Category Archives: Goals

How Long Should You Be in a Relationship Before Getting Engaged?

Leave a reply

Have you ever wondered or had a set time in your mind as to when would be a good time frame to get engaged? The truth of the matter is, there is no one size fits all answer to this because it really depends on many factors. For example, if you have a couple who’s 20 years old, they both might want more time to enjoy life and not rush into a marriage whereas if you have a couple who’s 40 years old, they might be ready to get engaged sooner than later. Everything in life is about being in the right place at the right time and there is no one greater at determining that than YOU. It is up to you to figure out what you want and what’s best for you. That is why it is a good idea to have a general idea of how long you would want to date someone before taking the next step and getting engaged.

Personally, I have always believed that an engagement should happen between 1-2 years. The reason being is that I believe that it takes about a year to really get to know someone. I had been in many relationships where the other person put their best foot forward in the early stages of the courtship to essentially impress me but then eventually their true colors came out later. That is why it is best to invest time into any relationship and to not push for an engagement too soon despite how strongly you might feel for this person. Also keep in mind that if you are dating someone who is ready to get engaged rather quickly, while that might feel good inside up to a point–on the flip side, you need to ask yourself if there is a reason the person is very eager to get married to you. In other words, is it really love or is there an ulterior motive? The road to marriage is a serious life decision that should never be taken too lightly so always proceed with patience and caution.

If you have been in a relationship for a long time and feel that your partner is never going to want to get engaged, you need to decide if this is something that you can accept or not. If the answer is that this is something you cannot deal with, then it is wise to move on. As hard as it is to end a good relationship that you invested a lot of time in, you have to remember that it is never too late to start over in life and trust that the Universe will provide you a partner who has the same life goals as you. I never recommend forcing someone to propose or to create an ultimatum because then this person might just comply to fulfill with your needs but not necessarily is getting engaged to you from the right place in their heart. People need to be more in tune with their desires and have a deep trust with the Universe in order to manifest their dreams into realities. If your dream is to get married to a life partner who equally cannot wait to start their life with you, then it should be a very easy decision to end relationships that you know are not on the same timeline as yours with little guilt and remorse. Do not get discouraged with how long it could take to find your future life partner and know that this person exists and is as interested in being with you as you are! 

How to Live Happily Married For a Lifetime

Leave a reply

While there is about a fifty percent chance that a marriage could lead to divorce, there are still many people who want to get married at some point in their lifetime. Are there ways to ensure that a marriage can last forever? Absolutely! Despite marriage statistics not being so good, that should never evoke fear or deter anyone from wanting to get married because there are definitely ways to make sure that you build a marriage that is everlasting and filled with happiness. While there are many factors involved and every marriage is unique–here are a few ways to set yourself up for a marriage that will last forever.

Find Your Best Possible Match – One of the biggest life decisions you will ever make is not only getting married but actually CHOOSING your best possible match. Personally, I had a few opportunities where I could have gotten married but being that I see marriage as a serious decision, I did not want to settle on any partner. It is okay to walk away from a relationship if you do not see it leading to a happy and fulfilling marriage. That is why it is important to really dig deep as to what you want in both a future spouse and a marriage. You need to examine if this person has the qualities that you value along with having life goals and desires that are in close alignment to yours. Do not be afraid of being too selective! You are always better off being selective than just settling on any person who wants to marry you or feel the pressure that is the next step within your relationship. If in your heart, you do not see this person in your future, then you need to break off the relationship and trust that the Universe will be bringing you the right match when you are spiritually ready to attract this into your life.

Make Sure the Feelings are MUTUAL – This is a common mistake that I see in many relationships. You might have one person who is devoted and loves their partner whereas the other person is not as interested. This is a major issue and often an issue that does not change for the better. If one person is not as interested, there is a good chance that this person will ultimately end the relationship at some point because they were settling or never too invested to begin with. It is important to recognize that you cannot love someone into falling more in love with you. Meaning that you can do everything to show your love for this person but if the person is not really in love with you, then that will never change. If you recognize that you are with a partner who has the potential of leaving you due to their lack of commitment or interest, you are always better off breaking it off before it leads to marriage because you deserve to be with someone who loves you as much as you love them in return.

