How to Set Healthy Boundaries Within Your Personal Relationships

It is important with any personal relationship, to set healthy boundaries from the very onset of the relationship. By “personal relationship,” I am not referring strictly to romantic ones but also friendships, family members, and professional relationships within the workplace. I think too often, people don’t really set their standards and expectations too concisely so it is easy for someone to feel like they are getting taken advantage of which is why it is beneficial to be mindful about how to set healthy boundaries from the start.

Communicate and Be Honest – It is most essential to be concrete when expressing to others what your boundaries are. This can be done with your words or your actions and sometimes a combination of both. If someone does something that bothers you, then you need to speak up and convey that to the other person. No one is a mind reader which is a reason why it is important to tell someone immediately if there is an issue so that it does not become an ongoing problem. Being as open and honest as possible is a good thing and one should never feel that they have to hide what they are feeling in order to maintain a relationship with the other person.

Apply Consequences When Necessary – Sometimes consequences are needed in order to shape a person’s behavior and show how you expect to be treated. I would consider this to be a tough love tactic but one that often works because most people don’t really learn a lesson unless there’s a consequence in place. I am not saying that you need to stoop to their level but find a way to implement a consequence and see if the other person’s behavior changes for the better.

Be Willing to Walk Away – The other person will always have the upper hand if you settle and tolerate their bad behavior. If you have the ability to walk away, you gain respect and send the message that you are not putting up with anyone’s nonsense. Although taking time away from this person might be temporary, it might be a good time to assess if you should remove yourself from this person altogether. People come and go and sometimes you have to weed out the bad ones who don’t have a place in your life to begin with.

Why Are People Quitting Their Jobs at Record High Numbers?

There is no denying that the ongoing pandemic has impacted many people one way or another–both for the good and the bad. One area that has heavily been impacted is one’s employment status. In the very beginning, many people found themselves without a job and might have had to collect unemployment for the very first time in their lives. Many were also furloughed for extended periods of time but eventually were able to be brought back to work. Depending on the industry, there were also people who have been working from home and haven’t set foot into an office since or might be easing back into working in person again just a few days a week. What many would not have anticipated is that while things are slowly getting back to some sort of new normalcy, many people (Americans in particular) are quitting their jobs altogether. I recently had read a statistic that 4.3 million Americans had quit their jobs this past August 2021 which is approximately 3% of the American workforce. While that might not seem too high, it is still alarming considering that this seems to be the new trend and more people are choosing to leave their jobs in its entirety.

One initial factor that comes to mind as to why this is happening could be the vaccine mandate which has put people in a position where they are forced to quit their jobs due to a lack of personal choice. However, surprisingly, this only accounts for a very small percentage of people who have left their jobs. Another thought might be that the generous unemployment benefits that were given out during the pandemic have also made it very easy for people to essentially get paid to stay home as opposed to going back to work. However, these extended pandemic unemployment assistance (PUA) benefits had been terminated in certain states a long time ago or had just ended this past September which means that people are no longer collecting large sums of money from the government anymore. So why are people still choosing to not go back to work?

During these times of uncertainty, I think people have been reflecting on their lives on a much deeper level and have really taken the time to examine what brings personal fulfillment. For many, work has consumed a good majority of life which can leave people to feel burnt out over extended periods of time to the point where people need to find a way to catch a break and there seems to be no better time than right now. I have written in the past about how having a lot of money might seem great but when you don’t have the free time to enjoy life, money does not hold as much value as TIME in my opinion. As I have also recently wrote about, you can always make money but you cannot always make up for lost time–as we all know how fast life passes us by.

Quality of life is essential yet so many people [unfortunately] let their jobs rob them away of this basic need and key to happiness. I think people are realizing now more than ever that quality of life is simply more important than work. While we need a stable job for basic survival, sometimes it just is not worth it if that means losing sleep, added amounts of stress, lack of flexibility, lack of family time, feeling unappreciated, menial wages, and so many other drawbacks. After awhile, enough is enough already.

If people find themselves reaching that breaking point, then yes–it’s time to quit and press the restart button. By restart, I simply mean to consider pursuing a new career path that will ensure intrinsic satisfaction and be in alignment with one’s life purpose. Perhaps restart could mean leaving the work force for an extended period of time to enjoy a hobby, spend quality time with family, or to travel the world. Everyone’s situation is different but at the end of the day, no one should be settling on a miserable work life. It is much better to look into starting over or to take a well deserved break. I think that the pandemic along with the current statistics are consistently showing that more people are coming to this realization and need to figure out a new game plan for life which ultimately is a positive thing.

