Author Archives: Make Up the Life You Love

About Make Up the Life You Love

Hi, my name is Meli and I am the creator of Make Up the Life You Love!

The More You Think of Something – The More Likely It Will Happen

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When it comes to manifestation, it is important to stay focused on your desires and goals because without a doubt–the more you think about something, the higher chance it has of coming into fruition. The reason being as I say time and time again is that our thoughts become things. That is also why there is the expression, “out of sight, out of mind” which is often very true. When you do not think about something all too often, the less likely it will happen because it is not in the forefront of your mind. That is why it is crucial to keep your desires and goals on your mind on a daily basis. The more you think about something, this also deepens the depth of your desires to the point where you want them even more meaning that you will be more motivated to take action and figure out how to make these things all happen. While I believe that The Universe is abundant and giving, that does not mean that it grants people’s wishes simply by thinking about them! It takes MORE than just thinking about them but at least if you keep your desires and goals within your dominant thoughts, you are on the right path of manifestation.

Where people tend to go wrong with this step is that often people have inner setbacks, fears, insecurities, and/or negative thoughts which prevent the manifestation process from ever reaching the desired outcome. One might have the idea, “I really want to lose 10 lbs” followed by the thought, “I’ll never be as skinny as I was 10 years ago.” The problem with this thought process is that while the desire is there–it is backed up with a NEGATIVE and definitive statement which is already stating that this goal is not attainable. Our perception becomes our reality which is why it is essential to work on creating a positive perception. If people replaced their negativity with positivity, they would magnetize and attract even more positive things in life–sometimes without even asking for them!

The next time you set a goal, aside from thinking about it often, do not forget to think about it being ACHIEVABLE and within your reach! In your mind, shift your mindset that everything is in your possession and think about all the positive feelings associated with these achievements.

Is It Worth Emotionally Investing In Someone Who Has Trust Issues?

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Sometimes you will encounter someone who flat out expresses that they have trust issues or you will notice that the person is very guarded where it is hard to really connect with them. It is important to keep in mind that some people will use this as an excuse or a way to further deter developing a connection from moving forward with you rather than expressing there is a lack of interest. If a person legitimately has trust issues, the important thing to do first is to examine the cause of this–if possible. Topics can include discussing the person’s childhood or if they have previously been in relationships where there was a lack of trust and/or they were betrayed. This will not only give you a better understanding but also give you more clarity in regards to whether or not you can further develop a serious relationship with this person over time.

Another thing to consider is that if someone has a lot of trust issues, this could be a sign that they cannot be trusted either. For example, if you meet someone who constantly is accusing you of cheating when there is no rational reason behind it, it could be because this person has a history of this (or on the other hand, as I mentioned previously, that they have experienced being cheated on and now are extra paranoid it could happen again). If this is the case where their trust issues stem from the fact that they are guilty of doing things that are distrustful, then it is clear that this is not the type of person you should emotionally invest in.

Some people are also naturally more guarded than others where they just do not trust people immediately and need to take extra time in getting to know someone in order to feel close and to build trust. In these types of scenarios, this is okay and just requires extra patience on your part. If you feel that there is both a genuine and mutual connection between the two of you–where progress is being made as you continue to spend more quality time together, then it is worth sticking around to see where things go and to continue to emotional invest. It is important to sense that there is movement in a relationship where it is going places as opposed to staying stagnant. If you feel that the other person still has their guard up and it has been challenging for them to open up with you, it might be best to move on and pursue a healthy relationship where you can both build trust together.

The Importance of Turning Burdens Into Blessings – Life Is About Staying Positive and Personal Growth

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I just randomly stumbled upon this saying, “turn burdens into blessings” and although this might sound cliché to some, it was actually the first time that I read this and I could not agree more with this statement which was why I wanted to touch upon it within my blog. Although we cannot always control the highs and the lows that life throws our way, the truth of the matter is that we can choose the way in which we navigate our emotional response in regards to what happens to us in our lifetimes. For example, while one might get very upset over a breakup (which FYI is normal and justified)–another person might look at this “burden” as a “blessing” where they feel liberated to start fresh or maybe take that time to focus on self development. My point is, whatever it is that you perceive as negative, it can very well be translated into something POSITIVE. For all you know, it can open the door to a better opportunity later in time or be a necessary experience that will set you up for something even better. Seriously! I know it is easy for someone to say, “Everything is going to be okay” when you feel miserable and you are entitled to feel sadness, frustration, or negative thoughts from time to time but it is important to look at the bigger picture and to pick yourself back up and shift your mind into a positive one. I truly believe that facing adversity and challenges from time to time are what actually contributes most to our own personal growth. If things were great at all times, people would never pick up any spiritual lessons and life would remain rather stagnant with no motivation to make things better.

