Category Archives: Self

More Drive and Discipline = More Results

Leave a reply

No matter what goal it is that you are looking to achieve, it all starts with DRIVE followed by DISCIPLINE. The drive is essential because if you don’t really want something bad enough, it is not a serious goal and very likely not something you are thinking about all too often. Trust me, when you genuinely want something, you not only think about it constantly but you will do whatever it takes to manifest the goal into a reality.

That is where discipline comes in, as I consider this to be a very important life skill in helping you reach your goals. Just about every successful person I know implements discipline into their lives in order to achieve great things. It is also very noticeable to me when someone lacks discipline because they tend to be lazy people who will put instant gratification over their long term goals–if they even have goals to begin with. Although I recognize that not everyone is born with discipline or were provided with a strong upbringing where discipline was taught, the good news is that you can still pick it up and start to build this skill into your life. Like most things, it is never too late as long as you are committed to yourself and make the effort to learn how you can become more disciplined. Here are a few things you can do to start:

Write Down Your Progress – I consistently preach the importance of tracking down your progress because it measures your growth over time. I prefer old fashioned pen and paper but find a tracking system that works for you and stick to it. It is remarkable to see your results unfold when you compare where you started to where you are now. Some goals can take years, so do NOT be discouraged when you are not seeing fast results and continue to track anyway.

Make Sacrifices Often – Keep in mind that with discipline comes sacrifice. That is fundamentally what discipline is all about–making a ton of sacrifices. Sacrifice does not need to mean deprivation. I am not suggesting you deprive yourself of anything but what I am saying is that you are going to need to make some sacrifices (which requires discipline on your end) to obtain the results you are looking for.

Take as Much Action as Possible – What sets apart a disciplined person versus someone who is not is that the disciplined person is constantly taking action. Even if that means doing things they are not too fond of (again, sacrifice), they are doing it anyhow! Disciplined people understand that you have to do these things in order to get to the greater good in life. They will take as much action as possible to get closer and closer to their end goal. Remember, any action is better than no action!

Authenticity Can Create Success If You Take the Time to Develop It

3 Replies

When people think about what qualities are needed to be successful in life, I can think of many words that are associated with success. The first words that come to my mind are hardworking, passionate, determined, disciplined, and proactive. There is no denying that these are effective qualities that will propel someone to advance and achieve many amazing things in a lifetime.

However, I want to share a quality that is often underestimated and not really talked about all too often. I strongly believe that being authentic is a driving force behind becoming a highly successful individual. What exactly is authenticity? I would describe authenticity simply as being true to yourself. One might wonder, well how is “being true to yourself” ever going to provide success? The problem is, most people do not take the time to dig deep and discover what being true to self means to them. In addition, many people are too heavily impacted by society, social media, and the outside world to the point where they go through the motions of life doing what they think they are “supposed to do” or what is expected of them. These same people tend to be too busy looking at what everyone else is doing rather than staying focused on their individual path and living a life of authenticity. For example, society tends to promote professional success to equate to this life equation: Go to college, obtain a degree, find a career, and voila–you can then live happily ever after with financial security and the ability to make lots of money. Let’s be real, this path is NOT for everyone. Did you know that there are plenty of successful people who did NOT go to college or they advanced in something that did not even require a college degree? My point is, life should not be pursued with a ‘one size fits all’ mentality as what works for one person might not be the right path for someone else. It is for this reason that you need to determine what being authentic means to you.

Everyone is born with special gifts and various interests and it is up to you to thoroughly explore them. You would be amazed at what hobbies can actually turn into a business and/or career. Think about the things you most naturally gravitated towards as a young child or adult. Something to also think about: What brings you intrinsic happiness and what do you value most in life? In order to be authentic, you will need to do the work and focus on your own self development. From there, expand on these talents and interests by mastering them and then actually find a way to utilize them. Do not be so concerned on whether or not it will bring you immediate wealth because I do believe that the money will naturally be manifested over time if you just keep doing what you’re doing and put your energy towards being amazing at something that you truly love and care about. Even if society or those around you do not fully support your aspirations, still stay true to yourself as you can always prove them otherwise later (after you become successful that is). 😉

Take Your Life to the Next Level – Embrace Challenges to Promote Positive Change

5 Replies

The majority of the time, we strive for security in most areas of our lives which provide us a high level of comfort. Being in a comfortable state is definitely a reassuring feeling but at the same, we need to be conscientious as to when we become too comfortable. There is such a thing as being too comfortable which hinders spiritual growth and prevents people from living life at their full potential. Think about when you go to play a video game. How boring would it be to keep playing level one constantly when you already mastered it? People like to play for the challenge and strive to move up to higher levels as opposed to just staying at the same level the entire time. Life should be approached in the same way. You start at the first level but you level up by taking on the challenges that come along the way and by setting goals that you want to achieve over time. There will be times where you might feel as though you are stuck at a certain level for quite some time before you reach the next big milestone but that is okay as long as you are looking towards your future and you are making the effort to move up which will provide progression over time.

