5 Insightful Quotes to Live by Ruth Bader Ginsburg

In memory of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the Supreme Court Justice and women’s right activist known as the “Notorious RBG,” I thought it would be best to share some of her famous quotes which capture the essence of who she was along with ones I believe can add value to people’s lives including my own.

“Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”

“My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.”

“Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.”

“You can’t have it all, all at once. Who—man or woman—has it all, all at once? Over my lifespan I think I have had it all. But in different periods of time things were rough. And if you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it.”

“If you are going to be a lawyer and just practice your profession, you have a skill—very much like a plumber. But if you want to be a true professional, you will do something outside yourself… something that makes life a little better for people less fortunate than you.”

“I Want to Take Things Slow” – What is the Translation?

When dating, the way in which the relationship is paced can vary depending on various factors such as the comfort level of the individual and what the ultimate relationship goals are. Sometimes a person will flat out declare, “I want to take things slow.” I think this can be interpreted in one of many ways and there is not exactly one definitive answer as to what this means. There are certain instances it is apparent the reasoning while other times, you just need to be patient to better understand the other person’s point of view, especially if there is not much clarity to back it up.

Not Fully Out of Last Relationship – If there are any loose ends from their last relationship or a person has not mentally recovered from the outcome of their last relationship, it can be expected that the person will want to move at a slower pace before getting too deep into the next relationship they pursue.

Fear of Commitment – Not everyone is able to fully commit to someone or are in a place in their life where they want that at the present moment. Typically if someone is not interested in a commitment, it is just easier to say they ‘want to take it slow’ than to completely spell out their true intentions–especially if this puts them at risk that the other person won’t want to stay unless there is a commitment. Keep in mind, if the reason stems from a fear of commitment or simply not wanting to commit to you, the person might never be ready or it could take an extended period of time.

Not Wanting to Be Vulnerable – It can take certain people a very long time to open up to another person. In addition, some prefer to protect their feelings out of the fear of getting rejected or abandoned in the long run. So rather than emotionally connecting to the person they are dating, to protect oneself from potentially getting hurt, the person will tend to be more guarded when proceeding with any relationship.

Multiple Options – When someone has multiple options, there is no need to really progress any of their personal relationships on a fast track because they want to compare all of their options and see which person is the best match out of all the options on hand. They might also enjoy dating multiple people or not be looking for anything serious in which none of their options will end up turning into serious leads.

Setting Boundaries – It is important to set boundaries in any relationship and sometimes this is said to do exactly that. By making this statement, it signifies to the other person to not ask for too much too soon while also putting a slight psychological wall up. It might just take some time for them to feel comfortable around you and for their boundaries to slowly come down.

Moving Too Fast Too Soon – Maybe the style in which the relationship started moved at a much quicker pace than they were ready for or perhaps their previous relationship moved too fast in which they are more consciously aware that they want to slow things down and pump the brakes a little bit.

Interest Level is Uncertain – If someone is unsure where they stand with their feelings towards someone, it makes sense to want to take things slow. It does not mean the person does not like you, their level of interest just might not have reached an intense level where they are 100% all in. Attraction is not always an instant spark but often times can be a slow build between two people which could very well have started out as friends and potentially lead into something deeper over time.

Very Focused on Career/Goals – People who are extremely focused on their careers, school, and other life goals typically do not prioritize their personal relationships. This is not to say they do not have an interest in pursuing one, it just means the person has many obligations which can prevent them from giving as much as they can within a relationship so it is to their advantage “to take things slow” so they can still stay focused on their goals while exploring the idea of building a new relationship.

One Day at a Time Approach – Some people approach just about all their relationships and many other areas of their lives on a day-by-day basis. There is nothing wrong with that as some people just need more time before really transitioning the relationship into a more serious one. This is the play it safe route and applies to someone who pursues most things with caution and mindfulness.

There are many reasons why people may want to take things at a slower rate which might feel like a negative thing initially but it does not necessarily have to translate this way. It really comes down to the personality, past relationship experience, life goals, dating preferences, and other individual factors that can dictate the pace in which they want their relationship to unfold. Some people like to move at a slower rate while others move more quickly but at the end of the day, you need to be respectful towards the needs of the other person while also keeping in mind what you are truly looking for. If you find things are not progressing at the rate you feel comfortable with, you can choose to be patient or to move on altogether.

