Tag Archives: human nature

Why You Are More Desirable When You Are In A Relationship Already

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Ever notice that people are more interested in you when you are already in a relationship? Then when you are actually single, these same people don’t give you the time of day? Is this a strange coincidence? No–I think not. I understand human nature enough to understand the psychology behind what is going here. This is not to say that I agree with it but it does make some sort of sense in an irrational sort of way. As I have mentioned in previous posts, love is often not a rational choice so it is not as easily within our control unless we are more mindful of our dating decisions.

Aside from this basic love principle, the main reason why people might be more interested in you when you are taken is because people tend to want what they cannot have or something that is out of their reach. In other words, if you are in a relationship, that means that you are off the market and hence more desirable because you are unattainable. When anything is unattainable, this raises its value and attraction level. Think about when you go shopping, anything that you had to work really hard to save up money to buy will always be seen as higher value as opposed to something that you were able to purchase rather easily or that was inexpensive to begin with. This is why no matter what state the economy is in, there will always be a demand for luxury goods which therefore would explain why people will continue to buy them. Are these products necessarily better? Not necessarily but our perception tends to guide us to view these name brand products to be of higher value due its higher cost and desire to obtain them.

If you find that you like someone and the other person is not single, it is best to move on and make a conscious choice to find someone who is both of high value and available at the same time. Trust me, this person exists if you believe that you can find this person in your future because your thoughts do very well become things (aka they will manifest if you think about it enough and actually believe in your thoughts). If you are in the opposite situation where you are with someone and now someone who was not interested in you is all of a sudden interested in you, then the truth of the matter is–too little too late. It is not worth entertaining this option if you are happily in a relationship because this person might not even have a genuine interest in you and only have developed an interest because you are no longer available.

When Words Are a Facade and So Are Actions – What to Look For Instead

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There is the common saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” While there is much truth to that, I never fully agreed with that statement because some people are actually better with their words. They are more easily able to express themselves than others with words and articulate their true intent better than conveying it through their actions. They are the type you can take at face value because they say what they mean.

Then there are people who can relate more to that statement where their actions carry more weight than their words because what they say is not what they mean or they simply don’t say anything at all to express themselves. Although they may not have the capacity to really say what is on their mind per se or while also being the ones to talk a good game but their words mean nothing, then their actions will show their true hand more often than not.

In a perfect world, people’s words and actions should be pretty in line with each other. However, we all know that this often times is not the case. People tend to send what appears to be mixed messages where what they say (or don’t say) is not in harmony with what they do OR vice versa where an action does not match up whatsoever with something they said. So now what? How do you understand the underlying truth?

Solution: Pay attention to the person’s PATTERNS. This is not always an easy task if encountering a stranger or someone you do not know too well but if it is someone that you know well such as a friend, family member, co-worker, etc. then it should be a little easier to pick it up. Patterns really dictate most what a person is thinking, feeling, wanting, and provide an overall picture of this person’s intent. It is important to examine people’s patterns because this will give you better clarity and hopefully some consistency when things on the surface seem a little grey and fuzzy.

While many people are not always able to express themselves through their words or their actions at the same time, look at which more outweighs the other (words vs. actions) by observing the patterns within their behavior. It is a good practice to sit back and make some mental observations while also using your intuition as a guide. There is a reason why we have intuition, we just have to trust it more.