Even though challenges can easily take you out of your comfort zone, you should consider this to be a very positive thing as it promotes change–usually for the better. When you are not challenging yourself, you are staying stagnant. If you are staying stagnant, you are just coasting through life when you should always be looking forward towards what’s next and how you can make your life even better than the current state that you are living today. In addition, adding challenges to your life can build character, mental strength, and confidence. There truly is much more to be gained by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone which is why it is beneficial to not stay there for long periods of time.

Take a moment to think about where you are right now. Are you continuing to set goals for yourself? Are you looking at the bigger picture of your life and creating challenges so you do not stay stagnant? Are you laser focused on where you want to be tomorrow or a few years from now? It is okay if you are not where you want to be at the present moment as long as you have an end goal set in your mind as knowing what you want and being specific about it is the first major step. From there, you can plan ahead by taking the action steps needed which often includes embracing new challenges and removing yourself from your comfort zone. Ultimately, this will elevate your future to great heights.

The Art of Aging Significantly Well – 3 Things You Need to Do Today for a More Youthful Tomorrow

5 Replies

People often rely on “good genetics” as their key to aging well or are under the impression that we cannot control the aging process. Of course genetics plays a huge role and certain aspects are out of our hands in terms of the way in which we age. However, it is great knowing that we can actually control the aging process based on our everyday life decisions. It order to slow it down, we as individuals need to take personal responsibility and accountability of ourselves throughout the course of our lives. I always say, “Self care is the best health care.” By that I mean, by proactively taking the time to make your health a top priority today, you are creating a better tomorrow.

Another advantage of making healthy life choices each day is that this will preserve your youth. There are many things you can do to increase your vitality and physically look much younger than your physical age that come down to focusing on these three components:

Take Care of Your Skin – A person often likes to determine a person’s age based on their skin, specifically their face but this can also include the entire body. No matter what your gender is (*yes, I am talking to men too), you need to apply face moisturizer every day (at least once a day but twice if you can) and do not forget to bring it all the way down to your neck. Ideally, look for one with sun protection for the day time and something more rich for the evening with anti-aging ingredients such as retinol, glycolic acid, and hyaluronic acid. If you add other things to your skincare routine such as a toner and face serum, you are even more ahead of the skincare game. It might go without saying to stay out of the sun but I do like to point this out as well as it is important to avoid extended sun exposure as much as you can. I am a runner but I make sure to wear a hat and load up on SPF when I know I will be out in the sun or I try to go very late or super early in the morning to avoid the sun in its entirety.

[* I find that many men are not socialized to use skincare and take care of their skin the way that women are told to do so at a young age. That is why I want to point out, men should equally be taking care of their skin too. Although there aren’t as many male skincare products out on the market, they do very well exist and most skincare products are unisex anyhow so there is actually a lot to choose from].

Eat Clean and Healthy Foods – As they say, “You are what you eat.” I couldn’t agree more! For those of you who are gifted with skinny genes in which you do not gain much weight or any weight at all, that does not give you a pass to neglect your health altogether and just sit back and eat pints of ice cream everyday. Trust me, it all catches up later. I can’t tell you how many people I have seen who were naturally super skinny in their youth and you look at them years later–aged and heavy. One has to wonder, what the heck happened? I know what happened, the person relied too heavily (quite literally–pardon the pun) on their good genes and put their dieting habits to the wayside. It happens and people let themselves go but anyone can consciously make the effort to eat a healthier diet. It is also never too late to get back on a healthy track or to start but the sooner you invest in yourself and the more consistent over time, the better!

