Stop Leaving the Door Open for Dead End Relationships – 3 Ways to Keep the Door Shut

I often times come across people who are in relationships that are on and off. One moment, things are great followed by another day they are broken up. Then the next thing you know, they are back together. There are also scenarios where a relationship is not progressing in any way and it just stays stagnate. Two people go through the motions of being in some sort of “relationship” but at the end of the day either one person or maybe even both do not genuinely see a future but keep it going because they have nothing better going on or maybe just cannot handle the idea of being single. Whatever the situation may be, it is clear these are all relationships with the same outcome–a dead end.

These are definitely not ideal relationships to be in and there are ways to avoid them in its entirety with a conscious effort on your part:

Make a List of Your Relationship Goals – It is always recommended to write goals regarding your career and professional life, so why not write a list of goals in regards to your personal life? Within this list, be specific and focus on all the things you want in a relationship. Also more importantly, specify the things you will not tolerate so that it becomes crystal clear when you come across these things, you will not stay in the relationship and it becomes much more automatic to know when to move on permanently.

Set Boundaries When People Try to Come Back – It is inevitable that people will test your limitations and try to walk into your life like nothing happened. It is your responsibility to set the boundaries by either expressing that you do not want to work things out, keeping communication to an absolute minimum, or simply by stating to that person what your actual boundaries are so they do not try to overstep them. Although sometimes it can be uncomfortable, it is healthy to have a direct conversation with the other person because usually the person is not a mind reader and might not know exactly where they stand in your life.

Know When to Apply No Contact – The power of no contact is essential yet many people never apply it because they are too weak or just do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings. As drastic of this may sound, sometimes a no contact approach is the best solution for various reasons. For starters, no contact provides space in your life to attract the right relationship to manifest versus holding onto a dead end relationship which is setting back your current status along with your future. In addition, when something is over, it truly is best to keep it that way rather than constantly revisiting it knowing that the outcome is never going to change for the better or within anyone’s favor.

Struggles Give Us Strength – Why It Is Important to Embrace Challenges That Life Throws Your Way

Many people try to cut corners and find short cuts to arrive at their final destination and desired end goals. I am all about saving time and depending on the situation, I would probably encourage one to find a way to achieve something in a shorter amount of time versus taking the longer road. However, life really is about embracing the journey including the challenges that come along the way. While many may wish they had more hand outs and help to make their lives easier, this does not truly provide fulfilling happiness in the long term and does not propel you to chase life with tenacity and purpose. Think about it, if you grew up where you never had to work, every material object you wanted was granted, and you always had food along with a roof over your head, why would you be motivated to do anything for yourself? On the other hand, if you did not grow up with many financial resources, I would expect you might be more self motivated and hungry for any opportunity that comes your way because you need to work hard just to survive. This financial struggle is providing you strength because you do not have the luxury to just sit around and do nothing; therefore, you need to go out into the world and figure things out.

That is why I believe that challenges always bring an abundance of benefits such as strength because although there might be discomfort and pain at the immediate moment, over time, you are actually becoming a stronger individual. You not only have to find ways to adapt but when you are out of your comfort zone, this challenges you to expand your mind by coming with solutions along with toughening you up so you can better handle bigger challenges that you are faced with in the future. As the saying goes, “No pain, no gain.”

The next time you are faced with a tough situation, rather than panicking and thinking negatively, shift your mind into believing it is actually a good thing you are going through the experience and that it is only temporary. If you need to seek outside support, this is a good time to be doing so as there are always resources. Remember, everything at the end of the day is going to be okay and the challenge is actually for the greater good of your self development and is meant to be a part of your life’s path.

