Category Archives: Dating Advice for Men

5 Tips for Choosing the Best Photos For an Online Dating Profile

When it comes to online dating, there is no denying that people are going to scroll through your photos and base their decision on whether or not you appear to be a good match simply just by looking at your photos. Some people won’t even take the time to read your content so that is why you should put some effort in choosing the best photos that not only highlight your best features but also convey what you are like in real life. It can be hard to determine which photos are best but here are some helpful tips to help you put your best face forward so to speak if you decide to pursue online dating.

Make Sure Your Photos are Current – I personally believe that people should only post photos of themselves from the past six months. When I used to have a dating profile, I made sure everything fell within the six month mark because the best representation of yourself is your current self. How often have you or have you met someone that said that they went on a date with someone who looked nothing like their photos or that their photos looked like they were taken as far as a decade ago? I understand most people tend to look their best in their younger years but it is always best to display images that are recent so that if you ever do end up meeting in person, you are still recognizable from the photos that you shared.

Feature a Mix of Face and Full Body Photos – Although it might go without saying, many people often fail to showcase photos of themselves that include both their face and their full body. I think it is important to show both to convey transparency and so that people have a better sense of how you look if you were to meet up in person. If you are not in as good shape as you used to be, it is still better to show what you look like now than before so that the other person does not feel that you falsely advertised what you look like.

Choose Photos that Convey Your Interests – It is a good idea to post photos with backgrounds to show your interests and passions in life. For example, if you love to ski, then think about posting some photos of yourself during your last ski trip. If you love music, it doesn’t hurt to post photos of yourself from a concert that you went to. Chances are, someone with the same interests will be more intrigued in getting to know you better just based upon some of your shared interests.

Avoid Overly Revealing Photos – It is common to see people post revealing photos which can give off the wrong impression along with sending the wrong message to anyone who is looking at them. It can convey that a person is attention seeking or just looking for a cheap hook up. Even if that’s not the case, unfortunately, that’s how it can be interpreted. To avoid sending mixed messages or giving off a negative first impression, it is much wiser to shy away from posting those types of photos in its entirety.

When in Doubt, Ask For a Second Opinion – If you are unsure if the photos that you are posting are good enough to post, it does not hurt to ask a friend or someone who you are close to for their honest feedback. A photo that you might find flattering, someone might point out that you can post an even better photo which is why it never hurts to ask for a second opinion.

Dating Advice for Men – Build Intimacy and Invest Emotionally at the Same Time

Last week, I wrote an article for women with some dating advice and decided to follow up this week with a dating advice blog for men. While certain advice applies to both genders, there is certain advice that is gender specific. I wrote previously about how women are motivated by relationships that lead to marriage; however, with men–it is safe to say that most men are motivated to connect with women on a physical level. There is nothing wrong with that but what creates a divide is when men rush that phase of the process and/or fail to focus on the emotional connection as well. Most women do not want to be objectified by men or feel as though that men are only looking to hook up with them. Many men make the mistake of coming on too strong physically whether that is with their actions or their words. This can easily turn off a woman in its entirety or she will just come to the conclusion that the guy is not a serious guy along with labeling him as a waste of her time and moving on to a better catch.

This leads to a very important question: How do men avoid this from happening and become the ultimate catch in the eyes of the woman of their interest? First and foremost, as I want to point out from the start, it is essential to actually BE A CATCH! From there, men can work on certain skills to improve their dating lives because as we all know–good looks, success, money, assets, etc. are never enough if a man does not know how to treat a woman. Men need to learn to also be patient with the process like women but for different reasons. They need to build intimacy slowly (in other words, do not rush the pace of their physical relationship) AND invest emotionally at the same time. It is possible to create genuine intimacy through physical touch such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing, hugging, etc. WITHOUT sex being involved. I truly believe that intimacy is the key to creating natural attraction and developing an attachment between two people which ultimately can lead to both a long term relationship and an incredibly satisfying physical one as well over time when it is supposed to. While I tell women not to rush into serious relationships, the same goes for men to stop rushing into a physical relationship with a woman without taking the proper time that is needed to actually get to know her and to bond with her by establishing a deep emotional connection first.

If you authentically like a woman and are pursuing her for the right reasons, it is important to SHOW her this by being consistent in your efforts when emotionally investing in her while building intimacy without pushing the envelope when it comes to having a physical relationship with her right away. This also creates trust and will make her feel more comfortable with you when she is ready to take the relationship to the next level. Even if she is open to exploring a physical relationship with you after a short time of knowing you, I still recommend denying her of sex to make it clear that you are not interested in her for a casual relationship and that you want to continue to better get to know each other first. In return, this will also earn more of her RESPECT towards you and most likely make her feel even more attracted to you (yes, it is amazing how reverse psychology often works as it does here). As always, remember to TRUST THE PROCESS because anything worth your while will take time so you might as well enjoy it while continuing to stay confident in your abilities to manifest your desires!

