Category Archives: Positivity

Why Self Love is Always More Valuable Than Social Validation

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We live in a world today that is often measured by the amount of “likes” and followers we receive on social media platforms. It is hard to always know the motive behind why people post what they do but I would like to genuinely believe there are people who like to post things on their social media to stay connected, share interesting aspects of their lives, promote good causes, relate to others, and/or create a positive digital space for others to be a part of. However, there is no denying that many people post things to receive validation from others to feel better about themselves. I want to start off by saying, there is absolutely nothing wrong with receiving validation and obtaining positive feedback from others. I believe that people should be putting more good energy into the world so if that means loving a photo or posting a nice comment, I am all for that. However, I am NOT for people heavily relying on social validation to determine their self worth, feel accepted by others, and/or as their main source of self confidence.

Rather than focus on who’s liking what on social media or the amount of little hearts that are received on a post, everyone should take the time to really dig deep and examine what creates one’s own sense of inner happiness and how to generate self love. At the end of the day, you will always have YOU–and that’s what counts most. You do not need to rely on the validation of others when you love yourself. There is no need to obsess over what others are thinking about you all the time because who cares what they think? The focus should be on building yourself up on your very own and not seeking people to constantly validate you in order to feel good, important, or of value. Do not let social media or anyone determine your self worth. Do not fall into a habit of short changing yourself as you need to focus on elevating yourself with self love above anything else. You have to remember–you are your biggest asset. (When you love yourself, that’s a given)!

Change Your Narrative to Change the Outcome – How to Shift a Negative Narrative Into a Positive One

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Life is very much about achieving your best possible outcome, typically within the most dominant areas of your life such as your career, relationships, health, and financial future. What you might not think much about is how you control your personal narrative which ultimately impacts the overall outcome. Which leads me to the question: Are you consciously aware of how you are setting up your life path?

Sometimes you will come across someone (or perhaps this might describe you) who hold onto such a heavy amount of negativity which sadly deteriorates the narrative. What’s the outcome? As one could predict, not a positive one.

“I never went to college, so I will never be successful.”

“I have a learning disability, so I already am at a disadvantage in life.”

“I’m not physically attractive, nobody wants to be with me.”

“I am too old now, I am not desirable enough to get married.”

“I can barely pay my bills, I will never be able to purchase a house.”

It is normal from time to time to go through moments of doubt; however, this should never be the primary focus in your mind and determine the final destination within your life. So let’s change the narrative a bit…

“I don’t need to go to college to be a successful individual. I have other skills and talents that will guarantee me happiness, wealth, AND success.”

“A learning disability does not define who I am nor limit what life has to offer me. I can achieve what I want like anyone else can.”

“I love my self image and am physically attractive to the people who know a good thing when they see it.”

“Age does not dictate when I find love or when marriage is right for me. I am destined to get married to the love of my life in my future.”

“Each and every day, I am working towards buying my dream house.”

Do you see the radical difference? It is amazing what a simple shift can do to uplift your spirits and get you on the right track. Of course there are going to be instances in life where you might project a positive mindset and narrative in how you want your life to pan out and it does not go as planned. This is not an excuse for you to give up or cloud your mind with negative thoughts so do not ever allow this to be an option!

In order to make the positive change on your personal narrative, here are some things to consider:

– Actually take the time to think about what you want most and the positive things that you would like to attract. Many people live day by day but are not thinking much about their future. Once you determine what you want, do not focus on the limiting factors that could be preventing you from achieving what you want–instead you need to work with what you already have and take the action steps that are required of you to manifest what you want most.

– If it does not come natural for you to think positively, actually take the time to write positive affirmations that apply to you AND read them daily. Ideally this can be done before bed and when you wake up so they can transfer within your subconscious mind over time. This simple practice is more helpful than you realize and best of all, it is never too late in life to get started.

