Monthly Archives: February 2024

5 Subtle Signs That Your Partner Might Be Trying to Break Up With You

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When you are dating, it is inevitable that the relationship might not last over time. Sometimes people are left blindsided and hurt but the truth of the matter is–the signs were always there and it is up to you to be able to detect them. There are those rare scenarios when a relationship ends abruptly with no true explanation; however, the majority of the time, the relationship was leading to a breakup before it actually happened. If one takes the time to examine the other person’s behaviors leading up to the relationship to end, then it becomes more clear that this was going to happen sooner than later. Here are some subtle signs to look for that could prepare you for an upcoming breakup.

Less Communication – If you notice a person is slowly becoming less responsive, taking a long time to reply to you, or just not contacting you all too often, this typically is a subtle sign that the other person is trying to let you go without actually confronting you that this is their intent. While it is a cowardly approach, unfortunately, many people tend to do this because they do not know how to directly end the relationship or confront that they do not want to continue being together anymore. In order to gain clarity, it is natural to ask what is wrong but sometimes it is best to end it yourself when you start to notice a lessening in communication because you deserve a partner who makes the effort to be with you. There is a reason why communication is priority in a relationship so when you start to see less of it, that might be the time for you to walk away yourself.

Canceling Plans Last Minute – If your partner makes plans and is cancelling them often by choice, this is a major red flag. Yes, there will be situations in which life gets in the way and a plan would have to be cancelled but if this happens quite often and there is not really much effort in rescheduling or making it up to you, then it is pretty obvious that the person is losing interest and not making you a priority. If you are someone’s option but not a priority, then you are simply wasting your time as much as they are wasting yours. It is up to you to be proactive and not accept this behavior by being the one to stop offering your time and to consider ending the relationship.

A Drastic Pattern Change of Their Behaviors – If you notice that your partner is breaking their usual patterns, this can be a sign that they are starting to detach from you. For example, if the person usually sends you a good morning text and stopped all together, that might be something to cause you to wonder if the person lost interest or are starting to take you for granted. It is important to follow your instincts and to pay attention to these changed behaviors. Typically there is a reason for the change and it could be a sign that the relationship is no longer progressing towards a future.

Asking for a Break – Typically, a “break” is a nice way of asking to breakup or to apply extra space in a relationship that isn’t meant to last forever. It might be difficult for someone to end a relationship in its entirety so asking for a break is a stepping stone to the actual breakup. It allows the other person to test if they prefer to stay broken up or sometimes the space gives this person a chance to realize they miss the person. Either way, while a break can sometimes bring two people back together, oftentimes it is safe to say that a break will soon be followed by a breakup. Remember, when you have two loving people committed to a relationship, this would not even be a thought and the solution would be to stay together and to do whatever it takes to make things work.

There is No Talk of Your Future Together – If someone is genuinely interested in you and wants to be with you, then it will come natural for there to be conversations of what your future will look like TOGETHER. When someone avoids this topic or never thinks about spending their life with you, then chances are they never will. Yes, it could take some people a longer amount of time to develop those feelings but you should also not be in a position that you need to be waiting around for the other person to talk about the future. If you see a future with this person but the other doesn’t, then the relationship will probably end in a matter of time.

How to Convey Your Value With Your Actions Instead of Your Words

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While words are a great tool in communication, you will find that sometimes words are not nearly as effective as your actions. For example, when disciplining a child, if the child misbehaves and you take their toy away, that is a very effective message to the child that their behavior was unacceptable and that is what caused you to take their toy away. At that moment, the child learns right away the consequence and might think twice the next time before misbehaving again. As opposed to saying that you will take the toy away and then not following through. That is why most discipline fails is because as the saying goes, “talk is cheap” and the words don’t mean anything because there is no action paired with it. That is why you have to remember how important your actions are and why it is necessary to take the proper action needed in daily life situations as opposed to using strictly words, especially within your personal relationships.

