A Mother’s Day Message My Mom Gave Me 10 Years Ago That Applies to All Women

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While Mother’s Day just passed a few days ago, it is good to acknowledge it but realistically everyday. Although I am not a mom, 10 years ago, my mom had printed a copy of Maya Angelou’s poem, “Phenomenal Woman” and placed it in a frame. Although I was familiar with Maya Angelou, I was not familiar with this poem. I always kept this proudly displayed in my room on my dresser and just realized that it has been exactly a decade since I was given this gift and the message still applies. The best thing about it is, it applies to all women and does not matter if you are a mom or not. This was a thoughtful gift from my mother that I will never forget and that I will always cherish. The poem is below and I advise everyone to take the time to read it.

The inner confidence of knowing your value and knowing you are a phenomenal woman is way more important than superficial things such as one’s outer appearance. Some women go through a great extent to keep up with their physical appearance when the truth of the matter is, it is the inner beauty that counts most and what classifies a woman to be a truly phenomenal one. It is great to care about self care and investing time to keep up with appearances but that should never be the sole source of one’s self confidence. Being the prettiest girl in a room means nothing if there is no substance or value from within. Don’t forget that being phenomenal is more than just looks and that it is a mindset! 😉

Always Make Moves In Life – You Can Change the Direction Later

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As you navigate through life, it is best to always be making moves and taking action as opposed to doing nothing or staying stagnant. If you stay comfortable and complacent all the time, you will find that your life is not only unfulfilling (perhaps boring) and that you aren’t going anywhere. Who wants to stay in the same place all the time? I understand that many people feel a higher level of security staying within their comfort zone but there isn’t much spiritual growth and it is during the times that you challenge yourself and try something new that you are actually elevating yourself in the long run.

Even if you made a life decision that did not go as planned, at least you can say that you tried and you can always change the direction later. In life, you sometimes have to take a few detours before getting on the right track of your life. As I have pointed out previously, sometimes a setback is a set up for something even better in your future. So don’t be afraid to take chances and try new things! I promise that you will never regret it! 😉

3 Ways to Build Wealth Through Your Mindset

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Whether you want to believe it or not, your MINDSET is your strongest asset in helping you manifest your desires and reach all your lifetime goals. For many people, building wealth is on the top of the list but many people do not know where to start. Time and time again, as I just pointed out from the very beginning–it all begins with your mindset. It is your choice in how you develop your thoughts, so why not think with intention and develop a stronger mindset? The good thing is, it is never too late to develop a positive mindset in regards to how you view money and navigate your financial future.

Believe in Your Money Making Potential – For me personally, making money has always come very easily. Mind you, I have always worked very hard to ensure that I make enough money to be financially independent while also saving for my future. My earning potential has always been abundant not solely due to my deep desire to build wealth but also because I strongly believe that I have the capacity to generate a ton of money. This belief propels me to take the action that is needed to manifest and make it happen. I don’t sit around and wait for the money to fall from the sky because I recognize that the process does not work that way. Maybe for some people, they are not in a position where they need to work or they have someone who can totally provide for them. While this might appear nice on the surface, it goes against my core belief that I am a money making machine. Hence I have never been one to rely on others for money and have always found ways to make a good living where I have enough money for daily expenses and where I can still put money aside for the future. This goes to show that anyone can do it given they have the right mindset.

Understand that Building Wealth Is a Gradual Process – Everyone is looking for a get rich quick money strategy or wants to be rich right now but realistically, most people who have accumulated a substantial amount of wealth will tell you that it was not an overnight process. It is more about how consistent you are with your money habits and setting long term goals which will ultimately lead to a good amount of money. Besides saving money, it is important to invest your money so that it continues to grow and accumulate over time. It is okay if you are starting small or with essentially nothing, as long as you stay on a good path to wealth with the mindset that you are going to continue to keep building wealth throughout your lifetime by your everyday money habits.

