Category Archives: social media

The Underlying Issues Behind Why People Overpost on Social Media

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Ever notice that some people post on social media way more than others? While some like to keep a low profile and not share too much on social media, there is also the opposite extreme where you see people who post every day or perhaps multiple times a day. In all honesty, when I notice people post very often, especially content regarding self, I cannot help but immediately think: This person is a total narcissist. Although I do not like to mislabel everyone who overposts to be this way, that sometimes can be the case. Aside from that, there are many other reasons why people choose to post regularly on their social media accounts.

Low Self Esteem – People with low self esteem are constantly in need of external validation in order to feed themselves with what they cannot feed themselves internally–recognizing their own self worth. So sadly, you will see someone post quite often as they hope to gain the attention from others including those whom they admire such as a crush or an ex they want to bring back into their lives. The problem with this is, overposting does not really guarantee validation from others so this could cause someone to be very upset if a social media post or story doesn’t receive many likes or approval as expected.

Needs to Be Center of Attention or Show Off – We live in a very self-centered society where unfortunately, people rely on social media to remain relevant, brag to others about how great their lives are, or to just attract as much attention as possible. It partially stems from low self esteem as stated above but it also can serve as a form of narcissism which I also mentioned at the start.

Has Too Much Time on Their Hands – Simply put, some people truly have too much time on their hands! This could mean that the person is unemployed or doesn’t have much of a fulfilling life going on so instead of working, utilizing their time to set goals, pursuing their passions, socializing in real life, or making a contribution to the world, this person chooses to just waste their time behind their screens to kill time. This sadly creates laziness, unmotivation, and provides little to no spiritual value to their lives. The only exception to this is if a person is using their social media to promote a business in which it is necessary to create daily content or perhaps this person wants to share a very special life milestone event or achievement which could be rewarding for their viewers.

Why Silience Always Builds Attraction and How to Apply It to Social Media

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People who have the least amount to say, often have the most power in a situation and tend to build attraction naturally. While it might seem counterintuitive, it makes sense because when someone remains silent or does not have a lot to say, this creates an aura of mystique where you are questioning what this person is thinking. If you sent a message to someone and this person did not respond, you are going to be left wondering: Why did this person not reply? What is this person doing? Was it something I said? It is for this reason that it is often good to pace your communication, especially if it is with a new love interest. Being silent or taking longer to reply will often work to your advantage. It will keep their mind fixated on you as opposed to giving the person too much attention where there is no room in their mind to miss you. There are many people who are impulsive and who are always striving for instant gratification which means being in constant contact with someone. I never recommend this approach because this can burn out the relationship very quickly in most scenarios. It is much wiser to practice patience and to take your time when communicating with someone new.

On social media, you will see there are people who post content daily. While for some it might be needed for their careers, for many others– they choose to share the personal details of their lives regularly which is typically a sign that they are starving for attention and validation from the outside world. Sadly, this is not the way to gain attraction. I would advise to be selective as to what you choose to share and to share your personal content more sparingly. When I see a person post too often, I usually find it very cringy–especially if the person is using their social media platform to try to show off or brag in some way. That is why it is always way more attractive when a person is unpredictable and you cannot predict their next move or know what they are up to. If you are someone who likes to post all the time, take some breaks and refrain from posting. You will notice that people will be much more interested in what you have to say because you are doing it less often. Remember that when something is rare and more out of reach, it becomes more intriguing. That is why your personal life should not be so easily accessible to the masses and that you should be extra selective as to what you want to share with your audience.

Social Media and Dating – The Do’s and Don’ts

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It is crazy how social media has easily become a large part of our daily lives. We use it as a source for information, to post updates, to see what everyone else is up to, connect with people, promote ourselves, and so much more. When it comes to your personal relationships, social media can play a role by either adding issues to your relationship or strengthening your bond. It is important as a couple to discuss your feelings about dating and social media because you cannot assume that your partner will agree with your values when it comes to how it affects your relationship. While I am writing a general guideline about what is okay and not okay, it is still best to talk about it as everyone’s personal views can vary. 

Do Validate Your Partner by Liking and/or Commenting on Their Posts – Even if the post is not relevant to your relationship, it is nice to acknowledge that you read it or support it by liking it. You can even take it a step further by leaving a positive comment about the post. This makes the other person feel that they are being validated and that what they have to contribute is important not only to them but also to you as well.

Do Include Both Posts With and Without Your Partner - While it is important to post nice photos with your partner to show the memories that you create together and your appreciation towards them, it is as equally important to be allowed to post photos without them. It is a good balance to incorporate both as opposed to saturating your page with too much couple content or the opposite extreme of not posting them at all. If you are with someone who does not like to be posted on social media whatsoever, it is important to respect this request.

Do Spend Quality Time Together Without Using Your Social Media - It is very easy to stay attached to your phone and devices throughout the day without spending enough quality time with your partner. It is for this reason that you should find time each day to spend quality time with one another without the use of social media or a cell phone by your side. In order to detach, it is a good idea to leave the device in a room to charge or where it is not easily accessible.   

Don’t Stalk Your Partner’s Every Move on Social Media – It is okay to want to look at the people that your partner follows or interacts with but it is unhealthy to analyze their every move and to track their likes and comments on other people’s posts. This can cause undue insecurities or a lack of trust when there really is no need to worry about anything. It is best to stay in your lane and to not care about what your partner is doing on their social media.  

Don’t Read Your Partner’s Personal Messages Without Their Permission – This is a huge boundary issue and invasion of privacy if you go through your partner’s personal messages without consent because it not only can cause a good amount of resentment but also for there to be trust issues against you. If you are in a relationship where you feel the need to do this, then this is probably not the right relationship for you. If this is a habit that you have had throughout your previous relationships, then it might be a good idea to seek professional therapy to help you navigate underlying insecurities or trust issues that you have.

Don’t Keep in Contact with an Ex on Social Media – Although this should go without saying, it still needs to be said. Of course every breakup scenario is different so while there might be instances where keeping an ex on social media is totally harmless, the majority of the time, it is truly best to cut off all communication with an ex and in some cases to block the ex all together. The reason for this is to protect one’s privacy but to also prevent a lingering ex from trying to reach out and reform a connection.