Communication is EVERYTHING – It is essential that you make communication a priority in your marriage. This means being able to express how you feel and being as authentic to one another as possible. People tend to assume that their spouse is a mind reader and should have the ability to read their emotions and know how to treat them. This is often not the case! The only way that your spouse can understand you better is to actually communicate with them. This not only strengthens your bond to one another but allows for two people to really learn about each other on a deeper level.

Learn to Make Sacrifices for the Greater Good of the Marriage – Every successful marriage requires a good balance of give and take. When you have one person who is constantly taking and not making the personal sacrifices needed to make their partner happy, this is where you can see built up resentment and a chance for the relationship to deteriorate all together. It is a reality that you are not always going to get your way which is why it is important to understand when to compromise. If making certain sacrifices means making your spouse happy, then you should know it is worth it! As I mentioned, remember that it goes both ways meaning that your spouse should also make compromises to make you happy as well.

Divorce is Not an Option Mentality – When times get tough within a marriage, it is very easy to want to file for divorce and to end it in its entirety. In certain extreme scenarios where there is abuse, neglect, and/or other major problems arise, I would have to agree getting a divorce is necessary. In most common circumstances though, most problems within a marriage could be fixed or improved given that both parties strive to work things out and have the belief that divorce is never an option. If two people have this mentality, then the thought of divorce would never cross either person’s minds. It is important to think positively and to come to solutions together–no matter what.

Reevaluating the “American Dream” – What Are YOUR Dreams?

Leave a reply

Many people have the desire to fulfill the “American dream” which might include buying a house with a white picket fence and finding a career path that guarantees a lot of money. It could also include being married with a family. We live in a world where we feel the need to conform to societal norms and with social media platforms of people living their best lives at all times. The reality is, life is not designed to be perfect and the societal expectations of how life should be might not be everyone’s destiny–and there is nothing wrong with that! It is important to recognize that we should not feel the need to be doing what everyone else appears to be doing and evaluate our own dreams. Your dreams might not entail going to college or getting married or owning a house. If your dreams are to have these things, also remember that it could take many years for your dreams to manifest into realities. This requires a good amount of patience on your part along with a deep mental focus and a high level of trust that you have a bright future ahead of you. Everything truly does start with your mental state so keep it a positive one!

What are your dreams? – It is essential to really think about what you want from your life and to establish what your desires are. The more defined and concrete that your dreams are, the more likely it is that you will find the path to achieve them. I recommend not only to think about them but to write them on paper or on an index card. While some might think this is a waste of time, this extra step can make a big difference by keeping you accountable, focused, and serious about what you want to accomplish. Even if your dreams seem out of reach at the present moment, you should write them down anyway! As I mentioned previously, your dreams might not even be in alignment with the “American dream” but at the end of the day, you need to live your life authentically and be as true to yourself as possible if you want to be happy and feel fulfilled. You have one life to live and it is up to you to determine what makes it meaningful and manifest your own dreams.

Mortgage or Marriage First? – My Thoughts on Living Together Before or After Marriage

Leave a reply

Back in the day, most couples would wait to get married before they would move in together. Fast forward to the modern world that we live in and you will find that many couples choose to buy or rent a place together before getting married. There are also couples who decide to live together with no intention of getting married. Is there one option that is better than the other? The best answer to this is to really take a deep dive and examine what your personal life goals are along with your personal values. I say “personal” because it is important to really have your own set of individual goals and values to help you determine exactly what you are looking for. Then you can proactively seek a partner who has goals and values that are closely aligned with your own. If you don’t think about what you truly want, it is easy to fall into a relationship where the other person controls yours or you make too many personal sacrifices just to do whatever it takes to please your partner which is never a healthy dynamic.

