The holiday season is a good time to determine the longevity of any serious relationship and to measure the quality of it. For me personally, I always say that if I am with someone who ruins my holiday or birthday, the relationship is over. I know that sounds rather extreme but typically the holiday season is meant to be filled with happy memories. So if the holidays bring tension and frustration, one really needs to evaluate whether they are with the right person. It is much better to be single than settle on being with someone who is consistently bringing your life down. (FYI, I believe this is a basic dating rule that everyone should adapt and apply within their lives).
What if your relationship has been on the rocks for quite some time and the holidays are approaching? Do you break up before the holidays or afterwards? I notice that many people choose to hold off until after the holidays thinking that this is a “better time” to do it as no one wants to be left heartbroken before a holiday or have to spend this time alone. The truth of the matter is that there is no “great time” to break up with someone in the sense that no matter what time of year it is, it typically is going to make the other person feel bad. So instead of looking at it like, “Oh let me spare my partner of feeling hurt during a happy time and let’s just keep this going until the new year,” the right mentality should be replaced with this instead: “It is a major disservice to string this person along when I am mentally checked out of the relationship. I am making the very best decision for both parties to end it NOW rather than dragging it on to protect someone’s heart–even if that means that Christmas is around the corner.” Let’s pretend for a moment that you are the person that is on the verge of getting dumped. If it was me and I was in a situation where I knew there was a chance that things were not going to last much longer, I would much rather that the other person dumped me as soon as possible as opposed to going through the motions of experiencing a holiday together when the love wasn’t fully there on their end. I just don’t understand why people feel that they need to fake their feelings for someone just to prevent that person from getting heartbroken. Yes, it never feels good inside to hurt another person but I think it is far more detrimental to waste someone’s precious time and give someone the false hope that you are in love with them when you are not.
People need to look at the bigger picture and do what is authentic, even if that means that there are going to be some uncomfortable feelings along the way. If you genuinely feel unhappy and that you’re not with the right person, as I said before, do everyone a favor and have the strength to end it now–not after the holidays.
A co worker had once made the analogy, “Love is like a garden” and I thought to myself, yes, this is very accurate. I believe that any relationship, even the best of relationships require work and tender loving care for it to continue to nourish and stay healthy. The same goes with a garden–in order to ensure that the plants last, it is expected that you take the responsibility to water the plants, pull out the weeds, and put in a good amount of time for it to keep growing. One can’t expect plants to look beautiful and grow on its own if it is neglected and not taken care of.
It takes two people to want to take care of their garden, aka their relationship. You can’t expect one to put in all the work and the other to not contribute in any way. You also can’t lessen the amount of effort you put into the partnership simply because you have been together for a long period of time. I mention both of these scenarios because this is what I see happens most frequently–either the relationship becomes a one sided one or people don’t show as much appreciation towards one another as they did in the earlier stages of their relationship. No matter what happens in life, it is essential for both people to stay committed in keeping their garden a flourishing one. The bottom line is that love has the capacity to last a lifetime given that two people equally put in the work that is needed to keep it strong and everlasting. ❤
I notice that people tend to have very opposing views when it comes to having friends of the opposite sex. There are some people who do not think it is possible to have opposite gender friends without romantic feelings developing at some point from either party (or both) while others believe it is totally possible to form a platonic friendship without it leading to anything more. My immediate answer to this is that everything is situational. Of course there are instances where friends can become more than friends but there are also plenty of instances where these friendships are mutually platonic. The real question should be, when do they become a threat on a relationship?
Frequency of Contact – If someone is talking to a friend of the opposite sex quite often, like everyday and multiple times throughout the day, I would say this friend can easily be seen as a threat on any relationship. The reason being that this person is getting a ton of emotional support and attention from their friend which I think over time can allow for two people to develop a closer connection and for romantic feelings to start at any given point. Even if both parties initially had no attraction towards one another, this attraction can still build over time due to how often they stay connected on a daily basis.
Quality Time Spent – When two people spend quality time together, I think it is inevitable that two people can start to like each other. On the other hand, sometimes two people genuinely have the same interests and have the same hobbies so they might just get together to share these commonalities. If you’re in a relationship and you notice that your partner is meeting up with a friend privately (as in you are never invited) for long periods of time or often enough for you to notice, it is worth having a conversation to determine if this friend is really just a friend or if more is going on behind closed doors. If you make the assessment that the other person is more than a friend and your partner is more concerned with keeping them as a close friend, it is to your best interest to break it off before their relationship escalates to a point where you are going to be left heartbroken in the long run anyhow.
Type of Conversations – I am not sure the best way to word this but basically pay attention to what their conversations consist of. Do these two people work together and strictly talk about work? Or is there underlying flirting and deep conversations transpiring between the two? If you see one or both people are relying heavily on each other for emotional support as opposed to just talking about surface level stuff, then you have every right to question it and see it as a red flag. Again, the best way to get to bottom of it is to openly ask your partner. If you still feel uneasy about the situation then use your intuition as a guide to make a firm decision as to whether or not this relationship is worth continuing. Chances are that your intuition is spot on and that you should move on to find a partner who wants to give you their full attention and make you a top priority over these so-called “friends.”
