Category Archives: Attraction

Happy Thanksgiving With a Motivational Message : “Say Thank You In Advance for What Is Already Yours”

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I know I have shared in the past, Denzel Washington’s “Fall Forward” speech which if you haven’t listened to it before, you should absolutely look it up if you need a little spiritual pick me up or you need a dose of motivation in your life.I just happened to discover another great message of his: “Say thank you in advance for what is already yours.” I couldn’t agree more with this statement! I am all for practicing gratitude on a daily basis because gratitude attracts even more abundance and happiness into your life. However, this message is even more empowering as it encourages you to not only be thankful for what you currently have but to also be thankful for the things that you are currently manifesting into your life–which are destined in your near future.

This Thanksgiving as we practice gratitude towards our loved ones and for all the things we are most thankful for–don’t forget to be thankful for what is already yours! 😉

Why Silience Always Builds Attraction and How to Apply It to Social Media

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People who have the least amount to say, often have the most power in a situation and tend to build attraction naturally. While it might seem counterintuitive, it makes sense because when someone remains silent or does not have a lot to say, this creates an aura of mystique where you are questioning what this person is thinking. If you sent a message to someone and this person did not respond, you are going to be left wondering: Why did this person not reply? What is this person doing? Was it something I said? It is for this reason that it is often good to pace your communication, especially if it is with a new love interest. Being silent or taking longer to reply will often work to your advantage. It will keep their mind fixated on you as opposed to giving the person too much attention where there is no room in their mind to miss you. There are many people who are impulsive and who are always striving for instant gratification which means being in constant contact with someone. I never recommend this approach because this can burn out the relationship very quickly in most scenarios. It is much wiser to practice patience and to take your time when communicating with someone new.

On social media, you will see there are people who post content daily. While for some it might be needed for their careers, for many others– they choose to share the personal details of their lives regularly which is typically a sign that they are starving for attention and validation from the outside world. Sadly, this is not the way to gain attraction. I would advise to be selective as to what you choose to share and to share your personal content more sparingly. When I see a person post too often, I usually find it very cringy–especially if the person is using their social media platform to try to show off or brag in some way. That is why it is always way more attractive when a person is unpredictable and you cannot predict their next move or know what they are up to. If you are someone who likes to post all the time, take some breaks and refrain from posting. You will notice that people will be much more interested in what you have to say because you are doing it less often. Remember that when something is rare and more out of reach, it becomes more intriguing. That is why your personal life should not be so easily accessible to the masses and that you should be extra selective as to what you want to share with your audience.

The Best Time to Find Love In Your Life

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Love is a mystical human experience that connects two souls together. For some people, they might find love very early in life–perhaps in their teenage years and they manage to marry their high school sweethearts and live happily ever after. Maybe for someone else, it could take a second marriage before finding their true soulmate. It is important to understand that every single individual is on their own unique path in finding love. It can come easier for some more than others but there should not be a deadline in your mind as to when you find this person. The reason being is that you can easily make a wrong decision and end up settling for someone who wasn’t “the one.” You have to remember that every dating experience was just a part of the journey into leading you to finding your soulmate. So never be discouraged if you go through long periods without a partner or through horrible breakups along the way. This collection of experiences will ultimately lead you to the greater good of finding true love if that is something that you want to manifest in your life. The best time to find love as I mentioned will vary from person to person since everyone is carving out their own unique path but there are a few basic principles you can follow that will allow you to get to your end goal.

When You are In Love With YOURSELF – As basic as this may sound, it truly is essential for you to love yourself first above anything else. If you don’t love yourself, how do you expect someone to love you? You also cannot expect to seek validation from others in order to build more love for yourself because it truly needs to come from WITHIN. You need to find ways to accept and love yourself for both the good and the bad with a focus on all the GOOD things that you have to offer to the world.

When You are Not Really Looking – I know this can sound counterintuitive to many but it is amazing how love can find ways to find you when you are not proactively looking. The reason for this is that when you are too hungry for love, it can actually have the opposite effect and put into the Universe a needy vibration which naturally repels most people. When you are too desperate, you are thinking from a scarcity mindset where you need to cling onto any person who comes your way with the fear that you will not find anyone else. No one wants to feel that their significant other cannot function without them because this shows the person is too dependent on the person and on the relationship which is never healthy.