For me personally, I was brought up with the old school way of thinking that it is better to get married first and then live together. Mind you, I was also raised to think for myself and make my own independent decisions–even if that could drastically be different from my parents. In other words, although I was raised with this way of thinking, I happen to also agree with it despite the social shift that has happened in recent years. Personally, I believe if marriage is one of your end goals, that it is better to wait until marriage before living together. One of the reasons is that it gives you something really great to look forward to as a couple if you choose to wait. If you live together first and then get married, there really isn’t too much of a change because you have already experienced living together. To me, getting the privilege to live together should come with marriage and not be something taken lightly. In the past, I had serious relationships where my partner would talk about wanting to live together. I find it rather insulting to talk about living together before talking about marriage. Even if that is not the intent, that is how I felt because of my strong personal value of cherishing marriage before cohabitation. So my answer was always a firm NO. Many people want all the perks of living together without marriage which means cheaper living expenses and taking up more of your time. However, why would you essentially give that privilege to someone without the commitment of marriage? Essentially as the idiom goes, why buy the milk if you can have the cow for free? That is why I believe in being patient and waiting for marriage before even talking about living together with anyone. If someone is that eager to live with you, this person should be just as eager to marry you if that is something that this person is also looking to manifest in their future.

If marriage is something that you do not care about and you are looking for a companion to live with and/or trying to keep your living costs down then I would say that there is nothing wrong with making this choice. There is nothing wrong with not wanting marriage and I would encourage those who feel this way to never feel pressured to get married against their will as this would only result in resentment and potentially a divorce later in life. If saving money is a huge priority and you would prefer to save money living together before marriage, then as I mentioned, this is okay as well. That is why I emphasize that you need to have concrete goals and values which will ultimately guide you in making the best life decisions for both you and your partner.

3 Ways to Avoid Living Paycheck to Paycheck

Leave a reply

It is hard escaping news headlines that a higher percentage of people are living paycheck to paycheck, even people who have a high annual salary. There are many contributing factors that are causing this including the rate in which inflation has increased over the past year. Aside from that, when people make more money, they also tend to spend more because they feel they deserve it or that they are comfortable enough to spend more while saving at the same time. No matter how much money you are making, it is essential to make money management a top priority. This will allow for yourself to be in a better financial position in the long run and ensure that you won’t be living paycheck to paycheck. Like most things in life, it is never too late to start and develop the right habits to get you on the right financial track.

Set Up Automatic Payments Into Your Savings Account – Whatever amount you can comfortably afford, determine a set amount that will automatically get deducted once a week and then you do not touch the money. This is a quick way to build savings without really thinking about it. If you are more disciplined, you can manually put the money into your savings every week and change up the amounts as needed depending on how much extra that you have left over. Every dollar counts so any little bit that you can put towards your savings is better than nothing!

Reduce Consumption and Eliminate Non-essentials – I recently wrote about how reducing consumption is a great way to save money. This could really range from anything from using less energy/gas to eating less at a restaurant so you have a second meal to take home at a later time. There are so many ways in which you could reduce what you consume each day. It is also smart to examine your monthly subscriptions and other services/products that you currently have and then eliminate the ones that you do not really need. Do you pay for cable or a gym membership that you never use? Then this might be the time to cancel these services altogether so that you can allocate the money into your savings and/or investments.

Track Every Dollar That You Spend – If you follow my blog, you probably have read me talk about this consistently but it is important to track your expenses everyday. This helps you stay accountable with your financial decisions and can also serve as a tool for analyzing your money habits. Did you notice that you spent more money on non-essentials last month? Then you can strive to reduce your spending the following month. The only way you can truly track this is by actually taking the time to record all your expenses in order to stay focused both on spending less while maximizing your daily savings. If you can do both of these things at the same time then you will find that you will not be living paycheck to paycheck anymore.

Complaining Is Often Unnecessary – Here Are 3 Alternatives

Leave a reply

I would say that one of my biggest pet peeves are people who complain too much. The irony of me writing about this topic is that I am being a hypocrite by complaining about complainers (lol) but I am just stating the fact that there is nothing really positive about complaining. It is okay to vent from time to time and this is natural; however, when complaining becomes an excessive everyday habit, I would suggest being aware of the issue and making a conscious effort to find ways to reduce it or break the habit altogether. The good news is, there are many highly effective alternatives that you can apply and here is a good list to start with.

