5 Signs You’re Not With the Right Partner

When looking for a life partner, there may come times when you question whether or not you should stay in your current relationship. Although I can probably think of a more extensive list as to signs to look for when determining if it’s time to end a relationship, I came up with my top five list. The list below should help you to decide if the relationship is worth pursuing or whether or not it is meant to last over time.

There Are Way Too Many Things to Fix – If you find that you’re with someone who you want to change many things about them, this person simply is not the one. Of course the person you are with will not possess everything you are looking for; however, if the person is missing many things that you’re looking for in a life partner then you should consider moving on because ideally you want to be with someone who you can accept the person for who they are including both their good and bad traits. For example, if you can’t stand their eating habits or how they manage their money, rather than trying to change them, find a person who is more aligned with how you choose to live your life. Why settle on a “fixer upper relationship” where you constantly have to change the person and shape them into your dream partner? It just isn’t worth it! I have a better idea: Why don’t you break it off for good and keep the door open for your dream partner to come into your life?

Your Partner Is Not Over Their Ex – For me personally, this is a huge deal breaker. Think about it, why waste your time dating someone who can’t stop talking about their past and is not completely over their ex? You should want to build a future with someone who is fully in the present with you and doesn’t have a lingering past that they are still currently living in. If you notice that the person you are with does not seem to have healed from their last relationship, rather than continuing to date in hopes that they will get over their ex over time, it probably is best to not invest any of your time with this person until you know that they are ready to move forward.

Lack of Trust – I think it goes without saying that you should not be with someone who you do not trust or has betrayed your trust at some point during the course of your relationship. Although you might be able to forgive and forget, it is often tough to totally trust the person again depending on the depth of deception. I also want to point out, if the person has trust issues against you with no real justification for it, this is another indication that it is not worth it to stay because you will constantly have to walk on eggshells to prove that you can be trusted which can get really exhausting over time if you’re being challenged on a daily basis.

Other Options In the Back of Your Mind – If the thought of someone else ever comes to your mind or if you would be open to giving your number to a stranger if they asked, you definitely are not with the right person. When you are with the person you truly care about, you wouldn’t look at anyone else in a romantic way. You also would not even consider giving your personal information to someone else because you are happily taken and only have love for the person you are with. If you find that you are open to the idea of spending time with another person who isn’t your partner, that should be a strong indicator that you need to break it off altogether as opposed to settling on someone who isn’t your most desired match.

You Just Don’t See a Future With This Person – Sometimes it can take time to see if your partner’s life and yours can merge into a future together. If you’re at a point where you just don’t see your life paths going in the same direction, then despite how strongly you might feel for this person, it might be better to end the relationship. For example, if your partner only plans to live in a city and you can’t see yourself making this life change, then there is no future unless one can make a compromise. In addition, if you don’t envision yourself being with this person in the next few years, you need to question the reason you feel this way and this feeling might give you the clarity that’s needed to find a better suited life partner that you can actually see a future with.

Don’t Change Your Goals – Change Your Action Plan

As we set goals throughout our lifetimes, there may be times where we feel stagnant and that they are way out of our reach. It might be easier to give up all together or to scale back our initial goals. However, you should never give up on your dreams and the things that you want to achieve. First and foremost, It is important to stay focused on the end result and to be patient with the process. Progression is expected to take time. In addition, one must examine the action steps they are taking and seeing if there needs to be a CHANGE in the actual plan. Some goals require you to think outside of the box and will challenge you to think of alternative ways to fulfill them. This is a positive thing because with added challenges come growth and ultimately the results you are striving towards.

So before you give up, please take a closer look at your approach. Your approach might just need to be tweaked a bit to get you back on the right path to manifesting your desires. People often get discouraged by how much time it can take but again, this can be expected. If you actually believe that what you want can become a reality, then naturally you will do whatever it takes to get there. So aside from time, always remember that taking action is a necessity and that sometimes you will need to change up your action plan.