Is Solo Travel for You – 5 Questions to Ask Yourself

I believe that any opportunity to travel is always a wonderful experience as it allows you to see new places and explore things that are different from your everyday daily life. Often times people plan a trip with a friend, family member, significant other, or perhaps with a small group of people. However, have you ever considered traveling alone? Solo travel is the term to describe exactly that, planning a trip by yourself. It might be expected you naturally would want to share a travel experience with someone else but there is definitely nothing wrong with going somewhere by yourself.

Before you go ahead and plan a solo trip, there are a few things you should ask yourself to see if it is the right choice for you.

Am I okay with going on a vacation by myself while fully being able to enjoy myself? – This is probably the most important question to first ask yourself. If you are a little scared with the idea of traveling by yourself, think about how many activities you currently do by yourself. I look at it like this, if I am someone who does a good majority of daily things by myself, then traveling should not feel much different. If the idea scares you, maybe start off with a local trip and see how you feel about that first. If you enjoyed it, then you can consider taking it to the next level and planning something bigger. In life, it is good to step outside your comfort zone but as I mentioned, it can still be done in baby steps.

Do I have the time to plan a getaway? – If you do not really have the spare time to go then I would say either make time for it or wait until your schedule frees up. Without the actual time needed to plan a trip, it is not something you can really book until you have the actual availability to go.

Do I have the money to go? – When planning a trip with someone else, budgeting is usually easier as you get to split the accommodations and other activities with the person you are traveling with. When you plan a trip by yourself, be prepared for every little expense from the big expenses like flight and accommodations to the small things like food, souvenirs, etc. Traveling can get expensive very fast depending on the destination (also keep in mind with currency exchange rates, your currency might not be worth as much in certain countries). It is important to travel within your means and if going by yourself is going to be too much of an expense, it might be better to plan a trip with someone to keep costs down or to save money up so you can comfortably travel by yourself without breaking the bank.

Do I have the passion to go on the trip, even if that means I am by myself? – If you have a deep desire to go to a destination with or without someone, then I would say it is worth looking into. Remember, even if you are traveling by yourself, that does not mean you have to be completely alone at all times. You can sign up for group tours and be in situations where you meet other people along the way such as other tourists like yourself or locals who can make recommendations of things to check out during your stay.

Will I feel safe going to this destination alone? – Your sense of personal safety is definitely an important factor when deciding whether or not to go on a solo trip. There are certain places that I think might be enjoyed better with the company of others and as a safety net while there are places that are known to be incredibly safe to go to on your own. This is research you can do on your own if you are unsure whether or not you can venture to the destination safely.

Solo travel might be a scary thought to some but absolutely liberating to someone else. I can tell you from my personal experience, I have done it once (so far) and it was one of the best decisions of my life. By that, I can confirm I had a wonderful time and I would absolutely do it again in the future.

5 Ways to Improve the Quality of Your Life Starting Today

Over the years, I have taken the time to really appreciate the quality of life which for me means having more time to myself for leisure activities, an active social life, and of course much needed alone time to feel fully recharged. I strongly believe in hard work but it is just as important to be able to enjoy life–whatever that means to you.

Take Care of Yourself by Adapting a Healthier Lifestyle – I always preach about developing healthy habits which can include eating higher quality foods and paying attention to portion control. It is okay to indulge but again, it is all about keeping everything within moderation. Besides a good diet, taking the time to exercise each day is also very important for increasing your longevity and overall well being.

Make Time for Vacations and Day Trips – People who work a lot often times do not take the time to actually plan a real vacation. I would suggest thinking about new places you want to explore and putting the money aside for it including the flight, accommodations, and entertainment money. Besides planning at least one big vacation, it is also good to plan long weekends and local day trips. Life experiences like travel are incredibly rewarding so be sure to make the time for it.

Stay Organized in All Areas of Your Life – Organization is such an important life skill but one that sometimes gets overlooked, especially when you are super busy. This can first start within your home and your surroundings by making a conscious effort to keep these areas neat and clutter free. If that means getting rid of items that are not practical, then take the time to do so. Aside from your living space, it is also a good habit to keep a planner or to do lists to keep your actual life organized or at least provide some structure. This will help you improve the quality of your life by allowing you to gain more control of how you spend your time each day.

Sleep More – Take Naps If Needed – When you work full time and have what it feels like ten million responsibilities each day, it is very easy to cut back on the amount of sleep you are getting each night. If this applies to you, I would suggest finding spare time in your day where you can take a power nap or by getting in the habit of going to bed earlier or sleeping in a little if you have a schedule that can allow for that.