Be Willing to Make Sacrifices for the Greater Good of Your Financial Future – I recognize that saving and investing money might not be as exciting as spending it right now but it is ESSENTIAL to get into the habit of holding onto more money than you are taking home. This is a necessity not only for building long term wealth but this habit will allow for you to become financially stable and prevent you from taking on any unnecessary debts. There will always be temptations in your life from having the fanciest car to having designer clothes to wanting to eat at the nicest restaurants or whatever you want to spend your hard earned money on to provide you instant gratification but you need to shift your mindset to believe that you don’t need these things and prioritize your future above anything else while just focusing on your basic necessities as much as you can. That is not to say that you are not allowed to treat yourself from time to time but rather to not let instant gratification be the driving force of your spending decisions. It is better to make financial sacrifices now for the greater good of your abundant future that lies ahead.

How Important Is It to Date Someone With the Same Health Habits As You?

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When it comes to health and wellness, some people definitely prioritize their health more than others while some people do not care about their health whatsoever. While I do think it is very difficult to find someone who totally shares the same views and habits in regards to their health, it is definitely possible to find someone who has a similar lifestyle. The question is, how much does this matter in a relationship?

I would compare health and fitness to religion, where it is something that could matter significantly and when there are contrasting views, it can cause some conflicts and tension over time. If you have someone who is very health conscious, this person can grow very resentful over time if their partner is not and can feel like they are a burden by their poor health decisions. The person who is less healthy can also grow resentful of their partner if they feel that their healthier partner cannot accept them for themselves and that their significant other is trying to change them to become more healthy. I can see how both parties could get frustrated at each other for different reasons. I think the underlying issue here is a lack of ACCEPTANCE and/or unrealistic expectations. When two people love each other, they should find a way to accept each other which means accepting the good and the bad traits. If two people learn to accept each other, then this would never become a major issue in a relationship. While I also believe that setting expectations in a relationship can be a positive thing, it is not positive if you set an unrealistic expectation to change someone who most likely will not change their habits. The only way a change can be made is if the person intrinsically wants to change and not trying to change because the other person is pushing them to.

At the same time, if you detect early on within a relationship that a person does not have the same views and/or habits as you when it comes to health and this is something that is extremely important to you, I advise it is best to move on and to look for someone who can be on the same page as you. It is better to break it off and find a partner who is in alignment with your lifestyle as opposed to trying to change the person because as I mentioned previously, the person most likely will not change. You will be much happier in the long run and feel closer to your partner when you are with someone who has very similar health habits as you–given that is a high priority in your life.

Ignore the Social Media Facade – Your Personal Happiness Is More Important Than Conformity and What You See Others Doing

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Whether consciously or unconsciously aware, people tend to conform with society and emulate the lives of others around them or those whom they admire. It is especially natural to want to live life like other people because with social media, we are constantly exposed to how glamorous and beautiful people’s lives are because of the way others choose to showcase the very best aspects of their lives. The truth of the matter is, life is NOT always glamorous and what you see on the surface isn’t always the reality. People never post their failures, insecurities, challenges, unflattering photos, and/or their struggles. It is for this reason it is best to not care or be influenced by what you see people doing and to just focus on your personal happiness–even if it is not what is commonly seen on social media or conforms with society.

When I look at why I am happier than most people, part of it has to do with the fact that I do not compare my life to others because I understand that everyone’s individual path is unique and special. I proactively stay on my own path to happiness and pursue my authentic interests on my own time schedule. I do not go through the motions of doing things for the sake of it or because everyone else is doing something. I care more about my happiness than conformity because at the end of the day, what makes me happy might be different from what someone else defines as their happiness.

It is a good idea to reduce your screen time and detach from your social media accounts (in other words reduce your time on them or avoid them altogether) so that you are not tempted to look at what everyone else is doing. Not only is it a waste of time but that energy can be best spent focusing on your own personal goals and mapping out your very own beautiful future. Your time is a valuable spiritual asset so it is important to spend it wisely and invest your time in the right places. It is refreshing to live your life in real life anyhow as opposed to always staying behind a screen!

Is There Such a Thing As Being Too Possessive?

