Category Archives: Relationships

5 Thoughtful Valentine’s Day Gestures That Won’t Break the Bank

2 Replies

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, it is that time of year that people like to express their love and show gratitude towards their partner. Although we know that this should be done on an every day basis as opposed to focusing it only on one day, it is still nice to do something thoughtful for the person to show that you care. Some people like to spend a good amount of money on gifts but sometimes the nicest gifts are not of high monetary value. Here I will share a few thoughtful things you can do to make Valentine’s Day special that does not require overspending.

Make a Card Instead of Buying One – It does not have to be fancy or over the top but I always believe that a hand made card is always more thoughtful than buying one because it is one of a kind and made from the heart. You also do not have to be overly artistic to make one.

Create a Valentine’s Day Playlist – You can create a playlist with love themed songs or choose your partner’s most favorite songs. It can be played on Valentine’s Day but best of all, it can be played at any time.

Invent a “Love Potion #9” Drink – This is actually the name of a movie that came out in the 1990’s but according to mythology, a “love potion” is a drink that one drinks to fall in love. So why not for fun invent your own love potion drink for your partner that you can both enjoy together? It can be a special cocktail of their favorite flavors or maybe a unique fruit punch.

Take Selfies With a Polaroid – Creating and capturing memories are some of the most valuable gifts that you can cherish for years to come. I suggest taking the photos with a polaroid camera as the photos print instantly and then you have copies that you can each keep. If you do not have one, you can still take the photos with your cell phone or a regular digital camera and order prints directly from your phone.

Give a Scrapbook or Memory Box – Take the time to gather some mementos you might have including things such as photos, ticket stubs, business cards and/or brochures of places you went to, souvenirs, etc and put them together in a scrapbook or put them in a box to give to your partner. It is special because it is an accumulation of things that you both shared together and you both can continue to add more mementos over time.

Remember, no matter what you decide to do for Valentine’s Day, as long as you put some thought and add a personal touch to what you do, your Valentine is guaranteed to be very happy! ❤ 🙂

The Hidden Meaning Behind A Person With “Commitment Issues”

3 Replies

As I always like to point out when you are out in the dating world, you have to remember that what someone says is not exactly what they mean. Even if you are bold enough to flat out ask the person where you stand or what their personal situation is, you are still often times going to be left in the dark. Most people communicate in a way that is vague AF and/or simply do not want to lay out their true intentions. The reasons for this could include that the person wants to keep you as a backup option (hate to say it but it can happen), has a busy life where dating is not their top priority, and/or more often than not, the person doesn’t know how to be honest if that involves hurting the the other person’s feelings. I find more women struggle with this than men do.

There might be a time you encounter someone with “commitment issues”–their words of course and not yours. I would say that if the person states commitment issues and follows that with a story in which they have cheated in their past (perhaps on multiple occasions), then that is a justified label and would make sense saying that because I would agree, a pattern of cheating does very well = commitment issues. Another situation a person could have commitment problems is if they have practically a zero dating record. As in, this person has never had a serious relationship or the relationships were all or mostly casual. That is definitely a commitment issue as well.

If the person does not provide a rational explanation behind their commitment issues, I would first and foremost suggest that you keep things moving or just keep the person as a friend rather than a potential romantic love interest because no matter what the true reason is, a commitment issue is NEVER a positive thing and definitely not a sign that you should stick around. If you are just looking for some added clarity, then you just need to read between the lines and dig deep as to what the real underlying issue is. I can easily list a few although it can be something else that is personal to that person or even a combination of the reasons listed below.

Emotional Attachment to Someone Else – There is a very high chance that if a person cannot commit to you, this is due to the fact that they are not over an ex or they already are currently emotionally invested into someone else in their present life.

Stuck in the Past/Fear of Getting Hurt – If the person was left deeply hurt by someone else, then this person might think that every person they meet has the potential to do the same thing so rather than move forward into the future and start fresh, this person is constantly living within their past and unfortunately just stays there.