Turn Cell Phone Notifications Off – It is really hard to imagine life without a cell phone nowadays. As much as it has improved the quality of our lives by allowing us to easily stay connected with others, have information at our finger tips, and apps for just about anything, there also comes a time it is healthy to turn the notifications off. If you are with other company, trying to be productive, working, or in a situation where you do not need to be attached to your phone, it is okay to put it aside and not check it for a few hours. You would be amazed how much quality time you can add back to your everyday life just by putting your cell phone down every so often.

This is just a short list of suggestions for improving the quality of your life that have really worked for me in recent years and are good things to apply if you do not already. All it takes is some added mindfulness and taking small steps to make these daily changes that will make an impact over time.

When Words Are a Facade and So Are Actions – What to Look For Instead

There is the common saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” While there is much truth to that, I never fully agreed with that statement because some people are actually better with their words. They are more easily able to express themselves than others with words and articulate their true intent better than conveying it through their actions. They are the type you can take at face value because they say what they mean.

Then there are people who can relate more to that statement where their actions carry more weight than their words because what they say is not what they mean or they simply don’t say anything at all to express themselves. Although they may not have the capacity to really say what is on their mind per se or while also being the ones to talk a good game but their words mean nothing, then their actions will show their true hand more often than not.

In a perfect world, people’s words and actions should be pretty in line with each other. However, we all know that this often times is not the case. People tend to send what appears to be mixed messages where what they say (or don’t say) is not in harmony with what they do OR vice versa where an action does not match up whatsoever with something they said. So now what? How do you understand the underlying truth?

Solution: Pay attention to the person’s PATTERNS. This is not always an easy task if encountering a stranger or someone you do not know too well but if it is someone that you know well such as a friend, family member, co-worker, etc. then it should be a little easier to pick it up. Patterns really dictate most what a person is thinking, feeling, wanting, and provide an overall picture of this person’s intent. It is important to examine people’s patterns because this will give you better clarity and hopefully some consistency when things on the surface seem a little grey and fuzzy.

While many people are not always able to express themselves through their words or their actions at the same time, look at which more outweighs the other (words vs. actions) by observing the patterns within their behavior. It is a good practice to sit back and make some mental observations while also using your intuition as a guide. There is a reason why we have intuition, we just have to trust it more.

Achieve Your Goals with Exceptional Habits

I think before achieving any sort of goal, everything does originate within the mind. What do you think about? What are you looking to achieve? More importantly, how badly do you want these things? I am a big believer of taking the time to write your goals down on paper so it is more tangible and you can look at them on a regular basis to remind yourself of these goals.

However, let’s be real–staring at your goals each day is a good initial step to get the manifestation process going and making them a reality but you’re going to have to do much more to achieve them. The next component requires being proactive and taking action with the necessary stepping stones to make it happen. This is where many people fail reaching their end goal due to a lack of patience, giving up too easily when the going gets tough, and the fear of failing–along with other limitations (aka excuses).

So how can you really manifest your deepest dreams and desires? It is crucial to focus more on your habits even more than the end goal because your habits will allow you to get on the path that you want to be on. For example, often times you see new people at the gym in the beginning of a new year only to find that they completely drop off within a matter of weeks or even a month. Their main goal could be to lose weight in which taking action by obtaining a gym membership was definitely a step in the right direction. However, if the person was not getting the results they wanted, they might end up quitting too soon in which they gave up on a positive habit which could easily deter them from their end goal of losing weight. This is absolutely why you need to focus on your habits and developing good ones by knowing that over time, these habits will lead you to achieving your goals. You might have days where your habits are not as good as others but that is where you need to consistently focus on developing them and adapting them in your every day life.

Why Do Some People Have Types While Others Don’t? / Do You Still Have a Chance if You are Not Someone’s Type?

Most people consciously or unconsciously have a “type” although this might not be the case for everyone. For those who do not have a type, this could be due to the fact that the person lacks dating experience, does not have preset preferences, or possesses an open minded mindset when dating. Some people truly just do not know what they are looking for so they do not have a preconceived notion of the type of person they want to be with. Others might not be too picky because they lack an abundance mindset and think more along the lines of, “Beggars can’t be choosers” meaning having a type just does not even exist in their mind because they believe their options are limited to begin with.

Although by type, this is often looks based, this could also include other criteria involved such as education, profession, etc. Those who have a set type can have one for numerous reasons. For one, the person might associate certain traits with a certain look. A woman might be attracted to an older man not based on his looks necessarily but because she associates an older man to be more established, financially stable, and to be a provider which might be all things she highly values in a partner.

