Tag Archives: the Universe

Don’t Let a Scarcity Mindset Ruin Your Dating Life

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There are many factors that can hinder people from having a successful dating life and one of the biggest that I see are those who possess a scarcity mindset. What is a scarcity mindset and how does it apply to dating? A scarcity mindset stems from the thought that there are limited options and that there are not enough resources to go around. So as a result, a person with a scarcity mindset believes that they must hold onto dear life everything that they have because something else might not come their way. I can assure you that this is extremely far from the truth! Let’s not forget that we live in an abundant world with lots of opportunities which means that you should never settle upon anything and this is especially true when it comes to dating!

Here are the most common things that I hear people say and I am here to tell you that this is NOT the way to think because it is coming from a place of scarcity when you should train your brain to live ABUNDANTLY.

“I am not happy with my current relationship but I do not think that I could ever find someone again.” – This is a horrible way to think! This essentially is saying that it is okay to settle for unhappiness because there is no hope in finding someone who could be a better suited match. I do believe that two people can find a healthy way to make things work within a relationship but at the same time, if in your heart you know that this is not the one, it is not wise to keep the relationship going just because you do not think you could find someone better. You won’t know unless you break off the relationship, put yourself out there, and explore other dating opportunities.

“I do not think that I will ever find someone this good so I will do whatever it takes to keep them in my life, even if that means that I have to make personal sacrifices that I am not happy about.” – This to me not only conveys that this person has a scarcity mindset but it also shows that this person holds onto many insecurities. I say this because a secure person would not feel they have to bend over backwards just to keep someone around and would want an equal partnership. Someone who is very insecure might feel they have to do a lot in order to compensate for what they are lacking inside and feel that they will only be loved if they go above and beyond for the other person even if that means that the other person is not reciprocating and treats them as a doormat.

“I am never going to find anyone so what is the point of even looking?” – Wow, I do not think it could get much worse than this! This is such a depressing way to think and goes to show that a person that thinks this way is not thinking with an abundant mind. A person with an abundance mindset would know that there is someone for everyone and that they will eventually find their match because there are plenty of people they could connect with and potentially date.

Good Dating Rule to Follow: No Effort? – No Interest

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I read this recently — “no effort, no interest” and thought that this concept was not only concise but brilliant. If people took the time to follow this basic principle, they would save themselves from a lot of heartache and wasted time. If someone is not showing interest, while the natural instinct might be to chase more or to ask where you stand or to do more for the other person in order to feel validated, the BEST thing you could do is not engage anymore and to move on. Why stay interested in someone who is not putting in any effort or that gives you a feeling of uncertainty? I understand how hard it is to fight human nature but if you can make a conscious effort to move forward and not waste your time, you would be in a much better spiritual place.

When you are dating someone new, usually the signs are clear from the beginning whether or not the person is showing enough interest or not. Sometimes you will notice someone put in a lot of effort in the very beginning but as time goes on, the person might slowly drift away. Again, rather than trying very hard to hold onto this existing connection, it is best to let it go as soon as you notice the person is starting to put in less effort. If the person wants to keep you in their lives, then this person will find a way to do so without you having to put in all the work all the time. It is also important to remind yourself that we live in a very abundant world so for every door that closes, there is not only another one but a better one ready to be opened. People often forget about this when they are in the dating world and just want to hold onto the one person that is not giving them the level of interest that is desired because they do not realize that there is a much better connection out there for them. As soon as you notice a person is not putting in any effort or showing enough interest, then you should no longer be interested! Just cut your losses and keep it moving–bottom line.

Remember that this rule should apply to everyone! For example, if you are trying to win back an ex and they are showing zero interest in keeping you in your life, why bother trying anymore? Just cut the cord and this person out of your life altogether! Remember that this person is labeled an “ex” for a reason. I know that it is easily said than done but the sooner you can move on from this person, the sooner you can progress by working on yourself or getting yourself in a place where you are ready to start a new relationship. So the next time you are in a situation where someone is putting in little to no effort into their relationship with you, that is your cue to back off and lose interest because this person is not meeting your standards and/or ultimately giving you the validation that you are deserving of.