Wants to Date Around and Not Settle on One Person – Not everyone is at the same stage in life where they want to settle down to one person and start a family. It can take longer for some people and some people want to casually date around before getting too serious with one person only.

Extremely Selective – Chances are, if a person is very selective, their dating history is very limited or non existent because they never find people they want to fully commit to. So the underlying problem is not that they cannot commit, they probably could if they were not so picky when choosing a mate.

Came From a Broken Home and/or Divorced Parents – This is extremely common where you will meet someone who grew up in a single parent household (so they did not see the love between their two parents) or witnessed their parents fighting which lead to a divorce and as a result left a painful imprint on the person’s heart and soul. It could also impact a person in a way where they do not want to commit to anyone because they have never seen what a healthy and happy relationship could look like.

Just Not Into You on a Romantic Level – Most people do not know how to flat out tell someone they are not interested so rather than coming forward with the truth, they will throw any excuse from the book to make it seem like it is not you and it is a problem on their end such as their “commitment issues” and etc. Trust me, when a person is into you, they are not going to shy away from the opportunity to commit to you and will not give you a bogus excuse to prevent the start of a committed relationship with you–bottom line.

I Do Not Believe in Manifesting an Exact Person Into Your Life But You Can Do These Two Things Instead

3 Replies

I never want to tell someone that they cannot do something because truly anything is possible with the right mindset and the Laws of Attraction put into play. However, when it comes to manifesting the right partner or more precisely a specific person, I do not want to say it is impossible but I just do not feel it is realistic or the best approach because you cannot always make someone fall in love with you–especially if they are not in the right place to pursue a relationship or flat out already decided you are not the one for them. It is for this reason why I find it to be wasted spiritual energy to put all your eggs in one basket and keep only one person in your mind whom you want to manifest. It just is not the right way to think because you are limiting yourself by narrowing the scope of your vision to only one person when there could actually be other potential mates who would be an even better mutual match. More consequently, you are putting yourself in a scarcity mindset (Translation: This is the one and only person for me). Remember, we live in a world of abundance. How is it possible that this person is the only person you want to manifest in order to make your life feel complete? I highly doubt that (no offense). So what now? What are other action steps can you take to at the very least manifest the right partner into your life?

Work on Yourself So You Have the Most You Can Offer to the Partner of Your Dreams – People never want to hear this but this actually is the root of the problem. While there are many people who set the bar low (“I will take whoever I can get” mindset) and wonder why they are always unhappy within their personal relationships, there is also a different category of people who think the opposite. In contrast, they hold very high expectations as to who they want to be with but at the end of the day, they do not have much to offer to the other partner. [Think about it, why would a person of high value settle for someone who does not also work on being the very best version of self? Not only is it unrealistic, you just do not see that happen all too often]. In order to really attract the person you want to be with, the reality is, you also need to put in the work and step up your game so that you equally can be the full package not only for yourself first and foremost but to attract someone of the same level. When you focus more on yourself rather than staying in a state of desperation always in need of finding someone, you will be amazed at the results. You will naturally just be more attractive to others without even asking or trying anymore. People will want to date you and you will find that there are actually too many options as opposed to feeling there are never enough.

Be Specific on the Qualities You Are Looking For – If you already have an exact person whom you want to attract, what is it about them that you like? It is better to focus more on these qualities instead of the person you have in mind because chances are, you will eventually find a person who possesses some (maybe even all) of the same qualities even though it was not the original person you had envisioned. If you want to take this step seriously, take a moment to write a list of the qualities that are most important to you in a partner. Realistically, you might not find someone who has every single quality within your personal checklist but it is a good guideline to follow and use as reference when you are dating because you are more focused on what you are looking for. I definitely recommend being very specific on the criteria but do not focus only on a single person. Although it can happen and you can capture the heart of someone you know whom you really like, keep the spiritual door open to the idea that you can find someone like this person instead or perhaps you might find someone completely new in its entirety. Remember, the Universe is an abundant place and anything is possible so keep that mind open to the possibilities!