Can Open Relationships Work?

The concept of an “open relationship” on the surface comes off as an oxymoron to me. When I think of the word relationship, I associate that to entail commitment, loyalty, and togetherness. If you are in a healthy relationship, I would imagine that means that two people are mutually dedicated to each other and the greater good of their relationship. If someone were to propose the idea of having an open relationship–my response would simply be, “Nice knowing you!” In other words, I would terminate the relationship at that point because I look at a relationship as all or nothing. If someone is not going to choose to only be with me and wants to keep their options open, that is not the relationship for me personally. I just do not see the point of that; however, at the same time, I do not like to judge others who have different viewpoints or expectations within their personal relationships because what works for me might not work for someone else.

If you are casually dating someone and it has not been established that both people are in a committed relationship, then by all means, keeping it “open” is acceptable because it is understood by both parties that the relationship is not a serious one or perhaps both people are taking a slower dating approach just to ensure that the connection is genuinely there. In those types of scenarios, I actually encourage people to keep their dating options open and to not overly invest in one person if it is casual because sometimes you have to explore what’s out there before making a commitment to someone and it is wiser to take your time in getting to know the person rather than rushing into a relationship immediately. Women tend to rush into relationships with the agenda of getting married and having children without actually determining if the man is a compatible match and suited for their future which is why you often see women asking for divorces down the line. This is why I believe it is better to take things slow and to not push for relationships until establishing a strong bond and confirming that the feelings are both mutual.

Now the real question is, if you are in a serious relationship or perhaps even married, can an open relationship work out while keeping the initial relationship in the long run? The simple yet not so simple answer is: Yes and No. Yes–it can absolutely work if you have two people totally on the same page with this arrangement. It is possible that both parties agree with keeping it open. However, it has to be equal where both people want the open relationship and NOT one sided where one person asked the other person for an open relationship and the other person felt obligated and settled on this arrangement against their will or for the sake of saving their current relationship. It also is not equal if one person can be in an open relationship but expects the other person to stay totally committed and are not allowed to pursue the same arrangement. While I think it is rare and often can ultimately create problems down the line for the couple, every relationship is situational in that maybe this can work for some people. Again, it can work when two people are on board with it but if you have people who have mixed feelings in regards to how they feel about having an open relationship, that is when you have trouble in paradise. It is for this reason that the best solution is to avoid this arrangement in its entirety or maybe this is a time to reflect whether or not it is time to break up and/or pursue a new relationship altogether.

How to Avoid Toxic Relationships in Its Entirety

In the dating world, while most people opt for relationships that are full of happiness and bliss, the reality is that sometimes relationships are far from healthy and end up becoming extremely toxic. What is a toxic relationship? I would describe a toxic relationship as one that is emotionally draining and consistently problematic. It is normal that couples will argue from time to time but when it happens the majority of the time and the relationship brings more negativity than positivity, I would say that this would be labeled as a toxic relationship. It is easy to fall into a toxic relationship without even realizing it and to keep continuing it for the sake of saving it. However, honestly–these relationships are NOT worth saving and should be avoided at all costs. The real question is, how?

It is important to be consciously aware of when a relationship is taking a turn for the worst or when you start picking up on a series of red flags. As soon as you notice bad behavior or any sign of disrespect, this is your exit ticket to not just walk but to RUN–aka terminate the relationship immediately. The reason it is important to do this as soon as possible is to prevent yourself from developing any deep attachment or strong feelings for the other person and vice versa. If very little time was invested, it is much easier for both people to move on as opposed to walking away from a relationship that lasted for many years. By terminating the relationship, I also want to make it clear that this also means NO CONTACT. I understand for some, that this can be an extremely difficult process because it is reasonable to want to connect and see how someone that you once cared about is doing or to perhaps maintain some sort of friendship. Listen, I get that up to a point. However, let me ask you this–why would you proactively choose to keep someone toxic in your life still? Does toxicity provide any spiritual value in your life or anyone’s life for that matter? I surely hope the answer is NO because that is the correct answer. As soon as you determine at the early stages of the relationship that it has the potential to become toxic, do not hesitate to end it altogether. You are doing everyone a favor by creating the space that is needed for both people to move on and to pursue a better future for themselves without the other person.

