My Thoughts on Privacy and Trust Within Relationships

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When it comes to trust, I have always preached that I believe that trust is a choice. In other words, you have control of who to trust as opposed to just equally choosing to trust or not trust someone. At the same time, you also have the choice in which you want to keep your own privacy. It is your right to keep something private if that is what feels most comfortable to you.

Within any relationship, the goal is to form a bond where two people feel they can trust each other while also respecting each other’s privacy when asked for it. It is a form of manipulation if someone guilt trips you into telling them something or doing something out of your comfort zone by saying that you should automatically trust them. It can take some time for someone to be able to trust so it is important to respect that and to have patience. No one should take this too personally because trust is something to be earned. It is okay to inquire about the other person’s reasoning if you are concerned about there being a lack of trust but the best thing to do is to be both receptive accepting of their response as opposed to being reactive, upset, angry, and/or disappointed. A negative response can result in resentment along with more reason to be distrustful.

Also keep in mind that if you are in a situation where you feel the need to overstep boundaries and betray the person’s trust such as going into the other person’s email, text messages, social media, etc. then that means you have very little trust in this person and it might be a good time to reconsider keeping this person in your life. On the other hand, maybe this is a time to dig deep from within to see what would provoke you to do this. Did someone betray your trust in the past? Do you have a problem building trust in general? If it stems from an insecurity or paranoia on your part where the other person did not do anything wrong or signal that something was wrong, then this is something that you might need to work on. I think going behind someone’s back to look through their stuff is a betrayal of trust and it can be expected that any trust that was in place could be at risk of totally being broken and could also create a wall between you and this person. It is understandable to be curious or to question a person’s intentions from time to time but it is much better to approach a person with your trust concerns than going ahead and investigating on your own and betraying someone’s trust in order to provide you security or to confirm any suspicions you might have. Remember that with trust, it is both give and take. In order to receive trust, you must be able to give the other person your trust in return while also taking the right actions to prove that you are a trustworthy individual to begin with.

How to Build Attraction Without Playing Games

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Oftentimes people are under the impression that you need to play games in order to build attraction or to allow for someone to develop stronger feelings for you. While on the surface, there might seem to be some truth to that, the truth of the matter is, when you are looking to establish a genuine connection with someone, the good news is that you will find that you do not need to play games in order to become closer to this person. The progression should come naturally because the connection is MUTUAL. This is the key to any healthy relationship that most people tend to overlook. When you are more into someone than they are into you, this can cause the need to play games when ultimately it is actually a game over from the start and it is best to move on to find someone who likes you just as much as you like them.

Actually Be an Attractive Catch – I know this might seem like an obvious thing in terms of building attraction but you would be amazed at how many people do not put in the work that is needed to actually be a catch. While this can apply to the physical outer appearance, I am more referring to the spiritual value that you add to a relationship. Many people have a high bar of what they want and what they find attractive in a partner but then they have very little to offer in return. The problem with this is that by setting unrealistic expectations, you will always be left disappointed. That is why it is a necessity to put even more energy into developing yourself first before going out and trying to find someone that you are trying to attract. You need to be attractive in order to attract others–plain and simple advice that should go without saying but is still good to reiterate.

Be as Authentic and Honest from Day One – People often feel that they cannot be themselves from the start because they are afraid of scaring the other person away which causes the person to play games to earn the other person’s attention. The problem with this tactic is that you are not being your authentic self if you feel the need to play games. It is much wiser to be honest and express your thoughts at all times. If this scares the person away, then that should be seen as a GREAT thing because this means that they were not meant to stay in your life and you just saved yourself time that you could have utilized towards self improvement or getting to know someone who appreciates you.

Pace the Relationship and Take Things Slow – It is natural to fall for someone instantly but keep in mind that it could take the other person a longer time to feel the same way while it is also important to not let infatuation hinder you from making the right dating decisions. In other words, it is easy to be attracted to someone but once you actually take the time to get to know the person, you might find that the person is not as attractive to you as you had thought upon meeting each other. Some of the very best relationships move at what appears to be a snail’s pace but there is nothing wrong with that! As the common expression goes, “slow and steady wins the race” and this definitely applies to relationships. It is better to pace the relationship and not rush the process as opposed to playing games or trying to manipulate the other person into liking you.

“The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It”

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While most people are familiar with the quote, “the grass is greener on the other side,” I recently discovered a better quote. “The grass is greener where you water it.” Many people seem to think that the things they don’t possess are better but oftentimes this is not the case. People should get into the habit of focusing on the good things that they already have while also putting their attention towards manifesting positive things that they put their energy towards. While I am all for looking for better opportunities and making life a better one, sometimes you will find that you already have it good and you just need to keep nourishing what you have.

