Monthly Archives: September 2021

“You Can Always Make Money But You Can’t Make Up for Lost Time”

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The death of Gabby Petito had not only made headlines nationally but also worldwide. Gabby’s life was cut short at the age of 22 years old and she was sadly found dead in an area out in the Bridger-Teton National Forest in Wyoming. Her death was confirmed a homicide and is a tragedy that continues to draw media attention. At her funeral, her stepfather Jim Schmidt had said, “You can always make money but you can’t make up for lost time.” This quote resonated with me and I am sure many people can agree with this. As much as we dedicate our lives to our careers and working lives, at the same time, we have to realize that there is more to life than just working and making money.

I had recently wrote an article this past summer talking about this exact topic. As I have gotten older, I definitely value quality of life (aka my personal time) over money. That’s not to say that I don’t work as hard but what it does mean is that I make an effort to make time to do the things that I LOVE! I never want life to pass me by and look back wishing I had done something that I really wanted to do. I truly do try to live life in the present as best as I can. I think everyone should take the time to pursue their interests and as the title of my blog states, “Make up the life you love.” I am not saying that work is not important or that we don’t need money. I just believe that we should find a balance where we have a healthy work life along with a healthy personal life filled with whatever makes our life feel most complete. 🙂

What to Do When Someone Tries to Make You Jealous

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There are going to be times when people go out of their way to try to make you jealous, whether it be intentional on their part or sometimes it could be done inadvertently. Whatever the case may be, there are different approaches to handle these situations. Every situation is situational in that it depends on the person (such as someone close to you or someone who is more of an acquaintance) and if it was an action or maybe a comment said to you. Regardless, first and foremost, never let someone get the best of you and give it no serious thought. In other words, just dismiss it as opposed to thinking about it to the point where it will bring you down. From there, you have some options as to how you want to go about it in terms of dealing with the person who is trying to make you jealous.

Ignore It Altogether – If someone is trying to make you jealous, chances are that this person wants to impact you negatively or wants to evoke some sort of reaction out of you. It is for this reason that it can be better psychology to just ignore it completely because the person will eventually give up this behavior if they know that you are mentally strong and that it has no effect on you whatsoever. It is kind of like the expression, “talking to a brick wall” and you’re the wall where there is absolutely no response. As a result, the other person will eventually get bored after awhile.

Call the Person Out on It – If you know the person very well, I think it is okay at times to actually call the person out on their behavior as a way to correct it. Sometimes people truly are not self aware enough to realize how something they said or done to make someone jealous is inappropriate, rude, hurtful, etc. Although it might feel a little uncomfortable to confront someone, I don’t think it hurts to speak up because you might actually be doing the person a favor so that they do not continue to do this–not only to you but to others.

Consider Cutting This Person Out of Your Life – I know this sounds harsh but if there is someone within your social circle who has developed a pattern of trying to stir up feelings of jealousy onto you, I would strongly question why this person is in your life to begin with. I understand if the person is a co worker whom you see daily that it might be hard to let this person go or if the person is a family member, then this could also be a challenge; however, you can at the very least limit your contact with this person. On the other hand, if this is a person whom you choose to have as a part of your life such as a friend or significant other, I think it might be a good time to reassess if this person is worth keeping close to you.

5 Signs You’re Not With the Right Partner

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When looking for a life partner, there may come times when you question whether or not you should stay in your current relationship. Although I can probably think of a more extensive list as to signs to look for when determining if it’s time to end a relationship, I came up with my top five list. The list below should help you to decide if the relationship is worth pursuing or whether or not it is meant to last over time.

There Are Way Too Many Things to Fix – If you find that you’re with someone who you want to change many things about them, this person simply is not the one. Of course the person you are with will not possess everything you are looking for; however, if the person is missing many things that you’re looking for in a life partner then you should consider moving on because ideally you want to be with someone who you can accept the person for who they are including both their good and bad traits. For example, if you can’t stand their eating habits or how they manage their money, rather than trying to change them, find a person who is more aligned with how you choose to live your life. Why settle on a “fixer upper relationship” where you constantly have to change the person and shape them into your dream partner? It just isn’t worth it! I have a better idea: Why don’t you break it off for good and keep the door open for your dream partner to come into your life?

