Monthly Archives: June 2021

Quality Time vs. Money – What’s More Valuable?

As adults, we spend much of our lives working and developing our careers in order to build wealth and financial security. I am definitely all for working hard and making a lot of money but at the same time, I don’t think money is everything. Yes, money can buy many material goods and is needed to pay the bills but over time, I have discovered that quality time is much more valuable in the long run. Quality time to me means having the luxury to do the things that you enjoy such as pursuing your favorite hobbies and spending time with the people you care about most. The way in which we choose to spend our quality time really is personal to all of us and can also vary throughout the course of our lifetime. (Hey, it is never too late to pick up a new hobby!)

However, I will admit that the catch 22 of the situation is that you sort of need to have financial security (money) to buy you more quality time. By that I mean, in order to have more freedom and time, one must really have the money in the bank to be able to do what you want without having to constantly be working in order to make the money. That is why I cannot stress the importance of striking the right balance between work while also setting up free time for yourself. Working a crazy amount of hours might mean extra money in the bank but if you do not have the free time to enjoy it, is it really worth it? On the other hand, utilizing more of your free time without bringing money in is also not the way to live as it’s an added stress when you cannot make enough money to pay your monthly expenses.

When you’re much younger, sometimes it is necessary to really put in the extra work while you have the energy and are more dependent on working towards financial security which means less quality time to dedicate towards your passions; however, I can tell you from my personal experience, it is actually worth it (later)! That is not to say I was not having fun in my youth, I still think I managed to find a balance but I definitely made many sacrifices in order to comfortably build financial independence which now has paid off in giving me the opportunity to have more free time where I can afford to work less than I did before and allot more free time for myself. Working will always be very important to me as I look at it more for providing me a sense of purpose in which I will continue to be dedicated to my profession; however, I am not in a position where I am working incessantly in order to get by. It is wise to strive towards both financial security AND putting time aside for yourself but it’s good knowing that financial security will often provide you the quality time you deserve. Nowadays, I can take a step back and relax a bit to enjoy more quality time that is separate from my work life thanks to all the times I put in the extra work previously. Often you might find that you need to work harder in the beginning in order to earn quality time in the future. Trust me, it’s worth it! ๐Ÿ™‚

This is a photo that was taken of me yesterday on my day off. Quality time is valuable, so let’s all find a way to enjoy it!

Learn To Read the Signs – A Change in Behavioral Patterns Often Dictate the Truth

When it comes to trying to understand others, people naturally tend to develop patterns that are consistent over time. For example, when you send a text to someone you are close to, you generally have a sense of when they are going to get back to you (rather instantly or perhaps in a few hours) and the way in which they correspond with you. Some people might write a series of short messages whereas someone might take the time to write one long message. The use of emojis is a pattern as well with some people using them frequently, not at all, or every so often. My point is, after getting to know someone, you start to pick up on subtle patterns and know what you can expect from this person.

I generally believe that patterns are a very good thing because they create emotional security and reliability where what you see is what you get. Patterns set up certain standards that you will form about the other person. Personally, I do not have the patience for people who are inconsistent with their communication style and who are rather unpredictable; however this is a pattern that I recognize can be a foundation within one’s personality. Meaning that if this is the way some people are, this is still a part of their pattern of being more spontaneous and unstructured–essentially this is who they are as people. In other words, don’t mistake spontaneity as not being a pattern, it definitely can be classified as one if this person is spontaneous on the regular.

I recommend paying attention to an individual’s behavioral patterns because this can often indicate many things about this person such as their character, personality traits, values, feelings towards you, etc. They are always very telling if you take the time to examine them. When there is a major change in one’s behavioral pattern, you need to keep your eyes open and collect these emotional cues as usually there are more than one (it can be either good or bad) in better understanding the truth. I don’t think there is much room for people to be blindsided by others because if one takes the time to simply notice a shift in behavior, it is actually quite clear the outcome. I’m not saying that it’s impossible to get blindsided, of course there are rare occasions where it can happen but what I am saying is that it can easily be prevented if you are sensing a change in one’s behavior. Sometimes the emotional cues can be very indistinct but they tend to always be there. Unfortunately, I think people’s perception can often blind people from the truth. Perception is NOT always the reality–I once read somewhere that reality is reality. I do agree with this statement. If someone is treating you differently than what you were once used to, take these signs at face value because this is the present reality. I don’t care how things once were, you have to be living in the present moment and not your past. You also cannot ignore the signs and think to yourself, “Oh this is temporary” or “It doesn’t really mean anything is different.” By thinking this way, you will be left blindsided which is why it is important to catch when someone’s patterns change as soon as they begin to happen.

