Dating Advice That No One Wants to Hear but It’s True

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I have been trying to think of a good list of dating advice that can literally apply to anyone and everyone. I thought of a short list of dating principles that I recognize might be common sense but dating advice that people don’t always follow in which it is important to share it. I really strive to help people make the very best choices in their personal lives so hopefully these tips are helpful! ❤

Not Everyone Is Going to Like You – Accept It and Move On – This is definitely one of the biggest reality checks that many people fail to follow and understand. It is very common to like someone who does not have the same feelings in return. The best thing to do is to move on and find an equal match where there is a mutual attraction on both ends. However, unfortunately people still stick around in hopes that the other person will start to develop feelings over time or they simply invest way too much of their time, resources, and both their emotional and physical energy into this person when the signs were clear from the start that nothing meaningful was ever going to transpire. I know for many, this can be a tough situation to deal with and can easily bruise the ego. There good thing is, there are literally billions of people in this world and I can assure you that you can actually find someone who values you just as much as you value them in return. So stop wasting your time on the people who don’t like you and find someone who not only likes you but adores you! (Again, with so many people who exist in this Universe, I am pretty sure that this person exists–trust me on this one)! 😉

Don’t Be So Outcome Dependent – Especially When You First Meet Someone – People tend to have way too many expectations when they are out in the dating world and as a result, end up terribly disappointed. Now I am not saying to not have high standards because of course you should set the bar high when you are looking for a life partner. What I am referring to are relationship expectations and imposing a dating agenda when you do not even know the person all too well or perhaps just met them. For example, women tend to discuss wanting a marriage and children after the first date or just a few dates. There is nothing wrong with wanting to manifest these specific things but to mention this to someone without establishing a deep connection first is incredibly premature and unnecessary. The same goes with men who go on dates and they might have a set number of dates in their minds that they are willing to go on before the woman is intimate with them. This again is the wrong approach. It is way better to have a go with the flow mentality and see where things go as opposed to assigning this dating agenda because every dating scenario is situational and you might not even like the person all too much to begin with. That is why it is important to take the time that is needed to build that spiritual connection first and establish that you both want a relationship before expecting intimacy, marriage, etc. You have to let things happen as it is supposed to play out and be patient with the process knowing that the outcome you are looking for is on its way. This is why there is no need to rush it or impose it on anyone because you will meet the right person when you are destined to do so!

Learn to Love Your Life With or Without Someone – I find that there are a lot of people in this world who can’t handle being single and literally are not happy unless they are in a relationship. To me, the underlying issue with this is that these are people who feel empty inside because they do not love their life and/or feel good enough so they rely on others to provide them with love, happiness, and validation in order to feel good about self. Think about it, if someone is happy with their own life, they can navigate and enjoy it without the help of others. This is a very good place to be in because this means that you can function independently and if you happen to meet someone whom you choose to develop a serious relationship with, it is an added bonus to your life but not a necessity because you already love your life!

“New Year – Same Me” – Not a Bad Mindset to Have And Here’s Why

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It is still the first week in January within the new year and although I am sure you were expecting me to preach to all of you about how this is going to be your best year yet and how we need to start tracking our goals immediately–I actually have a totally different outlook when it comes to new year’s resolutions. It is quite common nowadays to hear the saying, “New year, same me” and I genuinely love that expression. The reason being that, even though it is a new year, guess what? I am still the same amazing individual I was a year ago and years prior who is continuing to conquer the world and crush my goals, one day at a time (*thank you very much*). While yes, I do think it is a good idea at the beginning of the new year for everyone to reassess life and determine what goals we want to achieve, the truth of the matter is–we should be doing this everyday regardless of what time of year it is. Life is all about making the right choices and I can honestly say that I CHOOSE to do this on a daily basis in terms of wanting to make life improvements and striving to live my very best life. The great news is, you too can make this same choice as well–and you absolutely should!

[On a final note as some people might need to hear this. Don’t forget how fabulous you already are today and that your life is only going to get better moving forward. I don’t care about what happened in your past–you need to keep your focus on your future. You are destined to receive life’s greatest gifts and in order to do so, you need to BELIEVE in what you deserve and from there, take the ACTION that is needed to make it all happen].

