Category Archives: Positivity

Denzel Washington Said it Best – “Fall Forward”

I came across this video randomly on YouTube about a month ago and thought it was worth sharing. It was from a commencement speech Denzel Washington gave back in 2011. It is incredibly inspiring and he made many valid points that I agree with one hundred percent.

My favorite line from his speech is this: “If you don’t fail, you are not even trying.” I plan to elaborate in a future post on this idea but basically you need to embrace failing and step out of your comfort zone if you ever want to achieve greatness.

Please take the time to watch this, you will not regret it! It will give you a motivational boost without a doubt. It gives me chills listening to it, especially when listening to the part when he talks about an older woman who approached him at his mother’s beauty shop with a spiritual prophecy. (You got to listen to the video now to find out what she said and how it manifested and came true for Denzel Washington).

“If I’m going to fall, I don’t want to fall back on anything, I want to fall forward.”
– Denzel Washington

Authenticity is More Valuable Than Perfection

I am sure you can recall a time in your life where striving for perfection was your ultimate goal. It can be in school where you were studying to get a perfect grade on an exam or any type of game where you were trying to get a perfect score. I will never say that you should abandon these goals or that it is a waste of energy to want to put in the effort to obtain perfection; however, I think that authenticity holds more value and should be the greater goal in life. By being authentic, that means you have the capacity to acknowledge your strengths but also acknowledge your weaknesses. We as people are simply NOT going to be perfect at everything we pursue or try out so rather than stressing ourselves to be perfect at most things or at all times, we just need to fully accept ourselves for what we do have to offer in this world (and trust me, everybody has something positive to offer ๐Ÿ˜‰ ).

I not only believe that people are more drawn to authentic people but that having authenticity will lead to greater success in life because there is a higher focus on what makes you who you are while also adding dimension to your personality which definitely makes you more attractive both on a professional and personal level.

Looking at the life I created for myself, I will have to admit that there have been many instances in which I wanted to be perfect at something but at the end of the day, being authentic was really more of an overpowering force that lead me to make the right life decisions rather than chasing an unrealistic expectation. Rewinding back to my days at college, going to college was not only an opportunity for me to find myself as it is for most young adults but it gave me the reality check I needed: I did not belong in college. Now I know you might be thinking, “Well you still graduated with a degree, right?” The answer might be yes but going to college made me realize I was not built for it. I could study for hours for an exam and still not receive an A. I could put my absolute best effort and still fall short. I was forced to take all these courses unrelated to my major that I could care less about. Often times I question how I even got through college but the simple answer to this is this: Free Electives. Every free elective I possibly had the opportunity to take a subject of my own free choice, I opted for an Art class. I almost picked it up as a minor but figured Sociology as a minor paired up rather nicely with Psychology. It was not until college that I learned very quickly that my strength was NOT studying and cramming information that I could barely store for a single exam but that my true strength was my ability to create and thrive in an atmosphere where I could be in a constant state of creation. Even though I was content with my final choice of Psychology as my major (I entered my freshman year undeclared but knew it was going to be Psychology or Secondary Education), I remember midway through my Sophomore year of college making the firm decision that graduate school was just not in the cards for me. Coming from a family where education was prized and my parents set the bar that graduate school was the bare minimum, I thought I would take the same road as them and continue my studies after being an undergraduate. At that time, I did not know what my future was going to hold upon graduation if I was not going to continue school until the day before my senior year of college I made a bold decision to check out a makeup artistry school in NYC by myself. I always liked the idea of being a makeup artist but never really thought I would take the time to examine this as a career option. Stepping foot into the makeup school was all the assurance I needed to know that this was not only going to be my destiny but that it would also allow for me to be my authentic self even if that meant it was not the most socially acceptable choice. I could have settled for the “safer” path of continuing my academic studies and trying to strive for a perfection (while stressing myself in the process) that just never would have existed. I chose to be authentic which I personally find to be more valuable of an asset and one that I encourage other people to choose to be. As a result, it lead me to a successful career that I genuinely love now as much as I did as I was learning my craft and most importantly, I fully accept myself. I recognize what I am good at while also knowing what did not work for me and there is nothing wrong with that. Again, we cannot be perfect at everything but we surely can be as authentic as possible! ๐Ÿ™‚

Jealousy is Wasted Energy – Where it Stems From and How to Overcome These Feelings

As I stated in the title of this blog: Jealousy is wasted energy. However, why are certain people more prone to feeling jealous of others and is there such thing as someone being born with a more jealous personality over someone else? I always tell people that I do not have a jealous personality and I don’t get jealous of others. Maybe as a kid, it is normal to feel jealous every so often but it is such a temporary feeling that I cannot really recall really having those intense feelings towards others.

Unfortunately, I do encounter people who are jealous individuals (I’m sure we all do in our everyday lives) and people who have flat out told me, “I am jealous of you because [insert whatever the reason could be].” Personally, it makes me feel very uncomfortable to be around people that potentially could be jealous of me because I never want to evoke those negative feelings inside of someone and it also makes me question if I want to have someone like that in my life as I want to surround myself around positive energy only-people who I could rely on as being a part of my support system and wanting what is best for me.