When you are dating, people are going to test you and find ways to push your buttons. While you might express to someone how you feel–such as your needs are not being met and threaten to break it off if things don’t change, it is much more effective to just apply space right away and/or consider just breaking up with the person on the spot if you feel that the other person will not be able to change. That might sound harsh but the action of walking away or simply being more distant has a strong effect because you are standing up for yourself and showing that you have VALUE for yourself. A pushover will have a tough time doing this. When you value yourself, it becomes automatic to take action and to teach the other person what you will and will not tolerate. While doing so with your words might have some sort of impact, it will not be nearly as effective as your actions. That is also why there is the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” While I am a big believer in being able to use your words, there are going to be many instances in which your actions have a more powerful message so do not be afraid to take action whenever it is needed. You might be amazed by the outcome and see that you will start to get the desired results that you were looking for. That is why the best way to teach people your value is through your actions.

3 Goal Setting Mistakes to Avoid If You Want to Achieve All Your Goals

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Generally speaking, if you are conscientious about making goal setting a priority as a stepping stone in achieving your goals, then you are on the right path. However, there are definitely some common mistakes that are made that could actually set you back although your intentions might be in the right place. Here are a few common mistakes that you should recognize and find ways to improve so that your goal setting skills can actually lead to the best results.

Your Goals Are Not Specific Enough – It is easy to make some general goals without any true substance. A classic one is, “I want to live a healthier lifestyle.” Again, that sounds great but that is just too general of a goal to even mean anything or be measurable. If you can map out exactly what “living a healthier lifestyle” entails, then you are moving in the right direction. It is important to take the time to really break down very concise ways to make this achievable. This could include a set of mini goals that can lead to your main goal.

Not Believing in Your Goals – Your mindset truly dictates every area of your life. If you have goals but do not take them seriously in which you do not believe that they are even achievable then what do you expect? You need to BELIEVE in order to ACHIEVE. The sky is truly the limit but you need to believe in your potential. If you do not, then you will stay stagnant and not move any closer to fulfilling your goals. 

Failing to Take Any Action - Many people think about things that they want but it is pie in the sky if you expect the goals to manifest themselves without any effort. The Universe does not work like that. You need to stay focused on your goals by taking the action steps that are needed to get closer to them. Most things in life do require work and do not come handed to you which is why you need to take action daily and you will be able to achieve anything that you want.  

Never Neglect Yourself in Order to Receive Validation or Love From Another

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One of the biggest mistakes that I see when people are easing into a new relationship or desperately trying to form a new one with someone whom they admire is that the person starts to sacrifice self or do things to please the other person in order to earn their validation. This is a big dating mistake for a handful of reasons. For one, if you are not being your authentic self, then it is essentially false advertising if you are pretending to be someone who you are not. Maybe in the beginning, it is easy to do this but over time, your true character would come out and the person might feel blindsided or that they did not really know the real you. It is natural for there to be differences and sometimes this contrast is actually what heightens attraction. In other words, there is no real need to mask who you are to begin with and it is okay to not be exactly the same as the other person. It is good to have your own set of interests and not to feel that you have to like everything that the other person likes just to be liked by them.

If you meet someone who you want to impress and you make personal sacrifices to please this person, you might over time start to feel resentful or that you are not receiving as much in return if the other person is not reciprocating your efforts. That is why in the very beginning that it is important to take things slow and to resist your impulse to want to do whatever it takes to get the person you’re interested in to feel the same way because you do not want the relationship to become a one sided relationship. It is very easy for this to happen and for the other person to take advantage or just stick around for selfish reasons.

At the end of the day, you are simply not going to please every person who you like meaning that the feelings might not be mutual–so will you have to learn to accept that. Instead of overextending yourself and becoming a doormat to someone who most likely will never ever change their opinion of you, it is far wiser to just move on and find someone who will enjoy your company and like your authentic self. This should be the ultimate goal for your long term relationships. It is important to surround yourself around people who support, adore, and cherish you for you. It should not be conditional where they like you because you try to transform yourself to become someone who they want you to be and it is far from who you are at the core. Remember that when you embrace your true self, the right people will come your way and you will develop more healthier relationships that are reciprocal and fulfilling.