Category Archives: Positivity

Quiet Confidence – Why It Is Attractive AF and How to Obtain It

Many people associate confident people to be the ones who make a grand entrance and/or stand out amongst a crowd. They might enjoy seeking attention from everyone around them along with being very popular. While these people can be labeled as confident, the truth of the matter is–that might not always be the case. These same people might be in desperate need of social validation in order to feel loved and good about themselves which shows that underneath the surface, they are actually deeply insecure individuals.

This leads me to the topic of what I call “quiet confidence” where someone is confident but might not come off that way because he/she does not have a showy personality and is quiet by nature. You won’t hear this person brag or try to show off to others that they are attractive, smart, etc. because they already know inside that this is the case so there is zero need to flaunt it to those around them. That is not to say that they don’t acknowledge their successes and greatness to others, it is just that they have a more modest approach to life and do not need to be the center of attention in order to raise their confidence levels. Personally, I find people who are quietly confident to be super attractive. They actually stand out more to me and pique my interest because they are not trying as hard to obtain validation from others and are not the loudest people in a room. There are definitely ways to become more quietly confident that can be shared here.

Eliminate Bragging to Others – As I pointed out earlier, a person who has amazing qualities does not need to say so because it goes without saying. In other words, let others be the ones to point out why you are awesome as opposed to trying to sell to everyone that you are because it can come off that you do not truly believe it yourself which is why you need to prove to others that you are a certain way or on the other hand, that you are a conceited individual.

Don’t Overshare Your Life – I never like to be judgmental but if I have to be honest–I find those who constantly feel the need to overshare what they are doing all the time and who go out of their way to showcase how perfect their lives are tend to either be a total narcissist or someone who is attention seeking which are both rather negative traits to possess. It is nice to share some highlights but overdoing it can come off the wrong way and also show an emotional neediness which is far from being quietly confident.

Focus on Your Own Personal Path to Happiness – People tend to be so influenced by what they see other people doing which detracts from their own personal path to happiness. You need to ask yourself, “what brings me joy?” and then actually go out and pursue those things. Who really cares what everyone else is doing, it matters more what you are doing and how you choose to steer the direction of your life! Those who are quietly confident just do their own thing without really caring about impressing others while they continue to follow their own path because they are confident about their life choices and where their personal path leads.

Don’t Be Too Outcome Dependent – 3 Ways to Prevent This From Happening

It is natural to set goals and to get attached to the final outcome of the things that we desire most. While you should continue to focus on achieving your goals and manifesting everything that you want in your lifetime, it is important to not become too outcome dependent where you feel let down or disappointed when you do not immediately receive what you want. This can cause people to give up altogether or to feel bad inside because they are not getting the results that they are asking for. The truth of the matter as I point out time and time again–most valuable things take TIME! If you understand this basic principle, then there is no reason to feel bad about yourself or that you have to quit working towards your goals. Instead, you should feel more EMPOWERED knowing that what you want is on the way. Here are some tips to help prevent you from becoming too outcome dependent while also possessing the mental strength that is needed to help you continue to turn your desires into a reality.

Practice Patience – It is essential to stay patient and if you find yourself losing patience, take this as an opportunity to work on this area of your life. Be proactive with your intent to enjoy the present moment while practicing patience. You have to cherish your present life as it unfolds into your future and be patient knowing that your future is getting brighter each and every day. Sometimes that means that you might encounter a few setbacks along the way or there could be moments where it feels like life is stagnant but never let this mentally cloud your mind into believing that what you want is out of your reach. Again, all amazing things do very well take time so be extra patient when it comes to the time it takes in reaching your manifestations.

Consistent Action – If you do not take any action, you are never going to progress or get any results. That is why you need to be super consistent with your efforts and take the action that is needed to get what you want. Even if that means that you are not seeing any progression at the present moment, remember that if you continue to keep doing what you are doing, it will all lead to the greater good and eventually lead to the results that you are looking for. It is important to keep showing up and staying self motivated when it comes to doing whatever action that is necessary to get to your end goal. If you want something bad enough then giving up is NEVER an option!

Continue to Trust the Process – I know I preach this concept quite often but that is because I find that most people fail to trust the process and are clouded with lots of negative thoughts along with uncertainty. Uncertainty is the OPPOSITE of trust. It is natural to feel uncertain in regards to different areas of your life and the rate in which it is progressing but you need to stay mentally strong and TRUST that everything is okay and that you are on a path that is leading to your most desired outcomes. As I put it, you need to mentally believe that whatever it is that you want is “in the bag” meaning that it is inevitable that you will possess it–no matter how long it takes. Don’t forget that when you “trust the process” that you are CERTAIN that whatever it is that you are looking to receive will arrive within your future.

