One of the many themes of this blog is the topic of self love. What is “self love” exactly? I would describe self love as having a good level of inner confidence along with self respect. When you possess self love, it serves as a spiritual asset to guide your life’s path and allow for you to make the right decisions in order to live your very best life. For example, when you are dating, having a high level of self love will ensure that you are not being mistreated or taken advantage of because you love yourself enough to set the right boundaries and terminate any relationship that does not best suit you. In your professional life, self love can be used as a self motivator by pushing you to strive for everything that you believe that you deserve.
If you do not feel that you are in a good place within your life, it is a good idea to examine self and determine what areas need improvement and ways in which you can increase self love. I truly believe that if you have self love, you will pursue your life with a purpose and find genuine happiness no matter what you do in the outside world because of the fact that you feel so good on the inside. It is natural to feel down every so often but if at the core, you love who you are as a person and know your self worth, you will always rise above. This is why you have to make it a point to focus on building self love because it will not only enhance you as a person but also have the capacity to enhance your life.
People focus much of their attention on appearances and by that, I do not just mean their outward appearance such as their physical looks but also how they appear to other people. We live in a society that very much judges others based on what is seen on the exterior. I understand that it is for this reason why people put such a huge emphasis on how they come across and are seen by others in real life and on social media. However, people should really put more of their attention towards building up their substance as individuals and who they are in the inside and not just the outside.
This is why you often hear, “don’t judge a book by its cover” because there is definitely validity behind this common adage. I can think of a handful of times where I misjudged people based on appearances and I was totally wrong about the person. I am sure everyone has experienced this before for the good or for the bad. This goes with attraction too where someone might not be as physically attractive in your eyes but because the person has substance and truly is beautiful in the inside, this makes the person an attractive one despite the exterior. In contrast, you might meet someone who you find to be incredibly good looking but because there is a lack of substance and/or chemistry, you do not view the person as attractive anymore. It is kind of like an optical illusion where what you see is not what you get which is why looks really are not everything!
Substance is an asset that often is never mentioned but holds so much value and in some, is never really fully developed. The good news is that there are ways to build up substance and to make this a focal point in your self development. I believe the best way to do this is to cultivate your passions and interests on an authentic level. In other words, do not go through the motions of doing things for the sake of it or because you see everyone doing something on social media. You need to figure out what brings you joy and what are the things that you most naturally gravitate towards most. Everyone is born with their own unique set of talents, interests, strengths, and abilities. It is your job to determine what they are and to expand on them. This will not only bring you genuine happiness in life but oftentimes it will fulfill a purpose by providing meaning and substance to the core of your soul. Substance is what carries you in life and serves as a helpful tool to attract the right opportunities and people into your Universe which is why it is a necessity to possess a good amount of it.
While many might have mixed views on astrology, I actually find astrology to be very interesting and insanely accurate. When I say astrology, I am not referring to people’s daily horoscopes in which I do not really follow horoscopes because I think we as individuals determine our destiny based upon our daily choices more than a horoscope could ever predict. However, when it comes to learning about the different astrological signs and their character traits, it is fascinating how precise they can be.
Will your astrological sign have an impact on the relationships that you develop in your lifetime? Of course people of any sign can get along with other signs but there is no denying that some signs naturally get along better than others. For example, when looking back on my childhood and my three very best friends that I met as a child–they ALL happened to be the same sign: Virgo. Their birthdays are September 6, 8, and 19. It is not like I knew a thing about astrology as a young kid and that I went up to people asking what their sign was as a deciding factor of choosing them as a friend or not.These friends that I naturally gravitated towards and developed strong friendships with happened organically. I am not a Virgo but I am a Capricorn and both signs are the same element which is Earth. If you look up traits of “Earth signs,” they are listed to be grounded, hard working, stable, and practical people. Why this matters in relationships whether it is a friendship or with a significant other is that as the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” People that naturally have the same foundation and way of thinking tend to get along very well. So while some of you may think that it is a coincidence that all my childhood friends are Earth signs like me, I do not believe that it is a coincidence whatsoever and it makes complete sense from an astrological point of view! I believe if people took some time to actually study astrology and examine an individual’s traits based on their sign, not only would they learn a lot about this person but it would explain many things such as their behavior, motivation, goals in life, and other fundamental parts of their inner being. When making friends or within the dating world, it is very helpful knowing this information to determine if you have some general similarities or if compatibility is even a possibility.
