Category Archives: Personality

Navigating Expectations Within Relationships – Why It Is Important to Find a Healthy Balance

Leave a reply

When it comes to expectations, I find that people tend to either set them too high or too low. It is definitely good to set expectations in general as opposed to not setting them at all but there is such a thing as setting expectations that are too high. When it comes to personal relationships, it is important to make a conscious effort in finding a healthy balance with your expectations. It is natural to place high expectations on a new relationship or when you meet someone new whom you really like. While you might have a mental checklist of exactly what you are looking for in a mate, the reality is, no one is perfect and no one is going to fit every single item on your checklist. That is why I emphasize that the key is BALANCE when navigating your expectations or otherwise you are always going to be left unhappy–no matter who you’re with.

I recommend taking the time to develop a realistic list of expectations of what matters to you most but to also keep your mind open to other people’s differences. While it is great being able to find a person with many similarities, sometimes contrasting traits will enhance the relationship and still ensure that there is compatibility because they will compliment each other. A common example of this is if someone is more extroverted, this person will tend to connect better with someone who is more introverted. When developing any healthy relationship, it is essential to have the capacity of adapting to others while also being flexible. As I mentioned previously, being too rigid and/or setting your expectations too high will typically result in major disappointment and unhappiness which all could have been avoided.

If you do find that you are dating someone who doesn’t meet any of your expectations–in other words, this person has more negative qualities than positive qualities, then you have every right to want to cut your losses and move on. There is no point in settling with being someone who does not live up to any of your expectations and mislead the other person into thinking that you are invested in the relationship when you already know ultimately that you are not interested due to unmet expectations.

Self Confidence Is Based On YOUR Personal Beliefs Above Anything Else

Leave a reply

Self confidence can come from various sources and change throughout the course of your life; however, there is no denying that self confidence will naturally manifest from within if you do things that align with your belief system. For example, if you believe that education equates to success, then you should take the courses needed to help you progress in your career which would ultimately make you a successful person over time. Everyone’s personal values and beliefs are individually selected so it is important to establish what you find most important and then take the action that is needed to possess those qualities. Another example might be prioritizing a fit and healthy physique as something that makes you feel confident. If this is important to you, then you will naturally be inclined to work out and implement a healthy diet in order to get the results needed.

While many have a belief that what others think of you matters, it is important to develop the mindset that you are a high value individual and can generate your own self confidence no matter what other people do or say. When you genuinely possess high self esteem, your belief about yourself will never be impacted or changed. Why? Your confidence levels and self worth are not determined by the people around you and come from within which is ultimately a positive thing. You want to get to a place in your life where you do not care what other people think of you because how you feel about yourself is what matters most. That is why it is important to pursue things that bring you both joy and confidence which are in alignment with your beliefs. If you are unhappy with yourself and your life, it is time to dig deep and make some serious changes. You need to first focus on what you want and from there, actually implement the changes needed while working on developing the characteristics that can allow you to become the person you want to be. Keep in mind that it is important to want to make the changes for yourself and not because someone is pressuring you to be a certain way or to please others. Always let your intuition paired with your belief system be the guiding forces of your life and you will be on a spiritual path to growth and acceptance of self.

Is There Such a Thing As Being Too Possessive?

Leave a reply

It is natural to be with someone and feel possessive of them because of your commitment and loyalty to this person. This can be a positive thing but it is important to keep an eye out when you are feeling overly possessive of the person or perhaps someone is being too possessive of you. It is important to be consciously aware of this because being too possessive within a relationship can easily turn into a toxic one. To prevent this from happening, it is important to establish healthy boundaries from day one. If you are dating someone and they do not let you do basic activities by yourself like going to the gym or hanging out with a friend, this is definitely a red flag that should not be ignored. You might want to question the cause of this or you might decide that this isn’t the relationship for you.