Never Reward Uncertainty From the Start of Any Relationship – Kindly Keep It Moving Instead

Leave a reply

When it comes to modern dating, I find that most people seek the most advice regarding those early getting-to-know-each-other-stages of the relationship. Two people are “getting to know each other” but there seems to be delays in communication and just straight up confusion regarding the flow of the relationship (or often times the lack thereof). What this spells out to me is: Uncertainty. Let’s throw all emotions aside and think with a rational head right now: Do you want to start a relationship with someone who is there but not really? Here today, gone tomorrow? Leaves you wondering, “Where is this going?” I hope the answer to this is a FIRM NO. Now I know your immediate thought is that I am being harsh and I do not know your personal situation to make that judgment call. Yes, I do not know your personal situation but I have enough information to know that the answer is still no and I am here to explain why.

Time is one of our most precious resources. The way in which we invest our time and in this case, who we invest our time with very much matters. It is for this reason, I do not feel it is right to lead people on and have no problem flat out telling someone I am not interested in anything romantic even if it could hurt someone’s feelings because I know it is the right thing to do for the greater good — I am saving both myself and the other person their time and energy that they could be putting elsewhere. It is for this reason, I fully respect someone who can operate on the same level of transparency and directness. However, as many of us know from experience, most people are very vague with their interactions and might choose to be less direct as a way to guard the other person’s feelings.

If you are dating someone who seems semi interested but it is still left very much uncertain, do not reward uncertainty with your time and attention–kindly just keep it moving. I say kindly because there is no need to guilt trip the other person, constantly contact them to remind them of your existence, or react negatively towards the other person due to a lack of emotional control. This not only conveys dignity and self respect on your end but it also conveys a high level of SELF WORTH. Why? A person who knows they are worth it will surely NOT stick around and wait for the other person to be ready for them. This person recognizes that they have a lot to offer and will save it for someone who is going to value them as much as they value self. Given the option, this person would rather walk away from the situation instead of settling on someone’s uncertainty towards them. If you currently do not have the self love and strength to be this person, make a conscious effort to shift your mindset and over time, it will become more automatic for you to make these decisions while also attracting the right people into your life who will positively enhance yours thanks to the Law of Attraction–(trust me it works but you need to believe me first). 😉

The 5 Love Languages – What They Are and My Overall Thoughts

4 Replies

The concept of the 5 Love Languages has been around for quite some time and I just had to Google it now for the exact year (if you do not feel like clicking on the link, the answer is 1992). I actually never took the time to examine the love languages until more recent years as people have asked me how I felt about them and if I knew what my love language was.

My initial thought when I read what they were was, well aren’t they all important in a meaningful relationship? I mean seriously, they all sound valuable and key components of any strong relationship. However, as I really thought about it more thoroughly, I realized that actually, the love languages can definitely vary from person-to-person with someone prioritizing one love language way over another along with someone else not really caring about a love language in its entirety. Even looking upon my prior dating experiences, I do recall breaking up with someone who I knew greatly cared about me with the reason being, “I just don’t feel the love in which I need it.” I never said, “I’m breaking up because our love languages are not the same.” I did not even know much about the love languages at this time; however, when thinking about it, that was very much the truth and bottom line for the break up: Our love languages did not match.

It is for this reason, I think it is wise to examine the different love languages for both a better understanding of yourself along with better equipping yourself for the dating world when you are in a relationship. I believe taking the time to understand your partner’s love languages can go a long way in terms of the overall success of the relationship. So what are the five love languages?

Words of Affirmation – This love language involves expressing love through words such as compliments, words of appreciation, and verbal support. A person who values this love language will enjoy a hand written card and appreciate a well thought out text message.

Quality Time – A person who loves quality time is someone who cherishes creating memories with their partner and having actual time spent with each other. This can also include quality time spent talking on the phone, doing activities, and having meaningful conversations.