“The Only Difference Between a Good Day and a Bad Day Is Your Attitude”

I am not sure exactly where this quote came from but I read it and knew it was not only something I agreed with but something that I wanted to share in my blog: “The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.” Basically, everything always comes down to your mindset and keeping your thoughts and reactions to everyday life as positive as possible. Of course there are going to be what appears to be bad days with setbacks, misfortunes, etc. but at the end of the day, you have the choice in how you deal with it. Some days are always going to be better than others but a positive mindset can help by allowing you to cope with things more effectively and preventing yourself from feeling down.

The next time you have a “bad” day, try to find the silver lining and do not let it get the best of you. It’s okay and normal to feel sadness, pain, frustration, and other negative feelings from time to time but ultimately you need to look at the greater good and know that everything is going to be okay. You are also increasing your mental strength when you choose to not let negativity (in this case in the form of a “bad” day) deteriorate your mind. Remember, it is always within your control the way in which you manage your emotions and how you decide to react to daily life which is why it is incredibly important to keep your attitude a positive one! 🙂

Do Compliments Build Attraction? – (Yes and No)

When people take the time to give a compliment, it typically is received positively by the other person because it is acknowledging something great about them and is a way to express admiration. I would say that most of the time, compliments are a good thing and can definitely be used to build attraction because most people feel good when someone gives them a compliment. People tend to become attracted to those who give them a good feeling about themselves. So the short answer is, yes–compliments can absolutely help in building attraction. However, there are definitely instances in which it might have little to no effect on someone or maybe even have the opposite effect.

If someone receives a compliment from someone who they do not think too highly of or don’t really like, then the person might not even care so much about it or might actually be annoyed by it. I say annoyed because if the person feels that the other is saying it to express interest and the interest is not mutual, then the compliment will not be viewed in a positive light. In these type of scenarios, I would say that it is not really worth going out of your way to compliment the person and that it is important to find other ways to build a genuine connection or perhaps find someone whom you naturally connect with instead of trying to impress someone who is not that into you from the start.

In addition, people who are used to hearing the same compliments throughout their lives might feel indifferent towards a compliment because it is nothing new to them. For example, if someone is a talented musician, telling them this does not hold too much value because they might already know this to be the case or they just hear it all the time so it is not very special to them. On the other hand, if you find a way to validate the person for something that people don’t comment on all the time, then your compliment will go a long way.

Overall, compliments are definitely a good thing and can be used as a way to signal interest in someone but keep in mind that sometimes a compliment simply is just a compliment–so one should not read too into it and just take it at face value. If one is trying to use this technique as a way to get someone interested in them, it is important to not rely on this tactic alone and to find other ways to create natural attraction. I always like to remind people that what works on one person might not work as successfully on someone else so it is important to make an effort to get to know someone on a deeper level in order to really understand someone’s likes and dislikes.

Why I Don’t Take Social Media Too Seriously – What You See Is Not Always What You Get

It is hard to imagine there was once life before social media. Actually, I still remember living life without internet and without a cell phone–what simple times. Fast forwarding to today, there are multiple social media platforms that allow us to stay digitally connected with the outside world. While some feel pretty attached to social media and there are some who have a social media addiction, there are also people who don’t even have a social media account or don’t feel the need to utilize it all too often. Personally, I don’t really care about social media all too much. Perhaps when it first came out, I was more into keeping a social media presence and posting photos from special events and from my traveling adventures. As I have gotten older, I have found myself more and more detached from updating my personal accounts and even more detached from seeing what people are up. So what changed? For one, I feel that social media has changed drastically since it first came out. Nowadays, people use it as a place to share anything and just about everything without a filter or a thought as to how it can affect others. As a result, this can create a lot of negativity and I just don’t like to invest my energy into bad energy. There are so many sources I can pick up positivity and social media is not really the place I go for that. Although there are some positive posts I come across every so often such as a birth announcement or a miraculous achievement, I rather get this information from a person directly as opposed to a public digital announcement.

Besides the underlying negativity that exists, there’s also the opposite extreme where people just post how amazing their life is. What many don’t seem to realize is that most people’s lives are not as picture perfect as they appear to be. Of course people want to showcase their very best lives but the reality is, what you see is not always what you get. A person can profess how happy they are in a relationship but behind closed doors, the couple could be going through couple’s therapy or on the verge of breaking up. It is for this reason why I don’t take what I see all too seriously because it is a small scope into one’s life and could easily be very far from the truth.

While many might look to social media and then begin to compare their own life to someone else’s, I think people should stay more focused on their personal life path as opposed to making comparisons to others–especially knowing that what they are comparing it to is probably not even that accurate anyway. I always preach that people should stay in their lane and work on bettering self. There is no need to wish for someone else’s life but to focus on manifesting everything that you personally desire and knowing that you already have everything that it takes to create the life that you want. At the end of the day, who really cares what everyone else is doing on their social media stories and posts? We should all care more about living our own life in the present moment without feeling the need to scroll through people’s digital lives on a regular basis.

