Category Archives: Identity

Quiet Confidence – Why It Is Attractive AF and How to Obtain It

Many people associate confident people to be the ones who make a grand entrance and/or stand out amongst a crowd. They might enjoy seeking attention from everyone around them along with being very popular. While these people can be labeled as confident, the truth of the matter is–that might not always be the case. These same people might be in desperate need of social validation in order to feel loved and good about themselves which shows that underneath the surface, they are actually deeply insecure individuals.

This leads me to the topic of what I call “quiet confidence” where someone is confident but might not come off that way because he/she does not have a showy personality and is quiet by nature. You won’t hear this person brag or try to show off to others that they are attractive, smart, etc. because they already know inside that this is the case so there is zero need to flaunt it to those around them. That is not to say that they don’t acknowledge their successes and greatness to others, it is just that they have a more modest approach to life and do not need to be the center of attention in order to raise their confidence levels. Personally, I find people who are quietly confident to be super attractive. They actually stand out more to me and pique my interest because they are not trying as hard to obtain validation from others and are not the loudest people in a room. There are definitely ways to become more quietly confident that can be shared here.

Eliminate Bragging to Others – As I pointed out earlier, a person who has amazing qualities does not need to say so because it goes without saying. In other words, let others be the ones to point out why you are awesome as opposed to trying to sell to everyone that you are because it can come off that you do not truly believe it yourself which is why you need to prove to others that you are a certain way or on the other hand, that you are a conceited individual.

Don’t Overshare Your Life – I never like to be judgmental but if I have to be honest–I find those who constantly feel the need to overshare what they are doing all the time and who go out of their way to showcase how perfect their lives are tend to either be a total narcissist or someone who is attention seeking which are both rather negative traits to possess. It is nice to share some highlights but overdoing it can come off the wrong way and also show an emotional neediness which is far from being quietly confident.

Focus on Your Own Personal Path to Happiness – People tend to be so influenced by what they see other people doing which detracts from their own personal path to happiness. You need to ask yourself, “what brings me joy?” and then actually go out and pursue those things. Who really cares what everyone else is doing, it matters more what you are doing and how you choose to steer the direction of your life! Those who are quietly confident just do their own thing without really caring about impressing others while they continue to follow their own path because they are confident about their life choices and where their personal path leads.

5 Tips for Choosing the Best Photos For an Online Dating Profile

When it comes to online dating, there is no denying that people are going to scroll through your photos and base their decision on whether or not you appear to be a good match simply just by looking at your photos. Some people won’t even take the time to read your content so that is why you should put some effort in choosing the best photos that not only highlight your best features but also convey what you are like in real life. It can be hard to determine which photos are best but here are some helpful tips to help you put your best face forward so to speak if you decide to pursue online dating.

Make Sure Your Photos are Current – I personally believe that people should only post photos of themselves from the past six months. When I used to have a dating profile, I made sure everything fell within the six month mark because the best representation of yourself is your current self. How often have you or have you met someone that said that they went on a date with someone who looked nothing like their photos or that their photos looked like they were taken as far as a decade ago? I understand most people tend to look their best in their younger years but it is always best to display images that are recent so that if you ever do end up meeting in person, you are still recognizable from the photos that you shared.

Feature a Mix of Face and Full Body Photos – Although it might go without saying, many people often fail to showcase photos of themselves that include both their face and their full body. I think it is important to show both to convey transparency and so that people have a better sense of how you look if you were to meet up in person. If you are not in as good shape as you used to be, it is still better to show what you look like now than before so that the other person does not feel that you falsely advertised what you look like.

Choose Photos that Convey Your Interests – It is a good idea to post photos with backgrounds to show your interests and passions in life. For example, if you love to ski, then think about posting some photos of yourself during your last ski trip. If you love music, it doesn’t hurt to post photos of yourself from a concert that you went to. Chances are, someone with the same interests will be more intrigued in getting to know you better just based upon some of your shared interests.

Avoid Overly Revealing Photos – It is common to see people post revealing photos which can give off the wrong impression along with sending the wrong message to anyone who is looking at them. It can convey that a person is attention seeking or just looking for a cheap hook up. Even if that’s not the case, unfortunately, that’s how it can be interpreted. To avoid sending mixed messages or giving off a negative first impression, it is much wiser to shy away from posting those types of photos in its entirety.