Typically, if you notice someone is overly possessive, it can stem from deep insecurities or trust issues. For example, someone might feel that the other person can easily steal their mate away which would explain why there is this need to be overly possessive. Even though it might appear very irrational to feel this way, for someone that is insecure, this is a common fear that usually doesn’t go away. On the other hand, someone might have been cheated on previously which would explain why there would be trust issues moving forward. This would also cause someone to be very possessive in hopes of never being cheated on again.

No matter what the cause is, as I mentioned previously, it is important to be aware of this as an issue. While being possessive might appear as though the person is extra caring, it can later turn into manipulation and controlling behavior where the person needs to know your every move in order for them to feel secure within the relationship. This is not healthy and it is important to confront the issue immediately. If the person is not receptive to changing or understanding how it can be a problem in the future, it might be wise to end the relationship altogether.

10 Ways to Boost Your Attraction Level That Are Unrelated to Your Physical Appearance

Leave a reply

When people think of someone who is attractive, the first thing that often comes to mind is basing their attraction level based on their physicality. While there is no denying that looks are a factor in determining a person’s attraction level, the truth of the matter is, that is not the only factor. That is why when I see a person go through drastic measures to change their looks (ex: plastic surgery), I feel that this person has a false sense of reality in thinking that their looks are everything while also seeing this as a sign of low esteem. I do not want to generalize and say that this applies to all individuals but oftentimes, you will find that these are the underlying internal issues. There is nothing wrong with caring about self care and one’s appearance. When it becomes an issue is when a person has unrealistic expectations and cannot accept both their flaws and assets. As I mentioned previously, there are so many attributes and characteristics that can make someone incredibly attractive that goes past what reflection is seen in the mirror. Although there are probably hundreds to thousands of attributes, I came up with a short list of 10 things that came to mind.

Setting Aspirations and Goals – While most people might not place a ton of emphasis on goal setting, I find people who are goal oriented to be extremely attractive. It is more attractive to me to see someone investing their money and energy into their goals as opposed to their vanity aka their physical appearance. People who like to set goals tend to be self motivated, disciplined, and ambitious which are all extremely desirable and attractive qualities to have.

Possessing Healthy Habits – By possessing healthy habits, that does not just refer to health and exercise habits, it can apply to having any healthy habit that is beneficial to one’s soul and well being such as great sleep habits, work habits, etc. It is attractive to meet people who have good habits in general because they could be a good influence on yourself to develop better habits as well.

Pursuing Your Passions and Hobbies – It is refreshing to meet people who have defined passions and hobbies in life because it makes them more interesting. When people do not have passions, it can make the individual rather boring and unattractive.

Having a Fulfilling Career – I specifically mentioned a “fulfilling” career because this will ensure a higher level of happiness and personal fulfillment which ultimately is more meaningful in the long run. When someone has a career that they love and are good at, that is attractive. Usually with a fulfilling career comes both success and money which are all attractive things associated with a rewarding career path.

Being Genuine and Authentic – Authenticity is attractive because that means that what you see is what you get. The person knows how to be genuine and authentic which also shows that this person does not feel the need to be fake or to act like someone they are not. More people should adapt this quality not only to develop a stronger sense of self but also to enhance their attractiveness.

Reaching Financial Stability and Independence – I did not specifically use the word “rich” because it should not be about how much money someone has but their ability to be responsible with it and have complete financial independence. It is unattractive meeting someone with a significant amount of debt and/or money problems because this shows a lack of discipline and poor money decisions.

Having Similar Interests – As they say, “birds of a feather flock together” which would explain why it might feel natural to find someone with similar interests to be attractive. I believe sharing interests can bring people together whether that is a friendship or a personal relationship which is why having similar interests can be very attractive.

A Great Sense of Humor – There is no doubt that having a good sense of humor can add to one’s attraction level. When someone has the ability to make others laugh, it makes people feel good and happy. This is definitely a positive attribute and one that many people tend to value.

