Tag Archives: adult children

How to Teach Your Children to Become Financially Independent

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One of the greatest spiritual gifts that you can give to your children is teaching them how to be financially independent. Many parents seem to believe that they are doing their children a favor by giving them everything that they can provide them and by paying for all their expenses. Even if parents have an abundance of wealth, it is still wiser to teach their children how to earn their own money and not to consistently receive financial handouts. In the long run, when children are given free stuff all the time without having to work for it, this creates entitled, spoiled, helpless, and lazy adult children. In order to break this cycle and to prevent this from happening, as a parent, it is important to teach financial independence from the start. This might require some tough love on your part but it will ultimately ensure that you raise children who become self sufficient and financially secure adults who are not dependent on mommy and daddy’s bank account. This is a positive thing and should not be seen as a selfish act as you are forcing your children to grow up, preparing them for the realities of the real world, and building their self worth that they are fully capable of doing this themselves. So where do you begin? The short answer is–as early as possible! There are also some other tips that I would recommend.

Encourage Your Children to Work and Earn Their Own Money – As soon as they can get their working papers, encourage your children to go out in the real world and get a job. Even if the job is not glamorous or high paying, it is still better to push your kids to work and make their own money as opposed to just supplying them with your credit card or money whenever they want something. They are going to eventually need to find a career path but in the meantime, it is smart to have them gain some work experience which will build their work ethic.

Make Them Pay for Everything – I know this might be tough to enforce if your children do not have a steady job or source of income yet but it is essential to make your children pay for everything from the start. Then they will not rely on you for every little thing and expect free handouts. Is your child at an age to drive a car? Do not give them a free car–have them work for it! In addition, they should pay for their car insurance, gas, and the maintenance costs. If you tell them that they need to pay for these things, they will figure it out. This might mean working a job after school or saving strategically but these are great skills to possess. You want your children to be doing these things. It might take them more time to buy the things that they desire but that’s okay. You want to teach your children to know how to pay for things and put in the work that is necessary to earn everything.

Be Okay Saying No When Your Children Ask for Material Objects – It is understandable that your children are going to constantly be asking you for new stuff. It is important to establish what are actual needs versus wants. Oftentimes, the items are not necessities in which it is okay to say no. If the child wants something badly enough, it is a good idea to teach them the benefits of saving any money that they receive or earn to eventually buy the item themselves because it will always be more valuable when it is earned as opposed to being given things for free. It is also good to say no so that the child learns to appreciate what they have as opposed to becoming materialistic and acquiring too many unnecessary possessions.

Teach Them the Benefits of Both Saving and Investing Their Money – Most children are not wise enough to think about the long term effects of their everyday habits. That is why it is natural that they want to spend money to satisfy their need for instant gratification. However, if they were aware of the benefits of compound interest over time and/or the value of saving money for an emergency fund, they would be be more inclined to start saving and investing at a young age. It is up to you as a parent to teach your children financial literacy, especially considering that this is not a subject that is taught in most schools. The best way to teach this is through example and during their younger years so that they can start making the right financial decisions from the start.

Don’t Let Your Adult Children Live at Home for Free – I know this sounds harsh but adults should learn to become adults. That means taking on responsibilities such as moving out of their parents’ house, paying their own bills, managing their personal finances, etc. When you let your adult children live at home for free, they tend to become freeloaders who have no motivation to work or do anything. Do you blame them? Why work when they don’t need to?! It is for this reason that you should encourage your children to move out and learn how to navigate adulthood on their own. Aside from financial lessons, there are so many other life lessons that are gained from living independently such as becoming more responsible and self sufficient. If you allow them to live at home still, maybe consider having them buy their own groceries, contribute towards utilities, pay rent, and/or do extra chores around the house. This might encourage them to want to move out or at the very least teach them that living at home comes with a cost.

How to Prevent Your Adult Children from Living at Home Forever

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Little did I realize when I was old enough to make the statement, “Kids today…” what I was actually referring to was adult kids today. In today’s generation, young adults live at home for a much extended period than ever before. Don’t get me wrong, there are some advantages to staying at home that include saving money, seeing your family on a daily basis, and security. When one comes from a financially secure family, there is no need to worry about if there is going to be food on the table or if the mortgage/rent along with other living expenses are going to be paid on time. All sounds well and good but allowing adult children to stay home without much of a deadline or expiration date aka expectation for them to leave, this is actually hindering them from becoming an independent adult and allowing them to create their own security for themselves. As parents, one of the greatest gifts that can be provided for their children is to teach them how to stand on their own two feet as opposed to giving everything or doing everything for them which puts them in the adult children category. So how exactly can you encourage young adults to want to grow up and move out already?

Plant the Seed When They Are Young – It is extremely important to start with a strong foundation from the very start of their childhood. In order to do this, you need to set high expectations for your children, especially as they become young adults. If they understand what their expectations are along with ways in which they can meet their expectations, chances are they will automatically rise to the occasion without much of a push needed.

Teach Them Life Skills – This is absolutely crucial in their own personal self development that will carry them throughout life. If you take the time to teach basic life skills like how to manage money effectively, do basic things autonomously, and to be independent, then once they are old enough to live on their own, they will have all the tools in the tool belt (in this case, life skills) to make it happen and quite successfully too might I add.

Stop Doing Everything for Them – Parents tend to want to do everything for their children. If you continue to do things such as their laundry, cooking all their meals, and much more, then why would there ever be an incentive to leave this scenario? By continuing to do everything, this also could potentially promote laziness, which is never an attractive quality.

Give Extra Responsibilities – If they are not motivated to move out on their own, then there should be extra responsibilities around the house or to benefit the family more. This can be a combination of having them contribute financially in some way along with added chores such as having them do the grocery shopping, clean the bathrooms, cook meals for the family, etc. At least this way, they are contributing in some way, learning how to become more responsible, and hopefully by assigning too much to them, this will serve as a huge incentive for them to start the process of looking for places to live.

Guide Them Every Step of the Way – Over time, it can be a very touchy subject to bring up the idea of moving out and often become the elephant in the room. Rather than shaming them or placing an ultimatum, it is wise to guide them in the direction of moving out. This can be done by assisting them in looking for listings for a place to rent/buy, find ways to help them save money, offer to help in any way once they begin the moving process, and much more. It can be a scary transition for certain people to move out for the first time so any way you can ease them will be much appreciated.

Although it might be too late to take back their childhood in terms of how you raised your kids, that does not mean it is ever too late to make some changes for their future. It might be much more difficult but it can definitely be done if you take the time to focus on promoting them to grow up and be independent adults. It might take many baby steps to get to the end goal of having an adult child move out but ultimately it will lead to the greater good along with elevating their self confidence and self worth.