Your Partner Is Not Over Their Ex – For me personally, this is a huge deal breaker. Think about it, why waste your time dating someone who can’t stop talking about their past and is not completely over their ex? You should want to build a future with someone who is fully in the present with you and doesn’t have a lingering past that they are still currently living in. If you notice that the person you are with does not seem to have healed from their last relationship, rather than continuing to date in hopes that they will get over their ex over time, it probably is best to not invest any of your time with this person until you know that they are ready to move forward.

Lack of Trust – I think it goes without saying that you should not be with someone who you do not trust or has betrayed your trust at some point during the course of your relationship. Although you might be able to forgive and forget, it is often tough to totally trust the person again depending on the depth of deception. I also want to point out, if the person has trust issues against you with no real justification for it, this is another indication that it is not worth it to stay because you will constantly have to walk on eggshells to prove that you can be trusted which can get really exhausting over time if you’re being challenged on a daily basis.

Other Options In the Back of Your Mind – If the thought of someone else ever comes to your mind or if you would be open to giving your number to a stranger if they asked, you definitely are not with the right person. When you are with the person you truly care about, you wouldn’t look at anyone else in a romantic way. You also would not even consider giving your personal information to someone else because you are happily taken and only have love for the person you are with. If you find that you are open to the idea of spending time with another person who isn’t your partner, that should be a strong indicator that you need to break it off altogether as opposed to settling on someone who isn’t your most desired match.

You Just Don’t See a Future With This Person – Sometimes it can take time to see if your partner’s life and yours can merge into a future together. If you’re at a point where you just don’t see your life paths going in the same direction, then despite how strongly you might feel for this person, it might be better to end the relationship. For example, if your partner only plans to live in a city and you can’t see yourself making this life change, then there is no future unless one can make a compromise. In addition, if you don’t envision yourself being with this person in the next few years, you need to question the reason you feel this way and this feeling might give you the clarity that’s needed to find a better suited life partner that you can actually see a future with.

Don’t Change Your Goals – Change Your Action Plan

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As we set goals throughout our lifetimes, there may be times where we feel stagnant and that they are way out of our reach. It might be easier to give up all together or to scale back our initial goals. However, you should never give up on your dreams and the things that you want to achieve. First and foremost, It is important to stay focused on the end result and to be patient with the process. Progression is expected to take time. In addition, one must examine the action steps they are taking and seeing if there needs to be a CHANGE in the actual plan. Some goals require you to think outside of the box and will challenge you to think of alternative ways to fulfill them. This is a positive thing because with added challenges come growth and ultimately the results you are striving towards.

So before you give up, please take a closer look at your approach. Your approach might just need to be tweaked a bit to get you back on the right path to manifesting your desires. People often get discouraged by how much time it can take but again, this can be expected. If you actually believe that what you want can become a reality, then naturally you will do whatever it takes to get there. So aside from time, always remember that taking action is a necessity and that sometimes you will need to change up your action plan.

If your goal is something that can be measured then I recommend tracking your progress in order to measure your results over time. This will keep you more focused and determined to actually work towards taking the action needed to ensure that you obtain your goals. We are all fully capable of making great things happen, so never lose sight of your vision or lower the standard of your goals. You just need to keep believing, take action, and switch up your action plan when needed.

How Often Should You Count Your Lucky Stars?

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I often like to preach the subject of gratitude throughout my blog and it is something I think people either do or they don’t. Some people do it on a more conscious level while for others it can be done more on a subconscious level. For me personally, I believe I do it on a subconscious level on a daily basis. It becomes more of a conscious practice when I recognize that something I wanted to manifest has been received or when I’m in a bad situation where things were not nearly that bad after all and I think to myself, “Wow, I’m incredibly lucky that things weren’t worse than it is.”

So how often should you count your lucky stars? At all times! You should always be thankful for even the smallest of things. As I mentioned, even during bad times or misfortune, take the time to dig deep and find the silver lining along with acknowledging what you are still grateful for. When people complain to me about their life and what they are lacking, I will take the time to listen but then turn it around to all the things that they do have to shift their perception that life isn’t so bad after all. It is okay to vent and it is okay to feel down when things don’t seem to be going your way; however, it is essential to remain positive and know that things are going to get better.

I always like to point out that being grateful attracts more abundance into your life. Do you think it is a coincidence that some people always seem to have everything going for them? Absolutely not. This is not a coincidence, these are the people who are practicing gratitude and are thankful for what they have which allows for them to be in constant receiving mode from the Universe to keep on receiving. It is an amazing spiritual process that anyone can pick up if they possess an abundant mindset that is open to infinite possibilities and opportunities.