Cheers to 2022 everyone and so much more… 😉

First Blog of 2022 – What Do You Want to Read About This Year?

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I am back from my blog vacation and wanted to delve back into blogging again in the new year. So on that note, welcome to my first blog of the new year and happy 2022! 🙂 I hope that everyone had a wonderful new year’s and if that meant hanging at home in pajamas, I am with you on that as I actually did the same thing–hey, there is nothing wrong with being comfortable and cozy! This is actually going to be a quick post because I want to start working on some real blog content soon.

For those of you who wonder where I get my ideas for this blog, the content can vary based upon things that I think about or even current events. In addition, I do like to write about what my readers enjoy reading most. If I receive a blog request, I do try to address it if I have an opinion on the subject matter–which often times I do. For example, I just reconnected with a friend (hi Sheryl if you are reading right now) and she asked if I could write more about dating topics which I will definitely address more as I actually love to write about this subject matter. This blog initially was going to be strictly about relationships and manifesting love; however, I did not want to limit myself to only writing about this topic as there are plenty of areas within self improvement that are unrelated to love.

So if anyone wants to share with me what they enjoy reading most, you can always reach out to me directly and I will be receptive to them and try to cover them at some point within my blog! As always, thanks for reading and allowing myself to influence others to live their very best lives, promote positivity, and to express my innermost thoughts with a wider audience. ❤

Wishing Everyone a Healthy and Happy Holiday

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Today is the day before Christmas Eve and for all of those who celebrate Christmas, I wish everyone a healthy and happy holiday! I know with the recent spike of covid cases, Christmas might not be as traditional as planned but let’s all try to make the very most of it! Despite anything that’s going on within the world around us, there is still so much to be thankful for and now is an optimal time to feel a heightened sense of gratitude.

(As FYI–I will be taking a “blog vacation” for the first time next week and perhaps the week following. For one, it is my birthday next week on 12/28 and I’ll have the week off in which I’ll be away from my computer and have the opportunity to relax a bit. I will also be taking this time from now until the new year to spend with family, friends, and loved ones which I am looking extremely forward to. Thank you for tuning in and also a happy new year–I’ll be back in 2022)! 🙂

Treat Your Goals Like a Christmas Wish List

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When you are a child and you are asked for what you want for Christmas, you think about it and make a concrete list of what you want Santa to bring you for being good for the year. You might not have always received exactly everything that you had on your list but I am sure that at the very least, you had gotten a few of the items that you had asked for. The same should go with when you are setting goals and manifesting your deepest desires. It really makes a difference to take the time to think about what it is that you want most and from there, to write them down or create a bucket list. When you physically write these down or track it in a way that allows for these goals to stay fresh within your mind, you’ll be amazed that over time, they actually do transpire.

It truly is a simple spiritual process: You ask and you shall receive. That does not mean that you just sit back and do nothing and everything that you want falls from the sky right into your lap. I think this is where people question the process and think to themselves, “I wrote it down and nothing happened.” A spiritually enriched individual does NOT think that way! For starters, they never lose hope or give up on what they want if they want something bad enough. Reason being is that they understand that all things and especially the worthwhile ones take time to manifest. They also understand that they actually need to put in the work and the effort if they want to receive such miraculous gifts or to achieve magnificent things.

Kids are never afraid to ask for what they want for Christmas and have no problem writing an abundant list of everything that they want. As adults, we should apply the same mentality of listing everything that we want within our lifetimes and essentially asking the Universe to provide it. Again, maybe not every single item is meant to arrive on Christmas day but just know that it is in the works and eventually you are going to fulfill all the things on that list of yours–yes, you can have it ALL and you will! 😉

How to Give a Thoughtful Holiday Card

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During the holiday season, it is a great time to mail out holiday cards to your family, friends, and loved ones to show that you are thinking about them and that you care. I have noticed in recent years that people nowadays will mail printed cards that feature beautiful photos; however, the card is completely blank. There is no handwritten message and there is not even a handwritten signature. I don’t understand when it became socially acceptable to just mail a blank card to someone. That is like buying someone a beautiful birthday card and mailing it blank without a single inscription. The recipient would probably be confused as to why it was blank and even sent in the first place if there is nothing written in it.