High Emotional Intelligence – While many would say that intelligence is attractive, there are so many different ways to define a person’s intelligence. Although book intelligence is seen as attractive and I am not taking away from this, I would say emotional intelligence is even more attractive. People with a strong emotional intelligence understand a person’s feelings and know how to connect on an emotional level. This is attractive because it’s easier to build a bond with someone who is emotional intelligent.

Believing in Self and Having Confidence – Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a person can possess. The reason being is that self confidence propels people to succeed and progress in life because of their strong belief in their abilities along with setting higher standards because they know they deserve the very best. People with a true inner confidence do not need to strictly rely on their physical appearance in order to feel good about themselves and dig deeper beneath the surface to find things that increase their confidence levels.

People Are Not Mind Readers – Be Authentic With Your Intentions and Thoughts

Leave a reply

The world would be a much better place if people actually spoke their mind and expressed themselves. I find that there are many people who shy away from the truth and/or do not say what they are thinking as they tend to think that the other person has the emotional intuition to read their minds or they simply are trying to conceal their thoughts. The truth is, most people are NOT mind readers. While some are very good at reading others and do not need a concrete explanation at all times in order to interpret someone, why create a guessing game? I think women are especially guilty of this. They have no problem venting to their girlfriends about an issue they are having with their significant other when it would be MUCH more effective and beneficial if they just told their significant other how they felt and would come to a solution much faster. Men tend to do this in other ways where they are not clear with their intentions and then women are left making the wrong assumptions about their relationship status.

People should not be afraid of being themselves and expressing their thoughts with anyone whom they are close to. It is the key to building strong communication and in better understanding one another. Although it is natural to not want to talk about things that are taboo or could potentially cause friction, it is still essential to be authentic and speak up, even if that means the truth can hurt at times or it goes against the other person’s point of view. Everyone should make a proactive effort to express themselves (again, even if it appears to be negative or bad at times) because it is for the greater good of any relationship–whether it is with a friend, family member, work partner, spouse, etc. Instead of expecting someone to instantly know why you are mad or upset, why not tell the person directly? Even someone like myself who is relatively emotionally intelligent, I would never classify myself as a mind reader and would prefer someone to be extremely straightforward with me. By doing so, I not only better understand the person much better but I also find the person even more honorable and trustworthy by doing so. That is why it is extremely important to always be authentic with your thoughts because not only do they matter but doing so will build your character in a positive way and ultimately create a stronger bond with someone.

Quiet Confidence – Why It Is Attractive AF and How to Obtain It

Leave a reply

Many people associate confident people to be the ones who make a grand entrance and/or stand out amongst a crowd. They might enjoy seeking attention from everyone around them along with being very popular. While these people can be labeled as confident, the truth of the matter is–that might not always be the case. These same people might be in desperate need of social validation in order to feel loved and good about themselves which shows that underneath the surface, they are actually deeply insecure individuals.

This leads me to the topic of what I call “quiet confidence” where someone is confident but might not come off that way because he/she does not have a showy personality and is quiet by nature. You won’t hear this person brag or try to show off to others that they are attractive, smart, etc. because they already know inside that this is the case so there is zero need to flaunt it to those around them. That is not to say that they don’t acknowledge their successes and greatness to others, it is just that they have a more modest approach to life and do not need to be the center of attention in order to raise their confidence levels. Personally, I find people who are quietly confident to be super attractive. They actually stand out more to me and pique my interest because they are not trying as hard to obtain validation from others and are not the loudest people in a room. There are definitely ways to become more quietly confident that can be shared here.

Eliminate Bragging to Others – As I pointed out earlier, a person who has amazing qualities does not need to say so because it goes without saying. In other words, let others be the ones to point out why you are awesome as opposed to trying to sell to everyone that you are because it can come off that you do not truly believe it yourself which is why you need to prove to others that you are a certain way or on the other hand, that you are a conceited individual.

Don’t Overshare Your Life – I never like to be judgmental but if I have to be honest–I find those who constantly feel the need to overshare what they are doing all the time and who go out of their way to showcase how perfect their lives are tend to either be a total narcissist or someone who is attention seeking which are both rather negative traits to possess. It is nice to share some highlights but overdoing it can come off the wrong way and also show an emotional neediness which is far from being quietly confident.

