Author Archives: Make Up the Life You Love

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About Make Up the Life You Love

Hi, my name is Meli and I am the creator of Make Up the Life You Love!

Why Similar Lifestyles Matter in A Relationship

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Everyone’s lifestyle varies and it is unlikely to meet someone with the exact same lifestyle as you; however, finding someone with a pretty similar one is very important for long term relationship success. It is natural and okay to have differences including different hobbies but when two people live life in ways in which two people cannot easily relate to each other, it is tough to ask for either person to adapt to the other. It is also very easy for the relationship to deteriorate over time as people tend to get resentful or can simply just get tired of each other’s differences.

That is why it is of extreme importance to pay attention to a person’s overall lifestyle from the start of getting to know someone. Although lifestyle can be impacted by one’s career choice, location, and other factors–the way in which a person chooses to live their life is a personal choice that often won’t change. It is good to examine the major components of one’s lifestyle that can include:

– How does this person like to spend their free time?
– How does this person manage their money? Are they more of a spender or a saver?
– What is their idea of a vacation?
– What are their health habits? What does health/fitness mean to them?
– What are their life goals? Are they in alignment with yours?
– Where do they want to live?
– Does this person practice a religion and to what extent?
– How much time is enjoyed being spent alone and with their partner?
– What does intimacy mean to this person?

This is just a general list to go by but keep in mind that there are many other areas that can contribute to one’s lifestyle. Please note that I did not list anything that was trivial such as a person’s favorite pizza topping or sports team as I would categorize that as a personal preference and not so much associated with their lifestyle. Of course as I mentioned, nothing is going to be exact but instead, it is most important to focus on what’s SIMILAR. When two lifestyles are very similar, it allows for two people to continuously grow together while genuinely loving each other’s company even more as they are brought together by their shared interests. There is a reason why they say, “Birds of a feather, flock together” which very much applies here.

When Words and Actions Don’t Line Up – Which is More of an Indicator of a Person’s True Intent?

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[I was going through my saved drafts and stumbled upon this title I wrote from June of 2020 so I guess this was a topic that was on my mind a year ago but one that I never took the time to develop. So I figured I might as well write my thoughts on this].

They always say, “Actions speak louder than words.” However, aren’t there instances where a person’s words can speak louder than their actions? Or better yet, when a person’s actions and words are consistently equal with one another? Unfortunately, many people tend to send mixed messages (whether intended or not) so it is not always easy to understand someone’s intent when their actions and words don’t go hand in hand. This is where you have to rely more heavily on your intuition as opposed to your perception. Typically, your intuition will guide you in the right direction. When you experience moments of doubt, trust what your intuition is telling you. If you ever sense a lack of clarity, it exists for a reason so take it seriously.

Aside from your intuition which we are naturally born with, some people have sharper intuition than others. Meaning that intuition is not enough in really understanding whether or not a person’s actions or words are more reliable. I find that this is why you need to understand what is more important to that specific person. For example, for me personally, given the choice–I value words more than actions. In my interactions with others, I prefer to use my words and be direct with people as a way to communicate as opposed to actions alone. That does not mean that I cannot be deciphered based on the actions I take but what it does mean is that my words can be taken at total face value. What I say is what I mean–there typically is not a hidden meaning behind my words. I try to make an effort to chose my words wisely and I appreciate when people communicate concisely the way I do, although I am aware enough to know that not everyone is like me in that way. Although this is my preference, there are people who don’t really take their words as seriously or even choose to use their words as often as they prefer to communicate with their actions. This is why you need to examine an individual to see what they value more as this will tend to determine how they communicate with the outside world. People are always conveying their true selves through both their words and actions but at the end of the day, people are going to best express themselves through their desired form of communication.

Happy One Year Anniversary – Makeupthelifeyoulove.com

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It is crazy to think that today is the one year anniversary of launching this blog publicly onto WordPress. I actually had started working on this website during the height of the pandemic last April and May (that is why my very first content was posted in May of 2020) but I did not make it public until June 1, 2020. I knew that I wanted to get back into blogging again and the quarantine last year provided me the ample time needed to start this writing project from scratch. I have blogged on and off throughout my life but decided I wanted to commit myself to something of substance and with a positive purpose.

