Failed Relationships Don’t Make You A Failure

With the end of any relationship, there can be a mix of emotions ranging from deep sadness to loneliness to emotional grief. No matter who initiated the breakup, I would say that most people usually feel down afterwards and that it is common for people to feel like a failure after any serious relationship or marriage ends. Although many people go into a relationship with their best intentions and the hopes for a long term future, it is inevitable that not all relationships are built to last forever and guess what–that’s OKAY!!! It is okay to break up a relationship if there wasn’t enough compatibility or if you grew apart or if you found yourself extremely unhappy with your partner. Whatever the case may be or whatever caused the relationship to end, it is important to remember that a failed relationship does not define you and that you should never feel like a failure because of it. It is up to you to keep your mind strong and let the time that is needed to heal so you can move on. By move on, that can mean different things to different people. For some, that might mean working on self and living an independent life. For others, that could mean finding the right life partner or companion at a later time in life. Everyone’s life journey is different and hence navigating life after a breakup is going to vary depending on one’s personal situation.

While coping with the breakup, rather than seeing it as wasted time or feeling like a failure, you have to look at the important life lessons you gained from it and utilize these lessons to shape you for a better future. From a spiritual standpoint, don’t question why you went through what you went through. Instead, recognize that the outcome all happened for a reason and that it ultimately had to happen to lead to the greater good of your life–which you have not even experienced yet. I truly believe that you have to go through some hardships at times to set yourself up for a better path. This is a gentle reminder that life cannot only consist of rainbows and happiness at all times. We all need to “fail” in order to succeed and this same basic principle applies to your personal relationships. While some relationships were destined to end, that doesn’t mean that you should give up on dating altogether or that you will continue to attract dead end relationships. Your mindset just needs to shift into a more positive one along with trusting that you will be okay and without a hint of doubt know that better things are on the horizon. ❤

Happy Thanksgiving! – A Time of Gratitude

Today is Thanksgiving and I did not plan on writing much because I wanted to enjoy the day with family and loved ones but I also did not want the day to go by without putting out a warm holiday greeting. If you celebrate, I hope you find a way to cherish this time as a time of gratitude. Be thankful for the people you have in your life. Be thankful for everything you have right now. Ultimately, be thankful today but everyday because there is always something to be grateful for!

Also a huge thank you to those who take the time to visit my blog or choose to subscribe and follow my posts. Blogging is a wonderful hobby but also a great platform to express my thoughts within this modern digital world we live in and to connect with others! It is a very cool extension of my life and I am grateful to have a place where I can promote positivity and influence others to live their very best lives! 🙂 Thank you everyone for reading, I genuinely appreciate the love and support–you all are wonderful and mean the world to me! ❤

Achieve a Goal? – Just When You Think You’re Done, You Have Just Begun

Throughout life, everyone should make it a point to set personal goals for themselves. After completing a goal, you might find a way to celebrate your achievements or feel an inner sense of personal fulfillment as you should. However, from there it is important to expand on your goals and/or to create new ones in order to keep progressing in life. That is why as the title states, “just when you think you’re done, you have just begun.” In other words, just when you think, “mission accomplished,” it is actually just the beginning because there is still so much to achieve within one’s lifetime!

Similar to playing a video game, we live our lives navigating from one level to the next. No one wants to stay on the same level forever as staying stagnant can get very boring. At the same time, it is okay if certain levels take longer to master than others because if you are blazing through too quickly, that could mean that you are not challenging yourself enough to begin with. It is important to take the time to really examine where you are right now and to more thoroughly think about what the next level or goal you are looking to achieve means to you. From there, it is up to you to take the action needed to fulfill your goals and from there plan on striving for even more. Remember that abundance attracts even more abundance which is why it is essential to always be aspiring to acquire the most out of life!