Exercise Everyday – I know realistically, not everyone is capable of exercising every day but I advise setting the goal to at least try to add some activity in your day each day. A light day can mean just going for a walk after dinner or lifting a few weights in your living room. When people hear exercise, they tend to shy away from it as they think this means long hours at the gym. Although I believe exercise should be somewhat challenging to optimize your results, you can still find physical activities that are fun and keep you physically fit in the process that do not even require a gym membership. I look at exercise as an everyday ritual and compare it to brushing and flossing your teeth. If you can make time to take care of your teeth daily, then why would you even consider not taking care of your body everyday? I know people will respond, “Oh taking care of my teeth only takes a few minutes whereas with exercise, I have to commit at least 30 minutes for it to count and I don’t have the time for that.” My response to that is, if you truly care about your health and overall well being, then there are zero excuses! You can plan ahead by assigning time out of your day to add some exercise–a minimum of 3-5 days at the very least. If one actually took the time to work out the body EACH AND EVERY DAY (skinny, fat, healthy weight–my point is, it doesn’t matter), then one can still look extremely young and fit at any age. Someone with a healthy weight and nicely shaped body is not only the epitome of excellent health but are signs of youth and vitality. Needless to say, the benefits of exercise are endless!

Why Self Love is Always More Valuable Than Social Validation

1 Reply

We live in a world today that is often measured by the amount of “likes” and followers we receive on social media platforms. It is hard to always know the motive behind why people post what they do but I would like to genuinely believe there are people who like to post things on their social media to stay connected, share interesting aspects of their lives, promote good causes, relate to others, and/or create a positive digital space for others to be a part of. However, there is no denying that many people post things to receive validation from others to feel better about themselves. I want to start off by saying, there is absolutely nothing wrong with receiving validation and obtaining positive feedback from others. I believe that people should be putting more good energy into the world so if that means loving a photo or posting a nice comment, I am all for that. However, I am NOT for people heavily relying on social validation to determine their self worth, feel accepted by others, and/or as their main source of self confidence.

Rather than focus on who’s liking what on social media or the amount of little hearts that are received on a post, everyone should take the time to really dig deep and examine what creates one’s own sense of inner happiness and how to generate self love. At the end of the day, you will always have YOU–and that’s what counts most. You do not need to rely on the validation of others when you love yourself. There is no need to obsess over what others are thinking about you all the time because who cares what they think? The focus should be on building yourself up on your very own and not seeking people to constantly validate you in order to feel good, important, or of value. Do not let social media or anyone determine your self worth. Do not fall into a habit of short changing yourself as you need to focus on elevating yourself with self love above anything else. You have to remember–you are your biggest asset. (When you love yourself, that’s a given)!

Change Your Narrative to Change the Outcome – How to Shift a Negative Narrative Into a Positive One

4 Replies

Life is very much about achieving your best possible outcome, typically within the most dominant areas of your life such as your career, relationships, health, and financial future. What you might not think much about is how you control your personal narrative which ultimately impacts the overall outcome. Which leads me to the question: Are you consciously aware of how you are setting up your life path?

Sometimes you will come across someone (or perhaps this might describe you) who hold onto such a heavy amount of negativity which sadly deteriorates the narrative. What’s the outcome? As one could predict, not a positive one.

“I never went to college, so I will never be successful.”

“I have a learning disability, so I already am at a disadvantage in life.”

“I’m not physically attractive, nobody wants to be with me.”

“I am too old now, I am not desirable enough to get married.”

“I can barely pay my bills, I will never be able to purchase a house.”

It is normal from time to time to go through moments of doubt; however, this should never be the primary focus in your mind and determine the final destination within your life. So let’s change the narrative a bit…

“I don’t need to go to college to be a successful individual. I have other skills and talents that will guarantee me happiness, wealth, AND success.”

“A learning disability does not define who I am nor limit what life has to offer me. I can achieve what I want like anyone else can.”

“I love my self image and am physically attractive to the people who know a good thing when they see it.”

“Age does not dictate when I find love or when marriage is right for me. I am destined to get married to the love of my life in my future.”

“Each and every day, I am working towards buying my dream house.”

Do you see the radical difference? It is amazing what a simple shift can do to uplift your spirits and get you on the right track. Of course there are going to be instances in life where you might project a positive mindset and narrative in how you want your life to pan out and it does not go as planned. This is not an excuse for you to give up or cloud your mind with negative thoughts so do not ever allow this to be an option!

In order to make the positive change on your personal narrative, here are some things to consider:

– Actually take the time to think about what you want most and the positive things that you would like to attract. Many people live day by day but are not thinking much about their future. Once you determine what you want, do not focus on the limiting factors that could be preventing you from achieving what you want–instead you need to work with what you already have and take the action steps that are required of you to manifest what you want most.