When in Doubt, Ask For a Second Opinion – If you are unsure if the photos that you are posting are good enough to post, it does not hurt to ask a friend or someone who you are close to for their honest feedback. A photo that you might find flattering, someone might point out that you can post an even better photo which is why it never hurts to ask for a second opinion.

Why I’m Not Influenced By Influencers

It is funny to me that we live in a world that is so influenced by the outer world, more specifically by social media platforms. Oftentimes, people will find complete strangers and people that they do not know in real life to follow their every move. If this influencer buys a certain product, then the follower is more inclined to purchase it too. This is why there is a lot of money to be made if you are an influencer with an abundant following because companies know that their followers will most likely purchase what they promote. It is for this reason, I do not really buy into what influencers are promoting. Most of them are selling products to earn an income so who really knows if they use these products or are just talking about them to make a living.

There is nothing wrong with following people and having an interest in what influencers post on social media; however, I think people should work on their own self development and think more independently as opposed to caring so much about what others are sharing. As I mentioned previously, it is hard to really know if they are sharing content to make money or from a genuine place. It is much better to follow your natural inclinations and to think for yourself than to put all your energy into what other people are doing. Think about what your goals are and what makes you happy because that is ultimately what counts most above anything else. At the end of the day, be your own influencer and stay true to your values, desires, and path.

The Truth About Youth And Why Life Should Only Get Better With Age

We live in a society that is obsessed with youth. Whether you are consciously aware of it or you are not, there is no denying that people want to stay young and that there are many out there who get depressed at the thought of aging. While celebrating a birthday should be seen as a happy milestone each year, as people get older, there are many who do not view it this way and do not enjoy acknowledging that they are getting older. While it is understanding up to a point why people feel this way, I am here to remind you that this is not the right mindset to have! I remember talking to someone awhile ago about this subject and the person was saying that people should be grateful for each year that they get to live and embrace the physical changes that come along with that because there are some people that never get that opportunity to experience aging because they passed at a young age. This was something that stuck with me because this is all very true. We all need to appreciate our lives today because there is never a guarantee that there is a tomorrow.

On a brighter note, I want to share my mindset when it comes to aging: Life should only get better with age. What I mean by that is that as we get older, we should have collected more life experiences along with heightening our very own self development. These are both great spiritual assets that are often not received until much later in life. When I look back on my youth, while I might have appeared to be at the “prime” of my life; I did not have as much then as I do today. I would still choose to be where I am at the present moment rather than wishing I could go back to my younger days because life is always moving forward and day by day, I am continuing to progress. While being younger might have its perks, the truth comes back to my mindset that life gets better with age! Remember that if you choose to think this way, you will be able to manifest much more abundance into your life and attract the positive experiences that you have yet to live! It is all coming your way if you believe that the very best is in your FUTURE and that “the best is yet to come!” 😉

You Can Be Both Smart AND Beautiful – You Can Actually Be ANYTHING

Sometimes you hear people say that people can either be intelligent or attractive but why can’t people CHOOSE to be both? I emphasize the word “choose” because it is up to us as individuals to determine what our best qualities are. Even if other people might not perceive you to be a certain way, what ultimately matters most is how you perceive yourself. For example, you might not be someone’s type look wise but does that mean that you are not attractive? Absolutely NOT! Of course you are! The key is to train your mindset to truly believe that you are! 😉 Remember that your thoughts do become things so if you believe that you are a certain way, then you will possess these qualities because your mind determined that they are indeed factual. This goes for intelligence and pretty much any desirable quality that is out there. Just because someone doesn’t classify you a certain way, that should not be an indicator of your authentic being.

When prevents people from being the best version of themselves is a weak mindset paired with a lack of confidence. If you recognize that you do not think very highly of yourself, the good news is that there are ways to change that and like most things in life, it is never too late to start! The best way to change your outlook is to create positive affirmations for yourself. These can be written down on index cards and read aloud as a reminder. This might sound like a silly thing to do but that is how manifestation works is by repetition and a strong focus on a desired outcome. It is amazing that when you are consistent and persistent, the internal work that you put into your self development actually transforms into a reality. Ultimately you can be ANYTHING that you want to be as long as you are in control of your mind and you are always striving to be the best that you can be! 🙂

How Self Love Impacts Your Life on All Levels

One of the many themes of this blog is the topic of self love. What is “self love” exactly? I would describe self love as having a good level of inner confidence along with self respect. When you possess self love, it serves as a spiritual asset to guide your life’s path and allow for you to make the right decisions in order to live your very best life. For example, when you are dating, having a high level of self love will ensure that you are not being mistreated or taken advantage of because you love yourself enough to set the right boundaries and terminate any relationship that does not best suit you. In your professional life, self love can be used as a self motivator by pushing you to strive for everything that you believe that you deserve.

