Category Archives: Attraction

Why Playing Hard to Get Does Not Always Work

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Many people have heard of the common advice, “play hard to get” when you like someone as this is supposed to increase the other person’s attraction level. Although I would have to agree that this can be effective because it is human nature to want what you do not have, this approach can often be counterintuitive and have zero impact on whether or not someone is going to develop a romantic interest in you in return. Reason being that attraction is not a one size fits all formula and it is unrealistic to expect this tactic or any single tactic to work on every single person. (If only it was that easy, right?) While there is no denying that playing hard to get might provide short term success and work in certain instances; on the other hand, there are reasons as to why this tactic is unsuccessful.

Emotionally Unavailable – Some people are emotionally unavailable where they have too much going on in their personal lives to even be open and receptive to love. Examples of this can include just getting out of a relationship, having unresolved feelings towards an ex, or already possessing a different love interest (that’s not you) which all confirm emotional unavailability. When someone is in this stage in life, it is apparent there is no need to invest any time and energy because any attraction tactic will be a lost cause in any of these scenarios.

Just Not Interested / Indifferent – If the person feels pretty neutral towards you and indifferent where they do not care whether they hear from you or not, chances are if you are playing hard to get, they are not even going to miss your presence much at all and may not even notice you’re going out of your way to apply this tactic. The same also goes if this person is not interested in you romantically as this person will probably feel more relieved to not hear from you rather than an increased level of attraction.

In a Relationship – It goes without saying that you should not even be approaching someone who is in a serious relationship which would also explain why playing hard to get would not really work because this person is emotionally locked into their significant other and I would also classify this as a situation where someone is in a state of emotional unavailability as mentioned previously. No attraction tactic is going to have an effect if someone is happily taken so again, you should not even be thinking about doing anything about it and find a new love interest.

Too Many Options – When someone has too many options in the love department, while a person might be craving more of the attention from the person not giving it to them, I think this can backfire because if someone is absent for too long, this person can easily be forgotten simply due to a lack of contact or simply think the person is not interested while those who are more persistent with their affection will most likely be noticed than forgotten.

Out of Touch, Out of Time – To expand on my last point, when someone is out of touch for too long (in this case, playing hard to get), eventually time runs out too. Why should someone wait around for someone to give them their time? More specifically, someone who has a strong love for self and a high level of confidence is just not going to tolerate this type of behavior and will move onto to someone who is giving them validation as opposed to someone who is playing hard to get because they recognize that this is an unhealthy way to win their heart.

Final Note: If you are in a situation where you feel that you need to ignore someone, disappear for a certain amount of time, or play games to win anyone’s love and attention then you are choosing the wrong person–bottom line. This is not the way that you should want to start off any relationship because clearly there is not a mutual interest (or interest at all) and even if the other person has an interest but perhaps is trying to apply this tactic on you to win your heart, again–this just is not a healthy way to begin any relationship. It can easily turn into a toxic dynamic where one or both people stay emotionally attached for the wrong reasons.

Remember, it goes both ways: 1) Always love yourself and know that you deserve more than someone who has to use manipulation to try to obtain your attention. Your affection and time should be EARNED once the other person steps up to the plate by taking the time to emotionally invest in getting to know you and consistently spending their quality time with you. 2) You should also avoid playing hard to get because when the right person comes along, you won’t feel the need to pull away or play games–quite the opposite will happen as the relationship will unfold much more naturally and the connection will increase over time by bringing two people together rather than apart.

5 Ways to Improve Your Manifestation Skills

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I would have to say that the practice of manifestation is a life skill and having the ability to manifest the things that you desire most is not something you are necessarily taught in school which is why it is essential you teach yourself how to master manifestation. The good news is that anyone can develop the mindset to attract abundance and create everything you want in your lifetime. I want to make it clear that manifestation is NOT an instant gratification process. If you understand this simple principle then you are on the right path and will never be left feeling defeated or disappointed but instead, more motivated, invigorated, and determined. When one begins to lose hope, that is when the process tends to deteriorate. Weak minds are not meant to manifest great things as it takes a strong and positive mindset to do the internal work. So where do we begin?

Be Extremely Specific As to What You Want – People make very general statements as to what they want such as, “I want a big house, nice car, and lots of money.” These are all requests that are way too general. What exactly does a “big house” mean to you specifically? Such as: how many square feet, location, type of house, amount of land, interior style, etc. It is important to think on a more concrete level and to determine the exact details. Even if some of your requests seem very far fetched and out of reach right now, WHO CARES!?! Ask for it anyhow! As they say, “go big or go home” and shouldn’t we all opt to go BIG when it comes to our own life? Of course it is smart to be realistic but that does not mean that you need to limit yourself as to what you can get only right now–think about what you can obtain in your future.

