Author Archives: Make Up the Life You Love

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About Make Up the Life You Love

Hi, my name is Meli and I am the creator of Make Up the Life You Love!

How to Handle Rejection in a Healthy Way

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What people need to realize is that rejection is a part of life and that it does not have to be as horrible as you perceive it to be if you know how to react, cope, and become a stronger individual from it. Many people feel defeated by rejection and some even suffer from a bruised ego for a long period of time. What if I told you that rejection can be a GOOD thing and that you can become a better person from experiencing it?

First and foremost, the first thing you need to realize is that you are going to be okay after being faced with rejection. You might temporarily feel bad about yourself or the situation at hand but that feeling will go away over time. If you tell yourself that it was not meant to be at this stage of your life and that a better opportunity will come your way, you will be much more motivated to find it and to feel good again! This is the right mindset to possess because it shows that you are accepting of the outcome and know that rejection is not the end of the world because there are much more opportunities out there just waiting to be taken.

This leads me to my next point that it is extremely important to realize that for every door that closes, there are plenty of doors that are ready to be opened. Meaning that you cannot feel upset over a single rejection or perhaps a series of them because the Universe is full of abundance all around you and it is up to you to go out there and explore what opportunities await you. Even if there have been a series of rejections along the way up to this point in your life, there are an unlimited amount of opportunities that are on the horizon in your life’s path in which you will not be rejected. Remember that you are destined to receive everything that you want and more as long as you do not give up and you put yourself out there. If you choose to do nothing and let rejection get the best of you, then that’s on you. The Universe has a lot to give but you need to put in a high level of energy and effort in order to receive.

If you get rejected from a job, relationship, college, or something that holds meaning to you such as a sport or other hobby, take this as an opportunity to ask yourself, “How can I do better moving forward? What can I do to make self improvements?” This is not only beneficial in heightening your own self development but it is also a crucial step in elevating your future. Think about it, if you get rejected from making a sports team, the question to the coach should be, “What can I do to improve my skill set and be a better player?” This should not be a time to feel bad about yourself–it is the time to feel motivated to be the best that you can be and actually take the time that is needed to improve. If people never got rejected, there would be no room for improvement. It is for this reason that you should look at rejection as a golden opportunity for change and not as an attack against your personal character.

Being Single Doesn’t Have to Be a Negative Thing – 3 Benefits to Shift Your Mindset That It Can Be Positive

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While many people choose to be in a relationship or prefer to have a partner, it is natural to go through phases in life where you are single for long periods of time or you might have recently gotten out of a relationship. Some people feel bad about a failed relationship and/or might possess a deep feeling of loneliness from their single status. However, this does not have to be the case and no one should feel lesser of a person because of it. It is possible to be single and not be bothered by it–heck, there are even those who are happily single and choose to live this way. While that might seem like an oxymoron to some, it can actually be a positive thing to be single. How does one feel good about being single and what are the benefits?

Do What You Want on Your Terms – It is liberating to be able to do what you want and not have limitations. When you are in a relationship, sometimes you are not able to do what you want and you might find that you do not have as much free time as you use to have. Typically, you also have to check in with your partner before doing something whereas when you are single, you are a free agent.

Focus on Self Development – Although you should always be working on self development whether or not you are in a relationship, it is definitely easier to focus on yourself when you are by yourself. Again, it comes down to having more personal time which you can utilize to better yourself. This is also to your benefit because when you are at your best, this elevates your confidence while building your attraction level which ultimately will increase the likelihood of finding an equally high quality match when you are ready to.

Spent More Quality Time With Friends/Family – I find that many people who are in a relationship do not make time for their friends and family as they used to previously. While some people are good at finding that balance, many end up spending more time with their significant other and abandoning their friends and family. When you are single, this gives you the opportunity to still make quality time for other people other than the person you are with.