If you find astrology to be of interest, it is also beneficial knowing your birth time and location in which you can have your birth chart analyzed. This would tell you what your moon and rising signs are which are different than your sun sign aka your birthday. While your sun sign gives you a general sense of one’s personality, you can rely on the moon sign to determine a person’s emotional side and the rising sign which exemplifies how a person is on the outside such as their outward appearance. This would explain why two people who have the same birthday can still have many differences because of their moon and rising signs in combination with their sun signs are not all the same. Needless to say, when studying astrology, there are many factors that contribute to a person’s personality so while it is easy to make generalizations, there is more to the assessment than just knowing a person’s birthday. However, at the very least, it definitely is a good starting point and the information is still very valuable.
Today is March 8th which happens to be International Women’s Day. I was not too familiar with this being an actual day for women to acknowledge but I have received some emails today in regards to it. What does International Women’s Day mean to me?
As much as we try to make both genders as equal as possible, I don’t think that it is realistic for everything to be equal at all times, especially depending on what part of the world you live in where women’s rights and freedoms are still limited. However, it is important to note that as women, we have come a very long way and have progressed significantly in terms of things that we can do that were not opportunities given to us previously such as getting an education, pursing a career, voting, and so much more. It is empowering growing up at a time where I feel that as a woman, I can accomplish many great things in my lifetime. I also do not feel I am in a position where I have to rely on a man to have the things that I want and that I am capable of earning things myself while also being an equal contributing partner within a marriage.
Today and everyday, let’s continue to celebrate women and all the amazing strides and accomplishments that we have made so far. At the same time, I also believe that we are ALL capable of doing anything that we put our minds to. Remember that the sky’s the limit and to always shoot for the moon! 😉
It is natural to care about your looks and your outward appearance. I think this can be a good thing as long as you also possess a healthy mindset to match your positive self image. Unfortunately, there are many people who have a negative perception of self which would allow for them to go through extreme measures to “look good.” For example, both women and men get fixated on certain things that might not be within their control such as their height, facial features, and body composition. Personally, it is mind blowing to me that people would want to get surgeries to totally change their face or change parts of their body that take away from their natural born identity. I am not saying that to put down anyone who has made that choice because to each their own and whatever makes someone feel happy about self; however, the majority of the time, I just do not think it is necessary. Think about it, no one should feel the need to take a drastic approach in altering themselves physically–especially if it is unsafe and can cause potential health risks down the line in order to look and feel good.So what can be done to love your self image that won’t require a major transformation?
Focus on Your Best Features – It is very easy for people to focus on what they lack but it is most important to shift that focus onto what one already does have. I believe everyone has attractive attributes and what you perceive as unattractive can actually be a complete turn on to someone else. Rather than comparing self to others and trying to fit into a mold of what society’s definition of “beauty” is, it is best to work with what you were born with and to maximize what you already have. Trust me, EVERYONE has something attractive about themselves if they choose to recognize it and fixate on it rather than thinking about what they do not like or what they think is “missing.”
Develop Your Own Unique Sense of Style – You do not need to be the most naturally good looking person in the world to have a great sense of style. This is also something that can change and evolve over time. Areas of style can include your choice of clothing, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry, accessories, etc. Everyone has the potential to be stylish or at the very least develop a style that works for you and enhances your best features. While it is helpful to keep an eye out on the latest trends, remember that trends come and go so it is better to determine your very own individual style that is true to yourself.
Work on Building Self Love From the Inside Out – It is important to realize that looks are not everything. Having a beautiful exterior does not mean much if a person has low self esteem and has an endless amount of internal issues. Sometimes the most generically attractive people in the world have the most problems and feel the worst about themselves. This leads me to my final point that it is essential to always be working on self development and to find ways to increase confidence on the inside as opposed to just putting all your energy into feeling good on the outside. When you genuinely feel great about yourself, it truly does radiate from the inside out which should always be the end goal.