Dating Advice for Women – Stop Rushing Into Serious Relationships and Here’s Why

As a woman, I understand that most of us cherish being in a long term relationship that will hopefully lead into a solid marriage and perhaps the opportunity to create a family in the future. I am not against this desire and I believe that if this is something that a woman wants to manifest into her life, then she should hold onto this vision and not give up until she makes it a reality. However, the way a woman approaches this can vary and oftentimes I see women rush into serious relationships as soon as possible which usually ends up either scaring the man away or she ends up settling on being with the wrong man because she was on an agenda to lock someone into a permanent relationship as soon as she can.

My best advice for women is to simply, TRUST THE PROCESS and to take things slow. People in general need to learn to trust the process when it comes to just about everything in life including personal relationships. When you trust that you will manifest what you want in the right time in your life, you are left feeling confident within your soul and you banish any anxiety or stress related to your goals because you know that your desires are on the way and will be delivered to you. I find that many women put themselves into a scarcity mindset where they panic if they do not find a husband by a certain age or they have this mentality that they will never find the right man for them at the time that they want which is usually right now. The key is PATIENCE paired with a POSITIVE outlook and focusing on embracing the PRESENT moment as opposed to obsessing over the future and/or in certain situations, dwelling on a failed past which will also hinder someone from the long term relationship that they are looking for.

It is human nature to strive for instant gratification but it is much more rewarding to not only trust the process but to enjoy the process as you are experiencing it! Rather than rush into a serious relationship the moment you find a man that you like or question if you are going to be a part of his future, it is much wiser to enjoy getting to know the man on every level and to determine if there is a MUTUAL CONNECTION first and foremost. If there is a genuine connection where you both feel the same way about each other, the sky is the limit when it comes to how bright your futures will be together. There will be zero uncertainty, you won’t be left feeling uneasy and having to question his every move, and everything will just flow naturally in the right direction.

There is no need to force relationships upon men or to get overly emotional over anyone that is not deserving of your love. This is why you also need to pace the relationship and let the man earn your affections. The question should not be, “Does he see me in his future?” It should actually be along the lines of, “Is this man worthy enough to be a part of my future?” There is a huge difference between those two questions. The first one comes from a weak mindset where the underlying question is, “Am I good enough?” whereas the other question is from a strong minded female essentially asking, “Is he good enough for me?” Women of high value already know what they bring to the table and already know that they are good enough. They also are not willing to settle on just any man who walks into their lives and take the proper time that is needed to examine them from the inside out to make sure that they are qualified enough to stay in their future. As a woman, it is important to always stay true to the core of your values, know your worth (the right man will know it from the get go and want to invest in you from the start, trust me), and to NEVER settle on a man just for the sake of having one. Although life is short, there is no need to rush your relationships because what is meant to be–will BE! If you are casually dating, take your time in getting to know people and do not overly invest in one person until you both establish that you are on the same page. If you are currently single, in the meantime, relax and just continue to enjoy that fabulous life of yours. If someone is worthy enough to join you, that’s great but if not, your life is still fabulous no matter what! 😉

Abundance Is A Mindset

I am actually typing from my cell phone right now because I am away on vacation but I came across this at a boutique and wanted to share this simple yet powerful message: “Abundance is a mindset.”

I couldn’t agree more with this statement! When I reflect upon my own life and feel a heightened sense of gratitude in regards to everything I have manifested and have attracted at this stage of my life, it is apparent that I have a positive outlook along with a deep spiritual connection with the Universe.

I often preach about having an abundance mindset within my blog because I truly believe we live in a world with unlimited resources and opportunities. In order to receive, it is essential that you trust the process and believe that everything you desire is on the way and that it is attainable. If you have doubts or don’t think that your desires are actual possibilities, then you will never manifest your very best life. Trust me, if you keep your mind abundant, everything does fall into place at the right time in your life so don’t ever let negativity get in the way of that.

The Truth About Youth And Why Life Should Only Get Better With Age

We live in a society that is obsessed with youth. Whether you are consciously aware of it or you are not, there is no denying that people want to stay young and that there are many out there who get depressed at the thought of aging. While celebrating a birthday should be seen as a happy milestone each year, as people get older, there are many who do not view it this way and do not enjoy acknowledging that they are getting older. While it is understanding up to a point why people feel this way, I am here to remind you that this is not the right mindset to have! I remember talking to someone awhile ago about this subject and the person was saying that people should be grateful for each year that they get to live and embrace the physical changes that come along with that because there are some people that never get that opportunity to experience aging because they passed at a young age. This was something that stuck with me because this is all very true. We all need to appreciate our lives today because there is never a guarantee that there is a tomorrow.

