Category Archives: Change

How to Stay on Track with Your Goals Using a Buddy System

It is really important to find people who are also ambitious, goal oriented, and strive to succeed. Not only are these good people to look up to as role models but they also can help you stay focused on your own personal goals. I recommend finding one person for this activity but I am sure it can work if you form a small group of like minded individuals who want to motivate each other to reach their goals. The great thing is that you can continue to build upon your success but you also get the opportunity to help inspire each other to do that as well. A college friend and I used to do this years ago and I reached out to him that I would like to start this weekly tradition again for the new year in 2021. I will share with you how it works.

Create a List of Both Short Term and Long Term Goals – Your goals are personal to you so they will range in terms of things that you want to get done in about a week’s time while others will be bigger and can take months to years to achieve. The important thing is to really take the time to think about these goals and write them down as specific as you can, the more details the better.
[Your buddy or people within your small group will be doing the same thing}.

Choose a Designated Day/Time Each Week to Connect – Find a time that works with both of your schedules and determine this as your weekly time to connect over the phone, Zoom, or whatever platform that works best for everyone. Once you have chosen this time, this will be the time you chat each week.

Talk about Your Progress During Your Weekly Chats – Each week that you touch base, you will share your goals and discuss the progress you have made towards reaching them. Some weeks you might not have made much progress but that is okay and you can always make up for it in the future. By sharing your goals with another person, it definitely holds you more accountable because you want to be able to tell the other person you’re doing things to make progress rather than telling them you have been slacking. Even during the moments you might be slacking, at least you have the other person to encourage you to stay on track as you would do the same and motivate them to do the same.

You Attract What You Believe You Deserve – Why You Need to Set the Bar High at All Times

Whether people realize it or not, many life experiences that we attract were manifested from the core of our beliefs. Someone who is very positive and loves their life often feel that way because they genuinely believe they have an amazing life to live. Their life isn’t exceptional by chance or because this person was more lucky than someone else. They recognize that they have the capacity to create their own luck by naturally gravitating towards the things that they love along with developing a “sky’s the limit” mindset in which anything they want is within their reach. Even people who were not born into the most ideal life situations have the power to change their destiny and still work towards living a grand life. Often times, you will actually see that the people who experienced much misfortune in their youth end up being the most determined and successful people out in the world. One might wonder, how is it possible to make a dramatically positive switch in life when it was so bad to begin with? As I point out, time and time again, it really starts with your mind first. Not mine (and not anyone else’s) because as much as I can preach this to you, if you do not actually take it seriously, then it will never hold any value or meaning.

It is for this reason that you need to set the bar high at all times. No matter what your current situation is or how unrealistic at the moment it is to ask for what you’re asking for, it is important to believe that you are capable of obtaining it in order to begin the process of manifesting it. When you believe you deserve the very best, you keep attracting the very best and in abundance. There really is no such thing as setting the bar too high in my book! Even if it appears to be far fetched right now, that does not mean it can never happen. Why? The reason being that your beliefs shift your focus into making this a reality. Let’s repeat that: Your beliefs shift your focus into making this a reality.

The same also applies to your personal relationships. If you set the bar high in this department and are crystal clear as to the relationship that you want to be in, trust me–you will not be settling for the players, manipulators, etc. because not only is it transparent that they bring nothing to the table but you also believe you deserve the very best when love is concerned. You are not giving your heart out to just anyone, nor why should you? Setting the bar high in your personal life might mean that you are left single for quite awhile but just remember that it is for the greater good and there is certainly nothing wrong with not wanting to settle. Not to mention that some of the greatest things in life are always worth waiting for.

Stop Leaving the Door Open for Dead End Relationships – 3 Ways to Keep the Door Shut

I often times come across people who are in relationships that are on and off. One moment, things are great followed by another day they are broken up. Then the next thing you know, they are back together. There are also scenarios where a relationship is not progressing in any way and it just stays stagnate. Two people go through the motions of being in some sort of “relationship” but at the end of the day either one person or maybe even both do not genuinely see a future but keep it going because they have nothing better going on or maybe just cannot handle the idea of being single. Whatever the situation may be, it is clear these are all relationships with the same outcome–a dead end.