Focus on Your Own Personal Path to Happiness – People tend to be so influenced by what they see other people doing which detracts from their own personal path to happiness. You need to ask yourself, “what brings me joy?” and then actually go out and pursue those things. Who really cares what everyone else is doing, it matters more what you are doing and how you choose to steer the direction of your life! Those who are quietly confident just do their own thing without really caring about impressing others while they continue to follow their own path because they are confident about their life choices and where their personal path leads.

5 Tips for Choosing the Best Photos For an Online Dating Profile

Leave a reply

When it comes to online dating, there is no denying that people are going to scroll through your photos and base their decision on whether or not you appear to be a good match simply just by looking at your photos. Some people won’t even take the time to read your content so that is why you should put some effort in choosing the best photos that not only highlight your best features but also convey what you are like in real life. It can be hard to determine which photos are best but here are some helpful tips to help you put your best face forward so to speak if you decide to pursue online dating.

Make Sure Your Photos are Current – I personally believe that people should only post photos of themselves from the past six months. When I used to have a dating profile, I made sure everything fell within the six month mark because the best representation of yourself is your current self. How often have you or have you met someone that said that they went on a date with someone who looked nothing like their photos or that their photos looked like they were taken as far as a decade ago? I understand most people tend to look their best in their younger years but it is always best to display images that are recent so that if you ever do end up meeting in person, you are still recognizable from the photos that you shared.

Feature a Mix of Face and Full Body Photos – Although it might go without saying, many people often fail to showcase photos of themselves that include both their face and their full body. I think it is important to show both to convey transparency and so that people have a better sense of how you look if you were to meet up in person. If you are not in as good shape as you used to be, it is still better to show what you look like now than before so that the other person does not feel that you falsely advertised what you look like.

Choose Photos that Convey Your Interests – It is a good idea to post photos with backgrounds to show your interests and passions in life. For example, if you love to ski, then think about posting some photos of yourself during your last ski trip. If you love music, it doesn’t hurt to post photos of yourself from a concert that you went to. Chances are, someone with the same interests will be more intrigued in getting to know you better just based upon some of your shared interests.

Avoid Overly Revealing Photos – It is common to see people post revealing photos which can give off the wrong impression along with sending the wrong message to anyone who is looking at them. It can convey that a person is attention seeking or just looking for a cheap hook up. Even if that’s not the case, unfortunately, that’s how it can be interpreted. To avoid sending mixed messages or giving off a negative first impression, it is much wiser to shy away from posting those types of photos in its entirety.

When in Doubt, Ask For a Second Opinion – If you are unsure if the photos that you are posting are good enough to post, it does not hurt to ask a friend or someone who you are close to for their honest feedback. A photo that you might find flattering, someone might point out that you can post an even better photo which is why it never hurts to ask for a second opinion.

Why I’m Not Influenced By Influencers

Leave a reply

It is funny to me that we live in a world that is so influenced by the outer world, more specifically by social media platforms. Oftentimes, people will find complete strangers and people that they do not know in real life to follow their every move. If this influencer buys a certain product, then the follower is more inclined to purchase it too. This is why there is a lot of money to be made if you are an influencer with an abundant following because companies know that their followers will most likely purchase what they promote. It is for this reason, I do not really buy into what influencers are promoting. Most of them are selling products to earn an income so who really knows if they use these products or are just talking about them to make a living.

There is nothing wrong with following people and having an interest in what influencers post on social media; however, I think people should work on their own self development and think more independently as opposed to caring so much about what others are sharing. As I mentioned previously, it is hard to really know if they are sharing content to make money or from a genuine place. It is much better to follow your natural inclinations and to think for yourself than to put all your energy into what other people are doing. Think about what your goals are and what makes you happy because that is ultimately what counts most above anything else. At the end of the day, be your own influencer and stay true to your values, desires, and path.