Create Visuals – Although for some, this might be an optional step as you can visualize the outcome in your mind, I do think having a tangible visual (ex: vision board, visuals in a journal, etc.) is helpful because looking at a visual on a daily basis will allow for the visual to stay in the back of your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is very powerful in that it will not really accept anything that does not match up with what you are trying to manifest. You can print visuals from the internet, find images in magazines, and if you’re artistic and fully capable of making them yourself–then go for it (again, why not? as it is about whatever method works best for you).

* If you do not have actual images of what you are looking to manifest, I consider writing down concrete statements on an index card to be just as effective. It is still tangible where you can read it everyday so this works on its own OR in combination with the visuals.

Believe It Is 100% Possible – It is 100% critical to develop the belief that the outcome is 100% possible. I don’t care if the people around you think it’s impossible or if currently there are factors to hinder you from what you want right now because NOTHING SHOULD STOP YOU! You control your mind which gives you the power to control your destiny! Don’t give people that power and don’t let there be any room for doubt to create a mental road block of preventing you from achieving what is most certainly POSSIBLE and getting in the way of your full POTENTIAL.

Take Action – One can’t just ask for anything from the Universe and then sit back and do absolutely nothing about it. Manifestation is NOT about wanting something and then expecting it to fall onto your lap. That is what I call, “Pie in the sky.” I think that is what deters many people from this whole idea of having the ability to manifest because they have this false belief that it is like a genie in a bottle where you ask for a wish and it just happens. That is why I want to clarify that this is not how it works because asking without doing is going to leave you with a whole lot of nothing but false hope and unfilled desires. Once you make it crystal clear your intent and what you want, you need to actually put in the work to make it happen. It might take an incredible amount of small actions to get to the end goal but any action is better than no action.

Trust the Process – You are where you are meant to be at this present moment in your life. Everyday you are getting a step closer to turning your dreams into realities. Rather than asking, “Am I there yet?” or “Is this ever going to happen?” which insinuate a lack of trust and uncertainty, you need to TRUST THE PROCESS and believe that, “Yes, it is happening” and “I am doing whatever it takes to get what I want” because again, action is required to propel the results. Learn to enjoy the journey rather than question the process because everything you want is in the works! 😉

Control Your Destiny By Making It Happen – One Day At a Time

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I took a photo of this sign this morning created by a high school graduate.

This morning I attended a high school graduation ceremony where I found a ton of handmade signs displayed throughout the campus. While many focused on congratulating the Class of 2021, I could not help but notice a sign that read, “Stop waiting for things to happen, go out and make them happen.” I took a moment to snap a photo of it so I could post it onto my blog because it’s definitely both a powerful and motivating message.

I value that it is a rather straightforward statement and one that anyone can apply to one’s own life. People need to learn to create opportunities and attract positive life experiences by actually going out there and making them happen. If you just sit around and expect opportunities to knock on your door, then the people who actually are going out there to grab them are always going to be the ones who obtain the opportunity before you do.

Every action step you take is always better than no action at all. It is amazing that a collection of actions can add up and really create an impact over time. Never get discouraged by the process and the time it takes to get to the end goal because it is worth it in the long run. Everyone is capable of achieving great things but it is always up to the individual to determine the quality and the quantity. We all can create a bright and beautiful destiny–all it takes is taking the action necessary to make it happen which can be done by taking it one day at a time.

“Don’t Settle For Less Just Because It’s Available”

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The title of this post is actually something I discovered at random on an Instagram caption yesterday and I googled it out of intrigue to see that this is an existing quote in which I wanted to share and reflect upon with my readers. How often have we heard the common expression, “Don’t settle for less than you deserve?” Although I do agree with this and believe we as individuals are the ones determining what we deserve versus what is unacceptable, I actually like this quote even better: “Don’t settle for less just because it’s available.”

The reason why I want to expound on this quote is because it tends to be human nature for people to settle on things simply based on its availability–jobs, relationships, etc. I understand on the one hand that we should accept any opportunities that come our way once they present themselves but what if we every so often turned down what’s available (aka convenient, easy, and perhaps comfortable) to see what else is out there along with striving for something even better? The reason being that availability is NOT ENOUGH! Let’s not settle for something just based on its availability and dig deeper as to what we really want and take the time needed to manifest it.