How to Make Fitness a Part of Your Lifestyle

Many people understand the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle and why adding physical exercise into their daily routine is important but not everyone takes the time to make it a part of their lifestyle. I understand the reason for this is going to vary from person to person but can range from simply not liking to exercise or perhaps living a busy life where it is hard to make the time for it. Whatever the case may be, the good thing is that any little bit of exercise that you do is always going to be better than doing absolutely nothing. So you can start very small and eventually progress over time. If creating a fitness routine is totally new for you, then it can be expected that you might not be doing much in the very beginning and that’s OKAY! As long as there’s a start, you can always build better habits as time goes on. You might now be wondering, “Well, how exactly do I get started?”

Find Physical Activities That You LOVE – Not everyone loves going to a gym but thankfully a gym membership is not a requirement. You can easily workout in the comfort of your own home or find sports/physical hobbies that you enjoy. If you participate in activities that you actually want to do, then it will not feel as much like work.

Set Fitness Goals and Write Them Down – If you have fitness goals that you are looking to achieve, then take the time to write them down. It is good to have goals because this can motivate you to actually take action to achieve them. For example, your goal might be to weight train for three days a week at 30 minutes a session. Once this becomes a habit, you can then reassess and create more challenging fitness goals.

Hire a Professional – It is a valuable investment to hire a professional to teach you how to train properly or if it is a sport that you are looking to get better at, then this is also a good reason to look into hiring someone who can up your skill set. Some people might feel intimidated or that they can’t do a certain physical activity but with the right professional help, there is an opportunity to grow, learn something new, and/or improve from where you started.

Plan Ahead by Creating a Consistent Fitness Schedule – By creating a fitness schedule in advance, you are adding concrete blocks of time within your day/week to work out while also holding yourself accountable to sticking to a fitness regime. It’s okay if it varies from week to week depending on your schedule as long as you are making some type of commitment each week. In other words, it is not as effective to have four days in a week that you work out followed by two weeks of inactivity before you get back on track again to your initial schedule. This plan lacks consistency which means that it is not much a part of your lifestyle. It is more preferable to maybe start with two to three days a week and commit to that rather than fitting in random work outs sporadically throughout the month.

“You Can Always Make Money But You Can’t Make Up for Lost Time”

The death of Gabby Petito had not only made headlines nationally but also worldwide. Gabby’s life was cut short at the age of 22 years old and she was sadly found dead in an area out in the Bridger-Teton National Forest in Wyoming. Her death was confirmed a homicide and is a tragedy that continues to draw media attention. At her funeral, her stepfather Jim Schmidt had said, “You can always make money but you can’t make up for lost time.” This quote resonated with me and I am sure many people can agree with this. As much as we dedicate our lives to our careers and working lives, at the same time, we have to realize that there is more to life than just working and making money.

I had recently wrote an article this past summer talking about this exact topic. As I have gotten older, I definitely value quality of life (aka my personal time) over money. That’s not to say that I don’t work as hard but what it does mean is that I make an effort to make time to do the things that I LOVE! I never want life to pass me by and look back wishing I had done something that I really wanted to do. I truly do try to live life in the present as best as I can. I think everyone should take the time to pursue their interests and as the title of my blog states, Make up the life you love.” I am not saying that work is not important or that we don’t need money. I just believe that we should find a balance where we have a healthy work life along with a healthy personal life filled with whatever makes our life feel most complete. 🙂

What to Do When Someone Tries to Make You Jealous

There are going to be times when people go out of their way to try to make you jealous, whether it be intentional on their part or sometimes it could be done inadvertently. Whatever the case may be, there are different approaches to handle these situations. Every situation is situational in that it depends on the person (such as someone close to you or someone who is more of an acquaintance) and if it was an action or maybe a comment said to you. Regardless, first and foremost, never let someone get the best of you and give it no serious thought. In other words, just dismiss it as opposed to thinking about it to the point where it will bring you down. From there, you have some options as to how you want to go about it in terms of dealing with the person who is trying to make you jealous.

Ignore It Altogether – If someone is trying to make you jealous, chances are that this person wants to impact you negatively or wants to evoke some sort of reaction out of you. It is for this reason that it can be better psychology to just ignore it completely because the person will eventually give up this behavior if they know that you are mentally strong and that it has no effect on you whatsoever. It is kind of like the expression, “talking to a brick wall” and you’re the wall where there is absolutely no response. As a result, the other person will eventually get bored after awhile.

Call the Person Out on It – If you know the person very well, I think it is okay at times to actually call the person out on their behavior as a way to correct it. Sometimes people truly are not self aware enough to realize how something they said or done to make someone jealous is inappropriate, rude, hurtful, etc. Although it might feel a little uncomfortable to confront someone, I don’t think it hurts to speak up because you might actually be doing the person a favor so that they do not continue to do this–not only to you but to others.