As the upcoming holiday season approaches, we all know with that comes many celebrations and social gatherings. Since we are still in the middle of a pandemic, there might be a lesser amount of parties but I am sure there are still festivities to be celebrated. It is common for people to put on excess weight during this time because there are often more decadent foods and there tends to be a lack of structure during this time of year when prepping for the holidays. It happens and can be expected although there are ways to still enjoy this festive time and stay fit at the same time. I will discuss some healthy tips that will allow yourself to stay healthy but also not leave yourself feeling deprived.
Don’t Neglect Your Exercise Regime – I recognize that December can be an incredibly stressful and busy time of year, especially if you have a family and find yourself busier than usual with holiday activities. If you normally have a fitness routine, still continue to follow it as best you can or find creative ways to add exercise into your day. That might mean getting up a little earlier to fit it in or having to work out during times you normally would not be. Whatever you can do to find a way to keep your body moving will make a difference and remember that every little bit of exercise is better than absolutely nothing.
Indulge Within Moderation – Everything always comes back to moderation and this is especially helpful with making the right eating choices. When you are at a party or special event, I encourage you to eat what you love but it is important not to overeat because if you consistently overeat during these events, it is inevitable that you will put on excess weight. What I like to do is start with a small plate of all my favorite foods and create a little sampler. This way I can try everything and determine what I really enjoyed and get a little bit more of it if I choose to. Typically, I will already feel full after one plate but if I am still hungry, then I will go for a second plate and just grab what I enjoyed most. This way I don’t feel deprived but I still listen to my body to determine when I am full. By applying this same technique, you will be able to indulge within moderation.
Opt For Overall Healthier Choices – I know this can be tricky when you have access to more unhealthier foods and treats than you normally would. As I pointed out before, it is okay to have these things within moderation but it is also wise to choose the healthier food options that are available as opposed to filling your plate with all junk. The holiday season should not be a pass for all healthy eating habits to go out the window. You still want to try to eat as balanced of a diet as you can during this time of year while adding some treats that you don’t have all the time within reason.
With the end of any relationship, there can be a mix of emotions ranging from deep sadness to loneliness to emotional grief. No matter who initiated the breakup, I would say that most people usually feel down afterwards and that it is common for people to feel like a failure after any serious relationship or marriage ends. Although many people go into a relationship with their best intentions and the hopes for a long term future, it is inevitable that not all relationships are built to last forever and guess what–that’s OKAY!!! It is okay to break up a relationship if there wasn’t enough compatibility or if you grew apart or if you found yourself extremely unhappy with your partner. Whatever the case may be or whatever caused the relationship to end, it is important to remember that a failed relationship does not define you and that you should never feel like a failure because of it. It is up to you to keep your mind strong and let the time that is needed to heal so you can move on. By move on, that can mean different things to different people. For some, that might mean working on self and living an independent life. For others, that could mean finding the right life partner or companion at a later time in life. Everyone’s life journey is different and hence navigating life after a breakup is going to vary depending on one’s personal situation.
While coping with the breakup, rather than seeing it as wasted time or feeling like a failure, you have to look at the important life lessons you gained from it and utilize these lessons to shape you for a better future. From a spiritual standpoint, don’t question why you went through what you went through. Instead, recognize that the outcome all happened for a reason and that it ultimately had to happen to lead to the greater good of your life–which you have not even experienced yet. I truly believe that you have to go through some hardships at times to set yourself up for a better path. This is a gentle reminder that life cannot only consist of rainbows and happiness at all times. We all need to “fail” in order to succeed and this same basic principle applies to your personal relationships. While some relationships were destined to end, that doesn’t mean that you should give up on dating altogether or that you will continue to attract dead end relationships. Your mindset just needs to shift into a more positive one along with trusting that you will be okay and without a hint of doubt know that better things are on the horizon. ❤
Today is Thanksgiving and I did not plan on writing much because I wanted to enjoy the day with family and loved ones but I also did not want the day to go by without putting out a warm holiday greeting. If you celebrate, I hope you find a way to cherish this time as a time of gratitude. Be thankful for the people you have in your life. Be thankful for everything you have right now. Ultimately, be thankful today but everyday because there is always something to be grateful for!
Also a huge thank you to those who take the time to visit my blog or choose to subscribe and follow my posts. Blogging is a wonderful hobby but also a great platform to express my thoughts within this modern digital world we live in and to connect with others! It is a very cool extension of my life and I am grateful to have a place where I can promote positivity and influence others to live their very best lives! 🙂 Thank you everyone for reading, I genuinely appreciate the love and support–you all are wonderful and mean the world to me! ❤
Throughout life, everyone should make it a point to set personal goals for themselves. After completing a goal, you might find a way to celebrate your achievements or feel an inner sense of personal fulfillment as you should. However, from there it is important to expand on your goals and/or to create new ones in order to keep progressing in life. That is why as the title states, “just when you think you’re done, you have just begun.” In other words, just when you think, “mission accomplished,” it is actually just the beginning because there is still so much to achieve within one’s lifetime!