Why You Are More Desirable When You Are In A Relationship Already

Ever notice that people are more interested in you when you are already in a relationship? Then when you are actually single, these same people don’t give you the time of day? Is this a strange coincidence? No–I think not. I understand human nature enough to understand the psychology behind what is going here. This is not to say that I agree with it but it does make some sort of sense in an irrational sort of way. As I have mentioned in previous posts, love is often not a rational choice so it is not as easily within our control unless we are more mindful of our dating decisions.

Aside from this basic love principle, the main reason why people might be more interested in you when you are taken is because people tend to want what they cannot have or something that is out of their reach. In other words, if you are in a relationship, that means that you are off the market and hence more desirable because you are unattainable. When anything is unattainable, this raises its value and attraction level. Think about when you go shopping, anything that you had to work really hard to save up money to buy will always be seen as higher value as opposed to something that you were able to purchase rather easily or that was inexpensive to begin with. This is why no matter what state the economy is in, there will always be a demand for luxury goods which therefore would explain why people will continue to buy them. Are these products necessarily better? Not necessarily but our perception tends to guide us to view these name brand products to be of higher value due its higher cost and desire to obtain them.

If you find that you like someone and the other person is not single, it is best to move on and make a conscious choice to find someone who is both of high value and available at the same time. Trust me, this person exists if you believe that you can find this person in your future because your thoughts do very well become things (aka they will manifest if you think about it enough and actually believe in your thoughts). If you are in the opposite situation where you are with someone and now someone who was not interested in you is all of a sudden interested in you, then the truth of the matter is–too little too late. It is not worth entertaining this option if you are happily in a relationship because this person might not even have a genuine interest in you and only have developed an interest because you are no longer available.

The Difference Between Motivation and Commitment – (What’s More Important?)

I would agree that motivation is an important factor when determining the height of success but one cannot rely strictly on motivation alone. The reason being is that motivation is very much based upon your emotional state and feelings. Although I believe that some people are naturally born with more motivation than others or were pushed to become motivated at a young age, the reality is that some days one is going to feel motivated while other days motivation might be nonexistent. Most of the time, I might be a highly motivated individual but that’s not to say I feel that way every single day. Motivation might not always be stable but something that is going to be more reliable is your ability to make commitments to yourself and the goals that you want to achieve in life.

A commitment is more firm and definitive than motivation is. If you choose to make a commitment towards anything that you are passionate about, you are on the right path to success because you set a defined intention and made a decision in regards to your desired outcome of life. It is for this reason why it is important to think about what you want most and from there, make a commitment to yourself that this is the way in which you want to live your life. This is why vision boards and writing down concrete goals on index cards are extremely effective tools because they serve as a visual road map of your intent along with demonstrating your level of commitment towards these goals. While to some, this practice might seem like a waste of time or be totally bogus or futile, there are people on the other side of the spectrum who are truly devoted and committed enough to want to create these things. Why? It actually works! 😉

I Don’t Trust Dating Coaches Who Do This

Initially I wanted this blog to focus mostly on relationship topics; however, I did not want to limit myself in terms of the content as I like to cover various things ranging from health/fitness to manifestation to so much more. Although I am by no means a dating coach, I do believe I can offer valuable dating advice based upon basic psychology, examining other people’s dating lives, personal experiences, and dating coaches that I will listen to on YouTube from time to time. There are many who exist and even though some have a massive following, I don’t feel that they are necessarily the best out there. What I notice is that there are many dating coaches who gender bash the opposite sex in which I do not trust those type of dating coaches. Think about it, if you’re listening to a woman and you notice there’s an underlying pattern where she talks about how much men are useless and that they’re mostly players, why would anyone seek to listen to this person if their goal is to create a happy and healthy relationship? The same goes with male dating coaches. There are many male dating coaches who put women down and it can range from anything about a woman being too old to a woman being too young or how women keep multiple men around, cheat, and more. As a basic rule, if a dating coach puts down the opposite sex on a regular basis and that is one of their common themes, these are people who probably never recovered from their past or are just negative people to begin with.