So where exactly does jealousy stem from? People who feel jealous of other people are individuals who have a very low sense of self worth, lack confidence, and face underlying insecurities that could have developed as young as childhood or that they currently face within their adult lives. Think about it, if you are secure in who you are as a person, why would there ever be a need to be jealous of someone else? When I come across a person who is jealous, I always encourage the person to really look at themselves in the mirror and determine the bigger issue of why they have insecurities from within and what can be done to fix these internal issues.

How to overcome jealousy? As I mentioned, I think the first step is to really find ways to fix your current life circumstances and find ways to build your own self esteem. In order to do this, you need to focus on your own hobbies/passions along with finding your life’s purpose that brings you an abundance amount of personal fulfillment (FYI–this does not always mean a full time career as for some, perhaps being an exceptional parent is your life goal or giving back to the community through volunteer work). Pursuing the things you love in life will enhance your self worth which will ultimately allow you to possess a higher level of self confidence. From there, it will then come natural to let go of any feelings of jealousy that you might have been previously experiencing. Here are some additional ways to make an effort to combat these feelings:

Focus on your life by staying in your own lane – Listen, we all individually are on a different life path with different timelines, different life circumstances, and just a different series of events. Even if you try to emulate someone else’s life such as a family member, friend, or someone you idolize, it probably won’t turn out exactly the same anyhow. If you consciously stay within your own lane by focusing on creating your life path the way you want to lead it, then you should be able to create your own sense of happiness in knowing what your personal road lies ahead. If you feel you are not where you want to be at a certain stage in your life even when you are putting the necessary action and effort, my best advice is to still continue to trust the process that your life will unfold at the time that it is meant to and to not give up. Again, anything in life that is worthwhile is going to be a long road without any shortcuts, so continue to stay in your lane without going off the track and stay positive! ๐Ÿ™‚

Don’t compare yourself to others (on social media especially) – Of course people present themselves in the best light possible, especially on social media profiles to project this picture perfect lifestyle. The truth of the matter is, no one’s life is perfect and what you see is not always the reality anyhow. So just because you see someone doing things that you want to be doing does not mean that their life is sunshine and rainbows all the time. Some of the people who appear to be living their best lives are actually some of the most unhappy and insecure people out there so just stop comparing yourself to these people. Who really cares? If this means you need to deactivate your account or spend less time on social media because it is making you feel bad about yourself, then I highly suggest you get rid of it altogether or do not get into the habit of scrolling to see what other people are up to all the time.

Be happy for others at all times – Seriously, I think people need to take the time to be happy for others, especially for other people’s accomplishments as opposed to putting yourself in a state of personal competition with someone else. It is just good karma, plain and simple. I think when you choose to support others and wish people the best, you are only attracting more positive energy into your own life. If you shift your mental focus to a more positive mindset altogether, you also will find yourself not having these feelings of jealousy anymore.

The next time you catch yourself starting to feel jealous, take a moment to examine your own feelings of inadequacy and ways you can work on this within yourself. If this means seeking professional help or just talking to someone who can uplift your spirits, I highly recommend that you take the time to do so. Aside from working on yourself, I hope the tips listed above will make you more consciously aware of ways to overcome your feelings of jealousy as this is definitely something you can get rid of in its entirety if you want to make this a permanent mindset change.

The Power of Affirmations – Why They Work on Some and Not Others and How to Make Them Work for You

Often times people associate affirmations with the law of attraction or as a way to set goals. I believe affirmations can be very effective when used properly. An affirmation is a firm positive statement that should be written in the present tense as though you are currently experiencing it and in a first person point of view. The best way to utilize affirmations is to repeat them on a daily basis and I even strongly suggest writing them down on index cards so you can read them whenever you want on a daily basis.

There are many benefits to writing positive affirmations and they are indeed very powerful. Here is a list of reasons why they can enhance your life and bring you closer to everything you desire:

– Affirmations keep you laser focused on the things you want. The more your mind focuses on something, the more it will find ways to achieve the desired outcome. People have to understand that this is not an overnight process but if you constantly are thinking about what you want, you will be taking those steps to get there.

– The subconscious mind is said to be more powerful than your conscious mind. Knowing this, feeding your subconscious mind with affirmations along with images of the things you want will program your subconscious mind towards success, confidence, and overall a stronger mindset that will help you obtain your deepest desires.

– Positive affirmations are meant to keep you in a positive state of mind! It is easy to have negative thoughts every so often but when you make a conscious effort to stay positive through the use of positive affirmations, you are eliminating those bad thoughts that might be preventing you from reaching your goals.

