I know I have written past blogs about what to do if you want to change your partner and how I do not believe that is the best approach in most dating scenarios. What if you are in the situation where someone is trying to change you? Is there a solution? Whether you want to hear it or not, if you find that you are with someone who is constantly trying to change you–whether it be your habits, personality, appearance, etc. then you should reconsider the longevity of your relationship and if it is worth keeping this person in your future. If someone wants to change you, this is not only a form of control but there is also an underlying issue at hand: This person does not love and accept you for you. This is a problem and one that should not be overlooked or ignored. I know you might be thinking, “Well if this person chooses to be with me, then this person must love me and want to be with me.” While on the surface this might be true, it is only a matter of time before the relationship unravels or there are more issues that arise over time. It is possible the person likes you for certain qualities but that the bad qualities outweigh the good which is why your partner feels justified putting in the effort to try to change you. That does not make it okay and you should not feel the need to have to do this in order to please your partner. Of course if it is a simple and easy request, then it is reasonable to make the change. Please keep in mind that I am only talking about if someone is trying to change you in drastic ways that go against your will and the core of who you are.

You should never be a person’s second best or feel as though you are not good enough within a relationship. If you find that you feel this way, rather than waiting for the other person to end it, it is better if you find the strength to end it yourself. Another suggestion is to have an open and honest conversation about how you feel and see how your partner responds. Someone who genuinely loves you is not going to react negatively and will empathize with your feelings. I recognize that it can be hard to have these conversations along with the consideration of ending the relationship but you have to trust in your heart that there is a better match for you. Remember that choosing a life partner is one of the biggest life decisions that you will ever make. You should absolutely be with someone who adores you and loves you unconditionally. You are too valuable to settle on being with someone who does not see the very best version of yourself. This is why you need to put yourself first and demonstrate self love by not tolerating a partner who tries to control or change you. You are ALWAYS better than that! 😉