Category Archives: Self

Reflecting on Pandemic Life – 2 Years Ago From Today and Moving Forward

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I don’t think many people would have ever predicted that they would be living through a pandemic within their lifetime. I know for me personally, it was something that never crossed my mind and now it is a life experience that we can all agree is unforgettable and one that we will remember looking back on for years to come. When I reflect about where I was exactly two years ago on March 15th, 2020–it is a day that I can reflect upon quite vividly. I was on an airplane flying from Arizona back to New Jersey. No one was really wearing masks yet and I was not so concerned about catching the virus but was more nervous about whether I would be able to fly back safely without being in a situation where we would have to be quarantined. Covid-19 was labeled a global pandemic just a few days prior and everything was beginning to shut down. I remember thinking to myself on that plane ride that I cannot get back home to New Jersey fast enough. A few days before my flight, people were encouraging me to cancel my trip altogether but I knew then that it was now or never. I am glad that I followed my instincts because I have not been on an airplane since that date and things progressively had gotten worse as time went on.

In addition to my flight home, I also had a wake to attend later that same afternoon. Everything was normal at that time as a normal wake would be but if it had occurred even a week or two later, I do not know if there would have been a public wake service at all because there was a point where wake and funeral services had to be put on hold or just not occur at all.

Although I had arrived back home safely on March 15th, just two days later on March 17th was when everything had officially shut down in the USA which meant schools, gyms, restaurants, and so much more. It is crazy to think back at that time where everyone was asked to quarantine and stay at home for so many months. It felt like there was a pause button placed on our lives yet we were witnessing on the news day in and day out how many people were suffering throughout the entire world. It was a time of such uncertainty in our lives and impacted every single individual one way or another.

Fast forwarding a full two years to where we are now on March 15th, 2022, I would say that although the pandemic is not officially over, we are finally at a good place where cases are going down and it appears that the virus has become much milder since the initial variant. It is the first time in a really long time that I feel as though we are moving towards a more “normal” life again although it might take many years to ever live a life that was close to our pre-pandemic lives. While the pandemic brought upon us many challenges and misfortunes, I do believe with that comes many life lessons. It was also a time to appreciate some of the simplest joys and to embrace those moments of solitude which might have made people feel lonely at times (myself included). As the pandemic begins to fade away, I look forward to seeing the people that I haven’t seen in a long time and I cannot wait to travel again, even if that means domestically at the present moment. Little by little, things are bound to get better again and we just have to keep looking forward with a positive state of mind.

Is It Okay to Date Multiple People at the Same Time?

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When people are dating, it is possible to be in situations where you are dating more than one person at the same time. If you are not in a committed relationship, you have more dating opportunities along with more freedom in terms of your dating choices. Sometimes it is good to casually date different people to get a better sense of what you are looking for when you are ready to find a serious relationship or life partner; however, the majority of the time, I would not suggest dating multiple people at the same time.

For one, it is possible to form emotional attachments to more than one person if you are setting yourself up in a position to do so. If you only focused your time and energy into getting to know one person, then you do not run the risk of liking a few people at the same time. While that might not seem like a big deal, it can become problematic because you have to remember that these same people are also forming emotional attachments towards you and it is not fair to lead someone on if your intent is to spend time with more than one person. It is possible that they are doing the same thing as you are where they are dating a few people at once but unless you have that open conversation with someone, you never truly know for sure and one can always choose to conceal this information if they are a private and/or dishonest individual.

Aside from other people developing feelings for you, remember that it can go both ways where you can start to like more than one person. The issue with this is that when you are left with a few options, eventually you are going to have to make a choice and it is not sustainable to live your life dating multiple people simultaneously. It can create a high level of cognitive dissonance and internal conflicts because it does not feel right inside to develop feelings for more than one person at a time. From a moral standpoint, you might recognize that this is wrong and that this lifestyle cannot carry on forever. It is important to do the right thing by being open and honest with everyone who you are involved with. This will sometimes give you better clarity as to whether or not these relationships are temporary or have the potential to lead to something more serious in the future.

At the end of the day, it is your personal choice if you decide to date multiple people at the same time; however, always keep in mind how your actions can affect others including yourself. In order to prevent potential problems down the road, it is important to be transparent and make sure that people are aware of the situation and are accepting of it before moving forward. This is the best way to prevent misleading someone or hurting another person’s feelings. It is necessary that people are on the same page at all times which is why proceeding with honesty and caution is always the right approach within any dating scenario.