Dating Advice for Men – Build Intimacy and Invest Emotionally at the Same Time

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Last week, I wrote an article for women with some dating advice and decided to follow up this week with a dating advice blog for men. While certain advice applies to both genders, there is certain advice that is gender specific. I wrote previously about how women are motivated by relationships that lead to marriage; however, with men–it is safe to say that most men are motivated to connect with women on a physical level. There is nothing wrong with that but what creates a divide is when men rush that phase of the process and/or fail to focus on the emotional connection as well. Most women do not want to be objectified by men or feel as though that men are only looking to hook up with them. Many men make the mistake of coming on too strong physically whether that is with their actions or their words. This can easily turn off a woman in its entirety or she will just come to the conclusion that the guy is not a serious guy along with labeling him as a waste of her time and moving on to a better catch.

This leads to a very important question: How do men avoid this from happening and become the ultimate catch in the eyes of the woman of their interest? First and foremost, as I want to point out from the start, it is essential to actually BE A CATCH! From there, men can work on certain skills to improve their dating lives because as we all know–good looks, success, money, assets, etc. are never enough if a man does not know how to treat a woman. Men need to learn to also be patient with the process like women but for different reasons. They need to build intimacy slowly (in other words, do not rush the pace of their physical relationship) AND invest emotionally at the same time. It is possible to create genuine intimacy through physical touch such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing, hugging, etc. WITHOUT sex being involved. I truly believe that intimacy is the key to creating natural attraction and developing an attachment between two people which ultimately can lead to both a long term relationship and an incredibly satisfying physical one as well over time when it is supposed to. While I tell women not to rush into serious relationships, the same goes for men to stop rushing into a physical relationship with a woman without taking the proper time that is needed to actually get to know her and to bond with her by establishing a deep emotional connection first.

If you authentically like a woman and are pursuing her for the right reasons, it is important to SHOW her this by being consistent in your efforts when emotionally investing in her while building intimacy without pushing the envelope when it comes to having a physical relationship with her right away. This also creates trust and will make her feel more comfortable with you when she is ready to take the relationship to the next level. Even if she is open to exploring a physical relationship with you after a short time of knowing you, I still recommend denying her of sex to make it clear that you are not interested in her for a casual relationship and that you want to continue to better get to know each other first. In return, this will also earn more of her RESPECT towards you and most likely make her feel even more attracted to you (yes, it is amazing how reverse psychology often works as it does here). As always, remember to TRUST THE PROCESS because anything worth your while will take time so you might as well enjoy it while continuing to stay confident in your abilities to manifest your desires!

Dating Advice for Women – Stop Rushing Into Serious Relationships and Here’s Why

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As a woman, I understand that most of us cherish being in a long term relationship that will hopefully lead into a solid marriage and perhaps the opportunity to create a family in the future. I am not against this desire and I believe that if this is something that a woman wants to manifest into her life, then she should hold onto this vision and not give up until she makes it a reality. However, the way a woman approaches this can vary and oftentimes I see women rush into serious relationships as soon as possible which usually ends up either scaring the man away or she ends up settling on being with the wrong man because she was on an agenda to lock someone into a permanent relationship as soon as she can.

My best advice for women is to simply, TRUST THE PROCESS and to take things slow. People in general need to learn to trust the process when it comes to just about everything in life including personal relationships. When you trust that you will manifest what you want in the right time in your life, you are left feeling confident within your soul and you banish any anxiety or stress related to your goals because you know that your desires are on the way and will be delivered to you. I find that many women put themselves into a scarcity mindset where they panic if they do not find a husband by a certain age or they have this mentality that they will never find the right man for them at the time that they want which is usually right now. The key is PATIENCE paired with a POSITIVE outlook and focusing on embracing the PRESENT moment as opposed to obsessing over the future and/or in certain situations, dwelling on a failed past which will also hinder someone from the long term relationship that they are looking for.

It is human nature to strive for instant gratification but it is much more rewarding to not only trust the process but to enjoy the process as you are experiencing it! Rather than rush into a serious relationship the moment you find a man that you like or question if you are going to be a part of his future, it is much wiser to enjoy getting to know the man on every level and to determine if there is a MUTUAL CONNECTION first and foremost. If there is a genuine connection where you both feel the same way about each other, the sky is the limit when it comes to how bright your futures will be together. There will be zero uncertainty, you won’t be left feeling uneasy and having to question his every move, and everything will just flow naturally in the right direction.

