Tag Archives: self esteem

Self Love is Not About How Many Selfies You Post on Social Media

One of the many themes of this blog is the concept of self love because possessing self love is not only healthy but it will also guide you in making the right decisions in regards to your personal relationships. In other words, when you love yourself, then you are less likely to be in situations where people are not treating you right and it will become pretty automatic to weed out the wrong people from your life in its entirety. You will develop a zero tolerance for misbehavior policy because you are just too damn worth it to have to settle or deal with the nonsense (lol–heck, it’s true)!

In today’s modern culture where social media is prevalent and has become a significant part of our daily lives (not everyone of course but the majority), I find that there is such a thing as people who overshare selfies or just photos of oneself. Now if you are in a career such as a model where you are promoting yourself through the use of artistic images as a portfolio in order to collect more work for yourself then by all means, I find that it makes total sense to post them for professional reasons and I understand the logic behind that. However, most people are not professional models or are in a field that would require posting photos of oneself on the regular.

I find people who pretty much only post selfies or do so on a daily basis tend to lack self love because they are in constant need of validation from the outside world and in need of likes, comments, and attention in order to feel good or to feel relevant. Someone who has self love does not need to rely on social validation from others to feel good because it radiates from within. They know they look good already so they do not need to over project their image to the world. They seek validation in more meaningful ways than just images of themselves. Anyone who knows they are attractive or smart or whatever value they offer do not need people to be reminding them of these things. Someone who does not naturally have self love will be looking for it in all the wrong places and their validation will come from a place of neediness and scarcity.

I do not think there is any harm in sharing a photo of yourself enjoying a life experience or maybe you really had a nice outfit to share–I would just suggest to be more selective in the images you post so it does not make you come off as someone who is desperate for attention from others and that you offer more valuable substance than what you look like on the outside. Plus with all these filters and photo editing apps, who really knows if these images are truly that authentic anymore. I also believe that the less selfies you post, the more valuable it is when you actually do take the time to post a photo of yourself so make it count by limiting your selfies and by sharing other aspects of your life that don’t revolve around your image but maybe a hobby, event, destination, family, friends, etc.

Jealousy is Wasted Energy – Where it Stems From and How to Overcome These Feelings

As I stated in the title of this blog: Jealousy is wasted energy. However, why are certain people more prone to feeling jealous of others and is there such thing as someone being born with a more jealous personality over someone else? I always tell people that I do not have a jealous personality and I don’t get jealous of others. Maybe as a kid, it is normal to feel jealous every so often but it is such a temporary feeling that I cannot really recall really having those intense feelings towards others.

Unfortunately, I do encounter people who are jealous individuals (I’m sure we all do in our everyday lives) and people who have flat out told me, “I am jealous of you because [insert whatever the reason could be].” Personally, it makes me feel very uncomfortable to be around people that potentially could be jealous of me because I never want to evoke those negative feelings inside of someone and it also makes me question if I want to have someone like that in my life as I want to surround myself around positive energy only-people who I could rely on as being a part of my support system and wanting what is best for me.

So where exactly does jealousy stem from? People who feel jealous of other people are individuals who have a very low sense of self worth, lack confidence, and face underlying insecurities that could have developed as young as childhood or that they currently face within their adult lives. Think about it, if you are secure in who you are as a person, why would there ever be a need to be jealous of someone else? When I come across a person who is jealous, I always encourage the person to really look at themselves in the mirror and determine the bigger issue of why they have insecurities from within and what can be done to fix these internal issues.

How to overcome jealousy? As I mentioned, I think the first step is to really find ways to fix your current life circumstances and find ways to build your own self esteem. In order to do this, you need to focus on your own hobbies/passions along with finding your life’s purpose that brings you an abundance amount of personal fulfillment (FYI–this does not always mean a full time career as for some, perhaps being an exceptional parent is your life goal or giving back to the community through volunteer work). Pursuing the things you love in life will enhance your self worth which will ultimately allow you to possess a higher level of self confidence. From there, it will then come natural to let go of any feelings of jealousy that you might have been previously experiencing. Here are some additional ways to make an effort to combat these feelings:

Focus on your life by staying in your own lane – Listen, we all individually are on a different life path with different timelines, different life circumstances, and just a different series of events. Even if you try to emulate someone else’s life such as a family member, friend, or someone you idolize, it probably won’t turn out exactly the same anyhow. If you consciously stay within your own lane by focusing on creating your life path the way you want to lead it, then you should be able to create your own sense of happiness in knowing what your personal road lies ahead. If you feel you are not where you want to be at a certain stage in your life even when you are putting the necessary action and effort, my best advice is to still continue to trust the process that your life will unfold at the time that it is meant to and to not give up. Again, anything in life that is worthwhile is going to be a long road without any shortcuts, so continue to stay in your lane without going off the track and stay positive! 🙂

Don’t compare yourself to others (on social media especially) – Of course people present themselves in the best light possible, especially on social media profiles to project this picture perfect lifestyle. The truth of the matter is, no one’s life is perfect and what you see is not always the reality anyhow. So just because you see someone doing things that you want to be doing does not mean that their life is sunshine and rainbows all the time. Some of the people who appear to be living their best lives are actually some of the most unhappy and insecure people out there so just stop comparing yourself to these people. Who really cares? If this means you need to deactivate your account or spend less time on social media because it is making you feel bad about yourself, then I highly suggest you get rid of it altogether or do not get into the habit of scrolling to see what other people are up to all the time.

Be happy for others at all times – Seriously, I think people need to take the time to be happy for others, especially for other people’s accomplishments as opposed to putting yourself in a state of personal competition with someone else. It is just good karma, plain and simple. I think when you choose to support others and wish people the best, you are only attracting more positive energy into your own life. If you shift your mental focus to a more positive mindset altogether, you also will find yourself not having these feelings of jealousy anymore.

The next time you catch yourself starting to feel jealous, take a moment to examine your own feelings of inadequacy and ways you can work on this within yourself. If this means seeking professional help or just talking to someone who can uplift your spirits, I highly recommend that you take the time to do so. Aside from working on yourself, I hope the tips listed above will make you more consciously aware of ways to overcome your feelings of jealousy as this is definitely something you can get rid of in its entirety if you want to make this a permanent mindset change.