I think if you are going to seek any type of relationship advice, you want to follow someone who actually has something good to say about the opposite sex and has a general positive outlook on dating. Relationships will have its ups and downs but at the end of the day, you still want to have a positive approach to dating. Dating coaches can be helpful but be selective in who you choose to listen to. Some have really great insight and knowledge whereas others just don’t bring much to the table in terms of providing quality advice. Aside from dating coaches, it is also helpful to rely most on your intuition when you are in the dating world and to talk to people within your support system who know you best when asking for any type of relationship advice.

Why I Love to Travel – 3 of the Best Traveling Decisions of My Life

My love for travel started at a young age in which I give credit and gratitude towards my parents who made it a point to plan at least one family vacation a year. I think being born into a lifestyle where travel was appreciated allowed for me to not only find vacation time to be a norm but also gave me an opportunity to cultivate an interest in exploring new destinations and learning about new cultures. As a child, I also developed a unique hobby where I would write to pen pals from all over the world. I loved getting to know people from different countries and learning about what life was like in various places. As a result, my passion for travel extended beyond my childhood because travel provided me a chance to actually experience new cultures as opposed to just learning about them through letters from pen pals. Although travel can be an expensive hobby, I don’t think I can ever recall a time that a vacation was a waste of money or that I regretted spending money on going away to a foreign place. I do believe that creating memories and experiences are way more valuable than spending money on tangible things. So while flights, hotels, excursions, and other traveling expenses can add up rather quickly, I can still justify the cost and believe it is worth every penny.

Although the ongoing pandemic has put a hold on travel and I have not been on a plane since March of 2020, I hope to get back into traveling again sometime in the new year. While I miss traveling very much, in the meantime, I can reflect on some of my most favorite trips and what I consider to be the best traveling decisions thus far in my lifetime.

Visiting a School Friend Overseas – (Finland – April, 2016) – One of my childhood friends was living in Finland for graduate school and at the time that she moved, I promised her that I would find a way to visit her at some point during her two year stay. Although Finland wasn’t necessarily on the top of my bucket list, I was still intrigued and receptive to going since I had a friend who was living there while attending school. To this day, I still consider Finland to be one of my favorite trips which was a pleasant surprise because I really did not know what to expect. I think it was a combination of loving the culture along with being able to meet up with a friend who could show me around which made it an extra special experience. Although I usually don’t go to the same places twice all too often, I would go back to Finland in a heartbeat and cannot wait to eventually explore the surrounding Scandinavian countries.

Taking A Solo Trip For the First Time – (Iceland – August, 2018) – I always preach how I do not believe in missed opportunities and when an opportunity presents itself, you have to take it! I was looking into go away at the end of the summer and had a few days off where I could plan something; however, none of my friends or family were available to travel during the days that I was free. I was looking into going to Iceland and was lucky enough to find inexpensive flights for the dates that I wanted to go. I decided I was going to go anyway, even if that meant going by myself. The idea of exploring a foreign place was exciting and I was up for a solo adventure. I talked to a few friends who had gone on solo trips before and they all highly recommended going because when you go by yourself, you have the freedom to do anything and everything on your own terms. Iceland is a beautiful place and is another destination that I would definitely plan a trip in the future but next time would want to experience it with my significant other, specifically the Blue Lagoon which exceeded my expectations and was beyond amazing.

A Last Minute Long Weekend Abroad With My Mom – (Switzerland – November, 2019) – It is hard to imagine that two years ago from this time of year that I was in Switzerland with my mom considering the world has changed so much since then. We both had been wanting to plan a trip together and I was able to find a weekend that I could go away. She was open to going anywhere and Switzerland was a place I had taken a day trip once in the past when I was in Italy and knew that I would eventually want to go back to see more. Although we were only there for a long weekend, we had planned many fun activities within our stay and created special memories that I will never forget. I cannot express how thankful I am that we booked this trip because we had no idea that a few months later that we would be experiencing a global pandemic which would put a halt on international travel for awhile. It has taught me the importance of living life to the fullest and to plan vacations–whenever possible!

