Last week, I wrote an article for women with some dating advice and decided to follow up this week with a dating advice blog for men. While certain advice applies to both genders, there is certain advice that is gender specific. I wrote previously about how women are motivated by relationships that lead to marriage; however, with men–it is safe to say that most men are motivated to connect with women on a physical level. There is nothing wrong with that but what creates a divide is when men rush that phase of the process and/or fail to focus on the emotional connection as well. Most women do not want to be objectified by men or feel as though that men are only looking to hook up with them. Many men make the mistake of coming on too strong physically whether that is with their actions or their words. This can easily turn off a woman in its entirety or she will just come to the conclusion that the guy is not a serious guy along with labeling him as a waste of her time and moving on to a better catch.
This leads to a very important question: How do men avoid this from happening and become the ultimate catch in the eyes of the woman of their interest? First and foremost, as I want to point out from the start, it is essential to actually BE A CATCH! From there, men can work on certain skills to improve their dating lives because as we all know–good looks, success, money, assets, etc. are never enough if a man does not know how to treat a woman. Men need to learn to also be patient with the process like women but for different reasons. They need to build intimacy slowly (in other words, do not rush the pace of their physical relationship) AND invest emotionally at the same time. It is possible to create genuine intimacy through physical touch such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing, hugging, etc. WITHOUT sex being involved. I truly believe that intimacy is the key to creating natural attraction and developing an attachment between two people which ultimately can lead to both a long term relationship and an incredibly satisfying physical one as well over time when it is supposed to. While I tell women not to rush into serious relationships, the same goes for men to stop rushing into a physical relationship with a woman without taking the proper time that is needed to actually get to know her and to bond with her by establishing a deep emotional connection first.
If you authentically like a woman and are pursuing her for the right reasons, it is important to SHOW her this by being consistent in your efforts when emotionally investing in her while building intimacy without pushing the envelope when it comes to having a physical relationship with her right away. This also creates trust and will make her feel more comfortable with you when she is ready to take the relationship to the next level. Even if she is open to exploring a physical relationship with you after a short time of knowing you, I still recommend denying her of sex to make it clear that you are not interested in her for a casual relationship and that you want to continue to better get to know each other first. In return, this will also earn more of her RESPECT towards you and most likely make her feel even more attracted to you (yes, it is amazing how reverse psychology often works as it does here). As always, remember to TRUST THE PROCESS because anything worth your while will take time so you might as well enjoy it while continuing to stay confident in your abilities to manifest your desires!
I am actually typing from my cell phone right now because I am away on vacation but I came across this at a boutique and wanted to share this simple yet powerful message: “Abundance is a mindset.”
I couldn’t agree more with this statement! When I reflect upon my own life and feel a heightened sense of gratitude in regards to everything I have manifested and have attracted at this stage of my life, it is apparent that I have a positive outlook along with a deep spiritual connection with the Universe.
I often preach about having an abundance mindset within my blog because I truly believe we live in a world with unlimited resources and opportunities. In order to receive, it is essential that you trust the process and believe that everything you desire is on the way and that it is attainable. If you have doubts or don’t think that your desires are actual possibilities, then you will never manifest your very best life. Trust me, if you keep your mind abundant, everything does fall into place at the right time in your life so don’t ever let negativity get in the way of that.
We live in a society that is obsessed with youth. Whether you are consciously aware of it or you are not, there is no denying that people want to stay young and that there are many out there who get depressed at the thought of aging. While celebrating a birthday should be seen as a happy milestone each year, as people get older, there are many who do not view it this way and do not enjoy acknowledging that they are getting older. While it is understanding up to a point why people feel this way, I am here to remind you that this is not the right mindset to have! I remember talking to someone awhile ago about this subject and the person was saying that people should be grateful for each year that they get to live and embrace the physical changes that come along with that because there are some people that never get that opportunity to experience aging because they passed at a young age. This was something that stuck with me because this is all very true. We all need to appreciate our lives today because there is never a guarantee that there is a tomorrow.
On a brighter note, I want to share my mindset when it comes to aging: Life should only get better with age. What I mean by that is that as we get older, we should have collected more life experiences along with heightening our very own self development. These are both great spiritual assets that are often not received until much later in life. When I look back on my youth, while I might have appeared to be at the “prime” of my life; I did not have as much then as I do today. I would still choose to be where I am at the present moment rather than wishing I could go back to my younger days because life is always moving forward and day by day, I am continuing to progress. While being younger might have its perks, the truth comes back to my mindset that life gets better with age! Remember that if you choose to think this way, you will be able to manifest much more abundance into your life and attract the positive experiences that you have yet to live! It is all coming your way if you believe that the very best is in your FUTURE and that “the best is yet to come!” 😉
Exactly two years ago, I created this blog makeupthelifeyoulove.com. I can’t believe that I have been blogging for the past couple years as the time feels as though it goes by faster and faster. I noticed that I recently have picked up some new subscribers over the past couple of months in which I want to extend a warm welcome! 🙂 If there is ever a topic or subject matter that you would like me to write about, please do not hesitate to send them my way as I am always thinking of valuable content for my readers and if there is something that is of interest to you, there is a good chance that other readers will also find it interesting.
