Category Archives: Change

Want to Make a Life Change? – 3 Absolute Necessities to Make It Happen

Although this is the time you might be thinking about resolutions and life changes, we all know that you can decide to make a positive shift in your life at any point of the year. However, although people might have the best intentions to do so, often times people fall short by giving up way too soon, not doing anything about it to begin with, and/or were never really too serious about making the change to begin with. This is why it is important to focus on these three things to manifest the change:

Deep Desire – People want many things within their lifetime but the real question is, how badly do you really want these things? For example, many people aspire to lose weight and stay in shape. However, if you do not want it that badly then chances are, you will never get the results you are looking to achieve. A person who is serious about making a change is going to ask, what sacrifices are going to be needed to actually reach the end goal? This question stems from their burning passion from within. When you have a deep desire to achieve something, you will be amazed how much your will power will kick up to high gear along with a focused state of mind.

Belief in Self – I think the biggest setback people often face is self. If you do not strongly believe you can make the life change, think it will require too much work, do not feel you are deserving, or whatever the hesitation might be on your end, then chances are, it will never happen. This is why it is ESSENTIAL that you actually believe you can make it happen. Again, you do not need to know exactly when or how right now to get there but you need to really believe that you can acquire it. If you do not fully believe this on your own, then I recommend relying on people in your life who can positively support you and writing down some affirmations on cards that you can read daily to serve as a reminder and as a way to sink into your subconscious mind.

Execute Action – I always emphasize desiring and believing are the first steps of the process of manifestation but it cannot stop there because that simply is not enough–it is only the start. This is where you need to actually execute action by forming new habits and taking the steps needed to get to your final goal of making the life change. As a preliminary step, writing out an actual action plan can be incredibly beneficial. It will lay out a guideline of the actions needed to manifest exactly what you want. It also provides you a place to track your progress over time and check off everything you have accomplished along the way throughout the journey to completion.

If You Are Not the Person You Want to Be – 5 Steps to Get You Closer

As we step into yet another new year, we often think this is the time to come up with some resolutions with the mindset that this is going to be our greatest year yet. The truth of the matter is, our lives are constantly a work in progress and essentially a masterpiece we are creating one stroke at a time, in other words each and every day. The beginning of a new year is a great time to refocus on what we are looking to achieve while for some it might be a good time to press the reset button and start something entirely new.

Another thought to consider is, who are you today and who is the person that you want to become? After digging deep and thinking about that, the next thought is to ask yourself, how do you become that person and what is it going to take to do so? In order to become the person you aspire to be, here are five things you can do to build yourself up:

Have a Vision – Everything starts with a vision. You need to start by proactively thinking about the life you want to live including the life experiences and lifestyle you want to acquire. It should excite you just thinking about the vision within your mind, the more vivid the better.

Write It Down – As much as it is important to create the thoughts in your mind, thinking and talking about anything is not the same as actually writing it down. That is why I advise taking the time to write down in a journal or an index card specifically who you want to be and taking it a step further by planning out ways you can achieve this.

Create Affirmations – If you have never taken the time to write affirmations about yourself, this is a great time to start. Affirmations are powerful because they are statements you are declaring about yourself. Even if you do not fully believe in what you are writing right now, it will sink in your mind over time if you repeat them in order to start believing them.

Improve Your Habits – In order to become a better person or get better at anything, focusing on your habits and improving them is key. I also recommend finding a way to track your progress as this holds you more accountable and you can see your growth over time.

Study the People You Admire – Is there someone in your life whom you greatly respect or perhaps a famous person whom you admire? This is a good opportunity to learn about them by taking some mental notes on how they live their lives and then applying what they do to better your own life while continuing to look up to them as a role model.

The Power of Walking Away in a Relationship and Why It Is Often Necessary

I notice many people face situations where they are in what appears to be a one-sided relationship or perhaps a relationship that is on the brink of falling apart. Rather than walking away or giving the other person space, they chase even more which tends to drive the other person even further away. When you feel like you are losing someone, it can be a natural inclination for you to go after the other person and find ways to make it up to them. In certain situations, that might be effective but the majority of the time, there is a better solution: Walk away.