These are definitely not ideal relationships to be in and there are ways to avoid them in its entirety with a conscious effort on your part:

Make a List of Your Relationship Goals – It is always recommended to write goals regarding your career and professional life, so why not write a list of goals in regards to your personal life? Within this list, be specific and focus on all the things you want in a relationship. Also more importantly, specify the things you will not tolerate so that it becomes crystal clear when you come across these things, you will not stay in the relationship and it becomes much more automatic to know when to move on permanently.

Set Boundaries When People Try to Come Back – It is inevitable that people will test your limitations and try to walk into your life like nothing happened. It is your responsibility to set the boundaries by either expressing that you do not want to work things out, keeping communication to an absolute minimum, or simply by stating to that person what your actual boundaries are so they do not try to overstep them. Although sometimes it can be uncomfortable, it is healthy to have a direct conversation with the other person because usually the person is not a mind reader and might not know exactly where they stand in your life.

Know When to Apply No Contact – The power of no contact is essential yet many people never apply it because they are too weak or just do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings. As drastic of this may sound, sometimes a no contact approach is the best solution for various reasons. For starters, no contact provides space in your life to attract the right relationship to manifest versus holding onto a dead end relationship which is setting back your current status along with your future. In addition, when something is over, it truly is best to keep it that way rather than constantly revisiting it knowing that the outcome is never going to change for the better or within anyone’s favor.

Struggles Give Us Strength – Why It Is Important to Embrace Challenges That Life Throws Your Way

Many people try to cut corners and find short cuts to arrive at their final destination and desired end goals. I am all about saving time and depending on the situation, I would probably encourage one to find a way to achieve something in a shorter amount of time versus taking the longer road. However, life really is about embracing the journey including the challenges that come along the way. While many may wish they had more hand outs and help to make their lives easier, this does not truly provide fulfilling happiness in the long term and does not propel you to chase life with tenacity and purpose. Think about it, if you grew up where you never had to work, every material object you wanted was granted, and you always had food along with a roof over your head, why would you be motivated to do anything for yourself? On the other hand, if you did not grow up with many financial resources, I would expect you might be more self motivated and hungry for any opportunity that comes your way because you need to work hard just to survive. This financial struggle is providing you strength because you do not have the luxury to just sit around and do nothing; therefore, you need to go out into the world and figure things out.

That is why I believe that challenges always bring an abundance of benefits such as strength because although there might be discomfort and pain at the immediate moment, over time, you are actually becoming a stronger individual. You not only have to find ways to adapt but when you are out of your comfort zone, this challenges you to expand your mind by coming with solutions along with toughening you up so you can better handle bigger challenges that you are faced with in the future. As the saying goes, “No pain, no gain.”

The next time you are faced with a tough situation, rather than panicking and thinking negatively, shift your mind into believing it is actually a good thing you are going through the experience and that it is only temporary. If you need to seek outside support, this is a good time to be doing so as there are always resources. Remember, everything at the end of the day is going to be okay and the challenge is actually for the greater good of your self development and is meant to be a part of your life’s path.

3 Ways to Become Emotionally Attached to Your Goals and Why It’s Important

If you set goals that you do not really care much about, I can safely bet that you are not very likely to achieve them. If you have a feeling of indifference towards the goal in which you do not have any emotional attachment towards or you truly believe it is unattainable, then chances are the accomplished goal will never manifest. This is why it is extremely important to form an emotional attachment towards your goals. When you become emotionally invested and actually attached to the goals that you set, you will automatically be thinking about them regularly and as you know, your deepest thoughts become things and manifest over time. That is the beauty of the Laws of Attraction, it really does work when you feed your mind with your desires and an abundance of positivity on a daily basis in order to propel you to take the action needed to magnetize what you want most. It is never too late in your life to spiritually strengthen your mindset and start attracting everything you ask for in this Universe. [Remember, we live in a world of abundance (even during times when it might not feel that way). Everything you are desiring right now is on its way, more specifically the goals that you emotionally attach yourself to. The Universe might have a stronger control of determining the when but YOU are in full control of your mind by determining the what].