Acts of Service – The expression, “Actions speak louder than words” best applies to someone who chooses acts of service as their love language. They like when a person does something nice for them to show that they care.

Gifts – This love language is about the act of gift giving with more of an emphasis of the meaning and thoughtfulness of the gift more than the monetary value. A person who prizes this likes to receive gifts as it serves as a more visual representation of love.

Physical Touch – People who enjoy physical touch as their love language like physical signs of affection such as cuddling, kissing, hand holding, etc. This can include sex as well. The specific type of physical affection most valued can vary but a person with this love language feels most loved when physical touch is involved.

All in all, I think the theory behind the love languages holds some validity in terms of how couples can express love towards one another; however, I do believe there are many more variables within a relationship to determine its overall longevity and success. For example, you might have two people who share the same exact love languages but if they are not compatible to begin with, it probably will not last over time. I believe sharing the same love languages can be extremely beneficial but that there are many other components within the relationship to further examine.

The Power of Walking Away in a Relationship and Why It Is Often Necessary

7 Replies

I notice many people face situations where they are in what appears to be a one-sided relationship or perhaps a relationship that is on the brink of falling apart. Rather than walking away or giving the other person space, they chase even more which tends to drive the other person even further away. When you feel like you are losing someone, it can be a natural inclination for you to go after the other person and find ways to make it up to them. In certain situations, that might be effective but the majority of the time, there is a better solution: Walk away.

If the other person flat out tells you that they want space, that they are not interested, find ways to ghost you, send messages of uncertainty, or are already dating someone else, I think it goes without saying that you are wasting your time. I recognize that for many, when your ego is on the line and you are already emotionally too invested, this is the last thing you want to hear. You want to believe that there is still hope, that things can change for better if you are patient enough, and with a positive mindset that you have the capacity to win the other person over so that you can live happily ever after. This is where I want you to take a step back, think with a rational mind, and really dig deep to answer some important questions.

Why do you want to invest your energy in someone who has made it clear that they do not feel the same way about you?

Do you truly feel good chasing someone who does not value you in the same way you value them?

Why are you willing to settle for less than you deserve in a relationship?

The underlying issue is not the other person but more so about how you feel about yourself. A person of high self worth is NOT going to wait around for someone who is not investing in them in return. They do not need to be told twice to back off and already kept it moving a long time ago. They also know when to walk away and not come back.

Your initial thought might be, if I walk away, will the person ever come back to me? You should never have to ask this question as you should choose someone who will also choose you in return. If you do have to ask this question, then chances are you already know the answer. The other person most likely will not come back to you if they have moved on or simply are not interested. If this ends up being the case, you need to accept that as the outcome because that is the reality. There is no need to dwell on why or what can be done to change this. Instead, invest your energy in other areas of your life that will provide you a greater return and positively increase your emotional well being.

On the other hand, keep in mind that walking away can also allow for the other person to come back. It gives the other person space and time to reflect on what they want while also providing absence for them to miss you. They might also respect and value you more over time because you are showing that you are not in need of them while also respecting their boundaries. While it can be very difficult to remove someone whom you care about when all you want to do is hear from them and gain their validation, you need to trust the process that if you let them go, let them be the one to come back to you if that is what they truly want as opposed to forcing them to choose you. It is healthy and can be better in the long run in strengthening a relationship by giving each other time apart before ultimately getting back together later in time. However, you might also want to take into consideration, do you really want to be with someone who needs time apart to be away from you in order to be attracted to you and/or want to be with you again in the future? That is something only you could be the one to answer.

Why It Is Essential to Build a Strong Social Circle and 5 Qualities to Look For in People When Creating One

2 Replies

As we experience life, we come across many people we have the opportunity to get to know and we ultimately are in control of whether or not we want them to be a part of our social circle. By social circle, I am referring to friends although it can easily apply to acquaintances as well such as a co worker or someone you met through mutual friends. I have very close knit friends whom I talk to on a regular basis but I also have many acquaintances that I might only connect with a handful of times in a year or over the years but they are people I value as a part of my social circle. It is essential to build a high quality social circle because they do not only serve as people you enjoy spending your free time with but also as a support system if you ever needed advice or insight on a specific area of your life. I also very much believe in the Laws of Attraction which is why it is especially crucial to choose the right people to be a part of your life because it affects the energy you manifest along with how your destiny is going to unfold.

