Category Archives: Attraction

Self Love Will Always Guide You in the Right Direction in Life

One of the many themes of my blog is the concept of “self love.” I don’t want this to be confused with narcissism because that is something I never encourage but self love is something that everyone should really proactively be trying to build an abundance of. Having a high level of self love develops not only your overall self esteem but also your self worth. When you possess self love and therefore understand your worth, it becomes much easier to make positive life decisions. Besides making better life decisions, you are also elevating your personal standards and heightening your level of respect towards self which are both equally important to your self development.

When people make bad life decisions or ones that are not for the greater good of their own life, the fundamental issue usually stems from their lack of love for self. Think about it, if you love yourself, are you going to choose to be with someone who cheats on you, abandons you, or just generally treats you with disrespect? HECK NO! You better not at least. Why? If you value yourself, you keep your path clear of ever getting into those types of relationships. Once you detect any sign of disrespect, you are up and out because you love yourself enough to know that you are better off being single and happy than to be locked into a toxic relationship that is only bringing your life down.

This applies to all aspects of your life, not just within your personal relationships. Think about your career. Are you going to work for a company where you feel overworked and/or underpaid? Some of you might because you feel the need to in order to survive or don’t believe there are better options (aka a scarcity mindset) but someone with self love is going to make the decision to find another job. Why? This person knows their worth and knows there is something way better out there as opposed to settling on a job that is not fulfilling them both spiritually and financially.

My point is, when you develop a high level of self love, it becomes much easier to make better life decisions because you are always putting yourself first–as you should! There is nothing wrong with that and you are not being selfish for doing so. While of course it is a priority to take care of others such as our family members, friends, and loved ones, please do not ever neglect taking care of yourself. Keep in mind that we also need to take care of ourselves in order to become the best versions of ourselves for the people we care about most.

On a final note, remember that self love will always guide you in the right direction in life by propelling you to make the very best decisions and also know that loving yourself will always lead you to a path of infinite happiness. 🙂 ❤

Do “Nice Guys Finish Last?” – My Advice to Men

There is the common expression that, “nice guys finish last.” Although there might be some truth to this, I don’t believe that this has to be the case for nice men. There is this common misconception that women prefer the so-called bad guys, players, etc. The underlying issue for women who choose these types of men usually stem from either their upbringing (ex: no father figure, poor male role models–aka “daddy issues”) or they on some subconscious level do not believe they are deserving of a good man, more specifically in this case–a nice guy.

My best advice to nice guys is to find a nice girl! There are plenty of nice women out there who are looking for their match and want to be with a nice man. It is up to men to weed out the women who do no respect, love, or treat them like gold. Nice guys will often tolerate bad female behavior and will tend to stick around until they become a doormat to the women who will never supply them with the love that they give so generously. That is why it is essential for a man to know his worth and cut his losses when he is faced with a woman who does not value him. Sadly, you cannot love someone into falling in love with you in return. Usually the opposite will happen where the woman will just be turned off entirely or she may stick around for the wrong reasons.

In addition, there is more to bring to the table in the dating world than just being nice. Women are attracted to nice men but not if these same men have nothing else going on for them other than this attribute. I can’t help but notice that there are many nice men out there who are devoted, committed, loving, and sweet as pie–especially to women; however these are the same men who don’t have a career, steady income, and are living in the basement with mom still. I am not saying ALL nice guys are like this but I do notice a high correlation between nice guys being much less ambitious with little to offer in terms of a lasting relationship with a promising and secure future. This is where men need to work on themselves so that when the right woman comes along, he has more going for him than just being a nice guy. Keep in mind that “working on self” should not be done strictly for increasing value in the dating world but for yourself–with or without a partner. The reason being that by bettering self, you not only will increase your self worth and confidence but you will also radiate an energy that others will naturally find attractive.

5 Ways You Could Be Investing in Yourself Today

I truly believe that the greatest investments are the ones made towards investing in self–whether it be self development or improvement. As wonderful as we build our lives to be, let’s be honest, there is always room for growth and ways to make life even better than it is today. That’s the beauty of life, it is constantly in motion where we are experiencing, creating, learning, and becoming our best versions of self each and every day. This cannot be done unless we make the proactive choice to invest in our selves and thankfully, there are many ways in which we can be doing just that.

Continue to Educate Yourself – Your school days might be long over but that does not mean that learning has to stop forever. There are ways to continue to educate yourself in just about anything so I recommend picking up a self improvement book or taking a course to learn a completely new skill or perhaps improve upon a current skill set. It is never too late pick up a new personal hobby or profession and thanks to places like YouTube, you can also watch videos on just about anything nowadays to learn something new.