If the other person flat out tells you that they want space, that they are not interested, find ways to ghost you, send messages of uncertainty, or are already dating someone else, I think it goes without saying that you are wasting your time. I recognize that for many, when your ego is on the line and you are already emotionally too invested, this is the last thing you want to hear. You want to believe that there is still hope, that things can change for better if you are patient enough, and with a positive mindset that you have the capacity to win the other person over so that you can live happily ever after. This is where I want you to take a step back, think with a rational mind, and really dig deep to answer some important questions.

Why do you want to invest your energy in someone who has made it clear that they do not feel the same way about you?

Do you truly feel good chasing someone who does not value you in the same way you value them?

Why are you willing to settle for less than you deserve in a relationship?

The underlying issue is not the other person but more so about how you feel about yourself. A person of high self worth is NOT going to wait around for someone who is not investing in them in return. They do not need to be told twice to back off and already kept it moving a long time ago. They also know when to walk away and not come back.

Your initial thought might be, if I walk away, will the person ever come back to me? You should never have to ask this question as you should choose someone who will also choose you in return. If you do have to ask this question, then chances are you already know the answer. The other person most likely will not come back to you if they have moved on or simply are not interested. If this ends up being the case, you need to accept that as the outcome because that is the reality. There is no need to dwell on why or what can be done to change this. Instead, invest your energy in other areas of your life that will provide you a greater return and positively increase your emotional well being.

On the other hand, keep in mind that walking away can also allow for the other person to come back. It gives the other person space and time to reflect on what they want while also providing absence for them to miss you. They might also respect and value you more over time because you are showing that you are not in need of them while also respecting their boundaries. While it can be very difficult to remove someone whom you care about when all you want to do is hear from them and gain their validation, you need to trust the process that if you let them go, let them be the one to come back to you if that is what they truly want as opposed to forcing them to choose you. It is healthy and can be better in the long run in strengthening a relationship by giving each other time apart before ultimately getting back together later in time. However, you might also want to take into consideration, do you really want to be with someone who needs time apart to be away from you in order to be attracted to you and/or want to be with you again in the future? That is something only you could be the one to answer.

How to Stay on Track with Your Goals Using a Buddy System

It is really important to find people who are also ambitious, goal oriented, and strive to succeed. Not only are these good people to look up to as role models but they also can help you stay focused on your own personal goals. I recommend finding one person for this activity but I am sure it can work if you form a small group of like minded individuals who want to motivate each other to reach their goals. The great thing is that you can continue to build upon your success but you also get the opportunity to help inspire each other to do that as well. A college friend and I used to do this years ago and I reached out to him that I would like to start this weekly tradition again for the new year in 2021. I will share with you how it works.

Create a List of Both Short Term and Long Term Goals – Your goals are personal to you so they will range in terms of things that you want to get done in about a week’s time while others will be bigger and can take months to years to achieve. The important thing is to really take the time to think about these goals and write them down as specific as you can, the more details the better.
[Your buddy or people within your small group will be doing the same thing}.

Choose a Designated Day/Time Each Week to Connect – Find a time that works with both of your schedules and determine this as your weekly time to connect over the phone, Zoom, or whatever platform that works best for everyone. Once you have chosen this time, this will be the time you chat each week.

Talk about Your Progress During Your Weekly Chats – Each week that you touch base, you will share your goals and discuss the progress you have made towards reaching them. Some weeks you might not have made much progress but that is okay and you can always make up for it in the future. By sharing your goals with another person, it definitely holds you more accountable because you want to be able to tell the other person you’re doing things to make progress rather than telling them you have been slacking. Even during the moments you might be slacking, at least you have the other person to encourage you to stay on track as you would do the same and motivate them to do the same.

You Attract What You Believe You Deserve – Why You Need to Set the Bar High at All Times

Whether people realize it or not, many life experiences that we attract were manifested from the core of our beliefs. Someone who is very positive and loves their life often feel that way because they genuinely believe they have an amazing life to live. Their life isn’t exceptional by chance or because this person was more lucky than someone else. They recognize that they have the capacity to create their own luck by naturally gravitating towards the things that they love along with developing a “sky’s the limit” mindset in which anything they want is within their reach. Even people who were not born into the most ideal life situations have the power to change their destiny and still work towards living a grand life. Often times, you will actually see that the people who experienced much misfortune in their youth end up being the most determined and successful people out in the world. One might wonder, how is it possible to make a dramatically positive switch in life when it was so bad to begin with? As I point out, time and time again, it really starts with your mind first. Not mine (and not anyone else’s) because as much as I can preach this to you, if you do not actually take it seriously, then it will never hold any value or meaning.

