Monthly Archives: May 2022

Life is Like a Chess Game – What Is Your Next Move?

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I have always enjoyed playing the game chess because in order to be a good player, you need to be able to think a few steps ahead when you are moving the pieces in hopes to checkmate the other opponent’s king by the very end. I also like to play chess because I like games that involve strategy and that are mentally challenging. Does playing a game of chess apply to life? In my opinion, it very much does so!

When it comes to life, an important question that you should always be asking yourself is, “what is your next move?” This allows for you to think about your future and to plan the action steps that are needed to get to your desired outcome. If you choose to live day by day without looking at the bigger picture, you might end up staying stagnant in life for quite some time and you also run the risk of limiting your full potential. It is for this reason that you should always be asking what your next move is whether it be within your professional or personal life. It matters to focus on the direction that you want to go and to take the steps necessary to keep you on the right track. Whether it is a game of chess or your life, every move you make matters so think thoroughly and with a purpose!

Don’t Let Social Media Destroy Your Personal Relationships

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It is hard to imagine a time when social media did not exist because most of us rely on social media as a way to establish new connections, maintain existing ones, and to keep up to date with what’s going on in other people’s lives. While social media has its benefits, it does create problems within people’s personal relationships that probably did not exist as commonly before. With that being said, it is important to proactively not let social media destroy your personal relationships. I emphasize “proactively” because it has to be a conscious effort on your end and along with the other person in order to ensure both a healthy and strong relationship.

In order to prevent social media from ruining your relationships, I recommend blocking and/or removing any of your exes from your social media just so they do not have instant access to your page and vice versa. If a relationship is truly over, then there really is no need to see what they are up to unless you managed to establish a strictly platonic relationship or the other person has made it clear that they moved on. If you decide to keep people from your past on your social media, I think it is wise to be fully transparent with your current partner so they are aware of this and to see how they feel about the situation. Your honesty will go a long way and you might find that the other person is okay with it since you mentioned it on your own. If it makes your significant other uncomfortable, then you can have an open conversation about it and decide what’s more important to you–keeping existing relationships via social media or deleting them altogether. This is also a good test to determine if the person you currently are with is a priority in your life or not. If you choose to keep communication open with a previous ex when knowing that your current partner is not okay with it, that might be a sign that the person you are with is not someone you see a long term future with or that you are not truly over your ex. If you did believe that there was a promising future with your current partner then you would have no problem closing the door on anyone that you dated previously.

Another suggestion I could recommend is to reduce your time on social media, take a break from it, or simply get rid of it altogether. Even if you do not have exes on your social media accounts, it is not a bad idea to get rid of it because for many people, it can be a distraction and get in the way of building relationships in-person as opposed to just talking to people behind a screen all the time. You probably will find that you will also get an opportunity to add more time into your day by getting rid of your social media which will prevent yourself from mindlessly scrolling at posts on a daily basis. While social media can be a good thing, remember that it is best to use it within moderation or very sparingly in order to promote healthier relationships.

Is There Such a Thing as Being Too Frugal?

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When it comes to money, I always tell people that money management is an essential life skill. If someone makes a good salary but does not know how to keep the money in the bank, then this is definitely not in an ideal financial situation. It is for this reason that people should get better at saving their money and cutting back on their everyday spending. However, is there such a thing as being too frugal? I think too much of anything typically is not a good thing and that it is smart to find a balance with both of your money saving and spending habits.

While it is important to conserve your money, you also do not want to do so to the point where you are depriving yourself of living your life to the fullest or having everything that you desire. It is healthy to spend money on the things that you value and/or mean something to you which is why you should make it a point to do so. If you are constantly depriving yourself, that is also sending the wrong spiritual message out into the Universe that you are not deserving of nice things. Furthermore, it also on a subconscious level is hindering you from attracting abundance into your life if you are obsessed with saving every little penny because putting such strong limits on yourself comes from the belief that you cannot afford things or that you are not worthy of having something which is the total opposite of an abundance mindset. If you are faced with a lot of debt that needs to be paid off, then I would say that this is a situation where it is crucial to live within your means and to stay disciplined until you can get back on a good financial track again. There could be instances where being overly frugal might have to be the reality but it should only be a temporary one as opposed to a permanent one because as I mentioned, you are deserving of a full and happy life! 🙂

Good Health Is More Than Just Diet and Exercise

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When people think about being healthy, I would say that the first thing that comes to mind would most likely be diet and/or exercise. While I would absolutely agree that both are contributing factors to living a healthy lifestyle and extending your longevity; however, there are so many other aspects of being healthy that should not be overlooked. I made a short list of other things that people should also prioritize and balance out if needed in addition to eating healthy foods, taking health supplements, and working out. (If there is anything that I forgot to mention, be sure to share it in the comments below)!

Quality and Quantity of Sleep – I write the quality and quantity of sleep because both are equally important. It can be tough for people to fall asleep at night or clock in enough hours of sleep. As a result, that leaves people with low energy levels and over time can deteriorate one’s quality of life. Good sleep is a universal necessity that everyone can benefit from. I always recommend that if your schedule permits, find a time in the day to add a nap if needed to add some extra sleep time in your day.

