Author Archives: Make Up the Life You Love

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About Make Up the Life You Love

Hi, my name is Meli and I am the creator of Make Up the Life You Love!

It’s Okay to Miss But Know When to DISMISS – How to Mentally Cope With a Breakup

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I understand that breakups are not always an easy reality to face and it does not matter whether you were the one who broke it off or the one who was let go as it can be a tough adjustment either way. If you were the one who was dumped, I recognize it can be especially sad, painful, and difficult to move on. It is natural to miss the person and want to know what they are up to but at the same time, you need to know when it is time to DISMISS the person (aka let them go completely) in order for you to move forward and open the door to a better future. This can only happen once you have emotionally detached yourself from your past and I am here to tell you that you absolutely can and all it takes is a mental shift in your mindset.

“I can’t believe my ex moved on so fast and I was replaced so easily.” – For starters, there is no need to take things this personally. When you feel good about yourself from within, this is the last thing that should ever cross your mind as you already know that you are of high value. In addition, be happy that your ex found happiness with someone else even if that means that person is not you. It might feel hurtful thinking of them with another person but if you truly care about this person, you should genuinely be rooting for their happiness. (On a slightly different note, you should also not be so fixated on what they are doing and what’s going on in their personal life, stay in your own lane and focus on your personal path to happiness).

“I wish my ex was willing to make things work.” – Listen, you need to think of it as a blessing that you were let go because it is not worth it to be with someone who does not see what you have to offer nor has the desire to be with you. STOP wasting your time! If it didn’t work the first time or however many times you tried, chances are that it never was going to work out again in the long run so stop holding onto a false hope that there is a chance of getting back together. If anything, you should be THANKFUL this person is not stringing you along and broke it off to save YOUR time because time is one of life’s most valuable assets.

“I’m never going to find someone like my ex.” – Are you kidding me? With so many people in this Universe, there’s absolutely no one to date? Yeah right, I don’t think that’s the case at all! Yes, I know that getting back into the dating world can be a process and it is not always easy to find someone to connect with romantically–however, that is not to say that you will never find someone to date again. I would suggest taking some time to enjoy being single first and allow for enough time for you to mentally detach yourself from your ex and then you can try to meet people again. Often times you’ll find that love will find you when you least expect it and when you are spiritually open and ready for it!

Final Note: At the end of the day, people come and go and that’s a part of life. Not everyone who we meet or date is meant to hold a place in our lives for the long haul and that’s totally okay! It is also okay to reminisce and reflect on the positive memories but at the same time, be prepared to fully dismiss this person and begin a new chapter in your life. I don’t know about you but personally, I think it is way more exciting to think about how the next chapter of life is going to unfold as opposed to getting stuck in an old chapter or reliving a chapter that doesn’t provide a positive outcome. Plus, best of all–you are the one creating it so let’s make this next chapter an AMAZING one! 😉

Life Is Too Short to Not LOVE Your Life – What to Do Today to Lead You On the Right Path

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Although life is far from perfection and everyone is going to experience ups and downs throughout the course of their lifetimes, that does not mean that life needs to be spent more in the negative than the positive. Seriously, life is too short to not LOVE your life so rather than settling on mediocrity or living day by day aimlessly, strive to LOVE your life! There are certainly ways to improve your life today and everyday to ensure that you are creating a path of intrinsic happiness and a life you absolutely love living. (Why like your life when you can love it?) 😉 ❤

Know What You Love and Want – Many people don’t think about what they want in life which can often make life lack a sense of direction or have a meaningful purpose. I believe we are all born with unique gifts and passions so it is important to channel into our strengths while also taking the time to pursue the things we enjoy most. By determining what brings joy also helps in providing clarity as to what is desired.

Focus on the Positive – It is incredibly bothersome when you hear people complain about what they don’t have or how their life is miserable when they could actually be investing their energy into being grateful for what they currently do have, setting goals to make life improvements, and possessing a positive mindset. Being positive really goes a long way in life by attracting abundance and creating the things you want most.