Considering I only write as a hobby, I am amazed at the increase in readership since I started this time last year. I peruse my blog statistics every so often to see that I attract people from around the world along with repeat readers who are now also loyal subscribers. As of today, I have 219 subscribers which is a remarkable number as most are people I do not know in real life. Whether you stumbled across this at random from a search engine just for a single blog post or you visit here more frequently, just know that I appreciate each and every one of you who take the time to read my content! I really strive to help people make better life choices, feel good about themselves, and to walk away feeling empowered AF! 🙂 If I can make any impact on your life for the better through my writing, then I could not be happier as this is what makes blogging such an incredibly rewarding hobby.

Happy anniversary to my blog today and thank you to my readers who make this a meaningful experience! ❤

(PS – If you are curious as to what was my most popular post written last year, it was this one. I noticed in the month of May, it received over 500 hits alone).

More Drive and Discipline = More Results

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No matter what goal it is that you are looking to achieve, it all starts with DRIVE followed by DISCIPLINE. The drive is essential because if you don’t really want something bad enough, it is not a serious goal and very likely not something you are thinking about all too often. Trust me, when you genuinely want something, you not only think about it constantly but you will do whatever it takes to manifest the goal into a reality.

That is where discipline comes in, as I consider this to be a very important life skill in helping you reach your goals. Just about every successful person I know implements discipline into their lives in order to achieve great things. It is also very noticeable to me when someone lacks discipline because they tend to be lazy people who will put instant gratification over their long term goals–if they even have goals to begin with. Although I recognize that not everyone is born with discipline or were provided with a strong upbringing where discipline was taught, the good news is that you can still pick it up and start to build this skill into your life. Like most things, it is never too late as long as you are committed to yourself and make the effort to learn how you can become more disciplined. Here are a few things you can do to start:

Write Down Your Progress – I consistently preach the importance of tracking down your progress because it measures your growth over time. I prefer old fashioned pen and paper but find a tracking system that works for you and stick to it. It is remarkable to see your results unfold when you compare where you started to where you are now. Some goals can take years, so do NOT be discouraged when you are not seeing fast results and continue to track anyway.

Make Sacrifices Often – Keep in mind that with discipline comes sacrifice. That is fundamentally what discipline is all about–making a ton of sacrifices. Sacrifice does not need to mean deprivation. I am not suggesting you deprive yourself of anything but what I am saying is that you are going to need to make some sacrifices (which requires discipline on your end) to obtain the results you are looking for.

Take as Much Action as Possible – What sets apart a disciplined person versus someone who is not is that the disciplined person is constantly taking action. Even if that means doing things they are not too fond of (again, sacrifice), they are doing it anyhow! Disciplined people understand that you have to do these things in order to get to the greater good in life. They will take as much action as possible to get closer and closer to their end goal. Remember, any action is better than no action!

George Floyd – One Year Anniversary Today – May 25, 2021

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It is hard to believe a full year has gone by since George Floyd’s tragic death happened in Minneapolis on May 25, 2020 that not only shook the United States but the entire world. It is still so heartbreaking to think about to this day because although this brought racial awareness regarding the injustice towards African Americans, I look at it like this as I have also previously stated in my blog:  It does not matter what the color of your skin is to know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. While there are many who choose to segregate ourselves from one another based upon our race and other criteria such as religion and gender, I still genuinely look at all of us as people. Unfortunately, I recognize that not everyone feels that way which is why we keep seeing reoccurring incidents like George Floyd’s death play out time and time again along with countless racial injustices.

Although I am only one person, that does not mean that I cannot make a change when it comes to racial matters. It actually took me many years to see how badly people were discriminated against based on the color of their skin even though this is sadly a common reality for many people. It is not limited to race either, as a person can get discriminated against based on just about anything. Even though I do not discriminate against others and I rarely witness or experience racism in my everyday encounters–this does not mean racism is non-existent. This was a realization that unfortunately did not hit me until I started to pay attention to the media more and follow the news which only captures a small percentage of what is really happening in the world. Now that I am aware, I make it a point to talk to others about racial matters so they too are aware of what’s happening. I am taking the time right now to talk about this in my blog not only because it’s currently a “hot topic” but because I want to promote equality and discuss ways in which we can create unity amongst one another. Besides talking about it, I try to make an extra effort to connect with people of various backgrounds so they feel accepted and a sense of comfort within my presence. This is something I believe we can all make the conscientious action to take because it is so important to make everyone and anyone feel included, valued, and important in this world.