You Can Be Both Smart AND Beautiful – You Can Actually Be ANYTHING

2 Replies

Sometimes you hear people say that people can either be intelligent or attractive but why can’t people CHOOSE to be both? I emphasize the word “choose” because it is up to us as individuals to determine what our best qualities are. Even if other people might not perceive you to be a certain way, what ultimately matters most is how you perceive yourself. For example, you might not be someone’s type look wise but does that mean that you are not attractive? Absolutely NOT! Of course you are! The key is to train your mindset to truly believe that you are! 😉 Remember that your thoughts do become things so if you believe that you are a certain way, then you will possess these qualities because your mind determined that they are indeed factual. This goes for intelligence and pretty much any desirable quality that is out there. Just because someone doesn’t classify you a certain way, that should not be an indicator of your authentic being.

When prevents people from being the best version of themselves is a weak mindset paired with a lack of confidence. If you recognize that you do not think very highly of yourself, the good news is that there are ways to change that and like most things in life, it is never too late to start! The best way to change your outlook is to create positive affirmations for yourself. These can be written down on index cards and read aloud as a reminder. This might sound like a silly thing to do but that is how manifestation works is by repetition and a strong focus on a desired outcome. It is amazing that when you are consistent and persistent, the internal work that you put into your self development actually transforms into a reality. Ultimately you can be ANYTHING that you want to be as long as you are in control of your mind and you are always striving to be the best that you can be! 🙂

Why I Find Astrology Absolutely Fascinating – Does It Matter in Forming Relationships?

5 Replies

While many might have mixed views on astrology, I actually find astrology to be very interesting and insanely accurate. When I say astrology, I am not referring to people’s daily horoscopes in which I do not really follow horoscopes because I think we as individuals determine our destiny based upon our daily choices more than a horoscope could ever predict. However, when it comes to learning about the different astrological signs and their character traits, it is fascinating how precise they can be.

Will your astrological sign have an impact on the relationships that you develop in your lifetime? Of course people of any sign can get along with other signs but there is no denying that some signs naturally get along better than others. For example, when looking back on my childhood and my three very best friends that I met as a child–they ALL happened to be the same sign: Virgo. Their birthdays are September 6, 8, and 19. It is not like I knew a thing about astrology as a young kid and that I went up to people asking what their sign was as a deciding factor of choosing them as a friend or not. These friends that I naturally gravitated towards and developed strong friendships with happened organically. I am not a Virgo but I am a Capricorn and both signs are the same element which is Earth. If you look up traits of “Earth signs,” they are listed to be grounded, hard working, stable, and practical people. Why this matters in relationships whether it is a friendship or with a significant other is that as the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” People that naturally have the same foundation and way of thinking tend to get along very well. So while some of you may think that it is a coincidence that all my childhood friends are Earth signs like me, I do not believe that it is a coincidence whatsoever and it makes complete sense from an astrological point of view! I believe if people took some time to actually study astrology and examine an individual’s traits based on their sign, not only would they learn a lot about this person but it would explain many things such as their behavior, motivation, goals in life, and other fundamental parts of their inner being. When making friends or within the dating world, it is very helpful knowing this information to determine if you have some general similarities or if compatibility is even a possibility.

If you find astrology to be of interest, it is also beneficial knowing your birth time and location in which you can have your birth chart analyzed. This would tell you what your moon and rising signs are which are different than your sun sign aka your birthday. While your sun sign gives you a general sense of one’s personality, you can rely on the moon sign to determine a person’s emotional side and the rising sign which exemplifies how a person is on the outside such as their outward appearance. This would explain why two people who have the same birthday can still have many differences because of their moon and rising signs in combination with their sun signs are not all the same. Needless to say, when studying astrology, there are many factors that contribute to a person’s personality so while it is easy to make generalizations, there is more to the assessment than just knowing a person’s birthday. However, at the very least, it definitely is a good starting point and the information is still very valuable.