Control Your Destiny By Making It Happen – One Day At a Time

I took a photo of this sign this morning created by a high school graduate.

This morning I attended a high school graduation ceremony where I found a ton of handmade signs displayed throughout the campus. While many focused on congratulating the Class of 2021, I could not help but notice a sign that read, “Stop waiting for things to happen, go out and make them happen.” I took a moment to snap a photo of it so I could post it onto my blog because it’s definitely both a powerful and motivating message.

I value that it is a rather straightforward statement and one that anyone can apply to one’s own life. People need to learn to create opportunities and attract positive life experiences by actually going out there and making them happen. If you just sit around and expect opportunities to knock on your door, then the people who actually are going out there to grab them are always going to be the ones who obtain the opportunity before you do.

Every action step you take is always better than no action at all. It is amazing that a collection of actions can add up and really create an impact over time. Never get discouraged by the process and the time it takes to get to the end goal because it is worth it in the long run. Everyone is capable of achieving great things but it is always up to the individual to determine the quality and the quantity. We all can create a bright and beautiful destiny–all it takes is taking the action necessary to make it happen which can be done by taking it one day at a time.

“Don’t Settle For Less Just Because It’s Available”

The title of this post is actually something I discovered at random on an Instagram caption yesterday and I googled it out of intrigue to see that this is an existing quote in which I wanted to share and reflect upon with my readers. How often have we heard the common expression, “Don’t settle for less than you deserve?” Although I do agree with this and believe we as individuals are the ones determining what we deserve versus what is unacceptable, I actually like this quote even better: “Don’t settle for less just because it’s available.”

The reason why I want to expound on this quote is because it tends to be human nature for people to settle on things simply based on its availability–jobs, relationships, etc. I understand on the one hand that we should accept any opportunities that come our way once they present themselves but what if we every so often turned down what’s available (aka convenient, easy, and perhaps comfortable) to see what else is out there along with striving for something even better? The reason being that availability is NOT ENOUGH! Let’s not settle for something just based on its availability and dig deeper as to what we really want and take the time needed to manifest it.

The key behind manifestation all begins with your mindset–above anything else. It is up to you to keep your mind strong, positive, and focused on what you want to achieve in your lifetime. We all have one life to live, so why can’t it be to our level of extraordinary? Be mindful that the things that are most worth your while are going to require time, patience, discipline, and much more–it is not merely a collection of positive thoughts in your head as there needs to be action to back it up but it certainly is the right start because thoughts do very well become things.

Never lose sight that life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. I will write it again: Life is full of an infinite amount of positive outcomes. If you are aware that this is one of life’s many truths and believe this statement with conviction then you will always attract abundance into your life and not be in a position where settling on availability is your only option. Trust me, we live in a world where there are plenty of options (an infinity actually) ๐Ÿ™‚ so keep your mind open to what’s out there–even if that means that it is not available just yet at the present moment because the best is yet to come.

The Pros and Cons of Telling Someone That You Like Them

When you come across someone who you genuinely like, there comes a time where you might wonder if you should take it a step further and say something to this person or if you are better off not saying a word. Everyone’s dating life is situational, so there truly is not a one size fits all answer to this; however, there are some factors to think about before making a decision on what’s best for your personal situation and to prevent making any hasty decisions.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself first before considering the pros and cons of telling someone that you like them:

– How long have you known this person?
Timing is everything when it comes to building personal relationships. If it is too soon, the other person might not have developed the same feelings towards you or if too much time was taken before saying something, the person might have lost patience and interest with the slow pace of the relationship and already has moved on. Needless to say, timing is definitely a factor.

– How did you meet this person? (From work, school, online, mutual friend, etc.)

The way in which you met this person can influence whether or not it is a wise choice to say something. I say that because if you met this person at your workplace, it might not be worth expressing your interest because the other person might prefer to keep things more professional. If you met online, it might be more acceptable to say something as both of you went on a dating app in hopes of meeting someone and might both have the same desire to start a relationship.