Final Note – It is natural for people to want to be in a relationship but remember that it is totally acceptable to be single too. It is way better to be single than to be in a relationship for the sake of it or to settle on a relationship that does not suit your best interests. Too often I see people stay in bad relationships because of this underlying need of being with someone (aka anyone) and out of the fear of loneliness. You are far more superior than that so stop settling! It is always best to stay single and wait for the right person to come into your life than to stay in an invaluable relationship.

Why Most People Aren’t Successful – How to Beat the Odds

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Success often comes down to having the right mindset and developed habits along with taking consistent action to ensure results. While many might have their best intentions set to be successful at something or to achieve a goal, not everyone is able to follow through. I think there are various reasons for this and if one takes the time to examine the underlying issue that is setting them them back from success, one can fix the problem and work on overcoming these obstacles.

People Don’t Know Specifically What They Want – For many, people don’t think about what they truly want in their lifetime and just live day by day without looking at brightening their future. People might be able to make general claims such as wanting to be rich, healthy, successful, etc; however, that is not specific enough. My question would be, “Well what does success mean to you? How do you define it for yourself personally?”

Solution: This is where it is helpful to dig deep and mentally map out everything that you want and define every little detail. Even if your definition of success seems very far from your current reality, that is okay! At least you have a concrete vision of what you want and from there, you can create a plan to fulfill this vision.

People Don’t Want Things Bad Enough – There are people who claim they want something but then do absolutely nothing about it. If someone is not doing much about it, my immediate thought is that this person does not want it bad enough because if they did, they would make some changes and the sacrifices needed to reach their end goal.

Solution: Again, this is why it is important to define exactly what you want, not just semi want. If you are not too passionate about something, then you need to find something that you authentically care about. As a result, you will find that you are more motivated to manifest your desires when it is actually something that you want bad enough.

People Don’t Know Where to Start and End Up No Where – Many people are afraid to start something new or simply don’t know where to start to get to where they want to be. When people feel hopeless and stuck, they tend to do nothing at all meaning that they stay stagnant and never progress in life.

Solution: The truth of the matter is, many worthwhile things in life take time and it is not going to happen overnight. Knowing this, the solution is to take baby steps because every little action you take is going to get you closer to achieving your goals. Remember that moving towards something is better than not moving at all.

Is It Okay to Ask Your Partner to Live a Healthier Lifestyle or to Better Manage Their Weight?

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Not everyone has high health standards and the way in which one chooses to live life can be radically different from individual to individual. It is quite common to see two people in a relationship that might have the intention to stay healthy and fit but over time, one or both might start to let themselves go due to lack of motivation, a busy work schedule, stress, or simply just out of the comfort of being in a steady relationship. Whatever the reason may be, you have to remember that it is really up to the other individual to want to stay healthy more so than what their partner says. So keep in mind, even if you want a loved one to change, if the other person is content with their current health habits or lack there of, there never will be a change. So knowing this, is it worth asking your partner to live a healthier lifestyle or to do something about their weight?

I think the subject of weight in general is an extremely touchy subject. People tend to be concerned with either being too overweight or being too underweight. While most are probably more concerned if their partner gains excessive weight, there is also the opposite spectrum where someone is losing too much weight such as an eating disorder which is just as detrimental as being overweight. The best thing to do is to positively encourage your partner to make better health choices. If you approach your partner in a loving and supportive way, then there is a much higher chance that the person will at least be receptive to making a change. If you were to attack your partner and tell them that they have a weight problem, this is not going to be very successful because putting anyone down in a negative tone is not really going to accomplish anything and could also potentially cause a rift on your overall relationship. In addition, it is going to make the person feel worse about themselves and this might have the opposite effect where they feel hopeless and the problem gets even worse.

Besides providing support to your partner, another good way to gently encourage your partner to make healthier choices is to lead by example. If you can demonstrate that you are conscientious about your diet and exercise habits, then this gives the other person the opportunity to follow your lead. If you can also make being healthy and fit a priority to focus on together, then this also makes it easier for the other person to adapt. This can mean food shopping together and cooking nutritious meals together. Another idea is to schedule working out on the same days so that you can create quality time together while being fit at the same time.

