Category Archives: Identity

How to Spot a Type A Personality – 10 Characteristics to Look For

Although I think it is a little too generalized to categorize people between two groups, it is said that there are two different personality types: Type A and Type B. There is definitely a radical difference between the two with Type A being more competitive and goal oriented whereas a Type B is ultra relaxed and laid back. That is a general sense of their differences but there are definitely more specific things to look for. Type A personality types tend to possess very distinct traits that are easy to detect which include the following:

  • They are fast moving people and always on the go. They tend to also walk fast and like to maximize their time as much as possible. They have little patience for long lines, delays, and wasted time.
  • They are constantly in planning mode. They plan their every move whether it is as simple as their current day or within their future. In order to stay organized, they heavily rely on alarms, to do lists, and a personal planner to stay on track.
  • They strive to find a meaning and purpose behind everything they do. If there is no value behind their actions then they do not really see the point.
  • They are extremely career oriented and invest most of their time towards building their careers. This can sometimes mean they put their personal lives on the back burner in order to stay focused on their education and/or career path (aka their life purpose).
  • They have very little tolerance for people who are unmotivated. They do not understand this whatsoever because this is far from their personality type. Type A personality types are extremely self motivated and disciplined by nature.
  • They often times find it difficult to relax and prefer to be productive instead. The concept of relaxing could actually be more stressful for them because they feel more at ease when they are getting something accomplished.
  • They are doers and like to make things happen as opposed to being inactive . They are constantly building and expanding things in their lives which very often is linked to their career but can overlap in other areas in their lives.
  • They are super focused when it comes to setting goals and finding ways to achieve them. They recognize this often times means putting in the hard work but this is their sense of normalcy so it comes very natural for them to be hard working people.
  • They tend to be perfectionists. This is not to say that Type B personality types cannot be perfectionists as well but that Type A personalities are more prone to it because they are hyper focused on being the most efficient while also being overly critical of themselves. They feel there is always room for improvement and will strive for it rather than settling on staying stagnant.
  • They hold very high expectations in just about all areas of their lives (including themselves). This can include their job, significant other, home, etc. The bar is always set high for them.

How Tough Love Actually Instills Confidence in Children in the Long Run

Often times when people think of the concept of tough love, it can have a very negative connotation. Especially when raising children today, people put such a high emphasis on caring about how a child is feeling all the time and guarding those feelings. I think this is healthy and this is necessary for their emotional well being but at the same time, tough love also needs to be implemented for the greater good of the child.

What is tough love exactly? Tough love is the ability to say no, give consequences, apply discipline, and hold someone accountable for their actions.

It may sound counterintuitive that being tough on a child will build their confidence because aren’t their precious little souls going to be crushed if they do not get what they want and if life doesn’t go their way? In that immediate moment and the short term, yes the child is going to be upset and most likely react unfavorably. However, life isn’t fair all the time right? Why do adults create a false sense of reality for children that they can do whatever they want and get away with it? This is not how the real world works and for this reason a good dose of discipline should be enforced even if that means it is going to cause pain, emotional discomfort, and perhaps negatively affect their self esteem at that given moment. But guess what, they get over it. They cope, they adapt, and they move on with a life lesson. It ultimately builds their strength, character, and confidence.

People mistakenly seem to think that over validating a child will build their confidence. I do not agree with that approach unless a child earned a reason to be validated. Simply telling a child they are good at everything or shaping their mentality that they can do no wrong has the opposite effect by creating a sense of entitlement, laziness, and yet again, a false reality because no one is truly exceptional at everything. Sure they might be feeling good (maybe a little too good) about themselves but it will only last for the short term. If children are wrongfully taught they are “the best” at all times, it is a really rude awakening once they are out in the real world and realize they are not so perfect after all. They actually have to apply themselves and compete for things like everyone else in this world. Ouch–confidence shattered.

At the end of the day, it is okay to point out when a child is not good at something and to put them down with constructive criticism. Why? It provides them a sense of self awareness, a much needed reality check, and [hopefully] motivation for self improvement. They strive to get better at whatever it is that they are not good at or proactively find the things they naturally are good at. They work harder towards achieving excellence rather than falsely believing they are excellent for no real reason.

Tough love will hurt at times and it might also not feel good to make someone feel bad, especially a child because they are very impressionable and might not have the capacity to manage their feelings very well. However, you need to trust that you are actually building them up in the long run even if that means there are times that you are bringing them down. They become more aware of their weaknesses and limitations which provides them room to grow into stronger and more confident individuals.