On a brighter note, I want to share my mindset when it comes to aging: Life should only get better with age. What I mean by that is that as we get older, we should have collected more life experiences along with heightening our very own self development. These are both great spiritual assets that are often not received until much later in life. When I look back on my youth, while I might have appeared to be at the “prime” of my life; I did not have as much then as I do today. I would still choose to be where I am at the present moment rather than wishing I could go back to my younger days because life is always moving forward and day by day, I am continuing to progress. While being younger might have its perks, the truth comes back to my mindset that life gets better with age! Remember that if you choose to think this way, you will be able to manifest much more abundance into your life and attract the positive experiences that you have yet to live! It is all coming your way if you believe that the very best is in your FUTURE and that “the best is yet to come!” 😉

Why Practicing Generosity Matters In This World

When I think about some of the most desirable traits to possess, one of the first things that always comes to mind is generosity or simply the act of being generous. When I use the word “generous,” I do not want anyone to interpret that to solely mean someone who gives an exorbitant amount of money to charity or someone who has the money to buy lavish gifts on a regular basis. While the act of generosity is often associated with money, practicing it can be done so on a regular basis and in very small ways that still can make a lasting impact on others. It does not need to be a grand gesture at all times and even the smallest of gestures can still be rather significant.

Being that this is something that I highly value, in the back of my mind, I try to proactively make this a habit. When you are generous towards other people, you are not only showing your appreciation but also making the other person feel good inside which ultimately makes you feel good in return. It is a win win situation in my book because it not only uplifts the other person but it can fulfill your soul with positivity. It is for this reason that I associate generosity with good karma. Do you want to attract good karma in your life? Then consider finding ways in which you can practice generosity. I also find that when people are generous towards me, it promotes me to want to reciprocate and be extra generous in return. While some people will take advantage and take from people who like to give, it is good to be cautious of people with these behaviors because people with a “taker” mentality tend to never change. However, sometimes people can learn from other people who give and slowly develop it into a habit as well.

From a spiritual standpoint, I truly believe that in order to attract more abundance, generous gestures and the act of giving are essential because there is so much to go around in the Universe–one should never have to worry that there will be a shortage of anything. If you are constantly holding back and taking from others as opposed to giving, this comes from a scarcity mindset that there are not enough resources. It is always far more superior to give more than you take because we live in an abundant world with lots to go around for everyone. Aside from money, time is also a spiritual gift that you can choose to give to someone generously. So if you genuinely feel that your financial resources are tight at the moment, remember that there are plenty of other ways to be generous that do not have a monetary value. All that matters is that you are making the effort to practice generosity because oftentimes, it will not go unnoticed and you could be making a positive difference in someone else’s life–especially someone who is less fortunate than you are.

You Can Be Both Smart AND Beautiful – You Can Actually Be ANYTHING

Sometimes you hear people say that people can either be intelligent or attractive but why can’t people CHOOSE to be both? I emphasize the word “choose” because it is up to us as individuals to determine what our best qualities are. Even if other people might not perceive you to be a certain way, what ultimately matters most is how you perceive yourself. For example, you might not be someone’s type look wise but does that mean that you are not attractive? Absolutely NOT! Of course you are! The key is to train your mindset to truly believe that you are! 😉 Remember that your thoughts do become things so if you believe that you are a certain way, then you will possess these qualities because your mind determined that they are indeed factual. This goes for intelligence and pretty much any desirable quality that is out there. Just because someone doesn’t classify you a certain way, that should not be an indicator of your authentic being.

When prevents people from being the best version of themselves is a weak mindset paired with a lack of confidence. If you recognize that you do not think very highly of yourself, the good news is that there are ways to change that and like most things in life, it is never too late to start! The best way to change your outlook is to create positive affirmations for yourself. These can be written down on index cards and read aloud as a reminder. This might sound like a silly thing to do but that is how manifestation works is by repetition and a strong focus on a desired outcome. It is amazing that when you are consistent and persistent, the internal work that you put into your self development actually transforms into a reality. Ultimately you can be ANYTHING that you want to be as long as you are in control of your mind and you are always striving to be the best that you can be! 🙂

Life is Like a Chess Game – What Is Your Next Move?