My writing schedule has been twice a week but I decided that I will reduce it to once a week as we are moving into the summer months as I would like to enjoy more of my free time off to catch up with friends/family and hopefully get back into travel again even if that means local travel. In addition, I actually want to begin a new writing project. It has always been on my bucket list to write a book and getting into the practice of blogging has motivated me to take it a step further. I wanted to get into the habit of writing a blog as a hobby first before even considering taking on writing a book. So the extra time during the week that I usually use to blog, I want to put some of that time towards writing a book that will be a work in progress. I might not work on it consistently each day but at the very least, I want to get started and invest my energy into something that could add even more spiritual meaning into people’s lives. I appreciate all your support and loyalty thus far and I will keep you posted on my progress as time goes on. In the meantime, I will still be here to blog! 😉
I have always enjoyed playing the game chess because in order to be a good player, you need to be able to think a few steps ahead when you are moving the pieces in hopes to checkmate the other opponent’s king by the very end. I also like to play chess because I like games that involve strategy and that are mentally challenging. Does playing a game of chess apply to life? In my opinion, it very much does so!
When it comes to life, an important question that you should always be asking yourself is, “what is your next move?” This allows for you to think about your future and to plan the action steps that are needed to get to your desired outcome. If you choose to live day by day without looking at the bigger picture, you might end up staying stagnant in life for quite some time and you also run the risk of limiting your full potential. It is for this reason that you should always be asking what your next move is whether it be within your professional or personal life. It matters to focus on the direction that you want to go and to take the steps necessary to keep you on the right track. Whether it is a game of chess or your life, every move you make matters so think thoroughly and with a purpose!
One of the many themes of this blog is the topic of self love. What is “self love” exactly? I would describe self love as having a good level of inner confidence along with self respect. When you possess self love, it serves as a spiritual asset to guide your life’s path and allow for you to make the right decisions in order to live your very best life. For example, when you are dating, having a high level of self love will ensure that you are not being mistreated or taken advantage of because you love yourself enough to set the right boundaries and terminate any relationship that does not best suit you. In your professional life, self love can be used as a self motivator by pushing you to strive for everything that you believe that you deserve.
If you do not feel that you are in a good place within your life, it is a good idea to examine self and determine what areas need improvement and ways in which you can increase self love. I truly believe that if you have self love, you will pursue your life with a purpose and find genuine happiness no matter what you do in the outside world because of the fact that you feel so good on the inside. It is natural to feel down every so often but if at the core, you love who you are as a person and know your self worth, you will always rise above. This is why you have to make it a point to focus on building self love because it will not only enhance you as a person but also have the capacity to enhance your life.
People focus much of their attention on appearances and by that, I do not just mean their outward appearance such as their physical looks but also how they appear to other people. We live in a society that very much judges others based on what is seen on the exterior. I understand that it is for this reason why people put such a huge emphasis on how they come across and are seen by others in real life and on social media. However, people should really put more of their attention towards building up their substance as individuals and who they are in the inside and not just the outside.
This is why you often hear, “don’t judge a book by its cover” because there is definitely validity behind this common adage. I can think of a handful of times where I misjudged people based on appearances and I was totally wrong about the person. I am sure everyone has experienced this before for the good or for the bad. This goes with attraction too where someone might not be as physically attractive in your eyes but because the person has substance and truly is beautiful in the inside, this makes the person an attractive one despite the exterior. In contrast, you might meet someone who you find to be incredibly good looking but because there is a lack of substance and/or chemistry, you do not view the person as attractive anymore. It is kind of like an optical illusion where what you see is not what you get which is why looks really are not everything!
Substance is an asset that often is never mentioned but holds so much value and in some, is never really fully developed. The good news is that there are ways to build up substance and to make this a focal point in your self development. I believe the best way to do this is to cultivate your passions and interests on an authentic level. In other words, do not go through the motions of doing things for the sake of it or because you see everyone doing something on social media. You need to figure out what brings you joy and what are the things that you most naturally gravitate towards most. Everyone is born with their own unique set of talents, interests, strengths, and abilities. It is your job to determine what they are and to expand on them. This will not only bring you genuine happiness in life but oftentimes it will fulfill a purpose by providing meaning and substance to the core of your soul. Substance is what carries you in life and serves as a helpful tool to attract the right opportunities and people into your Universe which is why it is a necessity to possess a good amount of it.