You Need to Be A Catch Before You Can Catch the Best Fish

I was having a conversation with someone who needed some advice about dating and was not having much luck with it. I think the dating world can be a tough place to be in, I understand that but if you find that you are consistently unlucky in terms of finding matches or people who want to date you, then a different approach is needed. The main focus should be on yourself and what makes you a desirable person. I think often times many people set very high standards for the type of person they want to be with and can be very picky in terms of who they want to date. That is great to know what you are looking for and setting the bar; however, are you also setting the bar that high for yourself? If the question is no, then how can one expect to attract the best matches or any match to begin with?

I come across this quite often when people tell me that they cannot really meet someone and it is very obvious the reason. The harsh reality is this: The person does not have much to offer. There could be one or many contributing factors that lead me to that conclusion such as a lack of self care, unhealthy habits, no clear career path, money problems, lack of self love, etc. In order to be ready for the dating world, wouldn’t one want to be able to offer their best version of themselves to the world? The first step is to become that best version of self because in the process of doing so, I can guarantee that you will automatically without putting any effort into impressing someone else attract someone who would want to pursue you. That essentially is how the law of attraction works. You put in the right positive energy (in this case, investing in yourself) and you attract that positive energy back your way.

At the end of the day, you need to be a catch before you can catch the best fish. πŸ˜‰ This does not just apply to dating, this can apply to anything such as landing a job or receiving a promotion. You really need to focus on being a catch first and everything else will follow. You will be able to catch the best fish and by this I mean opportunities simply by putting in the work necessary to be best version of yourself. You also have to really want this for yourself before you focus on wanting to be with someone else. That should always be your first priority.

Stuck in the Past? – A Guide to Detaching and Keeping Your Eyes on the Prize (Your Future)

Many people get caught up in their past, whether it be what they miss most or ways their life could have played out differently. Although I am all about reminiscing about the good times and revisiting memories, there comes a time you need to refocus on your current reality: The present moment and planning for your future. The past can shape your life’s path but do not let it control your mind or stop you from progressing forward. Remember, it is in the past for a reason! That ship has sailed away and is ready for the next destination! πŸ˜‰

So how do you let go of the past? What are healthy ways to detach and keep things moving in the right direction?

Create a Bucket List – If you do not have one already or you have some in your mind, actually take the time to write down what you want to accomplish, places you want to go, experiences you have yet to experience, and/or whatever it is that you want to do! Some you might be able to obtain more easily while others could take many years but the value behind this is giving yourself something to look forward to for your future! It is exciting to think about and knowing you are currently on the journey to manifesting all these great things.

Focus on Self Improvement – I think that working on ourselves is a mission we should carry out throughout our lifetimes. As we age, we might physically and mentally feel like our youth is slipping away but this does not mean that our lives have to be going downhill, heck it should be getting better. We need to find ways to make improvements and upgrades in our lives by setting higher bars and goals to achieve. There might be instances where we face bad times or unfortunate life circumstances but we have to stay committed to getting things back on on track and making gradual improvements.

Take the Time to Reflect – Everything in life happens for a reason. It could have been for the greater good of tomorrow and/or to serve as a life’s lesson. The past cannot be erased and I would never encourage someone to erase it from their minds in its entirety or to suppress the emotions attached to your past but to take the time to reflect on these thoughts and feelings. You can reflect by asking yourself these questions: What did you learn from this past experience? How can you become a better person from it? You can answer these questions by talking to someone you trust who will genuinely listen to you or maybe self reflect by writing in a journal. I think it is healthy to reflect on the past individually or even with others but to then leave it where it belongs–in the past. This takes mental effort and patience but by practicing mindfulness, it is quite achievable.

I want to end by saying, “The best is yet to come.” Frank Sinatra might have sang about it but there is much truth to this if you choose to actually believe in it. There are many things you can look forward to but it all starts with you. The greatest thing you can do as I stated in the title is to keep your eye on the prize which is your future. Take the necessary planning steps needed and get excited for what is in store for you to the point where you are not even thinking about your past anymore. (Out of sight, out of mind right?)

