Category Archives: Self

Don’t Let a Scarcity Mindset Ruin Your Dating Life

There are many factors that can hinder people from having a successful dating life and one of the biggest that I see are those who possess a scarcity mindset. What is a scarcity mindset and how does it apply to dating? A scarcity mindset stems from the thought that there are limited options and that there are not enough resources to go around. So as a result, a person with a scarcity mindset believes that they must hold onto dear life everything that they have because something else might not come their way. I can assure you that this is extremely far from the truth! Let’s not forget that we live in an abundant world with lots of opportunities which means that you should never settle upon anything and this is especially true when it comes to dating!

Here are the most common things that I hear people say and I am here to tell you that this is NOT the way to think because it is coming from a place of scarcity when you should train your brain to live ABUNDANTLY.

“I am not happy with my current relationship but I do not think that I could ever find someone again.” – This is a horrible way to think! This essentially is saying that it is okay to settle for unhappiness because there is no hope in finding someone who could be a better suited match. I do believe that two people can find a healthy way to make things work within a relationship but at the same time, if in your heart you know that this is not the one, it is not wise to keep the relationship going just because you do not think you could find someone better. You won’t know unless you break off the relationship, put yourself out there, and explore other dating opportunities.

“I do not think that I will ever find someone this good so I will do whatever it takes to keep them in my life, even if that means that I have to make personal sacrifices that I am not happy about.” – This to me not only conveys that this person has a scarcity mindset but it also shows that this person holds onto many insecurities. I say this because a secure person would not feel they have to bend over backwards just to keep someone around and would want an equal partnership. Someone who is very insecure might feel they have to do a lot in order to compensate for what they are lacking inside and feel that they will only be loved if they go above and beyond for the other person even if that means that the other person is not reciprocating and treats them as a doormat.

“I am never going to find anyone so what is the point of even looking?” – Wow, I do not think it could get much worse than this! This is such a depressing way to think and goes to show that a person that thinks this way is not thinking with an abundant mind. A person with an abundance mindset would know that there is someone for everyone and that they will eventually find their match because there are plenty of people they could connect with and potentially date.

Happy 2023 – Some Life Updates :)

Hi all and happy new year! I can’t believe I am writing my first blog for 2023. It is always a new adjustment at the start of the new year and usually a time to reflect on the upcoming year ahead. To be honest, I have not made the time to do that just yet or to set new goals for 2023 but will plan to write my intentions for 2023 in the near future.

It is hard saying goodbye to 2022 because that was one of the best years of my life. The number 22 happens to be my lucky number so I could also be a little bias. Aside from that, I got married at the end of 2022 and it truly was one of the most magical and sentimental days of my life filled with an incredible amount of love and warmth. The day totally exceeded my expectations in terms of anything I could have ever imagined. When people say that their wedding day was the happiest day of their lives, I totally understand this now. ❤

Aside from having a great year, I have to remember that life keeps getting better and that there are many new memories and experiences on the horizon that I have not created just yet. It’s only the beginning…are you ready? I know that I am!

Happy new year everyone and I hope that everyone sets their intentions high not just because it is a new year but because it should be an everyday practice! 😉

Why Self Care Is Especially Important During the Holiday Season

While the holidays can be a fun and festive time of the year, as we all know, sometimes the holidays can bring upon different levels of stress between planning events, putting some strain on your finances, dealing with family members you might not want to see, etc. That is why it is important to still take time for self care and to not forget about yourself as it is very easy to do so during this time of year. Meaning that you should not neglect your daily self care regime and feel that you have to take care of everyone else without taking care of yourself.

If you are used to working out, still make time to work out whenever you find any time that you can do so. If you need a massage to relieve some tension, then you should go ahead and book an appointment. Be sure to find ways to always clock in enough sleep each day and to continue to a nutritional diet. Of course it is understandable to indulge if you’re at a holiday party or a special event but moderation is still important to keep in the back of your mind. The things that make you feel good and that relieves any stresses in your life are the things that you need to prioritize along with all the other things that are on your holiday list. Trust me, you will never regret taking care of yourself! 🙂

The Greatest Risk In Life Is Not Taking Enough Risks

There is the common saying, “no risk, no reward” and I have to say that this is a valuable statement that applies to life. Think about it, if you always stayed in your comfort zone and did not take chances in life, not only would your life be very boring but it would stay stagnant. There wouldn’t be much change and if there isn’t much change, then there wouldn’t be much personal growth or wisdom to gain along with any potential rewards. It is for this reason, that you should embrace taking risks from time to time. You need to put yourself out there and chase what you want in your life, even if that means that you might not get that golden opportunity (don’t worry, our abundant Universe has a ton more to offer to you 😉 ) or that the chance that you are taking doesn’t work out as planned.