While we take this time to remember George Floyd’s life and how his death brought awareness of the racial injustices that continue to plague our society, let’s also remember that our little everyday actions can shape the world in becoming a happier, peaceful, positive, and more accepting place. We as individuals will always have the capability of making an impact; however, when we also take the time to come together as one, that is when real social change begins to happen. 🙂 ❤

Level Up Your Mind and the Rest Falls Into Place

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I truly believe that your destiny starts with your mind and whatever you think about most tends to be what comes into fruition. For example, if you choose to worry a lot about the things that are missing from your life, then you constantly are going to stay in a place of scarcity and face more problems rather than generating solutions. If you focus on the things you want to achieve and have the attitude that everything you desire is within your reach, then you are setting yourself up for success along with putting yourself in receiving mode where attracting abundance into your life is inevitable.

This is why I want to make it clear: Level up your mind and the rest falls into place. By this, I want to express the importance of developing a strong mindset and leveling it up by holding high standards–and actually sticking to them. It is important to note that creating high standards does not make you a stuck up person or any better than someone else. It is just the way in which you control the quality of your life. Everyone should aim to live their best quality of life, whatever this means to you personally. Once you determine the quality, the rest will fall into place because you now possess a concrete standard in your mind and anything that doesn’t meet the bar, you will not settle for. You also begin to focus on what you really do want which propels you to take the action needed to get to your end goal.

At the end of the day, life is too short to live a life of mediocrity. Why should you ever settle? If you level up your mind, you will never have to settle and more good things will continue to be on the horizon (often times when you least expect them 😉 ). Take the time to think on a deeper level what you want most and be committed to these life choices and most importantly–be committed to yourself. The results are on their way, as long as your mind is firmly attached to the desired outcome. So let’s all learn to level up today and everyday!

3 Ways to Leave a Positive Emotional Impact on Others

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I think when you are naturally more driven by emotions and have a higher EI (emotional intelligence), it comes natural to consciously question, “Do I emotionally impact others in a positive way?” If this is something that never really crosses your mind, then it might be time to bring some self awareness on this subject matter–especially if you consider yourself more of thinker type (one who uses their head more than their heart) or you classify yourself as an emotionless individual.

There is nothing wrong with not being a feeler type as I recognize there are many people who are not built to operate in this way. I do not think anyone should have to change their foundation or that it is even a realistic request as our genetics strongly dictate how we are hardwired to function. However, I do believe that in order to improve your personal and professional relationships, be successful in any business and/or career, and just have more positive everyday encounters, paying attention to the emotional impact you leave on others is essential. Taking the time to just be aware of how you treat others is the first major step. Even if you are emotionally clueless and have no idea how to really emotionally impact others in a positive way, there are certain practices that can implemented to increase the likelihood that a person will develop a positive feeling towards you.

Be a Good Listener and Acknowledge What They Say – In order to really develop a connection with someone, it is important to be a good listener because people want to be able to express themselves and feel like they are truly being heard. To take it a step further, not only remember what the person tells you but acknowledge what they say by applying what they tell you. For example, if the person tells you the type of music that they listen to, you can apply this information by then actually listening to their music to show your interest. From there, you can then make music suggestions based on what they tell you that they like. If you try to suggest music that you like but it’s not something they really like, then this is not really acknowledging their personal interests.

Give Meaningful Validation – People generally like to receive validation from others but when genuine and meaningful validation is given, it has a much higher emotional impact on someone than just giving validation for the sake of it. For example, if someone is an athlete, telling the person they are a great athlete might not hold too much meaning to them because this is what they do and they already are aware of their athletic strengths. If you further get to know the person on a deeper level to learn their other positive attributes which aren’t validated all too often and then compliment them on it, this will definitely make you stand out from others who just compliment them on what is obvious to them.