Embrace the Good and the Bad – Again, life isn’t perfect and it’s going to throw some curve balls along the way but it is possible to dodge them in its entirety or be prepared in handling them in the best way possible. By that I mean, it is important to understand that sometimes you really need to go through bad times or deal with misfortunes for the greater good which can include learning a valuable lesson or building inner strength. It is easy to embrace all the good things but it’s equally beneficial to embrace the bad because ultimately you are going to rise above it.

Implement the Changes Necessary – Hate your job? Change it! Not happy with your current relationship? Maybe it’s time to change that too! We should never be settling on anything simply for the sake of it. If there is something major (or even minor) bringing your life down in any way, build a game plan to CHANGE it! You have to recognize and be conscious of when it is time to change your life even if that means you need to start over or the change is out of your comfort zone because it is better than staying stagnant or unhappy.

Make It Happen – You are in the driver’s seat of your life and have the power to navigate it anywhere you want to go! So it’s up to you to navigate your life in the direction you want by taking action and actually executing everything that you want as opposed to just thinking or dreaming about it. Go out there and make it happen!

Why Playing Hard to Get Does Not Always Work

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Many people have heard of the common advice, “play hard to get” when you like someone as this is supposed to increase the other person’s attraction level. Although I would have to agree that this can be effective because it is human nature to want what you do not have, this approach can often be counterintuitive and have zero impact on whether or not someone is going to develop a romantic interest in you in return. Reason being that attraction is not a one size fits all formula and it is unrealistic to expect this tactic or any single tactic to work on every single person. (If only it was that easy, right?) While there is no denying that playing hard to get might provide short term success and work in certain instances; on the other hand, there are reasons as to why this tactic is unsuccessful.

Emotionally Unavailable – Some people are emotionally unavailable where they have too much going on in their personal lives to even be open and receptive to love. Examples of this can include just getting out of a relationship, having unresolved feelings towards an ex, or already possessing a different love interest (that’s not you) which all confirm emotional unavailability. When someone is in this stage in life, it is apparent there is no need to invest any time and energy because any attraction tactic will be a lost cause in any of these scenarios.

Just Not Interested / Indifferent – If the person feels pretty neutral towards you and indifferent where they do not care whether they hear from you or not, chances are if you are playing hard to get, they are not even going to miss your presence much at all and may not even notice you’re going out of your way to apply this tactic. The same also goes if this person is not interested in you romantically as this person will probably feel more relieved to not hear from you rather than an increased level of attraction.

In a Relationship – It goes without saying that you should not even be approaching someone who is in a serious relationship which would also explain why playing hard to get would not really work because this person is emotionally locked into their significant other and I would also classify this as a situation where someone is in a state of emotional unavailability as mentioned previously. No attraction tactic is going to have an effect if someone is happily taken so again, you should not even be thinking about doing anything about it and find a new love interest.

Too Many Options – When someone has too many options in the love department, while a person might be craving more of the attention from the person not giving it to them, I think this can backfire because if someone is absent for too long, this person can easily be forgotten simply due to a lack of contact or simply think the person is not interested while those who are more persistent with their affection will most likely be noticed than forgotten.

Out of Touch, Out of Time – To expand on my last point, when someone is out of touch for too long (in this case, playing hard to get), eventually time runs out too. Why should someone wait around for someone to give them their time? More specifically, someone who has a strong love for self and a high level of confidence is just not going to tolerate this type of behavior and will move onto to someone who is giving them validation as opposed to someone who is playing hard to get because they recognize that this is an unhealthy way to win their heart.

Final Note: If you are in a situation where you feel that you need to ignore someone, disappear for a certain amount of time, or play games to win anyone’s love and attention then you are choosing the wrong person–bottom line. This is not the way that you should want to start off any relationship because clearly there is not a mutual interest (or interest at all) and even if the other person has an interest but perhaps is trying to apply this tactic on you to win your heart, again–this just is not a healthy way to begin any relationship. It can easily turn into a toxic dynamic where one or both people stay emotionally attached for the wrong reasons.