At the end of the day, people are going to make their own personal choices in life and this applies to diet and exercise as well. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but it is up to the horse to want to drink it. If you are going to go out of your way to try to get your partner to adjust their health habits or to make any positive change, remember that a loving and supportive approach is the way to go.

How to Love Your Self Image – 3 Things You Can Do to Love Yourself the Way You Are

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It is natural to care about your looks and your outward appearance. I think this can be a good thing as long as you also possess a healthy mindset to match your positive self image. Unfortunately, there are many people who have a negative perception of self which would allow for them to go through extreme measures to “look good.” For example, both women and men get fixated on certain things that might not be within their control such as their height, facial features, and body composition. Personally, it is mind blowing to me that people would want to get surgeries to totally change their face or change parts of their body that take away from their natural born identity. I am not saying that to put down anyone who has made that choice because to each their own and whatever makes someone feel happy about self; however, the majority of the time, I just do not think it is necessary. Think about it, no one should feel the need to take a drastic approach in altering themselves physically–especially if it is unsafe and can cause potential health risks down the line in order to look and feel good. So what can be done to love your self image that won’t require a major transformation?

Focus on Your Best Features – It is very easy for people to focus on what they lack but it is most important to shift that focus onto what one already does have. I believe everyone has attractive attributes and what you perceive as unattractive can actually be a complete turn on to someone else. Rather than comparing self to others and trying to fit into a mold of what society’s definition of “beauty” is, it is best to work with what you were born with and to maximize what you already have. Trust me, EVERYONE has something attractive about themselves if they choose to recognize it and fixate on it rather than thinking about what they do not like or what they think is “missing.”

Develop Your Own Unique Sense of Style – You do not need to be the most naturally good looking person in the world to have a great sense of style. This is also something that can change and evolve over time. Areas of style can include your choice of clothing, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry, accessories, etc. Everyone has the potential to be stylish or at the very least develop a style that works for you and enhances your best features. While it is helpful to keep an eye out on the latest trends, remember that trends come and go so it is better to determine your very own individual style that is true to yourself.

Work on Building Self Love From the Inside Out – It is important to realize that looks are not everything. Having a beautiful exterior does not mean much if a person has low self esteem and has an endless amount of internal issues. Sometimes the most generically attractive people in the world have the most problems and feel the worst about themselves. This leads me to my final point that it is essential to always be working on self development and to find ways to increase confidence on the inside as opposed to just putting all your energy into feeling good on the outside. When you genuinely feel great about yourself, it truly does radiate from the inside out which should always be the end goal.

Living Your Best Life – Every Decision Determines Your Destiny

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Life is filled with many opportunities and it is up to you to make the right life decisions in order to live your very best life. People tend to think that we don’t have much control of our lives and that we have to settle for undesirable outcomes. No one needs to settle for anything! Remember, we all have one life to live. Why not make it an amazing one? That is why it is helpful to do a little bit of spiritual homework on your end and take the time to actually determine what that means to you. This is why vision boards or Universe journals are helpful tools in guiding you to illustrate what you want your future to look like. Even though this works for me and I always advise others to do the same, if you choose not to–the good news is that you can still proactively make the right choices and live a very good life.

I often times think about how it might take a series of good decisions to get to where you want to be. This is all part of the process and this is why it important to really think things through as opposed to making hasty or impulsive decisions. The start of each day brings upon a new beginning and gives you the opportunity to start fresh. Your destiny might not be heavily impacted by a single day but more so over a series of events or a longer period of time. It is refreshing to know that you are the creator of your destiny and that it is always in motion as long as you take action and focus on what you want most in your future.

Every so often, you will find that you did not make a great choice and you might feel set back in certain ways. This is totally normal and is to be expected because life is not designed to be perfect. It is how you learn from your mistakes and decide to change the course of your life that will put you back on the right track again. I do believe that sometimes it is necessary to go through bad things in order to get to the greater good. Remember that it is never too late to shift your life into a more positive direction and that you have the capacity to live your best life–one great decision at a time.