The key behind manifestation all begins with your mindset–above anything else. It is up to you to keep your mind strong, positive, and focused on what you want to achieve in your lifetime. We all have one life to live, so why can’t it be to our level of extraordinary? Be mindful that the things that are most worth your while are going to require time, patience, discipline, and much more–it is not merely a collection of positive thoughts in your head as there needs to be action to back it up but it certainly is the right start because thoughts do very well become things.

Never lose sight that life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. I will write it again: Life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. If you are aware that this is one of life’s many truths and believe this statement with conviction then you will always attract abundance into your life and not be in a position where settling on availability is your only option. Trust me, we live in a world where there are plenty of options (an infinity actually) 🙂 so keep your mind open to what’s out there–even if that means that it is not available just yet at the present moment because the best is yet to come.

The Pros and Cons of Telling Someone That You Like Them

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When you come across someone who you genuinely like, there comes a time where you might wonder if you should take it a step further and say something to this person or if you are better off not saying a word. Everyone’s dating life is situational, so there truly is not a one size fits all answer to this; however, there are some factors to think about before making a decision on what’s best for your personal situation and to prevent making any hasty decisions.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself first before considering the pros and cons of telling someone that you like them:

– How long have you known this person?
Timing is everything when it comes to building personal relationships. If it is too soon, the other person might not have developed the same feelings towards you or if too much time was taken before saying something, the person might have lost patience and interest with the slow pace of the relationship and already has moved on. Needless to say, timing is definitely a factor.

– How did you meet this person? (From work, school, online, mutual friend, etc.)
The way in which you met this person can influence whether or not it is a wise choice to say something. I say that because if you met this person at your workplace, it might not be worth expressing your interest because the other person might prefer to keep things more professional. If you met online, it might be more acceptable to say something as both of you went on a dating app in hopes of meeting someone and might both have the same desire to start a relationship.

– Do you think this person feels the same way about you?
It can be very tricky to know where you stand in the other person’s mind, whether they view you strictly as a friend, crush, casual fling, or a potential love interest. Although you might not be a mind reader, it is sensible to think about whether or not the other person likes you enough for the relationship to progress. If the feelings are not mutual, you could run the risk of making the current relationship that you have with this person extremely awkward.

After thinking about some crucial details in regards to your situation, we can now discuss the pros and cons in telling someone that you like them. I think it can be a good idea to say something if you have spent enough quality time with the other person for feelings to naturally develop and if you do sense there is even a hint of a mutual interest. The reason being that this way, you don’t waste anyone’s time and can see where the relationship goes. I also do believe that it is healthy to be able to express your emotions in order to stay true to yourself and not have to hold back in any way. If it turns out that the other person does not feel the same and you hold zero emotional attachment to the outcome, then it is also not a bad idea to say something because if you get rejected, at least it is better to know now than to find this out after investing too much time with this person. Even if the outcome is not in your favor, it still is more beneficial to know this information as soon as possible so that you can move on to a more meaningful and fulfilling relationship down the line.

As previously mentioned, the only major con to saying something is that you could get outright rejected; however, rejection does not need to be perceived as such a bad thing as it is a part of life and should be embraced for building inner strength and personal growth. I say that because often times, people need to fail now in order to succeed later. If you are emotionally attached to the outcome and already know that your ego is going to be deeply crushed if the person does not like you in return, then it might be better to not say anything and to continue to just take it one day at a time.

Ideally, if you do not form any emotional attachment to the outcome, then you are not at risk of getting hurt and can move on rather quickly. This is the ultimate goal because then no matter their response, you still have the upper hand in the situation by being in control of your destiny and in knowing that you are totally fine either way! 😉

Why Similar Lifestyles Matter in A Relationship

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Everyone’s lifestyle varies and it is unlikely to meet someone with the exact same lifestyle as you; however, finding someone with a pretty similar one is very important for long term relationship success. It is natural and okay to have differences including different hobbies but when two people live life in ways in which two people cannot easily relate to each other, it is tough to ask for either person to adapt to the other. It is also very easy for the relationship to deteriorate over time as people tend to get resentful or can simply just get tired of each other’s differences.

That is why it is of extreme importance to pay attention to a person’s overall lifestyle from the start of getting to know someone. Although lifestyle can be impacted by one’s career choice, location, and other factors–the way in which a person chooses to live their life is a personal choice that often won’t change. It is good to examine the major components of one’s lifestyle that can include:

– How does this person like to spend their free time?
– How does this person manage their money? Are they more of a spender or a saver?
– What is their idea of a vacation?
– What are their health habits? What does health/fitness mean to them?
– What are their life goals? Are they in alignment with yours?
– Where do they want to live?
– Does this person practice a religion and to what extent?
– How much time is enjoyed being spent alone and with their partner?
– What does intimacy mean to this person?