Remember, it goes both ways: 1) Always love yourself and know that you deserve more than someone who has to use manipulation to try to obtain your attention. Your affection and time should be EARNED once the other person steps up to the plate by taking the time to emotionally invest in getting to know you and consistently spending their quality time with you. 2) You should also avoid playing hard to get because when the right person comes along, you won’t feel the need to pull away or play games–quite the opposite will happen as the relationship will unfold much more naturally and the connection will increase over time by bringing two people together rather than apart.

5 Ways to Improve Your Manifestation Skills

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I would have to say that the practice of manifestation is a life skill and having the ability to manifest the things that you desire most is not something you are necessarily taught in school which is why it is essential you teach yourself how to master manifestation. The good news is that anyone can develop the mindset to attract abundance and create everything you want in your lifetime. I want to make it clear that manifestation is NOT an instant gratification process. If you understand this simple principle then you are on the right path and will never be left feeling defeated or disappointed but instead, more motivated, invigorated, and determined. When one begins to lose hope, that is when the process tends to deteriorate. Weak minds are not meant to manifest great things as it takes a strong and positive mindset to do the internal work. So where do we begin?

Be Extremely Specific As to What You Want – People make very general statements as to what they want such as, “I want a big house, nice car, and lots of money.” These are all requests that are way too general. What exactly does a “big house” mean to you specifically? Such as: how many square feet, location, type of house, amount of land, interior style, etc. It is important to think on a more concrete level and to determine the exact details. Even if some of your requests seem very far fetched and out of reach right now, WHO CARES!?! Ask for it anyhow! As they say, “go big or go home” and shouldn’t we all opt to go BIG when it comes to our own life? Of course it is smart to be realistic but that does not mean that you need to limit yourself as to what you can get only right now–think about what you can obtain in your future.

Create Visuals – Although for some, this might be an optional step as you can visualize the outcome in your mind, I do think having a tangible visual (ex: vision board, visuals in a journal, etc.) is helpful because looking at a visual on a daily basis will allow for the visual to stay in the back of your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is very powerful in that it will not really accept anything that does not match up with what you are trying to manifest. You can print visuals from the internet, find images in magazines, and if you’re artistic and fully capable of making them yourself–then go for it (again, why not? as it is about whatever method works best for you).

* If you do not have actual images of what you are looking to manifest, I consider writing down concrete statements on an index card to be just as effective. It is still tangible where you can read it everyday so this works on its own OR in combination with the visuals.

Believe It Is 100% Possible – It is 100% critical to develop the belief that the outcome is 100% possible. I don’t care if the people around you think it’s impossible or if currently there are factors to hinder you from what you want right now because NOTHING SHOULD STOP YOU! You control your mind which gives you the power to control your destiny! Don’t give people that power and don’t let there be any room for doubt to create a mental road block of preventing you from achieving what is most certainly POSSIBLE and getting in the way of your full POTENTIAL.

Take Action – One can’t just ask for anything from the Universe and then sit back and do absolutely nothing about it. Manifestation is NOT about wanting something and then expecting it to fall onto your lap. That is what I call, “Pie in the sky.” I think that is what deters many people from this whole idea of having the ability to manifest because they have this false belief that it is like a genie in a bottle where you ask for a wish and it just happens. That is why I want to clarify that this is not how it works because asking without doing is going to leave you with a whole lot of nothing but false hope and unfilled desires. Once you make it crystal clear your intent and what you want, you need to actually put in the work to make it happen. It might take an incredible amount of small actions to get to the end goal but any action is better than no action.

Trust the Process – You are where you are meant to be at this present moment in your life. Everyday you are getting a step closer to turning your dreams into realities. Rather than asking, “Am I there yet?” or “Is this ever going to happen?” which insinuate a lack of trust and uncertainty, you need to TRUST THE PROCESS and believe that, “Yes, it is happening” and “I am doing whatever it takes to get what I want” because again, action is required to propel the results. Learn to enjoy the journey rather than question the process because everything you want is in the works! 😉

Quality Time vs. Money – What’s More Valuable?