Focus on the Foundation More Than Feelings for Long Term Relationship Success

I think we have all been there before at some point within our lives where our heart fills up with butterflies upon entering a new relationship. Your feelings drive the highs of the relationship and you’re on cloud nine 24/7. I believe this is a great start to any relationship but there comes a time where you need to think with your head a little more than your heart in order to get back to reality. The reality is, feelings do fade over time. I can say from personal experience that I have fallen out of love plenty of times within my lifetime. It is the worst reality to experience but quite a common one which explains why most long term relationships do not survive in the long run. So what exactly can be done to prevent this? This is why I emphasize that you cannot get hooked on the feelings you have towards someone–no matter how great the person might make you feel in the present moment or how much you love having them be a part of your life. You really need to examine the relationship by looking many steps ahead (such as seeing if you both have the same life goals along with wanting the same things within the relationship) but more importantly, focus on the foundation of the relationship above anything else.

Now I know you might be wondering, what exactly are the key components that make up the foundation of a strong and stable relationship? This is where you need to do your homework by digging deep from within to figure out what is most important to you. What are your values and beliefs? What are your spending and saving habits? How do you enjoy your free time? How much time do you like to spend with your partner and by yourself? There are many factors to consider when choosing a life partner which is why it is essential to really think about what you care about most and compare them with the person you are dating to see if your priorities are in alignment and determine the level of your compatibility. Many people fail to really find out this information during the dating phase and get too caught up in the moment which ultimately leads to the relationship fizzling over time because there was no emphasis on building a strong foundation from the ground up. If the foundation is there from the start, it is much easier to maintain the relationship while also continuing to grow together over time.

3 Ways to Become Emotionally Attached to Your Goals and Why It’s Important

If you set goals that you do not really care much about, I can safely bet that you are not very likely to achieve them. If you have a feeling of indifference towards the goal in which you do not have any emotional attachment towards or you truly believe it is unattainable, then chances are the accomplished goal will never manifest. This is why it is extremely important to form an emotional attachment towards your goals. When you become emotionally invested and actually attached to the goals that you set, you will automatically be thinking about them regularly and as you know, your deepest thoughts become things and manifest over time. That is the beauty of the Laws of Attraction, it really does work when you feed your mind with your desires and an abundance of positivity on a daily basis in order to propel you to take the action needed to magnetize what you want most. It is never too late in your life to spiritually strengthen your mindset and start attracting everything you ask for in this Universe. [Remember, we live in a world of abundance (even during times when it might not feel that way). Everything you are desiring right now is on its way, more specifically the goals that you emotionally attach yourself to. The Universe might have a stronger control of determining the when but YOU are in full control of your mind by determining the what].

So how do you become emotionally attached to your goals? For starters, how badly do you want these things? What are the sacrifices you are willing to make to achieve them? How much are you willing to step out of your comfort zone for the greater good of manifesting your dreams? Are you willing to fail in order to succeed? These are some of the prerequisite questions you need to think about prior to really setting your mind to something you want to achieve. Again, if your goal is not something you truly want or something that your mind could stay fixated on, then you won’t get to the end goal. There is nothing wrong with that, it just means that you need to really dig deep and think about what it is that you would like to accomplish in place of it. Once you do a little soul searching to figure out your goals, there are ways to now bond an emotional attachment towards them.

Write Down Specific Goals and Read Them Every Day – I cannot stress the importance of writing down your goals as detailed as possible and then actually taking the time to read them–otherwise out of sight, out of mind. Storing them in your mind is great but having a tangible index card or journal in which your goals are written down to be read is even more beneficial because it keeps you focused on them and eventually you become obsessed–aka emotionally attached. This is a good thing as it should also ignite some excitement and evoke positive emotions from within to really attain them.

Visualize It Happening Right Now and Focus on How Good You Will Feel Once It is Accomplished – If you visualize yourself experiencing the outcome of your goal, it should make you feel amazing. Maybe the process of getting there might not feel that way but once you achieve it, it should bring you ultimate bliss–so stay focused on that blissful feeling of the end result. When you envision yourself fully embracing your dreams, your mind will find ways to turn this into an actual reality because you already planted the seed in your mind that this is how your life is going to unfold. These positive emotions towards your goal will keep you emotionally attached.