Create a Balanced Diet and Exercise Regime – Balance is the key to everything and will most certainly work in your favor when you take the time to invest in your health through both diet and exercise. If you don’t really enjoy working out in a traditional gym, there are still ways you can remain active by finding physical activities you love and staying committed to fitting them into your schedule. In terms of a healthy diet, the best way to really stay on track is to literally track what you eat which will train you to become more conscientious of not only what you are eating but how much you are eating. Remember that it is your personal responsibility to maintain optimal health by making the self investment through both eating well and staying fit.

Expand Your Financial Resources – I labeled this as “expanding your financial resources” because the way in which you go about this can look very different from individual to individual. For one, this could mean working for a big company and working from the bottom up in terms of obtaining a higher position for a company over time. For someone else, it could mean running one or multiple businesses. Another person might go about expanding financial resources by investing in real estate. There are unlimited ways of growing your personal economy in today’s world and this should absolutely be a top priority as a way of possessing financial freedom and security. In addition, by focusing on increasing your wealth, this provides you the opportunity to contribute money towards a retirement fund while also putting money aside for big purchases such as a house, nice car, and/or a dream vacation.

Set Goals and Execute Them – I emphasize goal setting quite often as we should constantly be setting goals for ourselves as a way to create new challenges and to hold ourselves accountable for placing higher expectations upon self. Even if you think you currently have it all, I challenge yourself to dig deeper and to reconsider ways you can still strive for more. Life is much more fulfilling when you are climbing towards achieving bigger goals as opposed to just staying in a state of stagnation.

Build the Right Social Circle – As much as I am for solitude and personal growth, that does not mean that you should ignore spending your time with others. It is important to invest in others who also invest in themselves and are like minded individuals with the same core values as yourself. It is also beneficial to surround yourself with people who are positive, successful, and who ultimately support you. There is no room for holding onto negative, miserable people and those who only bring you down which is why it is essential that you choose the right people to be a part of your social circle.

Life Is Too Short to Not LOVE Your Life – What to Do Today to Lead You On the Right Path

Although life is far from perfection and everyone is going to experience ups and downs throughout the course of their lifetimes, that does not mean that life needs to be spent more in the negative than the positive. Seriously, life is too short to not LOVE your life so rather than settling on mediocrity or living day by day aimlessly, strive to LOVE your life! There are certainly ways to improve your life today and everyday to ensure that you are creating a path of intrinsic happiness and a life you absolutely love living. (Why like your life when you can love it?) 😉 ❤

Know What You Love and Want – Many people don’t think about what they want in life which can often make life lack a sense of direction or have a meaningful purpose. I believe we are all born with unique gifts and passions so it is important to channel into our strengths while also taking the time to pursue the things we enjoy most. By determining what brings joy also helps in providing clarity as to what is desired.

Focus on the Positive – It is incredibly bothersome when you hear people complain about what they don’t have or how their life is miserable when they could actually be investing their energy into being grateful for what they currently do have, setting goals to make life improvements, and possessing a positive mindset. Being positive really goes a long way in life by attracting abundance and creating the things you want most.

Embrace the Good and the Bad – Again, life isn’t perfect and it’s going to throw some curve balls along the way but it is possible to dodge them in its entirety or be prepared in handling them in the best way possible. By that I mean, it is important to understand that sometimes you really need to go through bad times or deal with misfortunes for the greater good which can include learning a valuable lesson or building inner strength. It is easy to embrace all the good things but it’s equally beneficial to embrace the bad because ultimately you are going to rise above it.

Implement the Changes NecessaryHate your job? Change it! Not happy with your current relationship? Maybe it’s time to change that too! We should never be settling on anything simply for the sake of it. If there is something major (or even minor) bringing your life down in any way, build a game plan to CHANGE it! You have to recognize and be conscious of when it is time to change your life even if that means you need to start over or the change is out of your comfort zone because it is better than staying stagnant or unhappy.

Make It Happen – You are in the driver’s seat of your life and have the power to navigate it anywhere you want to go! So it’s up to you to navigate your life in the direction you want by taking action and actually executing everything that you want as opposed to just thinking or dreaming about it. Go out there and make it happen!

Why Playing Hard to Get Does Not Always Work

Many people have heard of the common advice, “play hard to get” when you like someone as this is supposed to increase the other person’s attraction level. Although I would have to agree that this can be effective because it is human nature to want what you do not have, this approach can often be counterintuitive and have zero impact on whether or not someone is going to develop a romantic interest in you in return. Reason being that attraction is not a one size fits all formula and it is unrealistic to expect this tactic or any single tactic to work on every single person. (If only it was that easy, right?) While there is no denying that playing hard to get might provide short term success and work in certain instances; on the other hand, there are reasons as to why this tactic is unsuccessful.

