Category Archives: Attraction

You Attract What You Believe You Deserve – Why You Need to Set the Bar High at All Times

Whether people realize it or not, many life experiences that we attract were manifested from the core of our beliefs. Someone who is very positive and loves their life often feel that way because they genuinely believe they have an amazing life to live. Their life isn’t exceptional by chance or because this person was more lucky than someone else. They recognize that they have the capacity to create their own luck by naturally gravitating towards the things that they love along with developing a “sky’s the limit” mindset in which anything they want is within their reach. Even people who were not born into the most ideal life situations have the power to change their destiny and still work towards living a grand life. Often times, you will actually see that the people who experienced much misfortune in their youth end up being the most determined and successful people out in the world. One might wonder, how is it possible to make a dramatically positive switch in life when it was so bad to begin with? As I point out, time and time again, it really starts with your mind first. Not mine (and not anyone else’s) because as much as I can preach this to you, if you do not actually take it seriously, then it will never hold any value or meaning.

It is for this reason that you need to set the bar high at all times. No matter what your current situation is or how unrealistic at the moment it is to ask for what you’re asking for, it is important to believe that you are capable of obtaining it in order to begin the process of manifesting it. When you believe you deserve the very best, you keep attracting the very best and in abundance. There really is no such thing as setting the bar too high in my book! Even if it appears to be far fetched right now, that does not mean it can never happen. Why? The reason being that your beliefs shift your focus into making this a reality. Let’s repeat that: Your beliefs shift your focus into making this a reality.

The same also applies to your personal relationships. If you set the bar high in this department and are crystal clear as to the relationship that you want to be in, trust me–you will not be settling for the players, manipulators, etc. because not only is it transparent that they bring nothing to the table but you also believe you deserve the very best when love is concerned. You are not giving your heart out to just anyone, nor why should you? Setting the bar high in your personal life might mean that you are left single for quite awhile but just remember that it is for the greater good and there is certainly nothing wrong with not wanting to settle. Not to mention that some of the greatest things in life are always worth waiting for.

Gratitude is the Right Attitude – 5 Quotes to Keep Your Spirits Up

In celebration of Thanksgiving, I thought it would be best to keep up the theme of gratitude for the day although it is important that it is practiced on a daily basis. I found some great quotes to share that will keep your spirits up and help your mind stay focused on gratitude because we all know that gratitude is the right attitude! 😉

“Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast.” – Melody Beattie

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” – Eckhart Tolle

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is to not utter the words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy

“The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see.” – Robert Holden

“The more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased. That’s because – for sure – what you focus on expands. When you focus on the goodness in your life, your life expands.” – Oprah Winfrey

[Happy Thanksgiving! Just a quick end note to thank everyone for reading my blog! I appreciate all of my readers and getting the opportunity to share my positivity with you all!]

Complacency Kills Attraction – 5 Ways to Prevent This From Happening

There are many factors as to why a relationship might come to an end but I think a very common one is complacency in which two people do not do put much effort to keep the relationship strong and healthy. With anything in life, what you invest your energy towards is what you will receive in return. I do believe it takes both people to want to make it work. Having one person giving everything while the other person doesn’t do anything will build resentment and ultimately break the foundation of any relationship because 50% (the one person’s effort) is never enough. As the common saying goes, it takes two to tango.

Designate Specific Times to be Together – When two people live very busy lives balancing their careers and families, it is easy for date nights and quality time to go completely out the window. However, if two people make an effort to find designated times a week or within the month to be together, this can definitely keep the connection going while giving both people something to look forward to.

Find Little Ways to Make Someone Happy – People know how to do nice things on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays but why do people have to wait for these milestones to hit in order to express love towards one another? If you take the time to truly understand your partner, it should be rather easy to find ways to make the person happy in the most simplest ways. It does not have to be about how much money is spent, it could be a small gesture like sending lunch to their work for no reason or maybe giving the person a massage after a long work day if that is something they enjoy.

Give Each Other Space to Rebuild Attraction – I know this sounds counterintuitive but there is such a thing as spending too much time with each other. No matter who it is, over time, one if not both people are bound to get bored of each other if too much time is spent together. It is good to still keep some personal space and have individual activities you do without each other so that the actual time you do spend together holds more value.