When Your Life Is Fabulous (With or Without Someone) – When you are living your very best life, you are giving the right vibrations into the Universe to attract love into your life. You are doing it naturally without any forced effort. This could mean that you are pursuing your passions, furthering your education, striving in your career, and/or surrounded by an amazing social circle of friends and family who adore you. People want to be with someone who is not only in a great place in their own lives but that will bring their lives UP–not down. If you are a broke bum living in your friend’s basement with a negative attitude about life and can’t get your $%^& together–no offense but why would someone naturally be interested in starting a relationship with you? You need to be very conscientious of your life decisions and create a clear path of intrinsic happiness. From there, you will notice that you will start attracting higher quality people into your life including potentially attracting your soulmate.

How to Get Your Mind Off of Someone

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It is very easy to get your mind hung up on an ex or someone who you like very much. The good news is that there are definitely ways to overcome this and to get your mind fixated on other things. I recognize that it is very easy on the surface to apply these techniques but to still feel like they are not working effectively. However, over time you will see that they will begin to work. It really is all a matter of shifting your mindset and training your brain. You can’t expect instant gratification where you can forget about someone simply after reading this blog or after a short amount of time. The truth of the matter is, it could actually take a lot of time to get over someone–and that’s okay. All that matters is that you get the recovery process started…

Keep Your Life Busy – The more free time you have, you’ll find that you’ll spend that time thinking about someone because you have nothing else better to do. While having free time is often seen as a good thing, it can actually serve as a very negative thing if you are not living your life to the fullest or to your greatest potential. It can be extremely detrimental to your self development, create laziness, hinder motivation, and prevent yourself from stepping out of your comfort zone. Instead of sitting around at home, occupy your time with more work, think about a new career path, pursue some hobbies, go back to school, or consider booking a vacation to get out of your house. Everyone can use a change of scenery every so often. Regardless of how you choose to allocate your time (as that is up to you)–remember it is better to have a fully booked schedule than to have too much open space on your hands.

Learn How to Make Yourself Happy – So many people rely their happiness on the happiness they receive from other people. Unfortunately, this is far from a happy mentality. A happy mentality stems from having the capacity of knowing how to make yourself happy–with or without someone. If you know how to master this life skill, chances are you will never find yourself in a position where you are seeking validation from others or finding yourself over focused on someone where you cannot get over them. The reason being is that when you learn how to create your own inner happiness, you know how to be happy without someone else and you are at inner peace with yourself during moments of solitude.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind Means No Contact – This might seem pretty obvious but it is worth stating that one of the best ways to truly get over someone is to eliminate all forms of contact with this person. If you are already at this stage, then kudos to you. If you are still in communication, then this is a good time to cut off all forms of communication or at the very least, find ways to limit them. Yes, this also means removing or blocking this person from your social media or maybe deactivating your own social media. This way, there is zero temptation to click on their stories to see what they are up to or to look at their photographs. If this person chooses to contact you–remember that you are not obligated to respond and can still continue to practice no contact. This also gives you the opportunity to fully detach yourself from this person which is the end goal.

Make the Time to See Your Friends and Family – If you are more introverted by nature, this might be a hard thing to do but it is definitely beneficial to make quality time for your closest friends and family. If they live far away, then consider making the time to talk to them on the phone or through a chat. It is important to surround yourself with the people who you care about most and surrounding yourself with good energy. This will distract your mind from thinking about someone else. They can also serve as emotional support if you are going through a difficult breakup or just need someone to talk to who will listen to you.

Set New Goals and Continue to Better Yourself – Regardless of your current life situation, this should ALWAYS be a top priority in your life. You need to constantly be thinking of new ways to improve yourself and to set goals that you are actually excited about achieving. If you live your life without putting mindful intentions into the Universe, you will be left feeling very empty inside and have nothing to look forward to in life. This negative scarcity energy will sadly continue to bring your life down by allowing you to think about someone who chances are–is not thinking about you in return. It’s a sad reality but it’s the truth. Why invest your energy into someone who does not value you? You are way better off utilizing this energy by investing it into your goals and your self development.