– As important as it to create a [positive] life narrative, you actually NEED to believe in your narrative! If you are not at a place where you believe what you want to achieve, then this just means you need to work on yourself. FYI, this is something we all should be doing on a regular basis–creating our best version of self. When we actually become our best version of self, with that comes self love and positivity which will allow you to naturally attract everything you want because of your strong belief you can have it all. 🙂

One of the Greatest Motivating Factors – Being Told “No”

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I was reading a book where I came across a quote that I had never seen before:

I thought to myself, this is incredibly accurate and true. When someone tells you that you cannot do something or something is out of your reach, don’t buy into this negativity! Why are you letting someone underestimate your abilities and self worth? Let people think what they want but you do what you want and prove them otherwise but most importantly prove it to yourself.

I always remind people that for every person who says no, trust me, there are PLENTY of people who will say yes. This applies to entering new relationships, finding a job, etc. Even if you went through a series of rejections, let that serve as a way to motivate you to rise above and elevate yourself to a higher level. Don’t ever let a “no” leave yourself feeling defeated and focus on everything that you CAN do because you can do it all (and much more)! 🙂

Ask For What You Want From the Universe (OR SOMETHING BETTER)

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When I talk about how I am able to attract things that I want most in life and how I am spiritually connected to the Universe, people who are on the same spiritual wavelength “get it” whereas there are other people who hear this and probably think I am absolutely crazy (and I am okay with that). What works for me personally won’t work for everyone but I do happen to find that others who hold the same spiritual beliefs as I do also are on a great life track, attract abundance with ease, and are positive minded individuals who live life with fulfillment.

What is stopping most people from living the life that they want is that they are not specific in what they want. They might think about what they want from time to time which is a good start but it needs to be a laser focused thought that is specific along with a burning desire attached to it. There is a huge difference between, “It would be nice to lose a little weight” vs. “I want to lose 10 lbs and will do what it takes to reach my goal by changing my diet and working out a minimum of five days a week.” Saying anything “would be nice” is simply NOT nice enough when it comes to the manifestation process because it isn’t a firm enough statement backing up that you even want whatever it is that badly to begin with.

Besides asking for what I want which I do put the time to put into writing when it is something serious, I just got into the habit of adding to the end of the statement: Or something better. Right now, think about what you really want and try to be as detailed as you can be.

Ex: I want ________________ or something better.
(You fill in the blank of course).

The reason behind it is that I think of it like this, why put a limitation on what you are asking for? I can be very specific in what I want but I am always open to obtaining something even better than what I initially asked for. So the next time you are looking to manifest something, of course ask within reason but be sure to add “or something better” to the end of it because as we all know, ‘the sky’s the limit‘ so why can’t this apply to your life? 😉

Fixate on Everything You DO Have (Not What is Lacking) to Increase Positivity and Abundance In Your Life

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Often times I have conversations with people and I cannot help but notice how unhappy and empty they appear to feel inside. This can range from someone complaining about every little thing, making excuses as to why their life is the way it is (aka miserable), and/or their energy is focused on everything they are lacking. I believe that often times, the greatest barrier that is preventing someone like this from growing and attracting abundance into their life stems from their mindset–a very negative, limiting, and weak one. This is where you need to make a conscious effort to stop yourself from clouding your mind with these negative thoughts and get into a habit of developing more positive ones. The truth is, life is not going to be sunshine and rainbows at all times. There will be storms and dark clouds (spiritually speaking) along the way but you cannot focus on the darkness because it will eventually subside and it is only temporary. Remember, it is as temporary as your mind determines it to be so the quicker your mind can move on from the negativity, the better. Although it is natural and okay to feel moments of doubt and unhappiness from time to time, you cannot allow these feelings to dominate your mind on a regular basis–you need to consciously detach yourself from developing these into permanent feelings.

I also want to point out that everyone is born with special gifts and talents which we need to continue to build and expand on. Don’t focus on what you are missing, focus on what you got going for you. EVERYONE has SOMETHING to offer! What is your special gift? What gives your life purpose and how can you provide value to yourself and others? Look at what you have going for you and learn to be thankful for all your amazing attributes instead of complaining about what you don’t have. This most certainly applies to your looks too. So what if you’re not that tall? So what if you don’t like the shape of your nose? Whatever it is that you perceive as an “imperfection,” why are you not acknowledging your very best features? People tend to complain about what they wish they had and might go through drastic measures to change them when they should be owning what they do have instead. I do not want to hear that you cannot live a better life or be happy because of something you are missing which stems from what is missing on the inside. Continue to focus on what’s great. At the end of the day, you need to work with what you have and fully go with it!