Another consideration is when someone has a failed relationship, it is quite common to see the person choose the same type, whether they realize it or proactively choose to. This could occur because they are not fully over their ex and there were certain characteristics or a look that this person had in which they want to recreate that again in their future dating life. This would mean by default, they end up choosing someone who can look very similar to someone who they previously dated.

Furthermore, a type often is developed during a person’s childhood and within the environment they grew up in. This can happen in one of two ways. There could be a certain look that a person might not have been exposed to as often growing up which actually piques their interest due to scarcity which in turn makes this type more valuable in the eyes of the beholder OR the opposite where a certain type they were overly exposed to or had positive experiences with could be their type because they just naturally feel comfortable around them.

There are also certain people who are laser focused on what they want in life and know what they are looking for. This category typically has a specific type in their mind so until they find someone who fits the mold, they will not be too interested in those who are not their “type.”

So what does this mean if you are not exactly someone’s type? Does this mean you do not have a chance with this person? The answer is no! If you understand what it is about their type that they most value, have some understanding of their love map, and a good amount of patience, then you can still attract this person into your life and perhaps make them fall completely in love with you. As specific as someone might be about what they are looking for, you would be amazed how often the person can still equally fall for someone who is not their type whatsoever. I see it happen all the time and it has even happened to me. This is because love [often times] is not a rational choice so never think you do not have a chance with someone if you’re not someone who they would normally go for because you might very well be able to prove them otherwise. 😉

How Tough Love Actually Instills Confidence in Children in the Long Run

Often times when people think of the concept of tough love, it can have a very negative connotation. Especially when raising children today, people put such a high emphasis on caring about how a child is feeling all the time and guarding those feelings. I think this is healthy and this is necessary for their emotional well being but at the same time, tough love also needs to be implemented for the greater good of the child.

What is tough love exactly? Tough love is the ability to say no, give consequences, apply discipline, and hold someone accountable for their actions.

It may sound counterintuitive that being tough on a child will build their confidence because aren’t their precious little souls going to be crushed if they do not get what they want and if life doesn’t go their way? In that immediate moment and the short term, yes the child is going to be upset and most likely react unfavorably. However, life isn’t fair all the time right? Why do adults create a false sense of reality for children that they can do whatever they want and get away with it? This is not how the real world works and for this reason a good dose of discipline should be enforced even if that means it is going to cause pain, emotional discomfort, and perhaps negatively affect their self esteem at that given moment. But guess what, they get over it. They cope, they adapt, and they move on with a life lesson. It ultimately builds their strength, character, and confidence.

People mistakenly seem to think that over validating a child will build their confidence. I do not agree with that approach unless a child earned a reason to be validated. Simply telling a child they are good at everything or shaping their mentality that they can do no wrong has the opposite effect by creating a sense of entitlement, laziness, and yet again, a false reality because no one is truly exceptional at everything. Sure they might be feeling good (maybe a little too good) about themselves but it will only last for the short term. If children are wrongfully taught they are “the best” at all times, it is a really rude awakening once they are out in the real world and realize they are not so perfect after all. They actually have to apply themselves and compete for things like everyone else in this world. Ouch–confidence shattered.

At the end of the day, it is okay to point out when a child is not good at something and to put them down with constructive criticism. Why? It provides them a sense of self awareness, a much needed reality check, and [hopefully] motivation for self improvement. They strive to get better at whatever it is that they are not good at or proactively find the things they naturally are good at. They work harder towards achieving excellence rather than falsely believing they are excellent for no real reason.

Tough love will hurt at times and it might also not feel good to make someone feel bad, especially a child because they are very impressionable and might not have the capacity to manage their feelings very well. However, you need to trust that you are actually building them up in the long run even if that means there are times that you are bringing them down. They become more aware of their weaknesses and limitations which provides them room to grow into stronger and more confident individuals.

Relationship for the Wrong Reasons – Do Any of These Apply to You?

When going into any relationship, it is important to be emotionally available while also being at a point in your life where you actually want to pursue one. More importantly, one should consider choosing to be in a relationship for the right reasons. Of course this varies from person to person and it is good to make sure you are both on the same page before anything gets too serious. Often times, people get into a relationship that might appear to be coming from a good place but beneath the surface when you fully examine it, this is not actually the case.

