Tag Archives: words

How to Convey Your Value With Your Actions Instead of Your Words

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While words are a great tool in communication, you will find that sometimes words are not nearly as effective as your actions. For example, when disciplining a child, if the child misbehaves and you take their toy away, that is a very effective message to the child that their behavior was unacceptable and that is what caused you to take their toy away. At that moment, the child learns right away the consequence and might think twice the next time before misbehaving again. As opposed to saying that you will take the toy away and then not following through. That is why most discipline fails is because as the saying goes, “talk is cheap” and the words don’t mean anything because there is no action paired with it. That is why you have to remember how important your actions are and why it is necessary to take the proper action needed in daily life situations as opposed to using strictly words, especially within your personal relationships.

When you are dating, people are going to test you and find ways to push your buttons. While you might express to someone how you feel–such as your needs are not being met and threaten to break it off if things don’t change, it is much more effective to just apply space right away and/or consider just breaking up with the person on the spot if you feel that the other person will not be able to change. That might sound harsh but the action of walking away or simply being more distant has a strong effect because you are standing up for yourself and showing that you have VALUE for yourself. A pushover will have a tough time doing this. When you value yourself, it becomes automatic to take action and to teach the other person what you will and will not tolerate. While doing so with your words might have some sort of impact, it will not be nearly as effective as your actions. That is also why there is the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” While I am a big believer in being able to use your words, there are going to be many instances in which your actions have a more powerful message so do not be afraid to take action whenever it is needed. You might be amazed by the outcome and see that you will start to get the desired results that you were looking for. That is why the best way to teach people your value is through your actions.

When Words Are a Facade and So Are Actions – What to Look For Instead

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There is the common saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” While there is much truth to that, I never fully agreed with that statement because some people are actually better with their words. They are more easily able to express themselves than others with words and articulate their true intent better than conveying it through their actions. They are the type you can take at face value because they say what they mean.

Then there are people who can relate more to that statement where their actions carry more weight than their words because what they say is not what they mean or they simply don’t say anything at all to express themselves. Although they may not have the capacity to really say what is on their mind per se or while also being the ones to talk a good game but their words mean nothing, then their actions will show their true hand more often than not.

In a perfect world, people’s words and actions should be pretty in line with each other. However, we all know that this often times is not the case. People tend to send what appears to be mixed messages where what they say (or don’t say) is not in harmony with what they do OR vice versa where an action does not match up whatsoever with something they said. So now what? How do you understand the underlying truth?

Solution: Pay attention to the person’s PATTERNS. This is not always an easy task if encountering a stranger or someone you do not know too well but if it is someone that you know well such as a friend, family member, co-worker, etc. then it should be a little easier to pick it up. Patterns really dictate most what a person is thinking, feeling, wanting, and provide an overall picture of this person’s intent. It is important to examine people’s patterns because this will give you better clarity and hopefully some consistency when things on the surface seem a little grey and fuzzy.

While many people are not always able to express themselves through their words or their actions at the same time, look at which more outweighs the other (words vs. actions) by observing the patterns within their behavior. It is a good practice to sit back and make some mental observations while also using your intuition as a guide. There is a reason why we have intuition, we just have to trust it more.