Monthly Archives: March 2021

Change Your Narrative to Change the Outcome – How to Shift a Negative Narrative Into a Positive One

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Life is very much about achieving your best possible outcome, typically within the most dominant areas of your life such as your career, relationships, health, and financial future. What you might not think much about is how you control your personal narrative which ultimately impacts the overall outcome. Which leads me to the question: Are you consciously aware of how you are setting up your life path?

Sometimes you will come across someone (or perhaps this might describe you) who hold onto such a heavy amount of negativity which sadly deteriorates the narrative. What’s the outcome? As one could predict, not a positive one.

“I never went to college, so I will never be successful.”

“I have a learning disability, so I already am at a disadvantage in life.”

“I’m not physically attractive, nobody wants to be with me.”

“I am too old now, I am not desirable enough to get married.”

“I can barely pay my bills, I will never be able to purchase a house.”

It is normal from time to time to go through moments of doubt; however, this should never be the primary focus in your mind and determine the final destination within your life. So let’s change the narrative a bit…

“I don’t need to go to college to be a successful individual. I have other skills and talents that will guarantee me happiness, wealth, AND success.”

“A learning disability does not define who I am nor limit what life has to offer me. I can achieve what I want like anyone else can.”

“I love my self image and am physically attractive to the people who know a good thing when they see it.”

“Age does not dictate when I find love or when marriage is right for me. I am destined to get married to the love of my life in my future.”

“Each and every day, I am working towards buying my dream house.”

Do you see the radical difference? It is amazing what a simple shift can do to uplift your spirits and get you on the right track. Of course there are going to be instances in life where you might project a positive mindset and narrative in how you want your life to pan out and it does not go as planned. This is not an excuse for you to give up or cloud your mind with negative thoughts so do not ever allow this to be an option!

In order to make the positive change on your personal narrative, here are some things to consider:

– Actually take the time to think about what you want most and the positive things that you would like to attract. Many people live day by day but are not thinking much about their future. Once you determine what you want, do not focus on the limiting factors that could be preventing you from achieving what you want–instead you need to work with what you already have and take the action steps that are required of you to manifest what you want most.

– If it does not come natural for you to think positively, actually take the time to write positive affirmations that apply to you AND read them daily. Ideally this can be done before bed and when you wake up so they can transfer within your subconscious mind over time. This simple practice is more helpful than you realize and best of all, it is never too late in life to get started.

– As important as it to create a [positive] life narrative, you actually NEED to believe in your narrative! If you are not at a place where you believe what you want to achieve, then this just means you need to work on yourself. FYI, this is something we all should be doing on a regular basis–creating our best version of self. When we actually become our best version of self, with that comes self love and positivity which will allow you to naturally attract everything you want because of your strong belief you can have it all. 🙂

One of the Greatest Motivating Factors – Being Told “No”

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I was reading a book where I came across a quote that I had never seen before:

I thought to myself, this is incredibly accurate and true. When someone tells you that you cannot do something or something is out of your reach, don’t buy into this negativity! Why are you letting someone underestimate your abilities and self worth? Let people think what they want but you do what you want and prove them otherwise but most importantly prove it to yourself.

I always remind people that for every person who says no, trust me, there are PLENTY of people who will say yes. This applies to entering new relationships, finding a job, etc. Even if you went through a series of rejections, let that serve as a way to motivate you to rise above and elevate yourself to a higher level. Don’t ever let a “no” leave yourself feeling defeated and focus on everything that you CAN do because you can do it all (and much more)! 🙂

Trust Issues – Understanding Where They Come From and Can They Be Fixed?

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When it comes to trust, you will find there are people who trust very easily or those who do not in which they can easily be classified as people with “trust issues.” A person who is labeled this way typically possesses a deep fear of betrayal, abandonment, manipulation, or perhaps may even have trouble developing an emotional attachment because of their trust issues. When you are faced with someone with trust issues, chances are the person will bring them up or find a way of accusing you of things on a regular basis (or enough for you to notice it) even when you have not done anything to give them a reason that you cannot be trusted. That might make you wonder, “What am I doing to cause this?” when usually it is not personal to you and it is an internal issue on behalf of the other person.