For example, instead of saying that you wish you had a “better” body, why not put your focus on the body that you have and implement the right diet and exercise routine to get you that better body? In other words, appreciate what you have and make it better by making it your top priority to improve it. In life, we already are equipped with a lot of great things to begin with, it is just up to us to recognize this and make the very best of what we got! Also remember that gratitude attracts more abundance! So it is important to learn to be happy with what you have rather than thinking that things are “greener on the other side” or constantly comparing yourself to others in hopes that you could have what they have.

People Are Not Mind Readers – Be Authentic With Your Intentions and Thoughts

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The world would be a much better place if people actually spoke their mind and expressed themselves. I find that there are many people who shy away from the truth and/or do not say what they are thinking as they tend to think that the other person has the emotional intuition to read their minds or they simply are trying to conceal their thoughts. The truth is, most people are NOT mind readers. While some are very good at reading others and do not need a concrete explanation at all times in order to interpret someone, why create a guessing game? I think women are especially guilty of this. They have no problem venting to their girlfriends about an issue they are having with their significant other when it would be MUCH more effective and beneficial if they just told their significant other how they felt and would come to a solution much faster. Men tend to do this in other ways where they are not clear with their intentions and then women are left making the wrong assumptions about their relationship status.

People should not be afraid of being themselves and expressing their thoughts with anyone whom they are close to. It is the key to building strong communication and in better understanding one another. Although it is natural to not want to talk about things that are taboo or could potentially cause friction, it is still essential to be authentic and speak up, even if that means the truth can hurt at times or it goes against the other person’s point of view. Everyone should make a proactive effort to express themselves (again, even if it appears to be negative or bad at times) because it is for the greater good of any relationship–whether it is with a friend, family member, work partner, spouse, etc. Instead of expecting someone to instantly know why you are mad or upset, why not tell the person directly? Even someone like myself who is relatively emotionally intelligent, I would never classify myself as a mind reader and would prefer someone to be extremely straightforward with me. By doing so, I not only better understand the person much better but I also find the person even more honorable and trustworthy by doing so. That is why it is extremely important to always be authentic with your thoughts because not only do they matter but doing so will build your character in a positive way and ultimately create a stronger bond with someone.

Money Doesn’t Buy Love and Here’s Why

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People have the misconception that money buys love. In certain scenarios, maybe it does but over time, it is human nature for people to take that for granted meaning that if there is not a genuine love there, the money in itself cannot sustain the relationship in the long run. That is why it is important to not revolve your dating decisions strictly around money. Yes, it is nice to show your generosity by spending money on your significant other but there are plenty of other gestures that can show that you love the person. No one should ever feel obligated to buy their partner extravagant gifts and treat them to fancy experiences all the time in order to keep this person in their life. Unfortunately, there are many users out there who will stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons and take advantage of someone who spends a lot of money on them. Some people will proactively only date people who are very wealthy or who spoil them with lavish gifts. The question is, would the person still have an interest in this same person if they didn’t have as much money and/or did not spend it on them? If the answer is no, then it goes to show that money does not buy love.

Dating someone for their wealth is a superficial reason to stay with someone. If you genuinely connect with the person and they happen to have money, that is okay but do not ever let that be the driving factor as to why you choose to date someone. Remember that money comes and goes so while some might have a lot of money today, that does not always guarantee that they will have a substantial amount in their future. Also keep in mind that some people might not be at the financial peak of their lives at the time that you meet them so it is not fair to judge this person when this could change over time.

If people took the time to build their own individual wealth and created a successful financial path for themselves, then there would be no need to rely on a partner for their financial resources. This should be the ultimate goal so that one can be financially independent with or without a partner and when the time comes to build a serious long term relationship, you have something to bring to the table as opposed to relying on the other person to have to provide everything financially. A healthy partnership should be a good balance of give and take. It should not be a one sided relationship as that can deteriorate more easily over time.

How to Save Hundreds of Dollars – A Money Saving Tip That Many People Overlook

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When people talk about saving money, people think of the basic things such as cutting back on how often you go out to eat and/or pick up a coffee, shop when there are sales, focus on just buying your daily necessities, and one that many people dread to hear–create a monthly budget. While these are all great starting points when it comes to saving your money and things that I agree will help you save more money from month to month, there is something that people often overlook and never really talk about but it comes down to your consumption of your resources. The good thing is, this can apply to many things in your everyday life and it is never too late to start!

Think about it, if you used a smaller amount of your daily goods, you would not need to replenish them as often. This could include basic items such as your skincare products, shampoo, makeup, etc. If you used just a little lesser of an amount of these items or perhaps they are items that you use sparingly, then they would last you for a much longer time meaning that you wouldn’t need to buy them as frequently.