Also remember that the people who on the surface you might perceive to have a better life than yours or perhaps have been born into better circumstances than yourself might face their own unique set of challenges and problems that you are not aware of. No one’s life is perfect so it is important to continue to focus on your own personal path and develop your own coping mechanisms when you are faced with a challenge. At the end of the day, it is up to you to build the inner strength that you have the mental capacity to overcome anything because guess what–you can and you will as long as you have the positive mindset to back that belief up! 😉

Learn To Love the Body You Are Born With

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While there are societal pressures to look a certain way or to have the “perfect” body, realistically, we all know that there is no such thing as a perfect body. What one might perceive as perfect might vary from another person’s definition of perfect so we should not care so much about what other people think and focus more on how we perceive ourselves. If you learn to love your body, it will build your confidence levels and help in developing an overall positive body image. Aside from visual aesthetics, everyone should proactively opt to live a healthy lifestyle which means incorporating a healthy diet along with daily exercise. There are endless benefits when you take the time to take care of yourself and this most certainly includes taking care of your body.

It makes me sad when I see people go through extreme measures to look a certain way or to feel good about their bodies when people should genuinely be grateful for and embrace the body they were born with. It is natural to find flaws but it should be just as natural to look for one’s own personal assets because everyone is born with something to be proud of. It is what makes us unique as individuals and we are all born with our own special set of DNA. We should not feel pressured to conform to unrealistic beauty standards which oftentimes is an illusion and/or try to look like someone else. While I understand that some might find the need to turn to plastic surgery in order to make the changes to feel good inside, some of these procedures can be dangerous to one’s health over time and do not really fix the inner problem which comes down to a self esteem issue. Before making any dramatic decisions in regards to one’s appearance, it is much better in the long run to work on the INTERNAL issues by working on building self esteem that can be generated by things other than one’s outer appearance such as expanding a career, starting a new hobby, and/or pursuing new goals that can bring success, happiness, and personal growth in life.

The Smart Way for Women to Determine Their Relationship Status Without Having to Ask – (It’s Not What You Think)

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In the dating world, I would say women often find themselves in situations where they are casually dating a man who they really like and while he may be giving all the signs that he is interested, there is one crucial gray area that is left uncertain–Are you both exclusively dating aka in a committed relationship? When a woman finds herself uncertain, it is natural that after a certain amount of time, she has “the talk” with the guy to see if they are on the same page and whether or not this “relationship” (in quotes because it is not confirmed just yet if it is a real relationship or not) has a future. While there is nothing wrong with wondering and wanting to have this conversation with a man, more often than not, if you are left in total confusion despite the so-called positive signs, there is a huge chance that the answer is NO. Reason being, when you are with the right person, things naturally progress as time goes on and there should not be any uncertainty in terms of where you stand in a man’s life. If you are dating a man who puts you in a mental state where you actually have to confront him and ask, then this is probably NOT the man for you. If you still believe that there is a chance and it is worth pursuing “the talk,” just be prepared that the outcome could go either way. If you are okay with potentially setting yourself up for total rejection, then by all means ask–even though it is already pretty predictable that the answer is probably going to be a no already. So instead of ASKING for clarification, there are much better ways to go about getting answers without coming off as needy and emotionally dependent on the man to validate that this very well is a serious relationship. The question is, how?

You need to put yourself in a dating situation where the MAN has to ask YOU what the status is and he is left to wonder, “Does this girl like me and want to pursue a relationship with me?” Your perception is everything so if you believe that a man should be asking you these questions instead of you being the one to have to ask, then you need to take the right actions in order to essentially FLIP THE TABLE on the guy where he is pursuing you while also being left wondering if you will commit to him. There are actually many things you can proactively do in order to create this dating scenario.

Date Multiple People at the Same Time – When a woman meets someone new and who she really likes, she tends to put all her eggs in one basket and dates this guy exclusively by giving him girlfriend privileges without establishing that she is even in a relationship with this guy. As far as I am concerned, if you are casually dating and there are no labels or discussions about a future, consider yourself SINGLE. Seriously. It is better to NOT assume that you are in a committed relationship with this guy, despite how much you like him and to go about your daily life which could include meeting up with other men. This is not cheating if you are only dating casually because for all you know, he could be doing the same thing too. There is nothing wrong with keeping your options OPEN ladies! It is best to date around which gives you the upper hand in your dating life and to also see who really is left standing at the end. The right person is going to want to commit to you at the end of the day and remember that this could take time so just be patient with the process and create an abundant dating life for yourself for the time being. This way, you are not left dwelling on the one man who might not even be so serious about you to begin with.