How to Build Confidence in Children – It Is the Opposite of What You Might Think

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I know I have written a blog similar to this subject matter before and it is something that is especially helpful to read, especially if you are a parent or a parent to be. Although I am not a parent, I understand what an important job it is and that it is a role that should not be taken lightly. I also recognize that everyone has a very different approach to parenting and what might work on one child might not work out so well on another. So of course, parenting is a very personal role and one has to tailor the job to their particular child.

No matter what your parenting style is, I think that most would agree that it is important to build confidence in children so that they grow up to be strong and independent adults. People tend to think that telling their kids that they are the best at everything and teaching them to believe that they are flawless is helping their kids. Let’s be real for a moment–No one is flawless. Everyone is born with skills and talents but no one is good at everything in every area in life. Think about it, if someone was told that they are already exceptional at something, then there is little room to find improvements or to grow. It is OKAY to not be good at something and to point this out to a child or to anyone because this can motivate the person to want to get better and to strive to be a better person.

As a child, my parents had no problem telling me that I was not good at something and that I needed to improve. Maybe in the short term, I might feel upset inside but in the long term, my confidence was set up in a position that in order to elevate my self esteem, I needed to find ways to overcome these challenges. It is kind of like starting from the bottom of the mountain and then climbing to the top. What a wonderful feeling it is (aka a boost of confidence) once you actually get to the top! If one already started at the top of a mountain, then you would just stay there doing nothing because you would have no where else to climb any higher. This also creates a false sense of reality because most things in life require some work in which one needs to start at the very bottom. No one just automatically starts at the top because again, there is no room for growth and one needs to embrace the challenges along the way in order to get to the top to build strength which ultimately generates confidence.

Find Meaningfulness in Your Life and You Will Always Find Happiness

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I was reflecting on my life very much at the start of the new year and while I know I live a blessed life, I also know that I live an extremely happy and fulfilling one as well. People who know me personally know that I am not someone who gets sad easily and depression is definitely not something I can say I have truly ever experienced on a deep level. Of course there are days that bring its challenges but in the grand scheme of things, I love the life I am creating everyday and genuinely am a happy individual. Am I just born this way or am I doing something differently? Can others learn to live happier lives themselves?

My biggest advice is simple and it is a general principle that I have applied throughout my entire lifetime, both on a conscious and subconscious level: Find meaningfulness in your life and you will always find happiness. It is important to find meaning in all areas of your life whether it be within your profession, relationships, friendships, hobbies, etc. By finding meaning, I mean actually have a genuine connection and affinity towards everything you pursue. Don’t waste your time working for a company that you hate and that brings you down. Don’t invest your time in meaningless relationships that don’t have a significant impact on your heart. Don’t go through the motions of life because you feel you are “supposed to do something” or because “everyone is doing it.” You need to carve your own path and strive to find meaning behind everything that you do and happiness will always follow.

How to Establish Healthy Communication From the Start – The Best Question to Ask Prior to Any Potential Relationship

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When I think about dating and relationships, I do believe that there is potential between any two people given that they both share a mutual interest for each other. However, there are many dating scenarios in which the attraction just stays at the attraction level but never progresses further due to inconsistent communication or lack of it from one or both people. This is what I call a missed opportunity and also an unfortunate situation simply due to the fact that two people did not establish a healthy communication pattern or it fails to be initiated at all. This usually happens for a few reasons. One or both people might be unsure of how the other person feels about them so instead of pursuing it any further, they just sit back and expect the other person to contact them not realizing that the other person is doing the same thing! So the outcome is that you have two people who are equally attracted to each other but nothing happens because neither want to really make a first move or have to overextend themselves at the risk of getting hurt. Another reason a person might not reach out as often is due to a busy schedule or maybe having a fear that they might annoy the other person if they message too much. Whatever the reason is, these all hinder two people from exploring love and developing a genuine connection.