Self Care (ex: skincare, personal grooming, etc.) – The way in which you take care of yourself matters and this is often a category that gets ignored due to a busy lifestyle. No matter how many professional and personal obligations that you have, it is essential to add self care to that list because taking care of yourself is a necessity! For me personally, self care can include the little things such as taking the time to wear products with sun protection during the summer months. It also means scheduling a monthly facial and/or massage. Never neglect yourself because you are your most valuable asset and deserve to be pampered!

Stress Levels – Throughout the course of our lives, it is natural that you will experience stress but it is important to try to find ways to eliminate stress in its entirety or find things to aid in reducing stress such as meditation. It is said that stress is a silent killer in people’s lives and that too much of it over time can take a serious toll on one’s life. It is for this reason that people need to try their very best to keep their stress levels at bay.

Mental Health – This often can be a taboo subject but it is definitely an aspect of life that should never be ignored. If you are not in a good place in your life, it is important to utilize the right resources to get you back on the right track. That might mean scheduling therapy sessions with a professional or going to a doctor to get a prescription. There should be no shame in seeking help when needed.

Happiness – Last but certainly not least, let’s not forget about increasing and maintaining your happiness levels. Your satisfaction with life matters and you should make this a focal point by pursuing the things that you love and eliminating the things that do not suit a purpose in your life. That might mean getting a new job, getting out of a toxic relationship, booking a vacation, and/or finding quality time to spend with your friends or family. Whatever it is that makes YOU happy, go for it! 🙂

3 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Dating People With a Lingering Past at All Costs

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Everyone has a past but the way in which we resolve our past and move forward with our future varies from person to person. By “lingering past,” I do not mean someone who has children from a previous relationship or someone that is divorced. It is possible for people to be divorced and have moved on. In addition, it is also possible for two people to be over their relationship and to be able to co-parent successfully. I am referring to people who have a past where the door is still open, communication is most likely still frequent, and/or there are unresolved feelings for someone else. It also can refer to people who might not be in constant contact with an ex but they truly are not over the breakup and if their ex were to contact them, they are ready to pick up from where they left off. These are all examples where the message is clear that the person is unable to live life in the present and are still stuck living in their past. This is a major red flag and should be avoided at all costs. Let me repeat myself, please avoid dating people with a lingering past at all costs! You might be wondering why I am so adamant about this and I can explain why.

They Probably Have Someone Else in the Back of Their Mind – Even if the person expresses that they are into you and like you very much, that does not mean much if they also feel this way towards someone else from their past. You deserve to be someone’s top priority when you are in an exclusive relationship and if you discover that you are not, then it is time for you to move on altogether. It is also selfish for the other person to be sharing their heart with more than one person which should be a good enough reason for you to want to move on.

Always the Chance That They Leave You For the Other Person – Anyone who is dating someone with an unresolved past is taking a huge emotional gamble. I say this because even though you really care for the person and they appear to feel the same towards you, it is very easy for them to leave you for an ex if they are still interested in them. It is a harsh reality but one that cannot be ignored because oftentimes this happens and the person who ends up being left with a broken heart is you if you allow yourself to get close to someone who never was fully over their ex to begin with.

Lack of Trust From the Start – It goes without saying that trust is a fundamental necessity in any healthy relationship. Personally, I think that it is tough to trust someone who has a lingering past because you never truly know what is on their mind in terms of their genuine feelings towards you plus you always have to worry in the back of your mind if they are talking to an ex in secrecy or trying to reconnect with them–whether it be emotional and/or physical (such as meeting in person). It is for this reason why this is a no go because if your instincts are telling you that there is a lack of certainty within the relationship due to their past, there is a good chance that your instincts are valid. This also leads to the underlying issue that trust is not there meaning that it is not worth making an emotional investment. As I mentioned above, these types of relationships should not begin in the first place and if you find out or get any sense that their past is not left in their past, it calls for instant termination of the relationship because ultimately there really is no “relationship.”

The Best Response to Any Compliment

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Sometimes when people are faced with a compliment, especially if it comes unexpectedly, they are unsure of how to reply accordingly. I find it is common to hear people react in two ways, both that are on opposite ends of the spectrum. One is to deflect the compliment and respond in a way that they are not really accepting the compliment. This could be due to the fact that the person is modest by nature or because they do not feel worthy of the compliment. The opposite way people could reply to a compliment is to agree with the person or to take it a step further and confidently boast that they know. While I do agree that it is good to accept a compliment, taking this as an opportunity to brag or show off is not really appropriate in my opinion. I also do not think rejecting a compliment is the right thing to do because although it is a modest response, it can make the other person feel awkward while also making the person who received the compliment appear to be insecure.

So what is the best way to respond to a compliment? Simply say, “thank you” graciously. That is all that is really necessary! It shows that you are appreciative but that it is not going to your head and that you are confident enough to accept it. While most people know to say thank you, it is not always the immediate response that one tends to give which is why it is important to train the brain to just say thank you and keep it moving. Oftentimes less is more and that most certainly applies here–after receiving a compliment.