I was reflecting on my life very much at the start of the new year and while I know I live a blessed life, I also know that I live an extremely happy and fulfilling one as well. People who know me personally know that I am not someone who gets sad easily and depression is definitely not something I can say I have truly ever experienced on a deep level. Of course there are days that bring its challenges but in the grand scheme of things, I love the life I am creating everyday and genuinely am a happy individual. Am I just born this way or am I doing something differently?Can others learn to live happier lives themselves?
My biggest advice is simple and it is a general principle that I have applied throughout my entire lifetime, both on a conscious and subconscious level: Find meaningfulness in your life and you will always find happiness. It is important to find meaning in all areas of your life whether it be within your profession, relationships, friendships, hobbies, etc. By finding meaning, I mean actually have a genuine connection and affinity towards everything you pursue. Don’t waste your time working for a company that you hate and that brings you down. Don’t invest your time in meaningless relationships that don’t have a significant impact on your heart. Don’t go through the motions of life because you feel you are “supposed to do something” or because “everyone is doing it.” You need to carve your own path and strive to find meaning behind everything that you do and happiness will always follow.
It is still the first week in January within the new year and although I am sure you were expecting me to preach to all of you about how this is going to be your best year yet and how we need to start tracking our goals immediately–I actually have a totally different outlook when it comes to new year’s resolutions. It is quite common nowadays to hear the saying, “New year, same me” and I genuinely love that expression. The reason being that, even though it is a new year, guess what?I am still the same amazing individual I was a year ago and years prior who is continuing to conquer the world and crush my goals, one day at a time(*thank you very much*). While yes, I do think it is a good idea at the beginning of the new year for everyone to reassess life and determine what goals we want to achieve, the truth of the matter is–we should be doing this everyday regardless of what time of year it is. Life is all about making the right choices and I can honestly say that I CHOOSE to do this on a daily basis in terms of wanting to make life improvements and striving to live my very best life. The great news is, you too can make this same choice as well–and you absolutely should!
[On a final note as some people might need to hear this. Don’t forget how fabulous you already are today and that your life is only going to get better moving forward. I don’t care about what happened in your past–you need to keep your focus on your future. You are destined to receive life’s greatest gifts and in order to do so, you need to BELIEVE in what you deserve and from there, take the ACTION that is needed to make it all happen].
As the common saying goes, “Honesty is the best policy.” While not everyone might believe this to be the case, I think it is important to consider the benefits of being honest. To me, I look at honesty as a way of displaying authenticity as an individual while also being transparent. Transparency is an incredibly important trait because it is valuable knowing that what you see in someone is truly how they are. However, you will tend to notice that many people are not always true to themselves or that they lack the ability to be honest with others. Even though we understand that being honest is a positive characteristic, why do people often struggle with this?
I think what prevents most people from being transparent with their interactions with others or from being completely honest is that they fear that they can hurt people’s feelings within the process or that people will dislike them for it. What people need to understand is that you are actually HURTING people when you are dishonest as opposed to being honest. Perhaps initially, someone might not react favorably when the honest truth is negative; however, you are helping someone by providing the truth, even if the truth can hurt sometimes. In addition, you are gaining someone’s trust and respect when you opt to be honest. Trust me, I never like to hurt people’s feelings either but I recognize that it is a huge injustice to someone if I were to sugarcoat the truth or lie to someone as a way to protect their feelings. It is important to always look at the bigger picture and know that being honest builds trust and that the truth is of higher value in the long run despite any immediate tension or discomfort that it could cause from within yourself or onto someone else. Given the choice, remember to choose honesty because it truly always is the best policy.