Don’t Be So Available – I see it all the time where women give so much of their time and literally jump through hoops for a man’s attention. For example, just because a guy calls you at a certain time everyday does not mean you are obligated to take the call 100% of the time. This is a huge mistake in my opinion. I understand that it is good to keep the connection going but by always being by the phone signals to the man that you are always ready to take his calls at the drop of a hat and you might not have much of a life which is not all too attractive. Generally speaking, being TOO giving, especially in the very beginning oftentimes has the OPPOSITE effect in the long run. Why? It conveys emotional neediness, dependency issues, and potentially a lack of self love. I say that because there should be a relatively equal give and take within a relationship as opposed to someone giving up all their time and energy so easily and so soon. A woman who lacks self love will often make a ton of sacrifices even if that means sacrificing their own best interests just to keep the man in the picture. This is not a good habit and something to be mindful of! If you are busy, it is okay to express that because the guy should be understanding of your time and know that you will eventually get back to him when you are available again. This also establishes healthy boundaries from the start which is a good thing.

Less is Always More – The less you do, the more you gain! Ladies, please trust me on this basic principle even if it sounds counterintuintive! Let me give you an example. Have you ever noticed that the men whom you have very little interest in or perhaps a pesky ex who does not get the hint that it is over will chase you constantly when you are not even responding or doing a thing to show that you are interested? They keep persisting even though in many cases, you want nothing to do with them? There is a reason for this. By ignoring them, it is creating a motivating force from within to pursue you even more and to work even harder to gain any ounce of your time and validation. It is for this reason that you should apply this same principle to the actual people who you DO like. I am not saying to outright ignore the guy at all times but what I am saying is to not go out of your way to be the first one to text how his day is going or to form a connection. Again, you need to leave HIM wondering what you are up to. Don’t be scared that if there are long gaps of space between your interactions, then he will forget about you–quite the contrary. If he is interested, he will be thinking about you even more and will probably go out of his way to keep the connection going–which is a good sign. If you notice that he continues to reduce his level of contact as time goes on, then you have your answer and can happily move on. Remember that when someone is genuinely interested, providing space is not going to deter the person from pursuing, it will actually do the opposite by keeping the attraction up and propelling the person to take action in order to fill the gaps.

Quiet Confidence – Why It Is Attractive AF and How to Obtain It

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Many people associate confident people to be the ones who make a grand entrance and/or stand out amongst a crowd. They might enjoy seeking attention from everyone around them along with being very popular. While these people can be labeled as confident, the truth of the matter is–that might not always be the case. These same people might be in desperate need of social validation in order to feel loved and good about themselves which shows that underneath the surface, they are actually deeply insecure individuals.

This leads me to the topic of what I call “quiet confidence” where someone is confident but might not come off that way because he/she does not have a showy personality and is quiet by nature. You won’t hear this person brag or try to show off to others that they are attractive, smart, etc. because they already know inside that this is the case so there is zero need to flaunt it to those around them. That is not to say that they don’t acknowledge their successes and greatness to others, it is just that they have a more modest approach to life and do not need to be the center of attention in order to raise their confidence levels. Personally, I find people who are quietly confident to be super attractive. They actually stand out more to me and pique my interest because they are not trying as hard to obtain validation from others and are not the loudest people in a room. There are definitely ways to become more quietly confident that can be shared here.

Eliminate Bragging to Others – As I pointed out earlier, a person who has amazing qualities does not need to say so because it goes without saying. In other words, let others be the ones to point out why you are awesome as opposed to trying to sell to everyone that you are because it can come off that you do not truly believe it yourself which is why you need to prove to others that you are a certain way or on the other hand, that you are a conceited individual.

Don’t Overshare Your Life – I never like to be judgmental but if I have to be honest–I find those who constantly feel the need to overshare what they are doing all the time and who go out of their way to showcase how perfect their lives are tend to either be a total narcissist or someone who is attention seeking which are both rather negative traits to possess. It is nice to share some highlights but overdoing it can come off the wrong way and also show an emotional neediness which is far from being quietly confident.

Focus on Your Own Personal Path to Happiness – People tend to be so influenced by what they see other people doing which detracts from their own personal path to happiness. You need to ask yourself, “what brings me joy?” and then actually go out and pursue those things. Who really cares what everyone else is doing, it matters more what you are doing and how you choose to steer the direction of your life! Those who are quietly confident just do their own thing without really caring about impressing others while they continue to follow their own path because they are confident about their life choices and where their personal path leads.

