How to Convey Your Value With Your Actions Instead of Your Words

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While words are a great tool in communication, you will find that sometimes words are not nearly as effective as your actions. For example, when disciplining a child, if the child misbehaves and you take their toy away, that is a very effective message to the child that their behavior was unacceptable and that is what caused you to take their toy away. At that moment, the child learns right away the consequence and might think twice the next time before misbehaving again. As opposed to saying that you will take the toy away and then not following through. That is why most discipline fails is because as the saying goes, “talk is cheap” and the words don’t mean anything because there is no action paired with it. That is why you have to remember how important your actions are and why it is necessary to take the proper action needed in daily life situations as opposed to using strictly words, especially within your personal relationships.

When you are dating, people are going to test you and find ways to push your buttons. While you might express to someone how you feel–such as your needs are not being met and threaten to break it off if things don’t change, it is much more effective to just apply space right away and/or consider just breaking up with the person on the spot if you feel that the other person will not be able to change. That might sound harsh but the action of walking away or simply being more distant has a strong effect because you are standing up for yourself and showing that you have VALUE for yourself. A pushover will have a tough time doing this. When you value yourself, it becomes automatic to take action and to teach the other person what you will and will not tolerate. While doing so with your words might have some sort of impact, it will not be nearly as effective as your actions. That is also why there is the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” While I am a big believer in being able to use your words, there are going to be many instances in which your actions have a more powerful message so do not be afraid to take action whenever it is needed. You might be amazed by the outcome and see that you will start to get the desired results that you were looking for. That is why the best way to teach people your value is through your actions.

3 Goal Setting Mistakes to Avoid If You Want to Achieve All Your Goals

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Generally speaking, if you are conscientious about making goal setting a priority as a stepping stone in achieving your goals, then you are on the right path. However, there are definitely some common mistakes that are made that could actually set you back although your intentions might be in the right place. Here are a few common mistakes that you should recognize and find ways to improve so that your goal setting skills can actually lead to the best results.

Your Goals Are Not Specific Enough – It is easy to make some general goals without any true substance. A classic one is, “I want to live a healthier lifestyle.” Again, that sounds great but that is just too general of a goal to even mean anything or be measurable. If you can map out exactly what “living a healthier lifestyle” entails, then you are moving in the right direction. It is important to take the time to really break down very concise ways to make this achievable. This could include a set of mini goals that can lead to your main goal.

Not Believing in Your Goals – Your mindset truly dictates every area of your life. If you have goals but do not take them seriously in which you do not believe that they are even achievable then what do you expect? You need to BELIEVE in order to ACHIEVE. The sky is truly the limit but you need to believe in your potential. If you do not, then you will stay stagnant and not move any closer to fulfilling your goals. 

Failing to Take Any Action - Many people think about things that they want but it is pie in the sky if you expect the goals to manifest themselves without any effort. The Universe does not work like that. You need to stay focused on your goals by taking the action steps that are needed to get closer to them. Most things in life do require work and do not come handed to you which is why you need to take action daily and you will be able to achieve anything that you want.  

Never Neglect Yourself in Order to Receive Validation or Love From Another

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One of the biggest mistakes that I see when people are easing into a new relationship or desperately trying to form a new one with someone whom they admire is that the person starts to sacrifice self or do things to please the other person in order to earn their validation. This is a big dating mistake for a handful of reasons. For one, if you are not being your authentic self, then it is essentially false advertising if you are pretending to be someone who you are not. Maybe in the beginning, it is easy to do this but over time, your true character would come out and the person might feel blindsided or that they did not really know the real you. It is natural for there to be differences and sometimes this contrast is actually what heightens attraction. In other words, there is no real need to mask who you are to begin with and it is okay to not be exactly the same as the other person. It is good to have your own set of interests and not to feel that you have to like everything that the other person likes just to be liked by them.

If you meet someone who you want to impress and you make personal sacrifices to please this person, you might over time start to feel resentful or that you are not receiving as much in return if the other person is not reciprocating your efforts. That is why in the very beginning that it is important to take things slow and to resist your impulse to want to do whatever it takes to get the person you’re interested in to feel the same way because you do not want the relationship to become a one sided relationship. It is very easy for this to happen and for the other person to take advantage or just stick around for selfish reasons.