There is no need to force relationships upon men or to get overly emotional over anyone that is not deserving of your love. This is why you also need to pace the relationship and let the man earn your affections. The question should not be, “Does he see me in his future?” It should actually be along the lines of, “Is this man worthy enough to be a part of my future?” There is a huge difference between those two questions. The first one comes from a weak mindset where the underlying question is, “Am I good enough?” whereas the other question is from a strong minded female essentially asking, “Is he good enough for me?” Women of high value already know what they bring to the table and already know that they are good enough. They also are not willing to settle on just any man who walks into their lives and take the proper time that is needed to examine them from the inside out to make sure that they are qualified enough to stay in their future. As a woman, it is important to always stay true to the core of your values, know your worth (the right man will know it from the get go and want to invest in you from the start, trust me), and to NEVER settle on a man just for the sake of having one. Although life is short, there is no need to rush your relationships because what is meant to be–will BE! If you are casually dating, take your time in getting to know people and do not overly invest in one person until you both establish that you are on the same page. If you are currently single, in the meantime, relax and just continue to enjoy that fabulous life of yours. If someone is worthy enough to join you, that’s great but if not, your life is still fabulous no matter what! 😉

Why Practicing Generosity Matters In This World

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When I think about some of the most desirable traits to possess, one of the first things that always comes to mind is generosity or simply the act of being generous. When I use the word “generous,” I do not want anyone to interpret that to solely mean someone who gives an exorbitant amount of money to charity or someone who has the money to buy lavish gifts on a regular basis. While the act of generosity is often associated with money, practicing it can be done so on a regular basis and in very small ways that still can make a lasting impact on others. It does not need to be a grand gesture at all times and even the smallest of gestures can still be rather significant.

Being that this is something that I highly value, in the back of my mind, I try to proactively make this a habit. When you are generous towards other people, you are not only showing your appreciation but also making the other person feel good inside which ultimately makes you feel good in return. It is a win win situation in my book because it not only uplifts the other person but it can fulfill your soul with positivity. It is for this reason that I associate generosity with good karma. Do you want to attract good karma in your life? Then consider finding ways in which you can practice generosity. I also find that when people are generous towards me, it promotes me to want to reciprocate and be extra generous in return. While some people will take advantage and take from people who like to give, it is good to be cautious of people with these behaviors because people with a “taker” mentality tend to never change. However, sometimes people can learn from other people who give and slowly develop it into a habit as well.

From a spiritual standpoint, I truly believe that in order to attract more abundance, generous gestures and the act of giving are essential because there is so much to go around in the Universe–one should never have to worry that there will be a shortage of anything. If you are constantly holding back and taking from others as opposed to giving, this comes from a scarcity mindset that there are not enough resources. It is always far more superior to give more than you take because we live in an abundant world with lots to go around for everyone. Aside from money, time is also a spiritual gift that you can choose to give to someone generously. So if you genuinely feel that your financial resources are tight at the moment, remember that there are plenty of other ways to be generous that do not have a monetary value. All that matters is that you are making the effort to practice generosity because oftentimes, it will not go unnoticed and you could be making a positive difference in someone else’s life–especially someone who is less fortunate than you are.

How to Avoid Toxic Relationships in Its Entirety

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In the dating world, while most people opt for relationships that are full of happiness and bliss, the reality is that sometimes relationships are far from healthy and end up becoming extremely toxic. What is a toxic relationship? I would describe a toxic relationship as one that is emotionally draining and consistently problematic. It is normal that couples will argue from time to time but when it happens the majority of the time and the relationship brings more negativity than positivity, I would say that this would be labeled as a toxic relationship. It is easy to fall into a toxic relationship without even realizing it and to keep continuing it for the sake of saving it. However, honestly–these relationships are NOT worth saving and should be avoided at all costs. The real question is, how?

It is important to be consciously aware of when a relationship is taking a turn for the worst or when you start picking up on a series of red flags. As soon as you notice bad behavior or any sign of disrespect, this is your exit ticket to not just walk but to RUN–aka terminate the relationship immediately. The reason it is important to do this as soon as possible is to prevent yourself from developing any deep attachment or strong feelings for the other person and vice versa. If very little time was invested, it is much easier for both people to move on as opposed to walking away from a relationship that lasted for many years. By terminating the relationship, I also want to make it clear that this also means NO CONTACT. I understand for some, that this can be an extremely difficult process because it is reasonable to want to connect and see how someone that you once cared about is doing or to perhaps maintain some sort of friendship. Listen, I get that up to a point. However, let me ask you this–why would you proactively choose to keep someone toxic in your life still? Does toxicity provide any spiritual value in your life or anyone’s life for that matter? I surely hope the answer is NO because that is the correct answer. As soon as you determine at the early stages of the relationship that it has the potential to become toxic, do not hesitate to end it altogether. You are doing everyone a favor by creating the space that is needed for both people to move on and to pursue a better future for themselves without the other person.