If you do not feel that you are in a good place within your life, it is a good idea to examine self and determine what areas need improvement and ways in which you can increase self love. I truly believe that if you have self love, you will pursue your life with a purpose and find genuine happiness no matter what you do in the outside world because of the fact that you feel so good on the inside. It is natural to feel down every so often but if at the core, you love who you are as a person and know your self worth, you will always rise above. This is why you have to make it a point to focus on building self love because it will not only enhance you as a person but also have the capacity to enhance your life.

Why Having Substance Is Your Greatest Asset and How to Possess More of It

People focus much of their attention on appearances and by that, I do not just mean their outward appearance such as their physical looks but also how they appear to other people. We live in a society that very much judges others based on what is seen on the exterior. I understand that it is for this reason why people put such a huge emphasis on how they come across and are seen by others in real life and on social media. However, people should really put more of their attention towards building up their substance as individuals and who they are in the inside and not just the outside.

This is why you often hear, “don’t judge a book by its cover” because there is definitely validity behind this common adage. I can think of a handful of times where I misjudged people based on appearances and I was totally wrong about the person. I am sure everyone has experienced this before for the good or for the bad. This goes with attraction too where someone might not be as physically attractive in your eyes but because the person has substance and truly is beautiful in the inside, this makes the person an attractive one despite the exterior. In contrast, you might meet someone who you find to be incredibly good looking but because there is a lack of substance and/or chemistry, you do not view the person as attractive anymore. It is kind of like an optical illusion where what you see is not what you get which is why looks really are not everything!

Substance is an asset that often is never mentioned but holds so much value and in some, is never really fully developed. The good news is that there are ways to build up substance and to make this a focal point in your self development. I believe the best way to do this is to cultivate your passions and interests on an authentic level. In other words, do not go through the motions of doing things for the sake of it or because you see everyone doing something on social media. You need to figure out what brings you joy and what are the things that you most naturally gravitate towards most. Everyone is born with their own unique set of talents, interests, strengths, and abilities. It is your job to determine what they are and to expand on them. This will not only bring you genuine happiness in life but oftentimes it will fulfill a purpose by providing meaning and substance to the core of your soul. Substance is what carries you in life and serves as a helpful tool to attract the right opportunities and people into your Universe which is why it is a necessity to possess a good amount of it.

Why I Find Astrology Absolutely Fascinating – Does It Matter in Forming Relationships?

While many might have mixed views on astrology, I actually find astrology to be very interesting and insanely accurate. When I say astrology, I am not referring to people’s daily horoscopes in which I do not really follow horoscopes because I think we as individuals determine our destiny based upon our daily choices more than a horoscope could ever predict. However, when it comes to learning about the different astrological signs and their character traits, it is fascinating how precise they can be.

Will your astrological sign have an impact on the relationships that you develop in your lifetime? Of course people of any sign can get along with other signs but there is no denying that some signs naturally get along better than others. For example, when looking back on my childhood and my three very best friends that I met as a child–they ALL happened to be the same sign: Virgo. Their birthdays are September 6, 8, and 19. It is not like I knew a thing about astrology as a young kid and that I went up to people asking what their sign was as a deciding factor of choosing them as a friend or not. These friends that I naturally gravitated towards and developed strong friendships with happened organically. I am not a Virgo but I am a Capricorn and both signs are the same element which is Earth. If you look up traits of “Earth signs,” they are listed to be grounded, hard working, stable, and practical people. Why this matters in relationships whether it is a friendship or with a significant other is that as the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” People that naturally have the same foundation and way of thinking tend to get along very well. So while some of you may think that it is a coincidence that all my childhood friends are Earth signs like me, I do not believe that it is a coincidence whatsoever and it makes complete sense from an astrological point of view! I believe if people took some time to actually study astrology and examine an individual’s traits based on their sign, not only would they learn a lot about this person but it would explain many things such as their behavior, motivation, goals in life, and other fundamental parts of their inner being. When making friends or within the dating world, it is very helpful knowing this information to determine if you have some general similarities or if compatibility is even a possibility.

