When People Really Are Too Busy – Learn How to Accept it (or Move On)

Often times if someone is too busy, it is seen as quite a negative thing. People automatically interpret that the person is just not that interested or perhaps aloof and detached. While in many cases this can be the case, this is NOT always the case–some people really are too busy. Some people may have multiple things in their lives to balance whether it is their career, education, and/or family life. Some people truly do not have as much free time. Does this mean that they do not want to hang out with you? My answer is: Not necessarily. (So there is no need to take it personally!)

As a professional makeup artist, I work in a services profession which requires that I work most weekends and this can vary from weekend to weekend just depending on how many bookings I have. While most people are off on the weekends to hang out, this is not often the case for me unless I am working during a slow season such as the winter. This also means that making concrete weekend plans weeks in advance can be dicey and sometimes the little free time that is left for myself on a weekend I just prefer to be left alone to sleep, relax, or work out.

I recognize that people with extremely busy schedules can be frustrating to hang out with but there are a few ways to navigate this.

Respect the Other Person’s Space and Time – If their time is limited, do not ask for too much of their time because they may just not have the time to give. If you are understanding of their time and space, they will not feel pressured and will be more inclined to want to spend time with you once they have some free time in their schedules.

Be Patient if They Take Longer to Respond – Although we live in a world where sending a text message is quick and easy, not everyone is physically on their phones at all times to reply. The worst thing you can do is double text or constantly send them messages to get their attention. If they are genuinely busy then there is no need to remind them of your presence as they will get back to you at their earliest convenience.

Find Hobbies and Personal Interests to Occupy Your Time – If you know of set times that this person is usually unavailable, find hobbies and things to do during that time rather than always waiting around for them. It is good to have your own separate life with your own personal interests that does not involve the other person.

Work Around Their Schedule – It is important to be as accommodating and flexible as possible when trying to make plans with this person. If they have to cancel last minute due to a work function or something that is of importance, then do not give them a hard time about it and just let them be the ones to reschedule it with you. They will make the time for you if you allow them to.

Know the Difference Between Whether the Person Actually is Too Busy or Just Not That Into You – As I mentioned, there will be instances where you come across someone who is not direct enough to say they are uninterested but will rather just appear to be too busy all the time. Unfortunately, this means they are trying to spell out that they are too busy to spend their time with you. In this scenario, you are better off leaving this person alone altogether. If they are interested in reconnecting, then they will find a way to do so.

[Final Note: Also keep in mind that if you find that the person never has enough time to spend with you as you would like, it might be a good idea to find someone who has the same expectations as you of how much quality time is spent with one another. Each person can grow very resentful towards each other if they feel as though one person is not getting enough time while the other feels they are giving more than they actually have to give. In order to strike the right balance, it is important to have these open conversations. If you find that this will always cause a conflict without much of a solution, then find someone who has the same expectations as you in terms of how much time is spent together and apart.]

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