– If it does not come natural for you to think positively, actually take the time to write positive affirmations that apply to you AND read them daily. Ideally this can be done before bed and when you wake up so they can transfer within your subconscious mind over time. This simple practice is more helpful than you realize and best of all, it is never too late in life to get started.

– As important as it to create a [positive] life narrative, you actually NEED to believe in your narrative! If you are not at a place where you believe what you want to achieve, then this just means you need to work on yourself. FYI, this is something we all should be doing on a regular basis–creating our best version of self. When we actually become our best version of self, with that comes self love and positivity which will allow you to naturally attract everything you want because of your strong belief you can have it all. 🙂

Trust Issues – Understanding Where They Come From and Can They Be Fixed?

Leave a reply

When it comes to trust, you will find there are people who trust very easily or those who do not in which they can easily be classified as people with “trust issues.” A person who is labeled this way typically possesses a deep fear of betrayal, abandonment, manipulation, or perhaps may even have trouble developing an emotional attachment because of their trust issues. When you are faced with someone with trust issues, chances are the person will bring them up or find a way of accusing you of things on a regular basis (or enough for you to notice it) even when you have not done anything to give them a reason that you cannot be trusted. That might make you wonder, “What am I doing to cause this?” when usually it is not personal to you and it is an internal issue on behalf of the other person.

There are various reasons to explain why someone will develop this whereas someone else will not. The explanation can be very complicated but usually stems from these causes:

Negative Experience From Their Past – Usually if someone was badly burned from a previous relationship (ex: lying, cheating, etc.), then the person will always have in the back of their mind that it can happen again even if they are with a totally different person.

Bad Childhood – No one’s childhood is perfect but if there were abandonment issues or perhaps distrust from one’s own family, this can heavily impact someone to develop trust issues at a very young age.

Insecurity – Insecurity is a separate issue in and of itself but can very much correlate with having a lack of trust. Someone who constantly feels insecure within themselves will always feel as though their partner can easily leave them for someone else or just be extra paranoid someone is going to betray them in some way due to not feeling they are not worthy enough of being treated well.

Poor Character (Cannot Be Trusted) – People who have the biggest trust issues are often times people who cannot be trusted themselves. In other words, if they believe someone will cheat on them, it could be because they have cheated before and/or continue to do it so they assume others behave the way they do.

Do trust issues ever go away? Can they be fixed? I think that for some, with the right amount of time and conscious effort to fix them, they can be fixed but it probably will not be an overnight process. For most, I do not see it as something that will go away in its entirety but again, if there is a focus to work on the issue, then it can definitely go away. It might also be wise to consider seeking a professional therapist who can assist in figuring out ways to cope and how to let go of the past. Remember, it is never too late to make a positive change in your life as long as you want it and are willing to work towards it!

Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others – You Could Be Doing This

3 Replies

I recognize that it is natural for people to compare themselves to others as a baseline for how their own life should be carried out. One might feel by a particular age, there are certain milestones that should be achieved or maybe one might see something on social media which sparks a thought in their mind that they wish their life could be as “picture perfect.” With social media platforms often used as a way to see if they measure up to others and/or as a way to paint an extra grandiose version of self and life, it is easy to fall into the habit of comparing yourself to someone else. Again, I understand how making a comparison often happens but people need to stop wasting their time comparing themselves to other people as it often leads to negative feelings of insecurity and jealousy. The reason being that this comes from a scarcity mindset where one feels inadequate and that they are not enough. Nothing is enough to them because of the emptiness from within. They focus on what they lack rather than putting their energy into something much more positive–creating their own best life.

There are ways in which you can make healthy comparisons so I do not want to classify all comparisons as negative. It can become positive if you have the capacity to look at someone else and genuinely be happy for that person and aspire to elevate your life to a higher level. That brings me to what you can be doing instead. You can make life improvements and adjustments to enhance your current life. Remember, we are all in control of our destiny and a work in progress with our very own individual life path. That is why I stay in my lane and just focus on my path because I determine where that path leads on my terms and I know that the way in which I live is personal to me. Even if two people had very similar aspirations and perhaps are on the same career path, that does not mean they will both be going at the same pace or that their outcomes would be the same.