Emotionally Unavailable – Some people are emotionally unavailable where they have too much going on in their personal lives to even be open and receptive to love. Examples of this can include just getting out of a relationship, having unresolved feelings towards an ex, or already possessing a different love interest (that’s not you) which all confirm emotional unavailability. When someone is in this stage in life, it is apparent there is no need to invest any time and energy because any attraction tactic will be a lost cause in any of these scenarios.

Just Not Interested / Indifferent – If the person feels pretty neutral towards you and indifferent where they do not care whether they hear from you or not, chances are if you are playing hard to get, they are not even going to miss your presence much at all and may not even notice you’re going out of your way to apply this tactic. The same also goes if this person is not interested in you romantically as this person will probably feel more relieved to not hear from you rather than an increased level of attraction.

In a Relationship – It goes without saying that you should not even be approaching someone who is in a serious relationship which would also explain why playing hard to get would not really work because this person is emotionally locked into their significant other and I would also classify this as a situation where someone is in a state of emotional unavailability as mentioned previously. No attraction tactic is going to have an effect if someone is happily taken so again, you should not even be thinking about doing anything about it and find a new love interest.

Too Many Options – When someone has too many options in the love department, while a person might be craving more of the attention from the person not giving it to them, I think this can backfire because if someone is absent for too long, this person can easily be forgotten simply due to a lack of contact or simply think the person is not interested while those who are more persistent with their affection will most likely be noticed than forgotten.

Out of Touch, Out of Time – To expand on my last point, when someone is out of touch for too long (in this case, playing hard to get), eventually time runs out too. Why should someone wait around for someone to give them their time? More specifically, someone who has a strong love for self and a high level of confidence is just not going to tolerate this type of behavior and will move onto to someone who is giving them validation as opposed to someone who is playing hard to get because they recognize that this is an unhealthy way to win their heart.

Final Note: If you are in a situation where you feel that you need to ignore someone, disappear for a certain amount of time, or play games to win anyone’s love and attention then you are choosing the wrong person–bottom line. This is not the way that you should want to start off any relationship because clearly there is not a mutual interest (or interest at all) and even if the other person has an interest but perhaps is trying to apply this tactic on you to win your heart, again–this just is not a healthy way to begin any relationship. It can easily turn into a toxic dynamic where one or both people stay emotionally attached for the wrong reasons.

Remember, it goes both ways: 1) Always love yourself and know that you deserve more than someone who has to use manipulation to try to obtain your attention. Your affection and time should be EARNED once the other person steps up to the plate by taking the time to emotionally invest in getting to know you and consistently spending their quality time with you. 2) You should also avoid playing hard to get because when the right person comes along, you won’t feel the need to pull away or play games–quite the opposite will happen as the relationship will unfold much more naturally and the connection will increase over time by bringing two people together rather than apart.

5 Ways to Improve Your Manifestation Skills

I would have to say that the practice of manifestation is a life skill and having the ability to manifest the things that you desire most is not something you are necessarily taught in school which is why it is essential you teach yourself how to master manifestation. The good news is that anyone can develop the mindset to attract abundance and create everything you want in your lifetime. I want to make it clear that manifestation is NOT an instant gratification process. If you understand this simple principle then you are on the right path and will never be left feeling defeated or disappointed but instead, more motivated, invigorated, and determined. When one begins to lose hope, that is when the process tends to deteriorate. Weak minds are not meant to manifest great things as it takes a strong and positive mindset to do the internal work. So where do we begin?

Be Extremely Specific As to What You Want – People make very general statements as to what they want such as, “I want a big house, nice car, and lots of money.” These are all requests that are way too general. What exactly does a “big house” mean to you specifically? Such as: how many square feet, location, type of house, amount of land, interior style, etc. It is important to think on a more concrete level and to determine the exact details. Even if some of your requests seem very far fetched and out of reach right now, WHO CARES!?! Ask for it anyhow! As they say, “go big or go home” and shouldn’t we all opt to go BIG when it comes to our own life? Of course it is smart to be realistic but that does not mean that you need to limit yourself as to what you can get only right now–think about what you can obtain in your future.

Create Visuals – Although for some, this might be an optional step as you can visualize the outcome in your mind, I do think having a tangible visual (ex: vision board, visuals in a journal, etc.) is helpful because looking at a visual on a daily basis will allow for the visual to stay in the back of your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is very powerful in that it will not really accept anything that does not match up with what you are trying to manifest. You can print visuals from the internet, find images in magazines, and if you’re artistic and fully capable of making them yourself–then go for it (again, why not? as it is about whatever method works best for you).