You Don’t Need Beauty, Brains, or Money – What You Need MOST in a Relationship

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Now I know the title might seem a bit extreme but I am sure that it did catch your attention (which was the whole point). 😉 I want to start off by saying that when you are searching for a life partner, there are going to be tons of qualities that you are looking for and that every individual’s criteria is going to vary. Most people are going to have some of the same general things while others will have very specific attributes that are important to you but might not be important to someone else.

Going back to what people “generally” are looking for, many people will say that finding someone who is extremely physically attractive or intelligent or wealthy will be on the top of their lists. I am not here to tell you that you should not be striving for those qualities if that is something of importance to you. However, what I do want to point out is that these are not only common requests but that they are rather generic and surface level things to ask for from a life partner. Ultimately, don’t you think there should be deeper and more meaningful qualities to look for?

This brings me to something that I personally find ESSENTIAL in a life partner and a quality that is not really talked about often enough. I would say that a high level of emotional intelligence goes a LONG WAY in a forever type of relationship. Too often I hear people say that they are interested in someone who is “intelligent” but that can mean different things to different people and what I might label as “intelligent” might be radically different to someone else. I also do not think being “smart” really adds a whole lot to a relationship unless perhaps you crave having intelligent conversations with your partner on a regular basis. Now adding that emotional component to intelligence is very specific and refers to someone who is able to understand, emphasize, and relate to you. This is so crucial in a relationship! It is important to be with someone who really takes the time to not only get to know you but understand you emotionally speaking where you do not have to explain yourself or feel that you need to be less vulnerable because the other person (sadly) does not have that emotional intelligence component in their brain.

Over the years, I have grown to value this quality and seek it within all my personal relationships which include friendships as well. Being able to create an emotional bond with your partner while also feeling heard and understood on an emotional level is such a healthy component within a relationship. In romantic relationships, I understand that there are going to be many qualities that are essential to you but try to dig a little deeper and look past the surface level things. While I do understand having an attractive, smart, and wealthy mate are ideal qualities–I look at those qualities as bonuses rather than essentials. Think about it–looks can and often tend to fade over time, being smart doesn’t really add too much to the relationship itself at the end of the day, and your partner can always run out of money one day. If you relied too much of your decision on finding a life partner based on these things then you will end up feeling very disappointed, unhappy, or left feeling empty if this criteria were to not stay the same over time. It is for this reason that you should opt to find someone who is emotionally intelligent which will better ensure the longevity of your relationship in the long run.

Relationships and Timelines – My Honest Thoughts

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I want to start off with a quote that I recently stumbled upon:

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. “— Nora Ephron

I have always been the type of person to believe that when you find the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with, the relationship process will organically move into that direction in a rather smooth and healthy time frame. I never envisioned myself in a five plus year long relationship with someone for the sake of being in a long term relationship with someone that would not eventually lead to marriage. I never believed in having to force guys to commit to me or to ever be in a position where it would be a struggle to build a future with someone who cared for me as much as I cared for them. Trust me when I tell you–when you find the right person, everything will magically fall into place. You are not going to need to wait a lifetime for this person to want to start their lives with you because as the quote states, this person already cannot wait to start their future with you.

Think about it: When you cherish and love something, you want that thing as much as possible. You are not going to push it away or have to think about whether or not you want more of it. This same basic principle also applies to people yet so many people fail to recognize this. Why would you ever want to be with someone who needed time to determine if they want something serious with you or request a break from you when things get tough? When you LOVE someone (and more importantly, vice versa), you will instinctively do whatever it takes to be with that person. You will shift your schedule to make quality time for this person. You will make personal sacrifices for the greater good of your future. It also will come naturally to think about bringing both your worlds together and to create a life TOGETHER. As I always like to point out, it has to be BOTH ways. As much as you love this person, this person also needs to be reciprocating the love and be putting in just as much effort into your relationship as you are. Please do not settle for anything less than that or for a one sided relationship where you need to do everything all the time in order for the relationship to last.