While I would agree that going out to eat can be costly, you can still treat yourself to a nice meal but that does not mean that you need to go overboard and buy an appetizer, main course, drink, a dessert, and etc. Maybe just getting a light appetizer and a drink is enough where you feel satisfied. Another thought is to get a meal that provides a large quantity and plan to only eat half of it so that you have the other half to take home which would provide you a second meal. This way, you paid for one meal but it will last for two meals.

When you are home, do you pay attention to the energy that you are consuming? If you are not using a light, then shut it off. The same also goes with your water usage where you can control how much you are using. If you do not really watch much TV, maybe it is a good idea to cancel your cable package or reduce it so that you just have the basic channels. In other words, there is no need to pay for more than what you need.

While many of us rely on cars to get to work, there are still ways to cut back on your gas costs. Maybe when you run your daily errands, try to coordinate it where the locations are within a closer distance to each other so that you are making fewer trips. If there are scenarios where you can carpool with someone, then you should. There are definitely little ways in which you could reduce your gas usage which could save you extra money each month.

At the end of the day, making the conscious effort to conserve your resources could literally save you hundreds of dollars in a month and within the course of the year! While it might take some discipline on your end, if you actually take the time to pay attention to how you use your resources and cut back on the areas that you could, you would be amazed with how you are are able to get more bang for your buck on your daily expenses. Even if you have financial stability or you are in a good financial place in your life, who doesn’t want to expand their savings even more and accumulate more wealth? Some of the wealthiest people who you know are wealthy because they know the secret of cutting back on their spending and already have applied these habits in order to increase their wealth. Again, if you can save more, why not? 😉

Let’s Talk About Sex – The Taboo Subject That Couples Should Be Talking About

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I just realized that this is the first time that I am blogging about this subject matter but I suppose it is because it is considered to be a rather taboo subject: SEX. Yes, I said it and honestly, this is a topic of discussion that should not be so taboo, especially within a serious relationship. However, I find that most couples don’t feel comfortable talking about it. When people are getting to know someone or perhaps have been in a serious relationship with someone for quite some time, it is common to be talking about things such as their professions, aspirations in life, goals within the relationship, their past, financial situation, etc. Yet, you never really hear people say that they talk about sex which still should be considered to be an important topic of discussion within any relationship. Why? I hate to say this but the truth of the matter is, not everyone is sexually compatible with their partner and/or might have totally different perspectives when it comes to sex. That is why it is ESSENTIAL to talk about these things when you are trying to get close to someone whom you genuinely care about. While it might be awkward, it does not have to be. It can be discussed once there has been a foundation of trust built or when you personally find the time is right. There is nothing wrong with talking about it and it could actually bring two people closer together.

Here are a few sexual topics to consider bringing up…

– How important is sex to you within a relationship? (Aka is it a necessity or you don’t really need much of it to be in a happy relationship?)
– What are your sexual preferences (aka what feels good to you most)?
– What are your sexual boundaries (aka what are things that you are not willing to perform)?
– What were your worst sexual experiences if any?
– How often do you enjoy sex in order to be in a sexually satisfied relationship?
– Do you have any sexual fantasies, if so, what are they?
I just listed a few things that I could come up with although I am sure the list can go on and on just depending on your curiosity level and your desire to connect with your partner. As I mentioned previously, everyone’s sexual perspectives and preferences can vary–and can vary significantly. You cannot assume that everyone has the same sexual expectations and desires as you or anyone who you knew previously because sex is a personal and private thing depending on the individual. I can share from personal experience (without giving away too many details) that I had previous relationships that I broke up because the sexual component of the relationship was NOT in alignment with what I was looking for. While most people assume that sex is always a great thing that is meant to bond two people, I do not believe this is always the case and it can actually have the opposite effect where you find yourself less attracted to the person over time.

If you are in a situation where you do not feel the sexual connection is bringing you closer to the person, it is worth considering moving on. I suppose this just depends on how much you prioritize sex within a relationship but generally speaking, you should NOT be settling on a relationship that is not providing you with what you define as a sexually satisfying relationship because trust me, there is always a better suited match out there and you probably just haven’t found your soulmate just yet but don’t give up–the Universe has got you. 😉

Success Starts With Your MINDSET – So Make It a Strong and Positive One

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While success can look very different from one person to another and an individual’s level of success can be a combination of various contributing factors–there is no denying that one of the most important aspects of elevating success stems from a person’s MINDSET. Your mindset guides your beliefs, work ethic, discipline, your life’s path, and so much more. If your mindset determines that you are destined for success, then you are already on a good path to getting there. If you do not believe that you are capable or deserving of a great life full of abundance and success, then unfortunately, you are less likely to attract that into your life.

