Tag Archives: money matters

Financial Compatibility Matters – Why You Can’t Be Afraid to Discuss Your Financial Situation with Your Partner

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They say that one of the number one reasons why relationships fail is due to money matters. While many do not want to believe that, I can see how this can happen. It can be stressful enough making and managing your own money. Then factor in your partner’s money habits which can either make your life more stressful or potentially easier. Let’s also forget that money does NOT buy you happiness. Sure, maybe it can make your life easier and there is more financial security but money does not buy a happy relationship. It is for this reason that it is important to recognize that being with someone who has a lot of money does not necessarily guarantee a lifetime of bliss with this person because at the end of the day, you want to find someone who you love unconditionally–with or without a big bank account. There is also a reason that there is the saying, “more money, more problems.” When someone is rich, with that comes more financial responsibilities and also the risk of mismanaging their wealth which could mean being in a ton of debt later in life. On the opposite extreme, being with someone who is a broke bum can understandably bring upon added stress to your life. It can also be an extremely sensitive subject to discuss because you do not want this person to feel even worse about their financial situation. So is it important to still talk about finances and is there a safe way to approach it appropriately?

The short answer is: YES, of course it is important to talk about money in your personal relationships! I can understand why people do not want to because you may feel that it is not your right to know but if you eventually plan to buy a home together, pay joint bills, and essentially merge your adult lives together–then having some money conversations are absolutely needed if you want to build a strong financial foundation together and to ensure you both see eye-to-eye when it comes to money. So often, you see one person who is a great saver and then someone who cannot save a dollar if their life depended on it. This can cause a lot of arguments and tension if you have two people who simply do not agree on how their money is spent. Looking at it from both points of view, does the saver want the spender to spend all their money? Does the spender want to feel deprived and that the saver is constantly controlling their money? These are things that couples really need to think about. From personal experience, I have dated people who were bad with their money and did not know how to save. Over time, it got very annoying and although that was never the definitive reason as to why I would break up the relationship, this was something that was always a consideration because I did not want to be with someone who had zero discipline when it came to saving their money and did not prioritize their financial future.

There are a few safe ways to approach the subject without necessarily bringing it up directly right away. For starters, observe your partner’s behaviors when it comes to money. Is this person very frugal when they order food from a restaurant or does this person like to order everything from the menu? What are things that this person likes to spend money on–is it a daily coffee, vacations, material goods, and/or spending categories? Does this person talk about money goals such as paying off their student debt, saving up for enough money for a house, etc.? There are many things you can observe without asking.

As time goes by within your relationship and you get to know each other better, it is okay to open up the conversation and to talk about each other’s personal finances. It is better to be open and upfront than for it to be a guessing game or to feel like you can’t talk about these things. People should not be afraid to be open and honest, even when it comes to their financial situation. It will either bring two people closer together or further apart. If it does end up being a conflict within the relationship, it is much better to know now and to break it off rather than to stay and then find out when it is too late that the two of you are not financially compatible.

My Thoughts on Inflation and What Can Be Done About It

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It is no secret that inflation is at an all time high right now. It is said that the rate of inflation has not been this high in about 40 years. While there are many contributing factors such as the pandemic, supply chain shortages within many industries, the war in Ukraine which affects the global economy, and many other things that are not within our control–there is something that we can all do to control the situation. The answer is: ADAPT. While I know on the surface, that might come off as ignorant because not everyone is in a good place in life or have the financial means to simply “adapt” but what I want to address is the point that we as individuals have to take life as it comes. People are so quick to complain about exterior things or to blame the outside world for the problems that we face or how we are impacted on a personal level. While I admit that I by no means am in favor of inflation, I do not let it get the best of me and you won’t hear me make an issue of it. Why? For one, in the grand scheme of things, it is the least of my concerns in that I choose to put my mental focus on the positive things in life and what I am most grateful for. Internally, we all have control on how we react to situations and it is best to not let the outside world bring our lives down. I know that might not seem easy at times but it is something that we all can consciously get better at. As I mentioned previously, it is all about how we choose to adapt to situations.

Although I am not a science person whatsoever, I do want to point out the basic principle that what goes up must come down. While this explains gravity, this concept actually applies to so many things in life! Inflation is inevitable but the high elevation rate in which we are experiencing right now is only temporary and is not sustainable. Eventually prices on certain things such as gas and real estate will eventually have to drop in price. People have to learn to stay positive and hang in there during these uncertain times because things are bound to level out over time.

If you are someone who is having a tough time keeping up with the rate of inflation as far as your finances are concerned, my advice is to take this as a time to level up your life. That might mean putting in more hours of work a week, picking up a second job, finding an extra source of income, or cutting back in certain areas of your life if it comes down to that. It is easy to blame inflation for not being able to keep up with daily expenses but I look at it that the underlying issue in this situation is SELF and not inflation. In other words, the money issues probably existed before inflation so rather than declaring that as the problem, it is better to take a deeper examination of self and find ways to develop better spending habits and finding ways to make more money so that you can live a more comfortable lifestyle that does not leave you struggling during these times of uncertainty. It is essential to both save and invest your money not only for a brighter future but also when unexpected emergencies arise such as situations like this where having extra funds as backup is incredibly beneficial.