I find modesty to be an incredibly admirable and attractive quality to possess and something that people should really try to practice more.Why? When someone is modest, they are not showy (aka a show off) and do not find the need to boast or brag about anything. I also truly believe that most people who are modest genuinely have a strong inner confidence and self assurance about them. Think about it, if a person is smart or good looking or some other desirable trait, they KNOW this already–so why do they need to outward say so? In other words, why state something that is obvious to themselves (and perhaps the outside world)? Whenever I hear someone have to literally state, “I’m really intelligent” or “I’m very successful,” there’s a high chance that this person actually isn’t or doesn’t think other people feel this way about them so they need to sell this idea in hopes that others will buy into it and perceive them as an elevated sense of self even though it is probably far from the reality. The other alternative is that this person feels they are lacking in other areas of self so they only want to focus on boasting about their positive attributes to compensate for what’s missing. Regardless of the underlying reason as to why a person feels the need to brag or show off, it just is NOT attractive nor is it necessary because as I said, people who are modest will not declare their positive qualities so explicitly.
To practice modesty, I recommend being mindful of how you portray yourself to others. I am not saying that you need to hide your achievements or how awesome your life is or that you can never talk up something that you are proud of. Of course it is natural to do this and I encourage you to do so when you feel it is justified; however, it is important to NOT constantly do this because it comes across that you are in constant need of validation or that you just like to brag about everything. In addition, it can sometimes make you appear like a narcissist–which I don’t think anyone finds attractive. A good example of this is when you see someone post a risqué photo on social media. Now on the one hand, if someone is proud about how they look, I don’t have a problem with that whatsoever. However, if these are the only types of photos that this person chooses to post then it just shows that this person not only needs a lot of attention to feel validated but that this person is far from modest. If someone already KNOWS they look good, then there’s no need to constantly sell this to the outside world. They know it, they own it, and they don’t have to over expose themselves to get the point across.Again, this all comes back to the point that it is important to be conscientious of how you display yourself and I don’t mean just physically but in all aspects of your life. You can still be a high value individual without being a show off about it. If you are modest, you actually heighten your value and attraction level because you convey a high confidence level which is always attractive.
Although life is far from perfection and everyone is going to experience ups and downs throughout the course of their lifetimes, that does not mean that life needs to be spent more in the negative than the positive. Seriously, life is too short to not LOVE your life so rather than settling on mediocrity or living day by day aimlessly, strive to LOVE your life! There are certainly ways to improve your life today and everyday to ensure that you are creating a path of intrinsic happiness and a life you absolutely love living. (Why like your life when you can love it?) 😉 ❤
Know What You Love and Want – Many people don’t think about what they want in life which can often make life lack a sense of direction or have a meaningful purpose. I believe we are all born with unique gifts and passions so it is important to channel into our strengths while also taking the time to pursue the things we enjoy most. By determining what brings joy also helps in providing clarity as to what is desired.
Focus on the Positive – It is incredibly bothersome when you hear people complain about what they don’t have or how their life is miserable when they could actually be investing their energy into being grateful for what they currently do have, setting goals to make life improvements, and possessing a positive mindset. Being positive really goes a long way in life by attracting abundance and creating the things you want most.
Embrace the Good and the Bad – Again, life isn’t perfect and it’s going to throw some curve balls along the way but it is possible to dodge them in its entirety or be prepared in handling them in the best way possible. By that I mean, it is important to understand that sometimes you really need to go through bad times or deal with misfortunes for the greater good which can include learning a valuable lesson or building inner strength. It is easy to embrace all the good things but it’s equally beneficial to embrace the bad because ultimately you are going to rise above it.
Implement the Changes Necessary – Hate your job? Change it! Not happy with your current relationship? Maybe it’s time to change that too! We should never be settling on anything simply for the sake of it. If there is something major (or even minor) bringing your life down in any way, build a game plan to CHANGE it! You have to recognize and be conscious of when it is time to change your life even if that means you need to start over or the change is out of your comfort zone because it is better than staying stagnant or unhappy.
Make It Happen – You are in the driver’s seat of your life and have the power to navigate it anywhere you want to go! So it’s up to you to navigate your life in the direction you want by taking action and actually executing everything that you want as opposed to just thinking or dreaming about it. Go out there and make it happen!