Similar to playing a video game, we live our lives navigating from one level to the next. No one wants to stay on the same level forever as staying stagnant can get very boring. At the same time, it is okay if certain levels take longer to master than others because if you are blazing through too quickly, that could mean that you are not challenging yourself enough to begin with. It is important to take the time to really examine where you are right now and to more thoroughly think about what the next level or goal you are looking to achieve means to you. From there, it is up to you to take the action needed to fulfill your goals and from there plan on striving for even more. Remember that abundance attracts even more abundance which is why it is essential to always be aspiring to acquire the most out of life!
Ever notice that people are more interested in you when you are already in a relationship? Then when you are actually single, these same people don’t give you the time of day? Is this a strange coincidence? No–I think not. I understand human nature enough to understand the psychology behind what is going here. This is not to say that I agree with it but it does make some sort of sense in an irrational sort of way. As I have mentioned in previous posts, love is often not a rational choice so it is not as easily within our control unless we are more mindful of our dating decisions.
Aside from this basic love principle, the main reason why people might be more interested in you when you are taken is because people tend to want what they cannot have or something that is out of their reach. In other words, if you are in a relationship, that means that you are off the market and hence more desirable because you are unattainable. When anything is unattainable, this raises its value and attraction level. Think about when you go shopping, anything that you had to work really hard to save up money to buy will always be seen as higher value as opposed to something that you were able to purchase rather easily or that was inexpensive to begin with. This is why no matter what state the economy is in, there will always be a demand for luxury goods which therefore would explain why people will continue to buy them. Are these products necessarily better? Not necessarily but our perception tends to guide us to view these name brand products to be of higher value due its higher cost and desire to obtain them.
If you find that you like someone and the other person is not single, it is best to move on and make a conscious choice to find someone who is both of high value and available at the same time. Trust me, this person exists if you believe that you can find this person in your future because your thoughts do very well become things (aka they will manifest if you think about it enough and actually believe in your thoughts). If you are in the opposite situation where you are with someone and now someone who was not interested in you is all of a sudden interested in you, then the truth of the matter is–too little too late. It is not worth entertaining this option if you are happily in a relationship because this person might not even have a genuine interest in you and only have developed an interest because you are no longer available.
I would agree that motivation is an important factor when determining the height of success but one cannot rely strictly on motivation alone. The reason being is that motivation is very much based upon your emotional state and feelings. Although I believe that some people are naturally born with more motivation than others or were pushed to become motivated at a young age, the reality is that some days one is going to feel motivated while other days motivation might be nonexistent. Most of the time, I might be a highly motivated individual but that’s not to say I feel that way every single day. Motivation might not always be stable but something that is going to be more reliable is your ability to make commitments to yourself and the goals that you want to achieve in life.
A commitment is more firm and definitive than motivation is. If you choose to make a commitment towards anything that you are passionate about, you are on the right path to success because you set a defined intention and made a decision in regards to your desired outcome of life. It is for this reason why it is important to think about what you want most and from there, make a commitment to yourself that this is the way in which you want to live your life. This is why vision boards and writing down concrete goals on index cards are extremely effective tools because they serve as a visual road map of your intent along with demonstrating your level of commitment towards these goals. While to some, this practice might seem like a waste of time or be totally bogus or futile, there are people on the other side of the spectrum who are truly devoted and committed enough to want to create these things. Why? It actually works! 😉
Initially I wanted this blog to focus mostly on relationship topics; however, I did not want to limit myself in terms of the content as I like to cover various things ranging from health/fitness to manifestation to so much more. Although I am by no means a dating coach, I do believe I can offer valuable dating advice based upon basic psychology, examining other people’s dating lives, personal experiences, and dating coaches that I will listen to on YouTube from time to time. There are many who exist and even though some have a massive following, I don’t feel that they are necessarily the best out there. What I notice is that there are many dating coaches who gender bash the opposite sex in which I do not trust those type of dating coaches. Think about it, if you’re listening to a woman and you notice there’s an underlying pattern where she talks about how much men are useless and that they’re mostly players, why would anyone seek to listen to this person if their goal is to create a happy and healthy relationship? The same goes with male dating coaches. There are many male dating coaches who put women down and it can range from anything about a woman being too old to a woman being too young or how women keep multiple men around, cheat, and more. As a basic rule, if a dating coach puts down the opposite sex on a regular basis and that is one of their common themes, these are people who probably never recovered from their past or are just negative people to begin with.
I think if you are going to seek any type of relationship advice, you want to follow someone who actually has something good to say about the opposite sex and has a general positive outlook on dating. Relationships will have its ups and downs but at the end of the day, you still want to have a positive approach to dating. Dating coaches can be helpful but be selective in who you choose to listen to. Some have really great insight and knowledge whereas others just don’t bring much to the table in terms of providing quality advice. Aside from dating coaches, it is also helpful to rely most on your intuition when you are in the dating world and to talk to people within your support system who know you best when asking for any type of relationship advice.