Focus on The Good – There is Always a Silver Lining – No matter how bad things appear to be, I honestly believe that it can’t be as bad as you think as things could always be so much worse. If you adopt this perspective, you will never feel the need to complain. At the present moment, you might be thinking, “ugh this is awful” but in reality, it’s not that bad after all. At the end of the day, you are going to be just fine. 😉

Learn to Adapt – It is important to develop coping skills and being able to roll with the punches when things don’t seem to go your way. There really is no need to complain if things are out of your control which is why it is much more beneficial to find ways to adapt. Learn to keep your mind positive despite the adversity or hardship you are experiencing. It is better to keep a peaceful and happy state of mind no matter what is happening. Usually whatever it is that is bothering you will pass over time.

If You are That Unhappy Then It Is Time to Make Some Life Changes – People tend to complain about things that are easily within their control and can be changed for the better. For example, are you unhappy about your job? If so, then it’s time to think of getting a new one or finding a new profession altogether. There are so many things that people complain about that could be prevented simply by making the changes that are needed to make life a much happier one! Sometimes change is scary and it can make you feel uneasy when you are out of your comfort zone but without taking the risks, you won’t reap the rewards. That is why I recommend striving to make changes in your life for the better because then you will not feel the need to complain about life as much.

Navigating Expectations Within Relationships – Why It Is Important to Find a Healthy Balance

Leave a reply

When it comes to expectations, I find that people tend to either set them too high or too low. It is definitely good to set expectations in general as opposed to not setting them at all but there is such a thing as setting expectations that are too high. When it comes to personal relationships, it is important to make a conscious effort in finding a healthy balance with your expectations. It is natural to place high expectations on a new relationship or when you meet someone new whom you really like. While you might have a mental checklist of exactly what you are looking for in a mate, the reality is, no one is perfect and no one is going to fit every single item on your checklist. That is why I emphasize that the key is BALANCE when navigating your expectations or otherwise you are always going to be left unhappy–no matter who you’re with.

I recommend taking the time to develop a realistic list of expectations of what matters to you most but to also keep your mind open to other people’s differences. While it is great being able to find a person with many similarities, sometimes contrasting traits will enhance the relationship and still ensure that there is compatibility because they will compliment each other. A common example of this is if someone is more extroverted, this person will tend to connect better with someone who is more introverted. When developing any healthy relationship, it is essential to have the capacity of adapting to others while also being flexible. As I mentioned previously, being too rigid and/or setting your expectations too high will typically result in major disappointment and unhappiness which all could have been avoided.

If you do find that you are dating someone who doesn’t meet any of your expectations–in other words, this person has more negative qualities than positive qualities, then you have every right to want to cut your losses and move on. There is no point in settling with being someone who does not live up to any of your expectations and mislead the other person into thinking that you are invested in the relationship when you already know ultimately that you are not interested due to unmet expectations.

Always Make Moves In Life – You Can Change the Direction Later

Leave a reply

As you navigate through life, it is best to always be making moves and taking action as opposed to doing nothing or staying stagnant. If you stay comfortable and complacent all the time, you will find that your life is not only unfulfilling (perhaps boring) and that you aren’t going anywhere. Who wants to stay in the same place all the time? I understand that many people feel a higher level of security staying within their comfort zone but there isn’t much spiritual growth and it is during the times that you challenge yourself and try something new that you are actually elevating yourself in the long run.

Even if you made a life decision that did not go as planned, at least you can say that you tried and you can always change the direction later. In life, you sometimes have to take a few detours before getting on the right track of your life. As I have pointed out previously, sometimes a setback is a set up for something even better in your future. So don’t be afraid to take chances and try new things! I promise that you will never regret it! 😉

3 Ways to Build Wealth Through Your Mindset

Leave a reply

Whether you want to believe it or not, your MINDSET is your strongest asset in helping you manifest your desires and reach all your lifetime goals. For many people, building wealth is on the top of the list but many people do not know where to start. Time and time again, as I just pointed out from the very beginning–it all begins with your mindset. It is your choice in how you develop your thoughts, so why not think with intention and develop a stronger mindset? The good thing is, it is never too late to develop a positive mindset in regards to how you view money and navigate your financial future.