Authenticity is More Valuable Than Perfection

I am sure you can recall a time in your life where striving for perfection was your ultimate goal. It can be in school where you were studying to get a perfect grade on an exam or any type of game where you were trying to get a perfect score. I will never say that you should abandon these goals or that it is a waste of energy to want to put in the effort to obtain perfection; however, I think that authenticity holds more value and should be the greater goal in life. By being authentic, that means you have the capacity to acknowledge your strengths but also acknowledge your weaknesses. We as people are simply NOT going to be perfect at everything we pursue or try out so rather than stressing ourselves to be perfect at most things or at all times, we just need to fully accept ourselves for what we do have to offer in this world (and trust me, everybody has something positive to offer πŸ˜‰ ).

I not only believe that people are more drawn to authentic people but that having authenticity will lead to greater success in life because there is a higher focus on what makes you who you are while also adding dimension to your personality which definitely makes you more attractive both on a professional and personal level.

Looking at the life I created for myself, I will have to admit that there have been many instances in which I wanted to be perfect at something but at the end of the day, being authentic was really more of an overpowering force that lead me to make the right life decisions rather than chasing an unrealistic expectation. Rewinding back to my days at college, going to college was not only an opportunity for me to find myself as it is for most young adults but it gave me the reality check I needed: I did not belong in college. Now I know you might be thinking, “Well you still graduated with a degree, right?” The answer might be yes but going to college made me realize I was not built for it. I could study for hours for an exam and still not receive an A. I could put my absolute best effort and still fall short. I was forced to take all these courses unrelated to my major that I could care less about. Often times I question how I even got through college but the simple answer to this is this: Free Electives. Every free elective I possibly had the opportunity to take a subject of my own free choice, I opted for an Art class. I almost picked it up as a minor but figured Sociology as a minor paired up rather nicely with Psychology. It was not until college that I learned very quickly that my strength was NOT studying and cramming information that I could barely store for a single exam but that my true strength was my ability to create and thrive in an atmosphere where I could be in a constant state of creation. Even though I was content with my final choice of Psychology as my major (I entered my freshman year undeclared but knew it was going to be Psychology or Secondary Education), I remember midway through my Sophomore year of college making the firm decision that graduate school was just not in the cards for me. Coming from a family where education was prized and my parents set the bar that graduate school was the bare minimum, I thought I would take the same road as them and continue my studies after being an undergraduate. At that time, I did not know what my future was going to hold upon graduation if I was not going to continue school until the day before my senior year of college I made a bold decision to check out a makeup artistry school in NYC by myself. I always liked the idea of being a makeup artist but never really thought I would take the time to examine this as a career option. Stepping foot into the makeup school was all the assurance I needed to know that this was not only going to be my destiny but that it would also allow for me to be my authentic self even if that meant it was not the most socially acceptable choice. I could have settled for the “safer” path of continuing my academic studies and trying to strive for a perfection (while stressing myself in the process) that just never would have existed. I chose to be authentic which I personally find to be more valuable of an asset and one that I encourage other people to choose to be. As a result, it lead me to a successful career that I genuinely love now as much as I did as I was learning my craft and most importantly, I fully accept myself. I recognize what I am good at while also knowing what did not work for me and there is nothing wrong with that. Again, we cannot be perfect at everything but we surely can be as authentic as possible! πŸ™‚

Know Gold When You See It and You Will Never Have a Missed Opportunity Again

I want to start off by saying, there are an abundance of opportunities in this world. Yep, you heard me, abundance. Repeat that to yourself if you do not already have that concept in your frame of mind right now. I don’t care what we are talking about whether it is a professional opportunity or a personal one, the Universe is constantly providing you opportunities whether you are proactively looking for them or not. There are times when an opportunity can come knocking on your door when you least expect it in which you might feel a sense of good luck. Then why do so many people face missed opportunities or have regrets about not taking an opportunity that was presented to them?

I truly believe the majority of the time, there is no excuse for a missed opportunity. In other words, there is no reason to have them and if you missed one, then that ship often has sailed so you need to move on to the next golden opportunity that awaits you (remember, there are plenty so do not get bent if one just went sailing by). If you “missed an opportunity,” then it could be for quite a number of reasons. I’ll list a few that I can think of off the top of my head right now but of course this is just a general list:

Causes of a Missed Opportunities:

– You did not want it bad enough.
– You were too slow to act on it.
– You had too many opportunities on hand and missed the one you actually wanted.
– You realized after it was too late.
– You simply want what you can not or no longer have.