Don’t Be Too Outcome Dependent – 3 Ways to Prevent This From Happening

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It is natural to set goals and to get attached to the final outcome of the things that we desire most. While you should continue to focus on achieving your goals and manifesting everything that you want in your lifetime, it is important to not become too outcome dependent where you feel let down or disappointed when you do not immediately receive what you want. This can cause people to give up altogether or to feel bad inside because they are not getting the results that they are asking for. The truth of the matter as I point out time and time again–most valuable things take TIME! If you understand this basic principle, then there is no reason to feel bad about yourself or that you have to quit working towards your goals. Instead, you should feel more EMPOWERED knowing that what you want is on the way. Here are some tips to help prevent you from becoming too outcome dependent while also possessing the mental strength that is needed to help you continue to turn your desires into a reality.

Practice Patience – It is essential to stay patient and if you find yourself losing patience, take this as an opportunity to work on this area of your life. Be proactive with your intent to enjoy the present moment while practicing patience. You have to cherish your present life as it unfolds into your future and be patient knowing that your future is getting brighter each and every day. Sometimes that means that you might encounter a few setbacks along the way or there could be moments where it feels like life is stagnant but never let this mentally cloud your mind into believing that what you want is out of your reach. Again, all amazing things do very well take time so be extra patient when it comes to the time it takes in reaching your manifestations.

Consistent Action – If you do not take any action, you are never going to progress or get any results. That is why you need to be super consistent with your efforts and take the action that is needed to get what you want. Even if that means that you are not seeing any progression at the present moment, remember that if you continue to keep doing what you are doing, it will all lead to the greater good and eventually lead to the results that you are looking for. It is important to keep showing up and staying self motivated when it comes to doing whatever action that is necessary to get to your end goal. If you want something bad enough then giving up is NEVER an option!

Continue to Trust the Process – I know I preach this concept quite often but that is because I find that most people fail to trust the process and are clouded with lots of negative thoughts along with uncertainty. Uncertainty is the OPPOSITE of trust. It is natural to feel uncertain in regards to different areas of your life and the rate in which it is progressing but you need to stay mentally strong and TRUST that everything is okay and that you are on a path that is leading to your most desired outcomes. As I put it, you need to mentally believe that whatever it is that you want is “in the bag” meaning that it is inevitable that you will possess it–no matter how long it takes. Don’t forget that when you “trust the process” that you are CERTAIN that whatever it is that you are looking to receive will arrive within your future.

5 Tips for Choosing the Best Photos For an Online Dating Profile

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When it comes to online dating, there is no denying that people are going to scroll through your photos and base their decision on whether or not you appear to be a good match simply just by looking at your photos. Some people won’t even take the time to read your content so that is why you should put some effort in choosing the best photos that not only highlight your best features but also convey what you are like in real life. It can be hard to determine which photos are best but here are some helpful tips to help you put your best face forward so to speak if you decide to pursue online dating.

Make Sure Your Photos are Current – I personally believe that people should only post photos of themselves from the past six months. When I used to have a dating profile, I made sure everything fell within the six month mark because the best representation of yourself is your current self. How often have you or have you met someone that said that they went on a date with someone who looked nothing like their photos or that their photos looked like they were taken as far as a decade ago? I understand most people tend to look their best in their younger years but it is always best to display images that are recent so that if you ever do end up meeting in person, you are still recognizable from the photos that you shared.

Feature a Mix of Face and Full Body Photos – Although it might go without saying, many people often fail to showcase photos of themselves that include both their face and their full body. I think it is important to show both to convey transparency and so that people have a better sense of how you look if you were to meet up in person. If you are not in as good shape as you used to be, it is still better to show what you look like now than before so that the other person does not feel that you falsely advertised what you look like.

Choose Photos that Convey Your Interests – It is a good idea to post photos with backgrounds to show your interests and passions in life. For example, if you love to ski, then think about posting some photos of yourself during your last ski trip. If you love music, it doesn’t hurt to post photos of yourself from a concert that you went to. Chances are, someone with the same interests will be more intrigued in getting to know you better just based upon some of your shared interests.

Avoid Overly Revealing Photos – It is common to see people post revealing photos which can give off the wrong impression along with sending the wrong message to anyone who is looking at them. It can convey that a person is attention seeking or just looking for a cheap hook up. Even if that’s not the case, unfortunately, that’s how it can be interpreted. To avoid sending mixed messages or giving off a negative first impression, it is much wiser to shy away from posting those types of photos in its entirety.