Make Sacrifices for the Greater Good of the Relationship – Every couple has their differences which can cause problems to arise over time; however, it is important to be the bigger person and make sacrifices for the other person if it is going to bring you both closer in the long run. If this also means finding ways to take turns with each other’s personal preferences such as the types of movies/TV shows you watch, then it is important to do so to allow for both people to feel that their needs are equally being met.

Try New Activities and Discover New Places Together – Variety really is the spice in life and this goes for adding variety in your daily life, especially with your partner. You both might have established some favorite places and activities that you both enjoy together such as a favorite vacation spot but it is always good to expand your horizons by incorporating new things together.

The Truth About Fate – A Good Quote to Think About

During my teenage years, one of my favorite movies was, Can’t Hardly Wait. It was your typical late 90s teenage romantic comedy that included an all star cast–some who were just starting off their careers and most of the movie took place at a graduation party. It is hard to believe that anything deeply profound could ever rise upon the surface from a movie of this nature; however, there was a quote from the movie that stuck with me from the first time I saw the movie and when I think about it now, it still applies.

In my high school yearbook where I had the opportunity to utilize this space with a short message on the same page as my senior photo, I actually included this quote within my caption because it was something that I believed in and held meaning.

There is fate, but it only takes you so far, because once you’re there it’s up to you to make it happen.”

Can’t Hardly Wait

I do believe fate exists and that everything in our lifetimes happens for a reason. However, I do also very much believe that we have control of our fate and our destiny. Every little thought, decision, and move we make guides our fate. Ultimately, it is up to us to make it happen. We all have the power to do that in which it starts with our minds and then is executed by our actions.

A Setback is Actually Life’s Way of Creating a Set Up

Have you ever encountered what appeared to be a setback in your life? You might not have gotten a job you wanted or an opportunity that you were striving for at the current moment. While many might experience feelings of frustration, negativity, sadness, or even anger–this is a time to stay positive and shift your mindset to the idea that a better opportunity will be knocking on your door at a later time and when the time is right for you. In order for this to happen though, the key is that you need to actually believe in this! You need to understand that the Universe is full of abundance and when one door closes (or in this case never opened), that there are plenty of open doors on the horizon (whoever said there can only be one 😉 –there is no need to limit yourself).

I know in the present moment, it can be hard to think and feel this way. You might feel a deep sense of emptiness which is normal and it is totally justified to feel that way but it is up to you to hold those feelings only temporarily. Meaning that they will eventually go away and that you cannot allow them to stay permanently because then you will continue to cloud your mind with more negativity and mental setbacks to prevent you from manifesting life’s many set ups that are in store for you. So let’s trust the Universe and stay positive in order to keep the doors open for more setups to come, shall we? 🙂 🙂 🙂

“I Want to Take Things Slow” – What is the Translation?

When dating, the way in which the relationship is paced can vary depending on various factors such as the comfort level of the individual and what the ultimate relationship goals are. Sometimes a person will flat out declare, “I want to take things slow.” I think this can be interpreted in one of many ways and there is not exactly one definitive answer as to what this means. There are certain instances it is apparent the reasoning while other times, you just need to be patient to better understand the other person’s point of view, especially if there is not much clarity to back it up.

Not Fully Out of Last Relationship – If there are any loose ends from their last relationship or a person has not mentally recovered from the outcome of their last relationship, it can be expected that the person will want to move at a slower pace before getting too deep into the next relationship they pursue.

Fear of Commitment – Not everyone is able to fully commit to someone or are in a place in their life where they want that at the present moment. Typically if someone is not interested in a commitment, it is just easier to say they ‘want to take it slow’ than to completely spell out their true intentions–especially if this puts them at risk that the other person won’t want to stay unless there is a commitment. Keep in mind, if the reason stems from a fear of commitment or simply not wanting to commit to you, the person might never be ready or it could take an extended period of time.

Not Wanting to Be Vulnerable – It can take certain people a very long time to open up to another person. In addition, some prefer to protect their feelings out of the fear of getting rejected or abandoned in the long run. So rather than emotionally connecting to the person they are dating, to protect oneself from potentially getting hurt, the person will tend to be more guarded when proceeding with any relationship.