So what is the solution to all of this? How can you prevent yourself from experiencing another missed opportunity? This leads me to a saying that I came up with years ago and that I love sharing with others as it applies to this context as an immediate solution: “You have to know gold when you see it. In other words, you have to know a good opportunity when you see it and go for it immediately. You cannot just let it pass you by or think too hard on it because depending on what it is, it can easily be taken by someone else or never present itself again. If you were to see a piece of gold appear on the ground right before your eyes, without hesitation, you would go grab it immediately, wouldn’t you? You *know* what gold looks like upon seeing it so you acted on it right away without skipping a beat. There was no way it was going to become a missed opportunity or go over your head because without question, you know that gold is valuable.

Now I want to point out that if we are talking about a job, you might have been provided with the opportunity to apply but not always get the job. Yes, that is a missed opportunity that might not fully have been in your control; however, it was never 100% a guaranteed opportunity supplied to you to begin with. I am referring to opportunities that were 100% given to you and within your control but became a missed opportunity–whatever the cause may be.

I want you to also think about my saying within this context: If YOU gave someone an opportunity and the person did NOT take it and essentially rejected it, do not offer it again and walk away. The opportunity should completely be off the table now.

Why? Note to yourself: You are gold. You are high value. If someone fails to see your worth and what you bring to the table, the person is not deserving of you or what you have to offer to begin with. It could be a job setting, dating situation, or just about anything in which you essentially served as the opportunity but got denied or overlooked. There is no need for hard feelings over the matter–you are still gold at the end of the day, right? πŸ˜‰

Psychology of Unmet Needs and How it Affects Your Love Life

When it comes to love, there are many contributions as to what attracts you to one person over someone else. Partially these choices are made on a conscious level, a set of criteria that is more concrete such as wanting to be with someone with a certain level of education or religious background. These are conscious selections and essentially dating preferences that are of importance to you. However, even more of your love life is determined on a subconscious level in which it is not something you can really control unless you really examine your childhood and your past including past relationships. This leads me to the concept of “psychology of unmet needs.” I would describe this term as a psychological need(s) that holds value to you but has never been obtained before or it was and might have been taken away at some point of your life which has lead to you longing to fulfill it again in some way.

The psychology of unmet needs can overlap into many areas of your life but it can especially relate to your dating life and would explain why you gravitate towards a certain person or fall into a pattern of being attracted to the same types of people in your lifetime. I will provide a few examples to further illustrate this.

Examining a Person’s Childhood – No one comes from a perfect childhood so if you really examine it, you can discover a person’s unmet needs and as a result, knowing this will help you better understand what they are looking for within a relationship to compensate or make up for what was missing.

Example #1: If a girl grew up in a household that was very unstable and included some financial insecurities, chances are she will either become very motivated to become rich or she will desperately be seeking a partner who will be an exceptionally good provider and have a career that will ensure financial wealth. Typically, anyone who suffers from a lack of resources (basic necessities such as food or shelter) or has severe money problems (incapability to pay bills on time or keeping a steady job) will naturally be drawn to someone who has established wealth or is on the path of becoming very rich to compensate for this lack of financial stability. Many people like to stereotype all women as “gold diggers” but the truth of the matter is, if a woman grew up with resources where all her basic needs were met and/or she has her own successful career without ever facing any real money problems, she is not going to be as likely to be looking for a man to provide for her because it was never an unmet need of hers to begin with.

Example #2: Let’s say a boy grew up not feeling very good about himself and suffered from confidence issues due his perceived physical unattractiveness, his inability to receive validation from women, and neglect from his own parents. This is a pretty lengthy list of psychological unmet needs but by knowing all this, it makes it rather clear what he will most likely be seeking when he is looking for a potential mate. For starters, this is definitely the type of guy who is most inclined to be in search of a “trophy wife.” Due to his perceived physical unattractiveness (I say “perceived” because physical attractiveness is heavily influenced by one’s own perception of it), he will most likely develop a stronger need to find a woman that is very physically attractive and perhaps one who attracts a lot of attention from the outside world (remember–he never received enough attention growing up). This would further explain why he is more attracted to a “flashy” woman as opposed to a girl-next-door type because if he is associated with a girl who provokes much attention, then as a result, he will gain more attention and validation simply by dating her. He will also be most attracted to a woman who exudes a ton of confidence because he never felt confident in his youth. By being with a confident woman, he can ultimately elevate his own confidence level and this will make him feel even better about himself.

Talking About Past Relationships – It is healthy and normal to discuss reasons why a past relationship did not work out and you can usually find out the answer by directly asking someone. However, not everyone is as open about their past while others tend to hold things very close to their heart without disclosing too much of that information. In other words, the person can just be more private in nature or simply not want to talk about it openly in the event it was too painful or negative of an experience. If the direct approach does not work, then there is still an indirect way of still getting a sense as to why a past relationship did not work out.