* If you do not have actual images of what you are looking to manifest, I consider writing down concrete statements on an index card to be just as effective. It is still tangible where you can read it everyday so this works on its own OR in combination with the visuals.

Believe It Is 100% Possible – It is 100% critical to develop the belief that the outcome is 100% possible. I don’t care if the people around you think it’s impossible or if currently there are factors to hinder you from what you want right now because NOTHING SHOULD STOP YOU! You control your mind which gives you the power to control your destiny! Don’t give people that power and don’t let there be any room for doubt to create a mental road block of preventing you from achieving what is most certainly POSSIBLE and getting in the way of your full POTENTIAL.

Take Action – One can’t just ask for anything from the Universe and then sit back and do absolutely nothing about it. Manifestation is NOT about wanting something and then expecting it to fall onto your lap. That is what I call, “Pie in the sky.” I think that is what deters many people from this whole idea of having the ability to manifest because they have this false belief that it is like a genie in a bottle where you ask for a wish and it just happens. That is why I want to clarify that this is not how it works because asking without doing is going to leave you with a whole lot of nothing but false hope and unfilled desires. Once you make it crystal clear your intent and what you want, you need to actually put in the work to make it happen. It might take an incredible amount of small actions to get to the end goal but any action is better than no action.

Trust the Process – You are where you are meant to be at this present moment in your life. Everyday you are getting a step closer to turning your dreams into realities. Rather than asking, “Am I there yet?” or “Is this ever going to happen?” which insinuate a lack of trust and uncertainty, you need to TRUST THE PROCESS and believe that, “Yes, it is happening” and “I am doing whatever it takes to get what I want” because again, action is required to propel the results. Learn to enjoy the journey rather than question the process because everything you want is in the works! 😉

Control Your Destiny By Making It Happen – One Day At a Time

I took a photo of this sign this morning created by a high school graduate.

This morning I attended a high school graduation ceremony where I found a ton of handmade signs displayed throughout the campus. While many focused on congratulating the Class of 2021, I could not help but notice a sign that read, “Stop waiting for things to happen, go out and make them happen.” I took a moment to snap a photo of it so I could post it onto my blog because it’s definitely both a powerful and motivating message.

I value that it is a rather straightforward statement and one that anyone can apply to one’s own life. People need to learn to create opportunities and attract positive life experiences by actually going out there and making them happen. If you just sit around and expect opportunities to knock on your door, then the people who actually are going out there to grab them are always going to be the ones who obtain the opportunity before you do.

Every action step you take is always better than no action at all. It is amazing that a collection of actions can add up and really create an impact over time. Never get discouraged by the process and the time it takes to get to the end goal because it is worth it in the long run. Everyone is capable of achieving great things but it is always up to the individual to determine the quality and the quantity. We all can create a bright and beautiful destiny–all it takes is taking the action necessary to make it happen which can be done by taking it one day at a time.

“Don’t Settle For Less Just Because It’s Available”

The title of this post is actually something I discovered at random on an Instagram caption yesterday and I googled it out of intrigue to see that this is an existing quote in which I wanted to share and reflect upon with my readers. How often have we heard the common expression, “Don’t settle for less than you deserve?” Although I do agree with this and believe we as individuals are the ones determining what we deserve versus what is unacceptable, I actually like this quote even better: “Don’t settle for less just because it’s available.”

The reason why I want to expound on this quote is because it tends to be human nature for people to settle on things simply based on its availability–jobs, relationships, etc. I understand on the one hand that we should accept any opportunities that come our way once they present themselves but what if we every so often turned down what’s available (aka convenient, easy, and perhaps comfortable) to see what else is out there along with striving for something even better? The reason being that availability is NOT ENOUGH! Let’s not settle for something just based on its availability and dig deeper as to what we really want and take the time needed to manifest it.

The key behind manifestation all begins with your mindset–above anything else. It is up to you to keep your mind strong, positive, and focused on what you want to achieve in your lifetime. We all have one life to live, so why can’t it be to our level of extraordinary? Be mindful that the things that are most worth your while are going to require time, patience, discipline, and much more–it is not merely a collection of positive thoughts in your head as there needs to be action to back it up but it certainly is the right start because thoughts do very well become things.

Never lose sight that life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. I will write it again: Life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. If you are aware that this is one of life’s many truths and believe this statement with conviction then you will always attract abundance into your life and not be in a position where settling on availability is your only option. Trust me, we live in a world where there are plenty of options (an infinity actually) 🙂 so keep your mind open to what’s out there–even if that means that it is not available just yet at the present moment because the best is yet to come.