Happy International Women’s Day

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Today is March 8th which happens to be International Women’s Day. I was not too familiar with this being an actual day for women to acknowledge but I have received some emails today in regards to it. What does International Women’s Day mean to me?

As much as we try to make both genders as equal as possible, I don’t think that it is realistic for everything to be equal at all times, especially depending on what part of the world you live in where women’s rights and freedoms are still limited. However, it is important to note that as women, we have come a very long way and have progressed significantly in terms of things that we can do that were not opportunities given to us previously such as getting an education, pursing a career, voting, and so much more. It is empowering growing up at a time where I feel that as a woman, I can accomplish many great things in my lifetime. I also do not feel I am in a position where I have to rely on a man to have the things that I want and that I am capable of earning things myself while also being an equal contributing partner within a marriage.

Today and everyday, let’s continue to celebrate women and all the amazing strides and accomplishments that we have made so far. At the same time, I also believe that we are ALL capable of doing anything that we put our minds to. Remember that the sky’s the limit and to always shoot for the moon! 😉

Why Delayed Gratification is More Gratifying

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We live in a society that thrives on instant gratification. People tend to want immediate results and everything to be an easy process. For example, if someone is looking to get in a shape, even though one knows that consistently putting in the time to work out effectively and cleaning up their diet would give them those results over time, this person might give up pretty easily on getting fit because it is not an overnight process. What people need to realize is that most big successes or anything that is worth having do very well take a good amount of time. It can take months, years, or perhaps decades! It is crucial to always stay focused on the end goal and to put in the work that is needed day by day. Even if that means that you have to go through long periods of time not seeing results, that is not a reason to give up on what you want. This might even be a time to reflect on a new approach, to work a little harder, or maybe take a short break if it is needed to prevent burnout–which is totally okay.

Although delayed gratification might not feel as enjoyable as receiving something instantly, you actually hold a higher value on something that you have to work harder towards. I always like to point out that is often why people perceive expensive items as higher value because it takes up more time to save up to purchase these goods. Whether or not the quality is actually worth its price is up to the individual to determine but people tend to gravitate towards desiring the things that are more out of their reach as opposed to something that was given to them or was easier to obtain. It can be an incredibly rewarding feeling once you finally receive something that you desired most and that you had to work hard towards which is why it is actually more gratifying than instant gratification because you earned it yourself.

Although the process might feel like a never ending one, delayed gratification is not a bad thing because it adds many positive attributes to one’s character such as patience, motivation, and discipline while also building one’s work ethic. If someone was to receive everything that they wanted very easily without any effort, this person would never feel challenged in life and probably would remain a very lazy individual. It is for this reason that it is also good to set the bar high and want to strive for bigger and better things. People should always find ways to challenge themselves for the greater good of their self development and for a brighter future. Everything is within reach, no matter how long it takes to get there. Don’t forget to enjoy the journey as you are experiencing it and remember that all your efforts are worth it to achieve and receive everything that you want to manifest most in your lifetime.

Changing Others – Is It Worth a Try or Are You Wasting Your Time?

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It is very common to see people try to change others, whether it be a significant other, a family member, or friend. The truth of the matter is, the person is never going to change if they do not want to change. Sometimes people might go through the motions of trying to change to make the other person happy but usually those changes are temporary and are not authentic to the individual which is why the changes are not permanent. It is for this reason why I do not believe that you can change others but at the very least, you can positively impact others as an alternative. By that, I mean that you can try to be a good influence on someone and over time, the other person might be motivated to change–for themselves and not because you pressured them to.

I find the best way to influence others is to practice what you preach and to lead by example. If you have good habits, it is natural for the other person to want to emulate you which is a good thing. It could take time and as I mentioned, it is ultimately up to the other person to want to change at the end of the day. It is important to understand that even with your very best efforts to promote change and your unlimited support, the other person might never change. If this is the reality, then it is up to you to accept the person as is or depending on the situation, it might be best to reject the person altogether–as harsh as that sounds.

If you find that the other person has qualities that you desperately want to change and these changes are simply not feasible, it is okay to remove this person from your life. I say that because it is not worth spending time with someone who has many qualities that you find undesirable. As they say, “birds of a feather flock together” which is why it is best to surround yourself around others who are like minded like yourself in which you would not find a need to change the other person to begin with.