Communication should not be up in the air and left uncertain if you like someone because it sends a mixed message. This is why I also don’t believe “playing hard to get” is effective because if you have two people doing the same thing as I mentioned, then both people never end up getting together. While yes, this tactic can build lingering attraction up to some point but what is the point of attraction if the end goal doesn’t lead two people in seeing where that attraction leads? That is like bringing a beautiful meal out to you at a restaurant but you are not allowed to eat it. You can stare at it but you do not get the pleasure of tasting it. My point is, mutual attraction that is left at a standstill or remains stagnant will eventually lead one or both people to move on because it is not going anywhere anytime soon.

So how can this be prevented? Once you actually are in contact with someone that you like and want to continue to get to know, I think the best question to ask this person is, “How often would you like me to contact you?” What I love about this is that it is direct AF and conveys that you are leading the relationship and want to be in touch but also am mindful of what the other person feels most comfortable with. If the other person responds in a way that suggests they do not want to be in contact with you much at all, this is a good thing because then you know not to invest as much of your time and you might consider walking away altogether. Time is our most valuable spiritual asset so if someone hints any disinterest, that is your cue to keep it moving. If the person expresses that they want to be in contact more frequently, then you know the person is interested in you and you now have a sense of how often you should be in touch with them without overstepping their boundaries and taking up too much of their time. I think it is a win/win set up and one that leaves a good first impression. It is appealing when someone is proactive and steps it up rather than playing a guessing game because most guessing games often lead to a game over.

My Thoughts on Ultimatums – Why They Should Be Avoided

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Many people use ultimatums within their relationships in hopes to change a behavior or to get what they want from the other person. My immediate thought is, if you have to give an ultimatum–then you are not with the right person. Why? If you were with the right person, both people would be on the same page in which there would be no need to give an ultimatum. For example, if you have to say to someone, “I will only date you if….(fill in the blank)“ then it shows that you are not accepting the person for who they are and you are potentially forcing someone to change against their will. Meaning that even if the person complies and gives in to the ultimatum, it often times is not their personal choice and can cause resentment over time. Rather than trying to force upon a change within the relationship with an ultimatum, it is much healthier to communicate with your partner what your needs, expectations, and boundaries are from the start. If you find that your significant other is falling short of what you ultimately are looking for in a life partner, even after you have spelled it out and have had open discussions about it–rather than giving an ultimatum, you are actually just better off breaking it off because chances are, the person’s behavior was not going to change anyhow and as I mentioned before, it is clear that both people were not in sync enough with one another. Too often I see people trying to change their partners with various tactics including ultimatums and they simply fail because it just reveals the incompatibility between two people and that they do not belong together.

Let’s look at the flip side of the coin for just a moment. What if you are the recipient of an ultimatum? Hypothetically, what if your partner is imposing an ultimatum on you? Now what? Again, the bottom line is that you have two people with a totally different outlook on the relationship and chances are, the relationship is not built to last. I also consider ultimatums to be a control tactic and a red flag immediately goes up if I were to be in a situation where someone has to give me one. Personally, I have a ‘take it or leave it’ approach to my relationships so if a person is going to give me an ultimatum, my response is, “We are better off breaking up because I’m not going to do something that I am not comfortable with.” Again, I do not want anyone putting demands on me that go against my value system and the core of who I am. If someone cannot accept me for me then I know that I am in a much better position terminating the relationship on the spot and being alone as opposed to continuing a relationship that easily can turn into a very toxic and controlling one. It is a lose/lose situation either way because ultimatums tend to cause separation, tension, and future problems. If one person complies, they are setting themselves up for an unhealthy relationship by giving their partner the power to continue to control them. If the recipient decides to end the relationship, then the other person is at a loss of their partner when they might have been able to find a healthy solution or communicate in a way that would have prevented a permanent break up.

This leads me to my final point that ultimatums should be avoided altogether as there are much better ways to promote healthy change through providing positive support to one another, making a commitment to express self openly and honestly at all times, and offering fair compromises to create unison. If you find that you are in a relationship where your partner is placing unreasonable demands on you or that you are with someone who is not capable of making the changes needed on their own terms to ensure a lasting future, then do not forget that you always have the option to walk away, never look back, and start over–and there is nothing wrong with that.