pace of their physical relationship) AND invest emotionally at the same time. It is possible to create genuine intimacy through physical touch such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing, hugging, etc. WITHOUT sex being involved. I truly believe that intimacy is the key to creating natural attraction and developing an attachment between two people which ultimately can lead to both a long term relationship and an incredibly satisfying physical one as well over time when it is supposed to. While I tell women not to rush into serious relationships, the same goes for men to stop rushing into a physical relationship with a woman without taking the proper time that is needed to actually get to know her and to bond with her by establishing a deep emotional connection first.

If you authentically like a woman and are pursuing her for the right reasons, it is important to SHOW her this by being consistent in your efforts when emotionally investing in her while building intimacy without pushing the envelope when it comes to having a physical relationship with her right away. This also creates trust and will make her feel more comfortable with you when she is ready to take the relationship to the next level. Even if she is open to exploring a physical relationship with you after a short time of knowing you, I still recommend denying her of sex to make it clear that you are not interested in her for a casual relationship and that you want to continue to better get to know each other first. In return, this will also earn more of her RESPECT towards you and most likely make her feel even more attracted to you (yes, it is amazing how reverse psychology often works as it does here). As always, remember to TRUST THE PROCESS because anything worth your while will take time so you might as well enjoy it while continuing to stay confident in your abilities to manifest your desires!

Dating Advice for Women – Stop Rushing Into Serious Relationships and Here’s Why

As a woman, I understand that most of us cherish being in a long term relationship that will hopefully lead into a solid marriage and perhaps the opportunity to create a family in the future. I am not against this desire and I believe that if this is something that a woman wants to manifest into her life, then she should hold onto this vision and not give up until she makes it a reality. However, the way a woman approaches this can vary and oftentimes I see women rush into serious relationships as soon as possible which usually ends up either scaring the man away or she ends up settling on being with the wrong man because she was on an agenda to lock someone into a permanent relationship as soon as she can.

My best advice for women is to simply, TRUST THE PROCESS and to take things slow. People in general need to learn to trust the process when it comes to just about everything in life including personal relationships. When you trust that you will manifest what you want in the right time in your life, you are left feeling confident within your soul and you banish any anxiety or stress related to your goals because you know that your desires are on the way and will be delivered to you. I find that many women put themselves into a scarcity mindset where they panic if they do not find a husband by a certain age or they have this mentality that they will never find the right man for them at the time that they want which is usually right now. The key is PATIENCE paired with a POSITIVE outlook and focusing on embracing the PRESENT moment as opposed to obsessing over the future and/or in certain situations, dwelling on a failed past which will also hinder someone from the long term relationship that they are looking for.

It is human nature to strive for instant gratification but it is much more rewarding to not only trust the process but to enjoy the process as you are experiencing it! Rather than rush into a serious relationship the moment you find a man that you like or question if you are going to be a part of his future, it is much wiser to enjoy getting to know the man on every level and to determine if there is a MUTUAL CONNECTION first and foremost. If there is a genuine connection where you both feel the same way about each other, the sky is the limit when it comes to how bright your futures will be together. There will be zero uncertainty, you won’t be left feeling uneasy and having to question his every move, and everything will just flow naturally in the right direction.

There is no need to force relationships upon men or to get overly emotional over anyone that is not deserving of your love. This is why you also need to pace the relationship and let the man earn your affections. The question should not be, “Does he see me in his future?” It should actually be along the lines of, “Is this man worthy enough to be a part of my future?” There is a huge difference between those two questions. The first one comes from a weak mindset where the underlying question is, “Am I good enough?” whereas the other question is from a strong minded female essentially asking, “Is he good enough for me?” Women of high value already know what they bring to the table and already know that they are good enough. They also are not willing to settle on just any man who walks into their lives and take the proper time that is needed to examine them from the inside out to make sure that they are qualified enough to stay in their future. As a woman, it is important to always stay true to the core of your values, know your worth (the right man will know it from the get go and want to invest in you from the start, trust me), and to NEVER settle on a man just for the sake of having one. Although life is short, there is no need to rush your relationships because what is meant to be–will BE! If you are casually dating, take your time in getting to know people and do not overly invest in one person until you both establish that you are on the same page. If you are currently single, in the meantime, relax and just continue to enjoy that fabulous life of yours. If someone is worthy enough to join you, that’s great but if not, your life is still fabulous no matter what! 😉

Can Open Relationships Work?

The concept of an “open relationship” on the surface comes off as an oxymoron to me. When I think of the word relationship, I associate that to entail commitment, loyalty, and togetherness. If you are in a healthy relationship, I would imagine that means that two people are mutually dedicated to each other and the greater good of their relationship. If someone were to propose the idea of having an open relationship–my response would simply be, “Nice knowing you!” In other words, I would terminate the relationship at that point because I look at a relationship as all or nothing. If someone is not going to choose to only be with me and wants to keep their options open, that is not the relationship for me personally. I just do not see the point of that; however, at the same time, I do not like to judge others who have different viewpoints or expectations within their personal relationships because what works for me might not work for someone else.

If you are casually dating someone and it has not been established that both people are in a committed relationship, then by all means, keeping it “open” is acceptable because it is understood by both parties that the relationship is not a serious one or perhaps both people are taking a slower dating approach just to ensure that the connection is genuinely there. In those types of scenarios, I actually encourage people to keep their dating options open and to not overly invest in one person if it is casual because sometimes you have to explore what’s out there before making a commitment to someone and it is wiser to take your time in getting to know the person rather than rushing into a relationship immediately. Women tend to rush into relationships with the agenda of getting married and having children without actually determining if the man is a compatible match and suited for their future which is why you often see women asking for divorces down the line. This is why I believe it is better to take things slow and to not push for relationships until establishing a strong bond and confirming that the feelings are both mutual.

Now the real question is, if you are in a serious relationship or perhaps even married, can an open relationship work out while keeping the initial relationship in the long run? The simple yet not so simple answer is: Yes and No. Yes–it can absolutely work if you have two people totally on the same page with this arrangement. It is possible that both parties agree with keeping it open. However, it has to be equal where both people want the open relationship and NOT one sided where one person asked the other person for an open relationship and the other person felt obligated and settled on this arrangement against their will or for the sake of saving their current relationship. It also is not equal if one person can be in an open relationship but expects the other person to stay totally committed and are not allowed to pursue the same arrangement. While I think it is rare and often can ultimately create problems down the line for the couple, every relationship is situational in that maybe this can work for some people. Again, it can work when two people are on board with it but if you have people who have mixed feelings in regards to how they feel about having an open relationship, that is when you have trouble in paradise. It is for this reason that the best solution is to avoid this arrangement in its entirety or maybe this is a time to reflect whether or not it is time to break up and/or pursue a new relationship altogether.