The holiday season is a good time to determine the longevity of any serious relationship and to measure the quality of it. For me personally, I always say that if I am with someone who ruins my holiday or birthday, the relationship is over. I know that sounds rather extreme but typically the holiday season is meant to be filled with happy memories. So if the holidays bring tension and frustration, one really needs to evaluate whether they are with the right person. It is much better to be single than settle on being with someone who is consistently bringing your life down. (FYI, I believe this is a basic dating rule that everyone should adapt and apply within their lives).

What if your relationship has been on the rocks for quite some time and the holidays are approaching? Do you break up before the holidays or afterwards? I notice that many people choose to hold off until after the holidays thinking that this is a “better time” to do it as no one wants to be left heartbroken before a holiday or have to spend this time alone. The truth of the matter is that there is no “great time” to break up with someone in the sense that no matter what time of year it is, it typically is going to make the other person feel bad. So instead of looking at it like, “Oh let me spare my partner of feeling hurt during a happy time and let’s just keep this going until the new year,” the right mentality should be replaced with this instead: “It is a major disservice to string this person along when I am mentally checked out of the relationship. I am making the very best decision for both parties to end it NOW rather than dragging it on to protect someone’s heart–even if that means that Christmas is around the corner.” Let’s pretend for a moment that you are the person that is on the verge of getting dumped. If it was me and I was in a situation where I knew there was a chance that things were not going to last much longer, I would much rather that the other person dumped me as soon as possible as opposed to going through the motions of experiencing a holiday together when the love wasn’t fully there on their end. I just don’t understand why people feel that they need to fake their feelings for someone just to prevent that person from getting heartbroken. Yes, it never feels good inside to hurt another person but I think it is far more detrimental to waste someone’s precious time and give someone the false hope that you are in love with them when you are not.

People need to look at the bigger picture and do what is authentic, even if that means that there are going to be some uncomfortable feelings along the way. If you genuinely feel unhappy and that you’re not with the right person, as I said before, do everyone a favor and have the strength to end it now–not after the holidays.