So how do you become emotionally attached to your goals? For starters, how badly do you want these things? What are the sacrifices you are willing to make to achieve them? How much are you willing to step out of your comfort zone for the greater good of manifesting your dreams? Are you willing to fail in order to succeed? These are some of the prerequisite questions you need to think about prior to really setting your mind to something you want to achieve. Again, if your goal is not something you truly want or something that your mind could stay fixated on, then you won’t get to the end goal. There is nothing wrong with that, it just means that you need to really dig deep and think about what it is that you would like to accomplish in place of it. Once you do a little soul searching to figure out your goals, there are ways to now bond an emotional attachment towards them.

Write Down Specific Goals and Read Them Every Day – I cannot stress the importance of writing down your goals as detailed as possible and then actually taking the time to read them–otherwise out of sight, out of mind. Storing them in your mind is great but having a tangible index card or journal in which your goals are written down to be read is even more beneficial because it keeps you focused on them and eventually you become obsessed–aka emotionally attached. This is a good thing as it should also ignite some excitement and evoke positive emotions from within to really attain them.

Visualize It Happening Right Now and Focus on How Good You Will Feel Once It is Accomplished – If you visualize yourself experiencing the outcome of your goal, it should make you feel amazing. Maybe the process of getting there might not feel that way but once you achieve it, it should bring you ultimate bliss–so stay focused on that blissful feeling of the end result. When you envision yourself fully embracing your dreams, your mind will find ways to turn this into an actual reality because you already planted the seed in your mind that this is how your life is going to unfold. These positive emotions towards your goal will keep you emotionally attached.

Appreciate Every Little Step You Are Taking to Fulfill Your Goal – In other words, embrace the journey and genuinely cherish any minor accomplishment or stepping stone that was taken to manifest your goal. It is crucial to feel a deep sense of gratitude every step of the way. The Universe will shower you with abundance simply by practicing gratitude and being thankful. Being conscious of every moment, action, and experience associated with achieving your goal will naturally keep you emotionally attached to the point where quitting is not even an option because nothing is stopping you from reaching the end result.

Self Love is Not About How Many Selfies You Post on Social Media – (It is This Instead)

One of the many themes of this blog is the concept of self love because possessing self love is not only healthy but it will also guide you in making the right decisions in regards to your personal relationships. In other words, when you love yourself, then you are less likely to be in situations where people are not treating you right and it will become pretty automatic to weed out the wrong people from your life in its entirety. You will develop a zero tolerance for misbehavior policy because you are just too damn worth it to have to settle or deal with the nonsense (lol–heck, it’s true)!

In today’s modern culture where social media is prevalent and has become a significant part of our daily lives (not everyone of course but the majority), I find that there is such a thing as people who overshare selfies or just photos of oneself. Now if you are in a career such as a model where you are promoting yourself through the use of artistic images as a portfolio in order to collect more work for yourself then by all means, I find that it makes total sense to post them for professional reasons and I understand the logic behind that. However, most people are not professional models or are in a field that would require posting photos of oneself on the regular.

I find people who pretty much only post selfies or do so on a daily basis tend to lack self love because they are in constant need of validation from the outside world and in need of likes, comments, and attention in order to feel good or to feel relevant. Someone who has self love does not need to rely on social validation from others to feel good because it radiates from within. They know they look good already so they do not need to over project their image to the world. They seek validation in more meaningful ways than just images of themselves. Anyone who knows they are attractive or smart or whatever value they offer do not need people to be reminding them of these things. Someone who does not naturally have self love will be looking for it in all the wrong places and their validation will come from a place of neediness and scarcity.

I do not think there is any harm in sharing a photo of yourself enjoying a life experience or maybe you really had a nice outfit to share–I would just suggest to be more selective in the images you post so it does not make you come off as someone who is desperate for attention from others and that you offer more valuable substance than what you look like on the outside. Plus with all these filters and photo editing apps, who really knows if these images are truly that authentic anymore. I also believe that the less selfies you post, the more valuable it is when you actually do take the time to post a photo of yourself so make it count by limiting your selfies and by sharing other aspects of your life that don’t revolve around your image but maybe a hobby, event, destination, family, friends, etc.