Multiple Options – When someone has multiple options, there is no need to really progress any of their personal relationships on a fast track because they want to compare all of their options and see which person is the best match out of all the options on hand. They might also enjoy dating multiple people or not be looking for anything serious in which none of their options will end up turning into serious leads.

Setting Boundaries – It is important to set boundaries in any relationship and sometimes this is said to do exactly that. By making this statement, it signifies to the other person to not ask for too much too soon while also putting a slight psychological wall up. It might just take some time for them to feel comfortable around you and for their boundaries to slowly come down.

Moving Too Fast Too Soon – Maybe the style in which the relationship started moved at a much quicker pace than they were ready for or perhaps their previous relationship moved too fast in which they are more consciously aware that they want to slow things down and pump the brakes a little bit.

Interest Level is Uncertain – If someone is unsure where they stand with their feelings towards someone, it makes sense to want to take things slow. It does not mean the person does not like you, their level of interest just might not have reached an intense level where they are 100% all in. Attraction is not always an instant spark but often times can be a slow build between two people which could very well have started out as friends and potentially lead into something deeper over time.

Very Focused on Career/Goals – People who are extremely focused on their careers, school, and other life goals typically do not prioritize their personal relationships. This is not to say they do not have an interest in pursuing one, it just means the person has many obligations which can prevent them from giving as much as they can within a relationship so it is to their advantage “to take things slow” so they can still stay focused on their goals while exploring the idea of building a new relationship.

One Day at a Time Approach – Some people approach just about all their relationships and many other areas of their lives on a day-by-day basis. There is nothing wrong with that as some people just need more time before really transitioning the relationship into a more serious one. This is the play it safe route and applies to someone who pursues most things with caution and mindfulness.

There are many reasons why people may want to take things at a slower rate which might feel like a negative thing initially but it does not necessarily have to translate this way. It really comes down to the personality, past relationship experience, life goals, dating preferences, and other individual factors that can dictate the pace in which they want their relationship to unfold. Some people like to move at a slower rate while others move more quickly but at the end of the day, you need to be respectful towards the needs of the other person while also keeping in mind what you are truly looking for. If you find things are not progressing at the rate you feel comfortable with, you can choose to be patient or to move on altogether.

Why Do Some People Have Types While Others Don’t? / Do You Still Have a Chance if You are Not Someone’s Type?

Most people consciously or unconsciously have a “type” although this might not be the case for everyone. For those who do not have a type, this could be due to the fact that the person lacks dating experience, does not have preset preferences, or possesses an open minded mindset when dating. Some people truly just do not know what they are looking for so they do not have a preconceived notion of the type of person they want to be with. Others might not be too picky because they lack an abundance mindset and think more along the lines of, “Beggars can’t be choosers” meaning having a type just does not even exist in their mind because they believe their options are limited to begin with.

Although by type, this is often looks based, this could also include other criteria involved such as education, profession, etc. Those who have a set type can have one for numerous reasons. For one, the person might associate certain traits with a certain look. A woman might be attracted to an older man not based on his looks necessarily but because she associates an older man to be more established, financially stable, and to be a provider which might be all things she highly values in a partner.

Another consideration is when someone has a failed relationship, it is quite common to see the person choose the same type, whether they realize it or proactively choose to. This could occur because they are not fully over their ex and there were certain characteristics or a look that this person had in which they want to recreate that again in their future dating life. This would mean by default, they end up choosing someone who can look very similar to someone who they previously dated.

Furthermore, a type often is developed during a person’s childhood and within the environment they grew up in. This can happen in one of two ways. There could be a certain look that a person might not have been exposed to as often growing up which actually piques their interest due to scarcity which in turn makes this type more valuable in the eyes of the beholder OR the opposite where a certain type they were overly exposed to or had positive experiences with could be their type because they just naturally feel comfortable around them.

There are also certain people who are laser focused on what they want in life and know what they are looking for. This category typically has a specific type in their mind so until they find someone who fits the mold, they will not be too interested in those who are not their “type.”