There are various reasons to explain why someone will develop this whereas someone else will not. The explanation can be very complicated but usually stems from these causes:

Negative Experience From Their Past – Usually if someone was badly burned from a previous relationship (ex: lying, cheating, etc.), then the person will always have in the back of their mind that it can happen again even if they are with a totally different person.

Bad Childhood – No one’s childhood is perfect but if there were abandonment issues or perhaps distrust from one’s own family, this can heavily impact someone to develop trust issues at a very young age.

Insecurity – Insecurity is a separate issue in and of itself but can very much correlate with having a lack of trust. Someone who constantly feels insecure within themselves will always feel as though their partner can easily leave them for someone else or just be extra paranoid someone is going to betray them in some way due to not feeling they are not worthy enough of being treated well.

Poor Character (Cannot Be Trusted) – People who have the biggest trust issues are often times people who cannot be trusted themselves. In other words, if they believe someone will cheat on them, it could be because they have cheated before and/or continue to do it so they assume others behave the way they do.

Do trust issues ever go away? Can they be fixed? I think that for some, with the right amount of time and conscious effort to fix them, they can be fixed but it probably will not be an overnight process. For most, I do not see it as something that will go away in its entirety but again, if there is a focus to work on the issue, then it can definitely go away. It might also be wise to consider seeking a professional therapist who can assist in figuring out ways to cope and how to let go of the past. Remember, it is never too late to make a positive change in your life as long as you want it and are willing to work towards it!

Ask For What You Want From the Universe (OR SOMETHING BETTER)

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When I talk about how I am able to attract things that I want most in life and how I am spiritually connected to the Universe, people who are on the same spiritual wavelength “get it” whereas there are other people who hear this and probably think I am absolutely crazy (and I am okay with that). What works for me personally won’t work for everyone but I do happen to find that others who hold the same spiritual beliefs as I do also are on a great life track, attract abundance with ease, and are positive minded individuals who live life with fulfillment.

What is stopping most people from living the life that they want is that they are not specific in what they want. They might think about what they want from time to time which is a good start but it needs to be a laser focused thought that is specific along with a burning desire attached to it. There is a huge difference between, “It would be nice to lose a little weight” vs. “I want to lose 10 lbs and will do what it takes to reach my goal by changing my diet and working out a minimum of five days a week.” Saying anything “would be nice” is simply NOT nice enough when it comes to the manifestation process because it isn’t a firm enough statement backing up that you even want whatever it is that badly to begin with.

Besides asking for what I want which I do put the time to put into writing when it is something serious, I just got into the habit of adding to the end of the statement: Or something better. Right now, think about what you really want and try to be as detailed as you can be.

Ex: I want ________________ or something better.
(You fill in the blank of course).

The reason behind it is that I think of it like this, why put a limitation on what you are asking for? I can be very specific in what I want but I am always open to obtaining something even better than what I initially asked for. So the next time you are looking to manifest something, of course ask within reason but be sure to add “or something better” to the end of it because as we all know, ‘the sky’s the limit‘ so why can’t this apply to your life? 😉

How I Stepped Up My Fitness Routines Thanks to Instagram

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When it comes to exercise and fitness, if you are someone who is already very active and not a novice at the gym, it can be challenging to find ways to elevate your everyday workouts. Someone like myself who utilizes a gym membership by going on a regular basis, it is easy to gravitate towards the same weight machines and do the same moves all the time. Although I do make the effort to switch things up and change up the routines, I still feel there is more room for change. When it comes to any type of exercise, the body adapts pretty quickly which is why you need to incorporate various moves and activities where the body feels challenged on a regular basis or otherwise, it will not change over time. People often do not understand why they have reached a plateau and usually this is due to not challenging the body enough and doing too much of the same stuff.