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As adults, we spend much of our lives working and developing our careers in order to build wealth and financial security. I am definitely all for working hard and making a lot of money but at the same time, I don’t think money is everything. Yes, money can buy many material goods and is needed to pay the bills but over time, I have discovered that quality time is much more valuable in the long run. Quality time to me means having the luxury to do the things that you enjoy such as pursuing your favorite hobbies and spending time with the people you care about most. The way in which we choose to spend our quality time really is personal to all of us and can also vary throughout the course of our lifetime. (Hey, it is never too late to pick up a new hobby!)

However, I will admit that the catch 22 of the situation is that you sort of need to have financial security (money) to buy you more quality time. By that I mean, in order to have more freedom and time, one must really have the money in the bank to be able to do what you want without having to constantly be working in order to make the money. That is why I cannot stress the importance of striking the right balance between work while also setting up free time for yourself. Working a crazy amount of hours might mean extra money in the bank but if you do not have the free time to enjoy it, is it really worth it? On the other hand, utilizing more of your free time without bringing money in is also not the way to live as it’s an added stress when you cannot make enough money to pay your monthly expenses.

When you’re much younger, sometimes it is necessary to really put in the extra work while you have the energy and are more dependent on working towards financial security which means less quality time to dedicate towards your passions; however, I can tell you from my personal experience, it is actually worth it (later)! That is not to say I was not having fun in my youth, I still think I managed to find a balance but I definitely made many sacrifices in order to comfortably build financial independence which now has paid off in giving me the opportunity to have more free time where I can afford to work less than I did before and allot more free time for myself. Working will always be very important to me as I look at it more for providing me a sense of purpose in which I will continue to be dedicated to my profession; however, I am not in a position where I am working incessantly in order to get by. It is wise to strive towards both financial security AND putting time aside for yourself but it’s good knowing that financial security will often provide you the quality time you deserve. Nowadays, I can take a step back and relax a bit to enjoy more quality time that is separate from my work life thanks to all the times I put in the extra work previously. Often you might find that you need to work harder in the beginning in order to earn quality time in the future. Trust me, it’s worth it! 🙂

This is a photo that was taken of me yesterday on my day off. Quality time is valuable, so let’s all find a way to enjoy it!

Learn To Read the Signs – A Change in Behavioral Patterns Often Dictate the Truth

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When it comes to trying to understand others, people naturally tend to develop patterns that are consistent over time. For example, when you send a text to someone you are close to, you generally have a sense of when they are going to get back to you (rather instantly or perhaps in a few hours) and the way in which they correspond with you. Some people might write a series of short messages whereas someone might take the time to write one long message. The use of emojis is a pattern as well with some people using them frequently, not at all, or every so often. My point is, after getting to know someone, you start to pick up on subtle patterns and know what you can expect from this person.

I generally believe that patterns are a very good thing because they create emotional security and reliability where what you see is what you get. Patterns set up certain standards that you will form about the other person. Personally, I do not have the patience for people who are inconsistent with their communication style and who are rather unpredictable; however this is a pattern that I recognize can be a foundation within one’s personality. Meaning that if this is the way some people are, this is still a part of their pattern of being more spontaneous and unstructured–essentially this is who they are as people. In other words, don’t mistake spontaneity as not being a pattern, it definitely can be classified as one if this person is spontaneous on the regular.

I recommend paying attention to an individual’s behavioral patterns because this can often indicate many things about this person such as their character, personality traits, values, feelings towards you, etc. They are always very telling if you take the time to examine them. When there is a major change in one’s behavioral pattern, you need to keep your eyes open and collect these emotional cues as usually there are more than one (it can be either good or bad) in better understanding the truth. I don’t think there is much room for people to be blindsided by others because if one takes the time to simply notice a shift in behavior, it is actually quite clear the outcome. I’m not saying that it’s impossible to get blindsided, of course there are rare occasions where it can happen but what I am saying is that it can easily be prevented if you are sensing a change in one’s behavior. Sometimes the emotional cues can be very indistinct but they tend to always be there. Unfortunately, I think people’s perception can often blind people from the truth. Perception is NOT always the reality–I once read somewhere that reality is reality. I do agree with this statement. If someone is treating you differently than what you were once used to, take these signs at face value because this is the present reality. I don’t care how things once were, you have to be living in the present moment and not your past. You also cannot ignore the signs and think to yourself, “Oh this is temporary” or “It doesn’t really mean anything is different.” By thinking this way, you will be left blindsided which is why it is important to catch when someone’s patterns change as soon as they begin to happen.