This is just a general list to go by but keep in mind that there are many other areas that can contribute to one’s lifestyle. Please note that I did not list anything that was trivial such as a person’s favorite pizza topping or sports team as I would categorize that as a personal preference and not so much associated with their lifestyle. Of course as I mentioned, nothing is going to be exact but instead, it is most important to focus on what’s SIMILAR. When two lifestyles are very similar, it allows for two people to continuously grow together while genuinely loving each other’s company even more as they are brought together by their shared interests. There is a reason why they say, “Birds of a feather, flock together” which very much applies here.

Level Up Your Mind and the Rest Falls Into Place

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I truly believe that your destiny starts with your mind and whatever you think about most tends to be what comes into fruition. For example, if you choose to worry a lot about the things that are missing from your life, then you constantly are going to stay in a place of scarcity and face more problems rather than generating solutions. If you focus on the things you want to achieve and have the attitude that everything you desire is within your reach, then you are setting yourself up for success along with putting yourself in receiving mode where attracting abundance into your life is inevitable.

This is why I want to make it clear: Level up your mind and the rest falls into place. By this, I want to express the importance of developing a strong mindset and leveling it up by holding high standards–and actually sticking to them. It is important to note that creating high standards does not make you a stuck up person or any better than someone else. It is just the way in which you control the quality of your life. Everyone should aim to live their best quality of life, whatever this means to you personally. Once you determine the quality, the rest will fall into place because you now possess a concrete standard in your mind and anything that doesn’t meet the bar, you will not settle for. You also begin to focus on what you really do want which propels you to take the action needed to get to your end goal.

At the end of the day, life is too short to live a life of mediocrity. Why should you ever settle? If you level up your mind, you will never have to settle and more good things will continue to be on the horizon (often times when you least expect them 😉 ). Take the time to think on a deeper level what you want most and be committed to these life choices and most importantly–be committed to yourself. The results are on their way, as long as your mind is firmly attached to the desired outcome. So let’s all learn to level up today and everyday!

3 Ways to Leave a Positive Emotional Impact on Others

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I think when you are naturally more driven by emotions and have a higher EI (emotional intelligence), it comes natural to consciously question, “Do I emotionally impact others in a positive way?” If this is something that never really crosses your mind, then it might be time to bring some self awareness on this subject matter–especially if you consider yourself more of thinker type (one who uses their head more than their heart) or you classify yourself as an emotionless individual.

There is nothing wrong with not being a feeler type as I recognize there are many people who are not built to operate in this way. I do not think anyone should have to change their foundation or that it is even a realistic request as our genetics strongly dictate how we are hardwired to function. However, I do believe that in order to improve your personal and professional relationships, be successful in any business and/or career, and just have more positive everyday encounters, paying attention to the emotional impact you leave on others is essential. Taking the time to just be aware of how you treat others is the first major step. Even if you are emotionally clueless and have no idea how to really emotionally impact others in a positive way, there are certain practices that can implemented to increase the likelihood that a person will develop a positive feeling towards you.

Be a Good Listener and Acknowledge What They Say – In order to really develop a connection with someone, it is important to be a good listener because people want to be able to express themselves and feel like they are truly being heard. To take it a step further, not only remember what the person tells you but acknowledge what they say by applying what they tell you. For example, if the person tells you the type of music that they listen to, you can apply this information by then actually listening to their music to show your interest. From there, you can then make music suggestions based on what they tell you that they like. If you try to suggest music that you like but it’s not something they really like, then this is not really acknowledging their personal interests.

Give Meaningful Validation – People generally like to receive validation from others but when genuine and meaningful validation is given, it has a much higher emotional impact on someone than just giving validation for the sake of it. For example, if someone is an athlete, telling the person they are a great athlete might not hold too much meaning to them because this is what they do and they already are aware of their athletic strengths. If you further get to know the person on a deeper level to learn their other positive attributes which aren’t validated all too often and then compliment them on it, this will definitely make you stand out from others who just compliment them on what is obvious to them.