If your goal is something that can be measured then I recommend tracking your progress in order to measure your results over time. This will keep you more focused and determined to actually work towards taking the action needed to ensure that you obtain your goals. We are all fully capable of making great things happen, so never lose sight of your vision or lower the standard of your goals. You just need to keep believing, take action, and switch up your action plan when needed.

How Often Should You Count Your Lucky Stars?

I often like to preach the subject of gratitude throughout my blog and it is something I think people either do or they don’t. Some people do it on a more conscious level while for others it can be done more on a subconscious level. For me personally, I believe I do it on a subconscious level on a daily basis. It becomes more of a conscious practice when I recognize that something I wanted to manifest has been received or when I’m in a bad situation where things were not nearly that bad after all and I think to myself, “Wow, I’m incredibly lucky that things weren’t worse than it is.”

So how often should you count your lucky stars? At all times! You should always be thankful for even the smallest of things. As I mentioned, even during bad times or misfortune, take the time to dig deep and find the silver lining along with acknowledging what you are still grateful for. When people complain to me about their life and what they are lacking, I will take the time to listen but then turn it around to all the things that they do have to shift their perception that life isn’t so bad after all. It is okay to vent and it is okay to feel down when things don’t seem to be going your way; however, it is essential to remain positive and know that things are going to get better.

I always like to point out that being grateful attracts more abundance into your life. Do you think it is a coincidence that some people always seem to have everything going for them? Absolutely not. This is not a coincidence, these are the people who are practicing gratitude and are thankful for what they have which allows for them to be in constant receiving mode from the Universe to keep on receiving. It is an amazing spiritual process that anyone can pick up if they possess an abundant mindset that is open to infinite possibilities and opportunities.

I cannot stress enough the importance of counting your lucky stars, in other words, simply being grateful as often as you can! For those who have trouble doing this or find that they naturally complain more than they practice gratitude, then I recommend creating an actual Gratitude journal. Each day, take the time to write some things you are currently grateful for. It can be general like, “I’m thankful for my loving family and good health” or something specific such as, “I am grateful for being given a potential new job opportunity and acing my interview today.” The great thing is, there’s no such thing as a wrong answer and this is totally personal to YOU! You get to choose what resonates most with you and what you are most appreciative of. Once you get into this practice, you might no longer need to physically write things down as it will become a habit over time that will sink into your subconscious mind. Whatever system that works for you, just do it–it’s never too late to start!

If Someone Walks Away – Let Them Walk

I know I have written something along the lines of this topic previously and it actually to this day still receives the most amount of hits on my blog. It is rewarding to know that people find the message to be valuable and one in which I could only hope that people apply to life and take seriously. Basically the message is this: If someone walks away, let them walk. On the surface, this might come across as harsh or unnecessary. However, it is necessary if you want to move forward within your personal life and start a new chapter that leads to freedom and happiness along with a better future. TOO OFTEN I see people chasing after people who will never value them in return or are holding onto a false hope that their ex will miraculously walk back into their lives again and that they can just “live happily ever after.” Although there might be instances where an ex comes back, usually it is just for the short term because the initial problems that existed tend to arise again because they were never fully resolved the first time.

I understand that there are various reasons to explain why people can’t let go. Many people want to try and make things work because they simply aren’t over the person but it is important to know that time does heal everything. You need to provide yourself ample time and space away from the person to move on. I also recognize that for some, people stay with someone out of convenience and comfort; however, that is never really the right reason to keep a relationship because that essentially is just settling. There are also people who believe that they will never find a better match for themselves but that is definitely not case as I already know that this person is not a good match if they cannot even reciprocate their love for you in return. Regardless of the reason, the outcome still has not changed: The person walked away. Think about it, why choose someone who does not choose you in return? That in and of itself should be the strong deciding factor in your mind as to why you do not want to be with this person either.