While taking risks can make you feel uneasy because there is no guaranteed outcome and it can sometimes bring upon rejection or a hurt ego, taking risks is a necessary part of life, both on a personal and professional level. Rejection is okay and shouldn’t be viewed as a negative thing because rejection builds resilience and can ultimately propel you to try even harder the next time. You would not make any gains in your life unless risk is involved. Most successful people took a ton of risks to get to where they are today and did not let failures or setbacks stand in their way. Remember that taking risks is a part of the process and that it is a win/win in the long run even if you do not receive your desired results immediately because it takes time to achieve amazing results and to manifest everything that you want in your life. It is more risky to do nothing and not take risks than whatever risk that is presented to you that you are not taking. So take your chances and do not be afraid to take risks–you might not only be surprised by what comes of it but you will also get much further in your life by doing so!

It’s the Day Before Thanksgiving – Take the Time to Show Gratitude By Doing This One Gesture

Thanksgiving is not only a time to enjoy some amazing food and be with your loved ones but it is also a day to feel gracious and to take the time to be thankful! While practicing gratitude should be an everyday practice, it is especially nice to acknowledge the people who are closest to you. Why not express to them how you feel at Thanksgiving this year?

I recommend taking the time to hand write a letter or card simply to show your gratitude towards at least one person or a few people whom you really care about. You can give specific instances in which they have been there for you and/or write about the qualities that you value most about this person. It can be short and sweet or you can take the time to write a longer message. Remember, it is the quality of the content and the effort that you took to write a message that will mean most to the other person. It may be a simple gesture but it is a gesture that holds meaning, makes others feel appreciated, and a great way of practicing gratitude! 🙂

As always, I love to practice what I preach and will go ahead and write a gratitude message below to my readers this year!

Dear Readers,

I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to read my blog! This is a place where I like to share empowering messages, spread positivity, and provide enlightening wisdom about life! Whether or not you tune in regularly or once in a while, just know that I appreciate all of you who spiritually invest their time reading my content! Blogging is a rewarding hobby that allows me to express my creativity and innermost thoughts. Thank you for being a part of my world!

To all of those who celebrate Thanksgiving, please cherish these moments with your family and friends. Please also take the time to self reflect and count all the lucky blessings that life has granted you up to this point along with focusing on the manifestations that will come into your fruition within your future!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!
Meli – “Make Up the Life You Love”

The Importance of Turning Burdens Into Blessings – Life Is About Staying Positive and Personal Growth

I just randomly stumbled upon this saying, “turn burdens into blessings” and although this might sound cliché to some, it was actually the first time that I read this and I could not agree more with this statement which was why I wanted to touch upon it within my blog. Although we cannot always control the highs and the lows that life throws our way, the truth of the matter is that we can choose the way in which we navigate our emotional response in regards to what happens to us in our lifetimes. For example, while one might get very upset over a breakup (which FYI is normal and justified)–another person might look at this “burden” as a “blessing” where they feel liberated to start fresh or maybe take that time to focus on self development. My point is, whatever it is that you perceive as negative, it can very well be translated into something POSITIVE. For all you know, it can open the door to a better opportunity later in time or be a necessary experience that will set you up for something even better. Seriously! I know it is easy for someone to say, “Everything is going to be okay” when you feel miserable and you are entitled to feel sadness, frustration, or negative thoughts from time to time but it is important to look at the bigger picture and to pick yourself back up and shift your mind into a positive one. I truly believe that facing adversity and challenges from time to time are what actually contributes most to our own personal growth. If things were great at all times, people would never pick up any spiritual lessons and life would remain rather stagnant with no motivation to make things better.