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It is natural to be with someone and feel possessive of them because of your commitment and loyalty to this person. This can be a positive thing but it is important to keep an eye out when you are feeling overly possessive of the person or perhaps someone is being too possessive of you. It is important to be consciously aware of this because being too possessive within a relationship can easily turn into a toxic one. To prevent this from happening, it is important to establish healthy boundaries from day one. If you are dating someone and they do not let you do basic activities by yourself like going to the gym or hanging out with a friend, this is definitely a red flag that should not be ignored. You might want to question the cause of this or you might decide that this isn’t the relationship for you.

Typically, if you notice someone is overly possessive, it can stem from deep insecurities or trust issues. For example, someone might feel that the other person can easily steal their mate away which would explain why there is this need to be overly possessive. Even though it might appear very irrational to feel this way, for someone that is insecure, this is a common fear that usually doesn’t go away. On the other hand, someone might have been cheated on previously which would explain why there would be trust issues moving forward. This would also cause someone to be very possessive in hopes of never being cheated on again.

No matter what the cause is, as I mentioned previously, it is important to be aware of this as an issue. While being possessive might appear as though the person is extra caring, it can later turn into manipulation and controlling behavior where the person needs to know your every move in order for them to feel secure within the relationship. This is not healthy and it is important to confront the issue immediately. If the person is not receptive to changing or understanding how it can be a problem in the future, it might be wise to end the relationship altogether.

“I Can’t Give You the Love That You Need” – What This Really Means and What to Do About It

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In the dating world, there are many ways in which people express that they are not interested in progressing a relationship, looking for anything serious, or perhaps breaking off an existing relationship. A common expression that is often said to express one of the things listed is: “I can’t give you the love that you need.” While no one wants to face reality, it is an indirect way for the person to say that they are not interested–bottom line. If someone really cared about the person, then no matter what their life circumstances were, this person would find a way to make it work because they are INTERESTED. It is important to recognize when someone is not interested, especially when it is spelled out that the best thing to do is to accept it and move on.

In certain situations, it can also mean that the person feels that the other person requires a level of love that is hard to give and they do not feel that they have a way to match the love that they might be receiving in return. It is important to notice here that the person is also NOT choosing to put in the effort that is needed which also signifies that the underlying issue here is that there is no interest.

No matter what the reason is, it is important to take it at face value that the other person does not want to build a romantic relationship in any capacity and to both go separate ways. There is no need to ask the person what this means, beg them back, or try to convince them to stay. It is never worth it. This is actually a blessing when a person says this because there is enough clarity in knowing that it is best to move on altogether. If you are in a position where you feel this way, there is nothing wrong with saying this to someone but I still feel it is better to be more authentic and honest if possible while also being respectful and polite.

10 Ways to Boost Your Attraction Level That Are Unrelated to Your Physical Appearance

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When people think of someone who is attractive, the first thing that often comes to mind is basing their attraction level based on their physicality. While there is no denying that looks are a factor in determining a person’s attraction level, the truth of the matter is, that is not the only factor. That is why when I see a person go through drastic measures to change their looks (ex: plastic surgery), I feel that this person has a false sense of reality in thinking that their looks are everything while also seeing this as a sign of low esteem. I do not want to generalize and say that this applies to all individuals but oftentimes, you will find that these are the underlying internal issues. There is nothing wrong with caring about self care and one’s appearance. When it becomes an issue is when a person has unrealistic expectations and cannot accept both their flaws and assets. As I mentioned previously, there are so many attributes and characteristics that can make someone incredibly attractive that goes past what reflection is seen in the mirror. Although there are probably hundreds to thousands of attributes, I came up with a short list of 10 things that came to mind.

Setting Aspirations and Goals – While most people might not place a ton of emphasis on goal setting, I find people who are goal oriented to be extremely attractive. It is more attractive to me to see someone investing their money and energy into their goals as opposed to their vanity aka their physical appearance. People who like to set goals tend to be self motivated, disciplined, and ambitious which are all extremely desirable and attractive qualities to have.

Possessing Healthy Habits – By possessing healthy habits, that does not just refer to health and exercise habits, it can apply to having any healthy habit that is beneficial to one’s soul and well being such as great sleep habits, work habits, etc. It is attractive to meet people who have good habits in general because they could be a good influence on yourself to develop better habits as well.