The Importance of Chasing Intrinsic Happiness if You Want to Be Successful

What is success? Everyone has a different view as to what success means to them. Success to one person could mean an abundance of fortune while to someone else it could mean achieving fame or perhaps it could be a combination of both and so much more. Success can mean different things to different people. Despite success being translated in various ways, one universal principle that will keep you on the pathway to success comes down to your constant pursuit of intrinsic happiness. The reason why I want to emphasize the intrinsic aspect of happiness is because it really needs to come from within your soul (and not someone else’s). It has to be automatic, natural, authentic, and ultimately make you feel good inside.

If you are pursuing things in life for the sake the of it, everybody’s doing it, or someone tells you it is a good idea when you do not feel the same way, that does not equate as success in my book because it does not revolve around doing what brings you intrinsic happiness. For example, society likes to paint a picture of how your life is meant to play out. In order to have a successful career, you need to pursue an education by going to college. So does that mean that every “successful” career requires a college degree? Absolutely not! Especially in today’s modern world, there are plenty of ways to work towards a successful career that might not require a formal education. The same goes for marriage. It might appear that you need to get married by a certain age in order to reach a high level of success within your personal life but some people might not have the desire to get married or have a family. A person focused on intrinsic happiness while doing it solo can still have the capacity to attract success into their lives and sometimes even more so even if it appears that their personal life was compromised.

At the end of the day, you really need to ask yourself, what makes you happy from the inside out? What brings you joy and makes you feel excited to be alive? When choosing a career path that leads to success, opting for a job that guarantees a hefty salary might be a strong motivating factor but you need to also love what you do. If you dread going to work or hate your job, then maybe it is time to leave your field altogether and try something new. It is never too late to reinvent yourself. I also truly believe that whatever it is that you gravitate towards in life, the money will follow and you can make a living from it. Some paths will take longer than others but with the Laws of Attraction put into place, you do not need to worry so much about the how and when but rather trust the process by trusting what your soul is telling you to chase in life. We all have one life to live–so let’s make it count by investing our energy and time into the things that provide us a life full of purpose and personal satisfaction which will ultimately bring us a heightened level of success in all areas of our lives. 🙂

Complacency Kills Attraction – 5 Ways to Prevent This From Happening

There are many factors as to why a relationship might come to an end but I think a very common one is complacency in which two people do not do put much effort to keep the relationship strong and healthy. With anything in life, what you invest your energy towards is what you will receive in return. I do believe it takes both people to want to make it work. Having one person giving everything while the other person doesn’t do anything will build resentment and ultimately break the foundation of any relationship because 50% (the one person’s effort) is never enough. As the common saying goes, it takes two to tango.

Designate Specific Times to be Together – When two people live very busy lives balancing their careers and families, it is easy for date nights and quality time to go completely out the window. However, if two people make an effort to find designated times a week or within the month to be together, this can definitely keep the connection going while giving both people something to look forward to.

Find Little Ways to Make Someone Happy – People know how to do nice things on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays but why do people have to wait for these milestones to hit in order to express love towards one another? If you take the time to truly understand your partner, it should be rather easy to find ways to make the person happy in the most simplest ways. It does not have to be about how much money is spent, it could be a small gesture like sending lunch to their work for no reason or maybe giving the person a massage after a long work day if that is something they enjoy.

Give Each Other Space to Rebuild Attraction – I know this sounds counterintuitive but there is such a thing as spending too much time with each other. No matter who it is, over time, one if not both people are bound to get bored of each other if too much time is spent together. It is good to still keep some personal space and have individual activities you do without each other so that the actual time you do spend together holds more value.

Make Sacrifices for the Greater Good of the Relationship – Every couple has their differences which can cause problems to arise over time; however, it is important to be the bigger person and make sacrifices for the other person if it is going to bring you both closer in the long run. If this also means finding ways to take turns with each other’s personal preferences such as the types of movies/TV shows you watch, then it is important to do so to allow for both people to feel that their needs are equally being met.