In addition to wanting to make the changes needed to live a better life, why not learn from others as opposed to making a negative comparison? If you happen to know the person in real life, you can ask them how they got to where they are and assign them as a personal role model and/or mentor. If the person is someone famous, I am sure you can google information on how they got started along with watching interviews to learn more about their lives. Everyone should really take the time to learn from other people while also paying it forward by teaching others because we are each other’s best resources. In my professional life, when I come across someone who wants to pursue makeup artistry or know how I became successful within my career, I want to do whatever I can to help that person get on the right track.

Final Note: If you find you are someone who compares yourself to other people who you perceive have it better than you, take a moment to shift your mindset onto how you are fully capable of having it all yourself in your own unique way while doing some research as I mentioned. Lastly, do not forget to be grateful for what you do have right now while concentrating on what you want to manifest for yourself over time.

Why Going Back to An Ex Has A Negative Impact On Your Spiritual Path and Self Development

2 Replies

A friend had asked me a few days ago, “Do you miss any of your exes and wish you could go back to any of them?” Without a hint of hesitation, my response was, “Absolutely, NOT.” Does this make me a cold hearted individual? No, not at all. I look at it like this: The past needs to stay in the past. Life should be progressing forward. In order to spiritually grow and create a brighter future for yourself, the ship needs to sail to a new destination (in this case, a new relationship or happily single to work on yourself also applies here too).

You can still appreciate what the relationship brought to you at that moment and I encourage you to do so. With the good times, there were also life lessons. I never regret any of my previous relationships because that is what the Universe attracted into my life during that time and even though it did not last forever, it still served a purpose. No matter the duration, I never look at it as “wasted time” and no one should ever view it that way. Do you look at your previous jobs as wasted time if you did not stay at one company the entire time? No, of course not because this is what you choose to be a part of your life experience and most people explore multiple job opportunities within their career path.

Relationships shape you as an individual but they also prepare you for someone even better. Yes, you heard me. Your future is going to be far more superior than your past. In order for that scenario to play out, you need to believe that with every ounce of your soul (not just because I said you so) along with taking the ACTION needed to make that happen for yourself. This means completely letting go of your past without leaving any open doors for an ex to creep back in–unfortunately, we all know there are many desperate and needy people out there who try to knock on the door for another chance. This also means having the mental strength to not want to revisit the past either. In other words, it goes both ways. You have to shut the door but you also have to have the burning desire to want to start over with a clean slate. If you are despairingly in search of finding a new partner simply to replace your ex when your mind is still not over the last person you dated, then you clearly have not taken the definitive action that is needed to clear your past.

Whether you broke it off or they did or maybe it was mutual, cut your losses and move on with your life. Trust me, it is for the greater good for everyone because each person can grow from the experience and move onto a new life path. Personally, I find it exciting to know what the future will bring than to ever even consider pursuing a failed relationship. If it did not work out the first time, what is the point in going back? For security? Convenience? Comfort? Lack of belief that there is a better suited match? People tend to go back for the wrong reasons, settle for less than they deserve, and/or stay attached to a false hope that they will reunite with an ex. In certain situations, I think there is room for optimism but the majority of time, it just isn’t worth it. Remember, as I often like to quote from Frank Sinatra’s famous song title, “The best is yet to come.” You just have not experienced it just yet but keep your mind open to the possibilities because the Universe will make it happen (this does not only apply to love, it applies to everything in life!)–Trust the process and you shall receive its greatest gifts! 😉

An Everyday Motto to Live By – “Fantastic and Only Improving”

3 Replies

I was watching the news the other day where I learned that Brooke Baldwin is leaving CNN in which I strolled onto her Instagram (I wanted to send her some well wishes) and found her wearing a sweatshirt that read, “Fantastic and Only Improving.” She explained that whenever she asked her security guard Ant Diggity how his day was, he would always respond with that exact phrase. I loved it so much that I just had to share it with my readers! 🙂

What I like most about it is that it is declaring a firm positive state of mind of being fantastic (not just your typical, “good” or “okay” response). Then it is followed up by, only improving. This is really the key to living a fulfilling life full of abundance and leading to a path of growth, success, and happiness–which is by focusing on making self improvements and bettering yourself on a regular basis! No one is born perfect but at the very least, we can always strive for the very best things in life and make a commitment to be a better person each and every day.

So the next time someone asks you, “How are you doing?” Just look the person straight in the eye and reply with conviction, “Fantastic and only improving.” 😉

[On a final note, I am snowed in today in NJ and was thinking about taking a nap; however, after writing this post, I am actually self motivated to do more productive things instead. It goes to show that you can stay motivated with the right mindset].