At the end of the day, you are simply not going to please every person who you like meaning that the feelings might not be mutual–so will you have to learn to accept that. Instead of overextending yourself and becoming a doormat to someone who most likely will never ever change their opinion of you, it is far wiser to just move on and find someone who will enjoy your company and like your authentic self. This should be the ultimate goal for your long term relationships. It is important to surround yourself around people who support, adore, and cherish you for you. It should not be conditional where they like you because you try to transform yourself to become someone who they want you to be and it is far from who you are at the core. Remember that when you embrace your true self, the right people will come your way and you will develop more healthier relationships that are reciprocal and fulfilling.  

Social Media and Dating – The Do’s and Don’ts

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It is crazy how social media has easily become a large part of our daily lives. We use it as a source for information, to post updates, to see what everyone else is up to, connect with people, promote ourselves, and so much more. When it comes to your personal relationships, social media can play a role by either adding issues to your relationship or strengthening your bond. It is important as a couple to discuss your feelings about dating and social media because you cannot assume that your partner will agree with your values when it comes to how it affects your relationship. While I am writing a general guideline about what is okay and not okay, it is still best to talk about it as everyone’s personal views can vary. 

Do Validate Your Partner by Liking and/or Commenting on Their Posts – Even if the post is not relevant to your relationship, it is nice to acknowledge that you read it or support it by liking it. You can even take it a step further by leaving a positive comment about the post. This makes the other person feel that they are being validated and that what they have to contribute is important not only to them but also to you as well.

Do Include Both Posts With and Without Your Partner - While it is important to post nice photos with your partner to show the memories that you create together and your appreciation towards them, it is as equally important to be allowed to post photos without them. It is a good balance to incorporate both as opposed to saturating your page with too much couple content or the opposite extreme of not posting them at all. If you are with someone who does not like to be posted on social media whatsoever, it is important to respect this request.

Do Spend Quality Time Together Without Using Your Social Media - It is very easy to stay attached to your phone and devices throughout the day without spending enough quality time with your partner. It is for this reason that you should find time each day to spend quality time with one another without the use of social media or a cell phone by your side. In order to detach, it is a good idea to leave the device in a room to charge or where it is not easily accessible.   

Don’t Stalk Your Partner’s Every Move on Social Media – It is okay to want to look at the people that your partner follows or interacts with but it is unhealthy to analyze their every move and to track their likes and comments on other people’s posts. This can cause undue insecurities or a lack of trust when there really is no need to worry about anything. It is best to stay in your lane and to not care about what your partner is doing on their social media.  

Don’t Read Your Partner’s Personal Messages Without Their Permission – This is a huge boundary issue and invasion of privacy if you go through your partner’s personal messages without consent because it not only can cause a good amount of resentment but also for there to be trust issues against you. If you are in a relationship where you feel the need to do this, then this is probably not the right relationship for you. If this is a habit that you have had throughout your previous relationships, then it might be a good idea to seek professional therapy to help you navigate underlying insecurities or trust issues that you have.

Don’t Keep in Contact with an Ex on Social Media – Although this should go without saying, it still needs to be said. Of course every breakup scenario is different so while there might be instances where keeping an ex on social media is totally harmless, the majority of the time, it is truly best to cut off all communication with an ex and in some cases to block the ex all together. The reason for this is to protect one’s privacy but to also prevent a lingering ex from trying to reach out and reform a connection.

Does “Money Buy Happiness?” – If Not, Then What Does?

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Many people hear the expression that “money buys you happiness.” While there is some truth to that in the sense that having the ability to spend it freely and providing financial security are very positive things that many of us strive for in our lifetimes–it does not necessarily guarantee you happiness. There are people who have a lot of money but might not know how to manage it successfully which eventually leaves them in more financial trouble or could bring upon more added stress into their lives. There are also people who have unlimited financial resources who live unfulfilling lives and simply aren’t happy. So what are some other keys to happiness that do not revolve around money? 

Pursuing a Meaningful Career That Adds Value to the World – It is really important to dig deep and determine what you want to do with your life and finding a career path that is spiritually rewarding and brings intrinsic happiness. When I say a “career,” that also can include volunteer work, being a parent, etc. It does not have to tie into a job that brings in an income but really just finding your authentic purpose in your life.

Building Healthy Relationships – People often underestimate the importance of human interaction and developing healthy relationships but it is very beneficial to have good people in your life. Even if you are someone that is introverted and prefer to spend most of your time alone, that does not mean that you should not have zero relationships in your life. It is wise to have a social circle of people who are there to support you and spend your quality time with.  

Loving Self to the Fullest – You might already hear this all the time (especially in this blog 😉 ) but you need to love yourself! If you are not in a place where you feel that you love yourself, then you need to determine ways to get to that place. This could mean finding a better job, getting out of a bad relationship that is preventing you from thriving, or pursuing new hobbies that bring you joy. It is a necessity to find and learn ways to love yourself to ensure you are bringing happiness into your life. 