So why exactly do affirmations not work on everyone? The problem is, if you have mental road blocks and reasons in your mind that your positive affirmation statements are not valid or accurate, then repeating these positive statements are never going to sink into your subconscious mind. For example, if you truly believe that you put on weight easily from everything you eat, then an affirmation stating that you are happy being healthier and at your ideal weight is never really going to manifest. You have two very conflicting thoughts going on simultaneously and the one that you actually believe in (in this case the negative one) is going to overpower your efforts to stay healthy and fit. When writing your affirmations, you need to focus on what you WANT and not what you don’t want. If you write something along the lines of, “I do not want to gain weight,” even though that is an accurate statement, it is not really written in a positive way. Instead if you were to write, “I am in love with my sexy, fit, and healthy body” then your subconscious mind is under the belief that you possess a healthy body, NOT that you ‘do not want to gain weight’ which means that you are unfit because you are telling yourself you are this way. Do you see the difference between these two thoughts?

How can you maximize the results of positive affirmations so they work for you? For starters, you really need to dig deep and think about exactly everything you want at the present moment. It is okay and highly recommended that you think big even if it is so far from your current reality. Now write everything down and include as many specific details as possible. After you write your ideas, now craft them into positive affirmation statements. As I mentioned, I like writing them on index cards and/or keeping them in a journal as well. I personally like to write the date that I wrote the affirmations on the card so I remember when I wrote them and I can then assess how long it took me to manifest my goal. For the positive affirmations that are specific goals, I do like to assign deadlines however; I do not assign exact timelines for everything as certain affirmations are ongoing and ones I carry throughout my lifetime (such as health related affirmations). The key is to now repeat them on a daily basis. It is recommended that they are repeated when you wake up and when you go to bed. Personally, I only like to read them before bed but I advise the more often you read them, the better because then your mind is constantly focused on them. I look at it like this, positive affirmations are like vitamins–you take them every day and in this case, they are meant to help make your mental wellbeing become healthier and stronger over time.

Final Note: Did you know that Jim Carrey back in 1985 wrote himself a 10 million dollar check for acting services that was dated for 1995 in which he kept in his wallet? Can you guess what happened 10 years later by 1995? By November 1995, he got casted for “Dumb and Dumber” for the amount of 10 million dollars. Coincidence? I think NOT.

My point at the end of all of this is, in order for your positive affirmations to work for you, you need to believe it 100% and repeat them constantly!!! Get rid of your negative thoughts and anything that could be deterring you from the big picture–the life of your dreams! You deserve it! Now go manifest it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

One of the First Steps of Manifestation – Thoughts Become Things

One of the many topics I want to write about within this blog is the concept of manifestation and ways to get closer to your goals and “make up the life you love.” I think that this is a personal subject in that every individual has their own unique process of manifesting what they want in life but at the same time, it comes down to some of the same fundamentals.

I am sure you have heard the common expression, “thoughts become things.” It is such a simple statement but one that holds a high value. For some, you might have heard of it but did not apply too much meaning behind it. Basically it is saying that if you think about something enough, it will eventually transpire. Of course you cannot just simply think about something and then the next day your wish comes to life. It is not about instant gratification although it is amazing how certain things can manifest rather quickly compared to others and that is okay because it is not a race. For example, if you constantly think about the dream car you want to drive, your mind will find ways to get closer to making this become a reality. You might start looking at cars until you know the exact make and model you want. Then you might start saving up the money so that you have the down payment or have enough to pay for it in full. You might also be more focused on finding a career or job that will give you the financial security to be able to afford the car you want to manifest in your life. This is not just about manifesting material objects, it can be applied to just about anything in your life related to your personal life, career, relationships, finances, health, or whatever you personally think about enough.

Many people underestimate the power of their minds and when you are faced with the thought, “Yeah right, that will never happen” then guess what? It is never going to happen because your mind already slammed the door. If you have gotten this far into the article and find you do not agree with what I am sharing or challenge it in any way, then I already can tell by your negative reaction that your mind needs to strengthen up by thinking more positively. While you might challenge me, I challenge you to open your mind towards being more positive and to start thinking more about what you want with the underlying belief in your mind that you already have it. I like to tell people to always have the mindset, “It’s in the bag” meaning you firmly have something, whatever it is. Even if you don’t at the present moment, just thinking about it enough will start the manifestation process.

“Saying Yes to Yourself…”

Today, I had discovered on the news that Phyllis George had died at the age of 70. I was not familiar with who she was but learned she had accomplished many great things within her lifetime. She had won Miss America in 1971, was a sports newscaster for CBS, an author, businesswoman, mother, and she even had a small acting role in the movie, Meet the Parents back in 2000.

What stood out to me from this small news clip about George’s life was a quote of hers that is not only empowering but also something I very much believe in.

“Saying yes to yourself opens up opportunities that can take you anywhere.โ€
– Phyllis George

I share this quote because I think everyone needs to take the time to say yes to yourself, especially during those moments of doubt or uncertainty. This will allow you to shift your mental focus in a more positive direction in your life and propel you to further advance yourself in whatever it is you want to achieve in your lifetime. It is apparent based on her accomplishments that Phyllis George followed her own words of wisdom and pursued many of her passions and dreams.