Although there are many resources on YouTube and plenty of workouts you can probably access through an app, I actually find Instagram to be the most ideal place to find new workouts. There are many fitness professionals and enthusiasts who post their workouts on Instagram. To find a workout, you can use hashtags to find exactly what you are looking for. For example, you can type something like #legsworkout and you will find plenty of results where people post a short video of their routine or it might feature a single move. It is great because they are usually short clips versus watching a full hour of someone’s workout. On Instagram, there is also a way you can bookmark people’s posts so I have an entire bookmarked section, “Fitness” where I bookmark moves that I like from various people. I cannot always rely on my memory to remember everything I viewed which is why the bookmarking feature on Instagram is extremely beneficial as I can refer back to it at any time.

So before I go to the gym, I look through some of my bookmarked videos on Instagram so I have an idea what I want to do when I get there. I find that having the video is helpful for viewing the proper form of the exercise to ensure I can execute it correctly at the gym myself. When it comes to fitness, being that it is a very important component of my lifestyle and a self investment I will never neglect, I always want to find ways to try new things and pick up new challenges along the way. There are certain exercises I really like which I will still continue to do but there is always room for growth and improvement. As they say, “no pain, no gain” so rather than stay in the comfort zone, it is valuable to push yourself to maximize your long term results.

Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others – You Could Be Doing This

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I recognize that it is natural for people to compare themselves to others as a baseline for how their own life should be carried out. One might feel by a particular age, there are certain milestones that should be achieved or maybe one might see something on social media which sparks a thought in their mind that they wish their life could be as “picture perfect.” With social media platforms often used as a way to see if they measure up to others and/or as a way to paint an extra grandiose version of self and life, it is easy to fall into the habit of comparing yourself to someone else. Again, I understand how making a comparison often happens but people need to stop wasting their time comparing themselves to other people as it often leads to negative feelings of insecurity and jealousy. The reason being that this comes from a scarcity mindset where one feels inadequate and that they are not enough. Nothing is enough to them because of the emptiness from within. They focus on what they lack rather than putting their energy into something much more positive–creating their own best life.

There are ways in which you can make healthy comparisons so I do not want to classify all comparisons as negative. It can become positive if you have the capacity to look at someone else and genuinely be happy for that person and aspire to elevate your life to a higher level. That brings me to what you can be doing instead. You can make life improvements and adjustments to enhance your current life. Remember, we are all in control of our destiny and a work in progress with our very own individual life path. That is why I stay in my lane and just focus on my path because I determine where that path leads on my terms and I know that the way in which I live is personal to me. Even if two people had very similar aspirations and perhaps are on the same career path, that does not mean they will both be going at the same pace or that their outcomes would be the same.

In addition to wanting to make the changes needed to live a better life, why not learn from others as opposed to making a negative comparison? If you happen to know the person in real life, you can ask them how they got to where they are and assign them as a personal role model and/or mentor. If the person is someone famous, I am sure you can google information on how they got started along with watching interviews to learn more about their lives. Everyone should really take the time to learn from other people while also paying it forward by teaching others because we are each other’s best resources. In my professional life, when I come across someone who wants to pursue makeup artistry or know how I became successful within my career, I want to do whatever I can to help that person get on the right track.

Final Note: If you find you are someone who compares yourself to other people who you perceive have it better than you, take a moment to shift your mindset onto how you are fully capable of having it all yourself in your own unique way while doing some research as I mentioned. Lastly, do not forget to be grateful for what you do have right now while concentrating on what you want to manifest for yourself over time.

Why Going Back to An Ex Has A Negative Impact On Your Spiritual Path and Self Development

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A friend had asked me a few days ago, “Do you miss any of your exes and wish you could go back to any of them?” Without a hint of hesitation, my response was, “Absolutely, NOT.” Does this make me a cold hearted individual? No, not at all. I look at it like this: The past needs to stay in the past. Life should be progressing forward. In order to spiritually grow and create a brighter future for yourself, the ship needs to sail to a new destination (in this case, a new relationship or happily single to work on yourself also applies here too).