Remember that everything starts with your mind. That is why it is up to you to consciously generate positive thoughts and to build a strong mindset that propels you to accomplish everything that you want to accomplish in your lifetime. It is natural to feel down at times and/or to experience fear but never let the negativity overthrow your mindset. If you personally do not believe in your own success, that is a setback that you need to work on overcoming. It is important to recognize this so that there is room for spiritual growth and to allow for you to make the internal changes that are needed in developing a better mindset.

At the end of the day, success starts with YOU and how you THINK! 😉

Don’t Let a Scarcity Mindset Ruin Your Dating Life

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There are many factors that can hinder people from having a successful dating life and one of the biggest that I see are those who possess a scarcity mindset. What is a scarcity mindset and how does it apply to dating? A scarcity mindset stems from the thought that there are limited options and that there are not enough resources to go around. So as a result, a person with a scarcity mindset believes that they must hold onto dear life everything that they have because something else might not come their way. I can assure you that this is extremely far from the truth! Let’s not forget that we live in an abundant world with lots of opportunities which means that you should never settle upon anything and this is especially true when it comes to dating!

Here are the most common things that I hear people say and I am here to tell you that this is NOT the way to think because it is coming from a place of scarcity when you should train your brain to live ABUNDANTLY.

“I am not happy with my current relationship but I do not think that I could ever find someone again.” – This is a horrible way to think! This essentially is saying that it is okay to settle for unhappiness because there is no hope in finding someone who could be a better suited match. I do believe that two people can find a healthy way to make things work within a relationship but at the same time, if in your heart you know that this is not the one, it is not wise to keep the relationship going just because you do not think you could find someone better. You won’t know unless you break off the relationship, put yourself out there, and explore other dating opportunities.

“I do not think that I will ever find someone this good so I will do whatever it takes to keep them in my life, even if that means that I have to make personal sacrifices that I am not happy about.” – This to me not only conveys that this person has a scarcity mindset but it also shows that this person holds onto many insecurities. I say this because a secure person would not feel they have to bend over backwards just to keep someone around and would want an equal partnership. Someone who is very insecure might feel they have to do a lot in order to compensate for what they are lacking inside and feel that they will only be loved if they go above and beyond for the other person even if that means that the other person is not reciprocating and treats them as a doormat.

“I am never going to find anyone so what is the point of even looking?” – Wow, I do not think it could get much worse than this! This is such a depressing way to think and goes to show that a person that thinks this way is not thinking with an abundant mind. A person with an abundance mindset would know that there is someone for everyone and that they will eventually find their match because there are plenty of people they could connect with and potentially date.

3 Fitness Tips That Worked For Me That Will Get You In the Best Shape of Your Life

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When it comes to health and fitness, they always say to eat a nutritious diet and to find time to exercise. While these are a great set of general advice to follow, it is important to determine what that means for you in particular (ex: what are your fitness goals?) and finding ways to maximize your results. Is there a way to take these basic tips a step further? Of course the answer is YES! I will share a few things that dramatically made a difference for me this past year alone and habits that I will continue to follow.

Incorporate a Healthy Balance of Natural Foods Within Each Food Group – When finding the right diet, there are so many different diets that exist and many are very restrictive where they eliminate certain food groups altogether or they just are not realistic because of all the food sacrifices that are needed to be made in order to follow the diet. BALANCE is the key to most things and I find with diet, this applies as well. In the past, I would try doing mostly an all protein diet or focus on fruits and vegetables but it took me time to realize that it is important to really eat a nutritiously dense mix of foods from ALL food groups. Even if the foods seem to be too calorically “heavy,” remember that the right foods are the building blocks to muscle growth so being too restrictive with your food choices could actually be setting back your workout results. It is for this reason that you should be focusing on having a good mix of everything (ex: healthy fats, carbohydrates, proteins, etc.).

Find More Challenging Exercises to Add to Your Daily Routine – As they say, “if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” and guess what, this also applies to exercise! Last year, I decided to join a Barre Studio because I knew that the workouts were challenging in which the moves in the class were things that I would never push myself to do at a gym. I committed to taking the class 4-5 days a week and after just a couple of months, I already noticed it made a difference! This was the push that I needed to take my workouts to a different level. While I am not saying that you need to specifically join a Barre Studio, I am just recommending finding something that truly challenges you and pushes your limits if you are looking to see lasting results.

Weight Training Everyday Is NOT Necessary to Get Results – Oftentimes, people think that the more that you workout, the more beneficial that it is for your body. I used to weight train almost everyday but learned that just incorporating a few weight training sessions a week is just as effective and perhaps more effective so that it gives the body ample rest time in between the workouts to rest. It also keeps the body guessing and not too used to performing any particular movement at any particular time. I noticed that cutting back on the strength training workouts did not make me weaker in any way and also did not ruin my progress. So do not feel that you have to weight train a crazy amount of time in order to maintain a healthy and toned physique.