Appreciate Every Little Step You Are Taking to Fulfill Your Goal – In other words, embrace the journey and genuinely cherish any minor accomplishment or stepping stone that was taken to manifest your goal. It is crucial to feel a deep sense of gratitude every step of the way. The Universe will shower you with abundance simply by practicing gratitude and being thankful. Being conscious of every moment, action, and experience associated with achieving your goal will naturally keep you emotionally attached to the point where quitting is not even an option because nothing is stopping you from reaching the end result.

Gratitude is the Right Attitude – 5 Quotes to Keep Your Spirits Up

In celebration of Thanksgiving, I thought it would be best to keep up the theme of gratitude for the day although it is important that it is practiced on a daily basis. I found some great quotes to share that will keep your spirits up and help your mind stay focused on gratitude because we all know that gratitude is the right attitude! 😉

“Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast.” – Melody Beattie

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” – Eckhart Tolle

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is to not utter the words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy

“The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see.” – Robert Holden

“The more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased. That’s because – for sure – what you focus on expands. When you focus on the goodness in your life, your life expands.” – Oprah Winfrey

[Happy Thanksgiving! Just a quick end note to thank everyone for reading my blog! I appreciate all of my readers and getting the opportunity to share my positivity with you all!]

Spending Thanksgiving Alone for the First Time? – 5 Ways to Make the Most of It

With the pandemic going through another wave of increased positivity rates in the United States, health professionals are strongly urging people to reconsider their plans this year. As a result, this will leave many people feeling lonely along with feeling significantly inconvenienced by not having a joyous holiday that they are traditionally used to. However, we need to really look at the bigger picture at hand. Is it worth potentially infecting others or getting sick yourself? It is for this reason that we need to make it a priority to think about the safety of the ones we love most. If that means we cannot be with our family and friends this year, everything is going to be okay at the end of the day. There will be plenty of holidays, gatherings, and opportunities in the future to look forward to when things are better so it is okay if this year will be rather isolated, boring, and just different.

If you are left spending Thanksgiving alone out of safety precaution, due to being in a position to quarantine, or maybe you’re currently infected or experiencing symptoms where it is not safe to be around others, there are ways to cope and make it a great day.

Set up Times to Connect with Family/Friends via Zoom or by Phone – Many people are throwing a “Zoom Thanksgiving” this year where they are meeting virtually via Zoom. You can also connect with family and friends the old fashioned way by telephone. I would definitely utilize the holiday to connect with someone, whatever platform works best for you.

Order or Cook an Extravagant Meal – Don’t feel like cooking this year? Then order a meal from a restaurant you can enjoy at home. If you love to cook, then this is a great opportunity to cook up a fancy feast just for yourself.

Find a Unique Place to Go – Personally, if I was left completely by myself, I would have had a local accommodation booked by now just for a change of scenery. I would find a cute boutique hotel or bed and breakfast and look at it as a vacation for a day to just relax and treat myself. You can very easily book a hotel or AirBnB just as an escape and something to look forward to as opposed to being stuck at home alone.

Find a Fun Solo Activity – Depending on where you live, you can enjoy the outdoors (weather permitting) and go for a hike. If you are not into outdoor stuff, then whatever it is that you like to do by yourself, go for it! It will distract your mind from feeling lonely while also making you feel good to do something you love.

Be Thankful / Express Gratitude Towards Others – Although this year has brought challenges that has required life adjustments to be made along with obstacles to overcome, there are still so many things in your life to be thankful for. Be sure to reflect on the things that you are most thankful for–even if it is something like the bare necessities such as having a roof over your head and an unlimited supply of toilet paper. Maybe you are extremely thankful for someone who has stepped up in your life and been there to support you in every way possible. It is also during this time that you should express your gratitude towards the people you are most thankful for as I am sure they appreciate you and it will also brighten their day to know how much they are valued by you! 🙂

Self Love is Not About How Many Selfies You Post on Social Media – (It is This Instead)

One of the many themes of this blog is the concept of self love because possessing self love is not only healthy but it will also guide you in making the right decisions in regards to your personal relationships. In other words, when you love yourself, then you are less likely to be in situations where people are not treating you right and it will become pretty automatic to weed out the wrong people from your life in its entirety. You will develop a zero tolerance for misbehavior policy because you are just too damn worth it to have to settle or deal with the nonsense (lol–heck, it’s true)!