You can still appreciate what the relationship brought to you at that moment and I encourage you to do so. With the good times, there were also life lessons. I never regret any of my previous relationships because that is what the Universe attracted into my life during that time and even though it did not last forever, it still served a purpose. No matter the duration, I never look at it as “wasted time” and no one should ever view it that way. Do you look at your previous jobs as wasted time if you did not stay at one company the entire time? No, of course not because this is what you choose to be a part of your life experience and most people explore multiple job opportunities within their career path.

Relationships shape you as an individual but they also prepare you for someone even better. Yes, you heard me. Your future is going to be far more superior than your past. In order for that scenario to play out, you need to believe that with every ounce of your soul (not just because I said you so) along with taking the ACTION needed to make that happen for yourself. This means completely letting go of your past without leaving any open doors for an ex to creep back in–unfortunately, we all know there are many desperate and needy people out there who try to knock on the door for another chance. This also means having the mental strength to not want to revisit the past either. In other words, it goes both ways. You have to shut the door but you also have to have the burning desire to want to start over with a clean slate. If you are despairingly in search of finding a new partner simply to replace your ex when your mind is still not over the last person you dated, then you clearly have not taken the definitive action that is needed to clear your past.

Whether you broke it off or they did or maybe it was mutual, cut your losses and move on with your life. Trust me, it is for the greater good for everyone because each person can grow from the experience and move onto a new life path. Personally, I find it exciting to know what the future will bring than to ever even consider pursuing a failed relationship. If it did not work out the first time, what is the point in going back? For security? Convenience? Comfort? Lack of belief that there is a better suited match? People tend to go back for the wrong reasons, settle for less than they deserve, and/or stay attached to a false hope that they will reunite with an ex. In certain situations, I think there is room for optimism but the majority of time, it just isn’t worth it. Remember, as I often like to quote from Frank Sinatra’s famous song title, “The best is yet to come.” You just have not experienced it just yet but keep your mind open to the possibilities because the Universe will make it happen (this does not only apply to love, it applies to everything in life!)–Trust the process and you shall receive its greatest gifts! 😉

Don’t Like to Exercise? – Maybe I Can Convince You Otherwise

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For me personally, heath and fitness have always been a huge priority in my life. I started exercising on a regular basis since I was in high school and although my routines have varied throughout my life, there was never a time I took an extended break from it or was too busy to exercise. The truth of the matter is, we are never “too busy” for the things we care about most. Being that staying healthy and in shape are important to me, a good diet paired with an exercise routine are both essentials. I do not believe that you can rely solely on good genetics–that is not enough. Although the science shows that what you eat has more of a higher impact on your overall health and well being than exercise, there is no doubt that putting both into practice will provide you with the very best results.

I actually truly do not understand people who do not exercise. People should want to take care of themselves and take accountability for their health. I suppose the reasons can vary from not enjoying it, too many professional and/or personal obligations, getting bored doing it, or maybe not looking at the long term positive effects of incorporating exercise into daily life. Even if you cannot find a little time out of your day to do it a few days a week, I always say that any time you can commit to yourself is always better than nothing.

If you are in the category where you never exercise or maybe you do so at random but there is no real emphasis on making it a priority, I would like to provide some reasons as to why you need to start making it a habit.

Keeps You Young and Looking Good – People who take the time to exercise regularly always look way younger than their physical age. I will admit, this was always one of the many incentives as to why I stuck with it was because I knew that it would preserve my youth over time. Aesthetically, I also always wanted to stay in shape and knew that the work (aka exercise) would provide the results I was looking for.

Improves Energy Levels / Mood / Mental Health – Without a doubt, after a good workout, I feel amazing. This includes feeling accomplished, energized, strong (both mentally and physically), productive, happy, and so much more. I am naturally a positive and happy person but by adding a solid workout to my day really takes it to a higher level by uplifting my mood and building my mental strength.