It is for this reason why you should develop an ‘all or nothing’ mindset when approaching your personal relationships. If someone is not investing their ALL in you, then you should want NOTHING from this person in return. Please stop settling on someone who is inconsistent with their intent in regards to being with you or someone that’s here today but gone tomorrow. You want to be with someone who is showing up everyday and is there for you through the good and the bad and more importantly, accepts you for who you are. People tend to hold onto any form of validation that exists (even when it is minimal) to justify why they like the person or to create a strong belief that this person likes them back. [On a side note, some people are just genuinely nice people which might make them appear as though they are attracted to you but that should not be confused with them having mutual feelings of romantic interest. It is possible for someone to be extremely nice to you but not be interested whatsoever].

As incredibly hard as it might be in the beginning to let someone go in its entirety, just know that you are doing the right thing for both yourself and the other person. In order to make this a smoother process, you have to remember two things. One–You deserve to be with someone who isn’t going to walk away from you. Two–You need to truly believe that a better suited partner exists. Many seem to forget that there are plenty of options in the Universe and that this one person is not the only person whom you will form a connection with. It is essential that you keep your mind open to the possibilities and in your heart know that you will find everything you are looking for and much more. There is no reason to turn back so just let the people who walk away to completely walk away from you so that you can clear the path for the right person to walk into your life. ❤

Reflecting on 9/11 – 20 Years Later — A Revelation on Perception and a Deeper Appreciation for Life

I remember last September in 2020 thinking to myself, I cannot believe that the 20 year anniversary of 9/11 is a year from now. Fast forward to 2021 and the 20 year anniversary since the series of terrorist attacks against the United States is now just days away. It has been weighing on my mind quite heavily since the start of September which is why it only comes natural for me to take the time to write about it. I am still in disbelief that this tragic event had happened then and now two decades ago. Backtracking to 20 years ago, I was only in high school–old enough to process what happened but too young to truly understand the severity of the event and its impact not only on those directly affected but the historical impact it had on the entire world. Little did I know then, what I do now is that I was experiencing a significant moment within modern day American history. Who knew that this was a day that forever would be acknowledged on its anniversary each and every year? Who knew that this was a day that many people will never forget where they were at the time that it happened?

I remember vividly being in a Psychology class and having the TV on to see live coverage of the World Trade Center going up in flames (one tower followed by the second one less than 20 minutes later) which initially appeared to happen quite mysteriously before later discovering the terrifying truth. What I don’t remember as clearly is my actual reaction to what I was seeing. Of course there were a range of mixed emotions and immediate feelings of shock, fear, sadness, and uncertainty. However, as I think about it today, I came to the revelation that although our perception may fundamentally stay the same, it often can change a great amount as we age and go through more life experiences. In this specific scenario, my perception from then to now is the same in that the way in which I felt about what had happened on 9/11 is very much how I feel about it now. However, what has changed is that I care more about it now than I did then–now that I’ve experienced 20 more years of life since it happened. I actually have taken the time to watch some TV documentaries and done my own research on the event where it is like experiencing it all over again with a new set of eyes. I know much more about it now and have seen even more footage as compared to when it was unfolding on television. When you are young, your mind is still developing and your perception is bound to change over time. I actually empathize on a higher level and imagine what it was like to be personally affected by the events of 9/11. Twenty years ago, despite always having the capacity to empathize, it was not at the same intensity because I was too young to really relate to what was going on or understand how traumatic it actually was.

As much as I am one to leave the past in the past, I recognize the importance of reflecting on the past as a way to measure our own self development and to shape the future. After 9/11 occurred, you better believe that airport security was increased in hopes of preventing anything as detrimental to ever happen again. At the time, I believe people began to value their life more and not take a single day for granted as the realization that tomorrow is never guaranteed was proven on September 11, 2001 when thousands of innocent lives were lost. Even though I was much too young to really acquire this takeaway at the time, it is something I think about twenty years later–to appreciate life and be thankful for each and every day.

Why Honesty Is Always the Best Policy – Even When the Truth Hurts Sometimes

As the common saying goes, “Honesty is the best policy.” While not everyone might believe this to be the case, I think it is important to consider the benefits of being honest. To me, I look at honesty as a way of displaying authenticity as an individual while also being transparent. Transparency is an incredibly important trait because it is valuable knowing that what you see in someone is truly how they are. However, you will tend to notice that many people are not always true to themselves or that they lack the ability to be honest with others. Even though we understand that being honest is a positive characteristic, why do people often struggle with this?