In today’s modern culture where social media is prevalent and has become a significant part of our daily lives (not everyone of course but the majority), I find that there is such a thing as people who overshare selfies or just photos of oneself. Now if you are in a career such as a model where you are promoting yourself through the use of artistic images as a portfolio in order to collect more work for yourself then by all means, I find that it makes total sense to post them for professional reasons and I understand the logic behind that. However, most people are not professional models or are in a field that would require posting photos of oneself on the regular.

I find people who pretty much only post selfies or do so on a daily basis tend to lack self love because they are in constant need of validation from the outside world and in need of likes, comments, and attention in order to feel good or to feel relevant. Someone who has self love does not need to rely on social validation from others to feel good because it radiates from within. They know they look good already so they do not need to over project their image to the world. They seek validation in more meaningful ways than just images of themselves. Anyone who knows they are attractive or smart or whatever value they offer do not need people to be reminding them of these things. Someone who does not naturally have self love will be looking for it in all the wrong places and their validation will come from a place of neediness and scarcity.

I do not think there is any harm in sharing a photo of yourself enjoying a life experience or maybe you really had a nice outfit to share–I would just suggest to be more selective in the images you post so it does not make you come off as someone who is desperate for attention from others and that you offer more valuable substance than what you look like on the outside. Plus with all these filters and photo editing apps, who really knows if these images are truly that authentic anymore. I also believe that the less selfies you post, the more valuable it is when you actually do take the time to post a photo of yourself so make it count by limiting your selfies and by sharing other aspects of your life that don’t revolve around your image but maybe a hobby, event, destination, family, friends, etc.

Your Strongest Mentality IS the Reality No Matter What Anyone Else Thinks

Ever think about what exactly shapes your reality? You can meet someone who appears to be less fortunate than yourself yet they still possess such a positive mentality which then ultimately equates to their reality being a rather good one despite how it might look on the surface or to an outsider. For example, over the weekend I saw on the news a young girl (not sure her age but she could have been anywhere between 16-20 years old) who was interviewed explaining how ecstatic she was to obtain a job at a restaurant. I know your initial thought might be, “That is not such a big deal where she should be featured on the news for it, it is not like she received a job that required much education or was of a high status. Just about anyone can pick up a job at a restaurant rather easily.” However, she was homeless her entire life so this was actually a substantial deal and a turning point in her life as most places would not have even given her the opportunity to interview because she was homeless without any credentials that she could even put on a resume. The employer who also was interviewed had explained that she could relate to the girl as she knows what it is like to be homeless and not being able to find a job. It was actually quite touching to watch this small news segment because it goes to show that a strong mentality is your reality.

It really does not matter where you came from or how much you have or don’t have at this present moment in time. What matters most is that you continue to keep your mentality strong so that you can continue to work towards the things you want to achieve while also being able to manage the curve balls life throws your way. When life provides you challenges, you cannot take it as a moment to bring you down and shake your reality into a negative one. You need to internalize that there is a greater good at the end along with also knowing that ‘this too shall pass.’

The same goes for when someone tries to put you down or tell you that you’re not enough or whatever the negative thought might be. Just because that is what they think does NOT mean it has any validity whatsoever or that it has to cloud your reality. This is a situation in which you just need to let it go in one ear and out the other. Why? What is there to gain from putting your energy towards negative energy? A huge, NO THANK YOU! Again, if you have a strong mentality then as I said, that IS your reality–no one can change that because you are in full control of your mind! 😉 No one can break you down because you keep your head up high and pay no peace of mind to the negativity. So stay in control by being mindful of your mentality in order to live your very best reality!