Prevents Potential Health Problems From Occurring Later in Life – Exercise cannot prevent everything as we know that certain health problems are genetic and are completely out of our hands no matter how much we eat well and exercise. However, keeping the body healthy definitely adds a layer of protection in preventing serious health problems to arise.

Helps with Weight Management – As we age, it is natural for the metabolism to slow down and unexpected weight to appear out of no where. Even if you have consistently been a relatively healthy individual, it is still easy for the body to put on weight over time. This is where exercise helps by burning excess calories and if you also weight train, the muscle you build will aid in weight management by keeping the body lean and trim. (If genetically, you are thin to begin with, this does not give you a pass to not have to exercise. Even though you might not be looking to lose weight, you can still exercise by lifting weights to add muscle to your body which is ideal).

Increases Longevity – I know for some, people live day by day, not thinking about their future, let alone tomorrow. However, if you could live a longer and healthier life, wouldn’t that be the best scenario? By adding exercise, you are staying healthy and ultimately extending your life by investing in your health.

Even though these are all reasons that you probably are familiar with and they are nothing new to you, at the very least, I hope reading this can inspire you to make a healthy life change and open your mind to the idea of making exercise a part of your lifestyle–not just a temporary resolution that you make and fail to keep each year.

How to Get Started TODAY: The best thing you can do is start incorporating small amounts at a time and vary the activities. Ideally, find things that you enjoy. If you like going on nature walks, I would still count that as a form of exercise because at least you are moving. Over time, you can increase the amount of time you allot during the week and increase the intensity. Again, start small and gradually you can always do more as time progresses.

* If you are totally clueless when it comes to working out or what would be the best moves for your current fitness level, consider hiring a professional who can personalize a routine just for you and teach you how to exercise properly.

* If you really want to take it a step further, write down your activity each day. Even for someone like myself who has the self motivation to exercise daily, there is still a need to stay on track and record the progress. How do I stay disciplined and regimented? — I write it down every single day! I simply record the activity and how many minutes along with what I ate that day. As I mentioned, a nutritious diet and a fitness regime are the golden combo when it comes to staying healthy! 🙂

Fixate on Everything You DO Have (Not What is Lacking) to Increase Positivity and Abundance In Your Life

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Often times I have conversations with people and I cannot help but notice how unhappy and empty they appear to feel inside. This can range from someone complaining about every little thing, making excuses as to why their life is the way it is (aka miserable), and/or their energy is focused on everything they are lacking. I believe that often times, the greatest barrier that is preventing someone like this from growing and attracting abundance into their life stems from their mindset–a very negative, limiting, and weak one. This is where you need to make a conscious effort to stop yourself from clouding your mind with these negative thoughts and get into a habit of developing more positive ones. The truth is, life is not going to be sunshine and rainbows at all times. There will be storms and dark clouds (spiritually speaking) along the way but you cannot focus on the darkness because it will eventually subside and it is only temporary. Remember, it is as temporary as your mind determines it to be so the quicker your mind can move on from the negativity, the better. Although it is natural and okay to feel moments of doubt and unhappiness from time to time, you cannot allow these feelings to dominate your mind on a regular basis–you need to consciously detach yourself from developing these into permanent feelings.

I also want to point out that everyone is born with special gifts and talents which we need to continue to build and expand on. Don’t focus on what you are missing, focus on what you got going for you. EVERYONE has SOMETHING to offer! What is your special gift? What gives your life purpose and how can you provide value to yourself and others? Look at what you have going for you and learn to be thankful for all your amazing attributes instead of complaining about what you don’t have. This most certainly applies to your looks too. So what if you’re not that tall? So what if you don’t like the shape of your nose? Whatever it is that you perceive as an “imperfection,” why are you not acknowledging your very best features? People tend to complain about what they wish they had and might go through drastic measures to change them when they should be owning what they do have instead. I do not want to hear that you cannot live a better life or be happy because of something you are missing which stems from what is missing on the inside. Continue to focus on what’s great. At the end of the day, you need to work with what you have and fully go with it!