– Do you think this person feels the same way about you?
It can be very tricky to know where you stand in the other person’s mind, whether they view you strictly as a friend, crush, casual fling, or a potential love interest. Although you might not be a mind reader, it is sensible to think about whether or not the other person likes you enough for the relationship to progress. If the feelings are not mutual, you could run the risk of making the current relationship that you have with this person extremely awkward.

After thinking about some crucial details in regards to your situation, we can now discuss the pros and cons in telling someone that you like them. I think it can be a good idea to say something if you have spent enough quality time with the other person for feelings to naturally develop and if you do sense there is even a hint of a mutual interest. The reason being that this way, you don’t waste anyone’s time and can see where the relationship goes. I also do believe that it is healthy to be able to express your emotions in order to stay true to yourself and not have to hold back in any way. If it turns out that the other person does not feel the same and you hold zero emotional attachment to the outcome, then it is also not a bad idea to say something because if you get rejected, at least it is better to know now than to find this out after investing too much time with this person. Even if the outcome is not in your favor, it still is more beneficial to know this information as soon as possible so that you can move on to a more meaningful and fulfilling relationship down the line.

As previously mentioned, the only major con to saying something is that you could get outright rejected; however, rejection does not need to be perceived as such a bad thing as it is a part of life and should be embraced for building inner strength and personal growth. I say that because often times, people need to fail now in order to succeed later. If you are emotionally attached to the outcome and already know that your ego is going to be deeply crushed if the person does not like you in return, then it might be better to not say anything and to continue to just take it one day at a time.

Ideally, if you do not form any emotional attachment to the outcome, then you are not at risk of getting hurt and can move on rather quickly. This is the ultimate goal because then no matter their response, you still have the upper hand in the situation by being in control of your destiny and in knowing that you are totally fine either way! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Navigating Negativity – How to Rise Above When People Try to Bring You Down

It is inevitable that you are going to come across people who are negative by nature or perhaps go out of their way to attempt to bring you down. (Key word: attempt — because these people will never succeed and you will continue to rise above them every time ๐Ÿ˜‰ ). It is important to be mindful when these occurrences happen so that you can handle them in the best ways possible and over time, you can actually prevent these situations from ever happening to begin with.

Remain Positive and Calm – It is always wise to keep your emotions at bay by remaining as cool and calm as possible. There is no need to react agitated, frustrated, annoyed, mad, etc. It is also very important to stay positive to show the other person that you are not bothered by their negativity because if they see that it has no effect, chances are, they won’t continue to bother you.

Do Not Stoop to Their Level – It is very easy to put the other person down in return out of defense or because they started to attack you but there is no need to stoop to their level. It is way more advantageous to NOT be negative in response to the other person as two wrongs don’t make a right.

Hold a Zero Tolerance Policy – By this I mean, do not even take the time to entertain people who say negative things to you or respond to it in any way. When you hold a zero tolerance policy, you won’t put in any thought or energy to what was said and just keep it moving instead. You have way more better things to think about than to engage in someone who has directed any sort of negativity towards you.

Never Take it Personally – It is a sad reality that there are certain people out there who want to put other people down to make themselves feel elevated or better about themselves to compensate for how badly they feel inside. This is their problem and not yours. That is why you should simply never take it personally. You have the choice in how it affects you so make a positive choice by not taking it personally and simply ignoring it.

Avoid These People in its Entirety – The best way to avoid negative energy is to avoid negative people altogether. When choosing friends and people to spend your quality time with, always choose people who are naturally happy and positive individuals who are genuinely going to want to be your biggest supporters. There is no need to keep negative people in your life so make it a point to cut them off completely and only make space for those who impact you in positive ways. At the end of the day, there is an abundance of positivity out there so why surround yourself with negative and miserable people? (You never should have to)!

Why Similar Lifestyles Matter in A Relationship

Everyone’s lifestyle varies and it is unlikely to meet someone with the exact same lifestyle as you; however, finding someone with a pretty similar one is very important for long term relationship success. It is natural and okay to have differences including different hobbies but when two people live life in ways in which two people cannot easily relate to each other, it is tough to ask for either person to adapt to the other. It is also very easy for the relationship to deteriorate over time as people tend to get resentful or can simply just get tired of each other’s differences.