Show Engagement With Your Body Language – When there isn’t a verbal exchange, people will heavily rely on body language as it is very telling and can either positively or negatively rub someone the wrong way. Body language that is more open and inviting such as smiling, making eye contact, and just giving off a general positive vibe will definitely leave a more favorable impression by showing you are open and engaged in them personally. I understand there will be times that you will not want to attract too much attention from strangers but if you are entering a new social environment or workplace where first impressions matter, it might be a good idea to pay closer attention to your body language. When someone is standoffish with their body language such as never smiling, having their arms crossed, socially obvious to their surroundings, or just caught up in their own world, then this will send the message of detachment when this might not necessarily be the case.

Authenticity Can Create Success If You Take the Time to Develop It

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When people think about what qualities are needed to be successful in life, I can think of many words that are associated with success. The first words that come to my mind are hardworking, passionate, determined, disciplined, and proactive. There is no denying that these are effective qualities that will propel someone to advance and achieve many amazing things in a lifetime.

However, I want to share a quality that is often underestimated and not really talked about all too often. I strongly believe that being authentic is a driving force behind becoming a highly successful individual. What exactly is authenticity? I would describe authenticity simply as being true to yourself. One might wonder, well how is “being true to yourself” ever going to provide success? The problem is, most people do not take the time to dig deep and discover what being true to self means to them. In addition, many people are too heavily impacted by society, social media, and the outside world to the point where they go through the motions of life doing what they think they are “supposed to do” or what is expected of them. These same people tend to be too busy looking at what everyone else is doing rather than staying focused on their individual path and living a life of authenticity. For example, society tends to promote professional success to equate to this life equation: Go to college, obtain a degree, find a career, and voila–you can then live happily ever after with financial security and the ability to make lots of money. Let’s be real, this path is NOT for everyone. Did you know that there are plenty of successful people who did NOT go to college or they advanced in something that did not even require a college degree? My point is, life should not be pursued with a ‘one size fits all’ mentality as what works for one person might not be the right path for someone else. It is for this reason that you need to determine what being authentic means to you.

Everyone is born with special gifts and various interests and it is up to you to thoroughly explore them. You would be amazed at what hobbies can actually turn into a business and/or career. Think about the things you most naturally gravitated towards as a young child or adult. Something to also think about: What brings you intrinsic happiness and what do you value most in life? In order to be authentic, you will need to do the work and focus on your own self development. From there, expand on these talents and interests by mastering them and then actually find a way to utilize them. Do not be so concerned on whether or not it will bring you immediate wealth because I do believe that the money will naturally be manifested over time if you just keep doing what you’re doing and put your energy towards being amazing at something that you truly love and care about. Even if society or those around you do not fully support your aspirations, still stay true to yourself as you can always prove them otherwise later (after you become successful that is). 😉

Never Take the First Offer On the Table – Why You Should Be More Selective

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I was recently talking to a friend who had lost a job and she initially was going to take a little bit of time to herself before jumping into a new job; however, she decided to start the job hunting process rather quickly. She ended up landing a job which she was unsure if it really met all of her criteria but accepted the offer anyway. Before she had taken the job, I had advised that she take some time to interview for other positions. Why? I believe it is always wise to have create multiple options before settling on anything. I guess she figured that getting an offer right away is better than no offer and this also would save time from having to set up multiple interviews with other companies. After a few weeks, she said she will keep the new job but will keep her eyes open for a better job. (She decided she wanted a job that was fully remote at this stage of her life for the convenience and enhanced quality of life as opposed to commuting a few days a week). If she had taken the extra time at the start of the job search to to set up more than one interview, she could then choose what would be her very best option rather than settling.

This perfectly exemplifies the importance of being selective and as I like to point out, why you should never take the first offer on the table. I guess I should never say never as there are certain instances in which you might take the first offer when it is a time sensitive issue or something that is chosen on a first come, first serve basis. Of course there are always going to be exceptions but generally speaking, when you are in control of making an important life decision, have options and critically weigh them all out. People often complain that they never have many options to begin with so they just take what they can get. This is a very weak mentality to possess and one that needs to be shifted from scarcity to ABUNDANCE. If you believe you don’t have options, then you will lack the ability to generate them and never really be presented with any. If you switch your mind to believe that you can attract plenty of options, heck–let’s make that UNLIMITED options, then you’d be amazed at what your life will begin to attract and have to offer to you.

When given more than one option, there is nothing wrong with being selective as one should be thoroughly examining each option before impulsively taking the first one or just settling for anything that comes their way. This applies to just about anything from choosing a job, a life partner, place to live, college to attend, etc. Life is all about making the right choices and living your very best possible outcomes. Always keep your options open and take your time when making your final selection as being selective will often work in your favor in the long run.