The Importance of Chasing Intrinsic Happiness if You Want to Be Successful

What is success? Everyone has a different view as to what success means to them. Success to one person could mean an abundance of fortune while to someone else it could mean achieving fame or perhaps it could be a combination of both and so much more. Success can mean different things to different people. Despite success being translated in various ways, one universal principle that will keep you on the pathway to success comes down to your constant pursuit of intrinsic happiness. The reason why I want to emphasize the intrinsic aspect of happiness is because it really needs to come from within your soul (and not someone else’s). It has to be automatic, natural, authentic, and ultimately make you feel good inside.

If you are pursuing things in life for the sake the of it, everybody’s doing it, or someone tells you it is a good idea when you do not feel the same way, that does not equate as success in my book because it does not revolve around doing what brings you intrinsic happiness. For example, society likes to paint a picture of how your life is meant to play out. In order to have a successful career, you need to pursue an education by going to college. So does that mean that every “successful” career requires a college degree? Absolutely not! Especially in today’s modern world, there are plenty of ways to work towards a successful career that might not require a formal education. The same goes for marriage. It might appear that you need to get married by a certain age in order to reach a high level of success within your personal life but some people might not have the desire to get married or have a family. A person focused on intrinsic happiness while doing it solo can still have the capacity to attract success into their lives and sometimes even more so even if it appears that their personal life was compromised.

At the end of the day, you really need to ask yourself, what makes you happy from the inside out? What brings you joy and makes you feel excited to be alive? When choosing a career path that leads to success, opting for a job that guarantees a hefty salary might be a strong motivating factor but you need to also love what you do. If you dread going to work or hate your job, then maybe it is time to leave your field altogether and try something new. It is never too late to reinvent yourself. I also truly believe that whatever it is that you gravitate towards in life, the money will follow and you can make a living from it. Some paths will take longer than others but with the Laws of Attraction put into place, you do not need to worry so much about the how and when but rather trust the process by trusting what your soul is telling you to chase in life. We all have one life to live–so let’s make it count by investing our energy and time into the things that provide us a life full of purpose and personal satisfaction which will ultimately bring us a heightened level of success in all areas of our lives. 🙂

Complacency Kills Attraction – 5 Ways to Prevent This From Happening

There are many factors as to why a relationship might come to an end but I think a very common one is complacency in which two people do not do put much effort to keep the relationship strong and healthy. With anything in life, what you invest your energy towards is what you will receive in return. I do believe it takes both people to want to make it work. Having one person giving everything while the other person doesn’t do anything will build resentment and ultimately break the foundation of any relationship because 50% (the one person’s effort) is never enough. As the common saying goes, it takes two to tango.

Designate Specific Times to be Together – When two people live very busy lives balancing their careers and families, it is easy for date nights and quality time to go completely out the window. However, if two people make an effort to find designated times a week or within the month to be together, this can definitely keep the connection going while giving both people something to look forward to.

Find Little Ways to Make Someone Happy – People know how to do nice things on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays but why do people have to wait for these milestones to hit in order to express love towards one another? If you take the time to truly understand your partner, it should be rather easy to find ways to make the person happy in the most simplest ways. It does not have to be about how much money is spent, it could be a small gesture like sending lunch to their work for no reason or maybe giving the person a massage after a long work day if that is something they enjoy.

Give Each Other Space to Rebuild Attraction – I know this sounds counterintuitive but there is such a thing as spending too much time with each other. No matter who it is, over time, one if not both people are bound to get bored of each other if too much time is spent together. It is good to still keep some personal space and have individual activities you do without each other so that the actual time you do spend together holds more value.

Make Sacrifices for the Greater Good of the Relationship – Every couple has their differences which can cause problems to arise over time; however, it is important to be the bigger person and make sacrifices for the other person if it is going to bring you both closer in the long run. If this also means finding ways to take turns with each other’s personal preferences such as the types of movies/TV shows you watch, then it is important to do so to allow for both people to feel that their needs are equally being met.

Try New Activities and Discover New Places Together – Variety really is the spice in life and this goes for adding variety in your daily life, especially with your partner. You both might have established some favorite places and activities that you both enjoy together such as a favorite vacation spot but it is always good to expand your horizons by incorporating new things together.