Instead of straight up asking someone why their last relationship ended, by asking the person what qualities they are looking for when in a relationship, pay close attention to the given response because I guarantee you, some of the things mentioned as a necessity stems from a psychological unmet need from one of their past relationships. By reading between the lines, you can easily figure out what was missing from their last relationship just by asking what they are currently looking for.

Example #1: A guy has been dating a girl for a few weeks and the subject of past relationships comes up in conversation. He asks why her last relationship did not work out (direct approach). He finds out that her last boyfriend was not only selfish but that it was very much a one sided relationship. He never wanted to do the activities she wanted, he did not go out of his way to do things to make her happy, and everything had to be done his way without any compromises. The psychological unmet need was a healthy balance and equality within a relationship along with someone who possesses a caring disposition. In the future, this girl will most likely gravitate towards someone who will nurture and pamper her to make up for all the times she was not taken care of by her ex-boyfriend. This is very helpful information for the current guy as he does not want to make the same mistakes and will take the extra time to cater to her needs so that he can continue to date the girl and it will hopefully progress into a successful long term relationship.

Example #2: Often times during a first date, no one typically broaches the subject of past relationships as that is not always a pleasant topic and the initial conversations are usually more casual. Towards the end of a date, a girl asks what qualities are most important in a relationship (indirect approach). The guy’s response is heavily focused on the theme of trust and how he values that more than anything in a relationship. He begins his response by stating, “That is an easy answer: Trust. For me, if I can’t be with a girl I trust and I have to worry about what she is doing when she’s not around or she lies about both petty things and even more serious things, it just isn’t worth it in the long run. I do not believe anyone should have to go through a relationship having to question things all the time.” Translation: I have had a dating history where I could not trust a woman (and/or women) in my past because I had been lied to on multiple occasions and I often was left to wonder about a woman’s whereabouts or who she was with whenever we were apart. Think about it, it goes without saying that there needs to be trust in a healthy relationship between two people. If this guy is flat out explaining specific examples as to why “no one should have to go through this,” chances are because he personally has had to put up with this and he does not want to anymore moving forward. He does not specify cheating at all but it is possible he was also cheated on previously because often times people who were cheated on in their past have a stronger need for trust in their future relationships. Therefore, the psychological unmet need was trust and since it was unfilled, there is a much higher need for it versus someone who never experienced trust issues with someone in their past.

Taking the time to truly understand a person’s psychological unmet needs when pursuing a relationship is extremely beneficial in not only understanding the person better and creating a strong bond to each other but also as a way of gauging whether or not you are a good match for the future.

Embracing Your Racial Identity When You are Born Biracial

According to my mother, the moment I was born, my mother’s side of the family looked at me and said I looked more Caucasian. Then my father’s side of the family looked at me for the first time and stated I looked more Asian. Despite their opposite perceptions, both are correct because I very well was born with two races.

Growing up, I did not “feel” very different even though I grew up in an area where no one like myself existed. My dad revealed to me during my young adult life that he actually had strong hesitations about having children because he knew that would mean I would be mixed and he feared that I would be bullied or as he words it, “tormented” during my childhood and essentially suffer from some sort of racial identity crisis. Luckily, I never had to experience either of his concerns but instead, I grew up feeling like I won the genetic jackpot where I reap the benefits of both worlds combined into one and that I get a rare opportunity to live my existence with not one but two races. Sounds like a great deal if you ask me (thanks mom and dad). I was also raised to believe that the more unique you are, the more valuable you are. Therefore, my perception of self growing up was always positive because I believed being different = being cool.

At the same time, growing up mixed can have its challenges as I find the few biracial people I have ever encountered or read about has had their very own individualized experiences growing up with a multiracial background that not everyone can relate to. Although personal life occurrences can differ from person to person and the racial mix can vary, I do know that every multiracial individual can relate to these exact experiences:

  • When you are given an important document and asked to check off the box for your race and “cultural enigma” isn’t an option, what box does a person with more than one race actually check off? When I am given the option to check off more than one, then that is an easy answer: I check off both Asian and Caucasian. When I am asked to only check off one, then I check off, “Other” because at the end of the day, I consider myself “other” because I do not identify with one race over the other as I was born with two. When “other” is NOT an option, then I am left quite unsure myself of the “correct” answer. (*Pondering to self* Hmm, why isn’t there a “None of the above” for this question since I do not know how I am supposed to only choose one?) Thankfully it is more widely accepted that there can be more than one answer checked off and I cannot think of the last time that this happened but there have been instances where I encountered “other” was NOT an option nor did I have the option to choose more than one.
  • The most commonly asked question upon meeting me as I am sure most mixed people like myself can relate to is this, “What are you?” This can be translated in other forms such as, “Where are you from?” “What is your ethnicity?” “Where were you born?” Many people who are biracial I find actually get offended by this question. Personally, the majority of the time I find this to be a compliment because the curiosity stems from their admiration of my mixed physicality, not asked in a way to offend me. Some people seem to think that asking can appear offensive but I do not get offended because A) I like learning about other cultures so I find it interesting to inquire about another person’s cultural identity. I have no problem asking someone this very same question, no matter what someone looks like, I simply am just as curious. B) I do not understand how asking someone who appears to be more diverse looking than someone else is perceived as offensive all of a sudden. C) Personally, I have always embraced that I was born with two races so I am proud to share my cultural background with anyone who asks.
  • People seem to like to categorize people as one race versus another and for whatever reason do not accept that an individual can be both. As exemplified at my birth, each race perceived me to NOT look like their own race. Growing up and even to this day, I actually find this to be rather strange how much perception can range quite dramatically depending on the race of the individual. Meaning that my race is solely determined by my physical appearance and based on what I most look like from the eyes of the beholder. If I appear to be more Caucasian to someone, then I am labeled a white girl or if I look more Asian to someone else, I am only seen as an Asian girl. Someone who is Caucasian may comment, “Oh because you are Asian, you must [fill in the Asian stereotype of your choice].” Someone who is Asian might say to me, “You are not really Asian because you are half white.” I have even encountered Asian makeup clients specifically ask me, “Do you have experience doing makeup on Asian women?” The best reply I can offer is, “Why yes, I am half Asian so I sure can.” πŸ˜‰ This is why I like to point out to people that I am both Asian and Caucasian and depending on the context, I have no problem politely correcting someone that the correct term for describing me is biracial (not “Asian girl” or “white girl”) whenever anyone tries to put me in a box and label me as only one single race. Why can’t others acknowledge that is it possible for an individual to have a multiracial background and why am I expected to only associate with one side?

No matter what your racial identity is, I think it is important to be proud of who you are while at the same time, race is not everything. Being born biracial, I equally identify with both sides of me and will continue to embrace my cultural heritage with great pride and encourage everyone to do the same. [On a final note, in case you are now wondering, I am specifically Chinese, Maltese, German, and Irish].

All Lives Matter – More Awareness and Empathy is Needed in This World

Since the horrifying and inhumane death of George Floyd a little over a week ago, it has caused a tremendous amount of pain, outrage, and sadness across the United States and around the world. While there has been peaceful protesting to bring more awareness to the underlying issue of inequality, there has also been an escalation of destruction that has struck major American cities in the form of looting, arson, and acts of violence–mainly directed towards the police although it has also impacted innocent bystanders. I recognize that not all the riots and protests are in direct correlation with the death of George Floyd; however, it is clear that his death has stirred many intense feelings due to the common theme of injustice without consequences more often than not towards the African American community. The truth of the matter is, racism still very much exists in this country yet no one wants to talk about it. It may be an uncomfortable subject matter for many people so often times it is an afterthought or consequently ignored altogether. Now more than ever before, I think it is necessary that people speak up and take the time to have these open discussions. We as people and as a society need to empathize with the lives that are wrongfully taken away and bring awareness to the problems we are facing. We need solutions because staying silent is not the answer as silence is a form of indifference and no real change can come from that. I am not in support of violence or acts of terror but I understand where it is coming from. People are finding ways to react by rebelling and many are left at their breaking points because this has happened way too many times now. Just a few months prior, we had the death of Ahmaud Arbery which also left me outraged and heartbroken. It does not matter what the color of your skin is to know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. I do not have to be an African American to feel the pain that they feel. I might never fully be able to understand what it feels like to be discriminated against on a daily basis or have to fear my life is on the line when confronted by a police officer but I do recognize that this is not acceptable and it should no longer be tolerated.

While many preach “black lives matter,” I think the better message should be, ALL lives matter.” We do not need to keep continuing to divide ourselves based on race and other factors to set us apart from one another. We are all human beings, so I firmly believe that all lives matter and that should be the mantra we preach together as one.