Why You Need to Approach Dating With Self Love and Confidence

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I can tell a lot about a person’s self confidence level based on their dating choices. When someone tells me that they are with someone who neglects, cheats, and/or shares with me instances of any other extreme form of disrespect–this illustrates to me that this person does not have enough self love or thinks very highly of self. Why? When people possess a high level of self confidence and loves self, then you will find that they are not in these unhealthy relationships or bad situations to begin with. They are able to put themselves FIRST and foremost before their significant other with ease and will opt to find their very best match as opposed to dating someone who doesn’t meet their standards. They also do not have a tolerance for bad behavior or any signs of mistreatment and are ready to walk away altogether whenever they see any reoccurring red flag in a relationship.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are unhappy with your partner, it is important to dig deep and determine the reasons why you feel that way while also taking the time to look from within and examine your own level of self love. If you feel down about yourself, it might not be the best time in your life to be in a relationship. The reason being that you need to love self and be your best self before pursuing dating on a serious level. If you can work on yourself, not only are you benefiting your very best asset (that’s you) but you are also setting yourself up for attracting a desirable partner whom you can offer your best while also receiving the best in return. It is a win/win situation on both sides and the foundation of a fulfilling and rewarding relationship when you have two people who equally feel confident about themselves along with the overall success of their relationship.

How to Handle Rejection in a Healthy Way

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What people need to realize is that rejection is a part of life and that it does not have to be as horrible as you perceive it to be if you know how to react, cope, and become a stronger individual from it. Many people feel defeated by rejection and some even suffer from a bruised ego for a long period of time. What if I told you that rejection can be a GOOD thing and that you can become a better person from experiencing it?

First and foremost, the first thing you need to realize is that you are going to be okay after being faced with rejection. You might temporarily feel bad about yourself or the situation at hand but that feeling will go away over time. If you tell yourself that it was not meant to be at this stage of your life and that a better opportunity will come your way, you will be much more motivated to find it and to feel good again! This is the right mindset to possess because it shows that you are accepting of the outcome and know that rejection is not the end of the world because there are much more opportunities out there just waiting to be taken.

This leads me to my next point that it is extremely important to realize that for every door that closes, there are plenty of doors that are ready to be opened. Meaning that you cannot feel upset over a single rejection or perhaps a series of them because the Universe is full of abundance all around you and it is up to you to go out there and explore what opportunities await you. Even if there have been a series of rejections along the way up to this point in your life, there are an unlimited amount of opportunities that are on the horizon in your life’s path in which you will not be rejected. Remember that you are destined to receive everything that you want and more as long as you do not give up and you put yourself out there. If you choose to do nothing and let rejection get the best of you, then that’s on you. The Universe has a lot to give but you need to put in a high level of energy and effort in order to receive.

If you get rejected from a job, relationship, college, or something that holds meaning to you such as a sport or other hobby, take this as an opportunity to ask yourself, “How can I do better moving forward? What can I do to make self improvements?” This is not only beneficial in heightening your own self development but it is also a crucial step in elevating your future. Think about it, if you get rejected from making a sports team, the question to the coach should be, “What can I do to improve my skill set and be a better player?” This should not be a time to feel bad about yourself–it is the time to feel motivated to be the best that you can be and actually take the time that is needed to improve. If people never got rejected, there would be no room for improvement. It is for this reason that you should look at rejection as a golden opportunity for change and not as an attack against your personal character.

Being Single Doesn’t Have to Be a Negative Thing – 3 Benefits to Shift Your Mindset That It Can Be Positive

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While many people choose to be in a relationship or prefer to have a partner, it is natural to go through phases in life where you are single for long periods of time or you might have recently gotten out of a relationship. Some people feel bad about a failed relationship and/or might possess a deep feeling of loneliness from their single status. However, this does not have to be the case and no one should feel lesser of a person because of it. It is possible to be single and not be bothered by it–heck, there are even those who are happily single and choose to live this way. While that might seem like an oxymoron to some, it can actually be a positive thing to be single. How does one feel good about being single and what are the benefits?

Do What You Want on Your Terms – It is liberating to be able to do what you want and not have limitations. When you are in a relationship, sometimes you are not able to do what you want and you might find that you do not have as much free time as you use to have. Typically, you also have to check in with your partner before doing something whereas when you are single, you are a free agent.

Focus on Self Development – Although you should always be working on self development whether or not you are in a relationship, it is definitely easier to focus on yourself when you are by yourself. Again, it comes down to having more personal time which you can utilize to better yourself. This is also to your benefit because when you are at your best, this elevates your confidence while building your attraction level which ultimately will increase the likelihood of finding an equally high quality match when you are ready to.