It is for this reason that you need to set the bar high at all times. No matter what your current situation is or how unrealistic at the moment it is to ask for what you’re asking for, it is important to believe that you are capable of obtaining it in order to begin the process of manifesting it. When you believe you deserve the very best, you keep attracting the very best and in abundance. There really is no such thing as setting the bar too high in my book! Even if it appears to be far fetched right now, that does not mean it can never happen. Why? The reason being that your beliefs shift your focus into making this a reality. Let’s repeat that: Your beliefs shift your focus into making this a reality.

The same also applies to your personal relationships. If you set the bar high in this department and are crystal clear as to the relationship that you want to be in, trust me–you will not be settling for the players, manipulators, etc. because not only is it transparent that they bring nothing to the table but you also believe you deserve the very best when love is concerned. You are not giving your heart out to just anyone, nor why should you? Setting the bar high in your personal life might mean that you are left single for quite awhile but just remember that it is for the greater good and there is certainly nothing wrong with not wanting to settle. Not to mention that some of the greatest things in life are always worth waiting for.

Stop Leaving the Door Open for Dead End Relationships – 3 Ways to Keep the Door Shut

I often times come across people who are in relationships that are on and off. One moment, things are great followed by another day they are broken up. Then the next thing you know, they are back together. There are also scenarios where a relationship is not progressing in any way and it just stays stagnate. Two people go through the motions of being in some sort of “relationship” but at the end of the day either one person or maybe even both do not genuinely see a future but keep it going because they have nothing better going on or maybe just cannot handle the idea of being single. Whatever the situation may be, it is clear these are all relationships with the same outcome–a dead end.

These are definitely not ideal relationships to be in and there are ways to avoid them in its entirety with a conscious effort on your part:

Make a List of Your Relationship Goals – It is always recommended to write goals regarding your career and professional life, so why not write a list of goals in regards to your personal life? Within this list, be specific and focus on all the things you want in a relationship. Also more importantly, specify the things you will not tolerate so that it becomes crystal clear when you come across these things, you will not stay in the relationship and it becomes much more automatic to know when to move on permanently.

Set Boundaries When People Try to Come Back – It is inevitable that people will test your limitations and try to walk into your life like nothing happened. It is your responsibility to set the boundaries by either expressing that you do not want to work things out, keeping communication to an absolute minimum, or simply by stating to that person what your actual boundaries are so they do not try to overstep them. Although sometimes it can be uncomfortable, it is healthy to have a direct conversation with the other person because usually the person is not a mind reader and might not know exactly where they stand in your life.

Know When to Apply No Contact – The power of no contact is essential yet many people never apply it because they are too weak or just do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings. As drastic of this may sound, sometimes a no contact approach is the best solution for various reasons. For starters, no contact provides space in your life to attract the right relationship to manifest versus holding onto a dead end relationship which is setting back your current status along with your future. In addition, when something is over, it truly is best to keep it that way rather than constantly revisiting it knowing that the outcome is never going to change for the better or within anyone’s favor.

Struggles Give Us Strength – Why It Is Important to Embrace Challenges That Life Throws Your Way

Many people try to cut corners and find short cuts to arrive at their final destination and desired end goals. I am all about saving time and depending on the situation, I would probably encourage one to find a way to achieve something in a shorter amount of time versus taking the longer road. However, life really is about embracing the journey including the challenges that come along the way. While many may wish they had more hand outs and help to make their lives easier, this does not truly provide fulfilling happiness in the long term and does not propel you to chase life with tenacity and purpose. Think about it, if you grew up where you never had to work, every material object you wanted was granted, and you always had food along with a roof over your head, why would you be motivated to do anything for yourself? On the other hand, if you did not grow up with many financial resources, I would expect you might be more self motivated and hungry for any opportunity that comes your way because you need to work hard just to survive. This financial struggle is providing you strength because you do not have the luxury to just sit around and do nothing; therefore, you need to go out into the world and figure things out.