Believe in Your Money Making Potential – For me personally, making money has always come very easily. Mind you, I have always worked very hard to ensure that I make enough money to be financially independent while also saving for my future. My earning potential has always been abundant not solely due to my deep desire to build wealth but also because I strongly believe that I have the capacity to generate a ton of money. This belief propels me to take the action that is needed to manifest and make it happen. I don’t sit around and wait for the money to fall from the sky because I recognize that the process does not work that way. Maybe for some people, they are not in a position where they need to work or they have someone who can totally provide for them. While this might appear nice on the surface, it goes against my core belief that I am a money making machine. Hence I have never been one to rely on others for money and have always found ways to make a good living where I have enough money for daily expenses and where I can still put money aside for the future. This goes to show that anyone can do it given they have the right mindset.

Understand that Building Wealth Is a Gradual Process – Everyone is looking for a get rich quick money strategy or wants to be rich right now but realistically, most people who have accumulated a substantial amount of wealth will tell you that it was not an overnight process. It is more about how consistent you are with your money habits and setting long term goals which will ultimately lead to a good amount of money. Besides saving money, it is important to invest your money so that it continues to grow and accumulate over time. It is okay if you are starting small or with essentially nothing, as long as you stay on a good path to wealth with the mindset that you are going to continue to keep building wealth throughout your lifetime by your everyday money habits.

Be Willing to Make Sacrifices for the Greater Good of Your Financial Future – I recognize that saving and investing money might not be as exciting as spending it right now but it is ESSENTIAL to get into the habit of holding onto more money than you are taking home. This is a necessity not only for building long term wealth but this habit will allow for you to become financially stable and prevent you from taking on any unnecessary debts. There will always be temptations in your life from having the fanciest car to having designer clothes to wanting to eat at the nicest restaurants or whatever you want to spend your hard earned money on to provide you instant gratification but you need to shift your mindset to believe that you don’t need these things and prioritize your future above anything else while just focusing on your basic necessities as much as you can. That is not to say that you are not allowed to treat yourself from time to time but rather to not let instant gratification be the driving force of your spending decisions. It is better to make financial sacrifices now for the greater good of your abundant future that lies ahead.

How Important Is It to Date Someone With the Same Health Habits As You?

Leave a reply

When it comes to health and wellness, some people definitely prioritize their health more than others while some people do not care about their health whatsoever. While I do think it is very difficult to find someone who totally shares the same views and habits in regards to their health, it is definitely possible to find someone who has a similar lifestyle. The question is, how much does this matter in a relationship?

I would compare health and fitness to religion, where it is something that could matter significantly and when there are contrasting views, it can cause some conflicts and tension over time. If you have someone who is very health conscious, this person can grow very resentful over time if their partner is not and can feel like they are a burden by their poor health decisions. The person who is less healthy can also grow resentful of their partner if they feel that their healthier partner cannot accept them for themselves and that their significant other is trying to change them to become more healthy. I can see how both parties could get frustrated at each other for different reasons. I think the underlying issue here is a lack of ACCEPTANCE and/or unrealistic expectations. When two people love each other, they should find a way to accept each other which means accepting the good and the bad traits. If two people learn to accept each other, then this would never become a major issue in a relationship. While I also believe that setting expectations in a relationship can be a positive thing, it is not positive if you set an unrealistic expectation to change someone who most likely will not change their habits. The only way a change can be made is if the person intrinsically wants to change and not trying to change because the other person is pushing them to.

At the same time, if you detect early on within a relationship that a person does not have the same views and/or habits as you when it comes to health and this is something that is extremely important to you, I advise it is best to move on and to look for someone who can be on the same page as you. It is better to break it off and find a partner who is in alignment with your lifestyle as opposed to trying to change the person because as I mentioned previously, the person most likely will not change. You will be much happier in the long run and feel closer to your partner when you are with someone who has very similar health habits as you–given that is a high priority in your life.