Control Your Destiny By Making It Happen – One Day At a Time

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I took a photo of this sign this morning created by a high school graduate.

This morning I attended a high school graduation ceremony where I found a ton of handmade signs displayed throughout the campus. While many focused on congratulating the Class of 2021, I could not help but notice a sign that read, “Stop waiting for things to happen, go out and make them happen.” I took a moment to snap a photo of it so I could post it onto my blog because it’s definitely both a powerful and motivating message.

I value that it is a rather straightforward statement and one that anyone can apply to one’s own life. People need to learn to create opportunities and attract positive life experiences by actually going out there and making them happen. If you just sit around and expect opportunities to knock on your door, then the people who actually are going out there to grab them are always going to be the ones who obtain the opportunity before you do.

Every action step you take is always better than no action at all. It is amazing that a collection of actions can add up and really create an impact over time. Never get discouraged by the process and the time it takes to get to the end goal because it is worth it in the long run. Everyone is capable of achieving great things but it is always up to the individual to determine the quality and the quantity. We all can create a bright and beautiful destiny–all it takes is taking the action necessary to make it happen which can be done by taking it one day at a time.

“Don’t Settle For Less Just Because It’s Available”

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The title of this post is actually something I discovered at random on an Instagram caption yesterday and I googled it out of intrigue to see that this is an existing quote in which I wanted to share and reflect upon with my readers. How often have we heard the common expression, “Don’t settle for less than you deserve?” Although I do agree with this and believe we as individuals are the ones determining what we deserve versus what is unacceptable, I actually like this quote even better: “Don’t settle for less just because it’s available.”

The reason why I want to expound on this quote is because it tends to be human nature for people to settle on things simply based on its availability–jobs, relationships, etc. I understand on the one hand that we should accept any opportunities that come our way once they present themselves but what if we every so often turned down what’s available (aka convenient, easy, and perhaps comfortable) to see what else is out there along with striving for something even better? The reason being that availability is NOT ENOUGH! Let’s not settle for something just based on its availability and dig deeper as to what we really want and take the time needed to manifest it.

The key behind manifestation all begins with your mindset–above anything else. It is up to you to keep your mind strong, positive, and focused on what you want to achieve in your lifetime. We all have one life to live, so why can’t it be to our level of extraordinary? Be mindful that the things that are most worth your while are going to require time, patience, discipline, and much more–it is not merely a collection of positive thoughts in your head as there needs to be action to back it up but it certainly is the right start because thoughts do very well become things.

Never lose sight that life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. I will write it again: Life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. If you are aware that this is one of life’s many truths and believe this statement with conviction then you will always attract abundance into your life and not be in a position where settling on availability is your only option. Trust me, we live in a world where there are plenty of options (an infinity actually) 🙂 so keep your mind open to what’s out there–even if that means that it is not available just yet at the present moment because the best is yet to come.

The Pros and Cons of Telling Someone That You Like Them

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When you come across someone who you genuinely like, there comes a time where you might wonder if you should take it a step further and say something to this person or if you are better off not saying a word. Everyone’s dating life is situational, so there truly is not a one size fits all answer to this; however, there are some factors to think about before making a decision on what’s best for your personal situation and to prevent making any hasty decisions.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself first before considering the pros and cons of telling someone that you like them:

– How long have you known this person?
Timing is everything when it comes to building personal relationships. If it is too soon, the other person might not have developed the same feelings towards you or if too much time was taken before saying something, the person might have lost patience and interest with the slow pace of the relationship and already has moved on. Needless to say, timing is definitely a factor.