If you find astrology to be of interest, it is also beneficial knowing your birth time and location in which you can have your birth chart analyzed. This would tell you what your moon and rising signs are which are different than your sun sign aka your birthday. While your sun sign gives you a general sense of one’s personality, you can rely on the moon sign to determine a person’s emotional side and the rising sign which exemplifies how a person is on the outside such as their outward appearance. This would explain why two people who have the same birthday can still have many differences because of their moon and rising signs in combination with their sun signs are not all the same. Needless to say, when studying astrology, there are many factors that contribute to a person’s personality so while it is easy to make generalizations, there is more to the assessment than just knowing a person’s birthday. However, at the very least, it definitely is a good starting point and the information is still very valuable.

Happy International Women’s Day

Today is March 8th which happens to be International Women’s Day. I was not too familiar with this being an actual day for women to acknowledge but I have received some emails today in regards to it. What does International Women’s Day mean to me?

As much as we try to make both genders as equal as possible, I don’t think that it is realistic for everything to be equal at all times, especially depending on what part of the world you live in where women’s rights and freedoms are still limited. However, it is important to note that as women, we have come a very long way and have progressed significantly in terms of things that we can do that were not opportunities given to us previously such as getting an education, pursing a career, voting, and so much more. It is empowering growing up at a time where I feel that as a woman, I can accomplish many great things in my lifetime. I also do not feel I am in a position where I have to rely on a man to have the things that I want and that I am capable of earning things myself while also being an equal contributing partner within a marriage.

Today and everyday, let’s continue to celebrate women and all the amazing strides and accomplishments that we have made so far. At the same time, I also believe that we are ALL capable of doing anything that we put our minds to. Remember that the sky’s the limit and to always shoot for the moon! 😉

How to Love Your Self Image – 3 Things You Can Do to Love Yourself the Way You Are

It is natural to care about your looks and your outward appearance. I think this can be a good thing as long as you also possess a healthy mindset to match your positive self image. Unfortunately, there are many people who have a negative perception of self which would allow for them to go through extreme measures to “look good.” For example, both women and men get fixated on certain things that might not be within their control such as their height, facial features, and body composition. Personally, it is mind blowing to me that people would want to get surgeries to totally change their face or change parts of their body that take away from their natural born identity. I am not saying that to put down anyone who has made that choice because to each their own and whatever makes someone feel happy about self; however, the majority of the time, I just do not think it is necessary. Think about it, no one should feel the need to take a drastic approach in altering themselves physically–especially if it is unsafe and can cause potential health risks down the line in order to look and feel good. So what can be done to love your self image that won’t require a major transformation?

Focus on Your Best Features – It is very easy for people to focus on what they lack but it is most important to shift that focus onto what one already does have. I believe everyone has attractive attributes and what you perceive as unattractive can actually be a complete turn on to someone else. Rather than comparing self to others and trying to fit into a mold of what society’s definition of “beauty” is, it is best to work with what you were born with and to maximize what you already have. Trust me, EVERYONE has something attractive about themselves if they choose to recognize it and fixate on it rather than thinking about what they do not like or what they think is “missing.”

Develop Your Own Unique Sense of Style – You do not need to be the most naturally good looking person in the world to have a great sense of style. This is also something that can change and evolve over time. Areas of style can include your choice of clothing, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry, accessories, etc. Everyone has the potential to be stylish or at the very least develop a style that works for you and enhances your best features. While it is helpful to keep an eye out on the latest trends, remember that trends come and go so it is better to determine your very own individual style that is true to yourself.

Work on Building Self Love From the Inside Out – It is important to realize that looks are not everything. Having a beautiful exterior does not mean much if a person has low self esteem and has an endless amount of internal issues. Sometimes the most generically attractive people in the world have the most problems and feel the worst about themselves. This leads me to my final point that it is essential to always be working on self development and to find ways to increase confidence on the inside as opposed to just putting all your energy into feeling good on the outside. When you genuinely feel great about yourself, it truly does radiate from the inside out which should always be the end goal.