Why I Don’t Believe in Ghosting and What You Should be Doing Instead

In the context of modern dating, ghosting has become very much a common phenomenon. Essentially it is when a person you have established a connection with or perhaps are seriously dating completely falls off the face of the earth. This can happen in various forms but I would say the most popular is via text as this is the easiest way to casually stay in contact with someone which makes it even easier to go cold turkey and completely stop responding to the messages altogether. To officially label it as ghosting, it has to be a current scenario where there was a period of daily communication with the person and after a few failed attempts, the person without warning just disappears.

If an actual emotional connection had been established on either end and/or you were seeing the person consistently, I do not think it is ever appropriate to ghost someone once you made a firm decision on your terms that you no longer want to talk or get together with the person anymore. I view the act of ghosting as a sea of many negative things: selfish, cowardly, cold, immature, and insensitive just to name a few.

In a situation where you met the person one time or there was truly no connection to begin with, a valid reason as to why you no longer want to talk to the person might not be necessary and yes, you do not owe an explanation in those circumstances. However, if you were connected in any way whether it be emotionally, spiritually, or physically, I think the right thing to do instead of ghosting is to just be one hundred percent transparent and straight up with the person. Even if you know that it might not be what the other person wants to hear, at the very least you earn a level of respect for being straightforward while also saving the other person their mental sanity and time from analyzing the situation more than is needed to do so. I don’t fully understand why it is difficult for people to express with their words that there no longer is an interest or whatever the specifics may be. I know it might appear harsh or you might fear you are hurting the person’s feelings but you are ultimately helping the person by telling the truth than to just ignore the person without a reason. I think ignoring someone is way more hurtful than just delivering the hard truth.

For me personally, as the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy” and this should apply to most everything in life including your personal relationships. I do not think I can ever think of a time I ever ghosted someone because I just do not see it as the morally right thing to do to someone if the person liked me on some deeper level and was emotionally invested in any way. The times I was not interested in really seeing someone anymore, I would just spell it out and give an explanation. It does not have to be a super drawn out explanation either. I think open communication is always more effective in the long run and it is more beneficial to give someone proper closure than to make someone question what happened or be left in a state of confusion as to what lead up to the demise of the relationship.

So the next time you are in a dating situation, relationship, or even friendship that you would like to end altogether, rather than ghosting or running away from the situation, just find a way to be honest with yourself and the other person. Remember, you are doing everyone a favor by simply expressing your true intentions.

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