Pursuing Your Passions and Hobbies – It is refreshing to meet people who have defined passions and hobbies in life because it makes them more interesting. When people do not have passions, it can make the individual rather boring and unattractive.

Having a Fulfilling Career – I specifically mentioned a “fulfilling” career because this will ensure a higher level of happiness and personal fulfillment which ultimately is more meaningful in the long run. When someone has a career that they love and are good at, that is attractive. Usually with a fulfilling career comes both success and money which are all attractive things associated with a rewarding career path.

Being Genuine and Authentic – Authenticity is attractive because that means that what you see is what you get. The person knows how to be genuine and authentic which also shows that this person does not feel the need to be fake or to act like someone they are not. More people should adapt this quality not only to develop a stronger sense of self but also to enhance their attractiveness.

Reaching Financial Stability and Independence – I did not specifically use the word “rich” because it should not be about how much money someone has but their ability to be responsible with it and have complete financial independence. It is unattractive meeting someone with a significant amount of debt and/or money problems because this shows a lack of discipline and poor money decisions.

Having Similar Interests – As they say, “birds of a feather flock together” which would explain why it might feel natural to find someone with similar interests to be attractive. I believe sharing interests can bring people together whether that is a friendship or a personal relationship which is why having similar interests can be very attractive.

A Great Sense of Humor – There is no doubt that having a good sense of humor can add to one’s attraction level. When someone has the ability to make others laugh, it makes people feel good and happy. This is definitely a positive attribute and one that many people tend to value.

High Emotional Intelligence – While many would say that intelligence is attractive, there are so many different ways to define a person’s intelligence. Although book intelligence is seen as attractive and I am not taking away from this, I would say emotional intelligence is even more attractive. People with a strong emotional intelligence understand a person’s feelings and know how to connect on an emotional level. This is attractive because it’s easier to build a bond with someone who is emotional intelligent.

Believing in Self and Having Confidence – Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a person can possess. The reason being is that self confidence propels people to succeed and progress in life because of their strong belief in their abilities along with setting higher standards because they know they deserve the very best. People with a true inner confidence do not need to strictly rely on their physical appearance in order to feel good about themselves and dig deeper beneath the surface to find things that increase their confidence levels.

My Thoughts on Privacy and Trust Within Relationships

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When it comes to trust, I have always preached that I believe that trust is a choice. In other words, you have control of who to trust as opposed to just equally choosing to trust or not trust someone. At the same time, you also have the choice in which you want to keep your own privacy. It is your right to keep something private if that is what feels most comfortable to you.

Within any relationship, the goal is to form a bond where two people feel they can trust each other while also respecting each other’s privacy when asked for it. It is a form of manipulation if someone guilt trips you into telling them something or doing something out of your comfort zone by saying that you should automatically trust them. It can take some time for someone to be able to trust so it is important to respect that and to have patience. No one should take this too personally because trust is something to be earned. It is okay to inquire about the other person’s reasoning if you are concerned about there being a lack of trust but the best thing to do is to be both receptive accepting of their response as opposed to being reactive, upset, angry, and/or disappointed. A negative response can result in resentment along with more reason to be distrustful.

Also keep in mind that if you are in a situation where you feel the need to overstep boundaries and betray the person’s trust such as going into the other person’s email, text messages, social media, etc. then that means you have very little trust in this person and it might be a good time to reconsider keeping this person in your life. On the other hand, maybe this is a time to dig deep from within to see what would provoke you to do this. Did someone betray your trust in the past? Do you have a problem building trust in general? If it stems from an insecurity or paranoia on your part where the other person did not do anything wrong or signal that something was wrong, then this is something that you might need to work on. I think going behind someone’s back to look through their stuff is a betrayal of trust and it can be expected that any trust that was in place could be at risk of totally being broken and could also create a wall between you and this person. It is understandable to be curious or to question a person’s intentions from time to time but it is much better to approach a person with your trust concerns than going ahead and investigating on your own and betraying someone’s trust in order to provide you security or to confirm any suspicions you might have. Remember that with trust, it is both give and take. In order to receive trust, you must be able to give the other person your trust in return while also taking the right actions to prove that you are a trustworthy individual to begin with.