Consider Cutting This Person Out of Your Life – I know this sounds harsh but if there is someone within your social circle who has developed a pattern of trying to stir up feelings of jealousy onto you, I would strongly question why this person is in your life to begin with. I understand if the person is a co worker whom you see daily that it might be hard to let this person go or if the person is a family member, then this could also be a challenge; however, you can at the very least limit your contact with this person. On the other hand, if this is a person whom you choose to have as a part of your life such as a friend or significant other, I think it might be a good time to reassess if this person is worth keeping close to you.

5 Signs You’re Not With the Right Partner

When looking for a life partner, there may come times when you question whether or not you should stay in your current relationship. Although I can probably think of a more extensive list as to signs to look for when determining if it’s time to end a relationship, I came up with my top five list. The list below should help you to decide if the relationship is worth pursuing or whether or not it is meant to last over time.

There Are Way Too Many Things to Fix – If you find that you’re with someone who you want to change many things about them, this person simply is not the one. Of course the person you are with will not possess everything you are looking for; however, if the person is missing many things that you’re looking for in a life partner then you should consider moving on because ideally you want to be with someone who you can accept the person for who they are including both their good and bad traits. For example, if you can’t stand their eating habits or how they manage their money, rather than trying to change them, find a person who is more aligned with how you choose to live your life. Why settle on a “fixer upper relationship” where you constantly have to change the person and shape them into your dream partner? It just isn’t worth it! I have a better idea: Why don’t you break it off for good and keep the door open for your dream partner to come into your life?

Your Partner Is Not Over Their Ex – For me personally, this is a huge deal breaker. Think about it, why waste your time dating someone who can’t stop talking about their past and is not completely over their ex? You should want to build a future with someone who is fully in the present with you and doesn’t have a lingering past that they are still currently living in. If you notice that the person you are with does not seem to have healed from their last relationship, rather than continuing to date in hopes that they will get over their ex over time, it probably is best to not invest any of your time with this person until you know that they are ready to move forward.

Lack of Trust – I think it goes without saying that you should not be with someone who you do not trust or has betrayed your trust at some point during the course of your relationship. Although you might be able to forgive and forget, it is often tough to totally trust the person again depending on the depth of deception. I also want to point out, if the person has trust issues against you with no real justification for it, this is another indication that it is not worth it to stay because you will constantly have to walk on eggshells to prove that you can be trusted which can get really exhausting over time if you’re being challenged on a daily basis.

Other Options In the Back of Your Mind – If the thought of someone else ever comes to your mind or if you would be open to giving your number to a stranger if they asked, you definitely are not with the right person. When you are with the person you truly care about, you wouldn’t look at anyone else in a romantic way. You also would not even consider giving your personal information to someone else because you are happily taken and only have love for the person you are with. If you find that you are open to the idea of spending time with another person who isn’t your partner, that should be a strong indicator that you need to break it off altogether as opposed to settling on someone who isn’t your most desired match.

You Just Don’t See a Future With This Person – Sometimes it can take time to see if your partner’s life and yours can merge into a future together. If you’re at a point where you just don’t see your life paths going in the same direction, then despite how strongly you might feel for this person, it might be better to end the relationship. For example, if your partner only plans to live in a city and you can’t see yourself making this life change, then there is no future unless one can make a compromise. In addition, if you don’t envision yourself being with this person in the next few years, you need to question the reason you feel this way and this feeling might give you the clarity that’s needed to find a better suited life partner that you can actually see a future with.

Don’t Change Your Goals – Change Your Action Plan

As we set goals throughout our lifetimes, there may be times where we feel stagnant and that they are way out of our reach. It might be easier to give up all together or to scale back our initial goals. However, you should never give up on your dreams and the things that you want to achieve. First and foremost, It is important to stay focused on the end result and to be patient with the process. Progression is expected to take time. In addition, one must examine the action steps they are taking and seeing if there needs to be a CHANGE in the actual plan. Some goals require you to think outside of the box and will challenge you to think of alternative ways to fulfill them. This is a positive thing because with added challenges come growth and ultimately the results you are striving towards.

So before you give up, please take a closer look at your approach. Your approach might just need to be tweaked a bit to get you back on the right path to manifesting your desires. People often get discouraged by how much time it can take but again, this can be expected. If you actually believe that what you want can become a reality, then naturally you will do whatever it takes to get there. So aside from time, always remember that taking action is a necessity and that sometimes you will need to change up your action plan.

If your goal is something that can be measured then I recommend tracking your progress in order to measure your results over time. This will keep you more focused and determined to actually work towards taking the action needed to ensure that you obtain your goals. We are all fully capable of making great things happen, so never lose sight of your vision or lower the standard of your goals. You just need to keep believing, take action, and switch up your action plan when needed.