An Everyday Motto to Live By – “Fantastic and Only Improving”

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I was watching the news the other day where I learned that Brooke Baldwin is leaving CNN in which I strolled onto her Instagram (I wanted to send her some well wishes) and found her wearing a sweatshirt that read, “Fantastic and Only Improving.” She explained that whenever she asked her security guard Ant Diggity how his day was, he would always respond with that exact phrase. I loved it so much that I just had to share it with my readers! 🙂

What I like most about it is that it is declaring a firm positive state of mind of being fantastic (not just your typical, “good” or “okay” response). Then it is followed up by, only improving. This is really the key to living a fulfilling life full of abundance and leading to a path of growth, success, and happiness–which is by focusing on making self improvements and bettering yourself on a regular basis! No one is born perfect but at the very least, we can always strive for the very best things in life and make a commitment to be a better person each and every day.

So the next time someone asks you, “How are you doing?” Just look the person straight in the eye and reply with conviction, “Fantastic and only improving.” 😉

[On a final note, I am snowed in today in NJ and was thinking about taking a nap; however, after writing this post, I am actually self motivated to do more productive things instead. It goes to show that you can stay motivated with the right mindset].

“The Best Way to Predict Your Future is to CREATE It”

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I randomly stumbled across this quote for the first time yesterday although I am sure many people are familiar with it. I googled it to find that Abraham Lincoln said it: “The best way to predict your future is to create it.“ Now I know that many can counter argue that you cannot really predict the future (Ex: Who knew we would be faced with a global pandemic?); however, that is not the point. What it truly means is that we can make the best everyday decisions for ourselves to create the very best outcome for our lives. Although there is no crystal ball to predict the future, we can still take the right action steps to create a brighter future. It is never too late to start either so if you find that you have made some mistakes or have not done the best job planning ahead, you can always start today.

For your information, I furthered my research on Abraham Lincoln to find that he experienced many failures before becoming the president of the United States at age 52. Yet we do not remember him for his failures, he is most remembered for his successes! (Which also goes to show that a setback or perhaps even a series of them is ultimately life providing a set up for something even better). 😉

Want to Make a Life Change? – 3 Absolute Necessities to Make It Happen

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Although this is the time you might be thinking about resolutions and life changes, we all know that you can decide to make a positive shift in your life at any point of the year. However, although people might have the best intentions to do so, often times people fall short by giving up way too soon, not doing anything about it to begin with, and/or were never really too serious about making the change to begin with. This is why it is important to focus on these three things to manifest the change:

Deep Desire – People want many things within their lifetime but the real question is, how badly do you really want these things? For example, many people aspire to lose weight and stay in shape. However, if you do not want it that badly then chances are, you will never get the results you are looking to achieve. A person who is serious about making a change is going to ask, what sacrifices are going to be needed to actually reach the end goal? This question stems from their burning passion from within. When you have a deep desire to achieve something, you will be amazed how much your will power will kick up to high gear along with a focused state of mind.

Belief in Self – I think the biggest setback people often face is self. If you do not strongly believe you can make the life change, think it will require too much work, do not feel you are deserving, or whatever the hesitation might be on your end, then chances are, it will never happen. This is why it is ESSENTIAL that you actually believe you can make it happen. Again, you do not need to know exactly when or how right now to get there but you need to really believe that you can acquire it. If you do not fully believe this on your own, then I recommend relying on people in your life who can positively support you and writing down some affirmations on cards that you can read daily to serve as a reminder and as a way to sink into your subconscious mind.