If you are in a relationship with someone who you love but there is no clarification or security in where your future is going, never be afraid to walk away. You need to believe that your soulmate who you are longing to manifest will come quite effortlessly. You aren’t going to need to ask your partner questions like, “Where is this going?” or “Do you see me in your future?” The right person will not only find ways to assure you that there is a future but already be taking the action steps to shift your lives together. It is also wise to be extra cautious because it is very easy for someone to promise you a future with their words but not with their actions just to keep you around. If you sense that this could be the case, then you need to find a way to let go of this relationship despite how attached you might feel at the present moment. You need to look many steps ahead into your life in knowing that the right person will not only not walk away but also not let you walk away from them. The best way to invest into your future is to make the right decisions today despite how hard they can be. Never lose sight of what you are looking for along with knowing your value. These two principles will make it much easier for you to navigate your relationships and get closer to finding your soulmate.

How to Convey Your Value With Your Actions Instead of Your Words

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While words are a great tool in communication, you will find that sometimes words are not nearly as effective as your actions. For example, when disciplining a child, if the child misbehaves and you take their toy away, that is a very effective message to the child that their behavior was unacceptable and that is what caused you to take their toy away. At that moment, the child learns right away the consequence and might think twice the next time before misbehaving again. As opposed to saying that you will take the toy away and then not following through. That is why most discipline fails is because as the saying goes, “talk is cheap” and the words don’t mean anything because there is no action paired with it. That is why you have to remember how important your actions are and why it is necessary to take the proper action needed in daily life situations as opposed to using strictly words, especially within your personal relationships.

When you are dating, people are going to test you and find ways to push your buttons. While you might express to someone how you feel–such as your needs are not being met and threaten to break it off if things don’t change, it is much more effective to just apply space right away and/or consider just breaking up with the person on the spot if you feel that the other person will not be able to change. That might sound harsh but the action of walking away or simply being more distant has a strong effect because you are standing up for yourself and showing that you have VALUE for yourself. A pushover will have a tough time doing this. When you value yourself, it becomes automatic to take action and to teach the other person what you will and will not tolerate. While doing so with your words might have some sort of impact, it will not be nearly as effective as your actions. That is also why there is the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” While I am a big believer in being able to use your words, there are going to be many instances in which your actions have a more powerful message so do not be afraid to take action whenever it is needed. You might be amazed by the outcome and see that you will start to get the desired results that you were looking for. That is why the best way to teach people your value is through your actions.

Never Neglect Yourself in Order to Receive Validation or Love From Another

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One of the biggest mistakes that I see when people are easing into a new relationship or desperately trying to form a new one with someone whom they admire is that the person starts to sacrifice self or do things to please the other person in order to earn their validation. This is a big dating mistake for a handful of reasons. For one, if you are not being your authentic self, then it is essentially false advertising if you are pretending to be someone who you are not. Maybe in the beginning, it is easy to do this but over time, your true character would come out and the person might feel blindsided or that they did not really know the real you. It is natural for there to be differences and sometimes this contrast is actually what heightens attraction. In other words, there is no real need to mask who you are to begin with and it is okay to not be exactly the same as the other person. It is good to have your own set of interests and not to feel that you have to like everything that the other person likes just to be liked by them.

If you meet someone who you want to impress and you make personal sacrifices to please this person, you might over time start to feel resentful or that you are not receiving as much in return if the other person is not reciprocating your efforts. That is why in the very beginning that it is important to take things slow and to resist your impulse to want to do whatever it takes to get the person you’re interested in to feel the same way because you do not want the relationship to become a one sided relationship. It is very easy for this to happen and for the other person to take advantage or just stick around for selfish reasons.

At the end of the day, you are simply not going to please every person who you like meaning that the feelings might not be mutual–so will you have to learn to accept that. Instead of overextending yourself and becoming a doormat to someone who most likely will never ever change their opinion of you, it is far wiser to just move on and find someone who will enjoy your company and like your authentic self. This should be the ultimate goal for your long term relationships. It is important to surround yourself around people who support, adore, and cherish you for you. It should not be conditional where they like you because you try to transform yourself to become someone who they want you to be and it is far from who you are at the core. Remember that when you embrace your true self, the right people will come your way and you will develop more healthier relationships that are reciprocal and fulfilling.  