That is why I believe that challenges always bring an abundance of benefits such as strength because although there might be discomfort and pain at the immediate moment, over time, you are actually becoming a stronger individual. You not only have to find ways to adapt but when you are out of your comfort zone, this challenges you to expand your mind by coming with solutions along with toughening you up so you can better handle bigger challenges that you are faced with in the future. As the saying goes, “No pain, no gain.”

The next time you are faced with a tough situation, rather than panicking and thinking negatively, shift your mind into believing it is actually a good thing you are going through the experience and that it is only temporary. If you need to seek outside support, this is a good time to be doing so as there are always resources. Remember, everything at the end of the day is going to be okay and the challenge is actually for the greater good of your self development and is meant to be a part of your life’s path.

3 Ways to Become Emotionally Attached to Your Goals and Why It’s Important

If you set goals that you do not really care much about, I can safely bet that you are not very likely to achieve them. If you have a feeling of indifference towards the goal in which you do not have any emotional attachment towards or you truly believe it is unattainable, then chances are the accomplished goal will never manifest. This is why it is extremely important to form an emotional attachment towards your goals. When you become emotionally invested and actually attached to the goals that you set, you will automatically be thinking about them regularly and as you know, your deepest thoughts become things and manifest over time. That is the beauty of the Laws of Attraction, it really does work when you feed your mind with your desires and an abundance of positivity on a daily basis in order to propel you to take the action needed to magnetize what you want most. It is never too late in your life to spiritually strengthen your mindset and start attracting everything you ask for in this Universe. [Remember, we live in a world of abundance (even during times when it might not feel that way). Everything you are desiring right now is on its way, more specifically the goals that you emotionally attach yourself to. The Universe might have a stronger control of determining the when but YOU are in full control of your mind by determining the what].

So how do you become emotionally attached to your goals? For starters, how badly do you want these things? What are the sacrifices you are willing to make to achieve them? How much are you willing to step out of your comfort zone for the greater good of manifesting your dreams? Are you willing to fail in order to succeed? These are some of the prerequisite questions you need to think about prior to really setting your mind to something you want to achieve. Again, if your goal is not something you truly want or something that your mind could stay fixated on, then you won’t get to the end goal. There is nothing wrong with that, it just means that you need to really dig deep and think about what it is that you would like to accomplish in place of it. Once you do a little soul searching to figure out your goals, there are ways to now bond an emotional attachment towards them.

Write Down Specific Goals and Read Them Every Day – I cannot stress the importance of writing down your goals as detailed as possible and then actually taking the time to read them–otherwise out of sight, out of mind. Storing them in your mind is great but having a tangible index card or journal in which your goals are written down to be read is even more beneficial because it keeps you focused on them and eventually you become obsessed–aka emotionally attached. This is a good thing as it should also ignite some excitement and evoke positive emotions from within to really attain them.

Visualize It Happening Right Now and Focus on How Good You Will Feel Once It is Accomplished – If you visualize yourself experiencing the outcome of your goal, it should make you feel amazing. Maybe the process of getting there might not feel that way but once you achieve it, it should bring you ultimate bliss–so stay focused on that blissful feeling of the end result. When you envision yourself fully embracing your dreams, your mind will find ways to turn this into an actual reality because you already planted the seed in your mind that this is how your life is going to unfold. These positive emotions towards your goal will keep you emotionally attached.

Appreciate Every Little Step You Are Taking to Fulfill Your Goal – In other words, embrace the journey and genuinely cherish any minor accomplishment or stepping stone that was taken to manifest your goal. It is crucial to feel a deep sense of gratitude every step of the way. The Universe will shower you with abundance simply by practicing gratitude and being thankful. Being conscious of every moment, action, and experience associated with achieving your goal will naturally keep you emotionally attached to the point where quitting is not even an option because nothing is stopping you from reaching the end result.