I think what prevents most people from being transparent with their interactions with others or from being completely honest is that they fear that they can hurt people’s feelings within the process or that people will dislike them for it. What people need to understand is that you are actually HURTING people when you are dishonest as opposed to being honest. Perhaps initially, someone might not react favorably when the honest truth is negative; however, you are helping someone by providing the truth, even if the truth can hurt sometimes. In addition, you are gaining someone’s trust and respect when you opt to be honest. Trust me, I never like to hurt people’s feelings either but I recognize that it is a huge injustice to someone if I were to sugarcoat the truth or lie to someone as a way to protect their feelings. It is important to always look at the bigger picture and know that being honest builds trust and that the truth is of higher value in the long run despite any immediate tension or discomfort that it could cause from within yourself or onto someone else. Given the choice, remember to choose honesty because it truly always is the best policy.

“Your Direction Is More Important Than Your Speed”

I actually came across this quote on an Instagram caption and liked it enough to google it first to see that it is an actual quote. The quote is, “Your direction is more important than your speed.” I could not agree more with this. I feel like we live in a world where everything is about instant gratification and everyone is in a rush to get what they want right now. What people do not understand is, many amazing things take time and the process should NOT be rushed. What is the point in moving fast when you’re not going in the right direction?

There needs to be a greater focus on DIRECTION. As we all know, life can go in many directions. Where do you want to go? Is your life going in that direction? From there, if you are following that path, you need to trust that you will get to the end result or achieve that goal. Once I commit to the direction that I am going, there is no need to be asking “when” because I know that I am on my right path and understand that everything that I desire to manifest most will happen…when it is supposed to. People often stress over time and not having what they want at the time that they want; however, that has the opposite effect on your outcome. Why? Stress and lack of trust are both negative energies to put out into the Universe. Positive energy requires CERTAINTY (again trust) on your end along with PATIENCE (not worrying on the speed in which it happens).

I recognize that certain things in life require deadlines and that can be expected. However, also keep in mind that not everything has to have a deadline. As I said before, many of the greatest things in life do indeed take time. The process in getting there is even more enjoyable when you take the time to actually appreciate it as opposed to rushing to the finish line.

Future > Past = Your Future Is Always GREATER Than Your Past

There are many people who are stuck thinking about their past or wish they could go back to a certain time of their lives. I suppose that it is normal to feel this way at times; however, we have to understand that life is always in motion and that it is always moving FORWARD. I thought of an easy equation that applies to life:

Future > Past

Your future is always greater than your past…

If you understand this golden rule of life, you will always feel invigorated thinking about your future–as you should! I want to emphasize that I am not promising a perfect future or saying that there aren’t going to be setbacks along the way. Of course, there are ups and downs within everyone’s life but understand that sometimes you need to go through the bad times to get to even greater times. The reason being is that you grow from these experiences and become stronger along the way.

Personally, I never get stuck in the past. Why? As I mentioned, I genuinely believe that the future is always greater than the past. There is so much to look forward to during the course of our lifetimes and many life experiences we have yet to experience. Isn’t it exciting to think about the FUTURE and where it could lead? 🙂

Why Modesty Is Attractive and How to Practice It

I find modesty to be an incredibly admirable and attractive quality to possess and something that people should really try to practice more. Why? When someone is modest, they are not showy (aka a show off) and do not find the need to boast or brag about anything. I also truly believe that most people who are modest genuinely have a strong inner confidence and self assurance about them. Think about it, if a person is smart or good looking or some other desirable trait, they KNOW this already–so why do they need to outward say so? In other words, why state something that is obvious to themselves (and perhaps the outside world)? Whenever I hear someone have to literally state, “I’m really intelligent” or “I’m very successful,” there’s a high chance that this person actually isn’t or doesn’t think other people feel this way about them so they need to sell this idea in hopes that others will buy into it and perceive them as an elevated sense of self even though it is probably far from the reality. The other alternative is that this person feels they are lacking in other areas of self so they only want to focus on boasting about their positive attributes to compensate for what’s missing. Regardless of the underlying reason as to why a person feels the need to brag or show off, it just is NOT attractive nor is it necessary because as I said, people who are modest will not declare their positive qualities so explicitly.