Is Love Sustainable? – If So, How?

When it comes to relationship success, many relationships and marriages unfortunately do not end up lasting over time; however, that does not have to be the case. Of course everlasting love does exist and there are couples who stay happily together for the long hall. I think people who are on the quest to find love are in hopes to find one partner to spend the rest of their lives with; however, a “happily ever after” ending does not always end up being the outcome. One has to wonder: Is love sustainable? – If so, how?

Mutually Make the Right Choice – The most important part of the love process really comes down to making the right life partner choice and really thinking about whether or not you see a future with this person–while also keeping in mind that this choice has to be MUTUAL. Too often I see people in a one-sided relationship from the start where one person is really into the other and the other person simply isn’t as invested or is just settling. As essential as it is to choose who you want to be with, the other person also needs to choose you in return and equally want the partnership. If you suspect that you are with someone that isn’t as into you or vice versa where in your heart you do not really love the person as much in return–please do everyone a favor and break it up before it gets too serious. This is why people need to truly follow their intuition better and do the right thing by ending a dead end relationship which will also keep the door open for a better suited match to come into your future when the time is right.

Put in the Work – Relationships like anything else in life require WORK and again, TWO people have to put in the work in order for the relationship to be a successful one. When you have one person putting in all the effort while the other person doesn’t, the relationship is bound to fizzle out over time. You need two people proactively doing what it takes to keep the relationship going which also includes having the capacity to make sacrifices when necessary for the greater good of the relationship. It is important to keep in mind that in the very beginning of any relationship, things are very easy and two people tend to be in what they call a “honeymoon phase.” After this time passes is the best time to determine whether or not you both want to work towards building a future together or not.

Communicate with the Same Love Languages – I’ll be honest, I was not familiar with the concept of love languages until much later in life. When I was first exposed to it, I questioned how important this really was in a relationship because I thought every love language was somewhat essential. Then I realized that people express love differently through various love languages and not everyone has the same love language preferences. This would explain why many couples feel out of sync and their love fades over time because each person communicates love in contrasting ways to begin with.

Natural Compatibility – Natural compatibility should not be confused with natural attraction. Attraction of any sort might catch one’s eye in the beginning but if there isn’t natural compatibility to back up the attraction then the attraction most certainly wears off over time. Of course, there is no denying that attraction is important but I think people often overlook the actual compatibility aspect of the relationship and don’t take the time to examine whether or not they are truly compatible with the other person. Compatibility can include your value systems, beliefs, lifestyles, and overall how you each fundamentally function as people. When two people have natural compatibility, there are less arguments, problems, and conflicts because both people see eye to eye on most things. Ultimately, natural compatibility is ideal for developing a healthy relationship and definitely the foundation of any long lasting partnership.

Happy Election Day – Why Voting Matters

Today is election day and while it is everyone’s personal choice whether to vote or not, I encourage people to take the time to cast a vote and let their voices be heard. I know many people might think to themselves, “I’m only one person, my vote doesn’t really count.” My dad was actually someone who felt this way and used to never vote because this was his thinking. Over time, he realized that this was not the right mindset to have, especially considering he was someone who held strong political opinions and very much cared about election outcomes. Personally, I understood the importance of voting at a young age because of an American History class that I had to take in high school. My teacher explained, “If most people don’t choose to vote, then the minority ends up controlling the majority.” In other words, every single vote counts and the more votes the better because if many people didn’t choose to vote, then yes, the few votes that were cast would hold much more weight and would control the community as a whole even though not many participated in the voting process.

It is common to hear people complain about how bad things are in today’s modern society but what many don’t realize is that we each have an opportunity to make a change with a single vote. Of course it is going to be based upon the most popular vote and your choice might not get picked by the majority but that doesn’t mean that you should not vote altogether. Remember that your vote not only represents your personal political view but also has the capacity to impact others including future generations. So don’t hesitate to vote, no matter what the outcome is, your opinion counts today and always will!