Now if you were in a long term relationship with someone for many years and it was rather good in the beginning but then a series of events allowed for the relationship to become toxic over time, I strongly believe that ending the relationship is still your best case scenario. Do not forget that you are always in control of your future and that if you genuinely want to create a brighter one that it is up to YOU to do that–and no one else’s. Things might have been great in the past but if your current partner is causing any added stress, grief, aggravation, and/or other negative impact onto your life, you need to recognize that this is NOT the person for you anymore and that it is time to move on. You not only deserve better but there is a much more suitable match out there for you if you are receptive to that train of thought. As sad as it might feel to give up on a relationship that once brought you joy, it is okay to do so and a far more superior decision in the long run–even if you do not feel or think that way at the present moment. Sometimes you have to close a door in order for the right door to open with a better opportunity. Remember that this spiritual concept applies to most things in life including your personal relationships.

3 Subtle Ways to Convey Interest in Another Person

While there are many different approaches when it comes to building attraction and to signal to someone that you are interested in them, sometimes a subtle approach can be the best way to go about it. Everything is situational and there are many factors to consider such as how long you have known the person and where you met them. Of course there are certain scenarios where a subtle approach wouldn’t get you very far or it is a lost cause altogether to express interest because they could be taken or just never develop the same feelings in return. However, that is why it is a safe way to go about it and there is really nothing to lose.

Eye Contact – While most people naturally make eye contact when they speak to others, I think that it also is more likely to happen naturally when one is attracted to someone else which is why it is a good idea to lock eyes with someone that is of interest to you. Eventually the other person will tend to notice if it is a person whom you see on a regular basis. From there, it will become easier for someone to “make a move” so to speak because both people have already established a connection through their body language.

Initiate a Connection – Eye contact is helpful but won’t get you very far if you rely on strictly eye contact alone. In addition, it could come off as creepy to some people if one is making eye contact on a regular basis but then never saying a word. By initiating a connection, that could be done in different ways. I would say the easiest is to strike up a light conversation. It does not need to be anything too deep or meaningful from the start. It could be very casual. This will also help in determining if there is any type of spiritual connection based upon the conversations. Attraction is a funny thing where you might feel that way about someone from a physical standpoint but then as soon as you talk to the person, you recognize that there is absolutely nothing there to take the attraction any further.

Consistent Interactions – I truly believe that consistency can go a very long way when it comes to building attraction. It is important to be consistent because like anything in life, consistency is bound to lead to results and success over time. Even if the other person is not necessarily as interested or perhaps is not aware that there is any interest on your end, over time this person will probably pick up the cues and most likely start to develop feelings along the way in return as long as the interactions are positive and polite. So remember to be patient but also very consistent with your actions or in this case, your interactions with the other person.

Why Having the Same Boundaries and Values in a Relationship Are Important

While there are many factors involved as to why many relationships fall apart over time, I do believe that when two people are on the same page with their personal boundaries and possess the same value system, there is a much higher chance that the relationship will last for the long haul. In any relationship, it is essential to have those deep conversations with one another to ensure that both people think and feel the same about both the small things and more important aspects of a relationship. For example, how does the other person feel about cheating? How often does the person like to be in communication throughout the day? What is their preferred method of communication? While not every single answer has to be the same as yours, at the very least, it is good to know the answers to these questions. Aside from knowing this information to better understand one another, this will also help in determining how compatible you are with someone. If you recognize that there are a good amount of differences when it comes to your values and boundaries, that might be a good time to reassess the relationship and decide if it is the right one for you or not.

I think that this is often overlooked due to a lack of communication and open dialogue but issues do arise over time from these differences. It is okay to ask questions and to find out how your partner feels regarding things that are important to you. It is also healthy and appropriate to express what your personal boundaries and values are. If the other person is not on board with them, take that as a cue to move on. Remember that the right person would not only respect your boundaries but they would also have no problem honoring them.

Don’t Let Social Media Destroy Your Personal Relationships

It is hard to imagine a time when social media did not exist because most of us rely on social media as a way to establish new connections, maintain existing ones, and to keep up to date with what’s going on in other people’s lives. While social media has its benefits, it does create problems within people’s personal relationships that probably did not exist as commonly before. With that being said, it is important to proactively not let social media destroy your personal relationships. I emphasize “proactively” because it has to be a conscious effort on your end and along with the other person in order to ensure both a healthy and strong relationship.