Now if you were in a long term relationship with someone for many years and it was rather good in the beginning but then a series of events allowed for the relationship to become toxic over time, I strongly believe that ending the relationship is still your best case scenario. Do not forget that you are always in control of your future and that if you genuinely want to create a brighter one that it is up to YOU to do that–and no one else’s. Things might have been great in the past but if your current partner is causing any added stress, grief, aggravation, and/or other negative impact onto your life, you need to recognize that this is NOT the person for you anymore and that it is time to move on. You not only deserve better but there is a much more suitable match out there for you if you are receptive to that train of thought. As sad as it might feel to give up on a relationship that once brought you joy, it is okay to do so and a far more superior decision in the long run–even if you do not feel or think that way at the present moment. Sometimes you have to close a door in order for the right door to open with a better opportunity. Remember that this spiritual concept applies to most things in life including your personal relationships.

Manifesting Abundance – The Possibilities Are Endless When You Want Them

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It is important to live your life with what I call an abundance mindset. It is obvious to me when people live this way versus people who do not apply this way of thinking. When I say abundance, I am not referring to manifesting strictly money and/or material goods although at times that can apply like manifesting a dream house or car; however, I meant it from a spiritual point of view. It really comes down to two very valuable trains of thought.

For one, you need to recognize that we live in a world with unlimited possibilities and opportunities. There is no need to really be in competition with anyone because there is so much to go around and this applies to everything in life! This goes for jobs, relationships, housing, etc. (On a side note, in regards to housing, many areas are facing housing shortages which is driving the housing market to great heights but generally speaking, if you really look and you can be patient, then you will be able to manifest what you want when the time is right). My point is, the Universe is already filled with abundance so there is no need to ever be discouraged when you do not get something that you want at the time or ever feel that there is a shortage of anything.

Oftentimes in order for your greatest desires to be fulfilled and manifested, you need to have a driving force from within to want to obtain them. It is important to know that the opportunities exist as I mentioned previously but you need to also have that burning desire to go out and chase after what you want. I think that golden combo of knowing that there are unlimited possibilities out there paired with wanting to go out there to get them will ensure that you are able to up your manifesting abilities and also increase abundance within your life.

Why Having Substance Is Your Greatest Asset and How to Possess More of It

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People focus much of their attention on appearances and by that, I do not just mean their outward appearance such as their physical looks but also how they appear to other people. We live in a society that very much judges others based on what is seen on the exterior. I understand that it is for this reason why people put such a huge emphasis on how they come across and are seen by others in real life and on social media. However, people should really put more of their attention towards building up their substance as individuals and who they are in the inside and not just the outside.

This is why you often hear, “don’t judge a book by its cover” because there is definitely validity behind this common adage. I can think of a handful of times where I misjudged people based on appearances and I was totally wrong about the person. I am sure everyone has experienced this before for the good or for the bad. This goes with attraction too where someone might not be as physically attractive in your eyes but because the person has substance and truly is beautiful in the inside, this makes the person an attractive one despite the exterior. In contrast, you might meet someone who you find to be incredibly good looking but because there is a lack of substance and/or chemistry, you do not view the person as attractive anymore. It is kind of like an optical illusion where what you see is not what you get which is why looks really are not everything!

Substance is an asset that often is never mentioned but holds so much value and in some, is never really fully developed. The good news is that there are ways to build up substance and to make this a focal point in your self development. I believe the best way to do this is to cultivate your passions and interests on an authentic level. In other words, do not go through the motions of doing things for the sake of it or because you see everyone doing something on social media. You need to figure out what brings you joy and what are the things that you most naturally gravitate towards most. Everyone is born with their own unique set of talents, interests, strengths, and abilities. It is your job to determine what they are and to expand on them. This will not only bring you genuine happiness in life but oftentimes it will fulfill a purpose by providing meaning and substance to the core of your soul. Substance is what carries you in life and serves as a helpful tool to attract the right opportunities and people into your Universe which is why it is a necessity to possess a good amount of it.

J.Lo’s Second Engagement to Ben Affleck – Can Love Be Rekindled Much Later in Life?

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Not to get too caught up with celebrity news; however, headlines recently broke out that J.Lo announced her (second) engagement to Ben Affleck, just a few days ago. If people remember back in the early 2000’s when they were referred to as “bennifer” along with them being previously engaged. Unfortunately, their engagement and relationship ultimately ended and they both went on with their lives to marry different people and have families of their own. Even though they were initially together about 20 years ago, I actually remember quite vividly their romance and that they were consistently in the public eye to be seen as one of Hollywood’s biggest celebrity couples at the time. So when they called it quits, I know many people were shocked–myself included.

