People often question what the rules are when it comes to casual relationships and if they are worth pursuing. When I refer to a casual relationship, I am NOT referring to a one night stand but more specifically, a relationship that is not serious with any true commitment attached to it but at the same time, it is an on going relationship. This might include quality time spent and/or intimacy as well. Every situation is different and can vary. I honestly have nothing wrong with casual relationships as sometimes it is the right choice for someone who might not be looking to get married or perhaps for someone who just got out of a relationship and are not really looking to get too emotionally invested within their next relationship. So who am I to judge? It is a personal choice and sometimes more beneficial to be in a casual relationship than a serious one because it tends to be low stress and less maintenance. I do believe it can work but only under a few conditions:
Zero Attachment to the Outcome – Unfortunately, people get caught up in casual relationships with the hope that it can lead to a serious relationship and feelings to develop over time. You cannot go into a casual relationship with any hope for something more than what it currently is. Sometimes the outcome can change over time but the majority of the time, it does not and that is the reason why it is labeled casual to begin with. So if you are going to choose to have a casual relationship, accept it for what it is–it is CASUAL which means you should not hold onto any false hope that it can lead to a deeper connection, love, or anything all too meaningful to the other person.
No Romantic Feelings – It is never wise to go into a casual relationship if you have some sort of feelings towards the other person, especially if they made it clear to you that they do not feel the same way. Reason being that you are emotionally investing in someone with not much of a return other than having their time and company. It goes both ways and if you know the other person has feelings for you, you should not pursue the casual relationship as they will probably be resentful towards you as time goes on and it is not right to mislead someone who likes you more than you like them. It is much better to let a person go completely than to selfishly stay with someone for the sake of it, convenience, and/or to pass time when you know this person wants more than you can give.
100% Mutual Between Two People – The only way it can truly work out is if both people want the same thing which in this case means a relationship that isn’t all too serious. If two people genuinely want that, then it is a win/win situation and can be successful.
The biggest problem with casual relationships is that many people tend to go into them having some expectation that it can lead to more or there are already feelings of attachment. The only way it can work is if two people are okay with not putting too much emphasis on building anything substantial from it. Bottom line: Take casual at face value and enjoy it as an easy going relationship without trying to establish a secure future. If this is not what you are looking for, then do not even bother getting yourself involved and hold out for a relationship that provides more value and meaning. There is no need to settle for anything less than what you truly want. Be crystal clear in what you want from the Universe and be comfortable with saying no to people who are not willing to give you what you want because you are only clearing the path for the right person to come into your life to give you everything (and much more 😉 ).