To practice modesty, I recommend being mindful of how you portray yourself to others. I am not saying that you need to hide your achievements or how awesome your life is or that you can never talk up something that you are proud of. Of course it is natural to do this and I encourage you to do so when you feel it is justified; however, it is important to NOT constantly do this because it comes across that you are in constant need of validation or that you just like to brag about everything. In addition, it can sometimes make you appear like a narcissist–which I don’t think anyone finds attractive. A good example of this is when you see someone post a risqué photo on social media. Now on the one hand, if someone is proud about how they look, I don’t have a problem with that whatsoever. However, if these are the only types of photos that this person chooses to post then it just shows that this person not only needs a lot of attention to feel validated but that this person is far from modest. If someone already KNOWS they look good, then there’s no need to constantly sell this to the outside world. They know it, they own it, and they don’t have to over expose themselves to get the point across. Again, this all comes back to the point that it is important to be conscientious of how you display yourself and I don’t mean just physically but in all aspects of your life. You can still be a high value individual without being a show off about it. If you are modest, you actually heighten your value and attraction level because you convey a high confidence level which is always attractive.

Create Happiness by Chasing What Makes Your Soul Happy

While there are those who may have more naturally happier temperaments than others, I think it is up to us as individuals to generate our own personal happiness. The things that make me happy are probably going to be different than the things that make you happy. So rather than trying to do what it appears everyone else is doing or doing things that generically are supposed to create happiness, I have a better idea. Take a moment to really ask yourself: What makes your soul happy? I mean seriously think about it. Whatever that comes to mind and I am sure there could be quite a list of things that make you happy, it is now time to take it a step further and actually chase the things that make your soul happy.

To this day, I will never forget a moment of solitude I had in my apartment at some point during my last semester of college where I was experiencing happiness on a really deep personal level. I remember I was completing an art project in my room while listening to some really good electronic music (as FYI, this is my favorite genre of music). I just remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I am truly in my happy place–being in a state of creation and listening to really good beats.” Amazing how the simplest of joys are the greatest joys, isn’t it? 🙂

For me personally, going through college on an academic level was very mentally draining. I always enjoyed going to school but when I hit college, I always felt as though I was out of my element and quite frankly–I was tired of having to constantly study and take tests. The thought of dropping out was never an option that crossed my mind because I was committed to finishing my Psychology degree despite what my plans were after college. I discovered the best way for me to get through college was to fill up all of my free electives with art classes. Although it would most have “made sense” for me to go to graduate school upon my undergraduate studies if I wanted to continue my academic path of pursuing Psychology, I decided I was going to go to makeup school instead right after graduation. I had no idea if I was making the right decision but what I did know at that time was that this decision ignited excitement as to where my future was going to go. I also knew that my soul was very happy choosing to go in this direction although I was unsure if I was going to like makeup artistry on a professional level, let alone be good at it. Circling back to that moment in my apartment working on that art project, despite any feelings of uncertainty I had in regards to radically changing my professional path in life, I knew at the same time that I was making the right decision because it just felt so good inside to be doing at that very moment what I loved most–CREATING. It was the validation I needed in knowing that this was a step in the right direction because I knew that I was pursuing something that would ultimately make me happy.

Everyone’s road to happiness is going to vary but you should always be in the driver’s seat to determine where your personal road leads. I think people are very often concerned with what they feel they “should be doing” or what others are doing but you should really just be focusing on what you’re doing and chasing all the things you love to ensure you are happy because that’s what matters most! On a final note, I look at it like this: We all have one life to live, so why not make it a happy one? 🙂