Also remember that the people who on the surface you might perceive to have a better life than yours or perhaps have been born into better circumstances than yourself might face their own unique set of challenges and problems that you are not aware of. No one’s life is perfect so it is important to continue to focus on your own personal path and develop your own coping mechanisms when you are faced with a challenge. At the end of the day, it is up to you to build the inner strength that you have the mental capacity to overcome anything because guess what–you can and you will as long as you have the positive mindset to back that belief up! 😉

Learn To Love the Body You Are Born With

While there are societal pressures to look a certain way or to have the “perfect” body, realistically, we all know that there is no such thing as a perfect body. What one might perceive as perfect might vary from another person’s definition of perfect so we should not care so much about what other people think and focus more on how we perceive ourselves. If you learn to love your body, it will build your confidence levels and help in developing an overall positive body image. Aside from visual aesthetics, everyone should proactively opt to live a healthy lifestyle which means incorporating a healthy diet along with daily exercise. There are endless benefits when you take the time to take care of yourself and this most certainly includes taking care of your body.

It makes me sad when I see people go through extreme measures to look a certain way or to feel good about their bodies when people should genuinely be grateful for and embrace the body they were born with. It is natural to find flaws but it should be just as natural to look for one’s own personal assets because everyone is born with something to be proud of. It is what makes us unique as individuals and we are all born with our own special set of DNA. We should not feel pressured to conform to unrealistic beauty standards which oftentimes is an illusion and/or try to look like someone else. While I understand that some might find the need to turn to plastic surgery in order to make the changes to feel good inside, some of these procedures can be dangerous to one’s health over time and do not really fix the inner problem which comes down to a self esteem issue. Before making any dramatic decisions in regards to one’s appearance, it is much better in the long run to work on the INTERNAL issues by working on building self esteem that can be generated by things other than one’s outer appearance such as expanding a career, starting a new hobby, and/or pursuing new goals that can bring success, happiness, and personal growth in life.

Quiet Confidence – Why It Is Attractive AF and How to Obtain It

Many people associate confident people to be the ones who make a grand entrance and/or stand out amongst a crowd. They might enjoy seeking attention from everyone around them along with being very popular. While these people can be labeled as confident, the truth of the matter is–that might not always be the case. These same people might be in desperate need of social validation in order to feel loved and good about themselves which shows that underneath the surface, they are actually deeply insecure individuals.

This leads me to the topic of what I call “quiet confidence” where someone is confident but might not come off that way because he/she does not have a showy personality and is quiet by nature. You won’t hear this person brag or try to show off to others that they are attractive, smart, etc. because they already know inside that this is the case so there is zero need to flaunt it to those around them. That is not to say that they don’t acknowledge their successes and greatness to others, it is just that they have a more modest approach to life and do not need to be the center of attention in order to raise their confidence levels. Personally, I find people who are quietly confident to be super attractive. They actually stand out more to me and pique my interest because they are not trying as hard to obtain validation from others and are not the loudest people in a room. There are definitely ways to become more quietly confident that can be shared here.

Eliminate Bragging to Others – As I pointed out earlier, a person who has amazing qualities does not need to say so because it goes without saying. In other words, let others be the ones to point out why you are awesome as opposed to trying to sell to everyone that you are because it can come off that you do not truly believe it yourself which is why you need to prove to others that you are a certain way or on the other hand, that you are a conceited individual.

Don’t Overshare Your Life – I never like to be judgmental but if I have to be honest–I find those who constantly feel the need to overshare what they are doing all the time and who go out of their way to showcase how perfect their lives are tend to either be a total narcissist or someone who is attention seeking which are both rather negative traits to possess. It is nice to share some highlights but overdoing it can come off the wrong way and also show an emotional neediness which is far from being quietly confident.

Focus on Your Own Personal Path to Happiness – People tend to be so influenced by what they see other people doing which detracts from their own personal path to happiness. You need to ask yourself, “what brings me joy?” and then actually go out and pursue those things. Who really cares what everyone else is doing, it matters more what you are doing and how you choose to steer the direction of your life! Those who are quietly confident just do their own thing without really caring about impressing others while they continue to follow their own path because they are confident about their life choices and where their personal path leads.

Don’t Be Too Outcome Dependent – 3 Ways to Prevent This From Happening

It is natural to set goals and to get attached to the final outcome of the things that we desire most. While you should continue to focus on achieving your goals and manifesting everything that you want in your lifetime, it is important to not become too outcome dependent where you feel let down or disappointed when you do not immediately receive what you want. This can cause people to give up altogether or to feel bad inside because they are not getting the results that they are asking for. The truth of the matter as I point out time and time again–most valuable things take TIME! If you understand this basic principle, then there is no reason to feel bad about yourself or that you have to quit working towards your goals. Instead, you should feel more EMPOWERED knowing that what you want is on the way. Here are some tips to help prevent you from becoming too outcome dependent while also possessing the mental strength that is needed to help you continue to turn your desires into a reality.