The reason why I point this is out is that if you are going to take the time to mail someone a holiday card (or any card for that matter), the most important aspect of the card is the actual message! Even if you do not have much space to write a message, at the very least sign your name and address their name on it. The little details go a long way in my opinion. I rather someone save their stamp and not send me a holiday card if it is just going to be blank–just like everyone else’s.

Remember that a personal touch goes a long way and people will appreciate the card more for its content than how pretty the photos are or how sparkly and cool looking it appears. Now if you took the time to actually make a card yourself, this is another way of adding your own personal touch which never goes unnoticed. I understand that many people don’t have the time and creativity to execute a handmade card to their liking but usually the other person will like the thought that went into it. However, if you are not an artist, don’t worry about it! Again, I think the most important aspect of the card is to write a message, so be sure to not leave out that important detail if you are going to give someone a card because that message could really warm up someone’s heart and make their day. ❤

Relationship On the Rocks During the Holiday Season – Break Up Now Or Later?

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The holiday season is a good time to determine the longevity of any serious relationship and to measure the quality of it. For me personally, I always say that if I am with someone who ruins my holiday or birthday, the relationship is over. I know that sounds rather extreme but typically the holiday season is meant to be filled with happy memories. So if the holidays bring tension and frustration, one really needs to evaluate whether they are with the right person. It is much better to be single than settle on being with someone who is consistently bringing your life down. (FYI, I believe this is a basic dating rule that everyone should adapt and apply within their lives).

What if your relationship has been on the rocks for quite some time and the holidays are approaching? Do you break up before the holidays or afterwards? I notice that many people choose to hold off until after the holidays thinking that this is a “better time” to do it as no one wants to be left heartbroken before a holiday or have to spend this time alone. The truth of the matter is that there is no “great time” to break up with someone in the sense that no matter what time of year it is, it typically is going to make the other person feel bad. So instead of looking at it like, “Oh let me spare my partner of feeling hurt during a happy time and let’s just keep this going until the new year,” the right mentality should be replaced with this instead: “It is a major disservice to string this person along when I am mentally checked out of the relationship. I am making the very best decision for both parties to end it NOW rather than dragging it on to protect someone’s heart–even if that means that Christmas is around the corner.” Let’s pretend for a moment that you are the person that is on the verge of getting dumped. If it was me and I was in a situation where I knew there was a chance that things were not going to last much longer, I would much rather that the other person dumped me as soon as possible as opposed to going through the motions of experiencing a holiday together when the love wasn’t fully there on their end. I just don’t understand why people feel that they need to fake their feelings for someone just to prevent that person from getting heartbroken. Yes, it never feels good inside to hurt another person but I think it is far more detrimental to waste someone’s precious time and give someone the false hope that you are in love with them when you are not.

People need to look at the bigger picture and do what is authentic, even if that means that there are going to be some uncomfortable feelings along the way. If you genuinely feel unhappy and that you’re not with the right person, as I said before, do everyone a favor and have the strength to end it now–not after the holidays.

Love Is Like a Garden

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A co worker had once made the analogy, “Love is like a garden” and I thought to myself, yes, this is very accurate. I believe that any relationship, even the best of relationships require work and tender loving care for it to continue to nourish and stay healthy. The same goes with a garden–in order to ensure that the plants last, it is expected that you take the responsibility to water the plants, pull out the weeds, and put in a good amount of time for it to keep growing. One can’t expect plants to look beautiful and grow on its own if it is neglected and not taken care of.

It takes two people to want to take care of their garden, aka their relationship. You can’t expect one to put in all the work and the other to not contribute in any way. You also can’t lessen the amount of effort you put into the partnership simply because you have been together for a long period of time. I mention both of these scenarios because this is what I see happens most frequently–either the relationship becomes a one sided one or people don’t show as much appreciation towards one another as they did in the earlier stages of their relationship. No matter what happens in life, it is essential for both people to stay committed in keeping their garden a flourishing one. The bottom line is that love has the capacity to last a lifetime given that two people equally put in the work that is needed to keep it strong and everlasting. ❤

Can Opposite Gender Friends Be a Threat on a Relationship?