I have always enjoyed playing the game chess because in order to be a good player, you need to be able to think a few steps ahead when you are moving the pieces in hopes to checkmate the other opponent’s king by the very end. I also like to play chess because I like games that involve strategy and that are mentally challenging. Does playing a game of chess apply to life? In my opinion, it very much does so!

When it comes to life, an important question that you should always be asking yourself is, “what is your next move?” This allows for you to think about your future and to plan the action steps that are needed to get to your desired outcome. If you choose to live day by day without looking at the bigger picture, you might end up staying stagnant in life for quite some time and you also run the risk of limiting your full potential. It is for this reason that you should always be asking what your next move is whether it be within your professional or personal life. It matters to focus on the direction that you want to go and to take the steps necessary to keep you on the right track. Whether it is a game of chess or your life, every move you make matters so think thoroughly and with a purpose!

The Best Response to Any Compliment

Sometimes when people are faced with a compliment, especially if it comes unexpectedly, they are unsure of how to reply accordingly. I find it is common to hear people react in two ways, both that are on opposite ends of the spectrum. One is to deflect the compliment and respond in a way that they are not really accepting the compliment. This could be due to the fact that the person is modest by nature or because they do not feel worthy of the compliment. The opposite way people could reply to a compliment is to agree with the person or to take it a step further and confidently boast that they know. While I do agree that it is good to accept a compliment, taking this as an opportunity to brag or show off is not really appropriate in my opinion. I also do not think rejecting a compliment is the right thing to do because although it is a modest response, it can make the other person feel awkward while also making the person who received the compliment appear to be insecure.

So what is the best way to respond to a compliment? Simply say, “thank you” graciously. That is all that is really necessary! It shows that you are appreciative but that it is not going to your head and that you are confident enough to accept it. While most people know to say thank you, it is not always the immediate response that one tends to give which is why it is important to train the brain to just say thank you and keep it moving. Oftentimes less is more and that most certainly applies here–after receiving a compliment.

It Does Not Matter Where You Started – You Determine the Direction of Your Path

Oftentimes when you turn on a news station, the focus tends to be on bad news and all the negative events that are shaping the modern world that we live in today. I recognize that it can sometimes be hard to hear good news when most media outlets only highlight the bad things. Over the weekend, I was listening to a headline that caught my attention and left a lasting impression which propelled me to want to share the news in my blog this week. It was about a graduating high school senior from Paterson, New Jersey who got accepted into Harvard University. While on the surface, you might be thinking, “What’s the big deal?” For starters, this specific area in New Jersey is not the most affluent of areas and the student was raised by a single parent. While most would look at where they started and declare that they did not have the same opportunities as someone who was in a much better starting position, she did not use her childhood or socioeconomic status as setbacks but instead, realized that with hard work and dedication to her goals, she can turn her dream into a reality! This leads me to the title of this blog, one of many important facts of life–It does NOT matter where you started because YOU determine the direction of your path!

The news station I was watching interviewed Isabela Gonzalez and it was truly a beautiful story that touched my heart. She was talking about how when she was a young child, she heard of Harvard University and she was told that prestigious people such as presidents went to Harvard University. In response, naturally, she was like, “Well then I want to go to Harvard University!” Her family members laughed and then explained to her that not just anyone gets accepted and that it is one of the hardest schools to get into. Did that leave her discouraged? Nope, quite the contrary. Fast forward her life a decade later and she will be attending Harvard University this fall.

This also brings me back to the power of manifestation and what I call “planting the seed.” In this example, it is so evident that the seed had been planted in her mind as a child that she was going to go to Harvard University. She was too little to understand what that meant or the academic excellence that would be required of her to get into a school like that but it was a decision that was planted in the back of her mind and stayed there. I truly believe that her belief that she was worthy enough to go there along with her desire to go to Harvard University is what subconsciously and perhaps consciously had motivated her to put in the work that was needed to receive her acceptance letter into the school. This by no means is a sheer coincidence but exemplifies manifestation at work. Please take note here that when you “plant the seed,” the seed eventually grows as long as you water the seed or in this case, take the action that is needed to help the seed grow into a miraculous plant.

Mind you, in the article I shared above, I was reading about how fear almost crept in and she almost did not take the time to apply but that she had a teacher who pretty much said he would not supply her a teacher recommendation unless she followed through and still applied to Harvard as planned. Even though she had some moments of doubt, she had someone who told her to apply anyway which points out two other important lessons which are to always believe in yourself and to try no matter the outcome! There is an incredible amount of spiritual value and life lessons that can be taught from this wonderful story. Congratuations to Isabela Gonzalez for her success story and to an even brighter future ahead!