Practice Patience – It is essential to stay patient and if you find yourself losing patience, take this as an opportunity to work on this area of your life. Be proactive with your intent to enjoy the present moment while practicing patience. You have to cherish your present life as it unfolds into your future and be patient knowing that your future is getting brighter each and every day. Sometimes that means that you might encounter a few setbacks along the way or there could be moments where it feels like life is stagnant but never let this mentally cloud your mind into believing that what you want is out of your reach. Again, all amazing things do very well take time so be extra patient when it comes to the time it takes in reaching your manifestations.

Consistent Action – If you do not take any action, you are never going to progress or get any results. That is why you need to be super consistent with your efforts and take the action that is needed to get what you want. Even if that means that you are not seeing any progression at the present moment, remember that if you continue to keep doing what you are doing, it will all lead to the greater good and eventually lead to the results that you are looking for. It is important to keep showing up and staying self motivated when it comes to doing whatever action that is necessary to get to your end goal. If you want something bad enough then giving up is NEVER an option!

Continue to Trust the Process – I know I preach this concept quite often but that is because I find that most people fail to trust the process and are clouded with lots of negative thoughts along with uncertainty. Uncertainty is the OPPOSITE of trust. It is natural to feel uncertain in regards to different areas of your life and the rate in which it is progressing but you need to stay mentally strong and TRUST that everything is okay and that you are on a path that is leading to your most desired outcomes. As I put it, you need to mentally believe that whatever it is that you want is “in the bag” meaning that it is inevitable that you will possess it–no matter how long it takes. Don’t forget that when you “trust the process” that you are CERTAIN that whatever it is that you are looking to receive will arrive within your future.

5 Tips for Choosing the Best Photos For an Online Dating Profile

When it comes to online dating, there is no denying that people are going to scroll through your photos and base their decision on whether or not you appear to be a good match simply just by looking at your photos. Some people won’t even take the time to read your content so that is why you should put some effort in choosing the best photos that not only highlight your best features but also convey what you are like in real life. It can be hard to determine which photos are best but here are some helpful tips to help you put your best face forward so to speak if you decide to pursue online dating.

Make Sure Your Photos are Current – I personally believe that people should only post photos of themselves from the past six months. When I used to have a dating profile, I made sure everything fell within the six month mark because the best representation of yourself is your current self. How often have you or have you met someone that said that they went on a date with someone who looked nothing like their photos or that their photos looked like they were taken as far as a decade ago? I understand most people tend to look their best in their younger years but it is always best to display images that are recent so that if you ever do end up meeting in person, you are still recognizable from the photos that you shared.

Feature a Mix of Face and Full Body Photos – Although it might go without saying, many people often fail to showcase photos of themselves that include both their face and their full body. I think it is important to show both to convey transparency and so that people have a better sense of how you look if you were to meet up in person. If you are not in as good shape as you used to be, it is still better to show what you look like now than before so that the other person does not feel that you falsely advertised what you look like.

Choose Photos that Convey Your Interests – It is a good idea to post photos with backgrounds to show your interests and passions in life. For example, if you love to ski, then think about posting some photos of yourself during your last ski trip. If you love music, it doesn’t hurt to post photos of yourself from a concert that you went to. Chances are, someone with the same interests will be more intrigued in getting to know you better just based upon some of your shared interests.

Avoid Overly Revealing Photos – It is common to see people post revealing photos which can give off the wrong impression along with sending the wrong message to anyone who is looking at them. It can convey that a person is attention seeking or just looking for a cheap hook up. Even if that’s not the case, unfortunately, that’s how it can be interpreted. To avoid sending mixed messages or giving off a negative first impression, it is much wiser to shy away from posting those types of photos in its entirety.

When in Doubt, Ask For a Second Opinion – If you are unsure if the photos that you are posting are good enough to post, it does not hurt to ask a friend or someone who you are close to for their honest feedback. A photo that you might find flattering, someone might point out that you can post an even better photo which is why it never hurts to ask for a second opinion.