Self Love is Not About How Many Selfies You Post on Social Media – (It is This Instead)

One of the many themes of this blog is the concept of self love because possessing self love is not only healthy but it will also guide you in making the right decisions in regards to your personal relationships. In other words, when you love yourself, then you are less likely to be in situations where people are not treating you right and it will become pretty automatic to weed out the wrong people from your life in its entirety. You will develop a zero tolerance for misbehavior policy because you are just too damn worth it to have to settle or deal with the nonsense (lol–heck, it’s true)!

In today’s modern culture where social media is prevalent and has become a significant part of our daily lives (not everyone of course but the majority), I find that there is such a thing as people who overshare selfies or just photos of oneself. Now if you are in a career such as a model where you are promoting yourself through the use of artistic images as a portfolio in order to collect more work for yourself then by all means, I find that it makes total sense to post them for professional reasons and I understand the logic behind that. However, most people are not professional models or are in a field that would require posting photos of oneself on the regular.

I find people who pretty much only post selfies or do so on a daily basis tend to lack self love because they are in constant need of validation from the outside world and in need of likes, comments, and attention in order to feel good or to feel relevant. Someone who has self love does not need to rely on social validation from others to feel good because it radiates from within. They know they look good already so they do not need to over project their image to the world. They seek validation in more meaningful ways than just images of themselves. Anyone who knows they are attractive or smart or whatever value they offer do not need people to be reminding them of these things. Someone who does not naturally have self love will be looking for it in all the wrong places and their validation will come from a place of neediness and scarcity.

I do not think there is any harm in sharing a photo of yourself enjoying a life experience or maybe you really had a nice outfit to share–I would just suggest to be more selective in the images you post so it does not make you come off as someone who is desperate for attention from others and that you offer more valuable substance than what you look like on the outside. Plus with all these filters and photo editing apps, who really knows if these images are truly that authentic anymore. I also believe that the less selfies you post, the more valuable it is when you actually do take the time to post a photo of yourself so make it count by limiting your selfies and by sharing other aspects of your life that don’t revolve around your image but maybe a hobby, event, destination, family, friends, etc.

The Importance of Chasing Intrinsic Happiness if You Want to Be Successful

What is success? Everyone has a different view as to what success means to them. Success to one person could mean an abundance of fortune while to someone else it could mean achieving fame or perhaps it could be a combination of both and so much more. Success can mean different things to different people. Despite success being translated in various ways, one universal principle that will keep you on the pathway to success comes down to your constant pursuit of intrinsic happiness. The reason why I want to emphasize the intrinsic aspect of happiness is because it really needs to come from within your soul (and not someone else’s). It has to be automatic, natural, authentic, and ultimately make you feel good inside.

If you are pursuing things in life for the sake the of it, everybody’s doing it, or someone tells you it is a good idea when you do not feel the same way, that does not equate as success in my book because it does not revolve around doing what brings you intrinsic happiness. For example, society likes to paint a picture of how your life is meant to play out. In order to have a successful career, you need to pursue an education by going to college. So does that mean that every “successful” career requires a college degree? Absolutely not! Especially in today’s modern world, there are plenty of ways to work towards a successful career that might not require a formal education. The same goes for marriage. It might appear that you need to get married by a certain age in order to reach a high level of success within your personal life but some people might not have the desire to get married or have a family. A person focused on intrinsic happiness while doing it solo can still have the capacity to attract success into their lives and sometimes even more so even if it appears that their personal life was compromised.

At the end of the day, you really need to ask yourself, what makes you happy from the inside out? What brings you joy and makes you feel excited to be alive? When choosing a career path that leads to success, opting for a job that guarantees a hefty salary might be a strong motivating factor but you need to also love what you do. If you dread going to work or hate your job, then maybe it is time to leave your field altogether and try something new. It is never too late to reinvent yourself. I also truly believe that whatever it is that you gravitate towards in life, the money will follow and you can make a living from it. Some paths will take longer than others but with the Laws of Attraction put into place, you do not need to worry so much about the how and when but rather trust the process by trusting what your soul is telling you to chase in life. We all have one life to live–so let’s make it count by investing our energy and time into the things that provide us a life full of purpose and personal satisfaction which will ultimately bring us a heightened level of success in all areas of our lives. 🙂