The next time you are dating or building a relationship with someone new, it is important to not only assess the other person’s motives but more importantly, really dig deep and make a self assessment of your true intent. Pretty much it comes down to: Why are you dating this [specific] person? Since that is a rather general question, I want to actually break it down into factors you should really think about in regards to whether or not you are in a relationship for the right reasons or if you are in one for the wrong reasons in which you might need to reconsider if you belong in it to begin with. Here is a general list of quite common but wrongful reasons to be in a relationship:

I don’t like to be alone or feel lonely. – Unfortunately, I see this happen quite often where someone is constantly in a relationship because of their fear of being alone or not having someone there for them when they need them. This is a problem because this simply means that you can date just about *anyone* in order to eliminate your fear of being by yourself. Being single does not have to be a scary thing, so stop perceiving it that way.

I just want to feel loved by someone. – Yes, I would say that love is a basic emotional need that most people crave or desire to have in their lives but first and foremost, you need to love yourself first! I am sure you also have plenty of people within your social circle including family, friends, co-workers, etc. who care about you on a deeper level in which you will be okay if you are not currently with someone who is in love with you.

It is much easier to get over someone if I start fresh with a new relationship. – I get the logic behind this reason but this is definitely the wrong mindset to have when you are getting to know someone new. Especially if the other person broke up with you and there are lingering feelings left behind, there is really no way to move forward with someone new until you are actually over your ex and can wholeheartedly date with a clean slate again.

Being in this relationship is convenient and there are added perks like saving money on living expenses. – A relationship really should not be a business transaction although I understand that once finances get involved, it can easily turn into one. My point is, if your main motive for dating this person is out of convenience to save money or you like that the person does your house chores or whatever it is that feels like a bonus to you, then you do not really like the person for who they are, just what they do to make your life easier.

The other person really likes me and I do not think I will ever find someone who treats me this well. – This is another weak mindset that shows that you have a scarcity mentality where you do not believe you are capable of meeting someone who loves you and worships you–and who you mutually are in love with in return. That is not true unless your mind actually believes that. Staying with someone simply because “this person likes me so much” and it is not exactly mutual on your end is not the right reason to stay. This is called settling. It is not fair to the other person to keep it going if you do not think you can get to the same emotional, physical, and spiritual level with the other person who feels that way towards you. You cannot force it, so don’t.

Everyone else I know is in a relationship right now and on social media. – Okay if you are someone who is that heavily influenced by social media or by what appears “everyone” else is doing, I find that to be a major red flag in and of itself because quite frankly, who cares what other people are doing–(what exactly are you doing?) In other words, you should be staying in your own lane and focus on your own life’s path. This is also the key to developing your own inner happiness.

At the end of the day, if you are going to choose to be with someone, you have to want to be with that person because it is coming from a genuine place in your heart. You also recognize that this person is far from perfect but someone you greatly admire, accept for who they are, want to share your life with, and thoroughly enjoy their companionship.

You Need to Be A Catch Before You Can Catch the Best Fish

I was having a conversation with someone who needed some advice about dating and was not having much luck with it. I think the dating world can be a tough place to be in, I understand that but if you find that you are consistently unlucky in terms of finding matches or people who want to date you, then a different approach is needed. The main focus should be on yourself and what makes you a desirable person. I think often times many people set very high standards for the type of person they want to be with and can be very picky in terms of who they want to date. That is great to know what you are looking for and setting the bar; however, are you also setting the bar that high for yourself? If the question is no, then how can one expect to attract the best matches or any match to begin with?

I come across this quite often when people tell me that they cannot really meet someone and it is very obvious the reason. The harsh reality is this: The person does not have much to offer. There could be one or many contributing factors that lead me to that conclusion such as a lack of self care, unhealthy habits, no clear career path, money problems, lack of self love, etc. In order to be ready for the dating world, wouldn’t one want to be able to offer their best version of themselves to the world? The first step is to become that best version of self because in the process of doing so, I can guarantee that you will automatically without putting any effort into impressing someone else attract someone who would want to pursue you. That essentially is how the law of attraction works. You put in the right positive energy (in this case, investing in yourself) and you attract that positive energy back your way.

At the end of the day, you need to be a catch before you can catch the best fish. 😉 This does not just apply to dating, this can apply to anything such as landing a job or receiving a promotion. You really need to focus on being a catch first and everything else will follow. You will be able to catch the best fish and by this I mean opportunities simply by putting in the work necessary to be best version of yourself. You also have to really want this for yourself before you focus on wanting to be with someone else. That should always be your first priority.