Turning Your Resolutions Into Realities – Goal Setting Strategies for 2024

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Did you really think that I would let January go by without talking about setting goals in the new year? (I didn’t think so! 😉 ) While we should be setting goals on a daily basis, the beginning of the new year is a good opportunity to acknowledge your achievements from the previous year while reassessing what goals and/or changes you would like to make in the new year. The truth of the matter is, without making conscientious and concrete goals or thinking about your true desires, you are most likely not going to get too far and end up staying stagnant throughout life. Personally, I believe life is all about progression and taking action in order to obtain everything that you want to manifest. There are absolutely ways to turn your resolutions into realities and it is up to you to make it happen!  So let’s get started…

Write a Detailed List of Everything You Want to Achieve - It is essential to really think about what you want in your life and determine the direction your life is heading. Does that mean expanding your business or running your first marathon? The sky is the limit when it comes to your goals so make sure you visualize what you want and to then take the time to write everything down with as much detail as possible. I suggest writing down your goals on an index card or in a journal so you can hold yourself accountable and look back on them for reference. You can also track your progress and check off once you completed a goal.

Examine Your Habits and Change Them in Alignment with Your Goals – This is a crucial step but one that is often overlooked. Your habits shape your action and will dictate whether or not your goals are attainable. If you currently have habits that are hindering you from reaching your end goal, then you really need to focus on shifting your habits and changing them so they will ensure that you can achieve all your goals.

Apply Deadlines and Break your Goals Down Into Smaller Goals – It is a good idea to fine tune your goals and figure out the time frame in which you would like to fulfill them along with looking at whether or not you can break down your main goal into mini goals. The mini goals can then be looked at as stepping stones to your main goal. Oftentimes you need to break your goals down into more achievable goals in order to move closer towards the big goal. Some of the most worthwhile and valuable things in life could take a very long time to manifest which is why it is good to celebrate those little achievements along the way.

How to Deal with Negative People in Your Life

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Despite how positive you might be, it is inevitable that you are going to deal with negative people in your daily life. Sometimes they are your direct family or friends which can make it more challenging but there are definitely ways to maneuver these relationships in a way that will keep your sanity without having any negative effects on you personally. 

Change the Subject – Unfortunately, there are some people who just thrive on negativity and drama. If you find this to be the case, the best thing you can do is take control of the situation by just changing the subject in its entirety or divert the conversation into a different subject that you would much rather talk about. Chances are the person won’t even notice what you are doing this and will go along with whatever you choose to talk about instead.

Limit Your Time with this Person - Sometimes the best thing you can do is create some space and spend less quality time with this person. If your energy is surrounded by too much negativity, it will also bring your energy and life down. It is for this reason that you are better off to limiting your time together even if that means being alone. It is during the moments of solitude that you can focus on your goals and your very own self development. 

Change Your Social Circle – It is essential to find people with the same mindset as yourself and this includes choosing positive people who will enhance your life. With so many people in this Universe, it is possible to find others who possess positivity as opposed to surrounding yourself with negative people. As your life progresses, that can also mean that the people in your life can change and there is nothing wrong with that as people come and go in life and are not always meant to be in your life forever. 

Try to Counsel Them – If a person you know is going through a lot of tough times, sometimes the best thing you can do is listen and give your advice. While that might not always be the easiest choice, it is wise to be the bigger person and actually serve as a positive role model–especially if it is for a close friend or family member who really needs you right now. You never know how much this person will value your input and support while providing a positive impact on their life. 

Happy 2024! – And My First Real Christmas Tree of 2023

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For starters, happy 2024! I had every intention of writing my last post for the year during the last week of 2023 to essentially just wish everyone a happy holiday but I just never got around to it in which I will make up for it now in my first post of 2024. The end of the year is always the busiest time for me because not only do I have Christmas followed by my birthday on December 28th, and then ending the year with New Year’s Eve–I also now have my wedding anniversary to add into the celebration mix and my husband’s birthday as well. It was really surreal celebrating our one year wedding anniversary at the end of 2023 because my wedding day still feels like yesterday! I honestly have no idea what happened to 2023 as it was probably one of the fastest years of my life. I do believe that having a spouse to share life with not only makes life that much more enjoyable but it does make time accelerate even faster than it already did previously.  