Spent More Quality Time With Friends/Family – I find that many people who are in a relationship do not make time for their friends and family as they used to previously. While some people are good at finding that balance, many end up spending more time with their significant other and abandoning their friends and family. When you are single, this gives you the opportunity to still make quality time for other people other than the person you are with.

Final Note – It is natural for people to want to be in a relationship but remember that it is totally acceptable to be single too. It is way better to be single than to be in a relationship for the sake of it or to settle on a relationship that does not suit your best interests. Too often I see people stay in bad relationships because of this underlying need of being with someone (aka anyone) and out of the fear of loneliness. You are far more superior than that so stop settling! It is always best to stay single and wait for the right person to come into your life than to stay in an invaluable relationship.

How to Love Your Self Image – 3 Things You Can Do to Love Yourself the Way You Are

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It is natural to care about your looks and your outward appearance. I think this can be a good thing as long as you also possess a healthy mindset to match your positive self image. Unfortunately, there are many people who have a negative perception of self which would allow for them to go through extreme measures to “look good.” For example, both women and men get fixated on certain things that might not be within their control such as their height, facial features, and body composition. Personally, it is mind blowing to me that people would want to get surgeries to totally change their face or change parts of their body that take away from their natural born identity. I am not saying that to put down anyone who has made that choice because to each their own and whatever makes someone feel happy about self; however, the majority of the time, I just do not think it is necessary. Think about it, no one should feel the need to take a drastic approach in altering themselves physically–especially if it is unsafe and can cause potential health risks down the line in order to look and feel good. So what can be done to love your self image that won’t require a major transformation?

Focus on Your Best Features – It is very easy for people to focus on what they lack but it is most important to shift that focus onto what one already does have. I believe everyone has attractive attributes and what you perceive as unattractive can actually be a complete turn on to someone else. Rather than comparing self to others and trying to fit into a mold of what society’s definition of “beauty” is, it is best to work with what you were born with and to maximize what you already have. Trust me, EVERYONE has something attractive about themselves if they choose to recognize it and fixate on it rather than thinking about what they do not like or what they think is “missing.”

Develop Your Own Unique Sense of Style – You do not need to be the most naturally good looking person in the world to have a great sense of style. This is also something that can change and evolve over time. Areas of style can include your choice of clothing, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry, accessories, etc. Everyone has the potential to be stylish or at the very least develop a style that works for you and enhances your best features. While it is helpful to keep an eye out on the latest trends, remember that trends come and go so it is better to determine your very own individual style that is true to yourself.

Work on Building Self Love From the Inside Out – It is important to realize that looks are not everything. Having a beautiful exterior does not mean much if a person has low self esteem and has an endless amount of internal issues. Sometimes the most generically attractive people in the world have the most problems and feel the worst about themselves. This leads me to my final point that it is essential to always be working on self development and to find ways to increase confidence on the inside as opposed to just putting all your energy into feeling good on the outside. When you genuinely feel great about yourself, it truly does radiate from the inside out which should always be the end goal.

Living Your Best Life – Every Decision Determines Your Destiny

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Life is filled with many opportunities and it is up to you to make the right life decisions in order to live your very best life. People tend to think that we don’t have much control of our lives and that we have to settle for undesirable outcomes. No one needs to settle for anything! Remember, we all have one life to live. Why not make it an amazing one? That is why it is helpful to do a little bit of spiritual homework on your end and take the time to actually determine what that means to you. This is why vision boards or Universe journals are helpful tools in guiding you to illustrate what you want your future to look like. Even though this works for me and I always advise others to do the same, if you choose not to–the good news is that you can still proactively make the right choices and live a very good life.

I often times think about how it might take a series of good decisions to get to where you want to be. This is all part of the process and this is why it important to really think things through as opposed to making hasty or impulsive decisions. The start of each day brings upon a new beginning and gives you the opportunity to start fresh. Your destiny might not be heavily impacted by a single day but more so over a series of events or a longer period of time. It is refreshing to know that you are the creator of your destiny and that it is always in motion as long as you take action and focus on what you want most in your future.

Every so often, you will find that you did not make a great choice and you might feel set back in certain ways. This is totally normal and is to be expected because life is not designed to be perfect. It is how you learn from your mistakes and decide to change the course of your life that will put you back on the right track again. I do believe that sometimes it is necessary to go through bad things in order to get to the greater good. Remember that it is never too late to shift your life into a more positive direction and that you have the capacity to live your best life–one great decision at a time.