Show Engagement With Your Body Language – When there isn’t a verbal exchange, people will heavily rely on body language as it is very telling and can either positively or negatively rub someone the wrong way. Body language that is more open and inviting such as smiling, making eye contact, and just giving off a general positive vibe will definitely leave a more favorable impression by showing you are open and engaged in them personally. I understand there will be times that you will not want to attract too much attention from strangers but if you are entering a new social environment or workplace where first impressions matter, it might be a good idea to pay closer attention to your body language. When someone is standoffish with their body language such as never smiling, having their arms crossed, socially obvious to their surroundings, or just caught up in their own world, then this will send the message of detachment when this might not necessarily be the case.

Authenticity Can Create Success If You Take the Time to Develop It

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When people think about what qualities are needed to be successful in life, I can think of many words that are associated with success. The first words that come to my mind are hardworking, passionate, determined, disciplined, and proactive. There is no denying that these are effective qualities that will propel someone to advance and achieve many amazing things in a lifetime.

However, I want to share a quality that is often underestimated and not really talked about all too often. I strongly believe that being authentic is a driving force behind becoming a highly successful individual. What exactly is authenticity? I would describe authenticity simply as being true to yourself. One might wonder, well how is “being true to yourself” ever going to provide success? The problem is, most people do not take the time to dig deep and discover what being true to self means to them. In addition, many people are too heavily impacted by society, social media, and the outside world to the point where they go through the motions of life doing what they think they are “supposed to do” or what is expected of them. These same people tend to be too busy looking at what everyone else is doing rather than staying focused on their individual path and living a life of authenticity. For example, society tends to promote professional success to equate to this life equation: Go to college, obtain a degree, find a career, and voila–you can then live happily ever after with financial security and the ability to make lots of money. Let’s be real, this path is NOT for everyone. Did you know that there are plenty of successful people who did NOT go to college or they advanced in something that did not even require a college degree? My point is, life should not be pursued with a ‘one size fits all’ mentality as what works for one person might not be the right path for someone else. It is for this reason that you need to determine what being authentic means to you.

Everyone is born with special gifts and various interests and it is up to you to thoroughly explore them. You would be amazed at what hobbies can actually turn into a business and/or career. Think about the things you most naturally gravitated towards as a young child or adult. Something to also think about: What brings you intrinsic happiness and what do you value most in life? In order to be authentic, you will need to do the work and focus on your own self development. From there, expand on these talents and interests by mastering them and then actually find a way to utilize them. Do not be so concerned on whether or not it will bring you immediate wealth because I do believe that the money will naturally be manifested over time if you just keep doing what you’re doing and put your energy towards being amazing at something that you truly love and care about. Even if society or those around you do not fully support your aspirations, still stay true to yourself as you can always prove them otherwise later (after you become successful that is). 😉

Going Back to An Ex Immediately After a Breakup – Why It Is a Major Red Flag on Multiple Levels

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Although I do not follow much celebrity gossip these days, it is hard to escape the current headlines that are surfacing that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck reconnected and planned a getaway in Montana. Despite the fact that they were together over 15 years ago, I actually predicted that they would “get together” in some way. I was not expecting it to be this soon after her recent broken engagement with Alex Rodriguez; however, at the same time, human nature never fails to surprise me. Certain outcomes are so incredibly predictable when you take the time to understand people’s behaviors and often times, many of these same situations are portrayed on a television show, movie, or in real life. You do not need to be a celebrity to experience these things because everyday people fall in love along with going through breakups. The only major difference is that their lives are out for public display and can easily be googled if you are looking for an update on their personal status.

Every relationship is different and without much information, I am not here to judge people for their decisions and how they go about living life after a breakup. I can provide my honest feedback, general analysis, and opinion of the situation but that is the extent of it. On a fundamental level, not knowing too many details, I strongly believe going back to any ex (doesn’t matter how long ago they were dating, when they broke up, why it ended, etc.) soon after a current relationship ended is not only a red flag but I want to emphasize, a MAJOR red flag–yes, on multiple levels. I not only find it outright distasteful but it really reveals a lot about a person’s true character; specifically one’s character flaws which I will go into in further detail.

Trouble Letting Go of Their Past – I would say that most people have a really hard time letting go of their past. Their past life has a stronger impact on their present life than their actual present and future which is why you see people constantly making the same mistakes because they simply never learned the first time. It is acceptable to make mistakes in life but failing to learn from them is when it becomes a reoccurring problem. It is also troublesome dating someone who holds onto their past as you never really know if they have fully moved on and are ready to turn the page onto a new chapter.