I cannot stress enough the importance of counting your lucky stars, in other words, simply being grateful as often as you can! For those who have trouble doing this or find that they naturally complain more than they practice gratitude, then I recommend creating an actual Gratitude journal. Each day, take the time to write some things you are currently grateful for. It can be general like, “I’m thankful for my loving family and good health” or something specific such as, “I am grateful for being given a potential new job opportunity and acing my interview today.” The great thing is, there’s no such thing as a wrong answer and this is totally personal to YOU! You get to choose what resonates most with you and what you are most appreciative of. Once you get into this practice, you might no longer need to physically write things down as it will become a habit over time that will sink into your subconscious mind. Whatever system that works for you, just do it–it’s never too late to start!

If Someone Walks Away – Let Them Walk

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I know I have written something along the lines of this topic previously and it actually to this day still receives the most amount of hits on my blog. It is rewarding to know that people find the message to be valuable and one in which I could only hope that people apply to life and take seriously. Basically the message is this: If someone walks away, let them walk. On the surface, this might come across as harsh or unnecessary. However, it is necessary if you want to move forward within your personal life and start a new chapter that leads to freedom and happiness along with a better future. TOO OFTEN I see people chasing after people who will never value them in return or are holding onto a false hope that their ex will miraculously walk back into their lives again and that they can just “live happily ever after.” Although there might be instances where an ex comes back, usually it is just for the short term because the initial problems that existed tend to arise again because they were never fully resolved the first time.

I understand that there are various reasons to explain why people can’t let go. Many people want to try and make things work because they simply aren’t over the person but it is important to know that time does heal everything. You need to provide yourself ample time and space away from the person to move on. I also recognize that for some, people stay with someone out of convenience and comfort; however, that is never really the right reason to keep a relationship because that essentially is just settling. There are also people who believe that they will never find a better match for themselves but that is definitely not case as I already know that this person is not a good match if they cannot even reciprocate their love for you in return. Regardless of the reason, the outcome still has not changed: The person walked away. Think about it, why choose someone who does not choose you in return? That in and of itself should be the strong deciding factor in your mind as to why you do not want to be with this person either.

It is for this reason why you should develop an ‘all or nothing’ mindset when approaching your personal relationships. If someone is not investing their ALL in you, then you should want NOTHING from this person in return. Please stop settling on someone who is inconsistent with their intent in regards to being with you or someone that’s here today but gone tomorrow. You want to be with someone who is showing up everyday and is there for you through the good and the bad and more importantly, accepts you for who you are. People tend to hold onto any form of validation that exists (even when it is minimal) to justify why they like the person or to create a strong belief that this person likes them back. [On a side note, some people are just genuinely nice people which might make them appear as though they are attracted to you but that should not be confused with them having mutual feelings of romantic interest. It is possible for someone to be extremely nice to you but not be interested whatsoever].

As incredibly hard as it might be in the beginning to let someone go in its entirety, just know that you are doing the right thing for both yourself and the other person. In order to make this a smoother process, you have to remember two things. One–You deserve to be with someone who isn’t going to walk away from you. Two–You need to truly believe that a better suited partner exists. Many seem to forget that there are plenty of options in the Universe and that this one person is not the only person whom you will form a connection with. It is essential that you keep your mind open to the possibilities and in your heart know that you will find everything you are looking for and much more. There is no reason to turn back so just let the people who walk away to completely walk away from you so that you can clear the path for the right person to walk into your life. ❤

Reflecting on 9/11 – 20 Years Later — A Revelation on Perception and a Deeper Appreciation for Life

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I remember last September in 2020 thinking to myself, I cannot believe that the 20 year anniversary of 9/11 is a year from now. Fast forward to 2021 and the 20 year anniversary since the series of terrorist attacks against the United States is now just days away. It has been weighing on my mind quite heavily since the start of September which is why it only comes natural for me to take the time to write about it. I am still in disbelief that this tragic event had happened then and now two decades ago. Backtracking to 20 years ago, I was only in high school–old enough to process what happened but too young to truly understand the severity of the event and its impact not only on those directly affected but the historical impact it had on the entire world. Little did I know then, what I do now is that I was experiencing a significant moment within modern day American history. Who knew that this was a day that forever would be acknowledged on its anniversary each and every year? Who knew that this was a day that many people will never forget where they were at the time that it happened?