Try New Activities and Discover New Places Together – Variety really is the spice in life and this goes for adding variety in your daily life, especially with your partner. You both might have established some favorite places and activities that you both enjoy together such as a favorite vacation spot but it is always good to expand your horizons by incorporating new things together.

Stop Taking Things Personally – 3 Ways to Learn How to Let it All Go

It is natural to take things personally and feel offended based upon a person’s words or actions, especially if they were directed at you or perhaps towards someone you care about. However, holding onto those feelings will only dominate your mind with negativity while also potentially creating mental setbacks within your life. For example, if someone told you that you are not good at a hobby and you chose to believe it, then you might no longer pursue it anymore even though you enjoy it. There are ways to let things go and to prevent your mind from fixating on the things that can easily be taken to heart.

Build a Strong Foundation (YOU) – It is up to you to build a strong foundation from within and create the best version of yourself throughout the course of your life. This includes developing a sense of self worth and loving yourself. When you possess strength in your mind from knowing your value, then you are less prone to taking things personally because the negativity is not in alignment with how you feel about yourself.

Surround Yourself With Positive People – When you create a positive social circle and support system, it is natural that you won’t be as exposed to negativity to begin with. Who wants to befriend someone who is constantly going to bring you down? Once you are more aware of people’s energies, it will become easier for you to only attract those in your life who will support you and make you feel good.

Know the Difference Between an Insult and Constructive Criticism – There is a difference between someone outright insulting you versus someone providing you with constructive criticism to help you become a better person. If someone is insulting you then you have to let it go in one ear and out the other. Do not let the negativity stay permanently, just dismiss it and remember that out of sight, out of mind. However, if someone such as a coach gives you constructive criticism as a form of feedback, it is important to utilize this as a way to encourage self improvement and as an opportunity for personal growth.

Election Day 2020 (One Week Away) – 5 Safety Tips for Voting During a Pandemic

Election Day in the United States is exactly a week away and happens to fall not only during a pandemic but during a time where cases are starting to spike again across the country. Does this mean you should forfeit your opportunity to vote this year in order to stay safe? No way, I don’t think so! What this does mean is that extra safety precautions will be needed for in-person voting or you can choose another voting alternative this year. As much as I enjoy the process of going to a local voting booth to cast my vote, I decided to fill out my ballot and hand deliver it at a drop off box within my community. If you are nervous your vote might not be counted for, there are websites (this varies based on your state) that actually track your vote. In the state of New Jersey where I am from, I created an account and was able to see the exact date my vote was cast. If you do a google search, you should readily be able to find a ballot tracker based on the state you are from.

Now if you are going to still vote in-person, there are a few safety tips to keep in mind to prevent the likelihood of coming in contact with the virus.

Wear Your Mask at All Times – I feel as though this should go without saying but I cannot emphasize the importance of wearing a mask whenever you are in public or places where there are groups of people which includes the voting booths.

Bring A Pen Instead of Using Theirs – There will definitely not be a shortage of pens at the polls and they probably have a way to sanitize them between use but I still would advise bringing your own pen instead to prevent the potential spread of germs.

Clean Your Hands Frequently with Your Own Hand Sanitizer – Although the polls will most likely have plenty of hand sanitizers, I would still recommend being prepared and have your own handy. Of course the less contact your hands are to your surroundings, the better yet it is wise to be prepared to sanitize your hands any time you touch something.

Try to Go During Off Peak Hours – If possible, try to go during times the polls will have less people. If you are in a city, this might be tough to do as it will be inevitable that you will be stuck waiting on line; however, if there are times you can go in which there will be less crowds (usually in the middle of the day while most people are working), then plan to go during these times.

Avoid Socializing and Stay Social Distanced – As much as it is nice to chat with someone while you are in line or talk to someone you ran into who you know, this is not a good time to get too close to someone or to carry on a conversation. It is obviously not personal and people should be understanding given the circumstances.