It Does Not Matter Where You Started – You Determine the Direction of Your Path

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Oftentimes when you turn on a news station, the focus tends to be on bad news and all the negative events that are shaping the modern world that we live in today. I recognize that it can sometimes be hard to hear good news when most media outlets only highlight the bad things. Over the weekend, I was listening to a headline that caught my attention and left a lasting impression which propelled me to want to share the news in my blog this week. It was about a graduating high school senior from Paterson, New Jersey who got accepted into Harvard University. While on the surface, you might be thinking, “What’s the big deal?” For starters, this specific area in New Jersey is not the most affluent of areas and the student was raised by a single parent. While most would look at where they started and declare that they did not have the same opportunities as someone who was in a much better starting position, she did not use her childhood or socioeconomic status as setbacks but instead, realized that with hard work and dedication to her goals, she can turn her dream into a reality! This leads me to the title of this blog, one of many important facts of life–It does NOT matter where you started because YOU determine the direction of your path!

The news station I was watching interviewed Isabela Gonzalez and it was truly a beautiful story that touched my heart. She was talking about how when she was a young child, she heard of Harvard University and she was told that prestigious people such as presidents went to Harvard University. In response, naturally, she was like, “Well then I want to go to Harvard University!” Her family members laughed and then explained to her that not just anyone gets accepted and that it is one of the hardest schools to get into. Did that leave her discouraged? Nope, quite the contrary. Fast forward her life a decade later and she will be attending Harvard University this fall.

This also brings me back to the power of manifestation and what I call “planting the seed.” In this example, it is so evident that the seed had been planted in her mind as a child that she was going to go to Harvard University. She was too little to understand what that meant or the academic excellence that would be required of her to get into a school like that but it was a decision that was planted in the back of her mind and stayed there. I truly believe that her belief that she was worthy enough to go there along with her desire to go to Harvard University is what subconsciously and perhaps consciously had motivated her to put in the work that was needed to receive her acceptance letter into the school. This by no means is a sheer coincidence but exemplifies manifestation at work. Please take note here that when you “plant the seed,” the seed eventually grows as long as you water the seed or in this case, take the action that is needed to help the seed grow into a miraculous plant.

Mind you, in the article I shared above, I was reading about how fear almost crept in and she almost did not take the time to apply but that she had a teacher who pretty much said he would not supply her a teacher recommendation unless she followed through and still applied to Harvard as planned. Even though she had some moments of doubt, she had someone who told her to apply anyway which points out two other important lessons which are to always believe in yourself and to try no matter the outcome! There is an incredible amount of spiritual value and life lessons that can be taught from this wonderful story. Congratuations to Isabela Gonzalez for her success story and to an even brighter future ahead!

Manifesting Abundance – The Possibilities Are Endless When You Want Them

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It is important to live your life with what I call an abundance mindset. It is obvious to me when people live this way versus people who do not apply this way of thinking. When I say abundance, I am not referring to manifesting strictly money and/or material goods although at times that can apply like manifesting a dream house or car; however, I meant it from a spiritual point of view. It really comes down to two very valuable trains of thought.

For one, you need to recognize that we live in a world with unlimited possibilities and opportunities. There is no need to really be in competition with anyone because there is so much to go around and this applies to everything in life! This goes for jobs, relationships, housing, etc. (On a side note, in regards to housing, many areas are facing housing shortages which is driving the housing market to great heights but generally speaking, if you really look and you can be patient, then you will be able to manifest what you want when the time is right). My point is, the Universe is already filled with abundance so there is no need to ever be discouraged when you do not get something that you want at the time or ever feel that there is a shortage of anything.

Oftentimes in order for your greatest desires to be fulfilled and manifested, you need to have a driving force from within to want to obtain them. It is important to know that the opportunities exist as I mentioned previously but you need to also have that burning desire to go out and chase after what you want. I think that golden combo of knowing that there are unlimited possibilities out there paired with wanting to go out there to get them will ensure that you are able to up your manifesting abilities and also increase abundance within your life.

How Self Love Impacts Your Life on All Levels

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One of the many themes of this blog is the topic of self love. What is “self love” exactly? I would describe self love as having a good level of inner confidence along with self respect. When you possess self love, it serves as a spiritual asset to guide your life’s path and allow for you to make the right decisions in order to live your very best life. For example, when you are dating, having a high level of self love will ensure that you are not being mistreated or taken advantage of because you love yourself enough to set the right boundaries and terminate any relationship that does not best suit you. In your professional life, self love can be used as a self motivator by pushing you to strive for everything that you believe that you deserve.

If you do not feel that you are in a good place within your life, it is a good idea to examine self and determine what areas need improvement and ways in which you can increase self love. I truly believe that if you have self love, you will pursue your life with a purpose and find genuine happiness no matter what you do in the outside world because of the fact that you feel so good on the inside. It is natural to feel down every so often but if at the core, you love who you are as a person and know your self worth, you will always rise above. This is why you have to make it a point to focus on building self love because it will not only enhance you as a person but also have the capacity to enhance your life.