When someone is distancing themselves from you or pulling away, it is natural to want to chase more or to try harder to earn back their validation. It is also common to see someone chase after someone they care about once the other person breaks up with them. People tend to hold onto false hope and optimism that by sticking around or by chasing the other person, this person will eventually change their mind and want to be together again or maybe build attraction again. The truth of the matter is, this typically has the OPPOSITE effect and is the wrong psychology. The reason why this is not effective is that if the other person has made up their mind already that they do not want to be with you or continue a relationship, then giving more of your attention is going to actually repel the other person and probably turn them off even more. The only way that there is a chance that things could potentially work out later is to remove your attention in its entirety and to provide them the space that they asked for. This gives the person the freedom and the time to think about what they want and the potential opportunity to miss you. That is why the quote, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” exists is because sometimes time apart is needed in order to rekindle a connection or to realize how much this person was important to them. Keep in mind that there is no guarantee that the other person will miss you but at the very least, giving ample space allows for there to be a chance for this to happen.
Aside from giving the person space, you should also invest your energy into bettering yourself and moving on completely. It is a waste of time to go after someone who doesn’t see your value or want to be with you–bottom line. You are always better off leaving the person alone which also makes it easier for you to get over the person because you took your focus away from them. Also remember that there is no greater investment than investing in yourself and that you can do this in various ways. You can pick up a new hobby, spend quality time with friends, expand your career, etc. Your time is valuable so it is best to invest your time in self than investing it in someone who does not mutually feel the way same way about you. As I have mentioned previously, you naturally become more attractive to others when you possess self love and become your very best version of self but remember that regardless, you are doing this because YOU want to and not for anyone else.
I don’t think many people would have ever predicted that they would be living through a pandemic within their lifetime. I know for me personally, it was something that never crossed my mind and now it is a life experience that we can all agree is unforgettable and one that we will remember looking back on for years to come. When I reflect about where I was exactly two years ago on March 15th, 2020–it is a day that I can reflect upon quite vividly. I was on an airplane flying from Arizona back to New Jersey. No one was really wearing masks yet and I was not so concerned about catching the virus but was more nervous about whether I would be able to fly back safely without being in a situation where we would have to be quarantined. Covid-19 was labeled a global pandemic just a few days prior and everything was beginning to shut down. I remember thinking to myself on that plane ride that I cannot get back home to New Jersey fast enough. A few days before my flight, people were encouraging me to cancel my trip altogether but I knew then that it was now or never. I am glad that I followed my instincts because I have not been on an airplane since that date and things progressively had gotten worse as time went on.
In addition to my flight home, I also had a wake to attend later that same afternoon. Everything was normal at that time as a normal wake would be but if it had occurred even a week or two later, I do not know if there would have been a public wake service at all because there was a point where wake and funeral services had to be put on hold or just not occur at all.
Although I had arrived back home safely on March 15th, just two days later on March 17th was when everything had officially shut down in the USA which meant schools, gyms, restaurants, and so much more. It is crazy to think back at that time where everyone was asked to quarantine and stay at home for so many months. It felt like there was a pause button placed on our lives yet we were witnessing on the news day in and day out how many people were suffering throughout the entire world. It was a time of such uncertainty in our lives and impacted every single individual one way or another.
Fast forwarding a full two years to where we are now on March 15th, 2022, I would say that although the pandemic is not officially over, we are finally at a good place where cases are going down and it appears that the virus has become much milder since the initial variant. It is the first time in a really long time that I feel as though we are moving towards a more “normal” life again although it might take many years to ever live a life that was close to our pre-pandemic lives. While the pandemic brought upon us many challenges and misfortunes, I do believe with that comes many life lessons. It was also a time to appreciate some of the simplest joys and to embrace those moments of solitude which might have made people feel lonely at times (myself included). As the pandemic begins to fade away, I look forward to seeing the people that I haven’t seen in a long time and I cannot wait to travel again, even if that means domestically at the present moment. Little by little, things are bound to get better again and we just have to keep looking forward with a positive state of mind.
I can tell a lot about a person’s self confidence level based on their dating choices. When someone tells me that they are with someone who neglects, cheats, and/or shares with me instances of any other extreme form of disrespect–this illustrates to me that this person does not have enough self love or thinks very highly of self.Why? When people possess a high level of self confidence and loves self, then you will find that they are not in these unhealthy relationships or bad situations to begin with. They are able to put themselves FIRST and foremost before their significant other with ease and will opt to find their very best match as opposed to dating someone who doesn’t meet their standards. They also do not have a tolerance for bad behavior or any signs of mistreatment and are ready to walk away altogether whenever they see any reoccurring red flag in a relationship.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are unhappy with your partner, it is important to dig deep and determine the reasons why you feel that way while also taking the time to look from within and examine your own level of self love. If you feel down about yourself, it might not be the best time in your life to be in a relationship. The reason being that you need to love self and be your best self before pursuing dating on a serious level. If you can work on yourself, not only are you benefiting your very best asset (that’s you) but you are also setting yourself up for attracting a desirable partner whom you can offer your best while also receiving the best in return. It is a win/win situation on both sides and the foundation of a fulfilling and rewarding relationship when you have two people who equally feel confident about themselves along with the overall success of their relationship.