The Pros and Cons of Telling Someone That You Like Them

When you come across someone who you genuinely like, there comes a time where you might wonder if you should take it a step further and say something to this person or if you are better off not saying a word. Everyone’s dating life is situational, so there truly is not a one size fits all answer to this; however, there are some factors to think about before making a decision on what’s best for your personal situation and to prevent making any hasty decisions.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself first before considering the pros and cons of telling someone that you like them:

– How long have you known this person?
Timing is everything when it comes to building personal relationships. If it is too soon, the other person might not have developed the same feelings towards you or if too much time was taken before saying something, the person might have lost patience and interest with the slow pace of the relationship and already has moved on. Needless to say, timing is definitely a factor.

– How did you meet this person? (From work, school, online, mutual friend, etc.)

The way in which you met this person can influence whether or not it is a wise choice to say something. I say that because if you met this person at your workplace, it might not be worth expressing your interest because the other person might prefer to keep things more professional. If you met online, it might be more acceptable to say something as both of you went on a dating app in hopes of meeting someone and might both have the same desire to start a relationship.

– Do you think this person feels the same way about you?
It can be very tricky to know where you stand in the other person’s mind, whether they view you strictly as a friend, crush, casual fling, or a potential love interest. Although you might not be a mind reader, it is sensible to think about whether or not the other person likes you enough for the relationship to progress. If the feelings are not mutual, you could run the risk of making the current relationship that you have with this person extremely awkward.

After thinking about some crucial details in regards to your situation, we can now discuss the pros and cons in telling someone that you like them. I think it can be a good idea to say something if you have spent enough quality time with the other person for feelings to naturally develop and if you do sense there is even a hint of a mutual interest. The reason being that this way, you don’t waste anyone’s time and can see where the relationship goes. I also do believe that it is healthy to be able to express your emotions in order to stay true to yourself and not have to hold back in any way. If it turns out that the other person does not feel the same and you hold zero emotional attachment to the outcome, then it is also not a bad idea to say something because if you get rejected, at least it is better to know now than to find this out after investing too much time with this person. Even if the outcome is not in your favor, it still is more beneficial to know this information as soon as possible so that you can move on to a more meaningful and fulfilling relationship down the line.

As previously mentioned, the only major con to saying something is that you could get outright rejected; however, rejection does not need to be perceived as such a bad thing as it is a part of life and should be embraced for building inner strength and personal growth. I say that because often times, people need to fail now in order to succeed later. If you are emotionally attached to the outcome and already know that your ego is going to be deeply crushed if the person does not like you in return, then it might be better to not say anything and to continue to just take it one day at a time.

Ideally, if you do not form any emotional attachment to the outcome, then you are not at risk of getting hurt and can move on rather quickly. This is the ultimate goal because then no matter their response, you still have the upper hand in the situation by being in control of your destiny and in knowing that you are totally fine either way! 😉

Why Similar Lifestyles Matter in A Relationship

Everyone’s lifestyle varies and it is unlikely to meet someone with the exact same lifestyle as you; however, finding someone with a pretty similar one is very important for long term relationship success. It is natural and okay to have differences including different hobbies but when two people live life in ways in which two people cannot easily relate to each other, it is tough to ask for either person to adapt to the other. It is also very easy for the relationship to deteriorate over time as people tend to get resentful or can simply just get tired of each other’s differences.

That is why it is of extreme importance to pay attention to a person’s overall lifestyle from the start of getting to know someone. Although lifestyle can be impacted by one’s career choice, location, and other factors–the way in which a person chooses to live their life is a personal choice that often won’t change. It is good to examine the major components of one’s lifestyle that can include:

– How does this person like to spend their free time?
– How does this person manage their money? Are they more of a spender or a saver?
– What is their idea of a vacation?
– What are their health habits? What does health/fitness mean to them?
– What are their life goals? Are they in alignment with yours?
– Where do they want to live?

Does this person practice a religion and to what extent?
How much time is enjoyed being spent alone and with their partner?
– What does intimacy mean to this person?

This is just a general list to go by but keep in mind that there are many other areas that can contribute to one’s lifestyle. Please note that I did not list anything that was trivial such as a person’s favorite pizza topping or sports team as I would categorize that as a personal preference and not so much associated with their lifestyle. Of course as I mentioned, nothing is going to be exact but instead, it is most important to focus on what’s SIMILAR. When two lifestyles are very similar, it allows for two people to continuously grow together while genuinely loving each other’s company even more as they are brought together by their shared interests. There is a reason why they say, “Birds of a feather, flock together” which very much applies here.