Never Really Over the Person to Begin With – When I see someone going back to an ex on a romantic level at any given point, I always question if this person ever really got over this person at the time of the breakup. It can often show that the person never fully recovered and as a result has unresolved feelings towards someone they were previously dating.

Cannot Handle Being Single for Long Periods of Time – There are going to be times in life when you are single and when you are in a relationship. Unfortunately, you will find there are many people who feel uncomfortable when they are single and are always looking for a replacement soon after a relationship ended. I do not view this as healthy as one should be able to live a happy life with or without a significant other.

Reconnecting Just Out of Convenience – Sometimes there are no true feelings left for their ex but pursuing an ex provides stability, comfort, intimacy, and/or convenience. People should not be keeping the door open for their exes just so they can serve as “comfort objects.” (If one is looking for such a thing, stop choosing people for this purpose and maybe consider buying a cozy blanket).

Inability to Accept Change – Many people are a creature of habit which does not always have to be labeled as a bad thing but I do view it as a bad thing when one is unable to cope with a breakup (the change) and feel the need to have someone (in this case an ex) as they cannot deal with the change in its entirety so the only solution is to keep an ex around for the sake of it.

Revenge Tactic – I would say this is probably the worst reason as to why someone goes back to an ex–to make their most recent ex jealous, display a lack of empathy, and/or to show that they never really got over an ex in the first place. Sadly, I do see people do this out of revenge and no matter what the inner motive behind it is, revenge is never seen as a positive thing.

I want to point out, I do believe that organically (by that I mean by chance), it is possible for two people who once dated can cross paths later in their lives and perhaps rekindle their love again if the time apart was needed for their lives to become more aligned later as anything is possible in one’s lifetime. However, when you see someone proactively pursuing an ex RIGHT AFTER they got out of a relationship or their ex pursued them and they go for it, this is when the situation becomes problematic and one in which you want to stay far away from. At the end of the day, people are going to do what they want and are always showing you who they are as a person. When you come across a red flag, the good thing is that this actually makes it much easier to move on with your life and focus on your future. So despite red flags being a negative thing, consider them as a positive thing when they are guiding you away from someone else.

Never Take the First Offer On the Table – Why You Should Be More Selective

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I was recently talking to a friend who had lost a job and she initially was going to take a little bit of time to herself before jumping into a new job; however, she decided to start the job hunting process rather quickly. She ended up landing a job which she was unsure if it really met all of her criteria but accepted the offer anyway. Before she had taken the job, I had advised that she take some time to interview for other positions. Why? I believe it is always wise to have create multiple options before settling on anything. I guess she figured that getting an offer right away is better than no offer and this also would save time from having to set up multiple interviews with other companies. After a few weeks, she said she will keep the new job but will keep her eyes open for a better job. (She decided she wanted a job that was fully remote at this stage of her life for the convenience and enhanced quality of life as opposed to commuting a few days a week). If she had taken the extra time at the start of the job search to to set up more than one interview, she could then choose what would be her very best option rather than settling.

This perfectly exemplifies the importance of being selective and as I like to point out, why you should never take the first offer on the table. I guess I should never say never as there are certain instances in which you might take the first offer when it is a time sensitive issue or something that is chosen on a first come, first serve basis. Of course there are always going to be exceptions but generally speaking, when you are in control of making an important life decision, have options and critically weigh them all out. People often complain that they never have many options to begin with so they just take what they can get. This is a very weak mentality to possess and one that needs to be shifted from scarcity to ABUNDANCE. If you believe you don’t have options, then you will lack the ability to generate them and never really be presented with any. If you switch your mind to believe that you can attract plenty of options, heck–let’s make that UNLIMITED options, then you’d be amazed at what your life will begin to attract and have to offer to you.

When given more than one option, there is nothing wrong with being selective as one should be thoroughly examining each option before impulsively taking the first one or just settling for anything that comes their way. This applies to just about anything from choosing a job, a life partner, place to live, college to attend, etc. Life is all about making the right choices and living your very best possible outcomes. Always keep your options open and take your time when making your final selection as being selective will often work in your favor in the long run.