Fast forward to the present day and it appears that they have picked up from where they have left off and plan to create a future together which now includes marriage. Although I have mixed feelings regarding this, it makes you wonder, can love be rekindled much later in life? For example, I have heard scenarios of high school sweethearts who went their separate ways only to reconnect much later in life after a failed marriage or simply after an extended time away from each other. Can this happen and is it possible for love to be successful the second time around? Although in most circumstances, I would have to say that it is very unlikely and that the chances are slim to none, as the saying goes, “never say never.” In other words, there are those rare instances where two people might not have been ready to be together but after a substantial amount of time has gone by, both people are ready to make it work for the long haul. It can take a series of life experiences to occur first before two people are ready to make it more serious. In addition, it is possible after a lot of time has gone by, that it had left room for one or both people to miss what they initially had because the grass is not always greener on the other side. It is hard to pinpoint exactly what would cause two people to get back together because it is situational but I have seen that this happens every so often and sometimes the couple is stronger than ever after being away from each other for so long.

While it is easy for me to judge on the outside negatively and say that this is unlikely to work out if it did not work out the first time, as I just mentioned, when it comes to love and most things in life–anything is possible. Although the past very much shapes the future, life can take many turns along the way and in certain cases that might mean opening a door that was once closed. Remember that your destiny is always evolving and your instincts will help guide you along the way. If that means rekindling a past love, so be it and just go with it because what is meant to be will be! ❤

Dating Advice That No One Wants to Hear but It’s True

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I have been trying to think of a good list of dating advice that can literally apply to anyone and everyone. I thought of a short list of dating principles that I recognize might be common sense but dating advice that people don’t always follow in which it is important to share it. I really strive to help people make the very best choices in their personal lives so hopefully these tips are helpful! ❤

Not Everyone Is Going to Like You – Accept It and Move On – This is definitely one of the biggest reality checks that many people fail to follow and understand. It is very common to like someone who does not have the same feelings in return. The best thing to do is to move on and find an equal match where there is a mutual attraction on both ends. However, unfortunately people still stick around in hopes that the other person will start to develop feelings over time or they simply invest way too much of their time, resources, and both their emotional and physical energy into this person when the signs were clear from the start that nothing meaningful was ever going to transpire. I know for many, this can be a tough situation to deal with and can easily bruise the ego. There good thing is, there are literally billions of people in this world and I can assure you that you can actually find someone who values you just as much as you value them in return. So stop wasting your time on the people who don’t like you and find someone who not only likes you but adores you! (Again, with so many people who exist in this Universe, I am pretty sure that this person exists–trust me on this one)! 😉

Don’t Be So Outcome Dependent – Especially When You First Meet Someone – People tend to have way too many expectations when they are out in the dating world and as a result, end up terribly disappointed. Now I am not saying to not have high standards because of course you should set the bar high when you are looking for a life partner. What I am referring to are relationship expectations and imposing a dating agenda when you do not even know the person all too well or perhaps just met them. For example, women tend to discuss wanting a marriage and children after the first date or just a few dates. There is nothing wrong with wanting to manifest these specific things but to mention this to someone without establishing a deep connection first is incredibly premature and unnecessary. The same goes with men who go on dates and they might have a set number of dates in their minds that they are willing to go on before the woman is intimate with them. This again is the wrong approach. It is way better to have a go with the flow mentality and see where things go as opposed to assigning this dating agenda because every dating scenario is situational and you might not even like the person all too much to begin with. That is why it is important to take the time that is needed to build that spiritual connection first and establish that you both want a relationship before expecting intimacy, marriage, etc. You have to let things happen as it is supposed to play out and be patient with the process knowing that the outcome you are looking for is on its way. This is why there is no need to rush it or impose it on anyone because you will meet the right person when you are destined to do so!

Learn to Love Your Life With or Without Someone – I find that there are a lot of people in this world who can’t handle being single and literally are not happy unless they are in a relationship. To me, the underlying issue with this is that these are people who feel empty inside because they do not love their life and/or feel good enough so they rely on others to provide them with love, happiness, and validation in order to feel good about self. Think about it, if someone is happy with their own life, they can navigate and enjoy it without the help of others. This is a very good place to be in because this means that you can function independently and if you happen to meet someone whom you choose to develop a serious relationship with, it is an added bonus to your life but not a necessity because you already love your life!