When in Doubt, Ask For a Second Opinion – If you are unsure if the photos that you are posting are good enough to post, it does not hurt to ask a friend or someone who you are close to for their honest feedback. A photo that you might find flattering, someone might point out that you can post an even better photo which is why it never hurts to ask for a second opinion.

Cardio or Weight Lifting? – What Would I Choose if I Could Only Pick One

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When it comes to fitness, there is no denying that daily exercise has many positive effects on your life including extending your longevity, preventing serious health problems, boosting your mood, enhancing your physical attractiveness, etc. I cannot say enough positive things about working out and have been dedicated to living a healthy and active lifestyle since I was a teenager.

Not everyone has the time to work out everyday or as often as they would like; however, if you make your health and wellness a top priority, you can definitely find a way to incorporate it into your lifestyle whether that means waking up earlier to squeeze in a workout or maybe at night after a long work day. Remember that whatever that works for you is great and that it is extra beneficial if you can be consistent with how often you exercise. The question is, what is better for you–cardio or weight lifting? The obvious answer is BOTH! I think that it is important to put in time to do cardiovascular exercises such as running, swimming, biking, etc. in order to keep your heart healthy and to prevent excess weight from accumulating over time. However, the weight lifting aspect of working out is what keeps your body lean and tight which ultimately sculpts your physique so that you have nice curves and more developed muscles. So although I will always preach to do BOTH, if you have to choose one to focus on more than the other, I would absolutely always choose WEIGHT LIFTING! Of course, keep in mind that everyone’s health goals and bodies are built differently but regardless, I don’t think you can go wrong with adding weight lifting into your fitness routine. Personally, I find weight lifting to feel good both mentally and physically. I know women often worry about bulking up but most women’s bodies are designed to actually become more fit and lean as opposed to men who are able to bulk up more easily. Keep in mind that your diet is also a huge component when it comes to staying in shape, so do not forget to pair your workouts with a good food schedule and nutrition plan which will only enhance your results and all your fitness efforts!

Dating Advice for Men – Build Intimacy and Invest Emotionally at the Same Time

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Last week, I wrote an article for women with some dating advice and decided to follow up this week with a dating advice blog for men. While certain advice applies to both genders, there is certain advice that is gender specific. I wrote previously about how women are motivated by relationships that lead to marriage; however, with men–it is safe to say that most men are motivated to connect with women on a physical level. There is nothing wrong with that but what creates a divide is when men rush that phase of the process and/or fail to focus on the emotional connection as well. Most women do not want to be objectified by men or feel as though that men are only looking to hook up with them. Many men make the mistake of coming on too strong physically whether that is with their actions or their words. This can easily turn off a woman in its entirety or she will just come to the conclusion that the guy is not a serious guy along with labeling him as a waste of her time and moving on to a better catch.

This leads to a very important question: How do men avoid this from happening and become the ultimate catch in the eyes of the woman of their interest? First and foremost, as I want to point out from the start, it is essential to actually BE A CATCH! From there, men can work on certain skills to improve their dating lives because as we all know–good looks, success, money, assets, etc. are never enough if a man does not know how to treat a woman. Men need to learn to also be patient with the process like women but for different reasons. They need to build intimacy slowly (in other words, do not rush the pace of their physical relationship) AND invest emotionally at the same time. It is possible to create genuine intimacy through physical touch such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing, hugging, etc. WITHOUT sex being involved. I truly believe that intimacy is the key to creating natural attraction and developing an attachment between two people which ultimately can lead to both a long term relationship and an incredibly satisfying physical one as well over time when it is supposed to. While I tell women not to rush into serious relationships, the same goes for men to stop rushing into a physical relationship with a woman without taking the proper time that is needed to actually get to know her and to bond with her by establishing a deep emotional connection first.

If you authentically like a woman and are pursuing her for the right reasons, it is important to SHOW her this by being consistent in your efforts when emotionally investing in her while building intimacy without pushing the envelope when it comes to having a physical relationship with her right away. This also creates trust and will make her feel more comfortable with you when she is ready to take the relationship to the next level. Even if she is open to exploring a physical relationship with you after a short time of knowing you, I still recommend denying her of sex to make it clear that you are not interested in her for a casual relationship and that you want to continue to better get to know each other first. In return, this will also earn more of her RESPECT towards you and most likely make her feel even more attracted to you (yes, it is amazing how reverse psychology often works as it does here). As always, remember to TRUST THE PROCESS because anything worth your while will take time so you might as well enjoy it while continuing to stay confident in your abilities to manifest your desires!