That is why it is of extreme importance to pay attention to a person’s overall lifestyle from the start of getting to know someone. Although lifestyle can be impacted by one’s career choice, location, and other factors–the way in which a person chooses to live their life is a personal choice that often won’t change. It is good to examine the major components of one’s lifestyle that can include:

– How does this person like to spend their free time?
– How does this person manage their money? Are they more of a spender or a saver?
– What is their idea of a vacation?
– What are their health habits? What does health/fitness mean to them?
– What are their life goals? Are they in alignment with yours?
– Where do they want to live?

Does this person practice a religion and to what extent?
How much time is enjoyed being spent alone and with their partner?
– What does intimacy mean to this person?

This is just a general list to go by but keep in mind that there are many other areas that can contribute to one’s lifestyle. Please note that I did not list anything that was trivial such as a person’s favorite pizza topping or sports team as I would categorize that as a personal preference and not so much associated with their lifestyle. Of course as I mentioned, nothing is going to be exact but instead, it is most important to focus on what’s SIMILAR. When two lifestyles are very similar, it allows for two people to continuously grow together while genuinely loving each other’s company even more as they are brought together by their shared interests. There is a reason why they say, “Birds of a feather, flock together” which very much applies here.

When Words and Actions Don’t Line Up – Which is More of an Indicator of a Person’s True Intent?

[I was going through my saved drafts and stumbled upon this title I wrote from June of 2020 so I guess this was a topic that was on my mind a year ago but one that I never took the time to develop. So I figured I might as well write my thoughts on this].

They always say, “Actions speak louder than words.” However, aren’t there instances where a person’s words can speak louder than their actions? Or better yet, when a person’s actions and words are consistently equal with one another? Unfortunately, many people tend to send mixed messages (whether intended or not) so it is not always easy to understand someone’s intent when their actions and words don’t go hand in hand. This is where you have to rely more heavily on your intuition as opposed to your perception. Typically, your intuition will guide you in the right direction. When you experience moments of doubt, trust what your intuition is telling you. If you ever sense a lack of clarity, it exists for a reason so take it seriously.

Aside from your intuition which we are naturally born with, some people have sharper intuition than others. Meaning that intuition is not enough in really understanding whether or not a person’s actions or words are more reliable. I find that this is why you need to understand what is more important to that specific person. For example, for me personally, given the choice–I value words more than actions. In my interactions with others, I prefer to use my words and be direct with people as a way to communicate as opposed to actions alone. That does not mean that I cannot be deciphered based on the actions I take but what it does mean is that my words can be taken at total face value. What I say is what I mean–there typically is not a hidden meaning behind my words. I try to make an effort to chose my words wisely and I appreciate when people communicate concisely the way I do, although I am aware enough to know that not everyone is like me in that way. Although this is my preference, there are people who don’t really take their words as seriously or even choose to use their words as often as they prefer to communicate with their actions. This is why you need to examine an individual to see what they value more as this will tend to determine how they communicate with the outside world. People are always conveying their true selves through both their words and actions but at the end of the day, people are going to best express themselves through their desired form of communication.

Happy One Year Anniversary – Makeupthelifeyoulove.com

It is crazy to think that today is the one year anniversary of launching this blog publicly onto WordPress. I actually had started working on this website during the height of the pandemic last April and May (that is why my very first content was posted in May of 2020) but I did not make it public until June 1, 2020. I knew that I wanted to get back into blogging again and the quarantine last year provided me the ample time needed to start this writing project from scratch. I have blogged on and off throughout my life but decided I wanted to commit myself to something of substance and with a positive purpose.

Considering I only write as a hobby, I am amazed at the increase in readership since I started this time last year. I peruse my blog statistics every so often to see that I attract people from around the world along with repeat readers who are now also loyal subscribers. As of today, I have 219 subscribers which is a remarkable number as most are people I do not know in real life. Whether you stumbled across this at random from a search engine just for a single blog post or you visit here more frequently, just know that I appreciate each and every one of you who take the time to read my content! I really strive to help people make better life choices, feel good about themselves, and to walk away feeling empowered AF! ๐Ÿ™‚ If I can make any impact on your life for the better through my writing, then I could not be happier as this is what makes blogging such an incredibly rewarding hobby.

Happy anniversary to my blog today and thank you to my readers who make this a meaningful experience! โค

(PS – If you are curious as to what was my most popular post written last year, it was this one. I noticed in the month of May, it received over 500 hits alone).