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I notice that people tend to have very opposing views when it comes to having friends of the opposite sex. There are some people who do not think it is possible to have opposite gender friends without romantic feelings developing at some point from either party (or both) while others believe it is totally possible to form a platonic friendship without it leading to anything more. My immediate answer to this is that everything is situational. Of course there are instances where friends can become more than friends but there are also plenty of instances where these friendships are mutually platonic. The real question should be, when do they become a threat on a relationship?

Frequency of Contact – If someone is talking to a friend of the opposite sex quite often, like everyday and multiple times throughout the day, I would say this friend can easily be seen as a threat on any relationship. The reason being that this person is getting a ton of emotional support and attention from their friend which I think over time can allow for two people to develop a closer connection and for romantic feelings to start at any given point. Even if both parties initially had no attraction towards one another, this attraction can still build over time due to how often they stay connected on a daily basis.

Quality Time Spent – When two people spend quality time together, I think it is inevitable that two people can start to like each other. On the other hand, sometimes two people genuinely have the same interests and have the same hobbies so they might just get together to share these commonalities. If you’re in a relationship and you notice that your partner is meeting up with a friend privately (as in you are never invited) for long periods of time or often enough for you to notice, it is worth having a conversation to determine if this friend is really just a friend or if more is going on behind closed doors. If you make the assessment that the other person is more than a friend and your partner is more concerned with keeping them as a close friend, it is to your best interest to break it off before their relationship escalates to a point where you are going to be left heartbroken in the long run anyhow.

Type of Conversations – I am not sure the best way to word this but basically pay attention to what their conversations consist of. Do these two people work together and strictly talk about work? Or is there underlying flirting and deep conversations transpiring between the two? If you see one or both people are relying heavily on each other for emotional support as opposed to just talking about surface level stuff, then you have every right to question it and see it as a red flag. Again, the best way to get to bottom of it is to openly ask your partner. If you still feel uneasy about the situation then use your intuition as a guide to make a firm decision as to whether or not this relationship is worth continuing. Chances are that your intuition is spot on and that you should move on to find a partner who wants to give you their full attention and make you a top priority over these so-called “friends.”

How to Stay Fit and Fabulous Over the Holiday Season

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As the upcoming holiday season approaches, we all know with that comes many celebrations and social gatherings. Since we are still in the middle of a pandemic, there might be a lesser amount of parties but I am sure there are still festivities to be celebrated. It is common for people to put on excess weight during this time because there are often more decadent foods and there tends to be a lack of structure during this time of year when prepping for the holidays. It happens and can be expected although there are ways to still enjoy this festive time and stay fit at the same time. I will discuss some healthy tips that will allow yourself to stay healthy but also not leave yourself feeling deprived.

Don’t Neglect Your Exercise Regime – I recognize that December can be an incredibly stressful and busy time of year, especially if you have a family and find yourself busier than usual with holiday activities. If you normally have a fitness routine, still continue to follow it as best you can or find creative ways to add exercise into your day. That might mean getting up a little earlier to fit it in or having to work out during times you normally would not be. Whatever you can do to find a way to keep your body moving will make a difference and remember that every little bit of exercise is better than absolutely nothing.

Indulge Within Moderation – Everything always comes back to moderation and this is especially helpful with making the right eating choices. When you are at a party or special event, I encourage you to eat what you love but it is important not to overeat because if you consistently overeat during these events, it is inevitable that you will put on excess weight. What I like to do is start with a small plate of all my favorite foods and create a little sampler. This way I can try everything and determine what I really enjoyed and get a little bit more of it if I choose to. Typically, I will already feel full after one plate but if I am still hungry, then I will go for a second plate and just grab what I enjoyed most. This way I don’t feel deprived but I still listen to my body to determine when I am full. By applying this same technique, you will be able to indulge within moderation.

Opt For Overall Healthier Choices – I know this can be tricky when you have access to more unhealthier foods and treats than you normally would. As I pointed out before, it is okay to have these things within moderation but it is also wise to choose the healthier food options that are available as opposed to filling your plate with all junk. The holiday season should not be a pass for all healthy eating habits to go out the window. You still want to try to eat as balanced of a diet as you can during this time of year while adding some treats that you don’t have all the time within reason.