Social Media and Dating – The Do’s and Don’ts

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It is crazy how social media has easily become a large part of our daily lives. We use it as a source for information, to post updates, to see what everyone else is up to, connect with people, promote ourselves, and so much more. When it comes to your personal relationships, social media can play a role by either adding issues to your relationship or strengthening your bond. It is important as a couple to discuss your feelings about dating and social media because you cannot assume that your partner will agree with your values when it comes to how it affects your relationship. While I am writing a general guideline about what is okay and not okay, it is still best to talk about it as everyone’s personal views can vary. 

Do Validate Your Partner by Liking and/or Commenting on Their Posts – Even if the post is not relevant to your relationship, it is nice to acknowledge that you read it or support it by liking it. You can even take it a step further by leaving a positive comment about the post. This makes the other person feel that they are being validated and that what they have to contribute is important not only to them but also to you as well.

Do Include Both Posts With and Without Your Partner - While it is important to post nice photos with your partner to show the memories that you create together and your appreciation towards them, it is as equally important to be allowed to post photos without them. It is a good balance to incorporate both as opposed to saturating your page with too much couple content or the opposite extreme of not posting them at all. If you are with someone who does not like to be posted on social media whatsoever, it is important to respect this request.

Do Spend Quality Time Together Without Using Your Social Media - It is very easy to stay attached to your phone and devices throughout the day without spending enough quality time with your partner. It is for this reason that you should find time each day to spend quality time with one another without the use of social media or a cell phone by your side. In order to detach, it is a good idea to leave the device in a room to charge or where it is not easily accessible.   

Don’t Stalk Your Partner’s Every Move on Social Media – It is okay to want to look at the people that your partner follows or interacts with but it is unhealthy to analyze their every move and to track their likes and comments on other people’s posts. This can cause undue insecurities or a lack of trust when there really is no need to worry about anything. It is best to stay in your lane and to not care about what your partner is doing on their social media.  

Don’t Read Your Partner’s Personal Messages Without Their Permission – This is a huge boundary issue and invasion of privacy if you go through your partner’s personal messages without consent because it not only can cause a good amount of resentment but also for there to be trust issues against you. If you are in a relationship where you feel the need to do this, then this is probably not the right relationship for you. If this is a habit that you have had throughout your previous relationships, then it might be a good idea to seek professional therapy to help you navigate underlying insecurities or trust issues that you have.

Don’t Keep in Contact with an Ex on Social Media – Although this should go without saying, it still needs to be said. Of course every breakup scenario is different so while there might be instances where keeping an ex on social media is totally harmless, the majority of the time, it is truly best to cut off all communication with an ex and in some cases to block the ex all together. The reason for this is to protect one’s privacy but to also prevent a lingering ex from trying to reach out and reform a connection.

Does “Money Buy Happiness?” – If Not, Then What Does?

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Many people hear the expression that “money buys you happiness.” While there is some truth to that in the sense that having the ability to spend it freely and providing financial security are very positive things that many of us strive for in our lifetimes–it does not necessarily guarantee you happiness. There are people who have a lot of money but might not know how to manage it successfully which eventually leaves them in more financial trouble or could bring upon more added stress into their lives. There are also people who have unlimited financial resources who live unfulfilling lives and simply aren’t happy. So what are some other keys to happiness that do not revolve around money? 

Pursuing a Meaningful Career That Adds Value to the World – It is really important to dig deep and determine what you want to do with your life and finding a career path that is spiritually rewarding and brings intrinsic happiness. When I say a “career,” that also can include volunteer work, being a parent, etc. It does not have to tie into a job that brings in an income but really just finding your authentic purpose in your life.

Building Healthy Relationships – People often underestimate the importance of human interaction and developing healthy relationships but it is very beneficial to have good people in your life. Even if you are someone that is introverted and prefer to spend most of your time alone, that does not mean that you should not have zero relationships in your life. It is wise to have a social circle of people who are there to support you and spend your quality time with.  

Loving Self to the Fullest – You might already hear this all the time (especially in this blog 😉 ) but you need to love yourself! If you are not in a place where you feel that you love yourself, then you need to determine ways to get to that place. This could mean finding a better job, getting out of a bad relationship that is preventing you from thriving, or pursuing new hobbies that bring you joy. It is a necessity to find and learn ways to love yourself to ensure you are bringing happiness into your life.