I remember vividly being in a Psychology class and having the TV on to see live coverage of the World Trade Center going up in flames (one tower followed by the second one less than 20 minutes later) which initially appeared to happen quite mysteriously before later discovering the terrifying truth. What I don’t remember as clearly is my actual reaction to what I was seeing. Of course there were a range of mixed emotions and immediate feelings of shock, fear, sadness, and uncertainty. However, as I think about it today, I came to the revelation that although our perception may fundamentally stay the same, it often can change a great amount as we age and go through more life experiences. In this specific scenario, my perception from then to now is the same in that the way in which I felt about what had happened on 9/11 is very much how I feel about it now. However, what has changed is that I care more about it now than I did then–now that I’ve experienced 20 more years of life since it happened. I actually have taken the time to watch some TV documentaries and done my own research on the event where it is like experiencing it all over again with a new set of eyes. I know much more about it now and have seen even more footage as compared to when it was unfolding on television. When you are young, your mind is still developing and your perception is bound to change over time. I actually empathize on a higher level and imagine what it was like to be personally affected by the events of 9/11. Twenty years ago, despite always having the capacity to empathize, it was not at the same intensity because I was too young to really relate to what was going on or understand how traumatic it actually was.

As much as I am one to leave the past in the past, I recognize the importance of reflecting on the past as a way to measure our own self development and to shape the future. After 9/11 occurred, you better believe that airport security was increased in hopes of preventing anything as detrimental to ever happen again. At the time, I believe people began to value their life more and not take a single day for granted as the realization that tomorrow is never guaranteed was proven on September 11, 2001 when thousands of innocent lives were lost. Even though I was much too young to really acquire this takeaway at the time, it is something I think about twenty years later–to appreciate life and be thankful for each and every day.

Why Honesty Is Always the Best Policy – Even When the Truth Hurts Sometimes

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As the common saying goes, “Honesty is the best policy.” While not everyone might believe this to be the case, I think it is important to consider the benefits of being honest. To me, I look at honesty as a way of displaying authenticity as an individual while also being transparent. Transparency is an incredibly important trait because it is valuable knowing that what you see in someone is truly how they are. However, you will tend to notice that many people are not always true to themselves or that they lack the ability to be honest with others. Even though we understand that being honest is a positive characteristic, why do people often struggle with this?

I think what prevents most people from being transparent with their interactions with others or from being completely honest is that they fear that they can hurt people’s feelings within the process or that people will dislike them for it. What people need to understand is that you are actually HURTING people when you are dishonest as opposed to being honest. Perhaps initially, someone might not react favorably when the honest truth is negative; however, you are helping someone by providing the truth, even if the truth can hurt sometimes. In addition, you are gaining someone’s trust and respect when you opt to be honest. Trust me, I never like to hurt people’s feelings either but I recognize that it is a huge injustice to someone if I were to sugarcoat the truth or lie to someone as a way to protect their feelings. It is important to always look at the bigger picture and know that being honest builds trust and that the truth is of higher value in the long run despite any immediate tension or discomfort that it could cause from within yourself or onto someone else. Given the choice, remember to choose honesty because it truly always is the best policy.

“Your Direction Is More Important Than Your Speed”

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I actually came across this quote on an Instagram caption and liked it enough to google it first to see that it is an actual quote. The quote is, “Your direction is more important than your speed.” I could not agree more with this. I feel like we live in a world where everything is about instant gratification and everyone is in a rush to get what they want right now. What people do not understand is, many amazing things take time and the process should NOT be rushed. What is the point in moving fast when you’re not going in the right direction?

There needs to be a greater focus on DIRECTION. As we all know, life can go in many directions. Where do you want to go? Is your life going in that direction? From there, if you are following that path, you need to trust that you will get to the end result or achieve that goal. Once I commit to the direction that I am going, there is no need to be asking “when” because I know that I am on my right path and understand that everything that I desire to manifest most will happen…when it is supposed to. People often stress over time and not having what they want at the time that they want; however, that has the opposite effect on your outcome. Why? Stress and lack of trust are both negative energies to put out into the Universe. Positive energy requires CERTAINTY (again trust) on your end along with PATIENCE (not worrying on the speed in which it happens).

I recognize that certain things in life require deadlines and that can be expected. However, also keep in mind that not everything has to have a deadline. As I said before, many of the greatest things in life do indeed take time. The process in getting there is even more enjoyable when you take the time to actually appreciate it as opposed to rushing to the finish line.