So what does this mean if you are not exactly someone’s type? Does this mean you do not have a chance with this person? The answer is no! If you understand what it is about their type that they most value, have some understanding of their love map, and a good amount of patience, then you can still attract this person into your life and perhaps make them fall completely in love with you. As specific as someone might be about what they are looking for, you would be amazed how often the person can still equally fall for someone who is not their type whatsoever. I see it happen all the time and it has even happened to me. This is because love [often times] is not a rational choice so never think you do not have a chance with someone if you’re not someone who they would normally go for because you might very well be able to prove them otherwise. 😉

You Need to Be A Catch Before You Can Catch the Best Fish

I was having a conversation with someone who needed some advice about dating and was not having much luck with it. I think the dating world can be a tough place to be in, I understand that but if you find that you are consistently unlucky in terms of finding matches or people who want to date you, then a different approach is needed. The main focus should be on yourself and what makes you a desirable person. I think often times many people set very high standards for the type of person they want to be with and can be very picky in terms of who they want to date. That is great to know what you are looking for and setting the bar; however, are you also setting the bar that high for yourself? If the question is no, then how can one expect to attract the best matches or any match to begin with?

I come across this quite often when people tell me that they cannot really meet someone and it is very obvious the reason. The harsh reality is this: The person does not have much to offer. There could be one or many contributing factors that lead me to that conclusion such as a lack of self care, unhealthy habits, no clear career path, money problems, lack of self love, etc. In order to be ready for the dating world, wouldn’t one want to be able to offer their best version of themselves to the world? The first step is to become that best version of self because in the process of doing so, I can guarantee that you will automatically without putting any effort into impressing someone else attract someone who would want to pursue you. That essentially is how the law of attraction works. You put in the right positive energy (in this case, investing in yourself) and you attract that positive energy back your way.

At the end of the day, you need to be a catch before you can catch the best fish. 😉 This does not just apply to dating, this can apply to anything such as landing a job or receiving a promotion. You really need to focus on being a catch first and everything else will follow. You will be able to catch the best fish and by this I mean opportunities simply by putting in the work necessary to be best version of yourself. You also have to really want this for yourself before you focus on wanting to be with someone else. That should always be your first priority.

What is a Love Map? – Understanding How It Can Influence Your Relationship Partner Choices

I think the concept of a love map is rather interesting and really would explain why people gravitate towards the people they choose to date or the people they form a crush on. I would describe a love map as a personalized criteria of what a person is looking for in a mate that is heavily influenced by childhood experiences, their environment, and the overall needs needed to provide them fulfillment within a relationship (often times, this includes their psychological unmet needs).

Do you ever notice that you might have a specific type look wise or there are certain types of people you automatically would never date even if they put their very best efforts to woo you? You might also be faced with situations that you are attracted to someone who you never thought you would date based on the surface but somehow you manage to completely fall in love with that person. The reason why you cannot always put your finger on it is because we all have our own love map that guides us to that final destination–in this case to the person we ideally want to be with as they fulfill most of the items on our love maps. I often times bring up the conscious vs. subconscious mind in which the love map is developed within your subconscious mind even though you might have a conscious list of things you look for in a partner.

When relating this to your childhood, the bond you have with your parents, especially your opposite gender parent (whether positive or negative) really can serve as a contributing factor in what will make up items on your love map. For example, when I look at my own childhood, I had a stay at home father who was very attentive to my all my needs, especially my emotional needs. Now on a conscious level, I would not say that I am looking for a man who wants to be a stay at home dad. On a conscious level, I would say I want to be with a man who is career driven; however, on a deep subconscious level, the truth of the matter is that I really do gravitate towards men with a very caring demeanor (like my father) who often times do NOT end up being career driven, and are very sweet with a big heart. Being that this was an environmental factor that I was exposed to growing up, this very much explains why I often times always end up with someone who is more on the softer side and more of an emotionally in tuned individual because my childhood experience shaped my belief to value this quality which ultimately became a quality on my love map. I might say I am proactively looking for one thing (in this case, someone who I label as career driven) but what ultimately controls the choice I make is based on my personal love map which has already been created and stored away in my subconscious mind. This is not to say you cannot have someone who possesses both these qualities, I am just pointing out what outweighs the other when both are presented to you. Often times, your love map cannot be altered as many of the things that are on it really developed subconsciously at such a young age as you’re growing up and transitioning into adulthood.