In order to prevent social media from ruining your relationships, I recommend blocking and/or removing any of your exes from your social media just so they do not have instant access to your page and vice versa. If a relationship is truly over, then there really is no need to see what they are up to unless you managed to establish a strictly platonic relationship or the other person has made it clear that they moved on. If you decide to keep people from your past on your social media, I think it is wise to be fully transparent with your current partner so they are aware of this and to see how they feel about the situation. Your honesty will go a long way and you might find that the other person is okay with it since you mentioned it on your own. If it makes your significant other uncomfortable, then you can have an open conversation about it and decide what’s more important to you–keeping existing relationships via social media or deleting them altogether. This is also a good test to determine if the person you currently are with is a priority in your life or not. If you choose to keep communication open with a previous ex when knowing that your current partner is not okay with it, that might be a sign that the person you are with is not someone you see a long term future with or that you are not truly over your ex. If you did believe that there was a promising future with your current partner then you would have no problem closing the door on anyone that you dated previously.

Another suggestion I could recommend is to reduce your time on social media, take a break from it, or simply get rid of it altogether. Even if you do not have exes on your social media accounts, it is not a bad idea to get rid of it because for many people, it can be a distraction and get in the way of building relationships in-person as opposed to just talking to people behind a screen all the time. You probably will find that you will also get an opportunity to add more time into your day by getting rid of your social media which will prevent yourself from mindlessly scrolling at posts on a daily basis. While social media can be a good thing, remember that it is best to use it within moderation or very sparingly in order to promote healthier relationships.

3 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Dating People With a Lingering Past at All Costs

Everyone has a past but the way in which we resolve our past and move forward with our future varies from person to person. By “lingering past,” I do not mean someone who has children from a previous relationship or someone that is divorced. It is possible for people to be divorced and have moved on. In addition, it is also possible for two people to be over their relationship and to be able to co-parent successfully. I am referring to people who have a past where the door is still open, communication is most likely still frequent, and/or there are unresolved feelings for someone else. It also can refer to people who might not be in constant contact with an ex but they truly are not over the breakup and if their ex were to contact them, they are ready to pick up from where they left off. These are all examples where the message is clear that the person is unable to live life in the present and are still stuck living in their past. This is a major red flag and should be avoided at all costs. Let me repeat myself, please avoid dating people with a lingering past at all costs! You might be wondering why I am so adamant about this and I can explain why.

They Probably Have Someone Else in the Back of Their Mind – Even if the person expresses that they are into you and like you very much, that does not mean much if they also feel this way towards someone else from their past. You deserve to be someone’s top priority when you are in an exclusive relationship and if you discover that you are not, then it is time for you to move on altogether. It is also selfish for the other person to be sharing their heart with more than one person which should be a good enough reason for you to want to move on.

Always the Chance That They Leave You For the Other Person – Anyone who is dating someone with an unresolved past is taking a huge emotional gamble. I say this because even though you really care for the person and they appear to feel the same towards you, it is very easy for them to leave you for an ex if they are still interested in them. It is a harsh reality but one that cannot be ignored because oftentimes this happens and the person who ends up being left with a broken heart is you if you allow yourself to get close to someone who never was fully over their ex to begin with.

Lack of Trust From the Start – It goes without saying that trust is a fundamental necessity in any healthy relationship. Personally, I think that it is tough to trust someone who has a lingering past because you never truly know what is on their mind in terms of their genuine feelings towards you plus you always have to worry in the back of your mind if they are talking to an ex in secrecy or trying to reconnect with them–whether it be emotional and/or physical (such as meeting in person). It is for this reason why this is a no go because if your instincts are telling you that there is a lack of certainty within the relationship due to their past, there is a good chance that your instincts are valid. This also leads to the underlying issue that trust is not there meaning that it is not worth making an emotional investment. As I mentioned above, these types of relationships should not begin in the first place and if you find out or get any sense that their past is not left in their past, it calls for instant termination of the relationship because ultimately there really is no “relationship.”

How to Establish Healthy Communication From the Start – The Best Question to Ask Prior to Any Potential Relationship

When I think about dating and relationships, I do believe that there is potential between any two people given that they both share a mutual interest for each other. However, there are many dating scenarios in which the attraction just stays at the attraction level but never progresses further due to inconsistent communication or lack of it from one or both people. This is what I call a missed opportunity and also an unfortunate situation simply due to the fact that two people did not establish a healthy communication pattern or it fails to be initiated at all. This usually happens for a few reasons. One or both people might be unsure of how the other person feels about them so instead of pursuing it any further, they just sit back and expect the other person to contact them not realizing that the other person is doing the same thing! So the outcome is that you have two people who are equally attracted to each other but nothing happens because neither want to really make a first move or have to overextend themselves at the risk of getting hurt. Another reason a person might not reach out as often is due to a busy schedule or maybe having a fear that they might annoy the other person if they message too much. Whatever the reason is, these all hinder two people from exploring love and developing a genuine connection.