– How did you meet this person? (From work, school, online, mutual friend, etc.)
The way in which you met this person can influence whether or not it is a wise choice to say something. I say that because if you met this person at your workplace, it might not be worth expressing your interest because the other person might prefer to keep things more professional. If you met online, it might be more acceptable to say something as both of you went on a dating app in hopes of meeting someone and might both have the same desire to start a relationship.

– Do you think this person feels the same way about you?
It can be very tricky to know where you stand in the other person’s mind, whether they view you strictly as a friend, crush, casual fling, or a potential love interest. Although you might not be a mind reader, it is sensible to think about whether or not the other person likes you enough for the relationship to progress. If the feelings are not mutual, you could run the risk of making the current relationship that you have with this person extremely awkward.

After thinking about some crucial details in regards to your situation, we can now discuss the pros and cons in telling someone that you like them. I think it can be a good idea to say something if you have spent enough quality time with the other person for feelings to naturally develop and if you do sense there is even a hint of a mutual interest. The reason being that this way, you don’t waste anyone’s time and can see where the relationship goes. I also do believe that it is healthy to be able to express your emotions in order to stay true to yourself and not have to hold back in any way. If it turns out that the other person does not feel the same and you hold zero emotional attachment to the outcome, then it is also not a bad idea to say something because if you get rejected, at least it is better to know now than to find this out after investing too much time with this person. Even if the outcome is not in your favor, it still is more beneficial to know this information as soon as possible so that you can move on to a more meaningful and fulfilling relationship down the line.

As previously mentioned, the only major con to saying something is that you could get outright rejected; however, rejection does not need to be perceived as such a bad thing as it is a part of life and should be embraced for building inner strength and personal growth. I say that because often times, people need to fail now in order to succeed later. If you are emotionally attached to the outcome and already know that your ego is going to be deeply crushed if the person does not like you in return, then it might be better to not say anything and to continue to just take it one day at a time.

Ideally, if you do not form any emotional attachment to the outcome, then you are not at risk of getting hurt and can move on rather quickly. This is the ultimate goal because then no matter their response, you still have the upper hand in the situation by being in control of your destiny and in knowing that you are totally fine either way! 😉

Navigating Negativity – How to Rise Above When People Try to Bring You Down

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It is inevitable that you are going to come across people who are negative by nature or perhaps go out of their way to attempt to bring you down. (Key word: attempt — because these people will never succeed and you will continue to rise above them every time 😉 ). It is important to be mindful when these occurrences happen so that you can handle them in the best ways possible and over time, you can actually prevent these situations from ever happening to begin with.

Remain Positive and Calm – It is always wise to keep your emotions at bay by remaining as cool and calm as possible. There is no need to react agitated, frustrated, annoyed, mad, etc. It is also very important to stay positive to show the other person that you are not bothered by their negativity because if they see that it has no effect, chances are, they won’t continue to bother you.

Do Not Stoop to Their Level – It is very easy to put the other person down in return out of defense or because they started to attack you but there is no need to stoop to their level. It is way more advantageous to NOT be negative in response to the other person as two wrongs don’t make a right.

Hold a Zero Tolerance Policy – By this I mean, do not even take the time to entertain people who say negative things to you or respond to it in any way. When you hold a zero tolerance policy, you won’t put in any thought or energy to what was said and just keep it moving instead. You have way more better things to think about than to engage in someone who has directed any sort of negativity towards you.

Never Take it Personally – It is a sad reality that there are certain people out there who want to put other people down to make themselves feel elevated or better about themselves to compensate for how badly they feel inside. This is their problem and not yours. That is why you should simply never take it personally. You have the choice in how it affects you so make a positive choice by not taking it personally and simply ignoring it.

Avoid These People in its Entirety – The best way to avoid negative energy is to avoid negative people altogether. When choosing friends and people to spend your quality time with, always choose people who are naturally happy and positive individuals who are genuinely going to want to be your biggest supporters. There is no need to keep negative people in your life so make it a point to cut them off completely and only make space for those who impact you in positive ways. At the end of the day, there is an abundance of positivity out there so why surround yourself with negative and miserable people? (You never should have to)!