What qualities are important to look for? What specific qualities are most important to you? This list can vary from person-to-person but here are a few key attributes to look for.

Happy for Your Happiness and Success – I find this to be the most important thing to really look for because you want to surround yourself with people who support you and will be your biggest cheerleader when you achieve an accomplishment, reach an important milestone, or experience something extraordinary without a hint of jealousy or negativity.

There For You During Both Good Times and Bad Times – Life is never going to be perfect and it is inevitable that there will be some bumps along the way which is normal and to be expected. The question is, is this person going to be there for you during those bad times? If you need some support, it is important to choose people who are reliable and going to actually be there for you when needed, not just when things are sunshine and rainbows.

Accepts You for Who You Are Without Any Harsh Judgments – It is very easy to judge someone on the surface for something they said or did but rather than judging, one should really take the time to understand the person which in this case is you. You ultimately want people to accept your flaws and perceived mistakes in life rather than looking down upon you or as a lesser person. They take the good with the bad and appreciate you for you.

Adds Value to Your Life (Not Convenience) and Vice Versa – This can be interpreted in many ways but when looking for people who add value to your life, I am not referring to convenience as there is a difference between the two. By value, I am referring to someone you might look up to as a person to emulate, someone you deeply respect, or perhaps someone you think is all-around awesome. In return, you also provide a high level of value and they are not just keeping you around because you add convenience to them in some way.

Takes the Time to Invest in You – Most people you come across will not really care about you (it might sound like a harsh reality–but let’s just be real here). They will be too caught up within their own lives, might have too much going on both professionally and personally, or just do not take the time to get to know you all too well. That is why you need to have a heightened sense of awareness of who is really investing in you while also being super selective in who you allow to get close to you on a connected spiritual level. It goes both ways in which they can make the choice to invest in you but you actually make the final call in terms of the depth of their investment.

Stop Leaving the Door Open for Dead End Relationships – 3 Ways to Keep the Door Shut

3 Replies

I often times come across people who are in relationships that are on and off. One moment, things are great followed by another day they are broken up. Then the next thing you know, they are back together. There are also scenarios where a relationship is not progressing in any way and it just stays stagnate. Two people go through the motions of being in some sort of “relationship” but at the end of the day either one person or maybe even both do not genuinely see a future but keep it going because they have nothing better going on or maybe just cannot handle the idea of being single. Whatever the situation may be, it is clear these are all relationships with the same outcome–a dead end.

These are definitely not ideal relationships to be in and there are ways to avoid them in its entirety with a conscious effort on your part:

Make a List of Your Relationship Goals – It is always recommended to write goals regarding your career and professional life, so why not write a list of goals in regards to your personal life? Within this list, be specific and focus on all the things you want in a relationship. Also more importantly, specify the things you will not tolerate so that it becomes crystal clear when you come across these things, you will not stay in the relationship and it becomes much more automatic to know when to move on permanently.

Set Boundaries When People Try to Come Back – It is inevitable that people will test your limitations and try to walk into your life like nothing happened. It is your responsibility to set the boundaries by either expressing that you do not want to work things out, keeping communication to an absolute minimum, or simply by stating to that person what your actual boundaries are so they do not try to overstep them. Although sometimes it can be uncomfortable, it is healthy to have a direct conversation with the other person because usually the person is not a mind reader and might not know exactly where they stand in your life.

Know When to Apply No Contact – The power of no contact is essential yet many people never apply it because they are too weak or just do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings. As drastic of this may sound, sometimes a no contact approach is the best solution for various reasons. For starters, no contact provides space in your life to attract the right relationship to manifest versus holding onto a dead end relationship which is setting back your current status along with your future. In addition, when something is over, it truly is best to keep it that way rather than constantly revisiting it knowing that the outcome is never going to change for the better or within anyone’s favor.