Communication should not be up in the air and left uncertain if you like someone because it sends a mixed message. This is why I also don’t believe “playing hard to get” is effective because if you have two people doing the same thing as I mentioned, then both people never end up getting together. While yes, this tactic can build lingering attraction up to some point but what is the point of attraction if the end goal doesn’t lead two people in seeing where that attraction leads? That is like bringing a beautiful meal out to you at a restaurant but you are not allowed to eat it. You can stare at it but you do not get the pleasure of tasting it. My point is, mutual attraction that is left at a standstill or remains stagnant will eventually lead one or both people to move on because it is not going anywhere anytime soon.

So how can this be prevented? Once you actually are in contact with someone that you like and want to continue to get to know, I think the best question to ask this person is, “How often would you like me to contact you?” What I love about this is that it is direct AF and conveys that you are leading the relationship and want to be in touch but also am mindful of what the other person feels most comfortable with. If the other person responds in a way that suggests they do not want to be in contact with you much at all, this is a good thing because then you know not to invest as much of your time and you might consider walking away altogether. Time is our most valuable spiritual asset so if someone hints any disinterest, that is your cue to keep it moving. If the person expresses that they want to be in contact more frequently, then you know the person is interested in you and you now have a sense of how often you should be in touch with them without overstepping their boundaries and taking up too much of their time. I think it is a win/win set up and one that leaves a good first impression. It is appealing when someone is proactive and steps it up rather than playing a guessing game because most guessing games often lead to a game over.

Dating Advice That No One Wants to Hear but It’s True

I have been trying to think of a good list of dating advice that can literally apply to anyone and everyone. I thought of a short list of dating principles that I recognize might be common sense but dating advice that people don’t always follow in which it is important to share it. I really strive to help people make the very best choices in their personal lives so hopefully these tips are helpful! ❤

Not Everyone Is Going to Like You – Accept It and Move On – This is definitely one of the biggest reality checks that many people fail to follow and understand. It is very common to like someone who does not have the same feelings in return. The best thing to do is to move on and find an equal match where there is a mutual attraction on both ends. However, unfortunately people still stick around in hopes that the other person will start to develop feelings over time or they simply invest way too much of their time, resources, and both their emotional and physical energy into this person when the signs were clear from the start that nothing meaningful was ever going to transpire. I know for many, this can be a tough situation to deal with and can easily bruise the ego. There good thing is, there are literally billions of people in this world and I can assure you that you can actually find someone who values you just as much as you value them in return. So stop wasting your time on the people who don’t like you and find someone who not only likes you but adores you! (Again, with so many people who exist in this Universe, I am pretty sure that this person exists–trust me on this one)! 😉

Don’t Be So Outcome Dependent – Especially When You First Meet Someone – People tend to have way too many expectations when they are out in the dating world and as a result, end up terribly disappointed. Now I am not saying to not have high standards because of course you should set the bar high when you are looking for a life partner. What I am referring to are relationship expectations and imposing a dating agenda when you do not even know the person all too well or perhaps just met them. For example, women tend to discuss wanting a marriage and children after the first date or just a few dates. There is nothing wrong with wanting to manifest these specific things but to mention this to someone without establishing a deep connection first is incredibly premature and unnecessary. The same goes with men who go on dates and they might have a set number of dates in their minds that they are willing to go on before the woman is intimate with them. This again is the wrong approach. It is way better to have a go with the flow mentality and see where things go as opposed to assigning this dating agenda because every dating scenario is situational and you might not even like the person all too much to begin with. That is why it is important to take the time that is needed to build that spiritual connection first and establish that you both want a relationship before expecting intimacy, marriage, etc. You have to let things happen as it is supposed to play out and be patient with the process knowing that the outcome you are looking for is on its way. This is why there is no need to rush it or impose it on anyone because you will meet the right person when you are destined to do so!

Learn to Love Your Life With or Without Someone – I find that there are a lot of people in this world who can’t handle being single and literally are not happy unless they are in a relationship. To me, the underlying issue with this is that these are people who feel empty inside because they do not love their life and/or feel good enough so they rely on others to provide them with love, happiness, and validation in order to feel good about self. Think about it, if someone is happy with their own life, they can navigate and enjoy it without the help of others. This is a very good place to be in because this means that you can function independently and if you happen to meet someone whom you choose to develop a serious relationship with, it is an added bonus to your life but not a necessity because you already love your life!