How to Train Yourself to Make Healthier Food Choices

As the saying goes, “You are what you eat” and I couldn’t agree more with that statement. What we choose to eat each day not only impacts our overall health and well being but also influences our mood, energy levels, performance, longevity, and our quality of life. I don’t like labeling anything as “common sense” because I recognize that what is common to one might not be common to another but I think most people would agree that they know the benefits of making healthier dietary choices yet so many people don’t consciously follow through with it. I understand that food should taste good but why can’t it be both tasty and healthy? Given the choice, I tell people that I will always choose to eat something based on the health value over how good it tastes because the long term effects of eating the right foods outweigh the instant gratification of how good something tastes at that present moment. However, as I just mentioned, you can still choose to eat things that you love to eat and that are healthy at the same time. You can also treat yourself every so often to really delicious and decadent foods within moderation. If you currently don’t have the best eating habits, the good news is that there is always room for change and that change can start after reading this blog or whenever your mind is firmly set to make the changes that are needed to adapt healthier eating habits into your lifestyle.

Stock Up on Healthier Foods – I always say, out of sight, out of mind and this most certainly applies to food too. I like to have a concrete grocery shopping list before I set out to the supermarket so that I know exactly what I’m looking for and keep the list filled with both clean and organic foods. I try to avoid buying unhealthy foods and snacks because if I have access to them in the comfort of my home, then they are in sight which will make it more tempting to want to eat them. Of course it is okay to have some treats but I recommend finding healthier alternatives or to buy them less frequently so that the few times that you buy them, it is truly a once in a while treat.

Meal Prep Each Week – When you take the time to meal prep and plan out your daily meals, this allows you to be in control of what you eat in terms of the type of meal and the portion size. It is smart to buy containers and fill them up accordingly with a good healthy mix of foods and nutrients. If you are stuck with coming up with healthy meal ideas, you can easily research what others make through a google search or places like Pinterest and Instagram have plenty of resources to use as a guide.

Eat Out Less Often – Even though many restaurants provide healthier meal options on their menus nowadays, it is still hard to know how healthy the meal truly is. There is often a ton of hidden fats, sugar, and other unhealthy things added to make the food taste extra good but obviously aren’t good for you, especially when eaten in excess. For example, an innocent salad can end up having a lot junk in it by the time all the fixings and dressing are added on top. My point is that meals that appear to be healthy on the surface might not end up being as wholesome as you think. If you cook more at home, then at least you know the ingredients and what exactly you are eating as opposed to a restaurant where you are unsure of what the meal actually consists of.

Learn How to Study a Food Label – It is important to familiarize yourself with food labels and compare them when you are shopping for products. For example, it is beneficial knowing the serving size because although it might come in a single bag, you cannot assume that it is one serving. Other areas that I like to pay attention to are the actual ingredient list to see if the ingredients are mostly natural with little additives and artificial ingredients along with the amount of sugar. There are many foods that you would not think have a lot of sugar but actually do which is why it is good to look at how many grams of sugar are in a serving. In terms of the calorie count, I am not as concerned with this number because sometimes high quality foods are higher in calories whereas foods marketed as “low calorie foods” are not necessarily as nutritious as they want consumers to think they are and tend to be created with a lot of fillers and unhealthy ingredients.

Track What You Eat – Often I emphasize the importance of tracking things down which helps by literally keeping you on track but most importantly by making you stay accountable for your actions which in this case is monitoring your food choices. Even someone like myself who already prioritizes living a healthy lifestyle and is very disciplined can benefit from tracking what I eat. I find that when I take the time to list what I eat each day, I am more aware of what I’m eating along with how much. This practice personally helps me stay focused and mindful about making healthy choices each and everyday! (Trust me, it works)!