Focus on the Foundation More Than Feelings for Long Term Relationship Success

Leave a reply

I think we have all been there before at some point within our lives where our heart fills up with butterflies upon entering a new relationship. Your feelings drive the highs of the relationship and you’re on cloud nine 24/7. I believe this is a great start to any relationship but there comes a time where you need to think with your head a little more than your heart in order to get back to reality. The reality is, feelings do fade over time. I can say from personal experience that I have fallen out of love plenty of times within my lifetime. It is the worst reality to experience but quite a common one which explains why most long term relationships do not survive in the long run. So what exactly can be done to prevent this? This is why I emphasize that you cannot get hooked on the feelings you have towards someone–no matter how great the person might make you feel in the present moment or how much you love having them be a part of your life. You really need to examine the relationship by looking many steps ahead (such as seeing if you both have the same life goals along with wanting the same things within the relationship) but more importantly, focus on the foundation of the relationship above anything else.

Now I know you might be wondering, what exactly are the key components that make up the foundation of a strong and stable relationship? This is where you need to do your homework by digging deep from within to figure out what is most important to you. What are your values and beliefs? What are your spending and saving habits? How do you enjoy your free time? How much time do you like to spend with your partner and by yourself? There are many factors to consider when choosing a life partner which is why it is essential to really think about what you care about most and compare them with the person you are dating to see if your priorities are in alignment and determine the level of your compatibility. Many people fail to really find out this information during the dating phase and get too caught up in the moment which ultimately leads to the relationship fizzling over time because there was no emphasis on building a strong foundation from the ground up. If the foundation is there from the start, it is much easier to maintain the relationship while also continuing to grow together over time.

Complacency Kills Attraction – 5 Ways to Prevent This From Happening

Leave a reply

There are many factors as to why a relationship might come to an end but I think a very common one is complacency in which two people do not do put much effort to keep the relationship strong and healthy. With anything in life, what you invest your energy towards is what you will receive in return. I do believe it takes both people to want to make it work. Having one person giving everything while the other person doesn’t do anything will build resentment and ultimately break the foundation of any relationship because 50% (the one person’s effort) is never enough. As the common saying goes, it takes two to tango.

Designate Specific Times to be Together – When two people live very busy lives balancing their careers and families, it is easy for date nights and quality time to go completely out the window. However, if two people make an effort to find designated times a week or within the month to be together, this can definitely keep the connection going while giving both people something to look forward to.

Find Little Ways to Make Someone Happy – People know how to do nice things on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays but why do people have to wait for these milestones to hit in order to express love towards one another? If you take the time to truly understand your partner, it should be rather easy to find ways to make the person happy in the most simplest ways. It does not have to be about how much money is spent, it could be a small gesture like sending lunch to their work for no reason or maybe giving the person a massage after a long work day if that is something they enjoy.

Give Each Other Space to Rebuild Attraction – I know this sounds counterintuitive but there is such a thing as spending too much time with each other. No matter who it is, over time, one if not both people are bound to get bored of each other if too much time is spent together. It is good to still keep some personal space and have individual activities you do without each other so that the actual time you do spend together holds more value.

Make Sacrifices for the Greater Good of the Relationship – Every couple has their differences which can cause problems to arise over time; however, it is important to be the bigger person and make sacrifices for the other person if it is going to bring you both closer in the long run. If this also means finding ways to take turns with each other’s personal preferences such as the types of movies/TV shows you watch, then it is important to do so to allow for both people to feel that their needs are equally being met.

Try New Activities and Discover New Places Together – Variety really is the spice in life and this goes for adding variety in your daily life, especially with your partner. You both might have established some favorite places and activities that you both enjoy together such as a favorite vacation spot but it is always good to expand your horizons by incorporating new things together.