Aside from the year going fast, I have to say that this past holiday season was not only one of my favorites but also one of the most memorable. I have always wanted to have a real Christmas tree and was thrilled to get one this year as it was also our first year celebrating the holidays in our new home. It is times like these that you can really appreciate the little joys in life and how something as simple as getting a Christmas tree can bring happiness.  

As we end 2023 and start the new year, let’s take this time to focus on our goals for the upcoming year while still taking the time to be present and enjoy our life as it unfolds. Remember that your mindset if what directs the path of your life so make sure that you keep it positive, strong, dedicated, conscientious, and so much more! 😉     

Lifestyle Inflation – What It Is and Can It Be Avoided?

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It is hard to understand how someone with a high income could be living paycheck to paycheck but it is more common in today’s society than ever before. While there is no denying that high levels of inflation can be a culprit, there is also a phenomenon known as lifestyle inflation which is making it even harder for people to save money. An example of lifestyle inflation could be when a person gets a work bonus or a new job with an increased salary, then this person feels more justified to buy luxury goods or spend more money than ever before. While it is good to treat yourself and spend your hard earned money, it is still really important to prioritize investing and saving as much money as you can because you not only need it for your future but you also might need it for an unexpected emergency.

In your youth, it is very easy to fall into this lifestyle inflation trap because maybe you want to own a fancy car or dress in designer clothing. If you can afford it right now, you might be thinking: Why not? Again, there is nothing wrong with treating yourself but this cannot be an ongoing habit or this is going to lead to a lack of savings and potential debt. The right mindset to have is asking yourself, how do I build my net worth? If you place your focus on building wealth over time, then it will become easier for you to resist overspending on things that you truly do not need. As you get older, it will probably become a more conscious decision to save for retirement or to find investment opportunities rather than overspending. 

The best way to avoid lifestyle inflation is to first shift your mindset as I mentioned previously. For me personally, my mind is more focused on seeing more money in my savings and investment accounts than in my closet because I am a practical person with an understanding that excessive material goods really is not a necessity nor is it really making my life that much better in the long run. Whereas in my youth, I cared very much about having new and stylish clothing including designer labels. Once you have made a mindset change, then the next step is to develop the right habits to support your beliefs. In this case, that would mean to allocate your money towards necessities only and to commit to your financial goals. It can take time to develop the right habits but as long as you start implementing them, then your habits eventually become much more automatic. 

How Long Should You Be in a Relationship Before Getting Engaged?

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Have you ever wondered or had a set time in your mind as to when would be a good time frame to get engaged? The truth of the matter is, there is no one size fits all answer to this because it really depends on many factors. For example, if you have a couple who’s 20 years old, they both might want more time to enjoy life and not rush into a marriage whereas if you have a couple who’s 40 years old, they might be ready to get engaged sooner than later. Everything in life is about being in the right place at the right time and there is no one greater at determining that than YOU. It is up to you to figure out what you want and what’s best for you. That is why it is a good idea to have a general idea of how long you would want to date someone before taking the next step and getting engaged.

Personally, I have always believed that an engagement should happen between 1-2 years. The reason being is that I believe that it takes about a year to really get to know someone. I had been in many relationships where the other person put their best foot forward in the early stages of the courtship to essentially impress me but then eventually their true colors came out later. That is why it is best to invest time into any relationship and to not push for an engagement too soon despite how strongly you might feel for this person. Also keep in mind that if you are dating someone who is ready to get engaged rather quickly, while that might feel good inside up to a point–on the flip side, you need to ask yourself if there is a reason the person is very eager to get married to you. In other words, is it really love or is there an ulterior motive? The road to marriage is a serious life decision that should never be taken too lightly so always proceed with patience and caution.

If you have been in a relationship for a long time and feel that your partner is never going to want to get engaged, you need to decide if this is something that you can accept or not. If the answer is that this is something you cannot deal with, then it is wise to move on. As hard as it is to end a good relationship that you invested a lot of time in, you have to remember that it is never too late to start over in life and trust that the Universe will provide you a partner who has the same life goals as you. I never recommend forcing someone to propose or to create an ultimatum because then this person might just comply to fulfill with your needs but not necessarily is getting engaged to you from the right place in their heart. People need to be more in tune with their desires and have a deep trust with the Universe in order to manifest their dreams into realities. If your dream is to get married to a life partner who equally cannot wait to start their life with you, then it should be a very easy decision to end relationships that you know are not on the same timeline as yours with little guilt and remorse. Do not get discouraged with how long it could take to find your future life partner and know that this person exists and is as interested in being with you as you are!