Execute Action – I always emphasize desiring and believing are the first steps of the process of manifestation but it cannot stop there because that simply is not enough–it is only the start. This is where you need to actually execute action by forming new habits and taking the steps needed to get to your final goal of making the life change. As a preliminary step, writing out an actual action plan can be incredibly beneficial. It will lay out a guideline of the actions needed to manifest exactly what you want. It also provides you a place to track your progress over time and check off everything you have accomplished along the way throughout the journey to completion.

If You Are Not the Person You Want to Be – 5 Steps to Get You Closer

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As we step into yet another new year, we often think this is the time to come up with some resolutions with the mindset that this is going to be our greatest year yet. The truth of the matter is, our lives are constantly a work in progress and essentially a masterpiece we are creating one stroke at a time, in other words each and every day. The beginning of a new year is a great time to refocus on what we are looking to achieve while for some it might be a good time to press the reset button and start something entirely new.

Another thought to consider is, who are you today and who is the person that you want to become? After digging deep and thinking about that, the next thought is to ask yourself, how do you become that person and what is it going to take to do so? In order to become the person you aspire to be, here are five things you can do to build yourself up:

Have a Vision – Everything starts with a vision. You need to start by proactively thinking about the life you want to live including the life experiences and lifestyle you want to acquire. It should excite you just thinking about the vision within your mind, the more vivid the better.

Write It Down – As much as it is important to create the thoughts in your mind, thinking and talking about anything is not the same as actually writing it down. That is why I advise taking the time to write down in a journal or an index card specifically who you want to be and taking it a step further by planning out ways you can achieve this.

Create Affirmations – If you have never taken the time to write affirmations about yourself, this is a great time to start. Affirmations are powerful because they are statements you are declaring about yourself. Even if you do not fully believe in what you are writing right now, it will sink in your mind over time if you repeat them in order to start believing them.

Improve Your Habits – In order to become a better person or get better at anything, focusing on your habits and improving them is key. I also recommend finding a way to track your progress as this holds you more accountable and you can see your growth over time.

Study the People You Admire – Is there someone in your life whom you greatly respect or perhaps a famous person whom you admire? This is a good opportunity to learn about them by taking some mental notes on how they live their lives and then applying what they do to better your own life while continuing to look up to them as a role model.

A Time to Reflect – What I Do on Every New Year’s Day

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For starters, happy new year! 🙂 The years go by so fast that it is really hard to believe a new year is upon us. The year 2020 was a year that presented many challenges but on the positive side, we can all learn very much from these challenges. It took many of us out of our comfort zones which I do not view as a bad thing because this tests our inner strength and can only make us stronger. I am not dismissing the fact that 2020 was a rough year on so many of us but just acknowledging that we can still find good things rather than only focus on the negatives.

New Year’s Day for me is a time of solitude and reflection. This is not to say that I stay isolated all day as I am sure I can recall previous years where I was surrounded by others on New Year’s Day but more often than not, I usually find a good portion of the day to just be by myself. I find that it is calming and it spiritually energizes me to look at where I am today while focusing on where I want to be tomorrow. Whether it is a new year or not, I always want to be progressing in life and if I am going to fall, I’m surely going to fall forward.

I also take the time on New Year’s Day to write a letter to myself. I cannot recall when exactly I started this New Year’s tradition but I am going to say this started at least ten years ago by this point. It is never a long letter but I tend to write about where I am at that moment on that day and also write where I predict I will be a year later. I find it really interesting to read the letter a year later because it captures that moment in time while also seeing how much changes from year-to-year. Although many areas of my life stay relatively stable, I do find my life from one year to the next can be rather unpredictable. (Ex: I think we can all agree that there was no way we could have predicted that we would be living through a pandemic right now).

Although many people might not be too fond of writing, I recommend taking some time out of your day to write a New Year’s letter to yourself. You can write about anything such as where you are right now in life, what you see in your future, and whatever is of relevance to you at the present moment. There are no specific guidelines as to how to do this as this is a personal letter that you are writing to yourself and for no one else to read (personally–I never share the letter with anyone). After you write the letter, you can seal it and store it in a safe place to not be opened until January 1st, 2022. I find the thought of what the first day of the year 2022 is hard for me to fathom right now but it is intriguing thinking about next year on the first day of the current new year.