The love map is a great tool to be mindful of when you are in the dating world and in the process of getting to know someone else. It is probably a bit too bold and forward to flat out ask someone, “So what exactly is on your love map?” as many would not even know what that is or have a concrete answer to it; however when getting to know someone, if you really examine their childhood and environment growing up, it can help you better understand what they prioritize in a meaningful relationship and life partner. Knowing this information can help you determine if you are the right fit for them as they are for you but keep in mind that you do not have the power to change the other person’s love map while also keeping in mind that if you personally do not have the majority of the items on their love map, chances are this will not change over time and the person will not have the capacity to form a deep attachment to you.

The Power of Affirmations – Why They Work on Some and Not Others and How to Make Them Work for You

Often times people associate affirmations with the law of attraction or as a way to set goals. I believe affirmations can be very effective when used properly. An affirmation is a firm positive statement that should be written in the present tense as though you are currently experiencing it and in a first person point of view. The best way to utilize affirmations is to repeat them on a daily basis and I even strongly suggest writing them down on index cards so you can read them whenever you want on a daily basis.

There are many benefits to writing positive affirmations and they are indeed very powerful. Here is a list of reasons why they can enhance your life and bring you closer to everything you desire:

– Affirmations keep you laser focused on the things you want. The more your mind focuses on something, the more it will find ways to achieve the desired outcome. People have to understand that this is not an overnight process but if you constantly are thinking about what you want, you will be taking those steps to get there.

– The subconscious mind is said to be more powerful than your conscious mind. Knowing this, feeding your subconscious mind with affirmations along with images of the things you want will program your subconscious mind towards success, confidence, and overall a stronger mindset that will help you obtain your deepest desires.

– Positive affirmations are meant to keep you in a positive state of mind! It is easy to have negative thoughts every so often but when you make a conscious effort to stay positive through the use of positive affirmations, you are eliminating those bad thoughts that might be preventing you from reaching your goals.

So why exactly do affirmations not work on everyone? The problem is, if you have mental road blocks and reasons in your mind that your positive affirmation statements are not valid or accurate, then repeating these positive statements are never going to sink into your subconscious mind. For example, if you truly believe that you put on weight easily from everything you eat, then an affirmation stating that you are happy being healthier and at your ideal weight is never really going to manifest. You have two very conflicting thoughts going on simultaneously and the one that you actually believe in (in this case the negative one) is going to overpower your efforts to stay healthy and fit. When writing your affirmations, you need to focus on what you WANT and not what you don’t want. If you write something along the lines of, “I do not want to gain weight,” even though that is an accurate statement, it is not really written in a positive way. Instead if you were to write, “I am in love with my sexy, fit, and healthy body” then your subconscious mind is under the belief that you possess a healthy body, NOT that you ‘do not want to gain weight’ which means that you are unfit because you are telling yourself you are this way. Do you see the difference between these two thoughts?

How can you maximize the results of positive affirmations so they work for you? For starters, you really need to dig deep and think about exactly everything you want at the present moment. It is okay and highly recommended that you think big even if it is so far from your current reality. Now write everything down and include as many specific details as possible. After you write your ideas, now craft them into positive affirmation statements. As I mentioned, I like writing them on index cards and/or keeping them in a journal as well. I personally like to write the date that I wrote the affirmations on the card so I remember when I wrote them and I can then assess how long it took me to manifest my goal. For the positive affirmations that are specific goals, I do like to assign deadlines however; I do not assign exact timelines for everything as certain affirmations are ongoing and ones I carry throughout my lifetime (such as health related affirmations). The key is to now repeat them on a daily basis. It is recommended that they are repeated when you wake up and when you go to bed. Personally, I only like to read them before bed but I advise the more often you read them, the better because then your mind is constantly focused on them. I look at it like this, positive affirmations are like vitamins–you take them every day and in this case, they are meant to help make your mental wellbeing become healthier and stronger over time.

Final Note: Did you know that Jim Carrey back in 1985 wrote himself a 10 million dollar check for acting services that was dated for 1995 in which he kept in his wallet? Can you guess what happened 10 years later by 1995? By November 1995, he got casted for “Dumb and Dumber” for the amount of 10 million dollars. Coincidence? I think NOT.

My point at the end of all of this is, in order for your positive affirmations to work for you, you need to believe it 100% and repeat them constantly!!! Get rid of your negative thoughts and anything that could be deterring you from the big picture–the life of your dreams! You deserve it! Now go manifest it! 😉